http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:j-m-s&section=today deviantART RSS for by:j-m-s en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 30 Dec 2009 07:10:17 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/27310865/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/27310865/ Sun, 20 Sep 2009 00:26:29 PDT
My beliefs are solely based on my experience here on this earth because that's all I have and all I could ever hope to understand. There may or may not be more to this, but if there is it is beyond my control and comprehension, so I cannot be expected to factor it in. So this is how I see it...

Humans are the most advanced beings that we know of, but we are too intelligent to just leave it at that. Self awareness comes at a cost. We need Gods. We need to strive after the unattainable to keep us from collapsing under the harsh realities of the universe.

Humans are capable of great feats over nature and we conquer everything we come across. We are gods.

We are gods in our own right and we are so intelligent and self aware that we can acknowledge our limitations, and this is why seek and worship perfection. We know our limitations and we always want what we can never have (immortality etc).

What we do have is now. It's normal to want more than now.. nobody wants to admit to living a meaningless existence and fight through a life of intense experience for naught. The tragic reality of the human story is that it all boils down to what every other living organism does.. we live, consume, propagate, and die. We are the greatest, but in the big scheme of things we aren't really that great at all. All that we have is the reality we know and because I am smart enough to know I won't live forever in the reality I know, hope in anything is an investment that yields no returns.

Let's suppose there is an afterlife.. do you really want to live forever in some sort of perfect reality that religions promise you?

It sounds appealing now because of what we know. We know pain. We know toil. We know we will die. A life without pain and suffering? really? Would we even be able to appreciate the good if there was no bad?

The notion seems so far from the reality on which it depends upon. It just doesn't make sense.

Also, eternal damnation. It doesn't scare me. Why? Because it's detached from the reality I know.. I can't empathise with my own soul burning forever.It might as well be another person's soul for all I know or care. Same with heaven or paradise or whatever, it isn't actually me in heaven, it's just some soul I happened to be in possession of through no choice of my own having a good old time while everything I know and love in the here and now just rots away. The cost-benefit ratio of religion is not appealing to me at all considering the huge investment of time and resources.

There positive side to it though. Religion, hope etc. does have its benefits. Religion has the potential to enrich peoples lives in many ways. That is something I do admire, that through life's struggle of pointless existence and denial of fate people still have standards and expectations and discipline and all those genuinely godlike qualities that we humans are capable of and that we humans are noble enough to pursue them.

Belief is very powerful, whether it's true or not may actually be irrelevant, but it is important to believe in something. Anything! Otherwise we are no different to any other living organism.. living, breeding, dying. Yay!

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/23941662/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/23941662/ Sat, 28 Mar 2009 21:18:36 PDT
If you are one of those people, heed this:
If you care about the welfare of your cat then you should keep it indoors or in an enclosure. It will live much longer.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/23512861/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/23512861/ Tue, 03 Mar 2009 18:12:26 PST
It's harder than ever to spend your time wisely without being distracted. In an information age we should be stocking up on as much useful information as possible and using it to enrich our lives and make a difference, but all we seem to do is over-stimulate ourselves with wave after wave of temporal information that has no real purpose other than distracting us from the important things that really matter.

So what is it that really matters?
I'm not sure. Until I find out I think I'll just keep indulging in the mind numbing, wasteful, generic, and debased.



]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/22426297/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/22426297/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 01:14:08 PST
]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/21461645/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/21461645/ Wed, 12 Nov 2008 21:03:06 PST
I really want to settle down somewhere for good this time, but for some reason that never seems to work out. We'll see. I might be without internet for a while and not be able to respond to messages, but hey what else is new I'm hardly active here anyway.

It'll be awesome not having the internet or any phones or fixed address'.. I'll be unreachable for a few weeks at least and get some much needed peace and quiet before trying to find some work up there.

I love these crazy last minute decisions.. you never quite know where you'll end up.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/21223495/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/21223495/ Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:45:22 PDT
You're not invincible, but you're as close to it as you'll ever be.

Even if your mistakes involve injury or death it isn't so bad. If you get injured you recover quicker than most and if you die you serve as an example to your peers. It's great.

Why worry about things in the prime of your life when it actually matters least?
There's plenty of time for regret later.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/20092662/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/20092662/ Fri, 22 Aug 2008 09:11:25 PDT
People drink, get charged up on their own testosterone, and suddenly think they are the best fighter in the world and start fights with the next closest person.

Stepping in to break up a fight.. no matter how noble you think it is.. will only end in victimisation. If you're the only person between one drunk and another they turn on you and you cop a beating.. sometimes from both sides.

Being the mediator does not work. Breaking up fights puts you in a world of pain. Copping a glass ashtray to the side of your head really hurts. Turning up to job interviews with lumps on your head is not a good look.

Stay out of it. Let them fight their own battles.
Let your friends make their own bed and sleep in it. Sticking up for them is not worth the trouble.

Never doing that ever again.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/20070747/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/20070747/ Thu, 21 Aug 2008 01:59:39 PDT
At first I was walking around attending to my daily affairs.. and random people would approach me asking me if I could hook them up with this and that. I thought it as random junkies just asking to score and I told them I couldn't help them and I was on my way.

Now.. everywhere I go... people I have never met are nodding at me, giving me right of way on the road.. random strangers are approaching me in admiration and talk to me about the things they've done and what they can do and if I can get them stuff.. and it has nothing to do with me at all!

This is scary.

I cant even walk into shops without people approaching/avoiding me. I didn't ask for this. They think I am someone else. When they find out I am not that person they're gonna be very angry.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18775634/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18775634/ Tue, 10 Jun 2008 22:46:46 PDT Pay Processor
Deputy Associate
Audio Visual Vaults Officer (yes please!)
Executive Assistant
Policy Officer
Recoveries Manager
Adverse Experience Reviewer (hahaha)

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18647210/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18647210/ Tue, 03 Jun 2008 15:06:22 PDT I do.

There is a massive communication gap between us all.
Once I thought I could learn communication be it verbal, visual, auditory or even just with touch and gestures, but as time goes by and I develop as a person I realise I am not capable of true effective communication with other people.

Why?
Because pure communication requires a true understanding. An understanding that we all lack.

We don't even understand ourselves, so how can we truly understand others enough to truly communicate with them?

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18591034/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18591034/ Sat, 31 May 2008 09:51:38 PDT
]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18563425/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18563425/ Thu, 29 May 2008 16:25:58 PDT You can't stroll through any modern suburb without finding abandoned shopping trolleys scattered across the sidewalks, gullies, and gutters.

Some would be quick to label these shopping carts as eyesores, but it's not all bad news.
As well as serving as a testament to our consumer culture they serve an even more a practical purpose when tipped on their sides and jumped on. Enter the trolley pole.

Every shopping trolley you see is a potential melee weapon. Whoever designed the modern shopping trolley is a genius. Courtesy of the big supermarket companies everyone in the suburbs has access to a means of breaking limbs and bludgeoning other people's heads in. In a completely free and convenient manner, I might add.

And where I come from, your best method of defence/offence on short notice is as close as the nearest shopping trolley.
Whoever designed those things is a genius. Thank you.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18409343/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18409343/ Tue, 20 May 2008 03:27:52 PDT
They had the potential to be great people and their opportunity was cut short before them, but people still judge them on what they had achieved within their own life's timespan. With only partial sympathy at best do they carry out their condolences. Although they lost a great friend who had their whole life before them, they still maintain the same life motivation and keep at their own struggle and get on with their own lives as something separate to any real loss, but even despite that, they fail to regard the example set before them.

I still remember them and almost everything they said to me, yet I can't come to terms with it. Yet they can, almost easily.

Any one of us could slip away at any minute, but would we have anything to show for it?

According to our peers, apparently not. Who even truly remembers them?

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18283167/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18283167/ Mon, 12 May 2008 02:45:59 PDT
In short. I lost my job, lost my computer and a lot of irreplaceable data. Lost my digital portfolio works. Lost contact with the girl I've been hanging out with these last few weeks. And I'm absolutely broke and in debt with the banks. All in the space of one week!

I can't believe how suddenly things have gotten this bad.
It's absolutely killing my credit rating and my sanity but there's nothing much I can do.. I suppose it's just a series of unfortunate events.

Worse things have happened to me and I'll get through this too eventually.. It's just the financial insecurity and uncertainty I can't stand. It's all so very frustrating not knowing how you are going to survive between jobs with debt looming over your shoulders.

Incidentally there was a long traceable chain of events that connected all these events. All these misfortunes are connected to each other in very direct ways, but it was still unforeseeable. There is nothing I could have done to prevent it.

It's all so very creepy.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18080652/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18080652/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 03:09:33 PDT
Buying other 'alternative' substances off the black market used to be okay, but not any more. The police are getting active and the dealers are getting raided a lot recently so the prices have skyrocketed so even the most competitive of dealers are raising their prices!

Even the price of food is going up massively! These days if you want to buy good food you have to pay extra, cause now everything that has any nutritional value to it is labelled as being good for you and they use this to justify their exorbitant prices. If you want food that is affordable you have to buy cheap sloppy foods that will kill you before your next visit to the loo. And even those aren't what one would call cheap in price.

I feel that the public is being rauted. They turned us into a generation of overstimulated obese alcoholic drug users and now everything we define our lives by has tripled in price! It's just not fair.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18048464/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/18048464/ Sun, 27 Apr 2008 03:55:44 PDT It's kind of depressing. There's so much I haven't accomplished yet. 21 years and mostly all I have to show for it is mistakes! Haha, oh well. We can't all be good at life I suppose.

Still got a bit of time left to do something nice with my life, so it's not all doom and gloom.

Today I set up a blog where I'll be uploading drawings regularly, so if you're interested in looking at some of my recent drawings you'll be able to find them here for the time being:
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[link]
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I also have a portfolio website on the way containing some of my more polished illustrations and designs as well as my professional corporate designs, so of course I'll put the link up for that too when it goes live.

And for those who cant be bothered clicking the above link here are a few direct links to one or two of my newest drawings:

[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]

There are a few hidden bits of imagery most of them so if you stare at it long enough you might find some weird and wonderful stuff in some of them including SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/17946785/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/17946785/ Sun, 20 Apr 2008 15:28:01 PDT
I've been experimenting with different medium lately and much to my own amusement I discovered that you can draw and paint with earth quite effectively. Using dirt of different colours you just add water and a bit of imagination and there you have it!

Not quite as clean as paint, and grainy enough to destroy all of your best homemade brushes to be sure, but unlike paint dirt is free and in abundance and its not harmful to the environment (if you care about that sort of thing ha!) !


Besides all this it forces you to use your brain to come up with good ideas since your pallet is rather restricted. Forcing creativity doesn't sound like a good thing, but it is.

Restriction allows you to flex your imagination. Working within boundaries to make the best with what you have is one of the best things to grow your creativity.

More as the methods develop.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/17824825/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/17824825/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 02:50:19 PDT
At school I kind of neglected a lot of topics because the way it was taught didn't interest me, but now I am discovering everything for myself again from scratch and reading about our amazing universe and the delicate balance of life and society and philosophy and science and it's all mind-blowing. I can't get enough of it.

Some of the things that the worlds great minds are delving into these days has the potential to completely change the way we look at life, and still most people choose to not understand it. All these amazing frontiers we are on and still most of us are content with just accepting what we already know, but there is so much more out there! Once you actively seek out all this obscure knowledge of the world it's truly amazing!

Anyway.. tomorrow is my first day at work at this web design company. The people there seem nice and although web design isn't my area of expertise I really like it and the potential for me to prove myself and learn new skills is massive, which is exactly what I need. So I hope that goes well. Also I'm applying for a few other different jobs and trying to make a good impression and actively network with people. Anything I see that moves me forward: I'm chasing it.

Now I feel motivated again and hopefully with a bit of hard work things will all slowly start falling into place.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/17732280/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/17732280/ Mon, 07 Apr 2008 13:42:58 PDT
Someone told me it was to stop small children from eating it, but I'm not sure that's the reason. It's a weak excuse to make something so vital to dental hygiene taste so bad. With all the technology available to us you'd think we'd be able to improve the taste of toothpaste even just a little.

Anyway.. the point I'm trying to make is that I'd probably brush my teeth a bit more often if toothpaste didn't make me want to vomit.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/17639281/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/17639281/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 17:52:08 PDT I've been spending all my time on personal projects which you'll be glad to know do not all include sleeping in, drinking, and eating food all day.

Since I stopped submitting stuff here a short while ago I've drawn literally 200+ sketches. Probably about 10 of them are good and the others have stupendous ideas in them that the world just isn't ready for (haha).

Now I have to acquire a scanner to scan them all in.. and then also re-scan and re-work some of my older things for my upcoming website. Which I haven't even built yet because I can't for the life of me come up with a nice catchy name for it.

My overseas job references got translated too and they look bloody awesome. They describe me as being a diligent, co-operative, and an all around exemplary co-worker (truth be told they used to tell me to run coffee errands to my displeasure and so I'd always taint their coffee with various bodily secretions while they weren't looking).

I've also re-typed my resume to make myself look better on paper. The last one I typed up after one and a half bottles of wine and it was full of errors. Under job related skills it had stuff like origami and things like that.
It's all fixed now though.

Recently I went on an awesome holiday for a week with some mates and stayed in a massive holiday house which was riiight on the beach. I also got my RSA licence. Still working on getting a provisional drivers licence. I also let my boat licence expire cause I don't really own any boats ..so like what's the point in owning a boat licence right? I don't know.

I have my 21st birthday coming up soon. Nothing will really change except my legal age, but there's the question of whether or not to throw a massive party. Usually I'll take any excuse to have a party, but this one scares me cause I know if I have a party there will be trouble.

My last proper party was at 18, and I invited over 200 people.
About 50 people came and went, and about 10 of them stayed for the whole duration.
There was firebreathing, drug peddling, burns victims, loud fireworks, loud music, profanity, broken furniture, open fires.. it was crazy. Not all of the guests liked each other and some of them hadn't seen each other in years (and owed each other massive amounts of money ). And of all the 200+ people I invited, only 3 of them brought presents! That party also took me 2 days to clean up. As fun as the party was I'm not in the mood for doing that again any time soon. Too much liability.

Besides there's really no time for that...
I have to go do adult stuff now

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/17535677/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/17535677/ Thu, 27 Mar 2008 04:16:33 PDT @ world economy

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/17064646/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/17064646/ Mon, 25 Feb 2008 20:07:55 PST Computer games have almost filled the little void in my life which used to be filled by work.

They are little time wasting distractions, but when you are unemployed you have all the time in the world to play them, and it's a lot of fun.

So I spend several hours a day playing one game or another trying to find another puzzle piece, learning level maps instinctively, collecting better pickups, beating my own high scores, exploring through a complex storyline, finding bugs and hidden content, devising the best possible strategies, testing the game engine, customizing content, designing my own levels, making mods.. it never ends.

It's kind of like what television's effect on the brain, except this is more addictive because it involves interaction and is uninterrupted by advertisement.

I can't stop because it's just so much fun and I'm turning into one of those nerdy nerd people who never see sunlight and have poor hygiene, but I can't afford to worry about that right now because I need to get to the next level.



]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/16824187/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/16824187/ Sun, 10 Feb 2008 20:37:55 PST Not only are they visually displeasing and distracting, but I don't want to have my own work so closely associated with advertising which I do not endorse and have absolutely no control over just so I can gain a bit of exposure. It's just not worth it for me.

I am also of the opinion that deviantART do not offer enough useful features to make it worthwhile subscribing, and since I cannot otherwise remove these annoying ads from my gallery, I am going to remove the gallery from the ads.

I'm really sorry to anyone who might miss seeing my work, but you can thank deviantART for that.

If they wanted more people to subscribe they should work on improving things for subscribers and give them something more for their money. Instead they are trying to pressure people into subscribing by making the galleries of non-subscribers look less appealing, and I think that's wrong. Since the content and the selling point of this site is almost entirely user-submitted I really think they should start treating their users a little more like people. One day they will learn this the hard way. After all we don't need deviantART, deviantART needs us.


500+deviantions and scraps.. it'll be a shame to phase them out after almost 6 years, but it's better than turning my work into just another revenue generator.. especially a revenue generator for other people.

I don't want to keep on complaining, it's not worth my time or my energy.. instead I'm going to do something about it.. and this really is the only viable solution.

Thanks to those who enjoyed looking at my artwork over the years. It's been fun.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/16782633/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/16782633/ Fri, 08 Feb 2008 10:04:14 PST
So here it is...
Thank you everyone!

Words are cheap, but hey there's nothing wrong with cheap so long as it's effective right?

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/16649580/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/16649580/ Wed, 30 Jan 2008 19:11:13 PST
Work itself is good. I always enjoy my work and have never been afraid to work hard for my money, but its the job hunting process that gets me down. It's just so time consuming and mostly unrewarding.

Going out of your way to sell yourself to people, cold calling, following up on potential jobs, writing resumes and applications, talking yourself up, showing off, being competitive, nagging people, sucking up to people, forcing a positive attitude, telling people what they want to hear ...

It's not in my nature to do these things, but that's what is expected of you if you want a chance at a good job these days. Looking for work is such a tedious drawn out process of desperation. Stressful and demotivating.

I just want to work hard and get paid.
Is that too much to ask?

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/16586528/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/16586528/ Sat, 26 Jan 2008 19:19:57 PST
The mind keeps working even as you sleep to foster your perceptions and create reality. Maybe I've tapped into my mind so much that my dreams are becoming real.

Every day there's something new to be discovered and everything I am exposed to helps me fuel both my mind and my obsessive escapism.

The mind is a wonderful thing. So wonderful that nobody should ever be bored. Ever.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/16528875/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/16528875/ Tue, 22 Jan 2008 20:51:54 PST "What would you do if you had a million dollars?"

A million dollars. Sounds like a lot of money doesn't it?
Well, it isn't really.

At the moment I live off around $200 AUD a week. That's the amount of money I need to cover food, rent, gas, electricity, water, and nothing else. The essentials.

Add household items, appliances, entertainment, clothes, tools, luxury items, service fees, transport and taxes and at this rate I will easily spend over a million dollars by the time I am 80 years old and still be viewed as part of the underclass.

Even if I maintain this lousy lifestyle and manage to live long enough under these conditions I will have spent over a million dollars in my lifetime - without even having anything to show for it!

What a waste of a million dollars.

This got me thinking...
If I already use a million dollars over a lifetime only to cover basic living, what would I do with an extra million? Do I really need it? What difference would it make?

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/16342431/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/16342431/ Thu, 10 Jan 2008 11:16:58 PST
Mine was fun. Met lots of new people and saw new places.

While I was travelling I got stuck in the aftermath of a tropical cyclone and then later on got trapped in a flooded town and helped people board up their houses and prepare for a mass evacuation. Exciting stuff.

We got to stay in a 5 star apartment up at the Whitsunday Islands for free where I could annoy old rich people with my uncivil antics (divebombing the pool anyone?). I was hanging out with my cool friends who lead active lives so that kind of rubbed off on me.

Everywhere we went people were friendly and gave us discounts on stuff.. and so I have concluded that being around happy healthy young good looking people in turn makes you happy healthy and good looking too. It works!

I also started learning how to play the drums and a bit of guitar which I was previously never able to do. I've never been naturally good at music, so I have to work twice as hard to learn half as much, but its a lot of much fun learning about music and unlocking new skills and creative perspectives etcetera.

Along with staying in odd lonely places and driving on long roads comes the opportunity to do some thinking. So I've been thinking about a lot of deep things and searching inward and outward to learn new things about life. This is probably boring for most people, but for me learning and thinking is the highlight of my life. I feel enlightened a little.

Whoa. I probably have a million things I could write about right now, but this will have to do. No time no time. It's back to everyday life. Time to find a job.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15910969/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15910969/ Wed, 12 Dec 2007 23:03:31 PST
And so I wish you all a nice holiday season. Make the best of it.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15768159/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15768159/ Sun, 02 Dec 2007 16:48:29 PST
Busy sleeping in the hammock. Busy having barbecues and drinking beer. Busy growing a beard and not getting dressed in the mornings. Busy playing games, busy watching movies, busy listening to music, busy gawking lustfully at young women and their not-so-modest summer clothing. It never ends!

Doing nothing looks easy, but it is very time consuming.
Seriously, I don't even know what day of the week it is today. I don't really care what day of the week it is either. All I know is that I have nothing planned and it feels great!

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15644704/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15644704/ Sat, 24 Nov 2007 04:25:40 PST Therefore, I hate forming political opinions, but apparently I was allowed to vote on this year's election. So now I'm trying to be more politically minded.

One of my house mates has a certain firm political conviction and he believes that every vote counts. So just to annoy him I proved that his vote was useless, by voting for the exact opposite political party that he voted for. I effectively cancelled out his vote. I win!

Unlike 99% of voters, I will not vote for something that I don't believe in. Which is exactly why I decide not to vote. All of the political options they give you really suck. No matter what happens or who you choose you're gonna get screwed over.

Politics is the absolute doomnation of mankind and also the scourge of all races and creeds. Politics are evil. Stay away from that rubbish!

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15511106/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15511106/ Wed, 14 Nov 2007 17:59:06 PST
Now what is it used for? Absolute rubbish and lots of it.
Every day I find my letterbox stuffed with junkmail, leaflets, coupons.
Basically useless information that does not enrich anyone's life.

What if all that paper and printing power was used to educate, to entertain, and to enlighten people instead of churning out tonnes of something that 99% of people will throw in the bin without even looking at?

I would love to see some classical literature in my letterbox. Or a document teaching the foundations of another language. Photographs. Or a new origami animal for every day. Historical recounts of momentous events. Or a new cooking recipe. Or a guide to botany. Articles on using ordinary items for extraordinary things.

ANYTHING!
Just not this promotional advertising garbage that I have to clean out of my letterbox every day. Please.

Has the world gone completely mad?!
We are spending money to make money to make ourselves stupider.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15501608/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15501608/ Wed, 14 Nov 2007 01:24:53 PST more drawings are on the way.
Also, I almost died!


Rarely do I get sick, but recently I got hit real hard with something truly bizarre for no apparent reason.

It felt like a combination of digesting glass and then being punched in the stomach with brass knuckles. This rendered me immobile for 2 days. Then I had a fever and stuff and my immune system took a big hit cause I couldn't eat for those 2 days.

It was a crazy rollercoaster ride of overwhelming pain and in my feverish dreams I saw myself dying and stuff. It was scary, but I'm all better now and alive to boot!

I kind of have more appreciation for life now. Don't know how long this newly found experience will last, but I feel great! Now I can finally eat food again and go walking outside into the sunlight.

Also.. I have new bedsheets and doona covers, which are crisp and comfy. I win!

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15320187/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15320187/ Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:05:36 PDT I have given myself too much freedom. So much freedom that I squander it on irresponsible interests which only lead to my own self-destruction.

Like any other human, I don't know what I need, all I know is what I want.

What I need is rules to govern my life. I need to be held back. I need to be oppressed. Otherwise I will just pull the plug and sink into a downward spiral of my own madness.

Believe this. Too much freedom is a bad thing.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15292020/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15292020/ Tue, 30 Oct 2007 19:04:31 PDT A mate of mine heard it came into the room and said "what was that" to which I replied "I don't know". I went outside, found the starling, and buried it.

The very next day a starling flew into my window again. It made a loud thud and died instantly. Mate of mine came into the room and said "what was that?" to which I automatically replied "I don't know" ..even though I knew exactly what it was going to be. I went outside to find a starling lying there dead in exactly the same spot as the one on the day before. I had an overwhelming sense of deja vu while I buried it next to the other starling.

Two identical starlings die in exactly the same way at around the same time of day within two days. Either this is some kind of omen, or starlings are just more likely to run into windows than any other species of bird. Or maybe I'm just really good at cleaning windows, I don't know, but it's such an unbelievable coincidence. Makes me feel a bit weird.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15135271/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15135271/ Fri, 19 Oct 2007 21:00:43 PDT
Knowing this makes my life very difficult. Very purposeless. I was born with a need to be purposeful, and to fulfil this need, but I can't seem to achieve it due to a burden of knowledge. I now know my ideals can never be reached because they defy truth itself. I am looking too deep for something I can't find.

My perception of truth is so very different to the truth. I am displaced.

You are far removed from absolute reality too, but most people have a chemical coping mechanism in their brain to counter this. My coping mechanism is broken and so I'm often overwhelmed by thought. To deal with this overload of thought my mind suspends itself in a sort of extreme denial of reality. This is what the doctors call depression.

My senses shut down, I feel next to nothing -no emotion I'm just stuck in a void and I can't get myself out. When I snap out of this void it is like a rebirth. Everything seems new and I am unusually happy. I look at the world through the innocent eyes of a child. Rediscovery. Then the nature of reality creeps up and hits me. I have epiphany after epiphany and my brain shuts down my senses again.

I may not have a purpose as a human, but giving up isn't much of a purpose either. The problem is the solution, and my life is a paradox. It's both a blessing, and a curse.

I wrote this for myself really, but I thought I'd share it because it was a personal revelation for me. It's very important to know who you are and what your life is.

I'd encourage everyone to think about their own life so as to better understand it, but don't think too hard, or you'll regret it.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15051870/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/15051870/ Sun, 14 Oct 2007 00:57:35 PDT
After many complications I've finally moved into my new house. -->
Everything that could possibly have gone wrong did go wrong, but it was all worth it.

There are a few other very interesting things I've experienced, none of which I am at liberty to talk about, but it's been ..interesting.

Now the holidays are over and there's another term of this graphic design course to face. Two weeks were not enough! I need a holiday to recover from this holiday. Arrrgh.

Hopefully I'll have some time to reply to the 500+ messages I've been banking up. Hope that nobody is annoyed at me for not replying, cause I've gotten some really nice comments from you lot and the least I could do is make the effort to reply. Oh well.

I think I'm entering a new stage of my life. No idea what to expect, but I'm looking forward to it.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14957907/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14957907/ Sun, 07 Oct 2007 15:12:41 PDT What inspires you?

Personally I always feel most inspired when I have a hangover from the night before, when I am in the shower, when I am on certain drugs, or when I am at a beach on a windy overcast yet warm day.

Hangover is easy to explain. Alcohol is still pumping through your bloodstream and likely affecting your brain etc. Chemical inspiration. I'm not a big fan of alcohol, but it's so easily available and I am a social drinker. And I drink lots and lots. Not because I lack self control, but because the more I drink the more I enjoy myself and I just want to have some fun. Can you blame me?

In the middle of a shower. Hot water opens the skin pores, you're getting clean and stuff. It's fresh and comfortable. And also the steam in your lungs might have to do with it too. For some reason I get the most amazing ideas in the middle of a shower, at exactly the moment when it's impossible to write your ideas down.

DRUGS. Fun topic. I could go on all day.
-
People don't like them, and they can be bad things for some people, but at the end of the day it all boils down to choice. Recreational drugs are capable of giving people some introspective perception of life. Whether you achieve this perspective on life by taking drugs, or by religion, or through love, or by fasting, or self-asphyxiation or by bashing your head against a wall.. Same thing, different method. If its not drugs it's something else that changes your brain in some way. At the end of the day you either suffer or prosper from the decisions you make. It's not drugs that are bad, it's people.

And last of all, natural inspiration. There are rare occurrences in nature that to me are the most inspirational of all. Warm winds on a cloudy day are one of my favourite. The sky is blanketed by clouds and everything is dim, yet there is no rain and the wind is incredibly warm and a million mild scents waft through the air. Climbing mountains is great too, as well as solar eclipses, observing animals, and swimming in the ocean. I'm not a gay hippy or anything, I just love the natural world. It's how life was meant to be lived.


Anyhow, those are the main things that inspire me. I'm rarely ever inspired by other people, just by the world and my own experience of life. After all.. Art imitates life.

The very idea of inspiration is a product of a higher capacity of thought. A godlike appreciation of life. It doesn't matter if God exists or not, we ourselves are all wondrous mini-gods shaping the world and our own existence. Isn't it great?

And so, I ask you again..

What inspires you?

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14924909/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14924909/ Fri, 05 Oct 2007 10:14:19 PDT That is my family and my life.

I will lose one before the other, but until then everything else is trivial.
Ultimately nothing else really matters to me.

Life is cheap, things come and go, but in essence this is all I have to worry about.
Anything else is just childs play.

Knowing this is very comforting.
I have my life and I have a family. I am already winning so far.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14844893/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14844893/ Sat, 29 Sep 2007 17:39:53 PDT
The discussion just went on and on. They began debating topics such as 'how many holes in the human body are capable of making noises' using a variety of colloquial terms to describe unflattering body parts and the noises which they make all while several other patrons around us were trying to eat a meal.

I never thought I'd say this about my own friends, but they are an embarrassment to humankind. All those civilisations that developed complex cultures over the centuries have all been in vain. Whatever happened to etiquette? Manners?!

I don't mean to make myself sound above them in any way, these are good friends of mine and I love them, but damn.. what kind of uncultured household were they raised in to allow themselves to behave in such an unbecoming way? There is a time and a place for everything.. but a restaurant is bloody well not the time for that stuff. People are trying to eat their food dammit.

Usually I wouldn't care, and in hindsight it was funny in a way, but I didn't go through a strict upbringing just to tolerate this sort of behaviour. It's not a question of class, it's a question of culture and manners.

There was a reason why cutlery was invented. There is a reason humans invented tables. There is a reason we bring the food to our heads, and not our heads to the food. It's what separates humans from animals.

Humans are complex life forms, and we should respect ourselves as that, but how can we distinguish ourselves from animals when we are metaphorically unable to separate our food from our faeces?

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14820201/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14820201/ Thu, 27 Sep 2007 21:24:53 PDT
Today I have a question regarding toasters. You see there are some very powerful toasters on the market. The highest setting on the toaster is likely to incinerate even a deep frozen slice of toast. So why do the settings go that high when the result is something which is unfit for human consumption? Why?

This is not a rhetorical question. I want answers. ANSWERS people! Answers.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14717320/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14717320/ Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:05:33 PDT
This makes doing challenging graphic design assignments damn near impossible to do.
I woke up at 6am today to make sure I'd get to school on time, but now that I'm awake I don't really feel like going.

You see, I'm not really lazy or anything, I'm just not motivated at all.

And there's this bizarre thrill to know that you have the power to NOT do something, even though you could and should.

This plan of inaction will backfire in a major way, but it feels so good!
And so I'll do it anyway.

By the way, I will reply to all your messages later (or never, whichever comes first).





____
EDIT: Something else I want to mention while I'm here. I'll write it small so it doesn't take up much space. It's not important so you can ignore it if you like.

<sub>You know how difficult it is to buy a good mouse trap? Very.

The pet shop doesn't sell them, and they tell me to go to a hardware store, but the hardware store only has the messy snap traps and i want to catch the mouse alive.

Funny thing I noticed at the pet shop though.
The girl who worked there must've been like 14 years old tops, happy go lucky, very naive. When I asked her if they sell mouse traps she looked at me in shock and disgust. It took me a long time to explain that I was after one that catches them alive before she understood what I was on about. (and these people work in a pet shop?) Yeah they don't sell those.

The thing that gets me is that it's one of those yuppie pet shops. All they sell is puppies, kittens, and goldfish. Those things are ecological disasters! (okay okay, the goldfish not so much, but still!)

They sell these cute little ecological nightmares bred in about 3 varieties.. and pet food and toys for animals... and that's all they sell! And then they have the nerve to imply that I am cruel for buying a mousetrap (even though I was after one that doesn't kill the mouse) ?!?!?!?!

The average kitten will probably kill, maim, and torture more animals in a week than I will in my entire life! And those cute little pure bred puppies they sell? Most of them will be neglected or end up at the pound. And those goldfish? Well that's a rant for another day. (but I'll tell you about it if you ask me).</sub>

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14662550/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14662550/ Sun, 16 Sep 2007 16:12:04 PDT
Wow! Really?
Amazing!

I hate it when managers or team leaders use that stupid saying.
Yes, there is no letter 'i' in the word 'team'. Congratulations!
How many years did you have to study the alphabet to work that one out?

Seriously that's supposed to be motivational and somehow make me selflessly be part of a team environment?

Teamwork is just another word for making people feel more responsible and committed to a job they wouldn't be doing if they weren't getting paid for it.

For example in a team you are not letting your boss down by not working overtime; you are letting your TEAM down. And so your boss makes more money off you while you work harder to fix other peoples mistakes and do work that isn't required as part of your job for much longer than you legally have to.

There may not be an I in the word TEAM, but there is a ME.

Me me me me me me me.
I don't care what's good for the company, because the only reason I work there is so that "I" can make enough money to survive. Why should I care about a "team" that is in it for exactly the same reason?

It's a corporate conspiracy I tell you.
Don't buy into that "teamwork" mentality, or you'll get screwed over by someone of a higher rank.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14647106/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14647106/ Sat, 15 Sep 2007 15:59:12 PDT
Why do they fail to accept that not everybody needs to laugh to be happy or cry to be sad?

I get in trouble for this all the time. Especially at funerals when I'm the only one not crying people think I'm being unsympathetic, or when someone buys me a present and just because I don't jump in the air with tears of joy and excitement they think I hate the present they bought me.

It's not so. I experience a massive range of complex emotions every day of my life, but I just accept then as they happen calmly and quietly. Calm and quiet is not an emotion.
Why do people pass judgement on me like I'm some kind of inhuman monster?

The way people are insecure about my reactions to them makes me think that like maybe I am a clone without a soul or something.

By the way it'd be great to be a clone don't you think?

Having no soul and all you could just abandon any concept of a conscience and be free to rule the world without any narrow and restrictive human concepts of morals, or ownership, or social values, because your life itself is nothing more than an imitation of life.

Maybe we should leave the concept of a soul alone for a bit. It's a silly topic and I don't like it when people passionately discuss something that doesn't even have a universal definition.

What about a life without values?
Can we even begin to comprehend that?

I can. And it sounds like a lot of fun!

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14594437/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14594437/ Tue, 11 Sep 2007 18:34:26 PDT
Have you seen the price of food lately though? Ridiculous.
I think the big multi-gazillion supermarket empires have caught onto the fact that humans need to eat food to survive and are taking advantage of that by charging us whatever they want for it.

They'd sell us oxygen if they could, and then charge us for the cost of recycling it and sell it back to us again. Bastards

Right now I'm in a fiscal tight spot. I have a massive bond to pay (think $1500+) along with moving costs and setting up services again (+$1000) which I'm saving up for.

In the meantime I'm living off staple foods. Potatoes. Rice. Lentils.
Before that I used to have bread and couscous and pasta, but even those are getting expensive.

Long gone are the days of eating good food for me. If my parents knew this they'd be very disappointed. They never were rich or anything, but food was never an issue and I never went hungry. We always ate like royalty when I lived at home.

Oh well.. when I eat my potatoes tonight I'll just have to imagine them to be pieces of steak or something.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14548610/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14548610/ Sat, 08 Sep 2007 16:27:09 PDT I'd thought I'd tell everyone cause it's a cause for celebration and it genuinely makes me happy.

It's fairly big and it's got a real backyard with a garden and it's in a safer and quieter neighbourhood. It has 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and 2 other rooms that are used for whatever.. so it's more space than a person without a family could ever need to use for any practical purpose.

I was getting sick of all the people walking past the laneway next to my house running from police, all the loud drunks vomiting on my front yard, the people kicking my fence in, the people trying to break into the neighbour's place at night, random drug addicts sitting on your doorstep at all hours of the morning and when you ask them what they want they don't know?

This place now is close to the city centre, but not a great place to live.
I'm looking forward to finally being able to grow plants and have pets and sit in my garden in the hammock on the weekend amongst the trees. Plus I'll finally be able to invite girls over again without them making snide remarks about the area I live in.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14513674/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14513674/ Thu, 06 Sep 2007 08:15:06 PDT
It's probably my favourite thing in the world.

Food, sex, sleep, drugs..
they're all my favourites too, lots of fun, but they have their drawbacks. Laughing is always fun and it has no real serious consequence.

Even when it's inappropriate and you're dying inside you can still laugh and it's not a waste of time. Put on a façade and make other people happy at the same time... Two birds, one stone!

Everyone loves it. It's great!

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14485743/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14485743/ Tue, 04 Sep 2007 11:00:04 PDT
It's like information overload in my brain when I hear about life on earth. I don't want to know about it! Just leave me alone!

Even seeing happy news reports of panda bears breeding in the zoo or penguins being rescued from oil slicks disturbs the hell out of me.

Why?

Because I know while the majority of the population will be smiling at footage of cute animals, some form of genocide is being carried out somewhere else that we didn't get to hear about on the news... all because a panda bear IN A ZOO had a baby!

Why does this not disturb you?!?


Why should I keep trying to convince myself that the world is an okay place to live in?


I'm not new to the harshness of reality, but I simply can't enjoy life knowing all these things that don't concern me.


I will be glad if I find a cave underneath a rock to live in and never talk to another human ever again!

Ignorance truly is bliss.
Please go away!

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14430263/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14430263/ Fri, 31 Aug 2007 18:23:09 PDT Considering this you'd think I'd be a lot better at it by now, but I still draw with the mentality of a little kid.

The thing is that I'm not very competitive. I don't strive for excellence.
I have no obligation to perfect any technical ability, I just draw because it's a hell of a lot of fun.

If you like it, good for you.
If you don't like it, good for you.
It has no influence on me whatsoever.

I see what the art elitists make, and it's brilliant.
I'll never be as good as them though, because I don't want to be good at it at all.. art is not something I care about.

The truth is that I care about art just as much as a toddler cares about the scrawl it makes on the walls of a house. ie: not much.

So start viewing it as something purposeless, and you'll probably enjoy it a lot more.
Thank you.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14365014/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14365014/ Mon, 27 Aug 2007 13:06:29 PDT
It's not that I'm scared of mice.. if it's a pet mouse I can pick it up and let it crawl all over me, but if there's a rouge mouse in my room or inside the walls at night it becomes impossible for me to sleep.

It's a kind of phobia or something cause when I was an infant I had rats crawl into my cot and chew on my toes. Ever since I was a baby I can't sleep if I know there's a mouse around. I'd rather be sharing the room with a whole bunch of funnelweb spiders than sleep in the same room as a mouse. The way the way the little things come out at night and can squeeze into any gap and dart around into dark corners and climb up walls. It's pretty creepy.

Oh well. Tomorrow I'm going make a trap. When I catch the mouse I'm going to put it in a cage and keep it as a pet so that my enemy can keep me company and I can learn about it 's mysterious ways a little more. That little mouse will rob me of sleep no longer!

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14320131/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14320131/ Fri, 24 Aug 2007 13:50:41 PDT
To eat meat, something must be killed. It's a fact. A very brutal fact.

The first time you kill an animal bigger than yourself and you see the fear in their eyes, and then proceed to ignore their plea for life as you take it away from them.. it's not a pleasant feeling.

I have always felt sympathy for the things I've killed, and always thought about the animal as I ate it. I still do even if I haven't killed the animal myself.

Despite that I still see killing as a necessity to survival, but nobody else understands this. The only hunters I meet are people who enjoy killing for sport.. they enjoy killing those animals.. perhaps I should enjoy it too, but I don't. I hate it.

Animals kill each other all the time, and we are on top of the food chain.. we need to kill too, but our lives have developed to a point where convenience has overcome the need to manually harvest our food and people ignore the fact that mass-killings are in order.

People are so used to having their food served up to them that they forget where it comes from. People feast on meat without appreciating the struggle for life.

I'm beginning to think that if I hate killing animals so much, why should I even eat meat at all?

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14309138/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14309138/ Thu, 23 Aug 2007 19:10:35 PDT
Basically it's like hijacking programs such as mspaint and adobe illustrator so that they draw things on their own.

The results so far have been.. interesting. Sure you could say it's not real art, because it was drawn by a machine using random numbers, but whatever. They once got elephants to paint things and sold those paintings for lots of money, so that proves that art doesn't necessarily have to be human, so why can't a machine create artwork too?

So far my macro can only make abstract art, but when I perfect it maybe one day it will evolve into realism or some bizarre counter-art movement.

At the moment it's more like a broken spirograph/kaleidoscope, but I'm working on it.

When my numbers are perfect I'll never have to draw anything ever again, because this machine will do it all for me. I'll even make a macro that automatically captures these images and uploads them directly to deviantART!

And then all that is left for me to do is write a macro to automatically respond to the comments I get with random comments of "thank you" and then write one that posts random emo journals and comments on other people's deviations with generic comments like "nice!" or"wow that's really good!" -cause lets face it that's what 99% of comments consist of, so why not get a machine to do it for you?

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14285553/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14285553/ Wed, 22 Aug 2007 09:34:30 PDT Knowing this, what am I going to do?
What am I going to do next??
Nobody knows.

The suspense is killing me.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14231441/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14231441/ Sat, 18 Aug 2007 20:29:33 PDT Now I know a lot of people don't know much about Australia, which is understandable since it's so far away from civilisation, but you shouldn't believe everything you hear.
And I feel it is my duty as an Australian to tell you how it really is in the land down under.


In the beginning Australia was inhabited by an advanced civilisation of natives. Up until Britain decided that the country would be run better by convicts. Being the rotten criminal convict scum we are we founded the wonderful nation of criminals we are today.

This unique land we inhabit is abundant with kangaroos that hop around our major cities. Luckily they have a use as pets and sometimes an effective means of transport. They also can be made into these great hats which we adorn with cork dangling off string which all real Australians wear every day of the week.

We Australians love the outdoors, so naturally 90% of the population live in a dry barren desert known as "the outback". Also worth noting is that every Australian is surrounded by dangerous animals at every moment and their life is constantly under threat. Dropbears are especially dangerous.

Since we don't have technologically advanced forms of entertainment such as television or computers our favourite past times consist of cooking shrimp on the barbie, wrestling crocodiles, and drinking massive amounts of Fosters beer. Being the cultured convict spawn we are of course we finish every uttered sentence with the word "mate". We also use the words "crikey!" and "streuth!" a lot. This is quite possibly a side effect of surviving off an exclusive diet of meat pies and Vegemite.

Most of our 'bathrooms' consist of outhouses, however there are few famous Australian celebrities (like Russell Crowe and Mel Gibson) who were fortunate enough to obtain a flushing toilet... and yes there is a phenomenon where these toilets flush in the reverse direction to every other country in the world. Imagine that!


If I've missed anything or if there's something else you want to know more about be sure to let me know and I shall enlighten you.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14171722/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/14171722/ Tue, 14 Aug 2007 21:27:30 PDT
First of all: Jesus would never have been a Christian!
For obvious reasons, being the son of God and all, but there are other reasons.

By definition Jesus was a dissident heretic. He was considered a blasphemer in his time. He stood up for his beliefs.

According to the bible Jesus himself knew that religion was just a device for people in power to control the masses, and he openly criticised the religious leaders on numerous occasions. And not just a bit of friendly constructive criticism.. he really ripped into them.

This means if I followed the example of Jesus in a modern day context, I'd be facing off against all those major religious organisations who idolise Jesus so much. Kind of ironic, no?

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/13928395/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/13928395/ Sun, 29 Jul 2007 14:18:25 PDT
However there is that harsh noise that toilets make when they flush. Not very relaxing or melodic. Now that I think of it, it is very un-nerving. They should invent muffled toilets that produce tidal rhythms complete with whale calls or something.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/13775869/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/13775869/ Tue, 17 Jul 2007 23:45:01 PDT
Basically these are already beautiful women, there is absolutely nothing wrong with their bodies. Yes, they are beautiful, but my job is to make them perfect.

As much fun as it is, I can't help but feel a little bit guilty.

I enlarge/reduce and modify the appearance of their body parts to match an idealistic standard of what a consumerist society defines a beautiful woman to be.

I take away their their blemishes, their sunspots, their freckles. Basically I remove everything from their photograph that makes them human and turn them into pretty little money-making tools.

This is the reason people endlessly pursue fashion. This is the reason behind a lot of eating disorders and diets. This is the reason that already beautiful girls opt for cosmetic surgery. Or at the very least I'd be responsible for even a tiny drop in some poor fat girl's self-esteem.

All this because I am promoting unrealistic and unachievable standards of aesthetic perfection so that someone can sell women's underwear.

I don't know. It looks all right, but feels kinda wrong.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/13698947/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/13698947/ Wed, 11 Jul 2007 18:03:44 PDT
I had to renew my passport. So I go to get a photo taken for it at one of those automated photo booths and it happened to be occupied by a pair of young teenagers presumably boyfriend and girlfriend.

I don't know what they were doing in there, but they sure as hell took their sweet time.
So as I was impatiently standing outside this photo booth forced to listen to shuffling and giggling noises, a thought occurred to me.

These kids would probably have access to a digital camera, and still they choose to go through the time and expense of getting small photographs taken and developed in a tiny enclosed photo booth. That's actually kind of cute. When I was that age I never did things like that. Maybe I should give them some time.

On second thought.. No.

I'm running late for a serious appointment. My passport is about to expire while kids are messing around in a photo booth! I won't stand for that.
So I decided to ruin their fun little romantic moment by knocking and angrily telling them to hurry up.

I got some strange satisfaction out of telling them off for taking so long. It was great.
I think I'm finally starting to appreciate why old people always complain about young people.

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/13676342/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/13676342/ Mon, 09 Jul 2007 20:23:33 PDT While it feels good to be fiscally on top of things, the very thought of capsicum makes me incredibly hungry. And I am dreading the decision of choosing between red, green, or yellow.

Have you noticed that life is full of important decisions that ultimately equate to nothing?

]]> ~j-m-s http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/13563306/ http://j-m-s.deviantart.com/journal/13563306/ Sun, 01 Jul 2007 11:47:45 PDT Apparently I get an average of 1.03 favourites per day since I've been here.

It's surprising and amazing to me because I haven't done anything to deserve it.
All I do is show people on the internet things that I would normally make anyway, and for some reason people seem to like it.

Normally nobody sees my drawings or photos or anything because I don't usually show my friends or anyone any of what I do, many of my friends don't even know that I draw things, but somehow the internet has got me into a habit of putting things out there for everyone to see, and I've gone a little bit crazy with it.

You see, this is the only time in my life where I've had an audience, thanks to the internet. This is the only time I've been able to show the world things, and the first time I am getting compliments and praise for something that I thought was worthless.

Every comment I get makes me overjoyed.
I don't deserve any of it, but I still thrive off the attention.

So I just want to thank everyone who ever told me that they liked something I have done. You make me feel kind of special and give me a sense of self-worth.

Thank you.

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