http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:heliums&section=today deviantART RSS for by:heliums en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 11:21:53 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/27914642/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/27914642/ Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:59:06 PDT
I LOVE COOKIE DOUGH.

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/20299834/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/20299834/ Tue, 02 Sep 2008 22:48:46 PDT
I recently went through and cleaned out my gallery a lot so if it showed up in your message archive, sorry about that. >_>;

I love you guys. And girls.

MAINLY GIRLS.

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/15411125/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/15411125/ Wed, 07 Nov 2007 18:28:33 PST
For a while now, I've been washing my own clothes. Giving my mommy a break while she's sick. Up until not long ago, I have NEVER did a load of laundry, really. Before you scream like a crazy white girl, I'm not a dirty person. I always take showers and use soapies, and shampoo-ie and condition-ie. and, and, and, and - I'm quite meticulous about my clothes, and they never get dirty - no ketchup stains, no hot dog chunks. (Ew, hot dogs.)
How do I keep my clothes from shrinking, so I can freely wash it?
and not have to worry about only being able to wear it twice before it becomes too small for me?

Fucking conspiracy. This shit is shittiest type of bull shit EVER!!! D:
The government is shrinking my clothes when I blink, that way I'll be nude and vulnerable for all sorts of sexual acts. T_T?!?!

I'll show them. NO MORE BLINKING.
EVAARRRRRRRRRRRRR.



]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14715448/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14715448/ Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:48:08 PDT why is my geniosity (yes, it's a word) is being wasted!
I got my license today. Yet I have no car. I have no money to buy a car, because I have no job. I have no job because no one will hire me. No one will hire me because I have no work experience..THUS, bringing me back on the chain of life to "Squat."

I'm beginning to believe donuts have holes in them so we can look through them and see the "truth" in the world.

No, just kidding. But it sounded good - right?
I am going to go use my "geniosity" to create something to eat with salsa, green beans, and some old hamburger buns..WISH ME LUCK!

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14366983/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14366983/ Mon, 27 Aug 2007 15:14:18 PDT
I ask my parents to sign papers for school, I GET BITCHED AT.
I ask my dad to take me to apply at 10 different jobs SO I DON'T HAVE TO RELY ON HIM, and the only reason I can't drive myself IS BECAUSE HIM AND MY MOM ARE TOO SORRY TO TAKE ME PRACTICING.

I'm doing home work in the kitchen table, it's the only place I can sit down and study/get shit done. THIS IS DANGEROUS GROUND. See, in my room.. My mom's too lazy to come back and yell at me, BUT OH NO. In the kitchen.. There is NOT 5 MINUTES of ANYONE leaving me the fuck alone. "take out the trash" "wash the dishes"

And don't get me started on my "chores". I'm hardly EVER home, I'm at my girlfriends. WHEN I DO COME HOME - the one day out of the week, I'm forced to take out 4 bags of trash that is built up to the sky, and then wash dishes that are crusted to hell and back - BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO FUCKING PATHETIC TO DO IT THEMSELVES, they let it build up and wait for ME. I'm not the one that made the god damn mess!

My grandma has a tumor and my grandpa is gone.

All the females in my life seem to let abusive/cheating/douche bag men back into their lives. Women are the scum of the earth. Get a back bone. You could do fucking better.

School stresses me out and I have to hide in the bathroom stalls to catch my breathe. I can't explain it, my lungs will just.. get really deep and I can't breathe. I know it sounds over dramatic. Maybe it is. But I don't care.

Why does everyone else have it easier than me?

Why do I compare my life to everyone else?

I've never.. like, thought about COMMITTING suicide. nothing about trying to plan it. But I've thought.. "Man, this would sure show them..."
I'm sick of being treated like shit. Anyone know a better way to get people to care about me/miss me without killing myself? That'd be nice.

Maybe I'm taking everyone else for granted,
Maybe it's normal to feel this way.

I have an amazing girlfriend, good friends, a mom. and a dad. Why am I bitching?

I don't know. Even with all those things, I find myself really sad.

EDIT: I was thinking about this a lot today,
"Success is more controversial than love.
But, we love what we succeed at."

Don't ask

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14141431/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14141431/ Sun, 12 Aug 2007 23:31:49 PDT I am.. Comfortable with my sexuality
I am... In love <3
I am... open minded
I am.. political
I am... hot-headed
I am... outgoing
I am.. opinionated
I am.. a pet lover!
and a people lover
I am... silly
I am... a thinker
I am... myself ^_^

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14140025/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14140025/ Sun, 12 Aug 2007 21:19:08 PDT
I cleaned my room and got my new cat. Anyone have name suggestions for me? I'd love you. until.. a while. Yeah.
I'll have pictures up of him soon if anyone's interested. ^_^ And yes, he's yellow, and yes I dyed him, and no I'm not a horrible person. The dye is 100% all natural nontoxic and he didn't mind it. Sooo ! He's my cute little half chicken/half cat.. kitty. 8'D

Why do people suck so bad? I want a DOOR. and a LOCK. I'm sick of people using my shit as they please, and stealing what the fuck ever they want. I'm also sick of my sisters little dicked boyfriend shit head looking up porn on my computer. =^______^= -EXPLODES-

Anyways.. I love Kat Von D.. and scratch boards. and sleep.

tootles for now.

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14096868/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14096868/ Thu, 09 Aug 2007 21:00:06 PDT
"I Want You... Dead"

Goddamn here we go, off to the graveyard, go, go, go
Give 'em to me decayed, give 'em to me anyway
I don't care 'cause you know I only want you

Dead, dead, dead
You know I want you
Dead, dead, dead
You know I want you

Crawling from your grave, calling out my name
Begging for my brains saying, hey, hey, hey
I want you to take my hand and tell me I'm your man
And I only want you dead

Hey ho, let's go to hell, I've got a room reserved
And I'll see you there, make me die slowly, butcher me and hold me
I don't care 'cause you know I only want you

Dead, dead, dead
You know I want you
Dead, dead, dead
You know I want you

Crawling from your grave, calling out my name
Begging for my brains saying, hey, hey, hey
I want you to take my hand and tell me I'm your man
And I only want you dead

Fuck yeah, it's understood, necro-feelin' great, necro-feelin' good
Give 'em to me decayed, give 'em to me anyway
I don't care 'cause you know I only want you

Dead, dead, dead
You know I want you
Dead, dead, dead
You know I want you

Crawling from your grave, calling out my name
Begging for my brains saying, hey, hey, hey
I want you to take my hand and tell me I'm your man
And I only want you dead


]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14050398/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14050398/ Mon, 06 Aug 2007 20:55:07 PDT Oleander-Tea, ~Roo-kie or ~balloons did.

Well. Yes. Today was my birthday. I got a lot of moolah. hahahah
I'll start from beginning to end..
We left for the bowling Alley around 3 PM. We got there bowled for 2 hours. It was a lot of fun. We played the arcade games also. I got the worst score and ~balloons got the best, but whatever, I was smexy so is'all good. ;O
We left bowling and drove to the mall, we browsed bath and body works and tried all the samples. XD I smelled like a whore.. but okay
Then we proceeded to the dollar tree where we bought party hats, plates, cups, a picnic sheet, sunny delight, crackers and oreos. XD We went and sat in the grass by the mall and had a picnic. hahahahah

After the picnic we bought some bubbles and blew bubbles in front of the mall for a good hour. (We got some really awesome stuff to submit, so keep your eyes peeled for hawtness. ;O

After the bubbles we drove back the bowling alley and a few of the people left.. it was just me and the deviants mentioned at the top left. XD

then we went back to ~Roo-kie's house and hung out and watched silent hill. fun fun ^^

in the end it's me and ~balloons at my house, we left ~Roo-kie so she could finish harry potter. D read it bish! and heather feather just fails @ life. :[! anywaysss.. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday, i wish more of my friends could have came davy/tony etc. but it's all good.

What I'm getting at here.. I had a very good birthday.

I swear I'm forgetting something so this journal will probably be edited later lol.

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14020928/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/14020928/ Sat, 04 Aug 2007 21:20:33 PDT So my birthday is in 2 days!!!

Yay for me.
Me and Kelli dyed/cut our hair, hers is blonde/to her neck mine is black/red bangs to my ears. o_o; Very big changes for both of us.. lol

We also took more pictures so I'll have some smexy deviations up soon...
I am feeling very artsy fartsy YaRr! So expect new stuffs from me. ^_~!!

I shopped like a woman today.
Went to walmart, twice.
The mall, twice.
and then mcdonalds and other places XD! yep.

Amanda accidentally blurted my surprise birthday party details -whinessss- D;<

_{k so I'm rambling.. byesh ^_^;}

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/13979312/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/13979312/ Wed, 01 Aug 2007 23:49:08 PDT

wtfomghaelpplzx.

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/13877964/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/13877964/ Wed, 25 Jul 2007 18:16:41 PDT I need stability.
I want happiness.
I need to relax.

_{Stolen from Shammen.}

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/13364084/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/13364084/ Sat, 16 Jun 2007 02:53:52 PDT
Howdy 8D







<sub>I'm back.








FOR NOW.
You all still loves me... right?</sub>

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/12199378/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/12199378/ Thu, 15 Mar 2007 20:44:38 PDT
Hmm... Let's see. I've been really busy with school. Last 6 weeks I made A, B honor roll - Lol. Which is a big deal for me. D= Don't ridicule me with your silly 4.0 GPA's!

I've been getting along with my mom... Got a social life. I s'pose I can't bish about much.

I'll find something.

My dad.
I don't have a fucking dad. So I'm going to whine about the past with my dad. And possibly get some advice...

My parents got divorced whenever I was about.. 8? I'm not sure why but after they got divorced I got really insecure, a lot more shy, and started eating more. (SHUT UP!) I guess not all of that is a result of them getting divorced.. But it's just kinda ironic how big a turn my life took. Don't have fucking kids if you're gonna cheat on each other. Which is what my parents did. Started out my dad cheating on my mom and then my mom cheated for 'revenge.' Which was dumb on her part. But whatever.. I love my mom.
On top of that my dad drunk, like.. Not just 'OMGAH I GOT DRUNK AT THAT PARTY A LONG TIME AGO' kinda drunk.. More like, 'wow , he's ALWAYS drunk/drinking.'

And when he got drunk he'd beat my mom around and when I would yell at him he'd start on me. "Toughing me up" lol. Fucking please. You can knock around/bruise up/make an EIGHT year old cry. You're a man? I'm more a man than you'll EVER be.

Moving along, my mom kicked him out. (I can't blame her. I was relieved. He was gone. But for some reason, it hurt me a lot. I don't think I loved him.. I still don't think I do. I'm not too sure. I sometimes think I am SUPPOSED to love him. I wish I had a good relationship with my dad. I wish he wasn't such a fucking pussy. I wish he would've hugged me once, or at least told me he loved me and meant it. Or maybe taught me how to shave, or gave me advice on women? ANYTHING? I had to learn everything on my own. I'm still light years behind the guys out there with father figures.

God I keep getting off track.

Well, anyways, they got divorced and it -- Let's just say it had a toll on me. For the next FOUR years of my life. 8~12ish. I didn't see my dad. He moved to Michigan and paid child support. His chump money to keep me off his back. After that, for some reason, the court suggested I visit him. So I went to Michigan and visited him. It wasn't pure hell considering I love my family on my dads side. =/ But when I look at all of the pictures from that point of time, the pictures with me and my dad- I look MAD. 'I wish you'd die' kind of mad. >_<

After a few more years when I turned 13 my dad moved down to Florida. "For me". He says.. I think, "Wow, maybe I'll have a relationship with him. Maybe I'll have a dad. To my dismay, I go months without seeing him. He only calls to bitch me out about what a hassle I am, or to keep tabs on how much of his food I eat, or what part of his house I mess up. I'd walk to his house after school while he was still at work and mom would pick me up before he even saw me. We did this for a while until I got sick of him keeping tabs on every dime he spends on me. I'm not comfortable around him. I went a few more months/years ignoring my dad and holding resentment for him. Until recently I guess I finally convinced my self writing him a long email telling him what a 'fuck-up' he is as a father was a bad idea. I thought I'd give it another go, I'd try to see if my dad wanted a son for once. I went over to his more, talked to him more. Kept getting blown off. I called him from school twice when the temperature was around 90 degrees Fahrenheit and asked for a ride from his work to the school to his house. (All of them about 1 mile within' each other)... Wanna hear the response I got? "I'm busy *click*"

I can't rely on my dad. I've come to accept this. I just wish I knew whether to give up, keep trying, let him know how much of a fuck up he is.. or what. Maybe I'll "understand why he did what he did" when I 'grow up'. But frankly, I don't see it happening. It hurts a lot to think about, I can think about my options for months and not make a choice. Is it wrong to hate your own parents? =x

I guess if I ever learned anything from my father, it's to never be the type of father he is.


-----
Okay I had to get that off my chest.. I feel better. I might draw something. I'm uhh, not writing poetry. It makes me sick to read. I'm not feeling too good for some reason. Dummo show is tomorrow. Friends, yay... Yay, right? I think.... I don't know. I'm gonna go.. be optimistic ?

-Jimmy. Over and OUT SHY FOX 38

PS: I love Kool Aid.
PPS: The Hush Sounds singers have... ]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/11238058/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/11238058/ Fri, 29 Dec 2006 20:47:54 PST
I haven't been on much. The truth is, deviantart is kind've nostalgic for me. In a sense that when I'm on, I feel like vomitting. I'm not quite sure why. It sucks because I love art....

Oh well, can't be helped. I forced myself to make a journal just so everyone knows I'm alive. Because you all care, right?


Well, I got a new laptop. It costed 660 dollars. Anyone who knows me knows I've been saving forever. I'm reallyreallyreally happy with it. ^^ I had an amazing Christmas and an even more amazing Christmas break. It reminded me how much I'm looking foreward to spending the rest of my life with Amanda. I really was made to be a father. >___> Because I want kids...like ...NAO. Except not. I have a lot to do before kids. But whatever.

Omgeeeeeeeeee. My laptop can play DVD's. how nifty. I just noticed. Ahhhhhza. I am not looking foreward to school. o_o

Gifts I got:
Stereo system/CD player.
200 dollars.
250 dollars.
75 dollars. (Bought a laptop)
Sharpieesss.
CLOTHES.
Candy. (God, I don't need any. xD -goes on a diet <_____<
and auburn hair dye!

I got Amanda her ears pierced, and a shirt. (Silk, tank top with skulls on it.) and a fuzzy green blankey. ^_^
I got Lauren a black mermaid barbie and rainbow bracelets.
I got Heather a Pirate Sweatshirt.
I got my dad a wallet.
My mom jewelry. My sister candles.
I got Dustin and Mike some candy. XD

That's 'bout it. I made out like a bandit, lemme tell ya. D:<

I'ma go pirate music...

Much love,
-Jimmy, whom apparently, is very boring.

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10984198/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10984198/ Thu, 07 Dec 2006 13:47:35 PST
I feel really bad for not using the subscription that =balloons gave to me. But oh well. She loves me anyways.


I'm doing really well in school, I'm really proud of myself. I want to make something out of my life and knowledge is a part of it. (Money is nice too XD)

I'm pretty stoked about Christmas. It's such a happy time. :B

WHICH REMINDS ME! Happy Holidays everyone.

Probably going to play video games with Lauren/Amanda this weekend... I think James wanted to do something too. Aside from that, I'll be studying mucho ass off. YaY for exams.



I painted "Sparking imagination" by =balloons. It's no where near as good as the manip but it turned out really nice. ^_^ I might upload it.



The White stripes gives 'good' music hope.

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10672225/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10672225/ Thu, 09 Nov 2006 18:35:56 PST Rats are highly intelligent, social animals, and although they enjoy the companionship of humans, they thrive in - and need - the company of their own species. Although they will usually survive if kept as single pets, pet care is not just a matter of keeping animals alive; rats will have happier and more interesting lives when kept with other rats. Rats should never live alone, and ideally should be kept in groups of two or more of the same sex. It is unfair to deprive any social animal of the company of its own species. Rats enjoy grooming each other, curling up to sleep together, and sometimes even fighting. It is usual for rats to scrap occasionally, especially when they are 'teenagers' between 3 and 6 months old; do not worry about this unless you see serious injuries, as the rats are just establishing a pecking order.

No matter how much time you can spend with your rat, you will never be able to replace the attentions of his own species. A rat's most active time is in the middle if the night, when most rat owners are unlikely to be able to provide their pet with companionship. One fear expressed by potential rat-owners is that if they get more than one rat, the animals will bond together and be less tame as a result. The opposite is usually the case, as solitary rats can easily become clingy, introverted and neurotic. Rats kept in pairs or groups are happier, more confident, and no more difficult to tame. If you want proof of this, go to a rat show or visit someone who keeps a group of rats as pets. You will be able to meet plenty of extrovert, confident rats and their ratty friends. We are not aware of any sound argument for keeping rats alone, but there are many good reasons to let them live in single-sex pairs or groups: two rats are as easy to look after as one, a cage that is big enough for one rat is big enough for a pair, two rats are much happier and live longer than single rats --and they're many times more interesting to watch! Do not worry about a pair of rats producing unwanted babies - rats should be kept in single-sex groups to avoid this, and it is very easy to tell the difference between males and females with a little experience.

It is possible to sex baby rats from birth with practise, and it is hard to confuse does and bucks from four weeks onwards, as by this age the male's testicles have dropped and are clearly apparent. While baby rats are weaned before five weeks of age, they should not leave their same-sex littermates until they are at least six weeks old. Any pet shop or breeder who claims that their baby rats cannot be definitely sexed yet is either selling them far too young, and does not have the animals' best interests at heart, or they know very little about rats. Either way, they should be avoided at all costs.

Wow, I feel like shit. I'm getting another rat from Amanda. One of Smokey's sisters. I don't care if I have to clean the cage twice as much, it'd make her happier.

We have school tomorrow.. Even though it's Veterans day soon. >.< Wtf is that?

Hope everyone's doing good.

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10652208/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10652208/ Tue, 07 Nov 2006 20:00:50 PST
I've been writing in my own journal, which is why I've neglected this one. I'm writing a a year long journal then I'll print it out and add it in with my friends journals, and make it into a huge book of journal-ness!

Inside the teens mind lole pls o_0

It's nice though.
Writing down my thoughts that is, not a teens mind.


I saw DeeDee today, made me happy. and I'm getting better at inking. Did good on my report card, also. O:
I finished Night shade. and another book.

I still want to read.


I'm watching a bunch of movies with Amanda this weekend, Saw 3, American haunting, Chainsaw massacre the beg. & more. YaY!

Oh and here is my new rat. Her name is Smokey.I'm in love.


She's soooo fat/cute/ugly/PERFECT! I ADORE HERRR! UGHH! Chubby little fartknocker. x3

She's starting to love me.

Yep.

Got Jessica into maplestory. XD;


Getting pictures to submit D



annddd, I'm happy.
That is all!


PS: Dumm = Silly! in german. 'Cuz I am ohsosilly D;

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10597206/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10597206/ Thu, 02 Nov 2006 19:16:43 PST _O

Well, I saw Amanda on Halloween and Today. I'm in an amazing mood.. Tomorrow Night is teH FAIR! With James, Heather, Stephany, Amanda, Tony, Lauren.. and more people. It's gonna be CaRaazY!

I will submit more art. I promise.


Love you guys.

PS: =balloons amazing talent has won a contest. and she was generous enough to give me some of her sub.

So much love for her, always and forever. SPAM HER!!

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10571032/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10571032/ Tue, 31 Oct 2006 13:02:29 PST Happy Halloween everyone.

Yarr! I'm so happy. Halloween isn't anything special this year.. Hasn't been for the past few years. but I am in a very, very good mood.

I'm working on a painting which is too big to be uploaded.. o.o; So yeah. That won't be on here, but hopefully I'll get some form of art on for you guys. (Because you all want to see >;O)

anndddd, this weekend is going to be so much fun. AwR. Fair, movies, movies, movies.... and more movies. My aunt has over 800 DVD's and she's letting me borrow some. Hurrah for nice Auntie-poo's.

The american haunting thing, which I watched the first hour of. Borrowing that.. and.... Urban legends. Even though it's old it's so old I must watch it again to remember it. Because it's bugging me that I can't remember that movie.. Yeah. And other movies. Reccomend any?

We watched the prestige and it was SO good. Hopefully we can see Saw 3 soon, even though I heard it was insanely gorey. o_o;

I've been a big movie-addict latley. YaY.




Doing good in school even though I missed so much.
I won't miss as much next 6 weeks.


Yep.

Take care,
Everyone.

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10439870/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10439870/ Fri, 20 Oct 2006 21:58:03 PDT Like I said... Slowly but surely. I can't attack them all at once, that'd be lamez0rs!

The Jimehmonster is tired.


We had PSAT's and I know it's just practice SAT so it doesn't matter but I was freaking out... I had SO much test anxiety. I couldn't think, my hands were shaking and I couldn't stop sweating. I didn't get ANY sleep... So i just said "Fuck it". Withdrew. and didn't do go to school.

I need a back bone don't I?

I'm constructing a list of things to do before I die, more-so just to remind myself... and because everyone has oneeeee~

I'm taking this seriously. I will do all of this.
Don't believe so?

Watch me.

Things I need to do before I am gone from planet Earth. =O
1. Build a relationship with me father.
2. Go to a Rasputina concert.. Screw that. Go to MANY rasputina concerts*
3. Progress as an artist in EVERY field.
4. Go to college and rub my education in everyones face.
5. Marry Amanda.

I'll add more. Then probably make a deviation out of it.... probably.
Post your lists on this journal if you have any! I'm eager to know what you guys want to accomplish before you dieeee.

Good night.

Edit
Amanda was showing me her uber adorable cute rad rats... She showed me a white one with red eyes, and a champagne - pinkish one.. and then OF COURSE, me... being the difficult little shit I am, I fall in love with the smokey colored MALE. So I'm gonna have to deal with his huge testicals when he gets older, but whatever. I love him. already. I'm probably gonna take him home Sunday. I saved him from Stue and Sue! I love the pythons but blah.. I love rats too. ~.~

Anyways. I'm so happy. I'm probably gonna call him "Smokey" after my first cat I had when I was like.. 7. O.o; Go meeee.

Smokey is giving meh kissies. ^.^; wootz0rs~

Tootles.

PS: I miss Kelli, dang her mommy! Oh well.. Maybe Smokey and Cherry can have some.. Smerrys? or.. Chokeys... o_O; Haha.. in a few years. ~.~ Maybe. That'd be odd..ANYWAYS. Bye evverryoneee.

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10392848/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10392848/ Sat, 14 Oct 2006 17:01:37 PDT
Just kidding. Well, these past few days have been good. I didn't go to school Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or TOMORROW! Sadly - Monday starts hell again. But whatever. It was a nice break.

Today I made Amanda her first salad. She tried a bunch of new things: Ranch, Cucumbers, Lettuce, Tomatoes, Crutons(SP?) and other st00f. Overall it was a success. D

I love salads, raWr! And I think she likes them a bit too. Not sure if she likes them more than mcdonalds yet.

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10338265/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10338265/ Mon, 09 Oct 2006 15:22:04 PDT
10 Things that are FUCKING bothering me.

1. Diets. I've been eating salads and excersizing and being healthy and drinking lots of water but doing it in MY house is IMPOSSIBLE.

Me: Mom, can you buy some apples and salad stuff?
Mom: oops, forgot! I'm gonna go fry some french fries and cheese burgers!
Me: ....I'm not...eating that. Thanks for trying to help.
Mom: YOU'RE SO UNGRATEFUL!!!!

2. Dad, high blood pressure- So my dad has high blood pressure. We don't have much of a relationship, but I still love him. Even though he's an alcoholic and abusive and has been a heartless moron 90% of the time, he's still my dad. and I don't know what I'd do if he died, especially right after my grandfather.

3. Friends. Don't got many, ones I do have are really upset. Which causes the chain effect and makes me upset. There's not much I can do, it sucks. I feel like a bad friend, maybe I care too much? I probably just need to grow up. Everything bothers me.

4. Repetive. Purple and gold day. I can read them as clear as a book. It sucks, I think in my head 2 hours before something will happen, EXACTLY how it will happen. Sure enough, it'll happen like that.

5. Sister looking up porn on my computer.

6. Art block.

7. My phone is broken.

8. My hair isn't how I wanted, I like it. But... it's not splotchy how I wanted. BAM bright orange then BAM RED tips. It's more like.. Red bangs. Shitty orangey-brown back. I mean, I love it... I really like it. It could've been better though. Does that make sense? Maybe I'm just being picky...

9. Headache.

10. Lastly, I hate people.

"Your hair is cool, I like it."

"Umm... Thanks."

-whispers- "Yeaahhh RIGHHTTT. Looks like shit.

The end.

Edit.
Happy Friday the 13th. ^^

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10296064/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10296064/ Thu, 05 Oct 2006 17:28:35 PDT [link]

Yeah. I guess I know who to let on my computer, and I guess know where my fucking viruses are coming from. Buy your own god-damn porn! >_<

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10293590/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10293590/ Thu, 05 Oct 2006 13:36:41 PDT not happiness. Okay?

Oh, and I've also heard "I'd rather hear the truth." Who the fuck wants to know the truth when it comes to happiness? I mean, yeah sometimes. But not all the time.

Times to tell the truth: When you've cheated on me. Tell me, so I can hate you & kill them.

Times to lie: When I look like shit, I mean honestly. I'd rather not know. If you never tell me; chances are someone won't just go, "You look like shit!" and if they never say that. Then I never know. Ever heard, what I dont know wont hurt me? Sheesh. Tell me I'm sexy, that's what I WANT to hear....

Ehhh, anyways.. This was sparked by the book I'm reading, Night Shade. By John Saul.

I'll tell you about it in detail, if you plan on reading this book, don't read ahead. If you plan on reading this book and you don't mind hearing vague detail before reading it, read ahead. If you'll never read this book....OBVIOUSLY READ AHEAD.

So the people are. Step Dad. Mom. Moms dead sister that died long ago. Alzheimers grandmother (Can't get over her dead daughter. Dead daughter = Favorite daughter.) and then there is "Son." Son doesn't know biological dad, only step dad. Son is on football team, rich step dad, loves his step dad, lots of friends, girlfriend... Etc. Etc. okay, anyways.. Continuing on =O

Alzheimers mom forgets she is cooking. Burns her house down. Has to move in with Mom. (Her daughter. "Least favorite.") Alzheimers Grandmother is a bitch to live with. She says stuff like, "You always were jealous of your sister, weren't you?"

"There goes that bastard son of yours."

Anyways, basically... It's hell living with her. And Mom promised she wouldn't put her in a nursing home, ever. and she will never break that promise. Even though her husband tells her if that woman lives with them any longer it will tear their family apart (He's right.)

Since she won't get rid of her, the husband moves out. Just to get away. For a few weeks. Step-son is angry at him for leaving him alone. Tells him "He's not his father."

Anyways, ends up.. They go hunting for his 16th birthday and the step son aims at a deer, and shoots. Blacks out.... When he wakes up his father (Step father) has a bullet hole through his head...

His girlfriend and friends and his step fathers friends say he did it on purpose, basically ruin his life. o_o; and the moms husband just died... Because of her son. Whom can't even REMEMBER shooting... The mom comforts her son and tells him it isn't his fault, but the alzheimers moron grandmother says "Accidents dont happen." "You killed her." "Just like you burned down my house!"

Yeah...she's paranoid. -.-

NOW, the part I'm reading currently. The grandmother follows her daughter. Except not really, her daughter is dead. It's her disease...

She follows her daughter out and gets lost and it's been 5 days and they can't find her and now she's probably dead.

Guess who they are blaming?

This book better have a happy ending... or I'll be...not happy

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10273494/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10273494/ Tue, 03 Oct 2006 16:25:03 PDT
Wish me luck?

The point of this challenge is to test and improve your skill as an artist. After 100 deviations who wouldn’t be better?

The rules:

1.) Make 100 P/S each P/S having a theme listed below. Each should have ONE and only ONE theme to it, for it to count.

2.) No time limit so have fun

3.) P/S should be of own artistic ability. You may not break any other rules set out in the Da etiquette policy. Your deviations can be anything from crap to great master pieces. Just have fun with it.

4.) The list below is to be placed somewhere in your journal for others to see that...
A.) You are in the challenge.
B.) What you have completed.

5.) Make sure to update this list and check off what is done and make a link to the p/s

6.) In the comments for your art work note if it is part of the list and what ONE theme it is.

Now the good part. CHALLENGE YOUR FRIENDS. PM ME IF YOU WISH TO CHALLENGE ME.

THE LIST
1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10252972/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10252972/ Sun, 01 Oct 2006 20:25:13 PDT

Weewooshalalabingbangchoochoolalalteetee wooterfooterpooterooheeeklalalooohchingc hang!

....So basically, today was very... busy

My life has been busy. Which is weird since I've missed 5 days of school due to my grandfather dying. Hmm... Still, more.. stressful for some reason.

Today = 2 hours of sleep. dinner at my grandmothers. amanda. family reunion. LOTS of food. more food. being forced to eat, EVEN more food. and finally, lots of pictures. which means...deviation-ness! So... Go look at them.

How was everyone elses day? Tomorrow is my grandfathers funeral, so after that, there shouldn't be many more events about it. although i'll still remember him, my life will basically... "go back to normal."

Has anyone ever had their house catch on fire? Wanna see whats left of my great grandmothers house, after the fire?

Click dis!~ [link]



Crazy, huh? Yep.

PS: Got report cards. I did amazingly well. ...For me at least.



]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10197619/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10197619/ Tue, 26 Sep 2006 20:17:48 PDT
He's had cancer, pancreas cancer. So basically his body won't allow him too digest foods. It's hard for him too eat, so his skin has been turning yellow-ish. Tonight it got really bad and they said he wouldn't make it through the night, our entire family came and sat by him all day. After about 6 hours when my mom, aunts, etc. left.... My grandma decided too leave the room for 4 minutes. When she came back, he was dead. She's beating herself up for not staying but honestly, there's no way my grandpa would've died in front of us. Anyone. He's not that kind of person. If you had met him you'd know just how true what I'm saying is...

So we rushed back over at around midnight and I've been next too him for the past 2-3 hours. I seriously don't think I've ever cried that much, when I heard he was gone I had a hole in my chest and I was really sad... but I didn't cry. I knew I'd miss him, but I didn't cry. when I saw his body in bed I just kind've broke down. I think it had that affect on everyone. My grandpa is so lively and vabriant, the dead look really doesn't suit him. Well, after everyone spent some time with him, and let everything out. We let the people roll him out, that was another blow too the chest. But I think by this point everyone was so numb it didn't really matter. I shouldn't be complaining, he's been an amazing grandpa too me since I was a fetus. I can tell you all kinds of stories and all kinds of jokes he'd pull... But I won't waste your time with those details.

I feel more sorry for his daughter, he will never see her get married. For his son, he was off in the army and was trying too get home at the time his dad died. I feel more sorrow for my grandma whom has lost so many people in her lifetime, and probably feels as if she has no one. If you should feel sorry for anyone, it's not me. it's them.

Oh, and my drug-addict-alcoholic aunt tried too get into a fight up there at my grandpas house while we saying goodbye. Respect...right? She's so fucked up, she'll never change. I won't let her ruin this journal like she ruined everyones goodbyes...

So, moving along.

We were very close and I loved him.
I'll be fine. Life goes on, I'll just miss him. That's all.
I handle these situations well.
Please don't say anything stupid on this journal or too me anytime soon because I'm not sure how I'll reply.

If you read all of this then, thanks for caring. If not... talk too me. I can't sleep and I am too much of a mess too go to school tomorrow, so... Yeah. talkage please? =/




sigh.


Edit.

On a happier note. Remember when there was... 400,000 deviations? I do... 26-27 million now. Sheesh.

]]> ~heliums http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10171389/ http://heliums.deviantart.com/journal/10171389/ Sun, 24 Sep 2006 10:53:10 PDT
How is everyone doing?



(PS: Yes, this is ~INSANE-CLOWNZ)

]]> ~heliums