http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:jesusuicide&section=today deviantART RSS for by:jesusuicide en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 17 Dec 2009 06:31:33 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://jesusuicide.deviantart.com/journal/4415984/ http://jesusuicide.deviantart.com/journal/4415984/ Tue, 25 Jan 2005 22:05:29 PST ~jesusuicide http://jesusuicide.deviantart.com/journal/4269360/ http://jesusuicide.deviantart.com/journal/4269360/ Sat, 08 Jan 2005 12:04:11 PST

Butchering the Human Carcass for Human Consumption

by Bob Arson

This is a step-by-step guide on how to break down the human body from the
full figure into serviceable choice cuts of meat. As in any field, there
are a number of methods to the practice, and you may wish to view this as a
set of suggestions rather than concrete rules. You will notice that the
carving of the larger or "commercial" cuts down into smaller specific or
"retail" cuts will be only mentioned in passing, and not concentrated upon.
Also, the use of human fat and viscera is generally avoided, and left only
to the most experimental chef. These choices, along with recipes and
serving suggestions, are nearly infinite in variety, and we leave them to
you. We've found these guidelines to be simple and functional, but
recognize that there is always room for improvement and we welcome your
suggestions.

Before getting to the main task, it must be mentioned that the complete
rendering of the human carcass requires a fairly large amount of time,
effort, and space. If the consumer does not wish to go through the ordeal
of processing and storing the bulk of the entire animal, an easy
alternative is as follows. Simply saw through one or both legs at the
points directly below the groin and a few inches above the knee. Once
skinned, these portions may then be cut into round steaks of the carver's
preferred thickness, cut into fillets, deboned for a roast, etc. Meat for
several meals is thus readily obtained without the need for gutting and the
complexities of preparing the entire form.

The human being (also referred to throughout culinary history as "long pig"
and "hairless goat" in the case of younger specimens) is not generally
thought of as a staple food source. Observing the anatomy and skeleton, one
can see that the animal is neither built nor bred for its meat, and as such
will not provide nearly as much flesh as a pig or cow (for example, an
average 1000 pound steer breaks down to provide 432 pounds of saleable
beef). The large central pelvis and broad shoulder blades also interfere
with achieving perfect cuts. There are advantages to this however,
especially due to the fact that the typical specimen will weigh between
100-200 pounds, easily manipulated by one person with sufficient leverage.

Here the caution in choosing your meal must be mentioned. It is VERY
IMPORTANT to remember that animals raised for slaughter are kept in tightly
controlled environments with their health and diet carefully maintained.
Humans are not. Thus not only is the meat of each person of varying
quality, but people are also subject to an enormous range of diseases,
infections, chemical imbalances, and poisonous bad habits, all typically
increasing with age. Also as an animal ages, the meat loses its tenderness,
becoming tough and stringy. No farm animal is ever allowed to age for
thirty years. Six to thirteen months old is a more common slaughtering
point. You will obviously want a youthful but mature physically fit human
in apparently good health. A certain amount of fat is desirable as
"marbling" to add a juicy, flavorful quality to the meat. We personally
prefer firm caucasian females in their early twenties. These are "ripe".
But tastes vary, and it is a very large herd.

The butcher will need a fairly roomy space in which to work (an interior
location is suggested), and a large table for a butcher's block. A central
overhead support will need to be chosen or installed ahead of time to hang
the carcass from. Large tubs or barrels for blood and waste trimmings
should be convenient, and a water source close by. Most of the work can be
done with a few simple tools: sharp, clean short and long bladed knives, a
cleaver or hatchet, and a hacksaw.

Body Preparation: Acquiring your subject is up to you. For best results and
health, freshness is imperative. A living human in captivity is optimal,
but not always available. When possible make sure the animal has no food
for 48 hours, but plenty of water. This fasting helps flush the system,
purging stored toxins and bodily wastes, as well as making bleeding and
cleaning easier. Under ideal conditions, the specimen will then be stunned
into insensitivity. Sharp unexpected blows to the head are best,
tranquilizers not being recommended as they may taint the flavor of the
meat. If this is not possible without exciting the... ]]> ~jesusuicide http://jesusuicide.deviantart.com/journal/4268713/ http://jesusuicide.deviantart.com/journal/4268713/ Sat, 08 Jan 2005 10:25:34 PST ]]> ~jesusuicide http://jesusuicide.deviantart.com/journal/4261170/ http://jesusuicide.deviantart.com/journal/4261170/ Fri, 07 Jan 2005 10:31:10 PST ~jesusuicide http://jesusuicide.deviantart.com/journal/1279668/ http://jesusuicide.deviantart.com/journal/1279668/ Wed, 15 Oct 2003 08:44:34 PDT
The sky is blanketed by swollen, gray clouds, Under this leaden bell jar, an hour outside Oslo in the Norwegian Countryside, lie the remains of Holen Church - just the pink granite foundation and several piles of charred pine. Among the fire's ruin, burnt pages from hymnals fly around, chaotic as brown moths. Blacksmith-forged nails lie mingled with the femurs and yiabiae of ministers buried a hundred years ago beneath the church's floorboards. Burned to the ground last May, Holen is the most recent catastrophe in Norway's ongoing national disaster: 22 churches, some dating to medieval times, destroyed by arson over the last four years.

A little white-haired man kneels at his wife's gravestone, one of the many that surround the site where the church once stood. He is weeding the daisies and begonias as he prepares to leave behind some cut roses
in a mayonnaise jar. When I ask who did this , he shakes his head and speaks in heavily accented English. "The Satanists" he says wearily.

To the unsuspecting visitor, Norway is a fairy-tale land of wooden gingerbread houses, lace curtains flapping out of windows, blue glass bottles on the sills. Fir trees line the fjords, and just about everyone is
blonde, high cheek-boned, and cruelly beautiful. Oslo, Norway's capital is overrun with pastel apartment buildings, and gift shops selling troll dolls, replica Viking pendants, and Norwegian reindeer sweaters.

In a stone building downtown, a lone, neatly dressed junkie out front leans into a nod, the only clue that one of hell's many chambers looms six flights above. The band Mayhem used to practice here, in a room
framed by a puke-stained carpet below and swastika flags tacked up overhead. Viking swords and Inverted Crosses hang from the walls Hellhammer, the only surviving member of Mayhem, Norway's
first Black-Metal band, pushes videos of Nosferatu and The Satanic Rites Of Dracula out of the way so he can sink down into a Black Vinyl couch.

Norwegian Black Metal was born in the late '80's, the product of a unholy union between death-metal churn and Viking bloodlust. It melts speed metal's thrashing guitars with an ambient subtext that shows
up in everything from darkly symphonic synth to medieval lute solos. The vocalists tend to sound like the poor little possessed girl in The Exorcist, screeching and gurgling lyrics about evil powers, Satan, the
nighttime woods, trolls, and Norse Gods. Back then, the members of Mayhem lived together in the Devil's House-black, with two lofty towers- in a tiny town called Krakstad. "People there were very
superstitious," Hellhammer recalls, smiling. "When we went into a shop, all the old ladies would run out. In Sunday School they told the children that our house belonged to the devil."

Mayhem didn't do much to dispel that notion. On stage, the lead singer, Dead, wore clothes that he'd buried in the ground until they were rotten and filled with bugs. He was a tall, extremely skinny young man with skin so white it was nearly blue. Even During Rehearsals, Dead wore his "Corpse Paint"- white and black makeup inspired by the plague. When he was performing, Dead inhaled from a plastic bag
holding a decayed raven. "He needed to get the stench of death before every song," Hellhammer explains.

Dead, appropriately enough, was the first to die. In 1991 he committed suicide with a shotgun blast to the head. "It didn't really surprise me," says Hellhammer. "He was a strange guy, always talking about
BCarpathian castles and the Pophyrians and how this life is only a dream." His suicide note read, simply, "Excuse all the blood." Hellhammer and Euronymous, Mayhem's Guitarist, found Dead dead-legs
akimbo, his brain tissue and blood splattered on the walls and sheets. Euronymous didn't seem to mind the mess at all. In fact, says Hellhammer, "he took pieces of the brain and made a stew. He put in ham, frozen vegetables, and paprika. He'd always said he wanted to eat flesh, so he figured this was an easy way."

Hellhammer is dressed in the official Black Metal uniform: boots, jeans, a leather jacket; all black. A Thor's hammer pendant and a pentagram dangle around his neck, but he's more the playful puck than the dark master. He reassures me that he didn't eat any of the wicked stew- "I would have puked." A heartbeat later, he sheepishly admits that he did make a necklace for himself out of skull fragments he found between Dead's bloody sheets.

Black Metal wasn't always so Black.... ]]> ~jesusuicide