http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:living-forthe-end&section=today deviantART RSS for by:living-forthe-end en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 11 Dec 2009 17:07:31 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/9611599/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/9611599/ Sat, 05 Aug 2006 20:27:09 PDT
it's all my fault...

i'm going to regret that for the rest of my life...

he was everything to me...

i'd die for him...

and now i lost him...

i hate myself... ]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/9358354/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/9358354/ Wed, 12 Jul 2006 20:24:19 PDT
I got my license! WOOT. But I don't have a car yet. It sucks. I wont have one for a long time.

My parents are on their honeymoon until saturday or sunday. So, I'm staying at Justins. Not like its a big deal I'm here all the time anyways :-D I love being with him. He is the bestest. I even moved my computer over to his house. Haha, I basically live here. I love it.

My subscription is almost out. I'm sad. I don't know when I'll be getting a new one either....

Well, I better go. Love ya'll!

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8919431/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8919431/ Tue, 30 May 2006 10:34:50 PDT
It's been awhile...

I dyed my hair again... It's no longer black. It's Light brown. It actually looks really good ^_^.

I'm still with Justin. ?

I'm supposed to be cleaning my room.... damn you dA

I'm seriously so bored.

Oh! A couple weeks ago, my parents kicked me out. That was fun.

I'm in therepy now.

I almost dropped out of school.

My parents don't like me very much right now. I think they want me to break up with Justin... they don't like him.

I need to finish my room....

I love ya guys!

<3 Reeca Dae

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8733923/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8733923/ Wed, 10 May 2006 19:15:20 PDT
Black Silvertone, hardly used. Amp, stand, case, and wires included.
A few little scratches on the back, but you can hardly see them.
Asking price: $180

Write me a message if interested!!

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8591366/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8591366/ Wed, 26 Apr 2006 12:11:15 PDT
OH!!!! I have some AWESOME-LY kick ass news for you all.... but I can't say till I know for sure... hahahaha! :-D

I've been really busy... again. Any time I get I spend it with Justin. ^_^, he's the best thing to happen to me. We've made a lot of decisions together... important decisions. Which you will know about soon enough. <3

I'm so happy.... Justin and I were fighting this morning because he was being an ass towards me because he was mad at his dad, so I flipped out on him for taking it out on me.... and then he got in a better mood. Oh yeah, *whiplash*. LOL.

Well, tis time for me to go. to everybody. to: Gen, Kayla, and Anna!!!!

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8446215/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8446215/ Wed, 12 Apr 2006 07:49:40 PDT
I got my computer. I love it. It's so much faster, and I can actually download music. I'm planning on getting adobe, hopefully by the end of the month. Then I'll be posting a lot more. I've Just been downloading music like no other. haha.

Justin and I almost broke up last night. A few days ago I started crying and he said "fuck it" and walked away from me. That's something that really bugged me. I need to be comforted when I'm crying. And we've been talking about getting engaged this summer, but he seems very unstable... one day he's wanting to drop out, the next wanting to run away... the list goes on. But, we talked about it last night and things are going to change.

Well... I'm going to go... no one really reads this.

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8383700/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8383700/ Thu, 06 Apr 2006 11:53:10 PDT I'm not sure how long it'll take to get it all hooked up, prolly a few days. I'm so excited. I'm at school and like every 5 seconds I turn to Kara here in class and grab her arm and freak out. (she says "It's true...") Kara gives me german chocolate... and I love her for it. ^_^

I'm with Justin. He is SUCH a great guy. Honestly. In fact, I think I'm getting engaged this summer....

Well, I better get going, I'm going to delete all the old pix of Zach and I.

I love you guys!

P.S. I'M FUCKING GETTING A NEW COMPUTER!!!!!

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8299124/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8299124/ Tue, 28 Mar 2006 20:35:03 PST
I got my tax returns, $324. So, $100 more and I'm getting a new computer Bout time. This one is honestly about to die.

Justin is turning out to be a great guy. In the past 6 days he's already gotten me 4 roses, wrote me countless poems, and has treated me like a queen. He's amazing.

I'm getting a lot more hours at work. So, that's good. I don't think I'm going to quit, free game and movie rentals is worth the shit I put up with.

In my last journal I said that my rents hated me, and just in case you didn't catch it, I wasn't actually serious, mmmk?

I have a really bad cold right now, I'm having a coughing fit at this point in time. Kinda sucks.

I don't know if I'm going to be posting shit on here much longer. It's not because I'm mad or anything, it's just I suck at photography. I've had this dream stuck in my head that I'm going to be a photographer or graphic design artist for a living someday. And all it's ever going to be is a dream. I'm bad at both graphics and photography. I don't know what I want to do anymore. I suck at everything. wow.... EMO. *slaps self*

Time to go. <333

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8230187/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8230187/ Tue, 21 Mar 2006 18:33:16 PST
I have been SOOOO happy lately.

Know why? No, you don't.

I broke up with Zach. He just wasn't making me happy anymore... and so NOW i'm happy!!

I met a new guy (yes, already)

His name is Justin and we havn't actually started dating yet, but we're going to soon, prolly tomarrow.

Anyways...

I'm thinking about quitting my job, i'm so damn sick of my manager.

I've been grounded for 3 weeks, and I get off grounded tomarrow... but then I have to work 5 to 9... WTF????

My parents officially hate me b/c I'm 17 and they cant control me any more (na-na na-na boo boo) They said I'vehad a "Bad Attitude" lately. I'm like "No, i'm just 17 and hate the world" hehhehehe

But, I'm going to go.... more later!! <33

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8097582/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/8097582/ Tue, 07 Mar 2006 20:11:28 PST
I need a new life. Everything is always the same and always so routine. I know exactly what will happen in a day when I just wake up. I just want a little excitement. But, I'm not going to get it for awhile.

Other than that things are going well. Zach and I are still together. My friend Samantha just got out of JDC, so that's really nice. I missed her.

My Anna-Banana sent me my yearbook. ^_^ Love you Anna!!!

I'm having another one of those blocks. You know, where I can't do SHIT. haha.

Well, so long for now. <33

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7832142/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7832142/ Tue, 07 Feb 2006 19:17:17 PST Mood: Apathetic

My life is spiraling downwards, I couldn't get enough money to go to that Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert. It sucks cuz they play some of my favorite songs like "Stab My Heart Because I Love You" and "Rip Apart My Soul" and of course "Stabby Rip Stab Stab" And it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either.. like that guy from that band can do... somedays anyhow.

"I'm an emo kid non-conforming as can be.
You'd be non-conforming too if you looked just like me.
I have paint on my nails and make-up on my face.
I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs.
Cuz I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag.
I call it "Freedom of Expression" most just call me a fag. Cuz our dudes look like chicks and our chicks look like dikes
cuz emo is one step below transvestite.
Stop my beathing and slit my throat.
I must be emo.
I don't jump around when I go to shows.
I must be emo.
I'm dark and sensitive with low self esteem.
The way I dress makes everyday feel like Halloween.
I have no real problems but I like to make-believe.
I stole my sisters mascara now I'm grounded for a week. Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies.
I can't get through a Hawthorn Heights album without sobbing.
Girls keep breaking up with me, it's never any fun.
They say they already have a pussy... they don't need another one.
Stop my breathing and slit my throat.
I must be emo.
I don't just around when I go to shows.
I must be emo.
Dying my hair and polish on my toes.
I must be emo.
I play guitar and write suicide notes.
I must be emo."

My life is just a black abyss, ya know? It's so dark and it's suffocating me and grabbing ahold of me and tightening its grip. Tighter than a pair of my little sisters jeans... which look great on me by the way.

"When I get depressed I cut my wrists in every direction. Hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection.
I write in a Live Journal and wear thick rimmed glasses.
I tell my friends I bleed black and cry during classes.
I'm just a bad, cheap immatation of god.
Catch me in the ride and watch me jack off.
I wear skin tight clothes, while hating my life.
If I said I liked girls, I'd only be half right.
I look like I'm dead and dress like a homo.
I must be emo.
Screw XBOX I play old school nintendo.
I must be emo.
I like to whine and hate my parentals.
I must be emo.
Me and my friends all look like clones.
I must be emo."

My parents don't get me, you know? They think I'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy... well, a couple guys. But, I mean, It's the 2000's you can get 2 or 4 dudes to make out with each other without being gay, I mean chicks dig that kind of thing anyways. I don't know diary, sometimes I think you're the only one that gets me. You're my best friend.

I feel like tacos.

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7717234/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7717234/ Thu, 26 Jan 2006 19:30:28 PST
I'm going back to MN next week-end. Whee. Not looking forward to the chance of seeing Brian, and DEFINATLY not to see alesha. I'd kill her. I'd kick her in the fucking stomach.

Zach and I got in a fight yesterday, kind of a big one. But it's rather confusing, so I dont really want to explain it.

I was going through an artistic block. But as I'm sitting here I have multiple ideas running through my head. So, I may just take some pictures tonight.

I've been trying to work my ass off in school so I can be a senior next year. So, i've been pretty busy with homework and shit.

I guess my life isn't that fun to talk about, so I'm going to go. <333

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7673997/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7673997/ Sun, 22 Jan 2006 08:42:26 PST
I'm doing better since my last journal entry. I've been sleeping A LOT! *yawn* I'm still tired...

I've still been talking to Brian. Things are going good... all I wanted was to be friends with him, and I am now so things are good there.

I still have my job! Horray!

OMFG! Azu is going to be selling Pon and Zi prints again. I can't wait! Last time I bought 2 of his prints ^_^!!! I love Pon and Zi! Ppl just need to stop stealing his artwork though. Pretty soon he's going to stop posting here on dA. ;.;

Well, time for me to go. I have to call DJ, Zach, and Christine... >.<

<3333

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7643229/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7643229/ Wed, 18 Jan 2006 20:11:27 PST
1st this morning, my mom walks in my room and tells me I'm grounded.

Then I couldn't find my keys. But then I found them under my couch and of course when I was pulling them out my keychain broke.

Zach broke the bumper off his car when he picked me up because he was listening to me and not paying attention.

I get to school, and Kiley, one of my best friends, was crying. So, I went up and gave her a hug and asked her what was wrong... and she said that she hated me.

Then during Ad Room (reading/announcements) I tried to study for my history quiz, but Zach and Josh kept sticking their crotches in my face. On any other day, it would have been fine... but today I got fucking pissed.

So, since I didn't study for that quiz I got 3/10. YEAH FUCKING GREAT!!

Then I was walking to my study hall and I saw Zach and I tried to stop and talk to him and give him a hug... but he gave me one of those "walk by hugs" and just kept going. So, that pissed me off cause I felt like he didn't want to be around me.

I get shit straight with Kiley.. but then get in a fight with 2 of my other really "good friends" because they were the reason Ki was mad at me.

I got a really reallt bad headache by this time.

(^ that's all before NOON!) Then, before 5th period, I literally RAN into Andrew (Ki's boyfriend) Who I fucking hate with a goddamn passion.

Things started to smooth out by the end of school. But THEN Zach tells me he can't spend Saturday (our anniversary) with me. I take anniversaries VERY seriously. So... I'm grounded today and tomarrow... and then Zach will be gone all of Friday and Saturday... so that makes our time together limited to school.

Yes, there's more. I found out right after school that I failed 2 semester tests... which I Needed to pass. So, I started bawling and kicking and punching the walls. And then you know when you're crying and HYSTERICAL and people come up... "Are you okay?" I wanted to punch them.

So, Zach then drops me off at home.... where I take a 4 1/2 hour nap and when I woke up I took a nice hot bubble bath.... I'm all calmed down..... THEN I come on here and 10 of my fucking pictures have been deleted!!! I think it's fucking gay that Photography and Art have to have a goddamn guideline!

So, that has been my day. Shittiest day.

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7624375/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7624375/ Mon, 16 Jan 2006 19:55:26 PST
Today was better than yesterday. I had a "Reeca Day" Zach catered to me alllllllll day. Anything I wanted, I got. It was great... <33

I had to take a few semester tests today.. that kinda sucked but I think I passed them.

Not too much is happening. Same old, Same old.

I have been obsessed with this song for 3 days!!

<3

"God Is A Lie" Wednesday 13

I've made a fist but I cannot knock upon that door
'Cause once I walk through it I won't be coming back no more
It's strange how everything can change oh, so very fast
Somewhere someone out there will always have the last laugh

Just say a prayer for me, in case I forget
And when you speak of me, don't say it in regret
Life's a grave...dig it

I'll put the noose around my neck
Will you get to me just in time?
I've got no reason left to live
But I've got a hundred to die
I'll put my hands together now
Hold them up to the sky
But there's no one to save me, yeah
'Cause I know...God is a lie
God is a lie

Everyday I look at myself and I wonder why
I have written the soundtrack to the end of my life
And as I climb this ladder now it is certain I will fall
God, he must be deaf because he never heard me call

Just say a prayer for me, in case I forget
And when you speak of me, don't say it in regret
Life's a grave...dig it

I'll put the noose around my neck
Will you get to me just in time?
I've got no reason left to live
But I've got a hundred to die
I'll put my hands together now
Hold them up to the sky
But there's no one to save me, yeah
'Cause I know...God is a lie
God is a lie

Somebody save me!

Just say a prayer for me, in case I forget
And when you speak of me, don't say it in regret
Life's a grave...dig it

I'll put the noose around my neck
Will you get to me just in time?
I've got no reason left to live
But I've got a hundred to die
I'll put my hands together now
Hold them up to the sky
But there's no one to save me, yeah
'Cause I know...God is a lie
God is a lie

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7614541/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7614541/ Sun, 15 Jan 2006 20:22:47 PST

I met Zachs real mom for the first time today. We went out to eat at Famous Daves. She was extremly nice. I was so nervous... lol, yes I was nervous.

Then I went and got my eyebrows waxed for the first time. It didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would've.

Then I went to Zachs house, and we layed on the couch and watched Anchorman. And then ate supper (fish soup... MMmmmmmMM.)

I don't know why it was such a good day... it just was. ^_^

I have to look for a new job... I havn't been on the schedule at Hollywood for 2 weeks... I need the $. So, I'm going to look for something else. Probably a pet store or something ^_^ hehehehe.

Oh yeah! Details on what happened last night. Well, I talked to Brian.... (I apologize to those of you who havn't known me long and don't know who the fuck I'm talking about.) It was very.. weird. Now that he's broken up with Alesha, he can talk to me again. I don't know... we're on good terms... which is what I've wanted. But I dont want to develop feelings for him again. It took me SO long to get over him. We broke up in the beginning of October, and I JUST now started dating again. Zach and I havn't even been going out for a month yet. So it took me from October till January to date again... and it was hard. (my close friends know that) But, I guess that's enough on that subject.

Well, I'm going to go. I love you all and thank you SO SO SO SO SO SO SO much for the support and 5,000 pageviews!!!!

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7605632/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7605632/ Sat, 14 Jan 2006 21:09:03 PST Mood: "Bout-to-die" Tired
Watching: 40 Year Old Virgin

Well, I finally subscribed to dA. For 3 months. Whoo! But I am SO frickin tired, a lot of shit happened today... unexpected shit. *sigh*... more on that later...

XoXo~ Reeca Dae

]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7594858/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7594858/ Fri, 13 Jan 2006 17:26:19 PST
I hate not having any time. I'm either at school, work, or with Zach, I'm honestly never home anymore.

Well, we just finished a semester at school. THANK SHAMPOO!!! I never have to put up with Dr. Anderson ever again. She is THE WORST teacher I've ever had.

I'm trying to quit smoking... it's not really going too well. Although I have cut down A LOT! I'm only smoking 2-5 cigarettes a day, that's amazing concidering I was smoking a pack to a pack and a half a day.

Christmas was good. I got a dvd recorder. But it wouldn't hook up to my tv so I went and bought a new 20 inch flat screen. ^_^.

I can get my licence in less than a month, but I've had barely any driving experience. So I doubt I'll be able to get it.

Well, I'm going to start putting some pictures up. I hope you all like them! I love you all and miss ya too! <3332 ]]> ~living-forthe-end http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7241442/ http://living-forthe-end.deviantart.com/journal/7241442/ Tue, 06 Dec 2005 18:57:34 PST
So, you will be seeing more photography on this account. Thank you for sticking by me. I love you guys <3! ]]> ~living-forthe-end