http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:kasumihazuki104486&section=today deviantART RSS for by:kasumihazuki104486 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:34:25 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/23465408/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/23465408/ Sun, 01 Mar 2009 08:16:17 PST I couldn't even wait for Ashton to come home from work at 3pm and now thanks to the wonderful abilities of mother nature i doubt him and his little car will make it to my house in the depths of Richmond. What the hell. I really want to see him
And the fact that we are probably not going to school tomorrow, is what my mother says, but knowing Chariho we will have to go and wait 40mins in snow for broken down buses, slip and fall and break our legs on the ice, just to sit in class on a monday and not do a goddamned thing. Oh joy.

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/23445716/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/23445716/ Sat, 28 Feb 2009 06:34:32 PST I guess i have no choice but believe him... but someone did it.
Someone deleted everything that i had, EVERYTHING

they left a message saying "Guess who this is you see me everyday"

i can't believe this is happening to me!
What did i do to deserve this!!??? NOTHING
I'm not a bad person, i dont know any other fights with anyone but Steve
I'm so confused and hurt that someone would destroy everything

Fuck....... fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/23400077/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/23400077/ Wed, 25 Feb 2009 14:19:28 PST
]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/22955866/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/22955866/ Mon, 02 Feb 2009 01:31:22 PST and ive been up since 1:40am
i dont know why but i can't sleep at all
i now feel sick to my stomach

Tomorrow i have my youth and law exam
which is my rape report
and also my speech exam in which i am
G Man from Half Life

i just finished organizing the script
and i did a little more work on my
rape report that i have to presitate to the class
its a report and idk how im going to present it

and my speech by G Man is pretty short
i'm not sure how long the speech is suppose to be
probably like 2 minutes long and mine is only 40secs
oh well i have like a 95 in the class
so it dosent really matter
and im wearing my button down white shirt and
Ashton's bringing in a tie and i need to
bring in a suitcase or something

im going to be so tired tomortow
ive been up all night
and i am suppose to work on the ambulance tomorrow night
but i think the moment i get home i'll pass out
i havent gone in a while and i really needed to
Tom was wondering where i was and i told him
i was deffinetly going to go tomorrow

i'm screwed, this sucks it's 4:30am
i should go try sleeping again
goodnight everyone

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/22837983/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/22837983/ Tue, 27 Jan 2009 06:45:45 PST im pretty sick right now

anyway i havent updated my journal in a while
i have less then 5 mins to write this cause
class is almost over and ive been working
on my rape project that im just about finished

last week i worked my ass off doing
lab reports and powerpoint presintations
and this week is mid terms...
whoopee fucking dooooh....

im not feeling that great and i just had gym
so i just went to the library to work on stuff
which i did and i happy i got work done

ive been pretty much working for the past couple weeks
i have some bad habbits that ive gotten into
but who cares, i dont, things will be fine
...i hope

but yeah me and Ashton have been pretty good
we dont fight all the time anymore which is swell
a couple arguments here and there but hey were only human

im kinda sad because of [censor] and i dont know what to do



bell just rang
gotta go
bye

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/21854430/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/21854430/ Sat, 06 Dec 2008 20:14:20 PST you know what i hate,
when I'm always right.

..anyway..............

I went to the
Mindless Self Indulgence
concert last night
with Ashton and Martha
it was amazing!!

I have the BIGGEST
crush on Jimmy!!! <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?

Should I talk slower like you're a retard
Should I talk slower like you're retarded

Yo they think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb

They think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb

Get it
Get it
Get it
You just dont get it
Get it
Get it
Get it

You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker

You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfuck

Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?
Is it simple enough for you?
Does everybody understand? Are you all still following me?

Should I talk slower like you're a retard?
Should I talk slower like you're retarded?

Yo, they think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb

They think you're dumb
I think you're smart
No, wait, I lied
I think you're dumb

Get it?
Get it?
Get it?
You just dont get it!!!
Get it?
Get it?
Get it?

You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker

You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfuck

It's under your nose
It's under your nose
It's under your nose
It's under your nose

It's over your head
It's over your head
It's over your head
It's over your head

It's out of your reach
It's out of your reach
It's out of your reach
It's out of your reach

You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker

You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfucker
You stupid motherfuck

Nana
Nana
Nana
Nanananana

Nana
Nana
Nana
Nanananana

Nana
Nana
Nana
Nanananana

Nana
Nana
Nana
Nanananana

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/21384409/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/21384409/ Sat, 08 Nov 2008 07:50:22 PST i'm very happy yet i'm very sad

Good News:
i'm very very very VERY happy cause
GEARS OF WAR 2 CAME OUT YESTURDAY
i precorder the collectors eddition
and it is amazing!
it still has the same gameplay as
Gears 1 but it's on crack!
i've been waiting for it for a year
and they seriously did a great job on it!
i'm gonna go play it when
i'm done with this shit

Bad News:
me and Ashton broke up
we were having some troubles
and we were fighting alot
and i was trying to change and be
more sensitive to how he feels
yet he was not trying to help me
i just felt like i was the only one
trying to make things in our
relashonship work but he was not
putting ANY effort in and thats no good

so Gears 2 is amazing and i guess
i'll just use that to distract me
from my broken neglected heart
because i love him but...
things are just hard and i want
to be with him but relashonships take
work no matter how in love you are
people fight and it takes time to work
things out but he just wouldn't support me

i want him back but maybe me
breaking up with him will make him
appreciate me more and make him relieze
that he has to work on things just
as much as i do and yes i admitt
i can be a bit naggy and bossy
but it's my way of showing i care
and i'll work on that for him
but he has to work with me for the things
he does that drive me crazy and be willing
to try to make things work between us

but for now i'm alone
so i'll just have to suck it up
because i dont know if we'll be
together again

maybe he was right all these years
maybe we are better off friends


0.o'


ALRIGHT STOP THE SADNESS
i'm going to have sex with my 360
while i'm playing Horde

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/21279215/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/21279215/ Sun, 02 Nov 2008 08:28:11 PST even though the past couple weeks
have been fucking shit for reasons...
but anyway i had fun, plans were good

originally it was going to be
me, Ashton, AAA, and Stella going
trick or treating but then Devin
couldnt hang out with Steve
cause he was in trouble
so we invited him to come also

so we all get together and then
Devin ended up calling us
apparently he WASNT in trouble so we
swung by his house and picked him up as well

so there was 6 people in a 5 person car
and we were all cramped together
either sitting in the very back lol
or sitting on peoples laps haha

I was a zombie
Ashton was a zombie
AAA was an emo
Stella was a pregnant futuristic warrior lol
Steve was the joker
and Devin was a nurse lol

we all went trick or treating
and we hung out and acted like retards
it was a really fun night
we didn't really do all that much
but it was nice getting everyone together

the end

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/21002218/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/21002218/ Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:50:01 PDT used to hang out at Clayton's
house when he was on house arrest
and we would watch stupid movies
and get drunk and play holy foot lol
Clayton was such a nice guy
he was so funny and i loved
talking to him cause he could make
anything you say funny!

he was driving home after
dropping his girlfriend off
and he feel asleep at the
thats what he told the EMT's there
he banged up his head pretty bad
and when he got to the hospital
his brain was really swelled up
they cut a piece of his skull out
to relieve the pressure
but it didn't do anything...
then a day or two after that
they took him off the morphine
because they wanted to wake him up
and stimulate pain but
i didn't work either
Mike was there when they took
Clayton off life support...

he had just gotten
his license renewed and he
registered as an organ downer
he probably saved
a couple peoples lives...

i'm going to miss Clayton..

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/20920867/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/20920867/ Fri, 10 Oct 2008 12:56:37 PDT alot of favorites and watches
from my recent deviations

i've always loved nude modeling
and i continue with that work
although i've created a new
deviantart screename because
i would like to keep my writing
drawings, and other photgraphy
seprate to my nude modeling

so i will be moving and
re-submitting my deviations
to my new sn which is
Kas104486

so if you would re-comment
and re-favorite my work and
also watch me on my
other screenname it would be
greatly appreciated thank you!

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/20775224/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/20775224/ Wed, 01 Oct 2008 11:21:15 PDT girls gone wild commercials
'FINALLY 18' lol yeah thats gonna
be me in a couple weeks haha

now that i'm 18 i can
express myself in the
best way i know possible
being naked
so now i can put up
my new nude modeling stuff!
YAY! sorry guys
i know you dont want
to see me naked haha

Yay me!



]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/20487608/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/20487608/ Sun, 14 Sep 2008 11:08:59 PDT i've been on trail for
meds all this year
and this one finally works
i'm not moody, angry, sad
i'm me and i feel great

my judgement isn't cloudy
everything is so clear in my life
me and Ashton are doing great
and i know deep down in my heart
he is my soulmate

i know i know i'm young
you've prolly heard this before
but believe me when i say
he is the love of my life
i chased after him for years
as much as i tried not to care i did
for anyother guy i would've just moved on
but he was different

i know i want to spend
the rest of my life with him
and i'm so sure that he is the one
i want to marry him
i want to have kids with him
i want to grow old with him
i love him with all my heart

years from now we'll have a
high school reunion we'll still be together
just you wait and see guys
just wait and see

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/20312307/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/20312307/ Wed, 03 Sep 2008 17:26:14 PDT about the school year
i feel so depressed
i feel like everythings
going to be difficult for me
i'm just so sad and lonely
just being at the school again
is so straining for me
just pissing me off
it's upsetting and unsettling
i cant stand being around everyone
stupid fake smiles
stupid fake jokes
i hate it
i just feel
so neglected

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/20225330/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/20225330/ Fri, 29 Aug 2008 19:55:09 PDT yay i'm happy i have tamboe!

GREEN 1- World History(Mackenzie)
GREEN 2- Physiology(Shehan)
GREEN 3- FrenchI(Maclean)
GREEN 4- Algebra I prt2(Kokofsky)

WHITE 1- English12(Laub)
WHITE 2- English11(Tamboe)
WHITE 3- Advisory(Fair)
WHITE 4- Speech(Laub)

and i'm still gonna
switch green 3 advisory cause i want
my same advisory teacher mr. gibbons
and i want to get out of french
and go into art studio
with steve on white 3's

but we'll see how things go

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/20134232/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/20134232/ Sun, 24 Aug 2008 16:36:05 PDT
How happy my life is:

[x] You have a boyfriend/girlfriend
[x] You have your own room.
[x] You own a cell phone.
[x] You have an ipod/ mp3 player.
[x] Your parents are still married [divorced and my real father hasnt shown his face or any trace of him for almost 5 years now]
[x] You have more than 2 best friends.
[ ] There is a swimming pool in your backyard
T 0 T A L: 6


[x] You dress how you want to.
[x] You hang out with friends more than once a week.
[x] There is a computer/ laptop in your room
[ ] You never cry more than twice a month.
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[x] Your room is big enough for you.
[x] People don't use you for something you have.
[x] You have been to a concert.
T 0 T A L N O W: 13


[x] You have over 50 friends on myspace.
[x] Your parents let you have a myspace.
[ ] You get allowance.
[ ] You collect something normal.
[x] You look foward to going to school.
[ ] You don't wish you were someone else.
[ ] You play a sport.
[x] You do something after school.
T 0 T A L N O W: 17


[ ] You own a car.
[ ] You usually don't fight with your parents.
[ ] You are happy with your appearance.
[ ] You aren't self-consious at all
[ ] You have never got a failing grade in your life.
[x] You have friends.
T 0 T A L N O W: 18

[x] You know what is going on in the world.
[x] You care about so many people.
[x] You are happy with your life.
[ ] You know more than one language.
[x] You have a screen name.
[x] You own a pet.
[x] You know the words to 5 songs.
[ ] You don't have any enemies.
[ ] You are a generally nice person.
T O T A L N O W: 24


Now count your numbers and multiply by three.
Then title this journal "My life is ___% Happy"

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/19983652/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/19983652/ Sat, 16 Aug 2008 07:57:26 PDT i'm bringing him to Maine with me and my family
it's so nice that my family loves and trusts ashton
same goes to his family to me
it really makes things so much easier
we get to see eachother all the time!
i've slept over his house and he's slept over mine
and my family is even letting him come on a family trip!
yep camping it's gonna be big ballin
i'm gonna take ashton out on my four wheeler for the first time
he's never riden on a four wheeler!!! thats so weird!
it's probably cause i grew up riding them lol

me and ashton were fighting alot a week ago
but it's because i had my meds changed
and a bad side effect happened... my hair started to fall out!
it wasn't that bad, i didn't have like bald spots or anything lol
but then i had to clear out my body from that med
so i didn't have any meds in me which everyone knows what happens..
i was a big moody bitch that had a mood swing every 2 secs
but i just started my new med and other than feeling kinda tired
i think it's gonna be good
well i'm gonna go so i don't drag this on



OH WAIT!
i hope everyone had fun at the washington county fair!
i think i want to go one last time
on sunday night maybe cause i love carnivals at night!
well c yah!

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/19308381/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/19308381/ Thu, 10 Jul 2008 10:32:01 PDT i'm sitting alone in my house
not talking to anyone
not doing anything
and i find tear on my face
sometimes i just have to let it out
i watched her movies
and i listened to me and her favorite songs
watching movies with her in it
i watch the same clip over and over again
because a picture dosent move like her
i want to see her
not just an outline of what she looks like
i want her back and i'm not moving on
i'm stuck in this horrible state of being
i cant even except my best friends death
i want to know what she looks like
i look at pictures i took of her head stone
i look at pictures of dead bodies on the internet
it's sick i know
i have to except the fact that shes gone
i'm just so fucked up i cant do it
i need her i'm sitting here half naked in my kitchen
on my laptop curled up in a ball at my table
typing this usless journal
i'm sorry i'm just wasting time

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18997973/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18997973/ Mon, 23 Jun 2008 09:11:26 PDT going to maine and i'll be back
before 4th of july so yuppp
it's gonna be the last big family trip
cause everyones growing up
when i was a kid we always went on trips
to new hampshire, vermont, and maine
and this is gonna be the last
where were all together cause were all grown up
my sisters 21 and doing her own thing
my cousin freddy is goin to college
and i'll prolly gonna be gone
doin my own thing after i get out of high school
so as much as i might think its a little lame
to be stuck with my family for
like a week in a half
i'm gonna make the best of it
were going four wheeling then camping in tents
for the whole week then
WHITE WATER RAFTING!!!!!!!!
yes i love it
were going down dead river!
the hardest river in all of maine!
it's gonna be bigg ballin!

oh and ps
me and ashton have been with eachother
ALL THE TIME
i even slept over his house
its was fun waking up to him lol
everythings going great with us
a couple petty fights here and there
but thats what being human is all about
i love ashton and he loves me
and things are perfect

alright sorry for making this long
i'm just so excited!!!!!!!!!!

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18868437/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18868437/ Mon, 16 Jun 2008 07:53:01 PDT yes i'm taking the chance and i'm happy about it
i have faith in him and things are gonna work out
we love eachother and we are trust eachother
or love is what people want in a relasonship!
we've been best friends and this is the next step
were going to do great, see eachother almost everyday
hes been driving around like a madman to see me
it's so cute! Ashton i love you!

p.s. we went and saw The Happening yesturday
its a wikid good movie we loved it
you might wanna go see it
<3

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18685599/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18685599/ Thu, 05 Jun 2008 18:48:24 PDT the things between me and ashton
please dont be mad at me
its just hard for me
i love ashton i really do
him and liz were my two bestest friends
and hes the one who i go to
hes the one that i confide in
hes the one that i worry about
its just all of a sudden out of the blue
hes in love with me and its intimidating
cause it happened so fast
after me adapting myself to always
think of him as just a friend
i had to tell myself over and over again
"Brittany, he'll never love you like you love him."
and now my emotions are receeding inside myself
wow that was imbarrasing >.< receeding hairline lol
anyway ashton you are amazing
we have chemistry
we have friendship
we have trust
we have connections
we have attraction
we have love

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18601257/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18601257/ Sat, 31 May 2008 22:17:00 PDT STEVE YOU MISSED OUT!

went to school until 12:30pm
me and ashton got picked up
me and him hung out at my house
got ready and took pics with dev and mag
went to prom and had a great time
then we went to devin's house
for an after party and relaxed
and then we parted

i had so much fun
ashton was the best date!
i loved the buns
and the butter balls!!!!!

its 1:30am and i'm not tired
cause i slept all day
but i'm watching tv

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18513030/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18513030/ Mon, 26 May 2008 15:06:29 PDT i love being with all my friends
but the weekend was pretty crappy
all my plans were screwed up
and ive just been in a really bad mood
got fucked up pretty much
drunk and high trying to haze away everything
really dont want to go to school tomorrow
i just need another 15 rack
i just want to die
but i never get what i want
whatever
nothing
fucking
matters

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18332092/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18332092/ Thu, 15 May 2008 06:50:11 PDT my friends are volenteering to help
get together the scotish fair and i
thought i'd put up a bullitin to see
if anyone wanted to go

it's this saturday from 9am - 5pm
it's where a bunch of scotish clans
and old guys from the army come and
we get back in touch with our heritage!

theres games and see who
can throw a rock farther
lol and different scotish foods
yes like haggis!
everyones walking around in kilts

its at the fair grounds
which is right where the
washington county fair is
it's 15 dollars to get in

i've never been there and
i've always wanted to go so
comment me if your planning
on going or something!

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18308096/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18308096/ Tue, 13 May 2008 16:05:20 PDT

*Kiss her in front of your friends.


*Trust her over everyone else.


*Tell her she looks beautiful.


*Look her in the eye when you talk to her.


*Tell her stupid jokes to make her laugh.


*Let her mess with your hair.


*Mess with HER hair.


*Just walk around with her.


*Include her in most things you do.


*When she crys do whatever to make her smile.


*Forgive her for her mistakes.


*Look at her like she's the only girl you see.


*Tickle her even if she says stop.


*Hold her hand even when you are around your friends.


*When she starts swearing at you tell her you love her.


*Let her fall asleep in your arms.


*Get her mad, then kiss her.


*Tease her and let her tease you back.


*Stay up with her all night when she's sick.


*Watch her favorite movie.


*Kiss her forehead.


*Give her the world.


*Write her notes and letters


*Let her wear your clothes.


*When she's sad, hang out with her.


*Let her know she is important.


*Let her take all the photos of you she wants.


*Kiss her in the rain.


*And when you fall in love with her, tell her.


*And when you do tell her.. Love her like no other person

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18176225/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/18176225/ Mon, 05 May 2008 06:44:29 PDT i hung out with the guys on friday
Chris Emery, Chris Face, and Shawn Gooding
we played GTA4 for hours and then they all
wanted to go out and see the new movie
Iron man and i saw the previews and i didn't
think it looked to good but i tagged along anyhow
but it was actully a really good movie
even though it's based on a comic
i didn't know it was till after the movie lol

Then i slept over Claudia's house and we
played the Wii alot and fooled around acting dumb
and watched Old Greg alot lol (OLD GREGS GOT A MANGINA)
but yeah and then i was sopose to hang out with Chris on
sunday but the routter on his car broke
so his brakes wouldn't work... boooo
but he's getting them fixxed today

i'm really happy that sami got texting back
because i love texting cute girls
and i got a new pair of trip pants and i love them cause
i've never had a pair before; they are very comfy
who wants to tie me down first?

me and ashton are going as prom dates
because we are awesomely amazing best friends lol
and we were going to go in a limo with
me, ashton, deven, maggie, steve, and amanda
but steve dosen't beileve in prom
(god only knows why???)
so either we don't get a limo or we find another couple
who wants to pitch in for a limo with us???

okay well i'll stop talking now...



YES SIR, THANK YOU SIR

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/17751886/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/17751886/ Tue, 08 Apr 2008 17:18:21 PDT it's no sweat though guys i swollowed it
hahaha i'm really feeling like shit
mentally and phyiscally
okay physically
i have a cold
i have allergies
i have my period
and my foot is still killing me
i went to the doctor today and he said it's
spreading and getting worse; whoopy fuckin doo

mentally i'm stressed out and overwhelmed
i had to finish my english reserch paper last week
then she gave us a narrative account assignment
on how to write a research paper which i did
now i have to write a pesuasive essay on same sex marraiges
AND this thurseday my us history research paper is due
and tomorrow and friday i have clincals all day
ANNND when i come home i stay home for a half-an-hour
then go out and voulenteer at the hope valley ambulance
so i wont have anytime to do my work cause i get home at night
and plus i'm sick and i feel like shit and i have
so much stuff going on

and i like claudia
she likes me
i don't think i can go out with her
cause shes with my best friend
and theres this cute freshman
but i don't know him that well
and i'm pretty sure that ashton likes me
but i don't know how that would go
(i hope he wont read this >.<
oh this is kinda long
he wouldn't take the time to read it
i'm just complaining cause i'm stressed
sorry guys!
<3333333333333333


IS IT APRIL VACATION YET!!!???

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/17608888/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/17608888/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 15:41:14 PDT so far i've been much more depressed and angry
i'm not saying it's the drugs or achohol
it's me, i think i'm tired of holing myself up so high
that fucking smile i have at the lunch table or in class
i'm sick of it i can't even bair to talk to ashton about it
i might be getting back together with conrad
which will most likley start up that vicious cycle
of fights all over again leaving me to a shell
of a person i called myself last year
it's better than being alone
i fucking hate this
complaining and crying
don't feel bad for me
i'm always telling people
"Its not my fault! It's not my fault!"
what if it is my fault?
maybe i'm to blam
for what?
MY OWN FUCKING SADNESS
I FUCKING HATE BEING LIKE THIS
you think i'm weak or blamming my problems on other things?
I WANT TO CONTROL HOW I FEEL
I WANT TO CONTROL MY LIFE
I CAN'T FEEL HOW I WANT TO FEEL
I'M BEING PLAYED WITH BY MY OWN EMOTIONS
MY BRIAN IS A PUPPETMASTER
AND I'M BEING FUCKED OVER BY MYSELF

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/17422129/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/17422129/ Thu, 20 Mar 2008 07:31:37 PDT it's on the American Dream and i'm doing it
about The Jungle, it's kinda hard though
i've been looking for quotes and i did my
introduction last class but i used my whole
advisory to find 2 quotes and do the second paragraph
...well it is kinda a page in a half long
but i just want to get it done good
i dunno it sounds like i'm summarizing the book
i don't really know how much i should talk about
the American Dream; the rough draft is due monday!
OMG! god WHY!!!???
steve i'm calling you this weekend
so you can help me
anyway
props to people who actully
read this journal
it is rather dull and boring
so.....

BABIES TAKING NAPS ON CLIFFS
lol i dunno okay maybe
PELICANS JUMMPING ON TRAMPOLINES
ah that ones better

wow... need to go to lunch
byeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/17275484/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/17275484/ Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:26:42 PDT and it really sucks
i have fluid in my
right lung and it's really
hard for me to breathe
no wonder i've been so sick
well i'm out of school
for two more days so
wish me to get well
thanks for caring

~Britt Britt

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/17213794/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/17213794/ Thu, 06 Mar 2008 17:26:27 PST i'm wayyyy sick
i didn't come to school today
and mrs. pagel isn't letting me go
on the feild trip tomorrw cause
theres to many people
so i would just go to first block tomorrow
anyway but i'm really REALLY weak and
i'm not going to bother going tomorrow
MY HEAD IS ON FIIIYAHHHHH!
i hope everyone else had a good day
today and tomorrow
i love all of you!
uhhh wish me good health!
i wanna feel better!

p.s. my dad shot a mouse in my
bathroom and i was the clean up crew!
it was a gut shot so i felt bad
and blood was squirting all on the floor
lol

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/17079212/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/17079212/ Tue, 26 Feb 2008 18:57:36 PST nothings going to break us up
it took you long enough!
3years!? your so lucky i waited

i told you we were perfect for eachother
and now you see and now were both happy
i love you so much; my little sex slave hehe
i just had to wait for you to mature
hahahahaha

~Britt

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16926880/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16926880/ Sun, 17 Feb 2008 09:41:01 PST the party is almost here!
yeah i know can't wait!

anyway i need to know
for sure...
if your going
and the times your staying
(cause some can't stay the whole time)

so comment this and tell me
what times your coming and staying till
and who your getting the rides from
cause if your driving your own car
i need to know

so yeah
DO IT!
i love you all

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16869064/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16869064/ Wed, 13 Feb 2008 18:21:07 PST my parents said yes to my party idea!
i'm so happy!
i havent had a party since middle school

it's a 6 hour SaW marathon
wating 1, 2, 3 and 4 all in a row
and then 2 hours left over
for rockband and ping pong lol

sorry there is a limit to people
this is the invite list:
>Ashton
>Steve
>Devin
>Sami
>Kate
>Clauda
>Natai
>AAA

so here are the details:

Date: Next Friday; Feb 22, 2008
Time: 2pm-10pm
Place: 79 Hoxie Road
Richmond, RI, 02892
House Phone: 539-8440

need to know by wednesday 20th
if your coming or not

oh and if anyone can bring
chips, candy, soda, or cookie dough
it'd be greatl apreciated

i can't wait to see every one there

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16774685/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16774685/ Thu, 07 Feb 2008 18:14:56 PST
i just bought the Nights of the Nine
yeah i'm excited
i didn't actully no how to start the quest

until Ashton looked it up
on the world wide web
i just have to ask about rumors
ya i get enough f thosu in real life
lol

but yeah he told me that in the middle
of me rampaging threw the
Imperial City killing hundrads!

lol all the guards i killed
i was going into houses/stores
wrecking them
throwing things everywhere
killing everyone and taking their money

haha my bounty is so high
god i'm in love with oblivion
almost as much as me being in love with
Gordon Freeman... almost...

lol so yeah i'm feeling a bit better
i've been feeling a bt shitty lately
but talking to ashton on he phone
rampaging threw Oblivion
and eatting sugar cookies helped

so yeah shout outs:
yes steve we need to hang out
no ahston i won't have sex with you
sami your hair is cute/ we are fake fire crotchs
natai i know the pats lost don't rub it in!
devin ... you have a small penis(yah i said it)
and HI MOM!!!!!!!!!!

peacelove

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16645482/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16645482/ Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:53:04 PST like L-O-V-E SaW!
i have the whole SaW series on DVD

i was wandering...
i think i wanted to have
SaW party at my house

watch the whole SaW collection
I-IV in a row
i thought it would be an awesome idea
just wandering who would come

comment this if you wanted to come
just so i can see how many people would

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16580668/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16580668/ Sat, 26 Jan 2008 11:58:16 PST thank god it wasn't a nasty break up
we both kinda knew it's better as friends
at least i won't be chasing after him anymore
once you have ashton; you wish you hadn't..
HAHAHAH! just kidding ashton!
wow yeah so i think this has made us
reilze how much we are friends
like he said it was a good experiance
:hearts:'s for ashton forever

about to watch Fruits Basket episodes!
i love having the whole collection
oh and maybe i'll watch some Burst Angel too
or actully Tenchi Muyo
yeah i have all 4 CD's for them lol
so yeah i hope everyone has a nice day
or night whenever you read this
peace&love

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16445986/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16445986/ Thu, 17 Jan 2008 13:39:47 PST i've been really depressed lately
things going on in my new relashonship
things going on with the old one >.>

i dream about liz every night
i yelled at andrew in my english class
because he was sitting in her desk
i want her back
i will say it forever
until she is back
i'm breaking under the pressure
every memory is so great and blissful
yet everywhere i look theres another memory
haunting me...
tempting me...
teasing me...
because i want her back so bad
physically i am drained
i can't take this enormous amount of pain
because before i'd have her to talk to
she would hold me
i'm come to cry on her
she wouldn't bother me with questions
"whats wrong!? whats wrong!? tell me what happened!?"
NO she would hold me
and stroke my hair and hust me from crying
and thats all i would need...
...thats all i need now

mainly all i think about is her
i need liz
physically no one knows how i feel
no matter what one says
no
you don't know
you don't have all same little memories with liz
you don't have all the nicknames, games, and songs we sang
you can't sit there and hold me like her
i can't cryon anyones shoulder like hers
she was mine
and now
i can't find her

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16355469/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16355469/ Fri, 11 Jan 2008 09:56:42 PST i'm doing that book for my research paper

yeah so i'm kinda stressed
not about school
not about ashton
(surprisingly things are really going good lol)

but... it's rob
i mean he's been calling me and when i talked to him once (after like a week)
he was yelling at me calling me names and being a dick

and i was talking to his mom about it cause i'm close with her and she was telling me how much rob loves me and i just sat there rolling my eyes (yeah i know mean but i'm just sick of it)

i told him i was moving on and then his mom said that she was going to pick me up from school so i could talk to rob face to face so we can get all this crap sorted out

cause we all know everyone hates drama

but then he called me in health occupations and i talked to him in the bathroom

he was all pissy again talking with sas and he said that his mom wasn't gonna give me any rides cause they found out i was going out with ashton.

and you know what last night i didn't want to tell her cause one it was known of her buisness and two i knew she'd tell rob and i wanted to tell him myself

but he says he's walking over to school just to talk but i have to catch my bus cause it's friday and if i talk to him i'll prolly miss my bus. and plus i want to say goodbye to ashton and kiss him because i won't see him over the weekend. and i can't with rob there or he'll flip.

well i am in health occupations and it's a sub so he let me come to the library so i could get The Jungle and ashton's in advisory and i'm in the library looking for my book and i see walk in. kinda funny. but i might go cause i don't want to disturb him cause he's putting stuff in his porfolio. maybe he'll show me how.

alright bye.

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16327945/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16327945/ Wed, 09 Jan 2008 10:25:40 PST why does everytime i get close to someone
they are wrong, i'm always right
i told him he didn't love me
now he knows
and i am right
no person will be able to love me
and stand by me
this i have excepted
yet also feel defeated by...

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16076288/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16076288/ Mon, 24 Dec 2007 11:53:38 PST
i'm sooooooo happy
everyone knows that i had my wonderful laptop
and then the screen broke...

well!

my parents let us open up one of our presents on christmas eve
and they fixed my laptop!!!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

i'm so happy

now i'll be on myspace, deviantart,
and aim alot more now

i'm sooooo happy!

i hope everyone else has a great christmas
...or whatever the hell you celebrate

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16059530/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16059530/ Sun, 23 Dec 2007 13:41:39 PST things between us just feel so strange
because of what he did a couple nights ago
and me and my doubts about our relashonship
i'm just not sure about what i want right now
but i'm out of a relashonship
so maybe that will lift some stress off my shoulders
so i can figure things out for myself

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16010079/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16010079/ Thu, 20 Dec 2007 05:34:42 PST i don't look for trouble
give me one reason why i would
all i've been doing has been trying to make myself happy
that dosen't mean i'm self-centered
how could you say that
i don't give anyone a reason to hate me
i don't make drama i'm trying to flea from it
fine then i won't come to any of your for help
because it seems to frustrate the hell out of everyone
i was pissed last night because of shit going on at my house
and then shit with these people
and it really made me feel better to talk to ashton
but then when i read your comments
you know i wasn't trying to offend anyone with what i said
i was ANGRY!
and you know what it's not a game i'm playing
this is my journal
this is how i vent
yeah you can read it cause i'm open with my feelings
but you know you don't have to comment to it



(oh and vitamin water with donuts does not taste good)

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16005326/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/16005326/ Wed, 19 Dec 2007 18:53:12 PST i can't deal with this up and down shit of my bi-polar disorder
it's really bad
i can't handle it anymore
i just want to trip on a sidewalk and fall in the street and have a car run my head over flat
so my friends won't be mad at me for comitting suiside
FUCK!
gnbuioj;,;
nf's
hfdl
oikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
i hate everything around me
i just want to scream and snap my own neck to stop
my life is not ever going to change and no amount of therapy or medications will change me
i'm fucked up and screwed up and i'm sick of dealing with crap
and now i know a bunch of friends like sami or ashton and whatever are gonna comment this and tell me to stop thinking about suiside!
WELL LOOK AT YOUR PAST JOURNALS
no i'm not mad at you i'm just fustrated cause no matter how many people will tell me to stop thinking of suiside
and no matter how many people tell me to promise them not to
NO!

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15817247/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15817247/ Thu, 06 Dec 2007 06:22:12 PST (as people might have noticed in the library)
but thats it!
i think...? lol
He's just being REALLY nice
and he has these moments were he just stares at me
i dunno
we are gonna hang out and play Rock Band
but yeah thats it!
i mean i think he's sorta flirting with me and it's really weird
because i have NO interest in going out with him again
it just feels strange
like how we were remembering all the good times
and it's like all the bad memories are compeletly gone
i guess time does heal everything
but the good stuff is left
so what happens if he still likes me...(or loves!?)
what if i start to like him again
i'm happy with Rob
well i'll figure things out
but in the mean time i'm gonna have fun being friends with Conrad

.......oh and by the way
i just bought a car last night... lol
SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! !

BrittBritt

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15731051/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15731051/ Fri, 30 Nov 2007 06:24:27 PST i just went there yesturday!
but yeah i'm not really living with my parents
i'm practally living with my boyfriend Rob now
he lives right on the line of ashaway and westery
so i am hanging out with a lot of my friends in ashaway
but i keep going to crandle feild...
but it's not the same without Liz...
i'm on a lot of meds
i have a councler to talk to
and another doctor that talks to me and figures out what meds i should be on
i know that you guys are thinking i'm on like anti-deppresants
and some of my friends are against them
i'm on anxeity pills, seizur pills, and anti-phycotics
hahaha
yeah...
thought i'd update my journal
i want to talk to some of my friends
but i always forget to call
so call me sometime; not at my house
but on my cell (473-8282)
leave me a message
talk to me
SOMETHING!
lol

thank you for reading this
now i know you care

~Britt Britt

ps... i have the hick-ups and it's hurting my chest >.
]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15585492/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15585492/ Tue, 20 Nov 2007 05:08:26 PST i keep dreaming about liz
and I WANT HER BACK!
it's not fair!!!!!!!!!!!!

....

sorry...



anyway i have a new boyfriend, named Rob

me and him had little crushes on each other but now we've finally made it official

i'm really happy and some of my friends don't approve of him, but they don't know him so they can go screw

i'm so mixxed up

i want my lizzie-o

i found a bunch of pictures from the 8th grade DC trip... i cryed when i found them

i also was saying how i was gonna drop out, well i've decided that i'm going to finish my Jr. year

but senior year i'm not positive about

well yeah i love everyone...


]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15401971/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15401971/ Wed, 07 Nov 2007 06:32:45 PST
i know some of you don't have a myspace

and i have alot of pictures of Liz and Jay and friends on mine

so i thought i'd put a link to my myspace so you guys could go to my pictures and look at them

Brittany's Myspace = [link]

there are different albums, oviously go to the Liz&Jay one

but feel free to look at anyother of my albums and pictures

thanks guys



~Abigale

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15312211/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15312211/ Thu, 01 Nov 2007 06:26:17 PDT
i need her, i need her

she's been my best friends for so long i can't see my life without her

the morning she died she held me in her arms, we laughed and talked about old times and we both were telling eachother how much we missed hanging out

i just can't beileve that now shes gone

forever? no it can't be. i won't except it. it's not right

maybe they made a mistake? maybe it was someone else

hearing what she looked like when she died

she smashed her head into the tree and half of her face was caved in

her face splattered.... laying in a giant puddle of blood

thats what it was like their parents told me

i want to see for myself

i'm already fucked up enough

i can't pull through

and if any of you fuckers think i'm looking for attention by writing this... FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!

MY BEST FRIEND FOR YEARS DIED AND SHE'S NEVER GOING TO HOLD MY HAND AND CALLING ME ABILGALE.... she always got our names mixxed up.. it was cute

i miss her

i want my Rizu

i want my Tabitha

i want my Lizzie-O

i want elizabeth greenhalgh to be alive....

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15240898/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15240898/ Sat, 27 Oct 2007 09:14:26 PDT
and i'm sooooooooooo excited and happy!

i haven't had a sleepover with anyone since 8th grade!

and i'm so happy!! you guys don't even know

i never hang out with any of my friends

and i'm glad that it's Sami, shes such a sweet girl and i've know her since 6th grade

and i really plan on fixxing up my realshonships with sami and lauren

because they were my best friends way back

and i really want them back as my bestestsss!

<3333 love you guys!

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15198247/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15198247/ Wed, 24 Oct 2007 06:53:56 PDT
i just thought i'd type it up and tell everyone so i don't have to say it a million times

~
i found out that Conrad ran from the cops at 1 in the mourning and hide in his house with Mandy and had sex with her...

then his dad found them and he got in mega trouble

and i was really worried about Conrad because it's not like him to be like this

so i talked to him and he was acting (even more than usalle) an egotistical bitch!

saying "oh i'm trying to get all these girls to stop liking me" and "i'm a bad kid now and if i'm destroying myself than destruction is great"

and he was calling his girlfriend a cock whore

and he lied to me saying that Jess begged for him back when she actully didn't...

SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was devasted by what he was doing and he might be getting into drugs from his little middle school girlfriend

so i thought i'd stop this and i called his mom and told her everything because as a parent she needs to know that her son is going downhill

she thanked me and she asked me how i was doing and crap

but THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i talked to Shelby this morning in geomtry and she talked to Mandy(conrads gf)'s sister

and her sister was horrified by how she was acting, cause Mandy was having sex with all these people and doing drugs

so her sister is going to tell Mandy's mom so she can get HER life back on tract

and last but not least the lovely things Conrad said to me...

"Oh well i'm a sex-lover just like you so you shouldn't be talking"
and i said
"Yeah well i have enough dignity for myself that i don't have sex with a middle schooler 2 weeks after meeting them"

so yeah thats what i've been dealing with

i'm dealing with it rather good

i'm perfectly fine i just want Conrad to snap out of himself, stop gawking in a mirror and get his life back on tract

RANT OVER!

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15185757/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15185757/ Tue, 23 Oct 2007 10:04:26 PDT 1) I have a stomach flue
2) I have a mega geomtry project due tomorrow
3) I hate white days with a passion

yeah so........yeah lol

i hope i don't miss anything cool at school

which i doubt i will... cause it's boring and nothing goes on

but yeah i woke up at 9 and worked on my project till 10 and then played deadrising until 11 and then worked on my project again till 12:30...

so yeah i've got alot done [i'm proud of myself ^.^]

but yeah anyway i was kinda bummed cause me and Ashton got into a fight; about something really stupid

but then we were cool

and then in health class he was saying all this stuff that i said to him once and he told me not to pay attention to the suisidal thoughts and blah blah blah

and then i got a little ticked cause he's a smart kid, he just has to loosen up and take his own advise

i'm not mad at him i'm just fustrated of saying the same thing to him

i hope you read this Ashton cause i just wanted you to know this

i didn't want you to think that i wasn't your friend anymore when i told you not to talk to me in health

i was just fustrated and thats how i handle things

but yeah anyway i'm done ranting...

OH WAIT ONE MORE THING!

Kurt's letting me borrow Bioshock!

I'M SOOOOO SOUPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

britt britt

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15126993/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15126993/ Fri, 19 Oct 2007 09:59:41 PDT i was doing great when i came back from the hospital
but i guess all the stress caught up to me...
with school... that boy... teh rejection...
i'm not doin so hot
i don't want anyone to freak...
but my suisidal thoughts are coming back
and i feel stupid cause it's like i didn't learn my lessons the first time...
and the crap with conrad... i mean of cource i still have feelings for him i went out with him for a year, thats a huge chunk of my life i spent with him.
and now feelings are awquard, confusing, strange.
i'm not sure what to do about things going on around me.
i really miss hanging and talking to my girlfriends
like sami, kate, liz, and hopefully i'm getting together with lauren soon.
anyway i'll stop complaining.

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15086991/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15086991/ Tue, 16 Oct 2007 12:26:16 PDT
WE BROKE UP ALREADY?

lol... well it was a nice day i guess

i really liked him but i guess it was ment to be friends because...

well i'm a very open lovy-dovy kinda person

and he's got mucho barriers so i broke up with him

but he's still my forever scissor partner

and i love my stevey-wevey

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15002856/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/15002856/ Wed, 10 Oct 2007 15:46:52 PDT
Back from the Hospital

Did you miss Me???!!!

Well i missed you guys and the first day back was better than i thought i'd be

lol

you never notice how many friends you have unless something really bad happens lol

i got 1000000000000000000000000 hugs! [even though my spleen expoled lol]

lol i'm soooooooo happy

i'm so happy to see everyone! Okay to everyone!

ALL MY FRIENDS READ THIS!
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEH~!

// : // // // // // ...............<3333333333333333

I LOVE ALL OF YOU AND THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE FOR ME!!!
THANK YOU FOR LISTENING WHEN NO ONE ELSE CARED
THANK YOU FOR TREATING ME WITH RESPECT AND LOVE EVEN WHEN I WAS ANNOYING
THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH MY WHINING ABOUT YUCKY CONRAD
THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME WHAT WAS WRONG WHEN I WAS SAD AND ACTULLY LISTENED TO WHAT I SAID
THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING MY FEELINGS WHEN EVERYONE ELSE JUST SAD IT WAS NORMAL
THANK YOU FOR REILIZING I NEED YOU GUYS
BECAUSE IF I HAD DIED LIKE I WANTED TO... I WOULDN'T HAVE SEEN HOW MUCH YOU GUYS ACTULLY DO CARE!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

~Brittany Ann Bevans

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/14775583/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/14775583/ Mon, 24 Sep 2007 16:42:05 PDT
i mean not great, not bad i'm better! which is good! lol

yeah so over the summer i worked alot so i never drew anything but lately i've been drawing alot and i'm finally going to put up some'or anime deviations!

i know other people... like ashton

don't look at my deviations

which makes me sad

but i hope everyone likes my new anime deviations

YUPPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Brittany

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/14686605/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/14686605/ Tue, 18 Sep 2007 11:52:18 PDT
he's telling me how he thinks about suiside and i think about it too

i have to go to the doctors alot lately; their upping my dose of fluxeitine to 20mlg now.

i cut myself/ as much as that might anger my friends

i don't eat

i don't sleep

but it seems like everyone around me is alos depressed...

like it's the new fab or life is just sucky no matter how you look at it...

it sucks knowing that your 1 in a trillion because... i don't know why but i just makes me sad knowing that i'm not being me...

that i'm just like everyone else

but i can't change and be back to being happy brittany... until i get my life on track.

All i do is go to school, work late, eat a little, sleep a little, and then do it all over again.

i hate being at home because of family problems.

i just have no place to be no person to really trust

i'm lonely....

because i know i'm trying to help ashton and other people who are depressed but if i even bring up anything about me and my problems .... it'll be seen as selfish

why does no one ask?

why does no one call me?

why does no one worry about me?

the only person that worries about me is me...

and THAT worries me....

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/14593401/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/14593401/ Tue, 11 Sep 2007 17:28:32 PDT
everyones telling me to get back together with him and crap

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

And just like last time he runs to Jess; fuckin men...

i really am just sick of getting into fights with Conrad and then getting mad so i dumped him

But not being with him and the things he's doing is pissing me off beyond belief!

I just can't even look at him , i don't want to be near him or even see him

He's following me around calling me

i can't stop thinking about him cause he's always there!

CONNNNNNRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDD DDDDDD!!!!!!!!! XC

it's hard for me to admit but i do still love him

i'll always love him

but the fighting and drama in the relashonship...

Are all relashonships this up and down?

Will the drama end after a while

thats what i thought and it's been a year i've been with him and things are getting worse!

i just don't know

the confusion meter is to the MAX!

he's like ... Grr i dunno! ARGHH! <--- pirate lol

Well i need advice and FAST!!!!!!!!

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/14421400/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/14421400/ Fri, 31 Aug 2007 06:35:02 PDT

The rules are:
1-post these rules
2-each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves
3-tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts
4-at the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named
5-go to their page and leave a comment telling them they’ve been ‘tagged’

1) I'm in love with myspace/ as much as i hate to admitt it >.<
2) I work at wendy's WAY to much
3) I didn't meorize my powerschool password yet
4) i can right a hella good essay
5) I'd rather swim in a lake rather than the ocean
6) I have wet dreams on a regular basis
7) i'm kinda bad at taking blood pressure
8) i'm a very easy-going gal who IS NOT CONCIDED! lol



]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/14325778/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/14325778/ Fri, 24 Aug 2007 21:16:42 PDT Hey Baby;your sleeping right now. i can only imagine how sweet you look asleep snuggled in your bed. dreaming... it's almost midnight. i couldn't stop thinking about you. You mean so much to me. Really you do. i feel so happy knowing that you'll always be with me and that you love me with the same pure love i love you back. i hope you don't laugh at how sappy this is... i'm serious. i don't open up to people very easly... and its time i finally let you in and tell you how much you really do mean to me. your my world.

your so important... and i screw up sumtimes but i will still always love you. The intensity of how much i do care about you scares me. scares me becuase i know if i lost you i'd die. feeling that vunarable is scary/ but at the same time it's like an adrenaline rush knowing how important you are and having the very things you say toggle my emotions so quickly it's appolling. one side i'm scared as hell to open up/ but at the same time im just despritly wanting you to understand me as a person. and as your true love.

i'm literally in tears typing this in my bed on my laptop wishing, just like every other night, that you are next to me. and rolling over with you not there strains my heart and i just sink in under my blankets and wait till i fall alseep. Every mourning... i wish your there... every night i wish your there. and i literally sigh in disapointment without you.

Baby.. i know you don't cheat on me... i know you would never hurt me like that or in any other way. i know you try so hard to make me happy. you try so hard. i'm so proud of you. Thank you. you are such a strong person. i wish i was like you. you have so much strength and determination in what you want. and it's nice knowing thats me . i know i screw up alot. i'm not always the person you want to turn to about your problems// i don't really take good direction haha but i still love you and i still try.

i know you don't check ur e-mail much// i know this is getting long. but understand i've got so much to say... 11 months of holding back and im not holding in anything anymore.. if i do ill burst. i love you. i truly love you with all my heart and i feel so weak right now telling you how my i do love you but at the same time i feel inpowered thinking of how much i hope im making you feel great. i want you to be proud of me. i want you to brag about how great of a person i am to your parents.

i love you

i'm going to marry you and bare your children. i'm going to be a faithful loving wife, a dedicated parent and your soul mate for the rest of my life.

now if this message brings you close to tears... then you really do understand and trust my words that im writing to you. I know i'm a bullshitter some times... but i don't think that there has ever been enough bulls on the face of this earth to produce the enough shit to even cover up and 88th of my love for you. yes thats a lotta shit. hehehe )

Baby i've got poop on my face, but there is no one that can make it as warm and musshy as you do <3

You are my second half that completes what person i am sopose to be as i die, a full soul... and you make me that. i can feel they way you love me and i feel the same about you. i can see in your eyes how comfortable you are with me... how much we trust eachother// we may not show it but we're so comfortable with eachother we are perfect. your perfect. you are desperate for my love// as i am desperate for yours. i'm not good at math. i'm a bad speller. i'm a controll freak and i'm a flirt sometimes. but i love you truly and i am always going to be here for you as a friend, a girlfriend, fiance', wife, and soulmate to help you with whatever you need. So help me with something. Because i need something too.


I Need You in My Life Forever.

so do you think you can help me out with that?

i'm going to go dream about you now.

sweet dreams...

i love you.
talk to you in the mourning baby....

~Brittany Ann Vickers

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486 http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/14240183/ http://kasumihazuki104486.deviantart.com/journal/14240183/ Sun, 19 Aug 2007 12:25:28 PDT
to much happiness.....

..........*twitch*

I GOT A NEW LAPTOP!!!!!!

i've been saving up so much money all summer for it...

and im sooooooooo happy

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<3333333333333333333333333333333333333333 333333333333333333333

]]> ~kasumihazuki104486