http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:gothickuroneko&section=today deviantART RSS for by:gothickuroneko en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 23 Dec 2009 04:42:42 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/21863215/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/21863215/ Sun, 07 Dec 2008 10:55:19 PST

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]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/20954358/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/20954358/ Sun, 12 Oct 2008 13:45:59 PDT
Honestly, Please know, I am nothing of that person anymore. I am far from it.

I can see the flaws, I can see the destruction, the horror, the absolutely fucked up shit of the world. How much we have continuously destroyed her and it breaks my heart. I hope you see these things too. Of course understanding stands along side with sight.

I feel the grass, I feel the energy, I see it all and I want nothing more to be one with our great mother and our father eternity, the sun, the giver of all life.

It's truly gorgeous. It's truly and honestly profound and just amazing. It makes my soul move and cry out like nothing else can possibly do or even get near.

I hope you love our mother too, I hope you don't destroy her like everything else does...

Either way. I only write this so you know I've changed, So you know I'm not that whiny "apathetic" pitiful little child I used to be.

I've made some horrible mistakes, as I'm sure we all have, and I've learned a great amount from them. I'm sick of complaining and I'm sick of hoping for things that are impossibilities.

Live and Let live.

Truly something to think about. Anger conquers nothing.

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/20954102/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/20954102/ Sun, 12 Oct 2008 13:30:05 PDT
All these questions supposedly have no real answer that we are capable of possibly comprehending for the human mind is incapable of truly comprehending anything from absolute truth or divinity. Though, honestly, that's a load of shit.

Although that's not what this rant is about. For we can find our own fucking answers that fit our own little world and our own beliefs. Because we all know you wouldn't believe what I would have to say anyway.

Excuse the slight bit of irritation/anger.


I've always adored my mother, no matter how much she has destroyed my mentality and broken me down time and time again. This, not suggesting the pitiful and common tragedy of growing adolescence.

Though, lately, I've been noticing more and more of the flaws. Of the weakness in my head. My incapability of controlling my emotions, my mentality, and foremost - my sanity.

Images of my past have been raping my mind lately. Bringing up old emotions, old fears, old paranoia, anxiety and panic attacks. They have been getting more vivid and more distressing. I'm unsure how to handle it for the strength of it, now, is immense. I can't stand it. I've been doing all I possibly can to release the past aggression and depression but unfortunately I'm seeing it isn't really helping. This probably makes me sound weak and pitiful, but nevertheless that's not it at all.

I just feel tainted. Or something or other. I feel disappointed and simply depressed. My mother has destroyed me. She puts me in this home with two others who obviously despise me and don't care for my existence. And yet all she does about them is just constantly bitch to me about them? About how much she despises them for being them, it seems. Yet she deals with it, I have no idea why.

I don't belong here.

I honestly can tell you I don't. I hate it here. I'd rather move in with Linda or anyone who would possibly take me in. I can't stand this.

Yet if I tell mother that she'll freak out. She couldn't understand it. All I get from her family is negative energy whenever I'm in the room. I really don't like knowing my presence is constantly unwanted. I don't like the idea of being constantly judged in my own fucking house. It isn't fair, it's never been fair, and there's no solution to it.

I can't move with my brother, there's no room for me and there's no way in hell I'm leaving my true family here. (Jonny, Israel, etc)

I noticed how much I've been staying away from here lately, usually I enjoy being in solitude. I just... I honestly don't know what to do.

I want out... I really do. But I'd rather not hurt anything or be a burden to anyone either, so I guess I'm caught there? I just know I can't handle too much negativity or I start to literally go crazy...

I don't know. I just feel inflicted and hurt at the moment.

I don't belong.

Do we belong anywhere? Who knows.

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/12321660/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/12321660/ Sun, 25 Mar 2007 10:54:12 PDT i have now read Interview with the vampire, The Vampire Lestat, and The Vampire Armand all by Anne Rice! im in the midst of reading Queen of The Damned now... gah! i love her books lol.
i read the first season of Trigun (got it from some loser who thought i was gunna kick his ass lol)
ive read Legal Drug 1 and 2
the first Loveless
#1 of Yotsuba
and Deathnote all 1-10 ^_^

im gunna og shopping on the 1st at Suncoast at the mall cuz theyre having a sell, anyone have any ideas on what i should get besides the other Loveless books?

and yea, my life is looking up. i get to see Aaron this week sometime which is so kickass im extatic! and i get my braces off on Thuresday heheh... i bet ill look weird o.o
no idea.. AND i have a pet rat named Whiskers ^_^ my snake wouldnt eat her so she's my pet now which is pretty awesome.. eheh...

yea................. for those of you who still pay attention ot me, i love you O_O lol as friends of course ^_____^


Peace out guys!!

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/11716654/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/11716654/ Tue, 06 Feb 2007 22:45:57 PST i now know my future. i am destined to take over my mother's wretched Dish Network and Direct TV company no matter how much i dont want to. i have no reason with myself and why i should live anymore. but the only reason i wont do anything stupid is for the people i love and who love me. if there wasnt a such thing as love. id be dead. but i digress and ill get back to the point. ive realized i am not a child anymore, i am forced to do the boring and meaningless things such as school and all that and the creatures ive fantasized about and wanted so bad to meet and be apart of do not exist.
ive stopped drawing a lot since there doesnt seem to be meaning and ive tried to start up with my music once again but i will not stop drawing altogether. ive gotten into Anne Rice's books and ive read The Vampire Armand already and im now reading The Vampire Lestat now. but yet again those thing's dont matter.
and for another story to my pathetic and meaningless dramatic life
my so called "Friend" naomi has lied to me yet again is seems but that doesnt matter, im just getting sick of her really. i dont know what keeps me to her but im about to break that chain
hopefully she'll do as she wants and leave me and that school behind and go to the one she wants to, ill be a loner once again but i really dont care.

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/11566128/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/11566128/ Thu, 25 Jan 2007 15:05:04 PST
]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/11488566/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/11488566/ Thu, 18 Jan 2007 23:25:45 PST Emo is suppose to be "emotional"
yet, Emo music is in fact NOT emotional at all.
it's pathetic.
as for this steriotype.
its fucking stupid. people go around saying any guy who wears tight pants is emo (he may be gay, skater, or just likes the pants.)
the originally "goth" (one eye covered by hair) hairstyle has turned "Emo" its fucking stupid. ive loved that style since i was little now they ruined it >_< bastards.
and fucking seriously. they Cry too fucking much about NOTHING.
they think suicide and cutting is fucking BADASS.
it's fucking STUPID.
i would know, k?
i hate the retards that go around and say "omg im so emo!" they fucking wish. it's stupid to label yourself or anyone else but i suppose that's just my opinion?
labling yourself makes you a poser and a dumbfuck.
yet some "emo's" are just... that way... i suppose.
but seriously most emo's think their life is so fucking horrible when it's NOT.
like children when they don't get their way.
they have no idea what a lot of people have been through.
they don't go around crying about every little thing.
if they actually do have a bad life and they get beaten and shit, i understand. ive already been through that :/
but i still didnt go cry o_o i cried for like 5 seconds [i was 4-9] i didnt cry at 7+ when i got hit.
i was a child and i got hit for absolutely nothing o_o
seriously... i was playing with lego's and my 1st step dad just walked passed me and smacked me really hard on the head and just kept walking -_-
i hope he suffers.
ANYWAYS.

Emo Music = Pathetic/it sucks
Emo People = Get a grip. no one cares about this "hell" you live in when you have the perfect/good life. so just stoppit.

Also.
tomarow's my birthday so yay? im going to be 14 o_o
you should make me something :3

-Kessy

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/11354669/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/11354669/ Sun, 07 Jan 2007 19:36:02 PST i got back with my boyfriend and he forgave me and all that.
i decided i cant be without him cuz i was a wreck without you him :[
so yeah. ^_^

im working on some wicked pics so yea! ^_^

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/11330483/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/11330483/ Fri, 05 Jan 2007 21:39:06 PST so yeah..
he took it really badly, he says for me not to worry about him or his life and that i took his life away -_-
he doesnt believe i love him but i do
many people [4 of my loved ones] told me to do that because the longer it goes on the more itll hurt... so yeah...
i won't be drawing anything because i can't focus on anything at the moment.. i have one ready to be colored and stuff but i don't see the use in doing that right now.. sorry guys...

p.s. if u call me emo FUCK YOU. you obviously never had heartbreak..

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/11182667/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/11182667/ Mon, 25 Dec 2006 01:37:10 PST finally got internet back in my room.
and i fixed [somewhat] my computer..
so i got the pics up and stuff


happy holidays everyone.

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/10986369/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/10986369/ Thu, 07 Dec 2006 17:01:18 PST
sorry?

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/10626611/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/10626611/ Sun, 05 Nov 2006 15:02:59 PST
internet works

new art up!

^_^

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/10624134/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/10624134/ Sun, 05 Nov 2006 11:08:08 PST
peace.

-kessy

oh.. im not pissed but this computer sucks and when i click "mood" it tries to freeze the computer o.0

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/10539352/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/10539352/ Sat, 28 Oct 2006 15:57:41 PDT
]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/10273416/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/10273416/ Tue, 03 Oct 2006 16:17:36 PDT .< i broke my scanner on accident, i fell back in my chair, and the scanner didnt look like anything happened, i opened it and all the glass was shattered.. so there wont be any artwork for a loooonnng time

[link]

also i forgot it was glass and cut my hand on accident

[link]

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/10216868/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/10216868/ Thu, 28 Sep 2006 15:47:30 PDT how cool is that? i think it's pretty sweet, but in English ive had essays and huge homework stuff due like everyday, im going to do my one page paper about Slipknot cuz i'm already doing one of that band in music class and i already have everything for it, i just gotta write it! anyway, i know you guys could care less about my life and shit but i dont give a flying fuck!! ALSO ive made some kickass friends! they like slipknot and so they rock, one of em is in my grade, her name is Angela and she's a stoner. the other is in the 7th grade and he's so nice, his name is Isiah, i went to his b-day party a few weeks ago when i had barely even talked to him. Anyway, hopefully ill be able to go to Artists Desire Tomarrow!!!! i want to go there so bad, ever since i saw that place (before january) ive wanted to go.. but noooooooo and i also might go to bancocks! (music store) and check stuff out, i need some new colored pencils and paper (that paper i have SUCKS, rips so easily, i hate it..) sooo yea

Props to all you guys out there who are watching me! i dedicate all my stuff to you guys ^-^

Love you guys!!

Also,

Maggots must stick together no matter what!!! (my friend doesnt understand that since im always waving to the people who like slipknot lol)

Peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Kessy

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9732142/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9732142/ Tue, 15 Aug 2006 02:44:35 PDT umm im working on more pictures that will be awhile as well. i plan to start and finished pictures i have been wanting to draw for a long time.
i have cleaned my room! out of my own will :claps: what fun,
i had to go to my step-brothers foot-ball practice again today which is like 2 hours long.. very boring i might add, ive been going with my mother ever since he started having practice..and the time is 6pm which is when my friends get online -sigh- so i dont get to talk to them much anymore but oh well, i never see my mother either so i guess its all good.. umm oh yea! i watched all 26 episodes of Fruits Basket in 2 days on the internet. omg i love that anime!! it shouldnt of ended, it shouldve had more episodes showing how things went and shit. instead of ending!! GRRR ..
anywho.. its like 2:40 am so imma attempt to get some sleep now
bye byez

Good Friends :
, , , ,

Friends :

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9667081/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9667081/ Wed, 09 Aug 2006 22:25:46 PDT
Good Friends :
, , , ,

Friends :

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

New Friends :

, ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9635988/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9635988/ Tue, 08 Aug 2006 00:26:42 PDT for requests, fill out this shit if you want me to draw your characters or show me somthing youve already drawn or want me to draw --

-
Favorite colors: ?/?/?
Animal: fox/cat/rabbit
Age: child/teen/adult
Gender: male/female
sterio type: goth/punk/skater/ect.
clothes: tight/baggy
hair: short/medium/long
favorite band(s): ?/?
(optional)
Hair color: ?/?/?/?
eye color: ?/?
style of clothes: ?/?/?/?/?
ect.
-


Good Friends :
, , , ,

Friends :

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9429614/ Wed, 19 Jul 2006 18:09:50 PDT
--- ---

Favorite colors: ?/?/?
Animal: fox/cat/rabbit
Age: child/teen/adult
Gender: male/female
sterio type: goth/punk/skater/ect.
clothes: tight/baggy
hair: short/medium/long
favorite band(s): ?/?
(optional)
Hair color: ?/?/?/?
eye color: ?/?
style of clothes: ?/?/?/?/?
ect.

----

So yeah! fun fun :3 i finally found A pen that works, surprisingly, and i got some pocky the other day, and pocky is the SHIT n.n i love pocky,i need to get some more, ive only had strawberry pocky n.n anywhoo...yea..

--- ---

Best friend :


Good Friends :
, , ,

Friends :

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

New Friends :

http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9371019/ Fri, 14 Jul 2006 21:38:33 PDT
Best friend <3 :
[Squeegy you RULE <3]

Good Friends n.n :
, , ,

Friends:

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

New Friends:

,


haha i need more frie... ]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9368183/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9368183/ Thu, 13 Jul 2006 18:40:29 PDT ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9349674/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9349674/ Wed, 12 Jul 2006 00:41:18 PDT WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
n.n!!! ]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9316306/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9316306/ Sat, 08 Jul 2006 22:13:23 PDT anyway, while i was there i had a bad encounter..we were all outside in the front, mike was sitting in a chair smoking a ciggerette and jessee was leaned on the car also smoking, i was sitting on the ground leaned up against a bush. i felt a sort of anxiety rise in me, but it wasnt energetic. it was of Fear. and there was nothing around that scared me. i stared at the ground as it got worse, it stopped, but stayed. just stopped increasing, i looked around, the tree leaves looked as thought it had faces on each leaf, screaming in agony, but they were all black. the ground seemed as thought it was moving, every leaf or plant seemed as if each leaf was screaming in anger now. fear struck up in me and i jumped up and sat next to jessee. and no i wasnt on drugs, i was completly sober that night. and of course no one asked questions. im afraid luciel is going to come back, full force soon. its going to be a full moon soon. and he just loves full moons..more than anything, anyway, the previous night before that i went outside to check on jessee. she was messing with fireworks with her daughter. i felt a strange force take over. i was only half conscious. i couldnt control what i said or did. it was Luciel, i knew it. he told me to control my feelings (temperature, pain, ect.) and so my body stopped shivering and it began feeling numb. he was looking at the almost full moon, and later mike and jessee both were outside, their daughter inside, speaking of somthing, i cant remember. i wasnt full consious. luciel was thinking about blood. i could feel his yearning as well. he was so hungry, which made me hungry. hungry for blood anyway, i could see his memorys of biting into the flesh of his victims. oh such a remarkable feeling, when the fangs peirce the skin and blood comes rushing out. he wanted it so badly. when "i" was asked questions or anything he responded with an answer about death decay and blood, yet i guess it seemed like me, mike and jessee didnt suspect a thing. after awhile "we" went back in the livingroom and watches Mallrats. soon i took full control again, oh i wanted to tell Jessee so bad about what happened. i asked her several times if i was acting weird. she only thought i had acted weird when i was watching mikes game and was entertained. im always bored so w/e...she hadnt suspected anything! and luciel has been messing with me alot lately. i can tell when hes going to fuck with me, its the color of my eyes. when their fully green i know hes going to mess with me, my eyes are suppose to be blue/grey but they havent been for the last few days, since hes been with me.... ]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9220927/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9220927/ Thu, 29 Jun 2006 12:18:23 PDT ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9168943/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9168943/ Sat, 24 Jun 2006 12:27:42 PDT ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9080726/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/9080726/ Thu, 15 Jun 2006 19:37:11 PDT ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8830080/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8830080/ Sat, 20 May 2006 22:24:22 PDT [link] its the default pic on my profile, check it out......hes really cute, i miss him but im fine now ]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8770798/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8770798/ Sun, 14 May 2006 17:00:50 PDT that bitch lies none stop its like WTF and when i logged on yahoo i tried to talk to him and my friend came over, she logged and and he talked to her instantly -.- and she sex talks him cuz we were trying to get him to show up today and shit...which didnt work cuz he cant get a ride supposibly but oh well that bitch better hope i dont see him, imma fuck that bitch up so FUCKING bad .... ]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8631150/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8631150/ Sun, 30 Apr 2006 13:15:17 PDT < and i got to keep shadow's baby, dommy ^_^


[link]

so yea PEACE OUT ]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8616336/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8616336/ Fri, 28 Apr 2006 22:17:23 PDT .> hehe what now!! ^_______________^ i feel special so HA hehe i cant wait till school....................omfg thats scary lmfao i just wanna see richie since im not dumb anymore around him AND OMFG IM STUPID >.< im SOOO FUCKING STUPID he dropped his stuff and i like died lol i hesitated and just stood there, i wouldve helped but somone else already was -.- so dumb i hate you kesondra .................. rawr ]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8574724/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8574724/ Tue, 25 Apr 2006 15:47:52 PDT .< i wish lol but yea hes hot >.> and he looked at me and smiled! OMFGGGG -feels preppy- EW NO KILL THE PREPPIES XD lol ummm yea his name is richie and hes in his second year of 8th grade (im 7th) and yea...and NO i havent talked to him im fucked up and way to shy =/ oh well ANYWAY
Peace out i love you guys

friends (ty squeegy) :



only they talk to me really lol:



and these people sometimes:

]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8555028/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8555028/ Sat, 22 Apr 2006 20:59:57 PDT

PEACE!!! ^_^ ]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8430292/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8430292/ Mon, 10 Apr 2006 17:19:47 PDT yay lmfao keeho dumpeh meh cuz he wants me to be with my ex, julian and stuffs. but im not aloud to hav any more b/f's cuz im to young and everyone my age sucks!!! cuz their all immature as hell and also they just want to get fucked OH and about mark, he lied to me about EVERYTHING, the promises the love EVERYTHING he just wanted to get liad =/ what a fucker but if i see him again imma kick his ass (again) but oh well, way worse this time and this time it wont be for ivey it'll be because of his stupidity >.< omfg i hate that kid now! but oh well, i love you guys, you rock, peace out!! ]]> ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8182328/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/8182328/ Thu, 16 Mar 2006 19:56:11 PST ~gothickuroneko http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/7649874/ http://gothickuroneko.deviantart.com/journal/7649874/ Thu, 19 Jan 2006 15:45:36 PST ~gothickuroneko