http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:imasrealasbarney&section=today deviantART RSS for by:imasrealasbarney en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 03:18:41 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/27692985/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/27692985/ Sat, 10 Oct 2009 18:20:09 PDT



Yes, this is a whole chapter.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/27630481/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/27630481/ Wed, 07 Oct 2009 10:12:36 PDT
I've been having flashbacks a lot lately. Flashbacks to three years ago, sophomore year. That was around the time I first joined DeviantArt and I do believe that year was quite awesome. I wrote a lot of poems and read a lot of books back then. I also took a lot of nice photos back then. Now I haven't been doing most of them anymore and I really want to again! I also had awesome haircuts. This past year I've learned how to be so random and sarcastic so much that it's sort of all I've been doing. Except, when I write on my DeviantArt journal. And it's funny because I used to WISH that I was more random and sarcastic. At first I forced it, until I became an expert. Sort of. Ah, but I did get an awesome haircut.

My brother, I have come to know is living with my granma in our old house. And even if I've totally forgotten about him screaming at me, I still don't want to talk about it with people. Especially my mother. I've actually gotten used to him not being home, It's actually a lot more peaceful. Except my mum gets on my nerves every single day, but I love her. She's just getting old.
I dunno why but I don't feel like talking to my mother. Probably because if I start talking to her she'll bring up the topic of my brother, and I really don't want to talk about it. I miss him sometimes, yeah sure, but like, I reeeally don't want to think about it. Really, drama and me, not good.

I just watched FAME, and holy macaroni and cheese I absolutely loved it. Because if you knew me, singing is just my insane passion. INSANE okay? I cannot even explain to you how much I absolutely love music. This movie just gave me goosebumps countless of times and made me cry! These past few days I've also been having this itch to dance again. Yeah, again. And this is my secret, I used to be a ballerina when I was a kid. And I was really good, until I had to stop cuz we didn't have money. And then I started again, but I just didn't want to start from scratch. And I kind of do feel bad, but then ballet dancers have insane dedication, they practice everyday and I dunno if I can do that and not sing. I don't think I can ever stop singing. It's most depressing, a week without singing is just torture. And by singing I mean in front of a crowd. (Just last week, I recorded myself singing and posted it on YouTube but I took it off eventually.) Oh yeah, FAME. WOW.

One day, I shall be a cool famous singer making people happy.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/27533083/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/27533083/ Fri, 02 Oct 2009 03:39:58 PDT
I'm holding on to my faith. It's still possible. And even if it does pour, I will not be shaken because I know God will protect me and my family.

But one thing I can't shake is my brother. My mother finally made him leave the house the other day for permanent, she's making my sister move into his room. It was the final straw and I can't help but feel it was my fault. I pissed him off and he started screaming. These past weeks he's been so ill-tempered, more than ever. He's been disrespecting my mother and treating her like trash and I couldn't take it, I told him off while he got mad at me. Now none of us know where he's been staying. It's been three days.

Now my mother is even more paranoid than ever, I was annoyed at first, now I just feel bad for her. Just this afternoon, because I was quiet she started shouting, looking for me because she thought I left the house. I don't know what's going to happen, I really don't. Right now it seems like nothing's going right. But I know that when things go down then it could only go up.

Right now there's really nothing I can do, I wish I could just make the storm disappear but I can't. All I can do is keep the faith, the hope and the love. When I lose it I am left with nothing, just depression. And I don't want to go through that again.

I find it, ironic how these months I'm just waiting to leave this country so I can start my life in America. But so many things are happening, non even that relate to the legalities of us leaving, that should make me want to leave all the more but I'm not leaving till everything's okay. And I have faith that everything's going to be alright.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/27443640/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/27443640/ Sun, 27 Sep 2009 08:12:24 PDT
This whole event, it still hasn't ended.. It all just points me back to Jesus. At this moment, I don't know if any of my friends are dead (hopefully not) but I just leave it all up to Him. If i could, I would fly over to my friends' houses and save them, if i could, I would just let the floods subside. But I'm mere human and God is God.

"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
- Psalm 46:10

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/26851202/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/26851202/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 06:42:00 PDT
I miss being active on dA.. I think I'm going to take more photos again and start viewing and faving and watching more..

YAY!

thanks again!

Especially to
David Aka postaldude66
Who i met on (is it iphotograph or teendevs?) one chatroom here on dA and has been such a loyal and UBERLY nice watcher and friend.. THANKS A MILLION..



]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/26784884/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/26784884/ Sun, 23 Aug 2009 21:32:07 PDT Words cannot even express how happy i am feeling right now..I even over used exclamation points. I barely ever use punctuation marks.

Right after I wrote that previous journal, I suddenly didn't want to go to school anymore.. I seriously just wanted to stop.. I would've cried if my sister's friends weren't there.. I'd even texted my mum saying sorry, telling her i'd quit... anyway, long story short, i stuck it out and graduated yesterday... We had to prepare for a buffet for a hundred and ten people from thursday til sunday... Had to be there at 3 am last Sunday... So i'm so exhausted i am not even kidding... But i somehow enjoy it.. Pushing myself til i'm left with nothing else to do but rest..

I volunteered to be a trainer for my high school's volleyball varsity team, it's a depressing team i tell you.. really depressing.. Cuz all of the other old varsity players graduated... It really teaches you a lot about raising the next generation.. It's sad.. So now i have to start all over again starting from the basics.. And we barely have a month to prepare for the league... But i am optimistic.. And feels good to be back in my God forsaken High School, yeah sure i hated everyone's guts but something about it is like being home.. I did spend almost ten years there..

I had the opportunity of finally leading the worship for our youth group two Fridays ago out of desperation.. haha. Although I sort of knew i would end up leading.. It was pretty awesome, I'm really grateful i got to lead and that it didn't suck.. I've been singing for a long time now, and it's become more of just singing. Whenever I sing, I have to set my heart and my mind right.. I have a whole pride issue i've been working on.. Whenever I sing and my heart and mind isn't in the right place, i end up sucking and embarrassing myself.. And this, this has happened more than once.. Even in live television and in front of thousands of people.. I've learned my lesson, and i'm working on this.. Everyday i work on this..

Now, a new chapter of my life begins.. I don't know what's going to happen now..For now i'm back to bumming around and helping out my volleyball team.. I was supposed to home school 12th grade then continue in the states.. But it seems that could change.. So i'll just go where ever God leads me..

Wow, this didn't take me hours to write. I'm proud of myself.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/26496051/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/26496051/ Mon, 10 Aug 2009 01:08:16 PDT But Coffee's so cheap and if you buy coffee from somewhere you get to lounge around the shop the whole. Which is exactly what I am doing right now..

I am hobo-ing in Starbucks right now and all I bought was one short cup of hot brewed coffee that has gone cold, I've been here since 11:45 in the morning and it is currently 2:02 PM. I am not hungry but i feel like i should buy something, does Starbucks have anything I can eat that can suffice for lunch? Cause I don't want to leave and I'm going to have to give my comfortable sofa and pack up this heavy laptop to go eat somewhere else, and since i am on the second floor i decided to type 'Starbucks Menu' on google. How awesome is that? but i found nothing, i think i should just go down and leave the laptop, but then people are starting to come and i really don't like people...

and i find that weird, cuz im a pretty 'social' person, but then i guess you have to be in the mood to be social like that.. I've been reading, The Catcher In The Rye lately, and i'm pretty proud of myself, cuz i've had major reader's block lately. Urban Dictionary says this is caused by reading something so beautiful that after anything you read is really not worth reading anymore. It totally sucks because I LOVE to read. So i'm half way done with the book. I decided to read it cause I got really intrigued with John Lennon's murderer, this was his favorite book and he based his life on the book. I must say, this book can get a person terminally depressed. With profanity in every five lines and how he hates everything and everything gets him depressed. He always says he'd do certain things, but then he doesn't because he needs to be in the mood to do something (I'm talking about Holden Cauffield of the book now...) . And I can really relate to that.. Cause for the most of these two years, i've been so passive and apathetic of EVERYTHING that i seem to just not be in the mood to do anything... I don't know when this started, but then I know for the longest time, i havent been doing anything cause I'm waiting for something to happen. I don't know exactly what it is, but i know im waiting for something to happen.

wow, I just left the laptop to take a leak for five seconds. i was so scared someone would steal my sister's laptop i didn't even bother fasten my belt. But i doubt anyone would steal it anyway.. But i have major trust issues. We don't need to get into that...

I had a major breakdown two weeks ago, I just suddenly flat out told my mum i didn't want to go to school, did i tell you about that? I intentionally woke up late so i wouldn't have to go to school... And i cried to my mum over the phone outside the lecture room, it was like kindergarten all over again. I just didn't want to go to school, one of the main reasons was because Gross boy was there.. And that the gay pastry chef teacher really did not like me.. I was 30minutes late and i wished he'd just send me home... But he didn't.. It was a sucky day... but then it was alright once got into it... I realized who was i fooling, i can just sulk and not enjoy, but then i only end up the loser... I like our other chef teacher, he's nice and he's the first chef teacher (i really dont like calling them chef, it's weird.. but we have to) who ever called me by my name and actually smiled and talked to me... And i'm not scared of him and respect him.. Last thursday i didn't go to school, cause 'i wasn't feeling well..' but then i really wasn't but it was more of a, i don't want to go to school today. I actually enjoy just bumming around all day.. REALLY, i've gotten so used to it.. But then, I guess i'm enjoying cooking school now, i'm really trying to.. Cause I feel so guilty, cuz i dont want to blame my mother, i dont want to say she forced this on to me to take this course, although i sort of did.. See, i have this inability to say 'NO' to people.. Really, i do.. so now, it's just the idea of having to go to school is what i dread.. But when i'm there it's alright.. i still don't have friends.. and i don't mind.. I just really want to finish the course already so i can go back to bumming around the house..

I need to start jogging, or riding my bike again.. But then like always, i find some lame excuse not to... My bike, has a flat tire. and I don't want to start jogging again because i know i'm going to get really sore the next day. I don't even want to say im going to jog tomorrow cause most likely i won't.. Even if i want to, i most like wont..

Mum's been out of the country for a week now, she'll be back this Sunday.. and everytime she's out of the country, i think it's awesome how you can... ]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/25983424/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/25983424/ Thu, 16 Jul 2009 11:08:10 PDT been absent... I've been dreading every meeting cause i just can't stand him. I could quit but then I don't want to be a loser like him. And quitting is for losers and life's full of pathetic losers like him..

It's finally Friday (1:11 am) and the weekends and Mondays are the best days of the week. Sure cooking school's fine other than i have to deal with all sorts of strange people, stand for hours in the heat of the kitchen, wear a silly hat and deal with the fear of making a mistake cause i just am, afraid of failure... But I just enjoy music more than anything else in the whole world.. I sing on Fridays and Saturdays for two different Youth services for two different churches. And even if I'm just singing back up it's just an awesome feeling to be on stage and holding a mic and you can jump around and dance and they can't say you look stupid. And when people come up to you and just say 'Good Job' and just basically being able to bless other people and God by using my talents.. It's all i ever want to do...

Everyone else in the world hates Mondays but i love them, cause I don't have to wake up early and I have Piano Classes. And I've wanted to play the piano for real now.. I can like, memorize and copy how people play but I can never read notes. My piano teacher is so much fun too, she's not strict and old school like those... well, strict and old teachers.. And besides, the new guy i like plays the piano..


Life's been.. well pretty routinary now.. but i have Wednesdays to balance it out.. And for now, i think i need something routine cause for the longest time since graduation, I've just been bumming out and spending money..

As for the migration, wow, i never actually used the term 'migration' for this whole experience.. Well, i really wouldn't call it an experience yet cause i haven't experienced anything but waiting.. but then again that's part of it.. Speaking of waiting... I really want to leave by September cause I want to experience High School in the states and possibly experience prom again... since mine was.. never mind. But then, it seems what I said before, that I have nothing left for me here in the Philippines is changing, or at least I've realized that isn't really true.. Cause I have awesome friends and even if I don't get to see them all the time cause they have school, they're still there.. And I get to sing here and I don't know if i can find anywhere to sing there.. And I think I want to spend my 18th birthday here.. wow, I'm old..

Wow, this is long, no one's going to want to read it.. hahaha..

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/25515918/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/25515918/ Wed, 24 Jun 2009 11:43:53 PDT
So I've been known to like attention, well, at least to myself and people who can analyze other people well. I get really sad when people don't post on my wall for a while, or comment on my photos. I dress weird and get crazy haircuts too. Although, I am always one to say 'I don't care what people think.' I think i pretty much do, and I think everyone does too.

I did something that seemed fun at the moment, but it just backfired and blew up right in my face... I enjoy pranks.

A friend and I were somewhat, somehow led to this mall we never went to to watch The Proposal, but it wasn't out yet. But they did have an advanced screening of Transformers two. Tickets were priced just a bit higher but of course we watched it cause we wanted to be cool ad ahead of everyone.. That's always an awesome feeling. So we watched it before everybody else did, when we got out, people were starting to queue up for the second advanced screening. It was awesome. Anyway, I was bored on Facebook and I decided to tease people and I put a false ending as my status. And people who never used to talk to me just started cussing at me (not really) but a lot of people really hated me for it. At first it was funny, and of course I couldn't say 'no, it didn't happen.' Because it does happen, but it isn't the ending. Yeah, it was fun initially and I really thought people wouldn't take it seriously. But they didn't. So i took it back and said i haven't watched the movie. Even if I really did, before everyone else. So watching it ahead of everyone else isn't that cool anymore cause I said I didn't. I didn't have to, but i really couldn't take people hating me. I really can't. I like, to be liked. But not really in the people pleasing way, but I just hate people hating me.. It's too much hate, hating each other.

But, please. Do, never take me seriously.

Oh gosh, It is almost 2:30 and I told myself I'm going to be starting to sleep earlier this week. I also told myself, I'm going to start losing weight. I also said I was going to marry dshiusdhf... Yes... They're all bound to come true one of these days.. they better... So the weather forecast said a massive typhoon was going to hit manila at 8 pm, and then at 11 pm. Nothing. Yeah, it's pretty cool outside and maybe a few drizzles, but it's no typhoon. cause I've seen typhoons in my time. But then, yeah, my mom was saying how it's scary, the calm before the storm. We had one a just a few years back, [link] <<<--- click to see devastation. You can go on Youtube and search 'Milenyo' and it shows the strong winds and what not. I don't want that to happen again. We had no electricity and water for ten days.

This, calm. It's quite calm. And it's like everyone's expecting a huge one like before. But maybe, just maybe, just like how i was doubting if i had closed the faucet before I left the house and came back and i did close it, maybe the storm won't happen. And even if classes are already suspended for tomorrow, it's actually going to be a sunny day and kids are going to be very happy...

That'd be nice..

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/25393358/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/25393358/ Thu, 18 Jun 2009 11:46:12 PDT
Father's Day is on Sunday... And I don't want to go to church... Because every Father's Day, the message never fails to make me cry. And I don't like crying about my father in front of my mum. I'm scared it'll offend her, or they might tease me for being too dramatic. Especially now that I'm starting to PMS, I'm going to get all emotional and I'm going to keep on pretending to be yawning just so I'd have a reason to say why my eyes are watering.

A lot of things move me too deeply, just like a friend of mine said. But scenes in movies, stories in books that have anything to do with a Father and son/daughter's relationship just really takes a grip on me and doesn't let go until I let the tears flow (hey, that could be a good line for a poem...).

Although I don't like talking about my family, I just have to say that I love my dad. For being the rockstar that he is, for being protective, for loving me. I've forgiven him for everything..

So I've had this problem with being pessimistic, a result of not wanting to get disappointed by hoping too much. Now, I've got it all figured out... Things I think of happening, NEVER HAPPEN. Yeahp, story of my life. But it's cool... Cause now, I've come to a point where i only think of things i don't want to happen, so they won't happen. Just like this afternoon, I went for my orientation to the Cooking School I enrolled to. I was so nervous, I was so scared that the person interviewing me was going to be one of those rich, snobby people i abhor. I was afraid he was going to diss my chipped nail polish. But he didn't, he was really nice and I didn't have to be afraid of anything...


My sister had a meeting tonight, and I had to wait for her in Fully Booked for two hours... I read a book. And it's been so long since I've read a book, I haven't written any poems, any stories for so long cause I haven't had any inspiration. I tried watching movie after movie but it just isn't the same. Literature is an amazing tool, how you can make something so plain, as a red ribbon, so magnificent with using just mere words...See how I did that? I love how authors, even if there are plain words use a different, more colorful alternate word to make something seem more complex than it really is...

I've always wanted to publish my own book... I've been writing a novel -well, i stopped for two years now- for young adults but i've never come to finishing it fully. It's done in my mind, but i just have to write it...

Ever since i was a kid, I've always wished someone could just read my brain. Cause really, my brain thinks up the most bizarre things I just cant write or verbally say, because i end up mumbling.

Anyway, just now, I'm thinking of taking literature in college.. Insane, just a few days ago i wanted psychology, before that, criminology, before that, forensics... I'm influenced so much by my environment I have trouble sticking to one decision...

Thanks to :icon:thespook:icon: for the CSS! Isn't it awesome? It's so Sherlock Holmes.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/25305363/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/25305363/ Sun, 14 Jun 2009 08:56:01 PDT
I woke up alone yesterday. And I do not exaggerate, most Filipino homes have helpers or maids, even the not so rich people have helpers.. It's culture. But we don't. So when most kids say alone, they usually mean alone with the helper or pet.
I have neither. I have an older brother who's close to a pet. This happens quite often though... And I should really be used to this because I'm always the last one to get up cause I'm always the one with nothing to do and nowhere to go..

School starts for most kids this week.. I am so jealous I'm actually thinking of visiting my that God forsaken place where I attended High School.. But I don't want to see our music teacher who has really bad halitosis... I wonder if it'll be any different.. I wonder if we're missed.
I watched High School Musical 3 this afternoon with my cousin and brother.. It made me so sad.. The first time we saw that movie we got so inspired, being us ourselves, seniors. Whatever, it's lame, yes, but I don't care. I remember feeling the same way the people in the movie were feeling.
Fourth year could have been the worst year of my life, but it was one of the best..

I've got texts and wall posts from people saying how excited they are to start school and what not.. It makes me so jealous..

Everyone's starting their life and I'm stuck..

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/25159893/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/25159893/ Sat, 06 Jun 2009 10:55:48 PDT
It's been raining pretty hard here all week and I don't like it, it's insanely windy too... I enjoy summer's heat and the sunlight, I enjoy the rainbows and the flowers and the grass and the butterflies.. I don't like wet roads and gloomy skies.. Most people like rain.. I think I'm the only one who doesn't... It's hard to get to places when you don't have a car, especially where I live. And you can't go riding your bike, cause you'll get wet..

I don't like umbrellas... They're a hassle.. Except for those expensive automatic ones which i don't have.. I have a cute black and white polka dotted umbrella that doesn't work all the time.. I don't like how you have to bring it around with you and it's wet, especially when your getting into the bus or the car..

Classes have been suspended a week because of the storms.. and the swine flu.. kids are happy..

Speaking of classes, I'm going to be taking a two and half month certified culinary course in this awesome culinary arts school in the mean time while I wait... When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a chef and own my own little boutique and cafe/bar where I CAN SING! Exciting..

I know who I want to marry now... He's got all the qualities I like in a guy except he's only two years older than me, I wanted at least three... I'm going to marry him, he just doesn't know it yet.

Oh yes, I'm a very decisive person. You can't mess with me..

I want a philly cheese steak sandwich please.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24975747/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24975747/ Wed, 27 May 2009 08:46:47 PDT

Anyway..


So I continued to watch Idol and hated the fact that every time Allen sung a song, it would pierce my heart and give me goosebumps. And then he sang Falling Slowly........ and he sang The Way You Look Tonight... and then there were three and he sang Heartless.. And Glambert kept shrieking... Something in me clicked and I wanted Kris Allen to win.

Everyone wanted him to win, cause he wasn't larger than life like Glambert. Kris Allen represented us mere mortals who don't wear make up and bell bottom jeans. Yes, Glambert is undeniably talented.. but I was never a fan. Just like Celine Dion is a great singer, although I'm not a fan. Adam Lambert scares the living hell out of me when he/it screams. Yes, he's/it's a good performer, on stage but he/it doesn't reach out and give me goosebumps when he/it sings, he/it doesn't make you feel. Not like when Kris sang Falling Slowly, or when Danny sang Hello or Allison with Cindy Lauper..
Songs that make you feel what the song is saying or what the artist is feeling.. It's not just the voice.

Some of the songs that make me feel:
1. The Scientist - Coldplay (.....)
2. Tonight - Stars
3. Details In The Fabric - Jason Mraz & James Morrison
4. Make You Feel My Love - Adele
5. Boats & Birds - Gregory & The Hawk
6. Who Knew - Pink
7. Sober - Kelly Clarkson
8. Falling Slowly - Once/ Kris Allen


I can't stop going on about Falling Slowly cause it's been on repeat and it makes me feel so happy and sad all at the same time and it helps me write... and Kris makes me swoon.

I feel bad for Glambert, cause like I said, he/it can really work the stage and his technique is insane... he was always too theatrical and fake and gay and showbiz for me though. Theater is fine, but people who do theater have this... trait. I don't know if im the only person who notices this, and I'm sorry if you're into theater, but most people i know who are in theater are weirdly mature or try to be mature, they know so much. Take it as a compliment. GAY PEOPLE IN SHOWBIZ are two of my newly discovered fears. Oh gosh.. I applaud people in showbiz, how they can take the superficiality and falseness and the rude gay people and how they're willing to do things that are so tacky and lame just for the money. A recent experience made me realize that I wouldn't be able to last in showbiz without killing myself.


The Kris Allen and Glambert finale was quite spectacular cause they're two very different and talented artists. Allen's album will be an album i can put in my mom's car and play while she's driving and Glambert's album will be filled with shrieking and will bring seizures to homes of people but in any case, a very talented man/woman/creature. But there are people who still prefer him more than Allen, cause like i had said, it's a matter of taste. So that's where my rock star father comes in with his words of wisdom (this is serious)

'Music can never be a competition cause people have different tastes and likes, if you want a competition, do sports...'






KRIS ALLEN FTW!

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24714950/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24714950/ Tue, 12 May 2009 04:27:52 PDT This beats breaking up with your almost boyfriend.


I might get into drugs or alcohol, which one screws your life more?


All i wanted was ice cream. I thought i needed exercise so I walked to the store... They didn't have the flavor i wanted so i went back home to get my bike to go to the other store. I was already there and i bumped into an old friend who obviously hated my hair which i didn't fix because i was too lazy and the wax is too hard to take out. I got the ice cream and one bag of chips. I put the things one the counter and i check my pockets, and i had just lost my whole week's allowance.

Why did I put it in my pocket? Because my wallet's too big and i didn't want to put that in my pocket. Why did I have to walk with my hands in my pocket? Why did I not notice the money flying away?

Cause I'm just lucky like that.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24694873/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24694873/ Sun, 10 May 2009 21:37:48 PDT

Follow?

[link]

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24683320/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24683320/ Sun, 10 May 2009 09:35:46 PDT
My mom is an emotional mess. I don't like giving her gifts or saying sweet nothings to her anymore, she goes all gross and mushy to the point of sometimes crying. But of course i still give her gifts when i'm supposed to.
My dad, well he has his new family. I've forgiven him a long time ago but I still get all emotional whenever the topic is a father-child thing. Any movie with dads and kids make me cry. SERIOUSLY.


Without fail, my mom wakes up in a bad mood every Mother's Day. Today was so far the worst.

My mother and my older brother are like... Mirrors of each other. And they hate each other. It makes me so mad. They just feed off of each other. My brother I think actually likes it when my mother gets mad and nags nonstop cause he never seems to learn. My mother then likes to annoy him more and NAGS NON STOP, like okay he can hear you. DID I SAY IT MAKES ME SO MAD?! And they both have egos as big as the other that they don't see that they're both REALLY STUPID. And i'm stuck in the middle. I'm so mad right now i can't stop crying and i actually want to cuss, I DON'T cuss. I hate the both of them so much right now. And my sister, she's like.. Invisible. She doesn't care, she doesn't have guilt, no emotions whatsoever. Like what the hell man? I'm the youngest nobody's ever going to listen to what I have to say, they're just going to laugh at me and say i'm being dramatic. So I just shut up, and bear this and obey my mother when she wants to lock him out of the house. BUT I DON'T WANT TO.


I want to leave this house so bad. But my mother, it's like she can't live without me. I hate it. I'm stuck.




I just want someone to listen.



i need a frikin hug.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24626665/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24626665/ Wed, 06 May 2009 21:12:48 PDT

40 people went through to the next round. Each name that they called that wasn't mine made me smile bigger each time. Though in the back of my head i thought i would have a second chance. When i noticed that the girls they were calling, were the pretty ones who knew how to sing and looked and sounded like each other, i knew in my heart i wasn't going to be called. Surprise Surprise.

Society will always accept the skinny girls with long hair.

I didn't get in.

I would be lying if i said I'm not disappointed. Yes, I am. But disappointment and regret are two emotions that I've mastered to not feel. Some people would just rather not be optimistic to avoid the disappointment, but that never works. Being human, it's innate for us to want the better. I learned, that it's better to just accept whatever the result is, good or bad. If it's good, then that's awesome. If it isn't good, there's always something better.

Always.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24577128/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24577128/ Mon, 04 May 2009 02:39:31 PDT
Really, it always boggled me how celebrities become 'gods' that us, mere immortals, are to treat them more special than anyone else. Why is everyone so obsessed with fame and money? Why does EVERYONE want to be famous just so they'd be treated differently, but when in reality it's just the simple people who make them appear more highly than themselves. Because really, celebrities are only human..

The first round eliminations are tomorrow. I want to be eliminated because I'm not having fun and really, I don't want to have to go through what I did last Tuesday. But I want to stay too just so I can prove myself..


P.S
I'm having trouble having new friends because of the huge crowd and I'm not used to opening up to many people. Trust issues.

P.P.S
I might do senior year in the states before i go on to college. So that means i'm moving earlier, around august. I can't wait.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24339719/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24339719/ Mon, 20 Apr 2009 08:47:18 PDT And just last week i was wondering what i was going to to with my life and this falls into my lap...


Just yesterday, we were driving along Fort Bonifacio when we saw a SINGKAMAS in the middle of the road. (Singkamas = jicama/ mexican turnip.) It was all alone there, just randomly placed beneath the street lamp that gave it sufficient lighting to make it even more funny.

Why do filipinos have to give funny names to vegetables?


Life is so random.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24146444/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/24146444/ Thu, 09 Apr 2009 12:28:12 PDT

I just felt like saying that.

So I finally graduated a week ago.. It's been a whirlwind of parties and hair product.. I don't really know what to feel. It's like I'm still waiting for something. And I've been waiting for that something for the most of this year. I still don't know what it is though.


My mother's getting married, and I'm insanely happy for her. Except that she's a trillion times more anal now that he's here visiting..


I miss my long hair, basically because everybody else i know does too.. I practically live on compliments, I really shouldn't. People confuse me though, initially they get shocked, then they say they love it. Then they say they miss my old, boring, long hair. Which is another way of saying 'Okay so we get the point, you want to make a statement, but you look weird now get your old hair back.' Y'know what? There's really nothing i can do about it so YOU EITHER LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT ALONE. (i say that to reassure my poor little insecure heart more than to scare people off.)

So I'm taking a break from school and moving to The States next year and studying college there. As I had already said, The Mum is getting married. So I have a whole year. OF NOTHING. Actually I have to study for the GEDs, I'm not sure yet what it is, He explains it a lot, The boyfriend (mum's not mine). But yeah, basically i have to study for it to be able to take college in the States. I haven't been studying. Like I said, it's been parties. I make that sound as if I'm really cool. I'm not. I just have a faux-fauxhawk (No. That wasn't a typo.) I went to a Conservative Christian school where 'wild' could be described as wearing printed socks instead of the plain white socks we should wear. Although we tried to party with all the drinks and what not but we barely got drunk, yeah, all.. six of us. Anyway, I'm scared. As always. Practically because now, my life will revolve around this test. And my mother getting married. I'm actually just waiting for life to begin. That's really scary, anything could happen. Very scary. But I try not to think about it too much. I've been trying not to think about anything too much lately. I don't like to feel. Not anymore.

I don't even like any boy right now, I really don't.. I try to think that I do. But I really don't... Although for some strange, but not too strange because It's sort of innate, reason, I want a boyfriend.

April 10, 2009
03:26 AM

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/23774823/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/23774823/ Thu, 19 Mar 2009 04:39:11 PDT Three years of hoping and waiting.
Three years of thinking you were prince charming.

YOU'RE NOT.

You were always so mysterious, your mystery is a joke. You make me sick.
I can't believe I wasted time on you.


I'm sorry i ever thought you were perfect.


I hate you...


But don't hurt yourself.
Because you're making the worst mistake you could make.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/23551230/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/23551230/ Fri, 06 Mar 2009 03:42:27 PST
]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/23363944/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/23363944/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 13:55:48 PST
Over what will be. Uncertainty. My heart is heavy.

Ironies of life that keep on leading me no where.

Cliche' concepts filling what's left of this brain.

Nothing is spectacular anymore. Nothing is life changing. Nothing is surprising.

It's... just... that.


Try as i may, this will never make sense.

Transparency is not my forte.

No, depth is not either.

Fear hinders what i really speak.



Endings are never pleasant.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/22997414/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/22997414/ Wed, 04 Feb 2009 06:56:38 PST


They have no visual memory at all...

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/22837190/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/22837190/ Tue, 27 Jan 2009 05:22:35 PST

It's a simpler yet grander thing than that...





PROM



Frikkin prom.



I am two weeks away.



I've bought a dress.



I've the shoes..



I've shed the pounds..



I've got one thing missing.




you guess what.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/22446056/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/22446056/ Wed, 07 Jan 2009 04:40:22 PST I messed up the second show.

Disclaimer: If you are reading this, i don't want your sympathy..

Singing, is my INSANE passion. Especially singing to a crowd.


One of my passions, is sports. And if there's one thing that i learned from playing, it's 'DON'T GET COCKY' or over confident. Never underestimate your opponent. That makes you lose. You hear it in movies but really it's amazing what it can do. I play volleyball and in a league where you're doing well, it can get to your head and when you're cocky, you tend to not give your best. And you lose. Losing SUCKS.

People kept commending me about my singing, and i got the privilege of opening the show, that was insane. I was lifted high, higher than anyone should be. It got dangerous, during practice, when I wouldn't do well I'd feel bad about it and sulk. SULKING IS NOT COOL.

The day of the show came..
I wanted to give people chills. All eyes was going to be on ME.


I didn't know when to start, it was dark, I couldn't see the director, we didn't talk about when I would start. I started a a key higher. But it was all good.

It was awesome. I was higher than you could imagine..

It was time for the second show..

I got lost in all the fog and the lights and the people.

I skipped to second line of the verse... the dancers got lost...
I wanted to call a take 2.. What was i going to do now? I wanted to cry.

I swallowed a big lump in my throat and went on.

When we were younger, when we did something wrong. Our mom would paddle us, now, whatever you think of hitting your children, I don't care. Right after she did it, she would come into our rooms and hug us tight and whisper to us, 'I love you, that's why i discipline you.' I will never forget how she said that.

I forgot what I learned. I GOT COCKY. I messed up. It wasn't about me, I sing well. But not because I practiced and i worked hard on it. It was given to me by God, and that musical wasn't about me. It was ABOUT HIM. It was always about him.

I could've stopped singing and ran off stage when I messed up, but God gave me the grace to carry on and the presence of mind. It was painful. But growing is painful. It took me weeks after that musical before I finally forgave myself. Remembering that instance still pains me.

Just a few nights ago, i felt God give me a hug, saying .. 'I love you, that's why i discipline you..'


'I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live I live by believing in God's Son, who loved me and took the punishment for my sins.'
Galatians 2:20



So not just in sports, or in musicals.. But in every instance of your life.
DON'T GET COCKY.
It's not about you. It never was.
God loves you.

'Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline...'
Revelation 3:19a

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/21745851/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/21745851/ Sun, 30 Nov 2008 10:04:54 PST
UGGGGH... So friday was just HELL for me so my friend invited me to watch a movie, and what better movie for two girl teenagers to watch other than, Twilight. This is not a review. But i believe everyone should read this.
Now, I'm fresh off the sixteen year old boat and i just got on the seventeen year old* ship and although there really isn't any difference it's just that the fact that i've been on earth for this long and nothing much exciting has ever happened to me is really depressing. My whole life i've been stuck in a Christian school with the only idea of being wild and rebellious is carving 'you suck' on school property. I've been feeling like i've just totally wasted my youth. But then again i'm glad i haven't gotten pregnant or anything, it's not like anybody would want to get me pregnant haha.. So i've been pretty depressed lately because everyone else i know is young and still have a lot ahead of them, and i know it's pretty stupid to feel the way i'm feeling because as older people would say 'ang bata mo pa eh..' But during my elementary years, i've always imagined highschool to be like.. the movies. and the books.
You know, something like, your mother gets a new job out of the country and you have to transfer to a new school and you're new and you try to keep a low profile but a hot guy turns out to suddenly fall in love with you. And now, as i approach the end of my highschool life, NONE OF THAT HAS HAPPENED.
I believe i should just say for all of you waiting for something to happen,

EDWARD CULLEN DOES NOT FRIKIN EXIST. OKAY?

Books are fictional. Books are made to feed your imagination and lure you in. Books are made by authors to make money. Books are made by hopeless romantic authors. Edward Cullen was made perfect so every woman would want him. But he doesn't exist.
So don't even think about it. Edward Cullen will not appear in your room in the middle of the night. Edward Cullen IS FICTIONAL. YA HEAR?

I never wanted to read Twilight even if my friends had read it way before anybody did, I'm not a fan of vampires and I didn't want to be obsessed with a fictional being. The movie sucked balls, and Robert Pattinson is butt ugly, but his persona is insanely perfect i found myself imagining him appearing in my room in the middle of the night. I kept repeating to myself that he didn't exist. And i reiterate, HE DOESN'T. I say this also to convince myself.

Books are nice, they exercise your brain and it lets you escape reality. But I guess my imagination can be so strong i confuse it with reality. I'm about to reach the end of highschool and the end of teenage life, no knight (vampire) has ever come to sweep me off my feet. There aren't any jocks or nerds or cheerleaders or rebels. Just normal people like you and me waiting for something to happen, something like the books.

Your life is your own book, make it a good one.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/21335434/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/21335434/ Wed, 05 Nov 2008 07:40:04 PST
That there isn't a single synchronized clock/watch here in the philippines. And what's even more sad, is that i've never been out of the country to actually experience synchronized time. The president should have a clock synchronizing day. And it's insane how unsynchronized time is! not just by one minute or five, it reaches to ten! or even twenty minutes!

See i wear a wristwatch, and it's like, it's never the same with any clock i see. And i keep on adjusting it but then i see another clock that's not the same, i'm starting to feel sorry for my watch cuz i think it's getting confused.. i hear japan has synchronized time.. time is such a crucial thing and it being so unstable is driving me nuts. right now my laptop says 11:21 pm but my cellphone clock says 11:19... two minutes.. gaaahh... which one's the right one?!!!

And is it just me? or is time going by waaayy too fast lately... a thirty minute class used to take a lifetime to end but now it goes by like WOOSH you're late, or woosh your unli's expired.. maaan.

And speaking of time.. something weird is happening.. every 4:15 in the morning, i wake up.. with no reason at all. i just wake up.. although last night it was 4:14 when i woke up, but see, we don't really know because none of the clocks are ever synchronized...

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/21256012/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/21256012/ Fri, 31 Oct 2008 21:16:30 PDT
So anyway.. i watched highschool musical three and so they're about to have prom and all that.. and i'm having my prom this year.. and i'm supposed to ask a guy because i have an extremely small school we cant ask our classmates to prom... which i think is extremely lame for a girl to do.. =/ so now i am ranting..

I want to get asked to prom.

I'm not saying this because i'm still bitter about not getting asked two years ago.. HAHA. i'm really not.. no seriously i'm not..

I just think it's fun for a girl to be asked to prom. and yeah it's not a proposal it's only a dance.. but hellooooo it makes you feel special and all.. well at least for a girl.

Although i was never a fan of Disney Princesses, the kind of princesses that go to balls and have prince charmings. I liked tree climbing Pocahontas okay. Haha. but yeah, prom is like Cinderella being asked to the ball by prince charming right?

and no matter what a girl says that she's no fan of the romantic and mushy stuff. THAT's BULL POOPY. Because we were made to look for that..











*not bitter.







haha.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/20054583/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/20054583/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 06:40:55 PDT

It's pretty cool because i'm visual person. I visualize things before i understand it. (Hence, the fail-idge in physics) When the author explains how they look like and what's happening, i like imagining it in my mind like a movie. I know we all do. We all already got mental pictures of how each person looks like, how they sound like and the clothes they wear.




So the idea of a movie of the book is pretty cool, yeah?




Until the movie looks nothing like you imagined.
Now that just pisses me off.



I just found out they made a movie of Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist by Rachel Cohn & David Levithan. If you've read this book, you know how insanely funny and awesome this book is. Watch the trailer. It's kind of depressing.
Michael Cera plays Nick, he isn't how i imagined nick to be.. They got the parts down but they changed it up.. instead of nick asking it becomes norah asking him to be her boyfriend for five minutes. They changed the setting and most of the stuff. oyy... :'(



There have been a million books made into movies, i swear hollywood needs better writers. All they do now are make movie adaptations and remakes of old movies.


All this is depressing but like i said, there have been millions of books made into movies, most of them we've never even read or don't even know were based on books. And hey, they're pretty good.


We all complain and argue but we all know we're going to see it and it's going to be awesome.
Different, but awesome. And we'll live.




So for those fans of Twilight & Harry Potter,


Chill.


Just think it's some new movie not based on a book.




We'll all be happy.


<3, MaxX
Tags: stargirl

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/19818520/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/19818520/ Wed, 06 Aug 2008 23:38:55 PDT
It's it. Nothing you can do about it. Can't change it. Can't avoid it.
Just go with it.


Time it goes on and on and on.


Just gotta ride it. enjoy it. savour it. love it.

It's the only thing we'll have left.

All this, is going to fade..

Time will go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on,



you get the picture,


even after we perish, it goes on. and on..


I'm old.

I wanna love again.

<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/19728442/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/19728442/ Sat, 02 Aug 2008 00:28:28 PDT
Tomorrow i'm taking the university entrance test of my life.


I've always wanted to go to the University Of The Philippines.


I'm scared

I'm old.

<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/19267168/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/19267168/ Tue, 08 Jul 2008 04:30:47 PDT
I have this theory, that if you clap your hands loud enough, even if you miss, the mosquito's ear drum will break and it'll go deaf. and it will hurt it like HELL, causing it go to ballistic and crashing into a wall ending what he knows as life.


That is, if mosquitos had ears.


I'm bored, and i hate physics.
Help.

<3, MAxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/19089545/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/19089545/ Sat, 28 Jun 2008 08:58:16 PDT

And i shall kill you with the triple negatives in my sentences..


<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18671943/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18671943/ Thu, 05 Jun 2008 00:11:59 PDT

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18573334/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18573334/ Fri, 30 May 2008 08:31:36 PDT just in time for tomorrow..



eeEk..

napoleon just added my as his friend....







<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18534595/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18534595/ Tue, 27 May 2008 20:42:38 PDT

I'm supposed to be singing on Saturday... but my voice is missing...


If you see it could you please tell it that i need him before saturday...

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18486866/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18486866/ Sat, 24 May 2008 22:51:08 PDT
]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18203638/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18203638/ Tue, 06 May 2008 20:40:14 PDT

leaving..

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18046530/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18046530/ Sat, 26 Apr 2008 23:08:53 PDT



And I am not wasting my time waiting for you,



Instead i am going out to save the polar bears..



And make good music.




<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18019032/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/18019032/ Fri, 25 Apr 2008 07:59:24 PDT
I'm on my way home from a friend's house when my grandmother calls me..

me: Hello?

Laly(my grandmother): Where are you? (how she says this is always funny)

me: Lapit na.. Five minutes. (be there in five minutes)

Laly: okay... lammo ba napasukan na naman tayo? (someone broke into our house)

me: Hah?!?!?!!?!?!?!? (Everyone in the jeep looks at me)

Laly: kinuha yun gripo (he got the faucet)

me: labo...(i have no idea how to translate this, but i was confused)

Laly: sige uwi ka na..(okay... go home now.)

me: kbye.

okay don't laugh yet.

I was in the jeep worrying maybe the thief got something else but my grandmother didnt notice, my mom's laptop was just there and the door to her room is just open.. I was still scared.

I got home, and i saw the faucet -it was dripping- in the garage, i joked to myself 'maybe this is the one that got stolen'. But it wouldnt be there if it got stolen right?

So my grandmother opens the door, now double locked. I asked her which faucet. and she points to THAT one. The one in the garage. She had it replaced.

...

...

...



I'm confused.

Someone please explain to me..



WHY SOMEONE WOULD GO THROUGH ALL THAT TROUBLE, JUST FOR A FAUCET.

AND!!!!


WHAT THE HELL, COULD YOU POSSIBLE DO WITH A FAUCET?

But like my best friend said, since the new faucet was dripping, maybe the theif got the old one because that one didnt drip..

smart.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17999498/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17999498/ Wed, 23 Apr 2008 21:44:34 PDT


















I need a camera.











Is it just me?! or has dA gone berzerk?! i keep on getting my old messages the ones i've already deleted and i dont get new ones!
I've been changing my signature but it keeps on going back to the old one! And i've been changing my devious information photo but it keeps on going back to the old one.. hulloo?!!?!? what's up with that?!
<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17986265/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17986265/ Wed, 23 Apr 2008 03:58:12 PDT




What?





My love don't cost a thing?







]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17985654/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17985654/ Wed, 23 Apr 2008 01:57:48 PDT



It tastes so much better now..




No more guilt.




No more.

<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17951284/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17951284/ Sun, 20 Apr 2008 21:43:37 PDT











But i'm not.

<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17937161/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17937161/ Sun, 20 Apr 2008 02:19:52 PDT Nothing is like i planned it..
so funny i can stand it..
wish i was made of granite..
i must be on another planet..

I miss my best friend...



































































































He's different now.

<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17872290/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17872290/ Tue, 15 Apr 2008 21:11:32 PDT
I got a thousand hits!


And that's pretty darn awesome..


haha!

considering how long i've been here.. haha, it's about time!

tee hee..

thanks guys..

<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17838258/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17838258/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 19:13:15 PDT
But i will not worry.

For I stand with hope and color.

New Beginnings.


I Am A Rainbow.


<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17756509/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17756509/ Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:48:40 PDT

^_^


<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17661287/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17661287/ Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:45:18 PDT

being a girl is hard.

<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17659572/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17659572/ Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:59:34 PDT


I know that okay?
Don't need to be reminded.

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17643165/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17643165/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:11:28 PDT


<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17613370/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17613370/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 20:02:39 PDT


you know i love you!

<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17519563/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17519563/ Wed, 26 Mar 2008 02:46:17 PDT
I better quit over-analyzing. SERIOUSLY.


it's the second week of summer and so far............ It ain't too bad!

haha..

I'm so giddy!

Love you guys!


<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17487917/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17487917/ Mon, 24 Mar 2008 07:33:59 PDT
What Friend?


I believe you are talking about my pencil.


and it breaks my ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hheart..

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17434390/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17434390/ Thu, 20 Mar 2008 21:59:47 PDT
TABLE TENNIS BABY!

And other lame cliche things like seeing my friends and my crush. but nothing beats table tennis.

Kidding. haha.

Summer update.

It is, officially the second day of summer and I, surprisingly am sort of enjoying the 7th Heaven reruns and the sleeping all day. I really don't have a choice because i have asthma and cant leave the house because the last time i left the house my asthma became worse-er. But if i had a choice and that choice would come to be, i'd rather be at the beach with just my friends getting an awesome tan and checking out hot boys. hiiyeah. OR, just playing table tennis back at school without that annoying prick of a neighbour and that VERY talkative bunny with short hair.

So unlike YOU i am so far enjoying summer and looking forward to awesome things to come. Things can only go uphill from here because i wont allow it to go down.

Review classes schmasses. I'm going going to enjoy my last summer as a highschool student. I am forbidding myself to worry, listen to sad heartbreak songs and think. yes. no thinking.

now i must go and convince my father to teach me how to drive.

<3, MaXx

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17418984/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17418984/ Wed, 19 Mar 2008 23:32:58 PDT But i choose not to say that.
Time, if anything has just begun.
I have just ended my junior highschool year and it was... an experience. One of the worst and best years of my whole life.
I could stay here and type about how ugly life has been to me.. but i wont.

Because for once, i will not be the one who thinks too much.

For once. I will just live life as it goes. And go wherever it takes me.


I'm going to miss you ALOT.

<3, MAxx

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17373490/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17373490/ Mon, 17 Mar 2008 04:17:43 PDT Not the 'i don't want to study part'
The giddy part.

Two days baby!
Two days and i'm free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No more thinking.

Yes. No more thinking. No more waking up at five!!
Sleeping in is the shiznit.

WHERE ARE WE GOING?!?!

TO THE BEACH!!!!!!!!!!!!

k..

So I was thinking, whatever happened. Already happened. And i can sulk all day thinking of has beens and what could have beens but i choose not to.

I saw it coming.

Hurt like hell.


But i'm never one who dwells in unhappiness..


summer baby. here i come.

You know i love you.


<3, MaxX

]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17355660/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17355660/ Sat, 15 Mar 2008 23:48:22 PDT With confirmation of fear comes the reaction..


Now I am not afraid.





]]> ~imasrealasbarney http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17342432/ http://imasrealasbarney.deviantart.com/journal/17342432/ Sat, 15 Mar 2008 06:34:24 PDT
Am.


Numb.



]]> ~imasrealasbarney