***

If all goes well on Monday, I'll be employed by a hi-tech corporate beast on Monday or Tuesday, for the next three weeks. If all goes well on Wednesday, I'll be employed at the same place from January on as well. Wish me luck!

Job-snatching tips

-- Insert something intelligent yet witty here --

Lit-tips: Irony

My Godfather is the Archbishop of a whole country. I am not a member of any church, nor am I even Christian.


P.S. We went shopping the other day and got the biggest amount of fruit I've ever seen... okay, ever bought. This included kumquats, which neither of us had eaten before, but they looked so funky! I didn't know how to eat 'em at first. They're very sour.

]]> `krissie http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/7245674/ http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/7245674/ Wed, 07 Dec 2005 09:41:06 PST
I love the sound of rain. There's plenty of it 'round here.

I miss painting and yet can't seem to commit to it. Lazygirl. My head is filled with images. Same thing with writing.

Pach can make the most awesome noises. Like the chipmunk sound (which to me seems more like a hysterical duck, but y'know...), which cheers me up to no end.


Lately, I've been going through a rough patch, mentally. For the first time in my life, I regret things. I regret what I did to myself this year; my health is still a bit shaky from almost killing myself with work. 'Twasn't worth it. It never is. It is, however, very easy to get caught up in it. "Oh, it'll only be this hectic until this project is finished; I'll get some sleep next month..." By the time you realise "this project" is about the sixth in a row, it may be too late. I feel stupid for not seeing this, because it has taken me since the spring to recover. Maybe I'll learn from it. But in any case, I am now starting to recover. Unfortunately, some of the damage may be permanent. But the most ridiculous thing is that it wasn't even worth it financially. I've been broke for the better part of the year! So... all in all, it wasn't a good year, or a wise one, but at least things are improving. And the good part is that I've been safe now, and there are people who care about my well-being, so I have been able to focus on getting better. I am getting better now.


***

And now for something completely different!

[Go here] if you're a writer! *Davenit, a talented photographer, is looking for writing for a photography project (he's aiming for a gallery showing). He is going to do a series of seven to nine images, based on a human emotion, inspired by literature: your writing. From what I've seen in his gallery, he is very creative, and I would be proud to take part in this.



]]> `krissie http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/7187946/ http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/7187946/ Wed, 30 Nov 2005 17:33:02 PST
On some days, I just want to be left alone. And I'm so tired of browsing jobsites. But it's okay, it's okay, I just need to find something semi-okay.

I'll have another poem up soon.

Today's December 1st; this frightened me. I didn't expect it this soon! My birthday is coming up, and the year's almost over. I feel so vulnerable right now. I don't want things to be over; even the years or months. Maybe I should seek comfort in bed. Pach is already asleep anyway.



P.S. If you know an amazing, passionate, modern writer, I want to know about it! Give me a link please.

P.P.S. I hate that =oddlyaromatic no longer lives here. There's a lack of guitar playing, dirty dishes and bustle. Especially the bustle. The house seems a bit big now.

]]> `krissie http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/7166559/ http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/7166559/ Tue, 29 Nov 2005 03:18:13 PST
It is common for me to listen to someone describing a problem they have, ask a few questions (nothing more than active listening), and be able to come up with several solutions. I've been surprised less at my ability to produce solutions, and more so at people not seeing what to me seems obviously laid out before them. This includes managerial issues, people problems, technical questions... you name it.

$pachunka described his working with complex ideas as putting together Lego pieces; while the pieces aren't necessarily as defined for me, I suspect it is something similar. One thing is definitely the same: I feel that the answers to most, if not all questions are "there", available. Just shuffled up.

I seem to be able to get "the big picture" no matter what the issue. And seeing all of the situation includes all the possible setbacks, so my thinking already encompasses the constraints. Then, I come up with solution packages that include all of these things. It resembles someone playing with some puzzle pieces, then me arriving at the scene, flicking through the pieces and then giving the puzzle owner three variations on how to assemble it.

A lot of the times, however, I come by, flick through the puzzle pieces, think up three variations on how to assemble it, and then walk away, thinking: "it's not my place to say anything."

Funny. I now feel that I should be using this ability more constructively.
What do you think I could use it for?

---

$spyed did the right thing!

...together with $lolly, of course. Thank you!




P.S. I love it when he brings me coffee in bed!

P.P.S. It takes about an hour to wake Pach up

]]> `krissie http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/7120514/ http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/7120514/ Thu, 24 Nov 2005 11:37:54 PST Update: the result that I was afraid to even hope for was carried out. °ndifference's ban is lifted; the offending PVA removed from staff.

___

Listen, guys. You're being silly and immature right now by posting little antagonising messages on $spyed's userpage. Trust me in this: leaving chain messages there isn't going to accomplish anything. You're writers, right, so formulate your thoughts in a coherent manner and send 'em to $lolly and $realitysquared. While this may not seem like much visibility-wise, it'll have more impact if you act as adults.

I know we're all frustrated; this bloody mess has been going on for months and months without (apparent) change. I'm frustrated too. But how are you going to help matters by getting banned? Do you honestly think that the staff aren't going to look at this and go: "Oh, well, they're just troublemakers; who cares if they get banned or leave"

I don't know what would help. No matter $lolly's intent or trying to fix things, I just don't know any more.... Just when I think things may be calming down a bit, people like `mirrorkills do something stupid and start it all over again. And then the second PVA issues a statement belittling the work of pretty much any GDs (see below). Yeah, can anyone guess why we're angry?

I've seen a lot of journals about the love for dA and its members from the dA management. Guess what, love isn't just what drives things in good times. Love means that when there are problems, you address and fix them. $lolly's current journal basically says, "if you think there are problems here, then why don't you just leave". That's not exactly encouraging, is it?

THIS IS MY MESSAGE:

The people who have just been banned, the people who are raging against what they see as injustice and abuse of "power", are the people who love dA as much as anyone. Maybe more, if they're so passionate about it! While the above-mentioned acts seem silly, this tells me not that there are a lot of immature people about, but that this matters. That this mess has been allowed to go on for such a long time that even the most level-headed guys lose their cool.

I would like to see the two rampant PVAs apologise to both °ndifference, the rest of the dA staff, and the dA literature community. And to stop going around insulting people. This, however, will most likely never happen.

I can easily dig up the list of offences that were listed in this journal before I removed the info, after finding out that the issue is being worked out (but it seems that nothing has been worked out; the un-banning of some people was only a symptomatic relief). I wouldn't want to, but hell, I'm reaching the end of my patience as well.

---

°ndifference

"[...] but then I guess you don't have any idea about that since as a GD your most strenous activity was picking DDs or posting news articles probably and now your most strenous activity is complaining and trying to rile people up." [link]

Gawd.

]]> `krissie http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/7051909/ http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/7051909/ Tue, 15 Nov 2005 06:34:22 PST La-Serpentia wants to wrestle with me in wine-flavoured jello. Heee.

Tell me what you have bookmarked and which sites you read daily, and...

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavour of jello* to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on in your journal. You MUST**. It is written.


* Just never ever ask me to eat jello. I don't eat things that jiggle :j

** Actually, "must" is a slight exaggeration. I probably won't check.

I always mean to clean up my bookmarks, and never do it. But these are the most read:
Engadget
Sinfest
Ctrl+Alt+Del

A few news sites (wired.com, BBC, etc.), a whole folder of poetry-related sites, a couple of friends' blogs... And, of course, dA. Plus, I randomly add things I think "might come in handy" at some point, such as some Dublin City Centre maps, a few job ad links, a Guzmania care page, CSS Zen Garden, book reviews, apartment rental pages (these expire every couple of days), etc. Obviously, I don't trust my ability to Google things

I'm home sick right now, trying to recover and also figure my way out of the mess I created job-wise. Probably, I'll have to work at least another month as a phone monkey, quit as soon as I can without paying the stupid fine, and then possibly temp until I find something good. Urrrgh. Remind me never to work in a call centre again; I'm not used being treated like an answering machine.

P.S. I think I ate about 10 oranges yesterday (well, mandarines really, and might've been 15) And Simon says he "tolerates" oranges. Heeheheheheheheehehehe. Hehe.

P.P.S. Ohh noe(z). Wish me luck for tomorrow...

]]> `krissie http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/6968892/ http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/6968892/ Sun, 06 Nov 2005 06:41:42 PST Hey, it's hard work keeping s-s-ssharp, isn't it?

Oddly enough, I didn't look like anything out of a fantasy, not one of mine anyway. The black coat fell around me in silent ripples and the sunglasses made me look like a hungry cat. A failed superhero. Heroine. Oh, how I loved that word - heroine. Not quite the taste of cocaine but multiple interpretations taste good in a word.

I passed a few vacant-eyed, grey people on the street, marvelling at the contrast with my own extravagant self. I tried gliding instead of walking. Damnit! That made me trip over my own feet. I still looked better than any of the spectators, so I gathered my remaining dignity (there was plenty), growled at the wrinkled man trying to offer a helping hand, glared at the rest, just in case, and strided on.

The mobile rang, and I answered, cursing under my breath for the inconvenience. Someone mumbled something about a meeting and a coffee shop into my non-caring ear, so I barked "no!" and threw the phone into the nearest garbage bin. It was an aging model, anyway.

---

That was fairly random, wasn't it?

And while we're on stories, I uploaded "Not a Monolith". Go read

P.S. I figured out a lot of things this weekend; I am happy. I have made peace with myself.

]]> `krissie http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/6916608/ http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/6916608/ Mon, 31 Oct 2005 13:43:22 PST
5. Ireland is the third country I've lived in. Fourth if you count Finland where I've been going a few times a year for holidays.

6. I have travelled in more than ten countries, but consider this only a fraction of the places I want to see.

7. I get really bad motion sickness. This means no reading on long car-/bus-/trainrides. Boats and ferries make me want to curl up in a ball and die. But I am perfectly fine in airplanes! I am also fine in very small, fast boats.

8. I adore airplanes, and have flown one myself (but I wasn't allowed to land or take off, since I didn't have the license).

9. I've only ever needed the ambulance twice. Both times I almost died because the ambulance never arrived.

10. I am a hopeless perfectionist.

11. I am terrified of needles.

12. $pachunka introduced me to games. Before I met him, I'd never seen a GameCube.

13. My least favourite number is 7; I have an unhealthy fear of this number (probably counted on it as a child and something went very wrong). I am also secretly apprehensive of the number 13 but I pretend to like it.

14. I strongly believe that the best headache cure is sex.

15. I used to ride horses every day.

16. I love sushi but I must be in a "seafood mood" to really enjoy it.

17. I covet technical stuff. Who actually needs an iPOD Video? Or a widescreen TV? Well, I reach my greedy little paws to anything that has a) an apple-shaped logo on it, b) is big and shiny or c) has loads of RAM.

18. I only really like about five of my poems (most of them are still up at [link]). I haven't written my best yet, but they're on their way.

19. I lived in the U.S. when I was seventeen, and decided then to become an artist. I think it's safe to say I'm not an artist quite yet.

20. I can speak Russian (at a conversational level anyway) and can put on a fabulous Russian accent, baby.


Hmmm... =oddlyaromatic, ~delliversagain, `somedrunkblackspoon, =kindred, =anarchypress and =Paulkun - it seems to me that y'all haven't done this silly thing yet. So consider yourself tagged and lay out the wicked little things about yourself!

]]> `krissie http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/6882638/ http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/6882638/ Thu, 27 Oct 2005 13:42:08 PDT I lied about the 20 journals.
But here are a couple more things. And since most people I know have already been tagged, if you haven't been, then I tag you!

II

I quit smoking some time in August, after 11 years of one or two packs a day. That's right - not August Xth at 3.58 PM; just some time ago. I consider it pointless to keep track of the days that've passed since quitting (perhaps because when you say it's been x amount of days, there should be an "until x", but there's no "until" here). I prefer to measure time by doing things, not not doing something (what an awfully constructed sentence!). I also don't need a support group to tell me how wonderfully brave I am for not smoking today, or how they're doing in their 'fight'. I go and do something else, instead of focussing on what I'm missing.

With that said, I do have bad days when everything goes wrong, and then I might have a smoke... But that's simply indulging. It doesn't mean I would start again.

III

I am completely dyslexic when it comes to directions. When I was a child, I learned the "right hand/ left hand" trick to distinguish between the right and left directions, and I still have to use it. When someone tells me: "Okay, turn left at the next lights, keep going, and then it's your second right and then another left", I'm pretty much lost after that first traffic light.

Last night, I realised it's only because I see and sense my surroundings differently. Not by turns to take, not by the directions; I always make sort of a space-model of a place in my head, and it is defined by things another might not necessarily notice: the texture of the pavement, a strangely shaped balcony on a building, a bundle of trees shaped in a particular way. Now, all I need to figure out is how to translate the things in my head into what others could understand, and vice versa.


P.S. Pach and I bought a plant last night (a guzmania, striped like a tiger). I named it Hector.

P.P.S. If I were to go to a Halloween party, what do you think my costume should be?

]]> `krissie http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/6782353/ http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/6782353/ Sun, 16 Oct 2005 10:52:35 PDT got tagged by `justthorne!
Because I'm a nutbar, I'll do this another way. There'll be 20 journals with the 20 things. This is the first.

---

I now have no grandparents alive. The last of them, my favourite grandmother died a couple of days ago. I should have gone to see her before coming to Ireland. I should have told her a million times how much I loved her and how important she was when I was an abused and battered child, and she did everything she could to show me love and caring, and something different than misery. She took me places, told her dog that I was under his protection, and when I was at her place for the summers, she whispered every night before sending me to bed that I was her favourite grandchild.

She loved Paris, nudist beaches, chestnuts, the Russian language, communists, and mussels. She was always bronze-tanned in the summer. She took me on long walks - she could walk long distances extremely fast. It seemed like she was often in a hurry, but she always had time to stop for an ice cream.

She made me feel safe, taught me how to talk to plants and how to be unique. For the longest time, she lived in a one-bedroom apartment that looked like a magic place. There were plants everywhere - small palm trees, cactuses, plants that climbed or hung from things, plants with enormous leaves. It was a tiny place filled with exotic things from various countries, yarn, and books. So very many books. It was the most wonderful mess I've ever seen, and I loved being there.

I hadn't seen her in years; it always seemed like there was time to do it in the future. I hope she's somewhere beautiful.

]]> `krissie http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/6750016/ http://krissie.deviantart.com/journal/6750016/ Wed, 12 Oct 2005 23:04:56 PDT
I had a long entry up with some very unpleasant information. I've removed it now, because it was no longer relevant or necessary, at least not in such form. If you read it before the edit, please know that the situation is now being resolved... And I am delighted. And optimistic.

$lolly, ^ndifference... you guys rock.

]]> `krissie