http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:kodama&section=today deviantART RSS for by:kodama en-us Copyright 2010, deviantART.com Fri, 01 Jan 2010 06:54:29 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/28558488/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/28558488/ Tue, 24 Nov 2009 22:15:26 PST
A chilling scream reaches her ears from beyond the wall of pine, where shadows still hold fast against the coming dawn. The song of the sea alone reaches her ears. That death knell may as well have been all the angels of heaven rising in chorus, the forest may as well the impenetrable wall of sleep. Beyond that wall, a solitary light still dances behind the panes. What terror lives there is no more for her.

As the day dawns, as coast stirs to life, she will be found. Her body, bruised and bloodied though it may be, is not broken. Only the will is gone. She will find no joy in the rising of the sun, nor fear as night falls, in turn. The song of birds will reach her ears no longer. Only the endless rhythm of the waves. No mortal kiss will ever stir her heart. She has given that to the sea.

In life there was nothing but kindness for man. And in this, her death, she will teach man the only kindness man deserves.

]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/27991522/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/27991522/ Tue, 27 Oct 2009 08:37:53 PDT
-Kahlil Gibran

Would that it were not, but the time for excuses is long overdue.

Read into.

Read out.

Loud.

Keep your pride in check.

The lion wears the crown

But the lioness has the heart
of a warrior

He sits on his throne content. She stirs the herd from complacency.

It is in life's struggles we find our self. In death alone do we find truth, but may we never stop seeking.

Speaking.

]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/24360107/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/24360107/ Tue, 21 Apr 2009 12:59:09 PDT
--

On a completely unrelated note. Something happened last week that I am just now becoming able to process. It was one of those moments, so surreal, so completely terrifying, that even looking back on it, replaying it in my very own mind, still doesn't seem like it actually happened to me. It was nothing personal, nothing dangerous, nothing traumatizing or anything worrying like that. It has both rekindled my need to create, and temporarily robbed me of one of my greatest inspirations for doing so (that involves actually getting out of the house.) For the moment at least, it just doesn't seem possible to go for a pleasant stroll through the woods after finding something like that...

]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/21142134/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/21142134/ Fri, 24 Oct 2008 15:04:05 PDT

Getting to the point, however, here are a few thoughts I've had on death recently...

Human sacrifice had long been a powerful tool of the state. The thirsty sun gods needed their daily draught and the greedy overlords needed their subservient population. These times are long gone, but when have their greedy gods ever gone unsated in the centuries since? Surely they've had their fair share of human suffering to feast upon... but how many have simply ceased to be in cowardly, unconscionable works of fire, and with their dissolution, so the life bestowing waters, the flesh bestowing flesh. How many linger yet in silence, in boxes pine and plastic? What image of the afterworld are we creating... what private hells? In our ever "sensitive" (read, fearful) approach to our final resting place, how many great cycles, unbroken since the dawn of this infant species, has our fear-minded meddling unhinged?

Death ceases to be one with life when flesh does not feed flesh.

War ceases to be war when blood is not payed for in blood.

Again, pardon these morbid meanderings... These things consume that do not find egress.

]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/7654874/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/7654874/ Fri, 20 Jan 2006 06:11:49 PST
The cadence builds with these motes

These notes ]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4747652/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4747652/ Sun, 06 Mar 2005 23:35:20 PST
"vakir eins og við
lífi trútt"

This chain of thought heavily influenced by six words I had not yet read. Sleep depravity allows for interesting thought patterns, even without the aid of Björk's inspiration.

]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4574260/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4574260/ Sun, 13 Feb 2005 21:48:43 PST We left you there
But our hearts could not betray you

I don't actually know anyone named Josephine. This is a work in transit, from nowhere to somewhere. From my mind to the pen. One of those inspirations that springs out of the nether when you least expect it. A late-night transmutation of nothingness to words.

So who is Josephine? You tell me.

When last I saw you in the fair
So many scarlet feathers were your hair
When summer dreams were blue and white
No foreign orange could steal the sunlight
In your hair

]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4542741/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4542741/ Thu, 10 Feb 2005 00:02:35 PST ...Going to California with an aching, in my heart.

Ok, so I'm not really going to California. But I am in my mind. Just like the James Taylor song, except not Carolina. I'd very much like to go to California. And here's why!

A) It is far away from my current location.
B) It is not very close to the place I currently reside.
C) Its physical proximity is much less immediate than the geographical area in which I now exist.

I'm enjoying this campus more and more each week. I am slow to make friends, but even slower to lose them. Kind of like an elf, excepting the fact that I don't live forever. And I don't walk on snow very often. So, I got a new roommate. He's from Osaka, Japan. Here for 5 weeks learning English and such. He's a cool guy. It's fun hanging out with him and his friends. It will probably be even lonelier in this room when they've all gone. Maybe I should *gasp* go to the outside world. Where there are things to do.

But it's so bright and scary outside my kitchen!

If there were no rewards to reap
No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here
I certainly would have walked away
By now

And I still may

Tool - The Patient ]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4373818/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4373818/ Fri, 21 Jan 2005 01:04:47 PST ...Don't be afraid to care.

ART- the juxtaposition of contradictory elements; the forming of new dissonances and harmonies - new connections our universe is not capable of alone

Human is the muse of the universe, that which elucidates the illusory dichotomy between "man-made" and "natural".

WORDS- attempts to define that which is, by virtue of reality, undefineable.

The problem I have with Republic is the search to define "justice". Understanding does not require definition, as definitions require a form of "understanding" that is not possible. Then again, I am surely missing the point. It's an interesting read. I find it equally interesting trying to grasp what philosophy itself is. It seems very circular at times. Always having to sort through circular reasoning and other silly human games is quite possibly what turned me into a recluse in the first place.

Where does seriousness end and sarcasm begin?

And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forbodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon

And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

Pink Floyd - Brain Damage ]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4284284/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4284284/ Mon, 10 Jan 2005 08:30:47 PST ...but I never seem to go.

I suppose the new year deserves a new journal entry. Although years and months and days are all man-made constructs that I'm not going to rant about right now... I'm really not sure why, as I have nothing else to talk about. Besides the fact that I'm taking a little break from DA. Things are a little tumultuous lately... But things could be worse. Everything could be OK.

I get the urge for going
When the meadow grass is turning brown
And summertime is falling down and winter
Is closing in

Joni Mitchell - Urge For Going ]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4031289/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4031289/ Thu, 09 Dec 2004 22:18:35 PST When Mick Fleetwood and I started performing back in 1974, we had a vision that one day our music would be heard around the world.. while people are eating Mexican food in a restaurant.

It's like one of those cold sore you get in your mouth. It hurts like hell when you bite at it, but I'll be damned if that's gonna stop me. Such... is Taco Bell. Merely replace hurts like hell with "gives you the runs", or perhaps both, and bingo.

I decided my last journal was too borderline meaningful to stay up for very long. And, it was just that... too long. This one is short and sweet.

He put the line in the coconut and drank it all up. He put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up. He put the lime in the coconut, called the doctor, woke him up, said: "Doctor, is there nothing I can take?" He said: "Doctor, to relieve this flipper ache." He put the line in the coconut and drank it all up. He put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up. He put the lime in the coconut, called the doctor, woke him up, said: "Doctor, is there nothing I can take?" He said: "Doctor, to relieve this flipper ache." He put the line in the coconut and drank it all up. He put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up. He put the lime in the coconut, called the doctor, woke him up, said: "Doctor, is there nothing I can take?" He said: "Doctor, to relieve this flipper ache." He put the line in the coconut and drank it all up. He put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up. He put the lime in the coconut, called the doctor, woke him up, said: "Doctor, is there nothing I can take?" He said: "Doctor, to relieve this flipper ache." He put the line in the coconut and drank it all up. He put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up. He put the lime in the coconut, called the doctor, woke him up, said: "Doctor, is there nothing I can take?" He said: "Doctor, to relieve this flipper ache."

Yup, short and sweet....

Now, there you go again
You say you want burritos
I'm sure that you can keep 'em down

Lucy Lawless - Stevie Nicks' Fajita Roundup ]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4007291/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/4007291/ Mon, 06 Dec 2004 22:05:01 PST
I'm only writing this to take a break from... writing. I've got until 9:30 AM to assemble an English portfolio, then type a paper for and study for a test in music history. As soon as class is out tomorrow I'm going right to bed, and I'm staying there all day... and a little of the next. Then it's cram time for finals. I get way too stressed about this stuff. 99% of the time I'm relaxed... easy-going... then it comes to the night before several major assignments, which I've been too busy being relaxed to work on and I twist my self into little knots. It's all good though. I just keep thinking about tomorrow afternoon... and how much I love to sleep an entire day away. Ahh... sleep. Wish I could be doing that tonight. Christmas break is nearly here, and I'm going to sleep that away too. To hell with Christmas. Well, not really... I just thought I would sound angry for a moment. I don't remember the last time I got angry. Oh wait, yes I do. I hate my friends sometimes. It would be neat if I had no friends. Then I could sleep all day without being bothered. Oh wait... I do that anyway. Sometimes, people irritate me. And then other times they're fun to watch... like a petting zoo. Aww, look at the cute little humans... talking about their important "things" and having their "fun" and listening to their "music". Too bad you can't really pet them... or maybe...

And if you're good, one day you can go to heaven. Nah, not really, you just sit in the ground and rot.

Wait a second... I did have a reason for posting this. I found a paper, which I'm revising for an English portfolio, in which I had written "the media is...". I wanted to die. And that's only a slight stretch of the truth. No really. Can someone poison my kool-aid now? Why is kool-aid spelled with a K... that makes me want to die even more.

*doesn't really want to die (for those who can't tell I'm kidding)*

I'd sell my soul a dollar at a time
For one chance
One kiss
One taste of you
My Magdalena.

A Perfect Circle - Magdalena





]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3968780/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3968780/ Wed, 01 Dec 2004 23:20:08 PST ...come to be. Desensitized to everything, what became of subtlety?

"desire all
a flower blooms
undermining televise
knowing true
a tree that stands
suffocating enterprise
understand that people lie
imitate to multiply
breathe, consume
violence blooms

educate your sacrifice
emphasize to
paralyze

demoralize your sacrifice"

A little snippet of a poem I wrote some time ago. Before I deleted my 100 odd deviations. Perhaps I've been a little cynical, too guarded, too untrusting. I wonder if ignorance is really bliss. Sometimes I just want to be dumb and happy. If a tree falls and no one is around to hear it, does anyone really give a flying fuck at a rolling donut? How many more cliché phrases can I hear before I go into a spasmic rage of gnawing on various household applicances. "Hello", there's one we could do without. Or it's ever-popular cousin, "Hi, how are you?"

Pet Peeves:

A) People who say "the media 'is' this, or the media 'does' that. Not only is the word 'media' PLURAL, "they" are not a collective consciousness. This isn't Star Trek....

B) Star Trek

C) Advertising - because I don't have opinions and can't think for myself.

D) Sitcoms. Two words: laugh track. In other words, I don't know when I'm supposed to laugh because (see point C).

Why create the pretense of caring how someone is doing? We all know you don't care. Who needs empathy anyway. It's fun to be a self-centered, clueless prick. I wonder how many people understand sarcasm... Thirteen squared is 169. Fourteen squared is 196. Coincidence?

E) Common usage of the word "coincidence", i.e. "Oh, it's probably just a coincidence." Well butter me up and call me Betty! As with any given combination of occurences in the universe (incidents), it probably did "coincide" with something else.

F) People who are bothered by petty things.

Saw that gap again today While you were begging me to stay. Take care not to make me enter. 'Cause if I do we both may disappear. Tool - Pushit ]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3889763/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3889763/ Mon, 22 Nov 2004 00:57:48 PST ...It seems like years since it's been here.

It has been a hum drum autumn this year. Autumn has been a paradox for me in recent years, an ambivalence that always leads to nowhere. The fading of summer's optimism into the slow, cozy months of winter can be a melancholy time. Perhaps I read too much into the changing of the leaves. And perhaps I hold onto the past too tightly. Days and weeks and months and years. They are just more silly, human games. Games. That's what I've grown weary of: human games. Maybe that is the source of this social hibernation.

There are only two people on campus I can relate to. And I have known them both for nearly half of my life now. They are both special to me, but to everyone else my heart and mind are securely tucked away. Sometimes I still feel like I don't really know them.

I find myself wishing for snow. When the ground is covered in white, the world seems a lot brighter, and warmer. I find myself wishing the ice could melt this coccoon.

I find myself wishing even more, that I would shut up and go to sleep.
Good night.

Time it was, and what a time it was.
It was
A time of innocence,
A time of confidences.
Long ago it must be.
I have a photograph.
Preserve your memories.
They're all that's left you.

Simon & Garfunkel - Bookends ]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3868333/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3868333/ Fri, 19 Nov 2004 02:43:18 PST ) but it's still a great place to be. I can't help but feel a little sad looking back at all the wonderful deviants I used to see around that have vanished one by one over the years. It's been over three years It sure doesn't seem like that long. Oh well, here's to many more

---------Warning: Gamer/Nerd at work--------------

On a completely unrelated sidenote (to completely undermine the mood of the entire journal) if you're into first-person shooters, check out Half-life2. I don't care what anyone says, HL2 hands Halo2 its ass on a silver platter Drop me a note if you're into Half-life(1 or 2) or any of its various mods. I'm waiting patiently for DOD:Source...

]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3699920/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3699920/ Fri, 29 Oct 2004 07:56:27 PDT

]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3558796/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3558796/ Sun, 10 Oct 2004 16:31:07 PDT
Autumn always brings with it that certain sadness. Not unlike the sadness of lost love, yet much more profound. It's a time to remember all that has gone by. The smiles and colors that fade in the passing of time. It's not the shedding of tears. It's not the woe of existence. It is the melancholy reverie. That vague longing for what once was. That lingering hope that as it was, it still may be. And sometimes you stand alone on that shore. Here the winds of memory truly cut deep. Pain? No... For that is only part of the memory. There is no shore. There is no past. There are no colors.

Only the leaves...

(I'd like to thank Led Zeppelin and Phoenixia's writing for the inspiration of this post ) ]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3431234/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3431234/ Thu, 23 Sep 2004 18:21:01 PDT recovering
from thoughtless
mind restructuring

beyond depth
beyond gravity
into the shallow
waves of
intentioning

That was a snippet from a piece I've been working on. Working title of Intentioning. It's quite stuck, and going nowhere. So I may just scrap it, along with the miles of rubbish I've churned out lately. As for my compulsory made-up word-of-the-day: Think of it as the transitive form of intend. I'm a dork. I like making up words.

Is there any point to me writing this?

No.

Is every word on this page, just like every bit of matter in the universe merely energy vibrating at different frequencies?

Most likely.

Does APC's newly released cover of Imagine by John Lennon still make me happy?

Yes.

Am I going to stop asking and answering my own questions?

When monkeys sprout wings and fly out of my bum. ]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3353533/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3353533/ Mon, 13 Sep 2004 09:43:57 PDT
Things are still dandy as candy. I can no longer count my friends here on one hand, so this is good, although they do have a way of vanishing whenever I'm bored. I haven't been in a writing mood lately (I think I said that last entry too) so don't expect much of anything out of me for a while (I know I've used that one before). Not too much going on up here. Found a cyber cafe quite near that runs the new CS:Source beta (sorry, if you're not a fellow gaming nerd ). So that was a big "yay" for me, I didn't expect to find one in Louisville.

Update from the deviant world:

I'm trying to keep up on commenting... and occasionally venture outside my devwatch borders, but I stay pretty busy these days. And yes, sleeping and video games do fall under my broadened definition of busy. What can I say, I'm not a people person...

*runs and hides* ]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3194615/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/3194615/ Mon, 23 Aug 2004 11:03:25 PDT

With that out of the way, to all my imaginary friends reading this: This is an update from college. First day of classes here at the University of Louisville. I won't bore anyone with the details, other than the fact that I shall be extremely busy for some time. Sometime in the near, or distant, future I will return with new work and a veritable crapload of comments for everyone.

Until then, I bid thee farewell.

(Another sidenote: The only poem I have had in the works, a continuation of Song of the Flower, was on my old computer back home, which coincidentally is resting in computer heaven as we speak. I had thought it terribly amusing when it crashed... until just now of course.) ]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/1929885/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/1929885/ Sun, 29 Feb 2004 20:46:32 PST
On a side note: I started a forum thread years ago where I said I would comment on every single piece of whoever responded. I seriously doubt anyone remembers that now, but I AM going to go back to that soon to start again. And I WILL finish this time ^^ ]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/1406884/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/1406884/ Sat, 15 Nov 2003 21:31:41 PST ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/1366734/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/1366734/ Thu, 06 Nov 2003 20:54:09 PST
*keeps dancing*

]]> ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/1354820/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/1354820/ Mon, 03 Nov 2003 16:49:37 PST ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/1344083/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/1344083/ Sat, 01 Nov 2003 00:24:25 PST ~kodama http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/289459/ http://kodama.deviantart.com/journal/289459/ Tue, 01 Oct 2002 18:08:02 PDT Leave them warm to sleep

The moon is so beautiful tonight
Leave it cold to dream

I love to feel the taste
Of love
But loneliness is me

I am alone yet free is
My mind..


Still too weak to be true.. ]]> ~kodama