http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:ip&section=today deviantART RSS for by:ip en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 08:44:17 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1357616/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1357616/ Tue, 25 Nov 2003 22:29:50 PST ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1338977/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1338977/ Wed, 29 Oct 2003 18:43:15 PST ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1338976/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1338976/ Wed, 29 Oct 2003 18:42:46 PST ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1194216/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1194216/ Thu, 23 Oct 2003 08:59:45 PDT
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous -- yes. The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things -- your family, your partner, your health, your children, your friends, your favourite passions -- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full."

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. Play another 18.

There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal." Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there is always room for a couple of beers! ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1164069/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1164069/ Mon, 15 Sep 2003 07:21:49 PDT ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1127751/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1127751/ Thu, 04 Sep 2003 12:39:40 PDT ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1103779/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1103779/ Wed, 27 Aug 2003 12:38:46 PDT After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) and continued his search for a good paying CANADIAN JOB. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day, Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in.....
CANADA ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1084260/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1084260/ Wed, 20 Aug 2003 20:09:31 PDT We walked hand in hand
On the beachfront, she smiled at me
As she tightly held my hand
I had my finger up her...
Country music played on the radio
So I turned it off and we walked down
To the water, as she grabbed on to my honker
A wave swept us away ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1082857/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1082857/ Wed, 20 Aug 2003 11:24:11 PDT

What do you have to say for yourself ? ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1082854/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1082854/ Wed, 20 Aug 2003 11:23:29 PDT ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1061271/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1061271/ Tue, 12 Aug 2003 12:09:10 PDT

What do you have to say for yourself ? ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1059727/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1059727/ Mon, 11 Aug 2003 20:09:24 PDT

What do you have to say for yourself ? ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1048356/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1048356/ Fri, 08 Aug 2003 07:26:58 PDT

What do you have to say for yourself ? ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1047762/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1047762/ Thu, 07 Aug 2003 18:05:07 PDT
If you can't be good; be good at it.


What do you have to say for yourself ?

]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1047615/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1047615/ Thu, 07 Aug 2003 17:30:28 PDT
If you can't be good; be good at it.


What do you have tosay for yourself ?

]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1043827/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1043827/ Wed, 06 Aug 2003 22:39:11 PDT
If you can't be good; be good at it.


]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1040559/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1040559/ Wed, 06 Aug 2003 08:34:18 PDT
What do you have to say for yourself ?


]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1032156/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1032156/ Mon, 04 Aug 2003 13:42:45 PDT
What do you have to say for yourself ?


]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1018572/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1018572/ Fri, 01 Aug 2003 11:44:07 PDT
What do you have to say for yourself ?


~vnation ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1013012/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1013012/ Thu, 31 Jul 2003 07:55:45 PDT
What do you have to say for yourself ?


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1008391/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/1008391/ Wed, 30 Jul 2003 07:52:43 PDT
What do you have to say for yourself ?


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/995235/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/995235/ Sun, 27 Jul 2003 10:06:13 PDT
It's finally Molson Indy Vancouver race day.


Oh and since somebody decided they were an authority on darn near everything, here's the native .eps file that I used to create Pedro Says [link] which is hosted on MY server. Heck here's even the matching header that was going to go up until the piece didn't get much play [link] Now bite me you dumbass.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/995130/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/995130/ Sun, 27 Jul 2003 09:27:59 PDT
It's finally Molson Indy Vancouver race day.


Oh and since somebody decided they were an authority on darn near everything, here's the native .eps file that I used to create Pedro Says [link] which is hosted on MY server. Heck here's even the matching header that was going to go up until the piece didn't get much play [link] Now bite me you dumbass.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/995114/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/995114/ Sun, 27 Jul 2003 09:24:24 PDT
It's finally Molson Indy Vancouver race day.


Oh and since somebody decided they were an authority on darn near everything, here's the native .eps file that I used to create Pedro Says [link] which is hosted on MY server. Now bite me you dumbass.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/979668/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/979668/ Wed, 23 Jul 2003 17:01:14 PDT
That hurt.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/956362/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/956362/ Thu, 17 Jul 2003 15:08:46 PDT
Times is money. We all know that tired old cliche; but that doesn't make it any less relavent. Time spent browsing dA is somewhat scarce these days, especially as there's no money to be made in ths time; increasing its value.

So if I'm slow offering thanks, or other requisite activites, it's because of the premium of time. I'll do my best, you have my word on that. But I guess the bottom line is it's summer; and who wants to spend all day in front of the computer with so many scantily clad women flocking about.

Well there's my $0.02 for the day. Have a good one.


Johnny Rocket needs some love.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/955998/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/955998/ Thu, 17 Jul 2003 13:12:15 PDT
Times is money. We all know that tired old cliche; but that doesn't make it any less relavent. Time spent browsing dA is somewhat scarce these days, especially as there's no money to be made in ths time; increasing its value.

So if I'm slow offerning thanks, or other requisite activites, it's because of the premium of time. I'll do my best, you have my word on that. But I guess the bottom line is it's summer; and who wants to spend all day in front of the computer with so many scantily clad women flocking about.

Well there's my $0.02 for the day. Have a good one.


Johnny Rocket needs some love.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/931425/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/931425/ Thu, 10 Jul 2003 20:30:10 PDT

...I'm well aware that I have much catching up to do.


I live my life striving for it to end in neither cemetary nor penitentiary.



Johnny Rocket needs some love.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/880376/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/880376/ Thu, 26 Jun 2003 21:19:30 PDT
I live my life striving for it to end in neither cemetary nor penitentiary.



Johnny Rocket needs some love.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/880347/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/880347/ Thu, 26 Jun 2003 21:11:52 PDT
I live my life striving for it not to end in neither cemetary nor penitentiary.



Johnny Rocket needs some love.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/844156/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/844156/ Tue, 17 Jun 2003 09:17:54 PDT
Obituary for Common Sense


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't Spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, Not kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Report of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled it in her lap, and was awarded a lot of money. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.



Johnny Rocket needs some love.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/827005/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/827005/ Thu, 12 Jun 2003 18:31:50 PDT
Johnny Rocket needs some love.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/786869/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/786869/ Mon, 02 Jun 2003 08:23:37 PDT
1. Advertising is more of a science than an art.

True or False

There are two schools of thought here. Many agencies believe that advertising is a science— that with the right formula, you can always achieve results. This type of advertising usually features lots of "rational benefits"— and very little entertainment value. The truth is, scientific advertising does get results. Just look at the success of The Brick. But while scientific ads may sell plenty of dining room sets in the short term, they're not very effective at building strong connections with consumers. For that, you need advertising that has an emotional component. It needs to be engaging, and entertaining, as well as relevant and convincing. You want consumers to fall in love with your brand. And love, as any poet will tell you, is much more of an art than a science.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/771841/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/771841/ Thu, 29 May 2003 01:02:18 PDT
I love birds... they can fly and look at the world without our bullshit. Matter of fact, they shit on us. I really admire them.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/759793/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/759793/ Sun, 25 May 2003 20:35:20 PDT
(__)
(oo)
/-------\/
/ | ||
* ||----||
^^ ^^



iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/759792/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/759792/ Sun, 25 May 2003 20:34:40 PDT
(__)
(oo)
/-------\/
/ | ||
* ||----||
^^ ^^



iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/729830/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/729830/ Fri, 16 May 2003 20:09:46 PDT
Now THAT'S freedom baby

Owning a satellite dish in Iraq used to mean six months in prison. Since Saddam's defeat, Iraq's markets have been overflowing with $250 decoders. The main attraction? The 18 foreign porn channels available in the Gulf region.


LONG Weekend!!

Means 4 days of snowboarding, chicks, drinking and hot tubs.
(in no particular order)




iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/708263/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/708263/ Sat, 10 May 2003 15:25:47 PDT
English as a second f*cking language

Fuck is the mother of all words. Short and effective, it gets to the root of creation. The euphemisms for fuck are cumbersome and inexact. One example will make our point:

example:
Romeo: I want to engage in sexual intercourse with you.
Juliet: Sorry, I don't have time. I thought you just wanted to fuck.

Some Romeo! What a namby-pamby mouthful! In the time it takes to say it, you could fuck a half-dozen times.

Fuck is sometimes called the F-Word. Avoid that term. Just say fuck.

fuck
The word's meaning, both as noun and verb, is sexual and positive. However, many of its extended, nonsexual meanings can be negative.

example:
Sigmund: How come you're mad at Carl?
Rudolph: The no-good fuck fucked me out of ten dollars.

fuck around
This sometimes means to fuck people other than your mate. It can also mean to engage in idle fun.

example:
Dwight: Phoebe, dear, were you fucking around with anyone while I was at the shoe-clerk convention?
Phoebe: Gosh no, honey. I spent my time fucking around by myself in the garden.
Dwight: Odd. I found a used condom under our bed, and it wasn't mine.
Phoebe: Huh, where do you suppose it came from?

fuck it
The nonsexual meaning is similiar to "the hell with it." It's a useful term for dismissing non-essential or irrelevant matters.

example:
Nadine: Arnold, if we don't pay this phone bill by noon today, they'll shut off our service.
Arnold: Fuck it. There's no one I want to talk to anyway.

fuck up
As a noun, fuck-up referes to a botched situation or an incompetent person. As a verb, fuck up refers to the action that caused it.

example:
Henry: That job turned out to be a real fuck-up.
Eugene: That's because that fuck-up Jackson was in charge. He could fuck-up a wet dream.

fuck you!
This is one of the most useful phrases in the lexicon of swears. It eliminates the need to argue- or even reason- with people whose purposes or opinions are different from your own.

example:
Marcel: Could you spare $5 to support the charity foundation?
Frank: Fuck you!

example:
Officer: I'm sorry I had to ticket you, but the radar clocked you at five miles over the limit. Have a nice day!
Mark: Fuck you!

fuck analysis

Night at the Opera
John: Mary, would you like to attend the opera this evening?
Mary: Fucking-A. Should I wear my black dress?
John: Why the fuck not?
Mary: Fucked if I know. Oh fuck! I just remembered. It got all fucked up in the wash.
John: Well, fuck the opera, let's stay home and fuck.
Mary: Good fucking idea.

1. Fucking-A: This is a strong affirmation.
2. the fuck: This is an intensifier.
3. Fucked: This is short for "I'll be fucked if I know," which has nothing to do with actual fucking. It's the equivalent of "damned if I know," which has nothing to do with damnation. In other words: "I don't know."
4. Oh fuck!: This is an interjection. The Oh isn't necessary; Fuck by itself is a complete interjection.
5. fucked up: This means damaged.
6. fucked up: Here, fuck is used in a negative sense, similiar to, "The hell with the opera."
7. fuck: Here, fuck is used in its primary sense.
8. fucking: A novice might think the intended meaning is: "This is a good idea about fucking." In fact fucking in the sexual sense isn't intended; the word is merely an intensifier. And a good fucking one at that.

Proudly display this work on your coffee table.



iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/701014/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/701014/ Thu, 08 May 2003 10:03:14 PDT
So much for retiring rich.

Or, really, retiring at all. "If you invest $15,000 now and $200 monthly at 6.00%, you'll be a millionaire in 67 years at the age of 98. To be a millionaire at age 60, you'll need to: increase the amount you invest now to $275,353, or increase your monthly investment to to $1,461, or acheive a rate of return of 17.56%. When adjusted for inflation, $1 million in 67 years would be equivelant to $141,730 today." Let the Motley Fool Calculator ruin your day too.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/696599/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/696599/ Tue, 06 May 2003 23:51:49 PDT
25 Signs Showing You Might be Canadian

1. You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK".
2. You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."
3. You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.
4. You drink Pop, not Soda.
5. You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean
6. You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars .
7. You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.
8. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
9. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers. 10. You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.
11. You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
12. You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion & many more, are Canadians.
13. You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!
14. You know what a touque is.
15. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
16. You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee"
17. Your local newspaper covers the national news on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
18. You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road work.
19. You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.
20. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
21. You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan". (Sas-Kat-chew-wan)
22. You perk up when you hear the theme song from 'Hockey Night in Canada'.
23. You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.
24. "Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary, and is more polite than,"Huh?"
25. You actually understand these jokes, and copy them to email all of your Canadian friends!!!! and then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them...further (hehe)


*The jury's still out on the whole Celine Dion thing though...





iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/676803/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/676803/ Wed, 30 Apr 2003 22:46:02 PDT
Some songs are just meant to rock without reading anything into them.

Others have more clearly defined attributes.

While some are simply for the hell of it.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/670263/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/670263/ Mon, 28 Apr 2003 23:47:46 PDT
NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!

Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28.

"We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a pathological liar," says an SEC insider.

"But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck.

"The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources."

The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall Street watchdogs.

"If a company's stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow knew about it in advance," says the SEC source close to the hush-hush, ongoing investigation.

When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more than they bargained for: A mind-boggling four-hour confession.

Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune.

"It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. "I had planned to make it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in the moment."

In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.

All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time craft."

However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss how it works, supposedly out of fear the technology could "fall into the wrong hands."

Officials are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."

Weekly World News will continue to follow this story as it unfolds. Keep watching for further developments.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/664415/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/664415/ Sun, 27 Apr 2003 10:15:15 PDT

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/648628/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/648628/ Tue, 22 Apr 2003 14:25:00 PDT
I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on her tombstone

From the beginning...to the end.



He noted that first came her date of birth

And spoke the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years.

(1976-2003)

For that dash represents all the time

That she spent alive on earth...

And now only those who loved her

Know what that little line is worth.



For it matters not, how much we own;

The cars...the house...the cash,

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.



So think about this long and hard...

Are there things you'd like to change?

For you never know ! how much time is left,

That can still be rearranged.



If we could just slow down enough

To consider what's true and real,

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.



And be less quick to anger,

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we've never loved before.



If we treat each other with respect,

And more often wear a smile..

Remembering that this special dash

May last only a little while.



So, when your eulogy's being read

With your life's actions to rehash...

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent your dash?



And anybody whos ever heard the term art used in conversation should see THIS.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/645700/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/645700/ Mon, 21 Apr 2003 17:37:00 PDT
Well it's now warm enough to be considered summer so everyone should be hitting the beach. Or at the very least listening to this


And anybody that takes art too seriously should see THIS.

iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/645105/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/645105/ Mon, 21 Apr 2003 14:37:09 PDT
I want this [link]


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/640338/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/640338/ Sun, 20 Apr 2003 08:14:24 PDT
But just cause it's easter doesn't mean that you should put all your eggs in one basket.


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/635280/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/635280/ Fri, 18 Apr 2003 16:32:07 PDT
Two of these following three facts are true. Which one is false?

1) Until 1967, LSD was legal in California!

2) 15 million blood cells are destroyed in the human body every second!

3) Canada was the very first country to ever use postcards!

iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/619058/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/619058/ Sun, 13 Apr 2003 14:46:57 PDT
It's dangerous to say it, but nice people are a nuisance, constantly imposing their values and preferences on others. And they usually get their way.

Because they are extremely aware of their own feelings, though, nice people come off as highly sensitive. That makes it seem obligatory to treat them with tender regard. Who wants to do or say anything hurtful to someone so pleasant? It doesn't matter how impervious they actually are to the feelings of others (especially others deemed not-so-nice) or how imperious they are in asserting their own point of view. Deference is due the nice lest their feelings be hurt.

Worse, most people are too intimidated to say "no" because the nice, when they don't get their way, get their pound of flesh. If you resist you are branded as mean, and you probably carry an inward load of guilt as well for stepping on such delicate toes.

Nice people know this, consciously or otherwise, and they use it. It's not a case of passive-aggressiveness, it's pure aggressive. Consider how the nice insist that everyone conform to their view of what people should be doing or how they should be acting and feeling. They have no compunction about openly criticizing others in ways that would normally be considered totally rude. They insist that everyone follow their preferred rituals and activities, however onerous. People can't help but favor those who present themselves so forcefully as sweet and sensitive.

If you openly object to any of this, holding the nice to ordinary standards of behavior, you are made out to be cantankerous, and probably a bully. Stand in the way of the nice and you will likely be ostracized, revealed as the arrogant fool you are. People would rather accede to the nice person's self-centered and platitudinous view of the world than deal with the moral complexity of criticism.

iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/614107/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/614107/ Fri, 11 Apr 2003 19:41:50 PDT
2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT . (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)

7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.

9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.

13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem, you didn't see nothin'.

15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

19 . It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.

20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

22. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

23. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting:
"Yeah, baby, push it!"
"C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"
"Another set and we can hit the showers."
"Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"

24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your response.

27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

28. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not, unless you are gay.


Accompanying Song


iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/613407/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/613407/ Fri, 11 Apr 2003 14:51:06 PDT
So I'll just leave y'all with a song. It's a relatively new take on a real American classic.

Time After Time.

Relax and enjoy your weekend.

[EDIT: Position filled. Thanks to those who expressed interest] Could still use a nurse to spoon feed my jello and ice cream though...



iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/605486/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/605486/ Tue, 08 Apr 2003 19:47:30 PDT
So, I was eating a sandwich. Yes a sandwich, a Club Sandwich to be precise. Yeah yeah it's downhill from here... anyways, taking delicious bite after bite a sharp piercing pain shoots through my jaw. It seems that I have managed to stab myself with an unusually sharp piece of bacon. Yes, bacon.

After much blood and deliberation I find myself heading for the dentist not knowing whether this is an appropriate action to take or not. Fearing an unbridled bout of laughter from the professional I seek, I sit not overly patiently (and in much pain) in the waiting room for my turn. As it turns out it is a good thing that I can barely speak as I wouldn't know where to start explaining that I've been accosted by an extremely vicious shard of meat.

Anyways, to summize, a couple stitches later I've had my first serious (in my mind it is okay) injury and can now barely open my mouth to speak, much less curse. Of all the sports I've played, mountains I frequently barrel down snowboarding, cars I've raced and airplanes I've jumped out of; it's the bacon that did me in. Damn damn bacon. Poor poor me.

Now I just need me that nurse to spoon feed my jello and ice cream.

iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/600976/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/600976/ Mon, 07 Apr 2003 11:08:08 PDT GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 20 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 21 and 30 a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35 she is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40 a woman is like France. Gently aging but still a warm an desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50 she is like Yugoslavia, lost the war - haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia, very wide and borders are unpatrolled. The frigid climate keeps people away.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia, with a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.

After 70, they are like Afghanistan. Most everyone knows were it is, but no one wants to go there.

iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/582473/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/582473/ Mon, 31 Mar 2003 16:56:21 PST
But I just don't wanna.



iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/570862/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/570862/ Wed, 26 Mar 2003 22:20:55 PST
iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/570394/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/570394/ Wed, 26 Mar 2003 18:43:01 PST
Everyone is, of course, entitled to their opinions - but when it's based on conjecture, speculation, or third-party ideologies - said opinion cannot be expected to be taken seriously.

See, now somehow, I managed to get my entire point across without bringing any side of the political arguements into question. How friggin hard was that?

END RANT.

iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/561865/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/561865/ Sun, 23 Mar 2003 09:15:51 PST
They're all men!

How in the name of the United Nations does anyone expect men to find Saddam's stash? We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes to finding things. For crying' out loud! Men can't find the dirty clothes hamper. Men can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the cupboard and splatters on the floor....and these are the people we have sent into Iraq to search for hidden weapons of mass destruction? I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in.

Mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of dope. Mothers can find gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic beneath the rafters. They can sniff out a diary two rooms and one floor away. They can tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and notice when a quarter inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake. A mother can smell alcohol on your breath before you get your key in the front door and can smell cigarette smoke from a block away. By examining laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than Sherlock Holmes. And if a mother wants an answer to question, she can read an offender's eyes quicker than a homicide detective.

So...considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection team, why are we sending a bunch of old men who will rely on electronic equipment to scout out hidden threats?

My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand, grab Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist and snap, "Young man, do you have any weapons of mass destruction?" And God help him if he tried to lie to her. She'd march him down the street to some secret bunker and shove his nose into a nuclear bomb and say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this, mister?" Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap! And she would lay some stripes across his bare bottom with that soup spoon, then march him home in front of the whole of Baghdad. He would not only come clean and apologize for lying about it, he would cut every lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole damn summer.

Inspectors my ass... You want the job done? Call my mother

iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/560158/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/560158/ Sat, 22 Mar 2003 13:51:18 PST
iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/558178/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/558178/ Fri, 21 Mar 2003 15:11:43 PST
iP ]]> ~ip http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/539096/ http://ip.deviantart.com/journal/539096/ Wed, 12 Mar 2003 07:32:27 PST
- Regis Philbin


"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."

- David Letterman

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."

- Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"

- Jay Leno

iP ]]> ~ip