deviantART: by:haphazardhostile

deviantART: by:haphazardhostile http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:haphazardhostile&section=today deviantART RSS for by:haphazardhostile en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:15:26 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino. http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/27768788/ http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/27768788/ Wed, 14 Oct 2009 18:28:58 PDT

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm JAMICAN so I must smoke weed.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a stuck up whore.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear skirts a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST like rap and act ghetto

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big peter.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.

I'm AUSTRALIAN, so I MUST live in the outback.

I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I HURT MYSELF, so I MUST be emo.

If you hate stereotypes and think people should just shut up and stop judging others, then POST THIS! Pick the stereotype that fits you the most, and put it in the subject when you re-post this.
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~haphazardhostile I may just give up.......... http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/27600915/ http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/27600915/ Mon, 05 Oct 2009 16:21:02 PDT Ummmmm,............I really hope you haven't gotten...um...too far into planning....................ummm.....I'M SORRY

I feel so fucking stupid. I was the one who suggested going back on friday anyways and I was working so hard to plan for it and even my DAD of all people was happy with it (so just imagine...if I could do that then I can move mountains) and then today they handed out calendars for the 2nd 6 weeks and now I have 2 tests, an essay, and a quiz on friday

I CAN'T DO THIS!!!!!
And I would just say "fuck it!" and skip anyways, but we have the PSAT next wednesday and everything and I'd have to stay after until 5:00 every day next week...maybe...I know this is getting really, really repetative...but maybe we can get together sometime soon, like one of these coming weekends...and I really hope you guys read this in time T_T'
I'm so fucking sorry

..........but maybe you guys could still go...without me

*sigh* Dig me a hole and put me in it

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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/27448426/ Sun, 27 Sep 2009 12:32:31 PDT I haven't posted a journal in a while so I figured I should before I died of an ulcer. I don't think it was the best idea signing up for 4 honors classes at once.

This is the last weekend I have to 15 though so I'm feeling rather nostalgic. Not that I'm really expecting anyone to remember my birthday since I have to like write it all over myself just for me remember it. I'm not having a sweet 16 or anything though...sorry...
I almost like, had a heart attack last night when one of my dude friends showed up at my door at almost 8:00 wanting to hang out. My dad answered the door so...that in itself should explain it...at first when I heard my name I like, randomly dove under my desk to hide...it kind of worries me how spastic I'm getting. That added to the druggie-look isn't doing too much for me. Cyrus keeps telling me I'm going to get ulcers, which of course makes me worry more. T.T' I can't believe Cyrus is taller than my dad now...Jesus, these kids're like weeds...
Anyways, I was wondering if anyone would be able to make it to Dealey for fair day on the 9th. I don't want to be the only one who turns up.
dot dot dot Wake me up the day before September ends
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~haphazardhostile Someone Up There IS Watching After All http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/25864359/ http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/25864359/ Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:27:00 PDT Yeah, night before last we got this call from my grandma at like, 12:30 and I didn't know who it was at the time, so I didn't get up. At least I got to sleep without worry, even though I know that's a horrible thing to say. So yeah, he had a heart attack and they couldn't airlift him to the hospital in iowa-city because it was raining like hell out so they had to put him in an ambulance. Thank god they took him there because if they'd left him to the hospital in my hometown, he wouldn't have made it. That hospital's claimed the lives of both my great grandma and my uncle through heart-related problems so...*long exhail* i just didn't want to say anything until i knew he was alright
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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/25781177/ Mon, 06 Jul 2009 18:40:40 PDT don't read this if you don't want to listen to me complain........shield your eyes and turn the page...
ughhhhhhhhhh..........i'm sick of this.....i just want to hide away and go into hibernation until this is all over with...my friend alex in mad at me...my old boyfriend's mad at me...my mom's mad at me...and all because, for once, i acted selfish and didn't do things to hurt myself just to make other people happy...
my mom wants to move. i don't want to move. my parents NEVER think about US; me and cyrus, and the impact moving all the time has on a person. you know, those 2 years of middle school were the longest i had ever stayed at a school without moving. if i move back to my little hometown, that'll mean 9 different school's and 12 transfers T_T. i was never a strong person to begin with. pretty soon, there won't be anything left for me to peice back together. i'm a completely different person than i was in middle school. everyone just knows me as the quiet little goth chick that sits in the corner of the room and answers all the questions right. so yeah, my mom's always said that wherever she goes, we're coming too. now that i saw my hometown again for the first time in 3 years and didn't like it, i decided that i would honestly lose my effing mind if i moved there. so i told her...that's the closest i've ever come to telling her there's something wrong inside me...and do you know what she told me? you know what the woman who's supposed to stick with me whatever happens and hold my head up through it all said to me saying that i'd really lose my mind if i had to live there in that tiny town?
"i don't care where you decide to go, i just know i'm leaving. i've had enough of this place and if that means going off by myself and leaving you all here with your dad, that's what it's going to take."
my loving mother.
she's never been here for me, now that i come to think of it. she was always away at work and my dad was always shut up in his room sleeping during the day because he had to work a night shift.
.............i can't do this...
and now my friends are mad at me because either i don't like them or i do still have lingering feelings...i mean how was i supposed to react to matt telling me that he was already looking for a new girlfriend and he wanted me to get to work on finding a new boyfriend...? well...he didn't say it exactly like that, but that was the raw reality of it...i guess i could have been a total bitch and asked my friend out since they hate eachother...but i wouldn't do that...T_T...

*sigh* make it stop

]]> ~haphazardhostile Homecoming! Land of Slipknot and Cornfeilds http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/25515202/ http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/25515202/ Wed, 24 Jun 2009 11:10:08 PDT After traveling more than 1400 miles in the past 5 days i'm fucking wiped! And ALLLLL the way i was crammed into the tiny backseat of my dad's car. So yeah.....I visited Iowa, to those who are wondering. That's where i'm from, not that anyone probably cares, but...anyways, i'm back. And i have some bad news to those who know me.
Ummm.......my parents want to move at the end of or near the end of the summer. I don't know where. Either my hometown in Iowa or California. I don't want to be in either of those places personally. After all those years of thinking to myself that Iowa was my home........I've realized that it isn't anymore. As the saying goes, 'Home is where the heart is'. Well those places aren't where my heart's resting, I'll tell you that much. I also want you to know that even if i do end up in one of those places, this place and all of my friends will be my home.
I'll be back, I promise. So long as we're still friends i promise I'll be back.
so anywho, off i go. i'll shut up. right now i'm busy checking out the window every other second because a couple of my guy friends have umm, discovered where i live and they came pounding on my window thursday night and scared the shit out of me. i'm not quite sure what they saw through my window, but i've long since learned to get dressed in the dark so people couldn't spy on me. ummmmmm.......anyways, yeah.....wish me luck
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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/25259301/ Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:26:56 PDT that was one hell of a storm last night! it was right over my city, of all places. those who live in my general area or even my STATE for God's sake probably know what i'm talking about. according to one of the news stations, a tornado actually touched down not too far from where i live. scariest thing ever dudes. all my life i've been a lover of thunder storms. when it's raining at night, i sleep right through the whoooooole thing. never wake up once. last night i woke up like 20 times from all the flashing lights. at one point i heard this crash and i looked out my window and this brach had missed my dad's car out front by like inches. it felt like the world was ending XD

but anyways, school's over and i've been too lazy to write a journal entry on it. what can i say? it went way too fast, i cried my eyes out, and there was nothing i could do about summer coming round. i kind of feel like summer came and sat down on top of my head XD

but if i'm going to be in Honors art 2 next year, i need to work my ass off this summer. i've been slouching off this past year but it's going to change. i'll try to post a new batch of drawings every week..............if i'm not being too lazy to do anything......

but enough of boring you to death.......gracias

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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/24536746/ Fri, 01 May 2009 19:16:29 PDT everyone probably already knows this and all, but what the hey
this is the first year i actually knew the date of it and i'm excited...so, yeah
even though i'm really depressed, like more so than i've been in a very long time.......i'm.....looking forwards to tomarrow..........but not monday

i don't really want to go back to school

oh, on a completely unrelated note, i feel really anorexic.....in the 5th grade when they weighed me, i weighed 120 lbs
last year in the 8th grade when they weighed me........i weighed 120 lbs

T_T now this year when they weighed me, i weighed...........119 lbs

i mean, i'm not complaining, don't get me wrong, but.....i dunno, it's kind of funny in my opinion

oh wow.......i feel high......*faint*
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~haphazardhostile Mcr saves lives http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/24384806/ http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/24384806/ Wed, 22 Apr 2009 20:12:53 PDT

check all that apply to you..........

you know when u r a true MCR fan when:
[x]You can`t think of the word 'cancer' without thinking of Gerard with white hair
[x]Every time you see a flock of doves you instinctively look for a bullet
[x]Orange crayons make you smile or blush
[ ]You walk into a candy store saying 'give me all your poison' and leave saying 'thank you for the venom'(no but I should start)
[x]Your favorite street in the world is Cemetery Drive
[x]You`ve unleashed the fucking bats
[x]You hate Lacrosse players
[x]Mascots make you think of Mikey
[x]The best dance in the world was in the Helena video (Hell yeah...)
[x]Every time you see a man in an army uniform, you think of Mikey again, and cry(

)
[x]You hate Aqua Teen Hunger Force
[x]You scream 'FUCK THE DAILY MAIL' as many times you can when the right time comes
[x]You know forks and toasters don`t mix(

)
[x]You know Afros kick ass!
[x]Cats kick ass
[x]Girls, we all know we`re beautiful, whether we`re a size 18 or 32, as long as you`re a good person
[x]We all know suicide is the bullshit way out
[x]Unicorns are still amazing (tee hee hee...)
[x]If someone asks you for a tit show, you spit in their face and scream FUCK YOU!
[x]You agree, popsicles should be the new black
[x]You want to throw your TV out the hotel window because people treat you like a kid
[x]You rather be a monster of the night then be some old scary dude
[x]You were born to fucking dance

[x]You know hula-hoops are violent (ahahaha.....funny story about that.....)
[x]When you break up with someone, you use the term 'I`m sorry, honey this mirror isn`t big enough for the 2 of us
[x]When someone breaks up with you, you scream 'You didn`t even have the guts to say, I don`t love you like i loved you yesterday'-you bastard!
[x]You scream ' PICK UP THE PHONE FUCKER!' when your friends don`t answer
[x]You know vampires will never hurt you, Gerard promised he wouldn`t let them
[x]You love being the kid in the back wearing too much black and not cool enough to hang out
[x]You won`t go down by yourself, you go down with your friends (

sorry guys...)
[x]You`ll never let them take your heart ( neva............)
[ ]You always wanted to go into the city with your father to see a marching band (fuck no.......not my dad...)
[x]You know the punchline to the joke is asking someone save us? (Feh, what else...?)
[x]You know you are never coming home, never coming home
[x]You answer certain questions 'NO I`M NOT O-FUCKING-KAY!!!!!!!!!!!!'
[x]You gazed into her killing jar
[x]You`ve lost your fear of falling
[x]You know the answer is in spades
[x]The bright lights won`t kill you now or tell you how
[x]You`re gonna go hang out at Desolation Row
[x]You`ve taken drowning lessons (Um......another funny story...........)
[x]You were there on the day they sold the cause for the queen
[x]Then you watched your life on the screen
[x]You`ve already heard the news that you`re dead
[x]You know the Black Parade will live long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you are a TRUE MCR fan, you`ll understand this, and re-post this!

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~haphazardhostile Scream It Loud http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/24152313/ http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/24152313/ Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:18:17 PDT HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR GERARD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

so...........32, yes........i bothered the people at school all day, but........anywho...

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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/24043962/ Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:25:48 PDT and i walk into school in the morning and everyone's crying...
it's like, "why're you guys crying?"
"oh, this kid died..."
a football player died yesterday at practice
i know i should feel sad, but it's just kind of mixed emotions,y'know
everyone's like, i didn't know him so i don't give a shit
and i didn't know him either, but the kid died you know........
and it got me to thinking...if i died in some freak accident, no one at school would cry
only a very few
would zach even care that this chick he'd never even talked to had died
probably not
he was probably one of those stuck up kids who would've rather died than talked to me
but.....i shouldn't say it i shouldn't say i shouldn't say it
no matter how much i think it...
but, i don't know...
if you live in my area you'll probably be able to see it on the news, but.....i dunno...i still feel bad, despite what other people say.....
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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/23957656/ Sun, 29 Mar 2009 19:10:36 PDT

How old are you?
15

[ ] You know how to make a pot of coffee(oh you havn't lived until you've tasted my coffee

...it might burn going down, but........)
[ ] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[ ] You own a credit card
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car
[x] You've done your own laundry
[ ] You can vote in an election
[ ] You can cook for yourself
[ ] You think politics are interesting
TOTAL SO FAR: 1

[ ] You show up for school late a lot
[ ] You always carry a pen/pencil in your bag/purse/pocket
[ ] You've never gotten a detention
[x] You have forgotten your own birthday
[ ] You like to take walks by yourself
[x] You know what credibility means, without looking it up
[x] You drink caffeine at least once a week

TOTAL SO FAR: 4

[x] You know how to do the dishes
[x] You can count to 10 in another language
[ ] When you say you're going to do something you do it
[ ] You can mow the lawn (i don't think what i do to the lawn really counts somehow...)
[ ] You study even when you don't have to
[x] You have hand washed a car before

TOTAL SO FAR: 7

[x] You can spell experience, without looking it up
[ ] The people at Starbucks know your usual
[ ] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[ ] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need
[ ] You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[ ] You can type pretty quickly

TOTAL SO FAR: 8

[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party
[x] You have realized that practically no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay
[x] You have been to the beach
[x] You use the internet every day
[ ] You have been outside of the united states 3 or more times
[ ] You make your bed in the morning
Total: 11
*Repost this with the subject as: I'm (how old you are) but I act (what you got on the test)
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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/23423123/ Thu, 26 Feb 2009 19:52:34 PST

The Rules:
1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 8 things about their self on their journal.
3. At the end, you have to choose and tag 8 people and post their icons on the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.

!. you'd be trying pretty hard to find me in something that's not black
!. dog toys that squeak amaze me
!. i used to pretend i was harry potter
!. i now pretend i'm gerard way (but only when i think no one's looking)
!. my favorite band before i fell in love with my chem was switchfoot
!. i used to hide under my blanket at night because my bed was next to the window and i was afraid of bigfoot
!. Estoy aprendiendo a hablar espanol
!. My dream is to be there when Venice sinks into the ground

People I tag:

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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/23347942/ Sun, 22 Feb 2009 16:37:00 PST Holy puffballs and pocky, I'm back
What was that, like 3, 4 weeks?
This is what I absolutely hate about the internet
The viruses ALWAYS pick on my poor computer
Apperantly it was a 'trojan dropping' virus and I just spent the last 2 hours clearing the harddrive, re-installing windows, and installing all the drivers
Mouthfull, yes, i know
But I did it and it's done and I'm back with tight security settings

And I'm happy to be back

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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/22948768/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 17:14:27 PST

Read it

-When she walks away from you mad - follow her.
-When she stare's at your lips - kiss her.
-When she pushes you or hits you - grab her & dont let go.
-When she starts cursing at you - kiss her & tell her you love her.
-When shes quiet - ask her whatsâ wrongâ
â-When she ignores you - give her your attention.
-When she pulls away - pull her back.
-When you see her at her worst - tell her shes beautâiful.
-When you see her start crying - just hold her & dont say a word.
-When you see her walking - sneak up & hug her waist from behind.
-When shes scared - protect her
-When she lays her head on your shoulder - tilt her head up & kiss her.
-When she steals your favorite hat - let her keep it & sleep with it for a night
-When she teases you - tease her back & make her laughâ
-When she doesnt answer for a long time - reassure everyâthing is okay
-When she looks at you with doubtâ - back yourself up with the truthâ.
-When she says that she likes you - she really does,â more than you can understandâ.
-When she grabs at your handsâ - hold her and play with her fingers.
-When she bumps into you - bump into her back and make her laughâ
-When she tells you a secret - keep it safe
-When she looks at you in your eyes - don't look away until she does
-WHEN SHE MISSES YOU - SHES HURTING INSIDE
-When you break her heartâ - the pain NEVER really goes away
-When she says its over - she STILL wants you to be hers
-When she repost this bulletin - she wants you to read it
-Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
-DON'T let her have the last word.
-NEVER call her hot. Gorgeous or beautiful is soo much better.
-Say you love her more than she could ever love you
-Argue that she is the best girl ever
-When shes mad hug her tightâ and dont let go
-When she says shes ok dont believe it
-Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
-Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
-Treat her like shes all that matters to you.
-Let her know shes important.
-When she runs up at you crying,â the firstâ thingâ you say is;
"âWho'âs butt am I kickiâng todayâ,â baby?â"â

If you do post this in the next four minutâes the one you love will:â
Call you
Kiss you
Love you
Text you
Guys post as: "I'd be this boy frâiend"â
Girlsâ post as: "âBoy friend guide"
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~haphazardhostile I mean hey, i like poles http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/22458900/ http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/22458900/ Wed, 07 Jan 2009 18:53:46 PST Clears Throat<
Ahem, this calls for my now annual, spider-man/X-men bout. This link is the previous
one where, of course, x-men won (even though spider-man 3 had just come out, i must add)

[link]

So........anyone care to join me in proving that spider-man is just as gay as he looks?
yes, no.............yes?
because, APPERANTLY, a certain PERSON never got fucking over the fact that X-men beat the stupid bug-dude
and i might add that, even though i've been trying to remember to brag for the last year and a half or so, that gaara did in fact beat sasuke in the end, did he not?
he, beat you there too
so come on, people
we know X-men's better

No pressure or anything

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~haphazardhostile Just A Little Unwell http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/22312923/ http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/22312923/ Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:56:31 PST and also a hearty happy birthday wish to bob bryar and an early one to

ahhhhhhh.............i'm gonna cry. i keep trying to convince myself that this new year's gonna be better, but.........>sniff
i feel like i'm going crazy. my parents are talking about moving again, and even though i knew it was coming, i DON'T EFFING WANT TO MOVE AGAIN. i'm so sick of it. this last house i lived in was the longest i'd ever stayed anywhere by FAR. 5 years......5 times longer than anywhere else.......and even though i was switching schools the whole time, it was okay, because that was my HOUSE. that was where i LIVED. but it wasn't home, never home. home was always back where i came from. in iowa. where my family was. but after a while......it got so i didn't hardly even remember where i was from, so even home wasn't home anymore. so i tried to find a home somewhere else. at first it was in my own head. but that didn't work, especially not when i started falling apart in the 6th grade. it was more like i was trapped in my own head.
and then i met you guys in middle school and i found a home in YOU guys.
and now i'm starting to realize that even if somehow we DO manage to stay together, it won't be for quite a few years that we can be reunited . and yes, i know i sound emo, but.......i just wanted to say thank you.
thank you for everything and i wish i was there with you, right now, to rock out the new year with you guys.
and thanks to my deviant friends for giving me online friendships all over the world and the support i needed for my art to continue.
you guys mean the world to me
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Don't get drunk

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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/22187681/ Thu, 25 Dec 2008 10:26:50 PST

's journal
1. Type in "[your name] needs" in Google search:
Jasmine needs a home
2.Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:
Jasmine looks like a drinker o_O
3.Type in "[your name] likes" in Google search:
Jasmine likes to see red

4. Type in "[your name] says" in Google search:
Jasmine says 'YES' to glamour roles (wtf?)
5.Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:
Jasmine wants him exclusive

6.Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:
Jasmnie does the Naked News O_o

7.Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:
Jasmine hates Aladdin T_T(.......him again..........)
8.Type in "[your name] can" in Google search:
Jasmine can be downright confusing

9.Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search:
Jasmine goes to grandmas So Truely Real (what the hell is that?)
10.Type in"[your name] is" in Google search:
Jasmine is widely cultivated for its flowers, enjoyed in the garden, as house plants, and as cut flowers.

11.Type in "[your name] loves" in google search:
Jasmine loves it when a man (and it cut off there..............i didn't dare open the page with my parents here o_o)

oh and um, if anyone wants to look up my gaia account even though i'm still grounded it's: TwistedFearless

gracias

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~haphazardhostile Triple Threat http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/22172348/ http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/22172348/ Wed, 24 Dec 2008 17:20:28 PST i-hate-my-life
i'm sick of it
it's christmas break, right?
not for me
for one, i'm sick....again. i was already sick all through thanksgiving break, and now this
two, i'm grounded. no matter how hard i try to keep my grades up, there's always some asshole teacher that hates me. my spanish teacher in this case.
and three, on top of all the rest of my misery, i now have complete cramps from fucking hell.
Joy.
Just joy.
and to the certain person who called me, you are not forgotten, i promise. i only figured it out yesterday when adam was messing around with the answering machine. it was buried in the midst of some of the most random junk i've ever heard. i'm going to try to call you tomarrow, but.........we'll see how that goesT_T
The one good thing about this is that we didn't go on vacation. why you ask? because at least 5 people have apperantly died on the interstate in the last couple of days T_T
so.......i hope you're having a good break......i've enjoyed my before-christmas treat of finally being able to get back online
for a few minutes, and..................well, merry christmas and a happy new year i guess..........whooooo 2009......i think.....

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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/22016204/ Tue, 16 Dec 2008 13:51:36 PST Yeah, anybody else read Dallas issue 1 yet? If not then i feel like a complete freak saying that........
But anywho's.........Somebody, either on Earth or bound to Heaven, wants me effing dead......i'm serious.......i wake up from a chain of bizzaro dreams and everything outside's
iced over. It's like, okies, I'm cool with that. So my dad's driving me to school and we go to make a turn onto the main road, and the car slid through the ice and smashed into the curb. thank god we were really close to the 7-11 that's next to my school. So we pull in there (which was quite a challenge) to see how bad it was and the tire's been busted, the hubcap's hanging off, and the thingamajig's all bent off in the wrong direction. it's like, "here, jasmine, you just go off to school and i'll take care of it." of course, if i was anyone else, the 3 minute walk to would've been uneventful. but, noooooooo.......i'm crossing the street.....and i almost slip.....in the middle of the street........so, okay, i'm still alive, and i walk in the grass all the way till i get to the school parking lot (i'd actually slipped this time trying to walk on the sidewalk) and while i'm trying to get across the parking lot......i fell.....in front of a car.......who fortunately stopped

just in time to get to school to take my multimedia exam

and walk home afterwards

but anyways............i had a fun day, fun fun
so......so yeah......and the thing that really bugs me is......how come when i couldn't care less whether i lived or died, NOTHING HAPPENED
but now that i have reasons to be here, EVERYONE'S OUT TO GET ME
Does life make sense to you?
At all?
Even a tiny bit?
Yes?
No?
urgh.......>sigh<, so, anyone else taking exams?

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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/21668988/ Tue, 25 Nov 2008 18:02:33 PST sick of hearing about Lyn-z by now, but holy fucking shit...........a damn lucky kid that's gonna be.
And a hearty "get well soon" to the kid who got hit twice yesterday crossing the street that i cross everyday. spare me a prayer or a kindly word, 'cuz i've nearly been killed several times crossing that damn street. i've got things to do in life other than laying underground in a coffin looking like roadkill. so, even though he'll never read this, "Get well soon, dude who's name i can't spell that's in my algebra class!"

And hope i ain't next
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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/21410095/ Sun, 09 Nov 2008 18:10:12 PST

stated our plan just as well as i could if not better. The link to her journal is [link]
so go check it out and treat as if i had typed it. it's for a good cause and we really need members. so please, um...help. it's an idea i've kept at bay for the last 3 years that i'm finally getting started. it means alot to me. so even if you think it's dumb...i beg you to play along and contribute. i'm leaving tomarrow after school, and i won't be back on until probably next weekend. so thanks.
and be good while i'm gone

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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/21394409/ Sat, 08 Nov 2008 19:46:14 PST what am i supposed to do? i haven't been to a funeral in years, mainly, not because no one's died, but because there was just no way we could get up there everytime someone died. i haven't seen my family or even talked to them since before i started middle school. what the hell.....? And why...? Why does this stuff keep happening? it's all ready hard enough without having to miss a week full of tests, being across the country, worrying about a funeral and.......everything else...i swear if you hear on the news about a kid exploding, it'll be me.
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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/20763078/ Sun, 05 Oct 2008 17:19:46 PDT sigh
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~haphazardhostile someone up there must hate me http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/20474997/ http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/20474997/ Fri, 19 Sep 2008 20:47:59 PDT i appologize for not logging on, it was really rather impossible during the move. why can't this be like billiards? the number 8's supposed to be lucky. and yet..........this 8th school is turning out about as bad as my 6th grade school(which i consider to be the worst time of my life). i almost got hit by a speeding car crossing the street by my school the other day. it's my fault for not paying attention. it was raining out and this a-hole's going at 45mph in a school zone. stuff at home's worse than ever, and that's saying something. you know really my only consolation is that i have my own room now for the first time in my life.

but enough of my mindless rambling, what's up with you all? i'm sorry i haven't called anyone yet or anything but on top of everything else i'm swamped with school work. i miss you guys. seriously you don't know how hard it was to let go of my spot at booker t........damn it, i worked so hard on my art to get in there. and i'm stuck in this place. someone up there must hate me.
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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/19868250/ Sat, 09 Aug 2008 19:46:24 PDT

's journal

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game, post your own

1. Prison gates won't open up for me

2. This is the clock upon the wall
3.Coming out of my cage and i've been doing just fine

4. Welcome to the planet, welcome to existence

5. The stars will cry the blackest tears tonight
6.Chest thrown and tables toppled

7. Oh where, oh where can my baby be?
8. Cut my life into peices

9. Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor

10. Last day of the rest of my life
11. Well they encourage your complete cooperation

12. I am the mastermind, leaving you all behind, and that ain't no fucking lie

13. I'm feeling rough, i'm feeling raw in the time of my life
14. Sun falls slowly, all the lonely
15. I've been sitting here trying to find myself
16. We all have a weakness but some of ours are easy to identify
17. City's breaking down on a camel's back.
18. You lived a time of lies until you told me everything
19. When I was a young boy

20. Once there was this kid who got into an accident and couldn't come to school
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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/19795949/ Tue, 05 Aug 2008 18:26:30 PDT [] You're born in April
[] You've been addicted to alcohol and/or
[1/4] You're a born leader(i lead myself)
[x] You love drawing and You do it well
[x] You love singing(........shutup)
[] You're afraid of needles
[] You call Your friends with their last names instead of their first names
[x] You've got siblings and You love them(.......well, i love one of themXD)
[] You've set up your own band.
[x] You don't play guitar well.
[x] You're writing songs.
TOTAL: 5 1/4 out of 11

RAY:
[] You're born in July
[] You play the guitar
[x] You've got a scar on Your head
[] You can't swim
[] You've got full lips
[] You've got FRO!!!
[] You're 6'1"
[x] You're shy
[] You wear contact lenses
[] You're called Mastermind
[x] People do/used to laugh at You...
TOTAL: 3 out of 11

MIKEY:
[x] You're born in September
[] You play bass(........not yet, BUT I WILL DAMMIT. I'll make THIS instrument work for me)
[x] You've got asthma
[] You're short-sighted
[] You wear glasses
[x] You feel an urge to stuck a fork into a toaster
[x] You were diagnosed with depression.(it was self-diagnosed)
[x] You're capable of quitting school to follow your dream.
[] You're loved by your siblings.
[x?] You've got cool sense of humor.
[x] You weren't going out when You were a child.
TOTAL:7out of 11

FRANK:
[] You're born in October
[] You rattle (not PLAY) on Your guitar
[] You're 5'4"
[] You love s and
[] You're younger than all Your friends.
[x] You're doing lot's of things at the same time.
[] Your parents are divorced.(God i wish)
[] You're singing is as well as you play guitar.
[x] You truly love Halloween.
[] You're "anti-computer".
[] You're unbelievably honest.
TOTAL: 2 out of11

BOB:
[] You're born in December
[1/2] You don't talk much(depends......)
[x] You're born in a different part of the country, according to Your friends
[x] You hate people filming You
[x] You prefer cats to dogs
[] You play drums(......dumped that dream.......)
[] You're using your talent(s) at school.
[x] You're quite unlucky and get hurt easily.
[] You don't mind working hard.
[x] You influence your friends.(......well i hope so....)
[] Your jokes are usually treated seriously.
TOTAL: 5 out of 11

Gerard - 5 1/4
Ray - 3
Mikey - 7
Frank - 2
Bob - 5

GO MIKEY!!!............damn..........i wanted to be gerard..........oh well>shrug<..........

1. How did you first discover My Chemical Romance?
on one of those screen things at Target

2. What's your favourite My Chemical Romance song and do you have a reason why?
Welcome to the Black Parade
Because you could live a whole life by that song

3. Who would you rather be.....
The Cheerleader in the 'Im not okay' video
Helena from 'Helena'
..a teenager from 'Teenagers'
..A soldier in the Black Parade??
A SOLDIER!!!!!!

4. Apart from the band itself has My Chemical Romance brought anything else into your life?
dreams to accomplish, something to do with my spare time, and a reason to keep going

5. How Crazy are you for MCR?? Did you do anything for MCR day?? do you celebrate their birthdays?
....i think my attitude twards them comes across as worship, but.....................i just admire them at a very high level because i can relate to them so much..........yes i secretly celebrate their birthdays and when i'm in school i make sure everyone else knows it's their birthday...............but fuck i didn't even know there was an mcr day..........someone please tell me when that is

6. If you had the chance to meet only one member of the band and had time to say only one thing to them what would it be?
..........that was kind of a secret but i would either just tell them 'thank you' or.............like i said, the other's a secret

8. We all know that Gee has had it rough before and made some bad choices, do you think that his recent marriage is one of those bad decisions? if so why?
no I don't

9. MCR have gone through a few style overhauls over the past few years, are we preferring...
...Bullets MCR
...Revenge MCR
...Black Parade (blonde gee) MCR
..or MCR as they are now?
i personally liked the black parade best........but i love them all

10. Because it's the last question and because we all have pulses i'm gonna ask it..who is your favourite member of MCR? i said favourite but i totally meant hottest
..............................isn't it obvious?

and...............................where's question #7????????
----------------------... ]]> ~haphazardhostile ::I'm not suicidal! MCR save lives!:: http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/19342254/ http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/19342254/ Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:29:15 PDT

Rules:

* 1. Post these rules.
* 2. Each tagged person must post 8 things about themselves on their journal.
* 3. At the end, you have to choose and tag 8 people and post their icons on the same journal.
* 4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
* 5. No tag-backs

.........um.......i don't even really know myself very well, but here goes....

1).......um.....i'm an artist(no duh, right?)
2).......I think mcr's the most f*cking awesome band in the whole f*cking history of the whole f*cking world.....
3).......i have purple highlights.....
4).......i consider gerard way to be an angel from below.......
5).......i like leather.....and tight fitting clothes......
6).......i collect objects that advertise my insanity......
7).......if i was allowed to i would give myself a new peircing everyday.....i just gave myself a new one the other day.....

8)i just dripped pizza sauce all over my new black pants XD...........um, no.....i'm afraid of being the same as someone else.......

and..........that's it........

People i tagged:

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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/18715087/ Sat, 07 Jun 2008 13:49:00 PDT
R.I.P.

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http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/18580353/ Fri, 30 May 2008 16:43:54 PDT
Taken from:

's journal

Also remember that this is just a small section of our discrimination problems. Think of all of the steriotypical wounds that have been inflicted and just remember next time not to judge. I know we're not perfect, but we can sure as hell try to be...
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Please, repost this in support of your friends and loved ones who are. Love is not defined by color, creed, sexual preference, or gender. Feel free to add your own story to the end.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the one working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am a warrior for my country serving proud, but can't be my true self because gays aren't allowed in the military.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the who isn't sure what she is. I am the who is rejected by her "best friends" because of a less-than-conventional crush.

I am what I am and I don't know who because I am always thinking about what other people will make of me. Who am I? Not boy not girl, just me and little people care about who you are and what you long for when you look like someone else obviously and your wishes and dreams seem easily to be guessed. Fail.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson."

This is the boy, Matthew Shepard. On October 7, 1998 Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson lead him to a remote area east of Laramie where they demonstrated unimaginable acts of brutality . Matthew was tied to a split-rail fence where he was beaten and left to die in the cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later he was found by a cyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow. Matthew died on October 12 at 12:53 am at a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. MURDERED BECAUSE HE WAS GAY!!!

IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA... ]]> ~haphazardhostile ummm...damn quiz makes me feel emo http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/18152863/ http://haphazardhostile.deviantart.com/journal/18152863/ Sat, 03 May 2008 17:41:23 PDT For your every 'no' answer, add 1 to your score.

1. Do you feel guilty if you cry in public? yes
2. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness? no
3. Do you think men and boys should be encouraged to hide their tears? no
4. Do you feel embarrassed if you find yourself crying while watching a film or reading a book? yes
5. Would you try to hold back your tears if you were attending a funeral? yes
6. Would you distrust a politician who shed tears in public? yes
7. Do you think that tears are an unnecessary expression of emotion? no
8. Do you always try to hide your disappointment? yes
9. Do you get embarrassed if you see grown men crying? no
10. Would you pretend that you had something in your eyes if you were unexpectedly discovered crying? yes
11. Do you always try to hide your anger? no
For your every 'yes' answer, add 1 to your score
12. Do you tend to brood about things which make you angry?yes
13. Does your temper even get out of control? yes
14. Has your temper even got you in trouble?yes
15. Do you believe that it does you good to get rid of your anger? no
16. Would you allow someone to comfort you if you were crying? no
17. Do you get cross quite easily? yes
18. Do you touch someone you love at least once a day? yes
19. Do you enjoy physical signs of affection? yes
20. Do you ever get broody when you see small babies? no
21. Would you happily hold hands in public with someone you cared for? yes
22. Do you enjoy being massaged? umm...?
23. Do you regularly tell those whom you love how you feel? no
24. Have you ever had a pet of which you were very fond? yes
25. Do you enjoy being kissed and hugged by people you love? depends
26. Do you ever laugh out loud when you are watching funny films? yes
27. Do you ever tap your feet while listening to Music? yes
28. Do you often have the last clap at concerts, sports events and the like? yes
29. Do you ever shout encouragement to sports or TV heroes? yes
30. Can you remember when you last really laughed and enjoyed yourself?...
Analysis

Score 17 to 30
Your attitude towards your emotions is a healthy one. You aren't ashamed to let your emotions show occasionally, and you will undoubtedly be much healthier because of this attitude. You are likely to be a good social advisor.

Score 8 to 16
You know how to let your emotions show but you still find it difficult to do so as often as you should. You should be prepared to let your emotions out more often. When you feel sad let yourself cry, when you feel angry, let your anger show, when you feel happy allow a smile to cross your face. Allowing your emotions out in this way will do wonders to your physical and mental health.

Score 7 or less
You are definitely very uptight. You really do need to allow your emotions flow out a little. There isn't any thing really wrong in allowing people to know how you feel.

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