http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:jamindavey&section=today deviantART RSS for by:jamindavey en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 03:38:18 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/22261525/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/22261525/ Mon, 29 Dec 2008 13:31:27 PST
2) Finance: Open investment portfolio with $4000 by the end of January. Increase personal worth to over $14000 in one year.

3) Art: Produce 16 salable artworks. Hold a joint exhibition with other artists.

4) Learning: Read 12 books on any topic.

5) Health: Brush and floss every day at least once.

6) Romance: Enjoy any romantic relationships that occur as they are, for as long as they last.

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/21073416/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/21073416/ Mon, 20 Oct 2008 02:27:56 PDT [link]
That won't affect me, I just won't sign up. The censorship will be "opt-out", not "opt-in" in English, that means that like having an accent that makes you sound like you're asking questions when you aren't. simply by being an Australian you tacitly agree to it. Also, you voted for it.
But I voted for the other guy so it's not my problem. Both major parties in the last election included identical proposals for internet censorship in their campain promises. By participating in the last election you voted for this.
I didn't vote. Enough!
Look, it isn't like I wanted to look up child porn. That's all it's filering right? There will be two filters. There will be the adult filter which will be compulsory on all public access computers but with the option for individuals with home connections to "opt-out" of the "service" by contacting their ISP. They will still be subject to the illegal content filter.
So I can just opt-out and I'll be okay? The illegal filter will still be in place even if you opt out of the child filter.
That filter is just going to be P2P networks, CP sites, and torrent trackers and such right? Can you site one instance where censorship did not go too far? Let me rephrase. In the test model, the filtered content is deturmined by the government with no outside authority to keep tabs on what is censored and what is allowed. Even if you do trust this government, do you trust every government that comes after it to censor all of Australia's access to the last bastian of free media which is the internet?
I don't really pay attention to the news. What's a bastion? Let me dumb this down a bit. If you personally sit at your computer, scan over this entry, grunt disaprovingly about the government screwing the little guy and then continue browsing webcomics and filling in personality tests to see what colour you are, then you, the person reading this right now are directly responsible for the eventual and inevitable abuse of this power. You will have nobody to blame but yourself when they take away your porn.
Not my porn! Finally, A language you speak! Okay, its the porn. Forget freedom of speech. Forget governments controlling the transmission. Forget that everybody is afraid to speak out against this because they don't want to look like they support pedophiles. Forget that the Australian population was railroaded into voting for this. THINK OF THE BLOODY PORN!!!
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! What can I do great sage! Righto, get yourself to the No Clean Feed website [link] for a list of ways to make yourself heard. Write it in your blog. Write to your local member. Write to Senator Conroy who is the one pushing for this. Write to the media, this needs to be covered. Suck at writing? Copy and past the sample letter and fill in your name at the bottom. You have my permission to copy paste this whole entry into your journal. Sign a petition. Do something! Do it now!

Alright, let me just finish checking my email. Sigh... IF YOU DONT SEND THIS MESSAGE TO 10 OF YOUR FRIENDS IN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES THEN YOU WILL NEVA MEET UR TRU LOVE AND THEN U'LL BE SODOMISED BY A BUS!!!! IF YOU DO SEND THIS MESSAGE TO OVER 9000 OF YOUR FRIENDS BILL GATES WILL PERSONALLY HAND U A CHECK FOR $100 US FOR EACH ONE AT A BIG AWARD SEREMONY WHERE YOU WILL MEET YOUR SOUL MATE, HAVE LOTS OF SEX FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND THERE WILL BE CAKE!!!!!

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/20980075/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/20980075/ Tue, 14 Oct 2008 03:07:26 PDT [link] is the original location of this conversation. I enjoyed it so much I thought I'd share.

cacai230: I am saddened that you blaspheme the saviour.

Meioma: lol awsome! Jesus is my fav fairy tale character!^^

cacai230: Un, no to be rude, but Jesus is not a fairy tale character, he is real.

jamindavey: Well Zombie Jesus is real to me and I find your blasphemy comments offensive. Take them back now.

cacai230: no, because jesus is not a zombie, he is alive and well

jamindavey: Perhaps by YOUR beliefs a man god can suffer a few hours on a cross and spend a few days in the grave to pay for the eternity of death and suffering owed to mankind but in MY view, Jesus must suffer eternally as a zombie in order to pay the cost of eternal damnation. IF you read your Bible you will see that the mortal wounds which caused Jesus to die were never healed when he was raised. Thomas even stuck his hand in them. Therefore, with unhealed, mortal wounds, the risen Lord MUST be a zombie.

cacai230: so, if jesus suffers eternally as a zombie, then where is that zombie now? huh?

jamindavey: He hangs out with with Lazarus and all the other zombies raised at the same time (see Matthew 27:51-53), as since the Bible clearly states that you can only die once (see Hebrews 9:27) they're not going anywhere until judgement day.

cacai230: well then where are the other zombie? huh

jamindavey: Walking around among us.

cacai230: no, no, no, he is in heaven and seated on the right hand of the father almighty from where he will judge the living and the dead

jamindavey: So you do believe in Zombie Jesus?

cacai230: no, because he is alive in heaven

jamindavey: Are his mortal wounds healed now or are they, as the bible describes?

cacai230: its is as the bible describes nut thats is to show that he is really risen from the dead

jamindavey: If he still has unhealed, mortal wounds which did in fact kill him and yet walks, breathes, talks and eats then he is an animated corpse. If, when the centurian jabbed him in the side, the 'water' that came out was limph, proving the his heart had stopped, and the state of no heartbeat was not healed then his body is dead. Since there is still a hole in his side there is no reason to believe that his heart has been reactivated as this would have the effect of a perpetual jushing fountain of blood spilling from his side, hands and feet; a detail gross enough to be included in the Bible. If there in no heartbeat and no bloodflow, his body is technically dead. Even if it has been preserved and avoiding decomposition over all these years by being posessed by a spirit, it is definitely a dead thing.

Coincidentally, since touching a dead thing would make the spirit unclean, it is impossible that the posessing spirit could be considered holy.

zxJayColdxz: I worship you.

I haven't heard back from cacai for seven days so I guess the discussion is over. Shame that. I had a whole speech prepared about symbolically feasting upon the blood and bones of a dead man. Okay, it is a hollow victory of intellect to win a debate over somebody who ends half their posts with "huh?" but I laughed, and that is what counts. All hail zombie jesus!

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/18844615/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/18844615/ Sat, 14 Jun 2008 20:28:08 PDT Finance:
I quit my high pay/high stress job at the call centre over a month ago now. It was nice having a lot of money and in around three months of work I was able to save just over $1000 as well as paying for some surprise medical expenses. I quit before my $500 bonus came through. It may've been wise to hang in another two weeks for that but at the time I simply couldn't bear another day in that place.
Since then I got myself some agency work in hospitality. I've worked at Parliament House, Doombin Raceway, and The Gabba. I was offered some work at the Casino last night but I turned it down. I'm not very good at just grabbing my stuff and going to work at a moment's notice. Work is something a have to psyche myself up for. That is probably not a good thing. The pay is minimum skilled casual ($17.70). The skilled bit is because I had to get an RSA certificate and I have to be able to carry three plates and open wine bottles with a wine knife. The work itself is pretty diverse and interesting, but when I consider how much time it takes to travel to some of these places, the pay really doesn't cover it. Also, aside from the surprise shifts that would require me dropping everything to even have a hope of arriving on time, I've only been getting a couple of shifts each week so I've been dipping into my savings to stay afloat. Not a good practice.
I did do a shift looking after children (3-4 year olds) at a language school for immigrants. That was a lot of fun actually. There might be a position there for me to fill for a few weeks later in the year when the woman I was working with goes on leave. Even if there isn't, childcare is an option I hadn't seriously considered before. I will have to update my blue card. Better put that on a to-do list.
I am considering cernrelink. The beaurocracy ticks me off but it is money and I could use a bit extra.
I've also taken a job working for my parents. Two jobs really. One is gardening. The back yard of their quarter acre block is suffering from a level of neglect that would be surprising even if all three members of the household were not retired. My second task is slightly more complicated. I am helping my mother get her chaotic world into some sort of order. Basically it is like life coaching but a lot more hands on. I'm doing the life coaching bit with planning strategies and such, I'm also there to keep her accountable to somebody and also to lend a hand carrying things, loading boxes, fixing computers and keeping people from interrupting her while she is sorting. The pay is better than the hospitality job and it is in cash "gift" form.
Finance isn't just about having a job. I've recently invested $1000 in an internet pyramid scam. The setup is fairly new with no further work required on my part. I am confident that I will see a sizable return in the area of $30,000 before the company folds. I've got a few ideas for scams of my own to try out. In the mid-term, this could be an handy alternative to actually working.
I'm also examining a variety of strategies for share trading. So far there is nothing that compares to scams in terms of profit to risk variables but once I have enough money to survive on interest alone, a few blue chip shares might make a handy retirement package.
So that is finance. You're still reading? Impressive.
Social:
I live with a great bunch of guys at Heresy House. Most of my social needs can be dealt with by simply staying home as there is a steady train of visitors every other day, and sometimes more frequently. They often bring generous quantities of alcohol as well so we never want for entertainment. The down side of this is that all four of us seem to rely on this to varying degrees so all of our social interactions seem to center around this house. This can, and already has, led to one or two awkward situations regarding romantic liaisons.
Ideally, a person tries to find a prospective romantic interest in a person that his friends don't know for a couple of reasons. First, if a girl is within the current social group, she probably has either dated or rejected another member of the group at some point. Second, if things don't go well, the outsider can leave again without stirring the waters overly much, so he can wait until he has an idea of the girl's personality before introducing her to his friends. No home of that here. Chances are, if I meet a girl in my house, she's been friends with one of my housemates for some time. No chance for anonymity there. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, just sometimes makes me feel like sticking a poster on the wall saying "Cast your line further".
It is silly to complain though. I'm living the dream. I and Andy spent... ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/17118291/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/17118291/ Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:06:29 PST
I found somebody I could love and who briefly loved me, or at least thought she did. I gave her everything I had to give but it wasn't enough. I was everything she wanted long term, but she wasn't ready. She couldn't simply accept what she wanted without first testing every other option. Indecisive and non-committed to the last. At last, in a final selfless act I sacrificed my love to set her free to create or destroy her life as she chooses, without me. Love began to die. I began to open my eyes and see her for who is, without the gentle filter of love to soften the edges and beautify the imperfections. Finally I saw her, a scared little girl, bruised from her past, afraid to make any decision and unable to accept guidance from those who have gone before. Grasping to hold together her many lives, trying to move forward without letting go of what lies behind.

I looked down at the shriveling ball of my love and looked back to her. Could I revive it and be some sort of hero to save her? No. This is something she has to deal with on her own. I cannot change a person and it would be naive to try. But perhaps I could wait. Keep that little ember alight until she had walked that path, realized what she had lost, and learned. No. There is no loss if it stays alive. With no loss, there is no lesson. With no lesson, there is no opportunity to grow. She would still be connected to me and I to her, in our initial, immature attraction. I looked down, and allowed the last embers to burn out. A wisp of black smoke rose lazily from my dead love. I looked back, feeling cold and alone once more. No more pain, no more compassion. Just cold and calculating. Watching the shadows creeping in.

Perhaps she will be alright. Perhaps she will leave a bloody trail of damaged friends and lovers in her wake. Perhaps she will grow. Perhaps she will never change. Perhaps she will remember me and wish that I could feel that way again. Perhaps she will find another who will love her for she is, or who she becomes. Will she break him too, or hold on as he breaks her? Only time will tell. It is not my responsibility. It is no longer my place to concern myself with such things.

I watched a little longer as my ideas of beauty realigned themselves to my natural desires. I watched as things I had found beautiful about her faded back to the moderate attractiveness I had initially experienced. I watched my senses re-attune themselves to desire a more womanly form. More robust genes. Respect. Self control. Honesty. Self confidence. I watched her growing smaller, still dividing herself between her past and her future; family and friends; work, sport and education. Spreading herself like butter over too much bread. Tiring herself. Breaking her body. Fading from view. I didn't need to see anymore. I turned away.

The ride is over. It was nice while it lasted. Perhaps. I don't really remember. I did love. What was that like? I'm not sure. I now walk toward my future. There is no time for the past. No time for regret or second chances. There is a whole carnival before me. So many different rides and games to play. Shooting galleries. Bobbing for apples. Strength testers. There are stuffed animals to be won and balloons to hold and hotdogs that will make you feel bloated and sick. It all seems colourless now yet, even now, as I walk into the park, I am beginning to see a little colour shining through the tents. Maybe there is still some fun to be had in this park after all.

I glance down at my hand that held my love, in loves place is now a ticket. Admit one. A pass for the next ride perhaps. Or another game. I turn it over, there is my lesson written on the back of the ticket. The lesson says “Be patient. Be observant. Learn to see a person as they are over time. Watch how they treat the others who love them before giving over your heart. Remember too, after you have done this, that even the love that will hurt you can still be worth the experience.”

I am smiling. It is a lesson well learned.

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/16195191/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/16195191/ Mon, 31 Dec 2007 22:04:22 PST
I am subject to my programming. I am programmed to feel love, pain, passion, desire, hurt, friendship, hatred, guilt, excitement, safety. I am programmed to search for meaning and purpose. I am programmed to want my programming to survive and reproduce because that kind of programming is what allowed for me to be created in the first place.

Is it better to think with my heart or my head? Well, clearly brain tissue is more adapted to rationalism that cardiac muscle but metaphorically speaking I seem to have a conflict. I have glands and habits that influence my thinking in ways that are not always logical, and they tend to conflict with the part of my brain which tries to make sense of the world and behave in a rational way.

Logically I know that some social behaviours are benificial and that others are not. Sometimes I just don't care. Logical thinking and emotional thinking. Each is relevant and each has its place. The power that each holds over my eventual decisions determines the course of my life, yet there is neither one nor the other more 'right'. Lately I have begun to bring the two together to work more harmoniously towards goals that benifit both. Fear, for example, would stop me from being the person I want to be, so confronting it is a choice of logic over emotion which yet benefits emotion because afterwards I feel good about my choice. I feel good about the person I am becomming. When the two are united I know exactly what I want and whether the costs required are worth the potential rewards.

Why am I thinking so much about how I think. Well it is simple: I have decisions comming up that will effect me in later life and I want to understand the biases influencing my decisions so that I can make a decision that utilises my programming most effectively. Should I get a job or continue studying? If I get a job, what industry? What role? Is money or job satisfaction more important? Company man or self employed? Full time, part time or contract? Is it better to plan for the best possible future or simply enjoy the present? Stay single or get a girlfriend? Persue perfection at high risk or settle for low risk familiar medocracy? Maintain existing relationships or push to find new ones? Heart or head? Who is driving the vehicle and who is just comming along for the ride? Who do I want making the decisions in my life? Who am I? Who do I want to be? What do I need to change to get there?

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/16169160/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/16169160/ Sun, 30 Dec 2007 15:50:09 PST
2. Swimming: I want to take at least four seconds of my lap time for each stroke. My current speeds are crawl: 32 sec/50m, breastsroke: 54sec/50m, backstroke: 60sec/50m, butterfly: can't even make it to the end of the pool.

3. Finance: Get a job. Save at least $10k for investments. ($200/week savings, $107/week rent, $50/week food, $50+/other = job must pay over $407/week after tax. $20k per year. Easy.)

4. Art: Produce at least 10 full sized, saleable paintings and hold an exhibition.

5. Writing: Enter two short story competitions over the year. Finish first draft for werewolf story.

6. Romance: Without making assumptions, begin a relationship that lasts over nine months.

7. Drama: See at least five live shows during the year. Perform in one.

8. Readng: Read at least 12 books. 2 must be university quality text books, 2 must be a genre of fiction I have never read before, 2 must be developmental self improvement books.

9. Languages: Learn enough sign language (austlan) to hold a basic conversation in complete silence.

10. Make a checklist for all of these points, hang it on my wall and check off each goal as it is achieved.

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/15982096/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/15982096/ Tue, 18 Dec 2007 04:46:55 PST
I went to Dreamworld the celebrate Tasherella’s birthday. It wasn’t cheap but for some reason, even when I’m living off the government, I always have enough money to do the things I really want to do. Well, when I met up with everyone, it quickly became apparent that this was a group who went to theme parks for one reason alone: thrill rides.

Now let me tell you something of myself. I’ve never really been a thrill seeker. I let my last girlfriend show me up by jumping off a waterfall when I wouldn’t even climb the thing. I would have also said I had a mild fear of heights. When I was running with gangs, I would be the one who waited as lookout and wiped down the prints rather than actually going inside the building. I would happily stand back and watch others do courageous and scary things. I’d hold bags for the people who went on the thrill rides and then direct the action towards more relaxed pursuits like dodge-em cars or fish and chips. Today, something was different. Today, I was different.

As of today, I have been on all six of the Dreamworld Big Six thrill rides. Before today I have never felt fear that equals sitting in a chair above a 120 meter drop, looking out across the rolling countryside that stretches out from the theme park, waiting for them moment when I will fall 38 stories at 135km/h; except perhaps for the actual fall which is listed in the Guinness book of World Records as the largest for its kind in the world and had me caught in a silent and uncontrollable scream for the entire thirty second drop where I believed I may actually die. When I came off that ride, I was white. I also went on The Claw, which had me completely paralysed with fear for the entire duration of the ride; The Cyclone (tallest high gravity roller-coaster in Australia); The Tower of Terror, which is now the fourth fastest roller coaster in the world and was the first to break the 100mph speed barrier and involves a 120 meter backwards freefall; the Wipeout and the Motercoaster to complete the set.

I had never been on a rollercoaster or thrill ride before today.

I am quite proud of myself. I identified a fear and conquered it.

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/15723728/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/15723728/ Thu, 29 Nov 2007 16:08:16 PST
[link]


Thinking of my best future self, there are a few areas of importance to me that I would like to succeed in. Health is an obvious one which I am already taking active steps towards. Friendship is an area where I am already incredibly satisfied with but I'm happy to expand on a good thing. Romance/Romantic Relationships is another important issue for me, as is career/finance, and family. Spirituality tends to make its way onto this kind of list more often than not but I'm going to approach it from a different view and divide the reality of spirituality into emotional health, perception of meaning and attitude toward life. For the purpose of this entry, I'm going to set my benchmark at approximately ten years from now. This gives me time to dream big yet still be realistic about what is actually possible

I've been working on my physical fitness for awhile already: building muscle, increasing stamina, eating... food. As a 36 year old, I see myself having achieved my current fitness goals long ago. I never wanted to be a meat head so I'd say I weigh around 80-85kgs and am relatively lean. I've got a sixpack too. Sixpacks never go out of style. I go swimming and jogging on a regular basis. I lead an active lifestyle. I've got more than enough energy to play with my hypothetical kids for hours and hours. And my wife and I... I'll get to that in a few paragraphs. Health wise I've taken to healthy eating so I don't often get sick and on the rare occasions that I do, my hefty immune system can take down most viruses in no time flat. I'm looking forward to a long and healthy life.

In friendship, I have a diverse group of close friends. We have vastly different backgrounds and lifestyles, yet we still find time to meet up for a game of D&D or to have a few drinks around the barbie on most weekends. We support each other and use our influence in our various areas to give each other a bit of a leg up when needed. LU and A are two friends I'd definitely like to keep, even after we move out of each other's proximity. This rest of our D&D group too really. I think we really do have the potential to be an awesome, tight nit group of friends in a few years. My best possible future has all of them still in my life on a regular basis. Really, I love you guys.

Romance is wonderful. My best possible self in ten years is married to a stunningly attractive, intelligent and feisty redhead who challenges me every day to be a better person, to push myself to new levels. She loves me and I love her. Five years into our marriage (we had the ceremony on the beach) we still make our mutual friends sick with our playful flirting which appears to have no end. We enjoy a rather experimental sex life (utilising the awesome fitness we both share) and encourage our kids to visit their friends and grandparents regularly. We've been together long enough now that the initial chemical excitement has waned and given way to a stronger and more stable contentment and comfort with have with each other.

I've now become a recognised and moderately famous author. Enough that I can sustain a comfortable lifestyle for myself and my family. I churn out a couple of books a year which keeps us in beer and biskets and allows me to work from home. I've developed a loyal fan base and I occasionally procrastinate by going and chatting with them on the official fan forums, giving advice to young authors who are just starting out in the field. I have invested wisely and now have a very healthy stock portfolio. I don't really have to think much about money anymore.

I'm still in touch with my parents and my large house has become the place where the extended family knows they can always find a bed when they come to town to visit. My main focus now though is my own family. Three kids so far and planning for a couple more. We share a large, sectioned house with two or three other families of similar financial status, sharing expenses and meals which reduces the burden considerably. The kids can always get attention or help from somewhere in the house and all the adults care for all the children as they would their own. We live far enough outside the city that we don't have to worry about letting our kids wander around the property without an adult escort. All the kids are home... ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/15650455/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/15650455/ Sat, 24 Nov 2007 13:29:20 PST
That is what you get Howard! That is what you get when to take away people's right! That's what you get when you use the army to push your culture on the Aboriginal people and violate the treaties and land rights agreements they fought generations for... on the 40th anneversary of the bloody referendum that first declared them human! That is what you get when you take away worker rights that people fought for, lost their jobs for, campained for, for years! You took it all away in the blink of an eye without even asking. This is what you get asshole!

The Liberals used every dirty trick they knew. They had a bigger advertising budget by far. They pulled out embarrasing moments for Rudd's past. It just made him more popular! Haha! They spread fake flyers saying that Labor supports terrorism. And what did they do? They made Kevin Rudd and Labor a fucking underdog!! Bwahahahahahahahaaaaaaa. Labor didn't really need a campain. All they had to do was roll with the punches and resist the urge to punch back. It worked in Queensland for the last state election and now it has worked nationally. Get it Lib? Auzzies don't like it when you cheat! Fair go mate. lolz! Having the support of the multinational companies doesn't mean anything when you shoot your own people to get it! This is politics! It isn't about who has the most money. It is about who has the nicest hair... I mean it is about the issues (lol) no, I mean it is about popularity. And Mr Howard, you sir are out!

I for one welcome President Death... *ahem* Prime Minister Rudd. I look forward to freer laws for strip clubs. I am excited about worker's rights. What I am most excited about however is the Greens strength in all of this. In a Labor government, the Greens have a lot more sway. Rudd can say that the buck stops wherever he likes, it only works if he owns the senate and I'm hoping to see the greens hold the balance of power there. If that happens, the shape of the world will change. Humanity may even survive another 200 years. We'll see on that one. But this is a good step. Two green seats in the senate caused an uproar (and were thrown out of parlament) for not treating the American President as God. They asked him questions! What happens if they get ten seats?!! Revolution! Is it possible that we are finally free to walk without having to follow America every step of the way? I certainly hope so. I look forward to the rest of the world gradually forgetting that Australia and America were ever friends. That may take awhile but this is a step.

We won! Howard lost his seat! He is the second Prime Minister to have that happen in Australia! You know what, the other guy tried to take away worker rights too. That is what you get when you mess with us! The hope of resistance is in the prolls!

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/14170674/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/14170674/ Tue, 14 Aug 2007 20:00:02 PDT
Yesterday I was a little upset (a misunderstanding with a friend and also having to deal with a university bureaucracy in the same day and none of the stores in the city having the book I wanted except borders which had it at a greatly inflated price) so I was more than a little frustrated when I got home. I was borderline psychotic. It was an ideal time to begin my experiment. I'd already programmed myself with a collapse anchor (thinking one thing triggers a set of thoughts to bring the mind to a set conclusion) regarding my anger issues so when I got home I knew automatically that I had to play loud, aggressive music before interacting with anybody. Standing in my incredibly messy, dusty and smelly room which hadn't been cleaned since 2006 I realized that I needed to do something active and that is when I remembered my experiment.

I began cleaning. Furiously and meticulously. I was in search and destroy mode and my target was disorder. I found patches of floor I hadn't seen all year. There were papers from a seminar I attended in February and underneath them were notes from my prac last year. There was no time for reminiscing. I was engaged in avoidance behaviour and the lack of conscious thought was comparative bliss. There was dust everywhere and on everything. Rather than ignoring it as I normally do, I found that small feeling of repulsion and amplified it to an unusual level. Dust? In my room? How dare it! I had to be methodical about it though. I cannot vacuum until I've tidied absolutely EVERYTHING from the floor. The dust gathered in clusters in the corners like Jews in a Nazi invasion but I would not be intimidated. Like a gas chamber of Auschwitz I descended upon the fearful yet probably undeserving dust particles without mercy, sucking them into my vacuum cleaner of ethnic cleansing. Hmm... that metaphor was pointlessly offensive. Anyway, my room was soon sparkling and White. I even cleaned under my bed, behind the cupboards and on top of the bookshelf. When a part of me said, 'Okay, you've cleaned heaps. You can have a break now.' I ignored it and soldiered on like Germany into Russia. When I saw the state of the bathroom I promised myself 'I'll just clean up a little bit and then I'll stop.' I was soon vacuuming the whole house. After just four hours of cleaning it was already becoming a compulsion. I tried to have a break but I kept thinking about all the mess that was still in the house. I began compulsively scrubbing dishes, pots and pans which had been building up over the last few weeks. My housemates seemed either inspired or guilted into doing a little work also (Japan and Italy?). By the end of my frenzy I could barely move.

So far my experiment appears mostly successful. Today I am not feeling overly motivated to clean everything, though I did compulsively vacuum up a pile of dust that I missed last night. This is probably a good thing considering the number of assignments I have pending. The programming seems to be primarily a stress response at this stage. Cleaning to relax: I can see that being a useful trait. I am curious to see how far I can take this self programming concept.

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/13698877/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/13698877/ Wed, 11 Jul 2007 17:56:36 PDT [link]

The article above says that the cost to dance clubs in Australia (and thus the patrons) has been raised from 7 cents per person to $1.05 per person. This is over a 1000% increase. The article deals with the issues involved and why this decision has been made. I have no intention of arguing those points but I will share a prediction of what I see happening as a result.

The musicians who are excited about making more money will soon discover that the difference is marginal. Many smaller clubs will be forced to close down because they were only just getting by on the drink profits. A dance club licence is outragiously expensive and most small clubs don't make that much profit. A dance club doesn't make much off the drinks because half the patron are using extacy. Raising door prices again simply alienates clubs from their target market who were already struggling to keep up.

I see four things happening as a result of this decision.

First: People will discover that "private" parties in public bushland, farms and parks are cheaper and easier to organise even with the two hour drive each way. As an added bonus, they can download their playlists instead of buying CDs and any take on boose/drugs sold is cash in hand and tax free. Bushland raves will be the dance club of this era.

Second: Brothels, which pay no licencing fee or income tax... or anything else for that matter, will become the new trendy place to meet people because they are the only nightime entertainment that isn't being taxed into the ground. The waiting rooms will be expanded into dance floors and rather than popular music, they will play porno music because porn is the only media which covers all platforms without regional restrictions and also enjoys tax exempt status from the government because they don't want to be seen to be profiting from rampent sexuality.

Third: The dance clubs that do stay open will subsidise their losses with paid advertising breaks between songs.

Fourth: The new legislation will eventually drive everybody back into their homes where they will choose to play their Wii and X-box rather than face the world. The percentage of single people (already at record levels for human history) will continue upward as the only place to meet a potential partner will be through World of Warcraft or Second Life. For those lucky few who do manage to find a mate, the radiation from their television screens will have made them impotant, thus squashing their hopes of saving the human race from extinction for another generation.

And all this because some recording artists wanted more money. For shame.

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/13363051/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/13363051/ Fri, 15 Jun 2007 23:55:46 PDT

Sport: Recreation or Religion?


It can be freely observed that Australians are passionate about their sport. They show up in the thousands and tune in in the millions for the State of Origin, they even have a national holiday for the Melbourne cup. A New South Welshman will despise a Queenslander during the footy but love him as a brother when cricket season rolls in and the nation’s representatives face off against the West Indies. At what point does a nation’s obsession become the national religion? How should Christendom respond? What implications does this have for Christian schools that include team sport as part of their curriculum? To answer these questions there are several things that must be considered. Firstly factors in Australian history that caused sport to be valued so highly and how Christianity has responded to similar threats in the past. When these are weighed and compared with a biblical framework the answer should be clear.

During Australia’s penal beginnings, the Christian church, specifically the Anglican church, allied itself with the stasis quo and became the face of authoritarian domination of the people (Brady, p.265). God’s association with unjust power rather than being on the side of the poor and oppressed, is likely the primary cause for Australia’s distrust of organised religion (Brady, p.265). It isn’t a case of indecision, since 1986 the Australian Census has shown higher numbers of people state that they have no religion at all than people who choose not to answer the question (Hughes 1996, p.50). In addition to past mistakes, churches often perpetuate an “us and them” paradigm when they find themselves in positions of privilege and are unwilling to relinquish this position or allow others the same privilege (Baddock 1996). Postmodern Australia has weighed institutionalised Christianity, with its old and simplistic view of a complex world, and found it wanting (Klages 1997). In the vacuum of belief, it is possible that people will, rather than believe in nothing, believe in anything; even sport.

Is sport a religion? In and of itself sport is spiritually neutral, it is only the meaning placed on sport that can make it religious or secular (Giroux 1994, p.4). Within Australia it is commonly observable that news programs are made up of one third sport reporting. On Sundays this is then followed by programs like ‘Sport tonight’ and ‘The footy Show’ (Turner 2006, p.359). Stories about sports personalities dominate the front pages of daily tabloids and make up the extra bulk of the Sunday special paper (Sydney Morning Herald 2004). A sizable percentage of Australian celebrities are sporting personalities (Bessant & Watts 2002, p.247) Cleary this is a nation obsessed with their sport. Well obsessed, at least, with watching sport (Klein 2000, p.40). Although the nation’s cultural identity is closely linked to sports, the reality is that by age twenty, most Australian men have stopped playing sport (Bessant & Watts 2002, p.247). To have a cultural identity that is not based on reality but upon a leap of faith would appear to be the realm of the religious (Klein 2000, p.40; Lasn, K 1999, p.40).

If Australian sport, specifically violent or competitive sport, is indeed a religion it could be argued that the sport heroes are the gods but it may be more accurate to see them as the sacrifice (Sercombe 1999). Indeed, the religion of sport could be compared to the ancient Aztec religions in which child sacrifices became the personification of a god for a set time and were treated as that god until such time as their body was sacrificed to allow the god to return again and possess another child (Smith 1995). In Australian society teenagers who are physically adult are treated with general distain by the media except when they are dying for their county in war or enacting the peacetime equivalent of battling the neighbours in aggressively competitive sport, at which point they are deified and worshiped as the earthly incarnation of the war gods they represent until such time as their bodies fail under the strain and they are no longer able to satisfy the worshipers demands. At this time they are promptly cast aside to make way for new idols (Sercombe 1999; Lasn 1999, p.76; Smith 1995). When their avatar status is recognised it is hardly surprising that these young men behave in much the same way as the ancient gods; rape, violent outbursts, corruption and drug abuse making frequent headlines to tantalise rabid worshipers (Tiffin 2006). At present, the media, society and especially the school system serve to encourage competitive team... ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/13320258/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/13320258/ Tue, 12 Jun 2007 18:12:24 PDT
The answer surprised me. I'd always assumed I was destined for some huge, world altering quest that people would look back on in silent awe for generations but thismorning I couldn't help but feel that vision fading as a different set of goals began to emerge as the things that really matter to me.

My whole life I wanted to be immortal. Now when I was 8 that meant being a robot. When I was 12 it meant scanning my brain into a computer program and living in a digital afterlife that resembles World of Warcraft. When I was 15 it meant studying the ancient dark magics that claimed the secret of immortality lay within occult practices. At seventeen it meant being a vampire. At 20 it meant causing such an impact on the world as to never be forgotten. At 22 it was being a Christian and living in Heaven forever. At 23 it was becomming a high school teacher and transforming my students in a way that my impact would change the world through them. I get the feeling that now, at 25, it means something else again.

I still would like to impact the world in a positive way. I am convinced that the education system as it stands does not allow the freedom to do that at the level I would like. In my mind that system does more harm than good.

So I come to my current thinking. What I've been searching for is family. A wife I can partner with to raise kids that are healthy, happy and each one positively influenced by me taking the time to make them a priority. Loved so that they can love. An immortal line of my own self united with a woman I love to make such a beautiful form of immortality that could live on and forever benifit from wisdom I gave or the foundation I lay.

So back to goal setting: I need a means of making money that will provide the resources to comfortably raise a family with everything they need to become everything they can be without taking away the time I want to spend pouring my life into them. This vehicle must also be something I am passionate about so that it energises me.

So I now now thinking that I will drop the education part of my degree, finish the Bachelor of Arts and use that for graduate entry into a Post Graduate Degree in Psychology. From there I can become a personal life coach, set my own hours and my own rates and make more than enough money to supprt a family. I'll also be helping other people to achieve their dreams. I'll still transform the world, now, it'll be one person at a time.

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/13171635/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/13171635/ Fri, 01 Jun 2007 02:36:23 PDT
I don't ever recall having this issue before but then, I also don't recall trying to post images before. Oh well. I'll just post fun stuff elsewhere.

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/13168878/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/13168878/ Thu, 31 May 2007 20:05:53 PDT [link]

Free hugs is a real life controversial story of Juan Mann, A man whos sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives.

What a great concept. This journal feature is dedicated to the people who've gone out and made a stand for what they believe in and got lots of hugs in the process. I tell you what; going through and looking at all these pictures made me a bit mysty-eyed. Some of the people getting free hugs seem so relieved. It says a lot about our society's unnatural social conditioning.

:thumb53625427: :thumb41389760: :thumb53691219: :thumb52155348: :thumb42484381: :thumb44160503: :thumb42119325: :thumb41804764: :thumb53221933: :thumb44159629: :thumb45929522: :thumb55728230: :thumb42484873: :thumb44159342: :thumb50480484: :thumb53516252: :thumb46102647: :thumb51366936: :thumb42711307: :thumb39003443: :thumb45791563: :thumb42505117: :thumb54350628: :thumb52707657: :thumb47355820: :thumb52876123: :thumb55266533: :thumb46628656: :thumb53140565: :thumb52113570: :thumb54699691: :thumb44283104: :thumb42162366: :thumb47409243: :thumb55984845: :thumb42468701: :thumb42469125: :thumb55266098: :thumb55266029: :thumb55266175:

Edit: I am in the process of working out how to make the thumbs work.

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/12956788/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/12956788/ Mon, 14 May 2007 17:57:11 PDT
Health
The night before the beginning of my practicum (over a month ago now) I got suddenly very very sick. I had nausea, hot and cold flushes, dizziness and I was hallucinating that every thought I had was materializing in text form and attacking me. Well, when I say attacking, a stack of words were hovering above my bed and being very menacing and making it hard to breathe. The rest of that week I suffered some pretty nasty diarrhea which made for an interesting prac.
I think the pig trotter soup may've had something to do with my condition.

Practicum
This would easily be the worse practicum I've ever had. First there was the fact that I had to go home halfway through the first day because I got no sleep the night before (see above). This is not a great way to impress your mentors but my brain just couldn't handle it. Well the “lazy” impression that gave one of my mentors lasted for the entire prac.
When it comes to lesson preparation, I was expected to have about three pages of text for every lesson plan the day before I was to teach. That is pretty standard for CHC students but when I had my mentor ripping into every aspect of every lesson I wrote and requiring me to rewrite ever lesson I showed her the workload quickly piles up. It got to the stage where I had to spend my lunch and morning tea breaks writing lesson plans because all of my time at home was spend correcting the lesson plans I had shown her. Lets just say it was rather stressful.
For my first lecturer visit I was going to have Darren, who is reputed to count “um”s but is otherwise a fair marker. He was sick. Instead I was visited by the Dean of Education who is known for being a very tough marker. To make matters worse, my printer was out of ink and the school computers wouldn't let me access email so I was down to my last resort for transporting information: a dinky USB stick. When I went to print the lesson plan I had spent hours perfecting, I got a blank lesson plan template instead. The Dean was not happy. The lesson was a shambles. Long story short: I got an E for that lesson and it wasn't for Excellent.
My second lecturer visit went slightly better. I had my lesson plan, my materials and pretty much everything I needed. I hit all my objectives perfectly... except they were the wrong objectives. That dragged down everything else and I ended up with a D that doesn't stand for Distinction.
It wasn't all bad. My mentors went away on grade eleven camp for my last two days. Those classes went really well. I also enjoyed the time that I was actually teaching. The paperwork behind teaching, I could happily live without.

Goals
So now I'm thinking about what I actually want to do with my life. The idea was to go to college and become a teacher then write novels in the holidays until I get accepted by a publishing house. The reality is that no teacher has the time to write on the side. I am surprised teachers have the time to do anything else. Those great holidays seem to be used by most teachers as a catchup for all the things they should've done during the term but didn't have time for. I couldn't live like that.
So the question arises, why did I choose teaching in the first place? The answer is pretty sad really. I prayed for God to tell me what I should do and instead of looking at the gifts he gave me for my answer, I listened to people. People said “be a teacher”. I thought it was pretty amazing that several people gave me the same response until I discovered that there are only really about 5 industries that are acceptable for members of my church to enter and the most prominent two are business (because you bring money into the church) and teaching (because you'll get experience for leading a church and you can get a job anywhere and that go and plant churches all over the world). Well, it is time to start asking what I want.
I want to create. I want to use my imagination. I want to paint, draw, write and act. What are my talents? I have a vivid imagination and think in a way that most people find novel and interesting. I can write and draw with some level of ability. I could write and illustrate my own books. An added bonus there is there is really no limit to how much money you can potentially make in a royalty based income. It could be very lucrative. Yes, it is a bit more risky than teaching but what is life without a little risk? Besides, if I am working toward something I am passionate about, I invariably rise to the top. That is just something I do. I'm going to go for it.
So how do I ge... ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10740789/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10740789/ Thu, 16 Nov 2006 02:33:33 PST
My acting skills have certainly improved as a direct result of the work in this unit. The monologue task in particular was of great benefit to me. That performance was probably my most successful since I got back into acting three years ago. I've always had trouble learning my lines and this time was no exception. The difference this time was that I was faithful in reading the script every day and trusted in myself to be able to remember when crunch time came. The skills and techniques I've learned for memorisation in this class will be invaluable to me in my future as both and actor and a teacher.

My personal journey this semester has been a bit of a rough road. Choosing to step down from church leadership to focus on my studies was a decision which met no small amount of criticism from my church elders. I stand by my choice and I believe it is because of that choice that I have been able to pass all my units this semester. Sadly, my church will not permit me to be involved in the drama ministry when they consider me to be unfaithful in my other ministries. This is a bit of a shame because last semester I had finally been considered worthy of writing, coordinating and directing a drama piece for the church and now all that is gone. Still, the choice to focus on my studies is leading me to a far greater ministry that I believe I have been directly called to.

Where all this fits in relation to my thoughts and views as a committed Christian is all a bit hazy right now since I am currently in the midst of what Catholics call a "wilderness experience" and my church calls "backsliding". So my thoughts as a committed Christian may come across as occasionally less committed and less Christian than would be appreciated. I haven't been to church or read my Bible for anything other than a "Christian perspective" quote to stick on the end of an assignment for two months. I could probably lie and say how wonderful life is to be buddies with God but lies are something I chose to leave behind a long time ago. I want to write the "right" answer but this is what is coming out.

So where does this leave me as a Christian drama teacher? I don't really know the answer to that but one thing I have noticed is that my muse which seemed to dry up when I first joined my current church is returning with wave after wave of emotion and creativity. When I've finished this pile of assignments I have about 3 books and 10 artworks inside my head begging to be given the opportunity to exist.

What I'm learning is that my past life, my first 22 years, are still relevant and valuable. I don't need to discard the lessons I learned on the streets. I don't need to pretend none of it happened or even paint it with the testimony brush to make it seem like I don't value any of it anymore. I did some really good things when I was a Goth. It wasn't all black and evil. I built puppets for homeless kids. I curetted the "Homeless Art" exhibition at the Powerhouse. I directed and performed professional fire dancing productions at South Bank. My house was a shelter for abused kids when they needed a place to hide. I could speak on equal terms with streeties, police and politicians. I was a big brother to so many homeless kids and would've given my life to protect any one of them. These were good things that I had almost forgotten because an ex-gangster testimony doesn't sound so impressive when the subject was more active in helping the desperate before he was a Christian, before he got tangled in church politics and doctrines.

So now I am incorporating the good things I have developed in the last few years as a Christian with my earlier outlook on life to become a more rounded member of society. My church won't like it and I may have to find a new church. It is sad but it is an acceptable price to pay to become the person that I really need to be.

How does all this relate to this unit? Well I guess my Christian walk impacts every area of my life and this unit is no exception. I want to be a drama teacher and I want to act on stage again. I want to perform purely for the satisfaction of creating something beautiful. No didactic requirements, so syllabus requirements; simply art for arts sake. The performance pieces in this unit have helped me achieve that to some level. Yes, there were being marked but it never felt like it was all about the marks.

In the group performance that feeling was particularly evident. It was great to be part of a creative p... ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10723367/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10723367/ Tue, 14 Nov 2006 13:15:35 PST
1. To pursue ultimate Truth and knowledge.
2. To respond honestly, appropriately and completely the knowledge that is currently available in so far as to not violate the prime directive.

This has been true of me for my entire life but it is only now that I have been able to articulate it. This is why I was an immesnely passionate and active Christian and also why I cannot go back to exactly what I was even if it did make me happy. Happiness was never a major goal.

This would also explain why, when several church leaders have called me "unteachable", I have responded with such pain and concluded that I am not known at all by my church. I think this is coming closer to my core issue than the intellectual arguments that have resulted. Those arguments are still valid, but my core concerns must be dealt with first. I do not want to make a decision based on hurt feelings. I also will not make a decision based on blind faith. I want to make my eventual decision based on logical examination of the available evidence as well as intuition.

It is not enough to make a choice. I have to know if I am responding to all available knowledge towards the truth..

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10616210/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10616210/ Sat, 04 Nov 2006 16:52:40 PST
I have extensively studied Christian origins and many other ancient religions. I've concluded that all religion is man made; including Christianity. The Bible is written by people to help people. Christ worked within accepted social custom to affect change. I see that as a life worth emulating. For that reason, I think I can still be considered "Christian". I identify with aspects of many religions. I am equally comfortable celebrating the festiville of lights with my Hindu friends as I am praising God at church or meditating alone.

I see a universe beyond measure, composed of energy and behaving as an organism. I suppose this organism could be called God. I see that I am connected to every other being and that all life should be respected. We all make up a single whole. What is good for the whole becomes good for the parts. Self serving needs to be balenced with serving the whole. In the end, the two are inseperable.

What does all this mean? I haven't fully worked that out yet.

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10564037/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10564037/ Mon, 30 Oct 2006 20:08:12 PST The "friends" who distance themselves from me because my beliefs don't line up can stay distant for all I care.
The "Christians" who wish evil on anyone from any other world and who delight in the suffering of others for "the glory of God" view I don't need.
The Bible used, twisted and abused to make me do what I don't want to do I could burn without remorse.
Leaders who rape and pillage the minds, souls and even bodies of their congregation then preach on the glory of God to overcome lust; I could walk away and never look back.
The anti-intellectualism that says "You are thinking to much. You need to repent and ask God to help you with your unbelief" I could bury under a pile of lecture notes.
Being pushed into ministry after ministry and meeting after meeting until you have nothing left to give because if you don't break your back for this church then you obviously don't love God; I could happily tuck that behind the TV.
The fact that if I don't accept my leaders advice without question then I am hard hearted and unteachable, when they disregard my advice they are being decisive.
The shocked look that Christians get when you tell them you went to a "pagan" festival for any reason other than evangelism I could easily live without.
That same look of horror if you have a quiet drink or enter a pub.
Don't even get me started if you become friends with someone of the opposite sex. Yes. I said sex!
The way many Christians look down their nose at non-christians in that superior "I'm saved and you're not" or "I pity you and your hellish fate" way; should come under the scalpel for some serious body modification.
Other religions are guilty of the same thing and I reject them all.
There are so many things about Christianity that I hate.
There are so so many things about Christianity that I would not miss.
There are so many questions it cannot answer.
There are so many ways it is unreasonable.

But I want my God back.

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10383507/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10383507/ Fri, 13 Oct 2006 19:02:51 PDT
Odd thing though, I didn't. Instead I reflected on how utterly convinced I am of the errancy of the Bible that I would be willing to stake my eternal destiny on my belief that the death of Jesus Christ and accepting him as lord etc will not impact my eternal destiny in any particularly spectacular way. I simply do not believe in a god who would send millions of good people to Hell for the sake of a prayer. Some people are better off believing in such things and I think that if it gives you meaning, comfort, morality and purpose then it is a good thing. I highly endorse any religion that promotes spiritual and emotional wellbeing. I am beginning to see that even the manipulative religions have their place in creating centered and happy people.

So what do I believe now? I'm not sure. I do know what I don't believe. I don't believe the Bible to be the literal, inerrant word of God. It reads far too much like a constructed text. Please, feel free to offer reasons why you disagree, I am still open to being convinced but after researching dozens of world religions there are certain patterns that form. The Bible fits the pattern of every other holy text and it is not the most convincing in terms of origin. I don't believe that the God of the old testament chose the Jews any more than he chose every other race on the planet who has a creation myth declaring them the superior/chosen people of God. I don't believe that because a religious sect sprung up amongst the poor in the first century AD suggested that God favoured the poor, he therefore must favour the poor. People worship gods who favour them. I don't believe that the contradictory creation stories in Genesis one and two are correct. I don't believe the Earth is only 6000-10000 years old when ice layers in the Antarctic which form at the rate of one layer per year would reach a depth of 650,000 layers. I do not believe that twisting scientific evidence to fit with a belief you have already chosen is good science or good religious practice. By setting a yardstick that is immovable, mainstream Christianity has made its framework too rigid to withstand any error. When the contradiction that cannot be covered up is found, the whole house of cards comes crashing down. That's were I am now.

So again, what is my metanarrative? For what purpose do I exist? Why do I continue to get up in the morning and work toward something greater than the moment? There must be something.

Actually, I am beginning to form a view on that. Rather than throwing out the baby with the bath water, I can see some things of value in Christianity, even if I disagree with the specifics of origin and salvation. Actually, I'm seeing quite a lot of value in a number of religions. Everybody is looking for God. Even the scientific atheists are seeking to understand the universe. Perhaps, when all of these different beliefs find what they've been looking for, we'll discover that we've all been going in the same direction the whole time. As each religion grows closer to their gods we will realize that they are in fact the one God and as we come closer to him/her/it/them we will also grow closer to each other.

So my purpose seems to be coming into clarity. Once again, it seems that the goal is about unity. Grow closer to God as I understand him and (where possible) help others to do likewise. This requires some level of growth on my part and I see that as a good thing. Now that I have an general life goal, it will soon be time to develop a means of achieving it. That is the easy part.

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10183612/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10183612/ Mon, 25 Sep 2006 15:29:52 PDT

I'm feeling much better but it is looking like I probably shouldn't go back into church ministry because I don't really believe in what the church doctrine says I need to in order to be a Christian anymore. I still believe Jesus is a good example to follow and I know he said he was God. But I am beginning to doubt the account of him being the biological son of God. What I read tends to point to it being more likely that he is the son of Joseph with the story of his “virgin birth” being a standard textual feature of many writings of the time regarding anyone who claimed divine right to rule. Unlike the empty tomb, there is no extrabiblical evidence to support a virgin birth. Well, I'm still thinking about that one. But I probably shouldn't be in leadership over anyone in the church if my thinking is so far from church theology.


I admit to having wanted to be different and yet accepted for my difference to prove to myself that I am valuable as in individual. This is not that. I am not being different for the sake of being accepted as an individual. Honestly, I don't think I would be accepted when my thoughts go this way. I really don't know what to do here. I can't seem to line the Bible and objective truth together anymore. If the Bible is to be taken literally then I don't know if I can accept it as true. I don't think I can lie to myself anymore and close my eyes to the issues I have with it. I am told that an honest exploration of the evidence will lead me to know that the Bible is true yet it is not looking that way at the moment. I've heard the argument that there are smarter people than me that have no problem with the thinks I am seeing as inconsistencies but I also know that a lot of people have honestly read the Bible and found it lacking also.


If I can't believe that the Bible is 100% true in the way that Christians generally interpret it does that mean I am not a Christian? If I read it and it looks to me more like the work of man than of God does that mean I am backsliding? Is this the end of my dream of being a preacher and pastor?


I still believe in God. I still talk to God. I still want to live a life according to the good advice and principles outlined in the Bible. I still believe that the message Jesus brought was exactly what the world needed to hear at that time. I believe that we need more people to follow Jesus example and step out from the crowd and work within the current cultural beliefs to open people to the truth in ways that they can see it. Help the Jews be better Jews, help Christians be better Christians, help Buddhists be better Buddhists. Perhaps one day, as we all move towards our perceptions of God will will even realize that we are moving in the same direction.


I am way too small to achieve that. That dream is even bigger than what I wanted to do before. This is unity on a whole other level. This is huge. This is scary. This is going to need the help of one awesome God to accomplish what is beginning to form in my head. Well, there's my hour again. There seems to be something exciting forming here and I'm not sure what it is yet. This may not be the end of me after all. I am curious to see where this line of thinking is going to take me.

]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10134280/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/10134280/ Wed, 20 Sep 2006 16:08:31 PDT
There is another reason I haven't posted for awhile. I have, yet again, fallen into disequilibrium regarding Christianity (or at least my church's particular brand of Christianity). Normally I would be more comfortable posting my findings after I have weighed the arguments, made a decision and committed action to it, but it seems that is unlikely to happen. Instead, I will write down my current thoughts in an attempt to at least stabilise my thinking process in some sort of concrete form. I'm giving myself only one hour to think about this issue today before moving my focus back to assignments that need to be completed.

This is a long and complicated issue but it finds a peak at a point several weeks ago. In church, I decided that as a way of expressing how God was most important to me over anything else, I put on a blindfold at the beginning of the service which I kept on throughout the service and removed at the end. I felt that this was most likely from God as it was certainly not something I would choose to do as I normally like to be aware of my surroundings, distrustful person that I am. This act was particularly relevant to me for several reasons but mostly because I had recently been to the optometrist who had made an appointment for me to return as he was concerned that I may have a degenerating eye condition that could lead to complete blindness by the age of thirty. I wanted to express that while preferencing complete healing, I would willing worship God even if a went blind. It was an incredibly freeing experience for me. Because I couldn't see what other people were doing, I responded to the sermon as I thought I should (with "amen" and "preach it brother" in appropriate places) rather than how I saw those around me responding. Aside from having somebody try to rip the thing off me the leap of faith went well.

I felt that part of the sacrifice was to not explain my actions to anybody until after the second eye examination as an act of faith. The following Tuesday my resolve was put to the test when my church mentor (and acting pastor) openly rebuked me and said that God would not approve of my actions in church which offended somebody who thought I was isolating myself. It turns out that he was the one who tried to rip it off me. Now, I didn't explain myself other than to say I had a reason that I couldn't tell him. That didn't go down well either. As a church leader I need to be more responsible.

Now, this is just one incident but it got me thinking. The God I worship looks at the heart motivations behind an action. My personal theology tends to lean toward the scriptures about passionate worship and dancing in ephods. My mentor's theology is centered more on the "don't cause another to stumble in their or I'll make you wish you were never born" principle. Both of these beliefs can be backed up with the Bible, yet they appear mutually exclusive in their interpretations. One God is concerned with actions, the other with motives. My God, the one I supposedly have a personal relationship with, speaks one thing to my heart, yet a church leader who supposedly has a personal relationship with the same God hears something completely different. Conclusion, at least one of us is not hearing directly from God...probably both.

Now lets extend this. I have probably receive more prophecies of greatness than any other member of my church. World wide evangelist, miracle faith healer, powerful intercessor (prayer), lead thousands to Christ, transform the world, etc... yet every visiting Prophet has passed me over with very general "time to walk on another level" type prophecies or ignored me completely. Is this the same God talking or is it just that at first glance I look like another face in the crowd yet anyone who knows me, knows I will transform the world just because of who I am? Is it revelation or observation? Is it coincidence that every prophetic word I get usually relates to something the "prophet" is passionate about? If people are hearing from God, why is the message inconsistent? Is it really a reamer word, or is it the product of imagination?

I saw a faith healer at work on Sunday. It was a great show and very impressive. People went up for healings and fell over with "the power!". I noticed that it seemed to be the same people going up several times for different ailments. I also noticed the the "word of knowledge" that came forth seemed to be statistically probable. eg: "God is tell... ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/9228709/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/9228709/ Fri, 30 Jun 2006 06:20:13 PDT

Before I begin, let me point out that I have seen more amazing moves of God than most Christians. I've seen my dad healed of arthritis and I've had amazing personal experiences of the touch of God. I've felt the Holy Spirit land on me like a truck. I am no spurious convert who never had a relationship with God. None of this makes me immune to doubt. Doubt is something we must all face. We can either confront it, ignore it or give in to it but we cannot avoid it.


In researching for my paper on Deism and Postmodernism I encountered many ideas that conflict with my church's version of Christianity. I am not a person who is able to reject information just because it doesn't fit with my perceived view of the world. I made a decision a while ago, accepting Christ as the new center of my life, based on the logic of Pascal's wager (see below). This argument is logically sound when there are only two variables but I don't think it stands well as an absolute foundation of faith. I had uncovered a weakness in my faith.


Pascal's wager (simplification):

God + Faith = Heaven

God + No Faith = Hell

No God + Faith = Death

No God + No Faith = Death


Now as I've said, I think too much. I've worked out ways that a stage magician/hypnotist could simulate most of the miracles the Bible describes to some degree. Even the Bible says that signs and wonders are not enough of a proof of somebody being from God. So what else is there? Their teaching? How do we know that comes from God? How do we know the Bible is true? Certainly, there is no denying that it is historically accurate to what was written 2000 years ago but who is to say it was inspired of God? It really does seem to be a bit of a gamble.


So in this last week I've gone without reading my Bible for 4 days strait. That is the longest I've gone since I became a Christian nearly three years ago. I've been questioning and searching for a clue as to whether God truly exists and if there is credible ground for faith. There is certainly a tangible psychological need for faith but in what god? In what concept? Is there any way of knowing if what we believe is true?


What are the consequences of God not existing? Well, utter despair and meaninglessness for one thing. I've looked at other religions and every one of them comes up short in some area while Christianity remains the only whole religion. We need to believe in something and I can't suspend my disbelief in any other religious belief long enough to convince myself. In the end the thinker finds himself in the position to either trust God or doubt everything. In doubt have found anger, apathy, hopelessness and despair. I cannot live like that.


So my conclusion: God exists because he has to.


It isn't the most intellectual argument out there but that is the point. It is not about being smart, it is about being desperate. Without faith in God my life is worthless. With God, I cannot be stopped. I would die for my faith because the alternative is worse than death. ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/9144932/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/9144932/ Thu, 22 Jun 2006 06:48:06 PDT

Deism is primarily concerned with the nature of God, origin, truth and ethics. The nature of man is considered. Any external reality outside of the physical universe or afterlife is considered irrelevant to discussion for the Deist. Deists have no set religious doctrine and beliefs vary among the various philosophers of the worldview. Generally, Deists believe that an infinite, intelligent designer created the universe and all the scientific laws which govern it and that all that can be known about said designer can be seen in the creation without divine revelation.

For a finite, causational universe to exist there is a requirement of a first cause uncaused. Deists acknowledge this need as met by an intelligent designer. The designer must be intelligent because if the movement of matter requires a will then it makes sense that the logical movement of matter requires a logical will (Rousseau 1957, p.16). Order is not the product of chaos (Rousseau 1957, p.17). It is generally considered that, like a blind watchmaker, God makes no further interaction with his creation apart from what he has already established (Wikipedia 2006 B; Clarke n.d., p.5). Many modern Deists see God as creating the universe using the tool of the Big Bang (Clarke n.d., p.5).

Deists believes that the designer, after creating the world, does not interfere with the natural order which he has established (Wikipedia 2006 B). While he doesn't change the rules, he hasn't entirely left the picture either. The presence of the creator can be experienced in the profound and unfathomable relationship that he shares with every element of the universe (Wikipedia 2006 B; Rousseau 1957, p.19). Some Deists profess a belief in God's interaction with his creation at some level though this is not a universal belief of Deists (6; Rousseau 1957, p.v). George Washington, a well known Deist, made frequent reference to 'divine providence' in public addresses (Adams & Schurb 2005, p.200). Far from being removed from experience, God's existence can be felt and experienced through prayer and meditation (Rousseau 1957, p.19). The experience of God's presence to the Deist is one of awe, epiphany, fellowship and transcendence (Wikipedia 2006 B). This is the nature of the Deist's prayers; not a state of supplication or begging God to change one's circumstances but rather a state of appreciation in God's creation (Wikipedia 2006 B). Prayer doesn't change God but rather, changes the individual, reminding them of their reliance on God and in bringing them back to God, gives them the strength within themselves to do what needs to be done (Nicholls 1995, p.198). There is no specific form that prayer or worship needs to take but rather, God should be honored in the way the individual feels is best (Wikipedia 2006 B).

Deists believe in a single supreme God who is omnipotent, omniscient and beyond comprehension (Robinson 1995; Rousseau 1957, p.33-34). He is not destructive or malicious as limitless power has the necessary effect of complete goodness within ultimate security, a being that has no needs and no fears would have no reason to be selfish, cruel or to shortchange his creation (Rousseau 1957, p.29). The creator's specific characteristics are revealed through the creation and can be discerned through reason alone (Wikipedia 2006 B, Robinson 1995). To only reveal himself to selected individuals through special revelation would seem to go against what Deists see as his character. To only reveal himself to people born into the right family in the right country or following the right doctrine and condemn all others to eternal punishment would seem to go against the observable characteristics of God.

The Deist observes that there is sharp and often violent disagreement between religions which are primarily caused by a dispute between which divine revelations are accepted or rejected. The diversity amongst religions is the result of revelations which are fanciful and therefore unreliable (Rousseau 1957, p.59). Because revelation has shown itself to be unreliable, even when accompanied by signs and wonders, it is considered by Deists to be of little value in discovering actual truth (Rousseau 1957, p.58; Adams & Schurb 2005, p.198). People may 'hear from God' simply to back their opinion. Selfish pride is the biggest hindrance of truth (Rousseau 1957, p.53). Reason and logic are considered to be greater than revelation and tradition for the purpose of uncovering truth (Wikipedia 2006 B). Deists believe that since this is a rational universe, any truth must be plain, observable and recognizable to anyone who cares to look (Rousseau 1957, p.15, 55). Paine sought to answer religious questions by logic alone (Wikipedia 2006 B). Deism doesn't claim to have all the answers, just to be on the right track to finding them eventually (Ngatai & Towle 2004). Early Deist philosophers believed that all tru... ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/8608894/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/8608894/ Fri, 28 Apr 2006 05:43:35 PDT
We went to the Vic at intermission and I got carded (Andy didn't). You know, at 25 it doesn't feel so bad to be asked for ID. I wonder if I will ever look my age. Somehow doubtful. My dad didn't look a day above 40 until he was 60. Praise God and the wonders of healthy living. ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/7398823/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/7398823/ Sat, 24 Dec 2005 04:01:01 PST ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/7394321/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/7394321/ Fri, 23 Dec 2005 16:50:14 PST ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/6500241/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/6500241/ Wed, 14 Sep 2005 04:32:57 PDT neoikeia: "God" let satan completely fuck up a dudes life in the bible just to prove a point. Is that love?

"God" if he's so powerful and almighty and loved us as much as you say, would not have let us ever be capable of sin if he loved us. If he loved us he would not have created evil, because if as you say god created everything then he also created satan.

If god cries every time a sparrow falls from its nest wouldn't it have been better to wipe out those oh-so-sinful people of new orleans with a disease that wouldn't have affected the rest of his 'beloved creations'? Or did the little cats and birds sin too.

If god gave half a shit about anyone he wouldn't have allowed something "evil" like homosexuality (and shame on you for making someone who has certain sexual preferences that they CANNOT help feel bad) to exist.

Can you explain this all to me without beating around the corners with things like "Because that's the way god wants it" or "We're too mortal and stupid to understand" or "because it says so in the bible"?


~jamindavey: I can try.

Why did God create anything? Why create billions of stars that we would never see? Why create such an incredible universe to house a speck of humanity? Why make atomic particles and DNA at such a detailed, minute level that even looking at them can cause them to change? Why bother?

First, lets take the focus off this tiny speck of humanity and the petty little ideas we use to try to lable our world and look to God. Now, supposing that God is good and perfect and holy and rightious then the most holy thing we can do is to glorify God and be God centered. Therefore, God is justifiably self centered. The primary goal of God is not (as some would have you believe) to love, but to glorify Himself. For us? No, for Himself.

Now God is entirely self sufficient but as an expression of His glory He creates the heavenly hosts to be eturnally awed by His magnificence as a gift to them. For His greater glory He allows the angels the ability to think for themselves and one he makes so incredibly glorious that he thinks he is even as good as God (this also glorifies God's creative ability) and the angel rebels, leading a third of the angels in a war that was over before it started. God takes an eturnal being from Heaven and casts it (and its followers) into a place of finite time where its eturnal, immortal body will eventually clash with the finite environment causing eturnal anguish to wreck havok and glorify God by comparison.

Now, to further glorify Himself, God then takes the chaos and creates order and in the midst of the finite universe He creates a finite being and glorifies this simple creation with a facet of the image of God Himself and breathes His life into His creation. Just as He was glorified by sending an infinite being into finite reality, He will be even more glorified by bringing a finite being from the finite reality into the eturnal reality from directly under Satan's nose.

The fallen angel in his pride thinks he can foil this plan and tempts the woman and the man but God had an even greater glory planned. The history of the universe was leading up to the point where He would glorify Himself by His incredible humility to take the form of the finite creation and even give up His life as a ransom to balence the scales of divine justice and even give the recipiants of this gift the choice to even reject the offer. God is thus glorified to a higher level to Himself. Does God love? Yes, but it is hardly His only difining atribute.

What does this have to do with dead sparrows and homosexual cats? Humanity chose to reject God and let Satan become the "god" of this world. Sin is not a cause but a byproduct of a fallen world, ruled by Satan. God's grace prevents Satan from destroying humanity entirely because it His intention to save some for eturinty but eventually it will all be destroyed. Sometimes, God will remove His protection a little as a warning of the wrath that is to come. Eventually, everybody dies. If you die in a storm, a car or in your sleep, it is irrelevant because inevitably you will come to God and He will either be glorified by your agonising wailing as your eturnal spirit is gripped in the death of your finite world and you scream as an eturnal testiment to the fact that God is not to be mocked and His justice is eturnal, or you glorify Him even more by turning to Him when you cannot see and allowing Him to rescue you and spend eturnity singing His praises. Either way, every knee WILL bow and EVERY tongue will confess that He is Lord.

Well, that probably isn't the smiley pat answer you were expecting but it is honest to the best of my ability.




Job 38<... ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/6374371/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/6374371/ Wed, 31 Aug 2005 00:37:38 PDT
When we had walked a long distance from the house, I stopped and knelt down so I could look her in the eyes. Very gently I said, “Misha, I just can't trust you any more.” Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I continued: “It hurts Daddy so much that he can't trust his daughter. What are we going to do about it?”

She was taken by surprise at my tears. She had seen us threaten, spank and reprimand, but never cry over the situation. Her little face grimaced in sorrow, and I could see that for the first time she understood that her sin was affecting me and our relationship. I didn't say any more, and we arranged to meet in my office after school.

Sally and I were waiting for her in my office when she arrived home from school. I repeated the question, “Misha, what are we doing to do?”

She walked over to me and began to cry. “Daddy, what can I do so you will trust me again?” She threw her arms around me and sobbed, “Daddy, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I don't want to hurt you.”

Sally and I began to weep with her, and I said, “Misha, we forgive you.” After I had said those words, something changed in the situation. Trust for Misha returned to my heart. That was not the first time she had apologized for lying to me, but I knew that this time she had a revelation of how much her sin hurt me. In her six-year-old heart she truly repented that day. I forgave her and trust was restored. From that day on her pattern of lying was broken. (McClung 1990)

As I read this I became aware of how God is hurt when I sin and turn away from him.

Genesis 6:6
The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain.
Isaiah 63:10
But they rebelled and grieved his holy Spirit

I still don't comprehend the pain that I have caused God in my selfishness. I understand that, like a parent, his grief is not selfish but it is because he knows what the cost a sin is far better than I do. He paid that price. Jesus knew the extent of what he was about to do when his body was so stressed that blood ran from his pores. This is a documented medical condition that is caused by extreme levels of stress. He knew, better than any other, what Hell would be like and how utterly unbearable separation from God would be. God knows. He sees from a higher vantage point. That is why he grieves. He sees us destroying ourselves in our selfishness.

I am terrified to pray this prayer. I don't know what to expect or how I will handle it; but I cannot go on knowing that I'm hurting the one who loves me so utterly. I have to know. I have to know how much my sin grieves you God. I have to see what I am doing through your eyes. I cannot stop for myself or by myself. Anyone who expects less than nothing from me gives me credit that belongs to God. I am and have nothing. God please, strengthen my heart to bear the pain and show me what you see. Show me my sins and the hurt that I've caused. Let me understand the offence so that I can better understand forgiveness. Please God, I love you. I don't want to hurt you. ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/6264101/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/6264101/ Thu, 18 Aug 2005 17:33:38 PDT
Anyway, the movie sparked a conversation about what makes for a healthy relationship. Is it about surrendering yourself to the needs of the other? Is it about knowing yourself before you can love somebody else? Is it selfish, selfless or both? It also got me thinking about my own checkered past. Every girl I've ever had a non-platonic relationship with that lasted more than a week has ended up becoming disturbingly submissive to my every whim. I've had girls I've been dating hopping on one leg and singing children's songs to try to point out how stupid this submissive thing is but it just made them want it more. One of my girlfriends went from being a pack-a-day smoker to only a couple of puffs on one cigarette on the days she didn't see me just because I told her to. I am starting to realize what it is about my personality that made these girls all fall into this role. It is a good thing to know if I want to avoid that happening in my next and final relationship whenever that will be.

This morning I started wondering, what does God think about all this? Why does there seem to be this disequilibrium between men and women that women want to be dominated and men are afraid to? What is wrong with this design? Partly, I think the sinful nature may be involved but not in the way I first thought. I also began to consider how God can be dominant for those who want to be dominated. Isiah 81:11 says “The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”so it can be inferred that if a person needs to be dominated then God will do that. It doesn't say that it is a need but only that God will satisfy it if it is. So, if I have this inner craving to be controlled but I have never been able to submit to anyone because I considered them below me, God is the ideal domination partner. As Elle says in the movie “I had never walked home alone before but because he told me to it was like he was with me” (or something to that effect). If you need a person to tell you to do things you are not comfortable with in order for you to be secure and become a better person; read the Bible! Sitting with your hands planted on a desk and your feet on the floor for three days is nothing compared to obeying God's word. Well, thats what I found as a new Christian, that God was the one I would submit to. The one who would never make me do anything that would harm me but would use my submission to mold me into his own likeness. The only one worthy to tell me how to live and the one who proved his love that while I was still a sinner he died for me.

So God is into domination. What about in a marriage? Should husbands dominate their wives? There seems to be a craving for the right kind of domination. Well, I could remember something about that in the Bible but I couldn't remember where. I decided to get up read my daily chapter and get my day started so I opened my Bible to the bookmarked page, thinking “God, what do you want me to learn today?” and there it was. That page I just happened to be up to was Colossians 3. “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” (Col 3:18-19 NIV). So there it is. I didn't look for it. I was what God had planned me to read and it answers the question precisely. Wives submit to their husbands as long as its not against God, but the really important part there is that husbands love their wives and are not harsh with them. So submission and domination have their place in a good Christian marriage.

Well, I'm sure there are plenty of people who would like to bring in their own definitions and call me a heathen because they think I've said God digs BDSM. Just for the sake of people reading this rather than my own understanding as the previous was, I'll offer a clarification of my conclusions. Domination is not whips and chains, it is not rough sex, it is not essentially... ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/6200367/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/6200367/ Thu, 11 Aug 2005 17:28:52 PDT

Many Christians pay lip service to being saved by grace but few really know what that means or how to live it out in their daily lives. Without a solid understanding of grace, even an experienced Christian can easily fall into a pattern of trying to earn God's favour by their own efforts or believing that they can sin with impunity because the price has been paid already. With the eternal destiny of millions of professing Christians in the balance it is critical to come to an accurate understanding of what the Bible really says about God's grace and how we should respond to it.


There are many misconceptions about what legalism really is (Bridges 1997). It is important to understand how legalism affects the individual before grace can be accurately understood (Alexander 2005; Bridges 1997). Legalism is the belief, stated or not, that a person's deeds can change God's opinion of them favourably or unfavourably (Spurgeon 1996). This belief can prompt a person into performing endless tasks in an attempt to gain approval from both God and man (Alexander 2005). This parody of righteousness can lead to self-righteousness (Bridges 1997), the creation of a 'false self' (Alexander 2005), judging others who don't appear to measure up (Spurgeon 1996), a lack of faith due to feelings of inadequacy and of being undeserving of God's blessing (Bridges 1997), the idea of obligating God into action (Bridges 1997), discouragement when the person is not treated as they perceive themselves to deserve (Spurgeon 1996) or when they fail to meet the expectation they have set themselves (Alexander 2005) and even burnout from pushing themselves too hard (Alexander 2005; Bridges 1997). Sometimes people will take the opposite approach and reject Christianity outright because they feel that God and the church have rejected them (Wolter 2005).

There are three major transformations that occur in a Christian's eternal life: justification, by Christ's blood on the cross; sanctification, their Christian life; and glorification, which occurs on the day of Christ's return (Bridges 1997). It is easy for believers to see that the cross was God's grace toward them and that glorification also is completely within God's hands. Sanctification however, people's legalistic nature tells them, is somehow up to them (Bridges 1997). Pride will not allow a person to rely totally on God's grace for their salvation (Sproul 1989). People want to feel that they have somehow atoned for their sins and deserve Heaven, or even a better Heaven than others (Sproul 1989). This is often referred to in terms of expanding their Heavenly mansion; that somehow the extra work they put in on earth will afford them greater heavenly rewards. The idea that Christians no longer need to obey the law is called license (Bridges 1997), even this can lead to legalism because people then think that they can earn extra merit points with the good they do rather than it being an existing requirement. This leads to a selfish attitude of serving expecting to receive extra rewards (Bridges 1997). God will repay infinitely more than any person can supply (Matthew 19:16-22 NIV; Bridges 1997), believers will be rewarded on the day of judgment, not by what they have earned or deserve but as co-heirs with Christ, they will receive His reward (Spurgeon 1996; Bridges 1997; Booth 1976; Yancey 1997).


People's expectations of God's blessing usually relate to what they think they deserve (Bridges 1997). If they do what they consider to be good then they expect to be blessed. If they have failed to do good in their own eyes their expectation of blessing becomes lower. The major problem with this style of thinking is that it is man centered. It considers a person's judgment in relation to a person's opinion of what they have done. God's standard however, requires nothing short of perfection (Comfort n.d). To be less than perfect and ask for what you deserve is to ask for death and Hell. Every person is wretched when compared to Holy God (Newton 1808; Storms 1984). When Christians who feel guilty for their sins expect God to punish them they are effectively implying that Christ's sacrifice was not sufficient to pay all their debt and that they need to pay more in order to feel like they have earned their salvation (Sproul 1986). Christ was perfect and therefore the gift of grace must be accepted in its entirety: full atonement or none at all (Bliss n.d).

One of the best kept secrets among Christians today is this: Jesus paid it all. I mean all. He not only purchased your forgiveness of sins and your ticket to Heaven, He purchased every blessing and every answer to prayer you will ever receive. Every one of them – no exception. (Bridges 1997)


The basic equation of grace is that if a person will admit that in themselves they have no way of ever making... ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/6108997/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/6108997/ Tue, 02 Aug 2005 05:00:02 PDT
I am only relativly new to posting on this site and I don't know what is going on but it seems that is exactly the problem. Nobody knows what is going on. A person who was central in the creation of this site which I now enjoy the use of has been expelled without a word of explanation. This is not the community I thought I was joining.

I do not intend to leave this community. Recient events have shown me the value of the community here and how people love each other and stand up for one another. While the events here do not specificly affect me personally in my imediate future, I want answers for the people who have shown such love. I want their voice to be heard.

If you, like me, are relativly new to this community and are not sure what is going on, please make a point of finding out. Review the situation and respond accordingly. If you apreiciate the freedom to display your artwork on this website and the 5 years of hard work that made it possible. Make it your business to find out who gave it to you and what is happening to them.


°jark's journal is a good place to start. ]]> ~jamindavey http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/6096776/ http://jamindavey.deviantart.com/journal/6096776/ Mon, 01 Aug 2005 03:15:41 PDT
By now, you've heard that Scott Jarkoff, aka °jark, is now a FORMER Staff Member.

I'm not privy to the whys, wherefores, and whatever-the-hells are going on behind the scenes here. Don't ask me anything about that. I know probably just as much as you do.

DeviantArt, in my opinion, is becoming less about COMMUNITY and more about CORPORATION.

So what we need to do is bring back THE COMMUNITY.

Here's my suggestion.

On August 7th, DA turns five years old. Five years for a website like this should be a grand affair, one big event.

So don't submit anything on August 7th.

I'm talking a print, a deviation, a scrap...nothing.

Instead, just leave a comment. Visit a user's page and just say hi.

If someone wants to buy a subscription that day, I'm all in favor or it. It'll keep the servers going, and anything that keeps the hamster running is a good thing.

BUT...I think folks shouldn't buy any prints. No print subscriptions. That goes against the COMMUNITY theme for the day.

We want to put the COMMUNITY back into DA.

If you're in favor of this, if you believe in the power this COMMUNITY has, then join me. Post this in your own journal. Spread the word to everyone, with a and a .

We might be touting at windmills like Don Quixote.

But if enough of us do it, we might be able to remind everyone that this is a COMMUNITY first and foremost.

Join me. On August 7th, let's take back DeviantArt. ]]> ~jamindavey