deviantART: by:littlemissangel

deviantART: by:littlemissangel http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:littlemissangel&section=today deviantART RSS for by:littlemissangel en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 02 Dec 2009 22:18:58 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png Doesn't know anymore http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/25802722/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/25802722/ Tue, 07 Jul 2009 18:19:28 PDT Watch me Note me Journal Instructions

Surely being happy in any regard isn't too much to ask??

Apparently my boyfriend loves me but doesn't like the things that make me me.

So where does that leave me?

]]> =littlemissangel I Want To http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/25103533/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/25103533/ Wed, 03 Jun 2009 09:01:35 PDT Watch me Note me Journal Instructions

When i become so unhappy
And why my brain doesn't understand that if i get something back from the time or a time i was happy that it isn't going to make everything magically better.

Why do i hate my job?
Why do i hate that my boyfriend grumbles about staying up late and never wants to go out but is only 22?
Why did my best friend do that stupid thing I've done stupid things and he's supported me why can't you accept it? I need you to accept i still want to be his friend!

Why do i feel like I'm having a mid life crisis?

And how come i feel so alone in the world is it because i can't relate to anyone?

And the person i feel brings out the best in me i dunno wat if they don't and it's all in my head??

I want to feel less lost and more sure of myself i want more space and less crap.

I want to remember what it's like to be happy again instead of always telling my brain to shut up because i don't want to know what i'm thinking.

I want to be me i want to remember who i am.

I'm soo lost and confused and it hurts alot

]]> =littlemissangel Lost and Upset http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/25003550/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/25003550/ Thu, 28 May 2009 18:45:19 PDT Watch me Note me Journal Instructions

I lost my best friend and worse through his actions.

Do you have a friend that understands you better than everyone else?? **** was that person for me and I feel lost.

**** didnÂt care if I had a giggling fit for 10min whereas everyone else looks at me like I should grow up!!

I feel like i have no one I can say whatever is on my mind to because they will take it the wrong way.

I decided that IÂll support him through this but after it is all done with I can't be friends with him.
I canÂt imagine going to the beach with him or the movies or even having a conversation it wud always be there in my mind wat he did.
I donÂt think I cud handle it. But I will be honest and tell him our friendship deserves that much.
I just I feel like **** let me be me instead of making me fit in.

I have no one to tell my deepest darkest secrets to anymore.

If i want to do something implusive and crazy who do i have that will agree?

i feel alone in this massive sea of people.

]]> =littlemissangel blah http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24919827/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24919827/ Sun, 24 May 2009 07:31:08 PDT
]]> =littlemissangel People Suck http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24623532/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24623532/ Wed, 06 May 2009 18:03:57 PDT
BUT what the fuck is wrong with people honestly what the hell is going on? Has everyone just suddenly decided not to give a shit about anyone else and not told me cos from where I'm standing *sorry stretching up on my tiptoes whilst i pull the knife out my best friends back* It looks like noone even considers anyone elses feeling!

I can't go into detail ppl will read it but i basically got asked to lie to my best friend or to neglect to tell him something.

I ask you a question if you knew two ppl were best friends asking one of them to neglect to mention something to the other something that your pretty damm sure wud hurt them wud you? NO because it fuken rude!

Whats even worse in my eyes *again apologies is i offend* is that the people behind this are christian and go to church every week!

I believe in god i believe in doing the right thing by ppl it took me along time to see what the right thing is but i can guarantee that honesty and forgiveness are part of it.

I'm soo upset i don't know what to do or say. And my boyfriend has decided that instead of being there for me and trying to calm me down or aleast help me feel a little less upset he doesn't want to talk about. I didn't ask for him to agree with me just help.

What is the point in evening having ppl in your life so far as i can see they just hurt use and abuse you.

]]> =littlemissangel life http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24555368/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24555368/ Sat, 02 May 2009 20:50:08 PDT
]]> =littlemissangel A is for Antisicpation N is for Now http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24387044/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24387044/ Wed, 22 Apr 2009 23:50:08 PDT
Sigh 2 and a half hours till i see my sexy baby...

Ok Sorry sorry i'll stop now apologies.

Life is good playing hockey on the weekend but for the boys insteed of the girls

should be fun.

Can't wait to get my stimulas money and buy either an SLR or a tablet can't decide...

spose i cud spend it on painting classes too.

so much to choose from.

*makes graby motions with hands*

]]> =littlemissangel Dancy Dancy Dancy Dancy http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24249272/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24249272/ Wed, 15 Apr 2009 00:15:54 PDT
I'm getting Tonsillitis ......again..... but on the upside it's a record cos i made it to april without it

i'm very excited dunno whay just am.

I kinda realised that as over rated as life is it's under rated to.

life is strange that's for sure.

Don't underestimate it's abilitly to go BAM i'm here sucker...........

]]> =littlemissangel Dancy Dancy Dancy Dancy http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24249271/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24249271/ Wed, 15 Apr 2009 00:15:52 PDT
]]> =littlemissangel MUST READ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24032556/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/24032556/ Thu, 02 Apr 2009 22:28:35 PDT
the messenger by Markus Zusak

it's very ruff and raw but beautiful in a way that shines through. it's the best dive into human behaviour i've seen.

It's an amazing book i just wanted everybody to know

]]> =littlemissangel that yucky feeling http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/23994684/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/23994684/ Tue, 31 Mar 2009 21:27:31 PDT
Thining about doing a drawing class it's always frustrated that i'm can't get the image into my head onto the paper because i lack the skills.

I hate that stupid longing that i keep getting.

And i wish my issues didn't affect my whole life.

But on the whole i'm good and happy

Finished City of Glass and it was AWESOME!!

also read Good omens was amazing highly recommend!!

Back to my daydreams!

Nothing gives me away.
not one smile
not one tear
not one wish
that you were near

Just the dreams of you

It's not that i don't love him
I do
It's not that i'm not happy
I am

I'm happy with my life
and wouldn't change a thing

but when i see you in my dreams
it tears open a hole in my heart
I always seem to forgot

It's as if i need you here
with me
for just a second
so i can pretend it's eternity.

And though i pray i never see your face again
you'll always haunt me

]]> =littlemissangel Just wants more Anthin as usual http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/22478929/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/22478929/ Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:22:37 PST
Then i start my new job, i'm really excited.

Things are going good my parents went back two days ago.

Anthin still lives with me YAY

]]> =littlemissangel One of thoooooose days http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/21869284/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/21869284/ Sun, 07 Dec 2008 16:51:28 PST
You know were you just want to pull the doona over your head and not come out until tomorrow??

yep thats so me right now.

]]> =littlemissangel Issues http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/21363408/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/21363408/ Thu, 06 Nov 2008 19:17:00 PST
I'm happier then i can remember being.

Things are pretty good atm

Work is busyish

Hope you all well!!!!!

]]> =littlemissangel Things http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/21102641/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/21102641/ Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:17:25 PDT
Life's pretty good.

I've hit a platue (flat rock thing kinda like a plain).

Everything is going along at the same pace.
I'm kinda nervous about my first psych visit but dats ok.

Just chillaxing i guess.

]]> =littlemissangel Talking http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/21006270/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/21006270/ Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:58:37 PDT
I find it hard to talk to ppl but my boy makes it easier how cool is that.

*wants more Anthin hugs*

]]> =littlemissangel Over it http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20991989/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20991989/ Tue, 14 Oct 2008 19:09:28 PDT
]]> =littlemissangel Grrr http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20977991/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20977991/ Mon, 13 Oct 2008 21:39:54 PDT
Ok sometimes they aren't. What things to i bite my tongue on and wat things do i say?

Am I allowed to say i'm a little pissed because I don't get to come over your house and do burn outs in the paddock??? Mainly because i'm not allowed over!

And yeah ok it's not that i'm not allowed and yeah i don't wanna be pushy i want you to be comfortable.

But how come you spend alll this time at my house?? Yet i haven't even seen your room yet.

See i'm being silly.

And it's not really about that, maybe i would enjoy coming to your house and talking to you while you work on cars..... OH WAIT i'm not allowed over.

Are you ashamed of me? Why do you care wat your parents think soo much (ok i get why you care)? I know my parents will see the amazing person i see in you.Do you not think your parents will see inme watever you see? I don't understand why your sooo paranoid about me meeting your parents?

Ok i'm being alittle over the top stupid pissy girly feelings.

Whatever.............

]]> =littlemissangel Decision's http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20867950/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20867950/ Tue, 07 Oct 2008 01:10:13 PDT
You know you will gain something but you have to give up something too?

I made one of those. i have to give up my best friend in order to move forward in my life.

I guess i had to give up one of the most important things in my life. But i know i'm going to get something else that is equally if not more important.

]]> =littlemissangel Happiness http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20847206/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20847206/ Sun, 05 Oct 2008 22:35:01 PDT
He is alllllll mine XD

And i'm allllllllllll his

I can't get the smile off my face.

Soooooooooooooooooo Happy

*Sigh*

]]> =littlemissangel Wats Resolve? http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20797813/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20797813/ Thu, 02 Oct 2008 17:48:57 PDT
But now i have to do the stupid waiting and not seeming to eager thing when i really want him to be at my house like yesterday.

*Daydreams* - then passes out

*high pitched girly squeal*

*sigh* I wonder how long i'm gonna have to wait i suck at the waiting part.

]]> =littlemissangel all over the place http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20752134/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20752134/ Mon, 29 Sep 2008 23:59:41 PDT
One minute i feel one way then i feel another way, i just want some stability.

sigh i don't wanna keep changing my mind every week.

I want resolve.

But resolve comes from within.

What if I've never had any to begin with?

Sigh

]]> =littlemissangel Hiiiiiiiii http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20527349/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20527349/ Tue, 16 Sep 2008 18:48:35 PDT
This week has been interesting i need to get internet at my new house but cos it's in the hills it's a rip off. 59 bucks a month for 12G i don't even really know what that means.

So i've decided i'm gonna give it tell next sunday and then just come clean and tell him i like him.

*day dreams*

Meh i better get back to work now.

> I'm waaaaaay to happy

]]> =littlemissangel Is probally not okay http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20484617/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20484617/ Sun, 14 Sep 2008 07:42:09 PDT
I don't want to be in love,like or lust.

Whats the point it just hurts, i'm soo over it.

I have to take painkillers for medical reasons (i.e extreme pain).

And it doesn't hurt as much as unrequited love what gives?

And while i can normally just go whoa don't want to think about that and shove it in a little jar in the back of my head, my feelings for this persons are refusing to be ignore and i don't know what to do.

I've never cared soo much about being rejected or what the object of my affection thinks of me but with this guy i do.

He is a friend of mine and i never use to have problems talking to him but now i can't even open my mouth.

I don't know what to say i don't know what to do i get nervous i actually shake!!

Thats not me i don't do that!!!

Worst is i'm pretty sure he doesn't feel the same way and it kills me inside. I don't want to do anything i just want to get comfy on my couch and never move.

Worst if he doesn't like me back what do i do how do i make the feelings go away.

This is soooo crap, i feel like shit.

sorry i needed to get that out.

]]> =littlemissangel Confused http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20418015/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20418015/ Wed, 10 Sep 2008 05:42:37 PDT
I think i really want something and then something happens and i change my mind is that a bad thing?

I just feel like i don't know what to do with the present situation i'm in.

Originally i wanted one thing but know that im really thinking bout it i'm not sure.

I just wan to make sure i'm doing thinks for the right reasons.

I'm just really confused.

]]> =littlemissangel Harder Than i thought http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20174808/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20174808/ Tue, 26 Aug 2008 20:40:20 PDT
Why is it hard to let go?

You know your only going to be unhappy, you know it's better for both of you.

But i don't wanna lose my friend......

]]> =littlemissangel camera http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20084175/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/20084175/ Thu, 21 Aug 2008 19:00:00 PDT
Any advice?

]]> =littlemissangel over it sooooo over it http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/19923452/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/19923452/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:28:11 PDT
What if trying really hard isn't enough what if it's just not going to work. What if it's not what you want.

What then?

Why can't i walk away
Why can't i say goodbye
I thought it was soo right
Now i'm not soo sure

There are all these things i want but
What do i want more?

I feel the answer in front of me
But i don't know what they are saying

Will i ever get it right?

I feel like a Catalyst

i really do

I always spill the apple cart

without ever knowing it's there.

What do i want?

]]> =littlemissangel Sorry http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/19561035/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/19561035/ Wed, 23 Jul 2008 19:00:43 PDT
]]> =littlemissangel Why Bother http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/19438255/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/19438255/ Thu, 17 Jul 2008 01:01:20 PDT
What is the point of being able to see both sides of an arguement when you can see both side's are right and wrong. How does that help in the decision making process HOW???

What if i feel like no matter what i do i'm somehow wrong and right?

I give up seriously

]]> =littlemissangel R E S P E C T http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/17250278/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/17250278/ Sun, 09 Mar 2008 04:46:25 PDT
]]> =littlemissangel happy Happy http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/17160392/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/17160392/ Mon, 03 Mar 2008 07:03:35 PST

: D

]]> =littlemissangel Friends http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/16997334/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/16997334/ Thu, 21 Feb 2008 17:26:22 PST
I feel like i'm messing something like there is something unsaid going and i don't know what it is.

I don't know what to do? It's like no matter how much i'm trying to avoid it i keep making mistakes i keep trying to avoid the smae paths the same mistakes the same hurt and life is saying that it doesn't care that i can do it again. I don't want to i still hurt from last time i don't want to do this again.

i don't want to lose anybody else it hurts i want it to all go away.

Nut it won't and i have to deal with it and i don't know how i don't know where to start

]]> =littlemissangel I love you guys http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/16854243/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/16854243/ Tue, 12 Feb 2008 19:00:02 PST

I have a boyfriend Lalalalalalalalalalalala

Just try getting the smile off my face, i keep staring off into space and it takes me 10min to do a 10sec job.

*babbles insanely*

]]> =littlemissangel Seriously http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/16726147/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/16726147/ Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:59:47 PST
It's just grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

]]> =littlemissangel Getting Better http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/16292523/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/16292523/ Sun, 06 Jan 2008 19:45:54 PST
Umm i miss Gavin and David alot Gavin's in London and David is in South Africa.

Kinda getting over the losses in my life.

How can you want some one sooo much it hurts and know they treat you like crap and you deserve better and have everyone tell you you deserve better??? I'm not sure how your heart can be such a traitor and still belong in your body.

Started a great new job i love using my brain and being busy so much excitement. I've had my 10min break back to work now.

I hope you all had fantastic holidays!!!!!!!!

]]> =littlemissangel Stupid Men http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/16116862/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/16116862/ Wed, 26 Dec 2007 23:15:13 PST
]]> =littlemissangel New Job http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15923938/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15923938/ Thu, 13 Dec 2007 21:12:37 PST
but i have a new job and it's amazing and i'll be really busy adn myabe not really on here much

]]> =littlemissangel ALL RIGHT http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15910958/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15910958/ Wed, 12 Dec 2007 23:01:30 PST . I spoke to my mother about stuff felt good to get it off my chest. And something amazing happened but i will wait for confirmation before i crow to loud things are good.

I'm very excited

]]> =littlemissangel Next please http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15881107/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15881107/ Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:39:55 PST
I'm soo angry, i just want one nice thing i guess i have a car a job and a roof and a father who cares i should be more thankful for these things i guess i just want the things i had before and i'm having a hard time adjusting to the fact that things will never be the same i'm always going to hate and resent my mother for leaving me here and going off with my step dad and my baby brother so she can have the perfect life she has always wanted i was the price and she was more than willing to pay

I'm pissed at ppl for not thinking about how their actions affect others. Temptation is a big thing but when ppls feelings are involved you should care about more than yourself and what your getting. I guess some ppl can't withstand certain types of temptation, and never will.

*sigh* I am happy but i'm sad and angry too. I want to tell my mother how much i hate her for leaving me here but it will just push things further. They never asked me to go with them and the one time i asked all she said was don't expect us to pay for everything not whats wrong honey whats soo bad that you want to leave australia and move to another country away from everyone.

Care Factor ?

]]> =littlemissangel I'm back http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15771718/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15771718/ Sun, 02 Dec 2007 21:23:54 PST
Feeling better and stuff wadding through my 1784 deviations and my 279msg and i'll get there i promise.

I missed you all and you were all so wonderfully amazing to me while i was pouty and grumpy.

]]> =littlemissangel My Head Hurts http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15768777/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15768777/ Sun, 02 Dec 2007 17:31:13 PST
I feel surround by a dark black mist and i can't see where i'm going, i can't hear who is calling my name.

I'm soo pi$$ed off i'm soo angry

Why?

]]> =littlemissangel Can i just fade away please http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15623786/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15623786/ Thu, 22 Nov 2007 15:59:14 PST
Wats the point i mean really

I know i haven't been on here much i just can't do it at the moment any of it mainly Life but i'll get over it once i've cried enough and thought about how good dying wud be i'll get over it Tolerably well i should imagine.

I just need some time I'll come back

]]> =littlemissangel MIA http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15580762/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15580762/ Mon, 19 Nov 2007 18:02:56 PST
]]> =littlemissangel Ready, Aim, Fire http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15510763/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15510763/ Wed, 14 Nov 2007 17:33:22 PST
I can't do this anymore, i don't want to do this anymore.

I just want you.

Your the person i tell everything to, when something happens your the first person i want to call, to talk to, i feel like without you there i missing something i never knew i had. I don't want to just be friends we have never ever just been friends. I can't, i don't want to, you can't make me. I just i can't talk to you without dying on the inside. This hurts soo much more than anything i've ever felt.

I can't do it, I can't. Please don't make me

And i also want to say a really big thank you to the deviants below they are all wonderful people who always put up with my whinging and i wanted to say thank you. And apologise if i have forgotten anyone i'm not really thinking today

]]> =littlemissangel Betrayal http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15468875/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15468875/ Sun, 11 Nov 2007 18:40:21 PST
It's as if my mind and I come to a realisation and my we tell my heart and my hearts says hello i've know for ages. And my mind and i are like well why didn't you lets us know. THe answer is of course that i wan't listening

is thins making sense

oh and i'm officially an Insomniac

=littlemissangel Driving in my car http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15409535/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15409535/ Wed, 07 Nov 2007 16:44:13 PST
SO last night i got in my wonderfully comfortable bed and the first thing i thought was that i didn't want to wake up the next day.

Life isn't crap exactly i have lots of things to be thankful for i have a good job a roof to live under clothes food another job a car thats fixable. But i'm unhappy It's my birthday in two days the 10th and i can't really remember a time where i was more misreable. I'm fighting with a close friend well i guess not talking wud be a better way to put it, another friend has to work so can't be there for my birthday dinner but can make drinks *thats not her fault* ANother friend go invited to another party and is going to that after mine *which i don't mind*

It's just i feel so alone my parents are all in other countries i miss them all so much my mum. stepdad, babt brother and my dad. THe only person i trust is in manchester.

How crap is that i trust one person in my life just one. It seems like the ppl i thought i cud trust just take pleasure in hurting me.

I got told i make my friendship too easy and that ppl turn around and expect me to always be there. ANd i am because i think thats what good friends do but i can't seem to find any friends to do that for me and the one i can find isn't in the country.

I guess i'm feeling sorry for myself more than anything.

I know i haven't been around much for any of you and i'm sorry

... ]]> =littlemissangel Numb http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15366739/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15366739/ Sun, 04 Nov 2007 18:12:02 PST
I offically have two jobs and i'm sick as well sleep sweet sleep.

http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15210095/ Thu, 25 Oct 2007 01:19:03 PDT
Do i stand up for myself to a fault and get called a B i t c h or do i let ppl walk all over me?

=littlemissangel Devious Journal Entry http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15196598/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15196598/ Wed, 24 Oct 2007 01:38:18 PDT Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler than change

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

It's easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
It's easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15181942/ Tue, 23 Oct 2007 01:18:48 PDT

=littlemissangel Devious Journal Entry http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15093067/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15093067/ Tue, 16 Oct 2007 19:25:43 PDT

http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15080187/ Mon, 15 Oct 2007 20:59:26 PDT
Yet all i want is to forgive you but how can I let myself?
The forgiving part is easy for my heart but my mind.

YOu lied to me, can you honestly look me in the eyes and say you didn't?

I don't know what i'm suppose to think of feel any more.

There are a hundred voices inside my heart and head each one screams an opinion each one screams an emotion.

But there are only two i can see with any real clarity
Hate and Love

I hate what you have done to me i feel betrayed, i hate all the things you left unsaid

But i love you and want you as my friend

But how can i forgive you?

One question don't F88k it up don't lie to me because if you lie in response to this one question i will never speak to you again tell the truth to me and i might be able to trust you enough to be friends not this month but maybe in the coming months i can work on it

Check out this deviant

And i also want to say a really big thank you to the deviants below they are all wonderful people who always put up with my whinging and i wanted to say thank you. And apologise if i have forgotten anyone i'm not really thinking today

]]> =littlemissangel Well now i know http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15063155/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15063155/ Sun, 14 Oct 2007 18:08:03 PDT
I can't even put into words how i feel just never speak to me ever again. How could you lie to me how could your pathetic does she even know what was going on? SO much for you me time i'm confused crap you were just waiting around for her and decided to use me in the mean time

F88K YOU

SO you are suppose to copy your birth month and put a strike through the things you are not, that was too difficult for me on this wonderful F***en monday morning so i deleted them.

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. . Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. . High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. . Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Unpredictable.

And here are the months:

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever.Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy.Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention.Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled.Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing.Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation.Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings.Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.G... ]]> =littlemissangel Wadding through the murky depths http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15019413/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15019413/ Thu, 11 Oct 2007 18:12:53 PDT
Sh** so i got home last night and had my break down like really had my break down but i resisted all forms of communication Go ME!!!

THen i went aNd got drunk and sent text msg anyway so god knows what the point of the first half of my night was

Why am i sooo pathetic i don't let anyone else treat this way.

You know the split second you wake from sleep and you think about what a good sleep it was then every thing comes rushing back in your mind and you wish you cud have the all consuming numbness and nothingness that is sleep back?

Or is that just me?

And it's not just that either it's the fact i can see all the mistakes i made and all the mistakes you made and i can't see the difference i can't make the distinction. And there mistakes everyone F88ks up how come mine ruin everything it's not like anything i did was that bad

I think i might go now

Do you think i cud go 5 minutes without crying? so much for working i just keep hiding so ppl can't see the tears.

]]> =littlemissangel HI http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15007100/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15007100/ Wed, 10 Oct 2007 20:22:00 PDT
]]> =littlemissangel Joining the dots very slowly http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15005564/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/15005564/ Wed, 10 Oct 2007 18:36:32 PDT
YOu know when things happen and it's make you reasess stuff?

Welll i had that kinda night last night there is even a nasty poem with swearing because lets face it i'm soo sick of all the F***en crap.

I dunno some days i can handle how things are and other days i swear and scream and cry.

How long till i get to say enough is enough and why can't I?

I feel like i'm doing an emotional connect the dots each week i reach a new emotional state.

One day sometime soon i'm gonna get back to number one look back and when i get there please don't mess with me because i will f***en lose it and not in a nice way.

I can see it looming on the horisen when i break when i crack don't be there don't call me don't talk to me just stay the f*** out of my life. Because looking at you breaks my heart

]]> =littlemissangel Jornal thingy http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/14979450/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/14979450/ Tue, 09 Oct 2007 00:50:09 PDT
]]> =littlemissangel Go away http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/14904219/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/14904219/ Thu, 04 Oct 2007 01:32:35 PDT
Remember the time when...yeah thanks rub it in a little like it doesn't hurt already.

I swear to god if my mind shows me one more memory of how F***ing amazing my memories are i'm going to kill myself.

How the hell am i surppose to be able to talk and see and it hurts too much i can't do it and but then if i can't see and talk it hurts just as much.

I feel like the biggest F***ing fool, i feel so used

WHen is enough, enough ? When do i get to say stop no more it hurts ? and i do want to say it so why won't my heart let me ?

]]> =littlemissangel This place i live in http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/14893542/ http://littlemissangel.deviantart.com/journal/14893542/ Wed, 03 Oct 2007 01:33:15 PDT
I guess i'll just keep on pushing through

]]> =littlemissangel