http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:kelsiidawnn&section=today deviantART RSS for by:kelsiidawnn en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:35:21 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15654087/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15654087/ Sat, 24 Nov 2007 18:13:34 PST
why is it that everytime i go anywhere in this town you're there. i run into you, or you find me.... or whatever. why is it that we always get along great? but there's no connections? i just don't understand. i've stopped trying to figure it out.

i know i've screwed up a lot in the last couple weeks, and i know i need to smarten up. i've lost a few friends, but gained several more... i smoked, drank and did other random events that i know are wrong, and not right... yet i still did them. why is that? was i just trying to get your attention? no, obviously not, all it did was drive you away.

i'm not tryin to push you away, i'm just trying to fix what used to be.

help me please.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15620389/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15620389/ Thu, 22 Nov 2007 11:57:29 PST
ever feel like you have everything you want in your life, and yet you feel as if that one thing is missing?

i feel like that all the time lately.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15449652/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15449652/ Sat, 10 Nov 2007 13:30:10 PST 2. Consumed alcohol. // Yes
3. Slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex. // Yes
4. Slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex. // Yes
5. Kissed someone of the same sex. // Yes
6. Had sex.// Yes
7. Had someone in your room other than family. // Yes
8. Watched porn. // Yes
9. Bought porn. // No
10. Done drugs. // Yes
TOTAL SO FAR: 9

1. Taken painkillers. // Yes
2. Taken someone else's prescription medicine. // Yes
3. Lied to your parents. // Yes
4. Lied to a friend. // Yes
5. Been to rehab. // Nope
6. Done something illegal. // Yes
7. Cut yourself. // Yes
8. Hurt someone. // Yes
9. Been to a club. // Yes
10. Seen someone die. // No
TOTAL SO FAR: 17

1. Missed curfew. // Yes
2. Stayed out all night. // Yes
3. Eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself. // Yes
4. Been to a therapist. // Yes
5. Snuck out of the house. // Yes
6. Dyed your hair. // Yes
7. Received a ticket. // Yes
8. Been in an accident. // Yes
9. Wished someone to die. // Yes
10. Been to a bar. // Yes
TOTAL SO FAR: 27

1. Been to a wild party. // Yes
2. Been to a Mardi Gras parade. // No
3. Drank more than four beers in a night. // Yes
4. Had a spring break in Florida. // No
5. Sniffed anything. // Yes
6. Wore black nail polish. // Yes
7. Wore arm bands. // Yes
8. Wore t-shirts with band names. // Yes
9. Listened to rap. // Yes
10. Owned a 50 Cent CD. // No
TOTAL SO FAR: 34

1. Dressed Gothic. // Yes
2. Dressed prep. // Yes
3. Dressed punk. // Yes
4. Dressed grunge. // Yes
5. Stole something. // Yes
6. Been too drunk to remember anything. // Yes
7. Blacked out. // Yes
8. Fainted. // No
9. Had a crush on a neighbor. // No
TOTAL SO FAR: 41

1. Snuck into someone else's room. // Yes
2. Had a crush on your friend. // Yes
3. Been to a concert. // Yes
4. Dry-humped someone. // No
5. Been called a slut. // Yes
6. Called someone a slut. // Yes
7. Installed speakers in your car. // Yes
8. Broken a mirror. // Yes
9. Showered at someone of the opposites sex's house. // Yes
10. Brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush. // Yes
TOTAL SO FAR: 50

1. Consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper. // No
2. Seen an R-rated movie in theater. // Yes
3. Cruised the mall. // Yes
4. Skipped school. // Yes
5. Had surgery. // No
6. Had an injury. // Yes
7. Gone to court. // Yes
8. Walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping. // Yes
9. Caught something on fire. // Yes
10. Lied about your age. // Yes
TOTAL SO FAR: 58


1. Owned/rented an apartment. // No
2. Broke the law in the police's presence. // Yes
3. Made out with someone who had a gf/bf. // Yes
4. Got in trouble with the police. // Yes
5. Talked to a stranger. // Yes
6. Hugged a stranger. // Yes
7. Kissed a stranger. // Yes
8. Rode in the car with a stranger. // Yes
9. Been harassed. // Yes
10. Been verbally harassed. // Yes
TOTAL SO FAR: 67

1. Met face-to-face with someone you met online. // No
2. Stayed online for 5 hours straight. // Yes
3. Talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight. // Yes
4. Watched TV for 5 hours straight. // Yes
5. Been to a fair. // Yes
6. Been called a bad influence. // Yes
7. Drink and drive. // No
8. Prank-called someone. // Yes
9. Laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex. // Yes
10. Cheated on a test. // Yes
TOTAL SO FAR: 75

-If You Have Less Then 10.. write [I'm a Goody Goody.]
-If You Have More Than 10.. write [I'm still a goody goody.]
-If You Have more Than 20..write [I'm average.]
-If You Have More Than 30..write [I'm a bad kid.]
-If You have more than 40..write [I'm a very bad influence.]
-If You Have more than 50..write [I'm a horrible person.]
-If You Have 70+...write [Public enemy number 1.]

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15428011/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15428011/ Thu, 08 Nov 2007 23:38:03 PST
i'm done with people. i'm done with the high school drama. i didn't do a damn thing, and people are starting shit.

you wanna know the fucking truth? here's the fucking truth. not that you'll believe me, but what the fuck ever.

- i want to hate you with all the fires in the world. i can't. i hate how you don't care about me anymore, or what happens to me. i'm running straight downhill. you were my best friend. you meant the world to me, i would die for you, and i didnt' do shit. i never once said you were a bitch, all i said was that you were hanging out with your new best friend and didn't have much time for me anymore, and you know what? i was fine with that because i'mma busy kid. whatever. you can think what you want. high school changes everything, you'll soon find out who your real friends are. thanks anyways. as for you, and you know who you are. i don't give a damn if you start dating anyone. i don't care who she is. its not my life, its yours and i dont care what you do with it. i have my own life and my own problems to deal with. if you want to be with her, than be with her. its not that hard of a problem to work out. but seriously leave me the hell out of it. i don't want anything to do with it. i didn't mind her. she seemed cool. as for me talking shit about her, or sayin' that shes everything that you hate, I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW HER! so whatever. i've stopped trying to prove to you that i'm a good kid. who knows. things change. people change. not always for the best right? look, i dont' want to fight with you. not at the moment anyways. you're a good kid, and as i told you before, whoever gets you is a lucky girl. i just wasn't the one. and i'm okay with that now. but please, get it through your head that i'm not the type to talk shit about other people, especially when i don't even know them. as far as me "telling your mom" that you were dating her, i never once. all i said was that i heard from a friend that you guys had a thing, and all i did was ask if you had said anything. THAT'S ALL. but whatever. i guess i'm lying, cuz apparantly i lie all the time. i've seemed to have mastered that technique. i'm done.

IF I WANTED TO TALK SHIT ABOUT YOU, I WOULD SAY IT TO YOUR FACE.

okay. so for the rest of you who decide to talk shit about me, start rumors, turn my best friends against me, fuck you. i don't need you or your bullshit so keep that in mind. i love those two with my whole heart and soul. they were two of my best friends, and now i got nothing to show for it because i guess i talk shit about people. so please, stop twisting every little fucking thing that i say. i'm getting really sick and tired of this stupid he said she said shit. thanks.

jilissa, you're my best friend. remember that. i would die for you, why would i talk shit about you? you haven't done anything wrong to make me mad, to hurt me, other than i miss hanging with you. but i'm always busy so its my fault. i'm sorry for whatever i did.

steven, so we're not dating anymore, big deal. you still mean the world. you're a good kid, i just wish you would believe me for once in your life. i'm not a bitch. despite what people say. i don't talk crap about you. i want you as a friend. nothing more, nothing less. keep that in mind.

you two are my world. lets keep it that way.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15384801/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15384801/ Mon, 05 Nov 2007 22:16:18 PST don't blame me for what i gotta do,
i won't hate myself to be loved by you.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15166046/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15166046/ Sun, 21 Oct 2007 22:30:55 PDT
i hate everything. including plants. they're always so green.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15094680/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15094680/ Tue, 16 Oct 2007 21:46:23 PDT i let myself in to deep, and i fell to hard. i hit the stones.

if you read this. thank you for everything.

love always, kelsidawn.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15067673/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15067673/ Mon, 15 Oct 2007 02:40:43 PDT

i'm sorry for being there.
i'm sorry for trying to hard.
i'm sorry for caring to much.
i'm sorry i fell for you like i did.
i'm sorry that i was around.
i'm sorry you feel how you do,
i'm sorry i still love you.
i'm sorry that i made mistakes,
i'm sorry i'm not good enough

i wish this could've worked out like hoped, like i wished, like you one day said it would... i wish that you were still around, and that you didn't feel like you did.

i love you, and for that i apologize, just remember that i won't see you ever again, and just remember that friends we cannot become. remember that i hit rock bottom once again, and this time i'm not comming back up.

cocaine, sex, and liquor. lets get started.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15021982/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15021982/ Thu, 11 Oct 2007 21:31:32 PDT
GAH! I got my schedule for dance now that its completely set, and OH EM GEE am I busy! I don't dance Mondays, and Tuesdays are from like 5 till 10:30, nothing on Wednesdays, then from like 4:30 till 10:30 on Thursdays, and 4:30 - 6:00 on Fridays, then 9AM till 1PM on Saturdays, then nothing on Sunday... like holy geez!

Have you ever been confused to the point of no return? Like my mind feels completely useless to me at the moment.. my tea is almost gone, and I'm not quite sure how to function about that, and I need to find another job since well you know I rolled my car, so now I need to find money for that, and I need money to pay for dance, and holy geez I'm busy! WOW! LAME! And I miss my boy, I feel like I never get to see him, and when I do, I dunno, its weird... I can't explain it... there's no words, just feelings and thoughts... its pretty homo I know.

So I think this dance year is going to be good, our groups got combined, and the two that didn't, well we all get along anyways, so it should be a good time. I'm excited and I can't wait! Its my last year, and that worries me, I don't know life without dance... Its been my thing my whole life! Since I was two! So I think it will be weird without it... you never know though! Maybe I wil be able to function without it...

AGH! I hate this. It always makes me feel like a slut. Even though I'm not. So there is this guy, and I dated him for like two years, and he moved away for three, and now that he is back he is all like "Ah I love you, I will wait for you till I can be with you, and if you never will be, then I will be single forever..." its so stupid because I don't want him... and that makes me feel like a bitch.. but seriously... I am dating the most amazing guy ever, and I'm totally in love with him, and I don't want that to change... so what do I do bout this other guy? He is like one of my better friends... or that's what I thought but apparantly he wants more than that... whatever, its not going to happen!

I need a life because seriously who sits on here and writes pointless journal entries to themselves all night long? I mean its like 10:30 and I'm on the internet writing meaningless crap that no one is going to read anyways.... whatever haha. More for me that way...

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15006915/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/15006915/ Wed, 10 Oct 2007 20:07:46 PDT
]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14989865/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14989865/ Tue, 09 Oct 2007 18:22:01 PDT
So on October 8, 2007 at approximatly 5:20 PM, I was headed out to Shostak's house (for those of you who know where that is) for dinner, and I took the back roads outta town down the Aberhart road. So 50St outta town. All was good and all was well and I wasn't even going fast, like I dunno round 40km/h because my car sucks on gravel roads. I started going down the river hill when my car started to fishtail really bad (its rear wheeled drive and real low) so I tried to slow down a bit, which obviously didn't work. I lost complete control and was headed to go into the ditch, but over the side of the river hill which is like a 300 ft drop and straight down... gay I know. So I cranked my steering wheel as hard as I could the other way and I ended up spining in 3 circles and my car rolled 4 times, one of which was in the air and landed bout 50 feet downhill from where I started. It landed on its roof, and since my roof was glass the entire frame got crushed completely flat. So yea. I got stuck under the dashboard, and then I got stuck on my seat belt cuz it locked up and wouldn't come undone. Then my car filled up with smoke and I started to freak out even more. So after ten mins of trying to get out I finally got my seat belt undone and I fell onto the roof which then was shattered completely. I was able to barely pull myself out of the car through the hatch which was broken and less than foot off the ground. So after I did that two guys showed up in a truck and then another guy and they called the cops and the EMT crew and my parents and whatnot.

So yea, that was my Thanksgiving.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14969715/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14969715/ Mon, 08 Oct 2007 11:45:53 PDT i hate this town.
i hate that my car is broke down,
and that my best friend is hurtin' real bad.
this is so messed up.

i need you.

if i can get my car running today, i'm gonna go on a new norway
trip and see people that i miss. and just chillout.

i've eaten so much food this weekend its retarded. way to much.
and i'm addicted to this song lol.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14788773/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14788773/ Tue, 25 Sep 2007 15:56:08 PDT
this one time, she just like up and tackled me off my bed, and we starting fighting, like literally fist fighting on my bedroom floor, and she friggen bit my nipple. she bit my nipple and like latched on for like 30 seconsd. it hurt soo bad and was like purple the next day haha. man we are sweet kids.

we even had a mousse fight... and a pudding fight... its pretty lame actually.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14675334/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14675334/ Mon, 17 Sep 2007 15:10:59 PDT
not.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14508113/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14508113/ Wed, 05 Sep 2007 19:16:27 PDT
someone come rescue me from high school.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14448885/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14448885/ Sat, 01 Sep 2007 23:41:33 PDT
]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14388542/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14388542/ Tue, 28 Aug 2007 23:22:24 PDT Which would be great. He's a jerk.. and with my luck I would most likely end up saying something to get me into lots of trouble, mostly cuz I'm sweet like that.

I got some of my extensions today.. but they don't match my hair... which is kind of gay.. but whatever. That's what hair dye is for.. I guess.. Pahaha.

P.S - I love you.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14380087/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14380087/ Tue, 28 Aug 2007 12:29:01 PDT I need my extenstions back.. JILISSA YOU TARD!
I would really like to know if Steven died or something...
cuz that would suck.
I'm cold.

I have decided that today I am actually going to get off my lazy fat ass and maybe do something like... you know go cash my check, pay of the money that I owe to random things like dance... phone... my mom... everything else... cuz I'm sweeet like that.

Haha. Just heard from Steven... I guess he didn't die. That's a good thing. Man I have to peee... So any of you reading this... please understand its all completly RANDOM! Cuz I have no life hahah.

I guess I'm supposed to be babysitting my brother... cuz I have no idea where my mother is... should that happen? Strange and unusual. No not really.

I need to go shopping for school clothes. Yay. But Gross... cuz that means school is starting... Blah.

Peace G.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14373926/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14373926/ Tue, 28 Aug 2007 01:24:33 PDT My wrists hurt.
The moon is lame.
I miss random people.
I'm bored.

LAME!

]]> ~kelsiidawnn http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14373285/ http://kelsiidawnn.deviantart.com/journal/14373285/ Mon, 27 Aug 2007 23:45:51 PDT
My guts are screaming at me from the inside telling me to shut it before I go absolutely insane and kill someone with a rusty butter knife. That's what I feel like at this very moment. Like wtf?

I want you. I have you, and I love you. I want us, you and me; to be perfect, fine, together, be happy etc. Whatever you would like to call it. I guess I'm just scared of losing you. Losing what feels like that one thing that I have been looking for forever. You're amazing.

My house is screaming at me through the walls, whom at this time are full of holes because I got moody. Well big damn deal. I hate this house, and how nothing in it is right. No one cares, no one speaks to each other? Seriously. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A FAMILY! We are supposed to be close with each other, and stick through thick and thin with each other, but nope. Not here, not this time we don't.

I can't explain.

]]> ~kelsiidawnn