http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:lupiskwid&section=today deviantART RSS for by:lupiskwid en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 18 Dec 2009 10:36:52 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/9199073/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/9199073/ Tue, 27 Jun 2006 11:44:32 PDT I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?
Gloria

Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours, Gloria ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/6752047/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/6752047/ Wed, 12 Oct 2005 19:55:46 PDT
1. I like peanut butter and A-1 sandwiches.
2. I think I may be the only person in the world who dislikes West Side Story.
3. I hate being the only virgin in the room. And it happens a lit.
4. I have entirely too many cousins.
5. This journal is entirely frivolous. Funny at times, but I rarely update it with things that happen in my actual life.
5. When I'm eating candy, I feel guilty if I accidentally rip the wrapper.
6. My ego is too big.
7. I gots two siamese kitties!
8. I can't draw. At all.
9. I am happiest when I'm rehearsing for a musical.
10. The upcoming Rent movie fills my soul with unfettered glee.
11. I hate being wet and cold, yet I live in western Washington.
12. The fact that I'm a senior scares the bajeezus out of me.
13. I can't believe I just used the word "bajeezus" in a sentence.
14. I am in at least four choirs.
15. I sing baritone.
16. I play the piano.
17. My favorite food is spaghetti carbonara.
18. My dad read The Lord of the Rings to my brother and I as a bedtime story when I was six.
19. I will occaisionally twitch for no reason.
20. Hotdogs make me nauseous.

I tag , , and ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/6713707/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/6713707/ Sat, 08 Oct 2005 15:41:25 PDT Pippin

When
Friday, November 18, 7:30 PM
Saturday, November 19, 7:30 PM
Sunday, November 20, 2:00 PM

Saturday, November 26, 2:00 PM / 7:30 PM
Sunday, November 27, 7:30 PM

Where
The Everett Performing Arts Center
2710 Wetmore Avenue
Everett, WA 98201

How Much
Tickets: $7-8
Bow Office: (425) 257-8600

There aren't going to be as many seats as usual, so please call and get tickets early. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/6224327/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/6224327/ Sun, 14 Aug 2005 11:31:38 PDT
Around A.D. 1200 Leonardo of Pisa (Fibonacci) discovered that a few weeks after putting 2 male rabbits plus 2 female rabbits in the same cage, he ended up with considerably more than 4 rabbits. Fearing that too strong a challenge to the value 4 given in Euclid would meet with opposition, Leonardo conservatively stated, "2 + 2 is more like 5 than 4." Even this cautious rendition of his data was roundly condemned and earned Leonardo the nickname "Blockhead." By the way, his practice of underestimating the number of rabbits persisted; his celebrated model of rabbit populations had each birth consisting of only two babies, a gross underestimate if ever there was one.

Some 400 years later, the thread was picked up once more, this time by the French mathematicians. Descartes announced, "I think 2 + 2 = 5; therefore it does." However, others objected that his argument was somewhat less than totally rigorous. Apparently, Fermat had a more rigorous proof which was to appear as part of a book, but it and other material were cut by the editor so that the book could be printed with wider margins. Between the fact that no definitive proof of 2 + 2 = 5 was available and the excitement of the development of calculus, by 1700 mathematicians had again lost interest in the equation. In fact, the only known 18th-century reference to 2 + 2 = 5 is due to the philosopher Bishop Berkeley who, upon discovering it in an old manuscript, wryly commented, "Well, now I know where all the departed quantities went to -- the right-hand side of this equation." That witticism so impressed California intellectuals that they named a university town after him.

But in the early to middle 1800's, 2 + 2 began to take on great significance. Riemann developed an arithmetic in which 2 + 2 = 5, paralleling the Euclidean 2 + 2 = 4 arithmetic. Moreover, during this period Gauss produced an arithmetic in which 2 + 2 = 3. Naturally, there ensued decades of great confusion as to the actual value of 2 + 2. Because of changing opinions on this topic, Kempe's proof in 1880 of the 4-color theorem was deemed 11 years later to yield, instead, the 5-color theorem. Dedekind entered the debate with an article entitled "Was ist und was soll 2 + 2?" Frege thought he had settled the question while preparing a condensed version of his "Begriffsschrift." This condensation, entitled "Die Kleine Begriffsschrift (The Short Schrift)," contained what he considered to be a definitive proof of 2 + 2 = 5. But then Frege received a letter from Bertrand Russell, reminding him that in "Grundbeefen der Mathematik" Frege had proved that 2 + 2 = 4. This contradiction so discouraged Frege that he abandoned mathematics altogether and went into university administration.

Faced with this profound and bewildering foundational question of the value of 2 + 2, mathematicians followed the reasonable course of action: they just ignored the whole thing. And so everyone reverted to 2 + 2 = 4 with nothing being done with its rival equation during the 20th century. There had been rumors that Bourbaki was planning to devote a volume to 2 + 2 = 5 (the first forty pages taken up by the symbolic expression for the number five), but those rumor remained unconfirmed. Recently, though, there have been reported computer-assisted proofs that 2 + 2 = 5, typically involving computers belonging to utility companies. Perhaps the 21st century will see yet another revival of this historic equation. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/6087451/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/6087451/ Sun, 31 Jul 2005 10:34:50 PDT justthorne's journal-

I have never encouraged collective discontent or uprising at this site, over any issue, at any time when others were itching for destructive hostility to this site. But the atrocity toward °jark, and the administrative silence in response, is simply too unacceptable to abide.

So here's what I've got, the only rational plan I can come up with, that might possibly work.

First, what's the problem?

The founder of this site was sacked without notice or respect. (In fact, during a recent face-to-face meeting at the Summit, nothing was even said about it, despite such a golden opportunity for the weasel to act like a MAN.)

Regardless of the wisdom of sacking the founder, the conduct itself reflects a poisonous lack of integrity at the top levels of our administration. (If necessary, read my moral assessment here. And °euphoria's latest journal is telling too.)

There has been no communication to the community regarding this deplorable conduct. Not even spin, let alone honesty.

But here's the real problem:

That the agent feels surely he will get away with this.

That is, he can pretty much assume or count on 99% of deviants to go on their merry way, too addicted to this site to take any meaningful stand over it.

He can pretty much count on "business as usual" in the big picture, both at the moment and over time.

He can believe that, sooner or later, this whole mess will simply blow over, largely because DA is such an irreplacable experience with such inertia of motion that it will barrel forward, as it always has.

Left on its own, that premise is true.

So we've got to attack exactly that premise.

But not in a way that will destroy the site or the dream in the long term. Because that's really the last thing that any of us want.

So here's the best strategy I can come up with.

Let's make this site about nothing but integrity, and taking a stand on its behalf.

First and most important, stop submitting art. Unless that art concerns the issue at hand. I would also suggest hiding all your art, but how you handle that is your call. (I personally don't believe in deleting art, but hiding it is non-destructive. Use [link] to batch it all away.)

And if you're burning to post new art, find a way to make it relevant. (Shoot, you'll end up with extra attention for riding the wave, so you could even consider it "enlightened self-interest.")

Second, stop commenting art, unless that art concerns the issue at hand.

Third, stop posting journals, unless they concern the issue at hand. Consider posting a simple journal that says merely "Waiting for Jark to Get the Respect He Deserves," if you've nothing more complex to offer than that.

Fourth, stop any public communication, unless it concerns the issue at hand. We're all addicted to our social lives here, but let's take it into Notes.

Fifth, minimize viewing of art, to slow down the view counts and statistical progress of the site (as well as ad revenues).

Sixth, make sure your current Favorite reflects the issue, by picking a piece that's concerned with it. In fact, fave as many relevant pieces as possible, to push them up into the DTFs.

Seventh, if you are an administrator who doesn't believe in this crap either, I'd suggest minimizing your administrative functions. Am I out of line to suggest that? Quite possibly. But each administrator should strive to express their indignation as best they can, even if only by passivity.

And eighth, though I have no desire to pimp myself, link this journal if you please. Or, hell, copy it into your own if you please. (If so, take care to preserve the links, there are only a couple. I can note anyone with the copy to preserve the proper bolding and italics.)

In effect, you see, we're "taking all the fun out of DeviantART." But without doing anything that's long-term destructive.

But here's the critical plank of the plan, without with none of the above will really make a difference.

We MUST not spam pages, for a host of reasons.

But we must personally spread the word, to people we know, in an attempt to grind this site to a halt. I would suggest Noting, and just generally keeping our eyes open for people who are blowing this off.

Obviously, most of us here are brimming over with social energy - that's why we spend so much time here. Let's put that social energy to good use.

For instance, if an artist we know and like is continuing to post art, let's note them and say, "Hey, could you please lay off for the time being, until °jark is treated with the respect he deserves?"... ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/5604656/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/5604656/ Thu, 09 Jun 2005 23:15:25 PDT We have erred and strayed from thy beat like lost sheep,
We have followed too much the intonations and tempi of our own hearts.
We have offended against thy dynamic markings,
We have left unsung those notes which we ought to have sung
And we have sung those notes which we ought not to have sung
And there is no support in us.
But thou O conductor, have mercy upon us miserable singers,
Succour the musically challenged,
Restore thou them that need extra note-bashing,
Spare thou them that are forever without a music stand.
Pardon our over-singing and have faith
That we shall hereafter follow thy foot tapping,
And that we may forever sing together in perfect contrapuntal harmony. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/5443076/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/5443076/ Mon, 23 May 2005 21:21:47 PDT
So. Went to el orthodontist-o and got the most wonderful news: I need jaw surgery! Oh joy. Which means I get the privelige of having braces again. Which means spacers. Which means that I am seriously considering writing Webster and telling them that there is now a new definition of "pain".

In other, happier news, my "Wicked" songbook finally arrived (Whootah!)! Who all has seen the musical (or heard the soundtrack, or read the book)? My plan for my high school graduation next year is for me to accompany on the piano while two of my ladyfriends sing "For Good" (it's almost the perfect graduation song...we will bring tears, dammit!).

Also, I got a sheet of Congo Blue and a sheet of Primary Red theater lighing gel in the mail. Why, you ask? Congo Blue also passes infrared light. That means that with about 3 layers of CB and one of PR, you get a filter that lets only IR light through. It works best on sunny days when there's lots of ambient IR. Chris and I are going to make goggles for our Physics project. After we're done with that I plan to just wear the goggles around school and freak people out.

Book recommendation: "Wicked" by Gregory Maguire ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/5215680/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/5215680/ Thu, 28 Apr 2005 18:46:25 PDT Reading: Wicked - Gregory maguire

*le sigh* My trial subscription ends today...how sad...no more pretty thumbnails the the devwatch...no more beta testing. WAH!

Ah well, I'll live...maybe I'll try to scrape together $30 for a year's subby.

]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/5153398/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/5153398/ Fri, 22 Apr 2005 09:12:44 PDT Listening to: Sidewalks - Story of the Year
Reading: Native Son - Richard Wright

Well now...that was unexpected. I got a free one week trial subscription. Man...I like this...I would get one just for the thumbnails in the Devwatch

Oddly enough, DA seems to be running very slowly...is it just me, or are you guys noticing that too?

[EDIT] Nevermind. It's fine now.... [/EDIT] ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/5133524/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/5133524/ Tue, 19 Apr 2005 19:55:00 PDT
1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/4980733/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/4980733/ Sat, 02 Apr 2005 15:21:22 PST
In 1957, Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.

They had one son, Jack.

Jack Schitt grew up and married Noe, and together Jack and Noe Schitt produced 6 children:

Holie Schitt (who came to be known as "The Lucky Schitt")
Fulla Schitt
Shineola (who didn't really have the Schitt Face)
Giva Schitt
Bull Schitt (who really looked like Schitt, the father),
and the twins: Dip Schitt and Deap Schitt.

Dip Schitt was not very bright, and was known as "The stupid Schitt", and she married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out who happened to share the same last name (no relation, however). Friends affectionately nicknamed them "The Schitts". Their marriage produced no little Schitts.


The other twin, Deap Schitt, went on to build a deodorant empire, which became famous for it's slogan: "Smell Like Schitt". Interestingly, that slogan only worked in the United States, and another slogan was more popular in the U.K.: "Put a dab of Schitt on your pits." When the company launched its product into Australia, a third slogan was used successfully: "Smell Like Schitt Down Under".

But soon, trouble developed and Noe Schitt divorced Jack and promptly married a nice man named Ted Sherlock, but being a modern woman, she decided to hyphenate her name. She become known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Jack was depressed at losing Noe, but he, too, remarried a nice lady named Loda. The blushing bride, Loda Schitt, produced a son of nervous disposition, whom they named Chicken Schitt.

Jack and Loda went on to produce two more boys, Krappy Schitt and Ugglee Schitt.

These athletic brothers, Krappy and Ugglee, married the stunningly beautiful Happens Sisters in a dual ceremony.

The "Schitt-Happens" Wedding was a huge affair, and this union also produced many offspring:
Dawg Schitt
Byrd Schitt
Hoarse Schitt
and Pigh Schitt

But once again, Jack lost his love for his wife, and left to tour the world. He recently returned from an extended visit to Italy with his newest bride, Pisa.

Presently Jack Schitt and his 3rd wife, Pisa Schitt, are living without children in New Jersey on property which contains a stream of water, now known to the locals as "Schitt Creek."

(From now on, nobody can say you don't know Jack Schitt!) ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/4541673/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/4541673/ Wed, 09 Feb 2005 20:27:54 PST
WHEEEE!!! ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/4222621/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/4222621/ Sun, 02 Jan 2005 16:56:28 PST Remember to never split an infinitive.
The passive voice should never be used.
Do not put statements in the negative form.
Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
A writer must not shift your point of view.
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
(Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
Always pick on the correct idiom.
The adverb always follows the verb.
Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/3851841/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/3851841/ Tue, 16 Nov 2004 17:42:58 PST
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil . .. in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil .. . we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

"An axis can't have more than three counties", explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in 'Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/3689363/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/3689363/ Wed, 27 Oct 2004 19:14:30 PDT ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/3469667/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/3469667/ Tue, 28 Sep 2004 22:29:41 PDT
Here's my LJ account: [link]

Go there if you want to know what happens in the life of the Skwid.

I'll just keep posting funny stuff in this journal to keep everyone amused. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/3289800/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/3289800/ Sun, 05 Sep 2004 02:08:40 PDT
* Trust me. I do this all the time.
* I'm just not ready to make a commitment
* No.
* NO!
* No, there's nothing wrong with my pancreas. Why do you ask?
* Unleaded.
* If I HAD three pennies, I would have given them to you.
* I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
* I have a high metabolism.
* Forty-Two, maybe fifty.
* I was absent that day.
* But if I tie it looser, that'll defeat the purpose.
* I'm not authorized to release that information.
* If the mouthwash doesn't get it, try a mixture of lemon juice and muriatic acid.
* Define love.
* You'll break your mother's heart.
* I had it done when I was in boot camp.
* When hell freezes over.
* Because the world would be a lot better off it things were done my way all the time.
* I posted it yesterday. It should be there by the end of the week.
* I ran out of stamps.
* No, honestly. I can't taste the freezer burn.
* To make as much money as humanly possible as quickly as possible while expending the least amount of effort. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/3041857/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/3041857/ Wed, 04 Aug 2004 12:33:32 PDT And then came the Assumptions.
And the Assumptions were without form.
And the Plan was without substance.
And darkness was up the face of the Workers.

And they spoke among themselves, saying,
"It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh."

And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said,
"It is a pail of dung, and none may abide the odor thereof."

And the Supervisors went unto their Managers saying,
"It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."

And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying,
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."

And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another,
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."

And the Directors then went unto the Vice Presidents, saying unto them,
"It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."

And the Vice Presidents went unto the President, saying unto him,
"This new Plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company, with powerful effects."

And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.
And the Plan become Policy. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2776386/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2776386/ Thu, 01 Jul 2004 00:19:04 PDT Thank you for your letter of April 17. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite your company's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.

Sincerely,
Walter Grayson ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2776179/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2776179/ Wed, 30 Jun 2004 23:39:00 PDT
Amzanig. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2765002/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2765002/ Tue, 29 Jun 2004 16:03:36 PDT
#1 -- Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

#2 -- Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

#1 -- This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

#2 -- No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

#1 -- THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS MISSOURI, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!

#2 -- This is a lighthouse. Your call. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2704807/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2704807/ Sun, 20 Jun 2004 14:47:28 PDT
[link]

Me, ~scdlkittie, ~agent-bayne, and ~ ShaeAetherius are all members. Try it out! ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2637057/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2637057/ Fri, 11 Jun 2004 14:35:56 PDT
WE'LL MISS YOU GUYS!! ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2628438/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2628438/ Thu, 10 Jun 2004 11:23:46 PDT Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."
"Your seat cushions can be used for floatation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."
"We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane.
"Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately."
Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
As we waited just off the runway for another airliner to cross in front of us, some of the passengers were beginning to retrieve luggage from the overhead bins. The head attendant announced on the intercom, "This aircraft is equipped with a video surveillance system that monitors the cabin during taxiing. Any passengers not remaining in their seats until the aircraft comes to a full and complete stop at the gate will be strip-searched as they leave the aircraft."
Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said, "We've reached our cruising altitude now, and I'm turning off the seat belt sign. I'm switching to autopilot, too, so I can come back there and visit with all of you for the rest of the flight."
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National,a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella..WHOA..!"
"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children."
"As you exit the plane, please make sure to sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
"Last one off the plane must clean it."
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight...!"
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited,give a smile, and a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this... ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2553471/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2553471/ Mon, 31 May 2004 20:35:03 PDT * OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and address of people you don't know.
* AVOID over ordering milk by placing your fridge on the pavement just outside your gate. The milkman can then check your day-to-day requirement for himself.
* WHEN reading a book try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists.
* A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity.
* BUS DRIVERS. Pretend you're an airline pilot by wedging your accelerator pedal down with a heavy book, securing the steering wheel with some old rope, and then strolling back along the bus chatting casually to the passengers.
* LOOK 'hard' on train journeys by saving up all your empty beer cans for a month and then lining them up on the table in front of you.
* FOOL other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the kerb.
* WHEN out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.
* DRILL a one inch diameter hole in your refrigerator door. This will allow you to check that the light goes off when the door is closed.
* SAVE petrol by pushing your car to your destination. Invariably passers-by will think you've broken down and help.
* BOMB disposal experts' wives. Keep hubby on his toes by packing his lunch box with plasticine and an old alarm clock.
* OLD folks. Avoid confusion between these new 'microwave' ovens and televisions by cutting out a large letter 'M' in brightly coloured paper, and sticking it to the door of the oven.
* TEENAGERS. Fed up with posters falling off the wall? Simply file them in a filing cabinet under 'P' and you'll know exactly where to find them if you want a quick look.
* SAVE money on doorbell batteries by removing them and simply popping to the door every two minutes to see if anyone is there.
* SAVE electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking around wearing a miner's hat.
* DON'T fork out on expensive smoke alarms. simply fill balloons with water and hang them from the ceiling. Then cover the floor with air-filled balloons, each with a drawing pin stuck to the top. In the event of a fire the temperature will cause the air- filled balloons to rise up from the floor, and the pins will burst the water-filled balloons, thus extinguishing the fire. Probably.
* RE-SPRAYING your car? Cover it with 'Cling Film' first. If you don't like the new colour, simply peel it off and start again.
* BUY a television set exactly like your neighbours. Then annoy them by standing outside their window and changing their channel using your identical remote control.
* LOSE weight quickly by eating raw pork or rancid tuna. I found that the subsequent food poisoning/diarrhoea enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.
* IF a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Make the child drink as many hot drinks as possible, such as tea or coffee, and within minutes the blockage will have simply melted away.
* WHEN throwing someone a sharp instrument such as a Stanley knife, or bread knife, always throw it blade first as they invariably tend to turn whilst in the air.
* AVOID being wheel clamped by jacking your car up, removing the wheels and locking them safely in the boot until you return.
* SMELL gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.
* AVOID parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
* PENSIONERS. Try sitting on a pile of encyclopaedias next time you go for a drive in your car. That way you will be able to see out of the front window.
* SAVE the cost of installing cable TV by taping current editions of Top Of The Pops and then watching them in fifteen years' time.
* OLD contact lenses make ideal 'portholes' for small model boats.
* KEEP a hammer close to your bed in case any nails fall out of the ceiling at night.
* INCREASE the life of your carpets by rolling them up and keeping them in the garage.
* NEVER attempt to fasten your shoe laces in a... ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2536770/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2536770/ Sat, 29 May 2004 15:39:02 PDT Places
Uruguay
Paducah
Zimbabwe
Mozambique
Rancho Cucamongo
Bora Bora
Katmandu

People
Hipster
Skamakowitz
Mysoginist
Octogenarian
Beelzebub
Huffnagle
Phlebotomist
Otorhinolaryncologist
Flautist
Beeblebrox

Behaviors
High-Falutin'
Aspersion
Digginit
Discombobulate
Vituperating
Obsterperous
Pecksniffian
Gymnophilia
Polyphiloprogenitive

States of Being
Monotonous
Melancholy
Geocentric
Orthogonalization
Lilliputian
Homogenized
Onomatopoeia
Disillusion
Unctous
Morphagenisis
Debauchery
Osculation
Swank
Zog
Transfinite
Phantasmagorical

Things
Rutabaga
Wankle-Rotary Engine
Catamaran
Schnitzel
Fandango
Van Allen Belt
Poinsettia
Sphygmomanometer
Follicle
Medulla Oblongata
Frankfurter
Chimichanga
Lumpsucker
Phylactery
Opiate

Things
Zarf
Loofa
Zamboni
Fructose
Werepteranodon
Scumidibigidibum
Methylchloroisothiazolinone
Borborygmy
Krankenwagon
Bongo
Megaphone

Phrases
Ontogeny Recapitulates Phylogeny
A man. A plan. Acanal. Panama.
Winky Tinky Ha Ha Hut
Competitive Inhibition Eschew Obfuscations

Miscellaneous
Kizinti
Oligopoly
Juxtapostition
Duma
Slepitchka
Qatar
Antidisestablishmentarianism
Heebee Jeebees
Tomfoolery
Shenanigans
Acrophilia
Palindrome ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2530152/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2530152/ Fri, 28 May 2004 15:56:41 PDT

Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you, S. Berman

Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily.
I hope this is satisfactory. Kathy, Relief Maid

Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.
Please remove them. S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wednesday so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.
Your regular maid, Dotty

Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.
Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper

Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank you, Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper

Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in yourroom since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder, Assistant Manager

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here? All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 dai... ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2512497/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2512497/ Wed, 26 May 2004 10:24:26 PDT
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".
BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheep' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.
CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to... ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2497467/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2497467/ Mon, 24 May 2004 12:05:51 PDT How do I know anything really exists? - Kick it really hard.
What is the essence of being human? - Not understanding the opposite sex.
If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? - Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.
How do I know I'm not just a brain in a vat, hooked up to a computer simulation of life? - Look in the mirror. If you see a gray, spongy thing in a glass container, you are.
Can our minds exist separately from our bodies? - If they could, we'd just send our minds to class and sleep in every morning.
Is there a God? - A billion Hindus can't be wrong.
What is the nature of Knowledge? - I'm still trying to figure out the nature of college.
What is the meaning of life? - All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.
Why get a Philosophy degree? - It's more respectable than a theater degree, but you still get to drink lots of espresso. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2476755/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2476755/ Fri, 21 May 2004 12:07:09 PDT He was a manly man, a rugged veteran of the Northern ranges, with features chiseled from granite and great sinewy arms that could fell the tallest pine with but one swing of an axe no other man could lift, a bearded colossus whose roar echoed through the mountains and shook birds from trees, a man of iron forged in the wilderness he now bent to his will, and only his closest companions dared address him by his true name: Thweetie Pie.

Of all her brothers, Amy loved Roger the most, because he didn't stink much for a dead guy.

As Wiener Schnitzel looked back on his career as a mathematician, he rued the fast life he'd led; his angry, drunken proofs, the cheap tawdry theorems scrawled in lipstick on the naked bellies of unconscious groupies, the lemmas he'd hustled for fixes in the smoke-filled back rooms of conferences, and determined to go back to his origin, to rationalize his singular life with the common denominator.

Leroy began his day with a trip to the insurance agency, where he purchased exhaustive life insurance, which was fortunate since he dies at the end of the book.

xHrps'tphlng manuevered his gleaming hover car over the hot sands of Ybl'g'fnrPqn, pondering his conversation with Ambassador ffFFptbh|lknguf concerning his suspicions of treaty violations by the Iuq_nuHcnwef'kjcbaygqwtt in the BbBbBqr& 'hrAwnk sector.

Rex Stone, a senior CIA operative who'd faced danger on a hundred foreign continents and wore his years with the agency on his face like an old hankie, strode briskly into the office of the President, who at that time was a small green parakeet named Alphonse, and who needed fresh newspaper, right away.

Percival's mind often wandered as he worked, and he would think endlessly, thinking about thinking, thinking about thinking about thoughts about thinking, and thoughts thereupon thunk, until in his reverie he fell from the mizzen mast into the briny depths of the great sea and was never heard from again, which is why this story does not involve him.

"'"'They'd cried "No!"' Arthur said," was what Leslie intoned', muttered Max, to no one in particular," Henry recounted.

Jerome's life was particularly dull at that time, and showed no prospect of improvement in the near future, so you might as well hop ahead to page 53 so you won't be bored out of your skull.

He walked into the place, looking at the stuff the guy had given him, comparing it to the things at the other place, and his face erupted in a big expression.

Her face faced his face, because they were face-to-face, their faces facing one another's faced faces, and then his head exploded.

It was many years before Timmy realized how much growing up he'd done that day, when he'd said goodbye to his cherished pet and closest companion, the best buddy who'd been with him as he romped through sundrenched meadows and splashed through babbling forest brooks in the great woods behind Grandma's cottage, sharing her gingerbread cookies hot from the oven and fragrant pies left to cool in country breezes; only old Doctor Burrows could separate the two, and Timmy had emptied the specimen jar containing his beloved tapeworm Ralph into the great brass commode with a tear in his eye. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2473654/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2473654/ Thu, 20 May 2004 22:33:51 PDT ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2462412/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2462412/ Wed, 19 May 2004 11:56:37 PDT A rolling stone plays the guitar.
The grass is always greener when you remember to water it.
A bird in the hand is a real mess.
No news is no newspaper.
It's always darkest just before I open my eyes.
If you can't stand the heat, don't start the fireplace.
Never put off till tomorrow what you should have done yesterday.
A penny saved is nothing in the real world.
The squeaking wheel gets annoying.
We have nothing to fear but our principle.
To err is human. To eat a muskrat is not.
I think, therefore I get a headache.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and someone yells, "Shut up!"
Better to light a candle than to light an explosive.
It's always darkest before 9:30 p.m.
Early to bed and early to rise is first in the bathroom.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a blister.
There is nothing new under the bed.
Don't count your chickens - it takes too long. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2450277/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2450277/ Mon, 17 May 2004 17:51:27 PDT
Bah. Humbug. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2431072/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2431072/ Fri, 14 May 2004 22:21:35 PDT Woohoo!!!

We had opening night for the play tonight! Me, , , and were in it...funstuff.
I thought it went really well...except for the part where a few of the actors got locked outside the theatre...they had to stand there until someone let them in while the other people covered for them. But hey, it's opening night; something like that has to happen!

*sigh*Another performance tomorrow...and three more next weekend. Thanks to , and for coming to see it!

Oh, by the way, any of you people who live around here need to go see the other performances. Do it. Do it. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2403100/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2403100/ Mon, 10 May 2004 21:57:21 PDT Caliban at Sunset
by P.G. Wodehouse

I stood with a man
Watching the sun go down.
The air was full of murmurous summer scents
And a brave breeze sang like a bugle
From a sky that smouldered in the west,
A sky of crimson, amethyst, gold and sepia
And blue as blue were the eyes of Helen
When she sat
Gazing from some high tower in Ilium
Upon the Grecian tents darkling below.
And he,
This man who stood beside me,
Gaped like some dull, half-witted animal
And said,
"I say,
Doesn't that sunset remind you
Of a slice
Of underdone roast beef?" ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2382835/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2382835/ Sat, 08 May 2004 00:14:46 PDT
Here's a motivational thingy that I rather liked:

"For every minute you are sad, you lose sixty seconds of happiness"

And a sad look at the jusdicial system of today:

"Here in America, murderers are innocent until proven insane."

]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2371317/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2371317/ Thu, 06 May 2004 11:41:47 PDT Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe)
50
Miami residents turn on the heat
40
You can see your breath
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans go swimming
35
Italian cars don't start
32
Water freezes
30
You plan your vacation to Australia
Minnesotans put on T-shirts
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
British cars don't start
Your boogers freeze
25
Boston water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Minnesotans eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming
20
You can hear your breath
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes
Miami residents plan vacation further South
15
French cars don't start
You plan a vacation in Mexico
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
10
Too cold to ski
You need jumper cables to get the car going
5
You plan your vacation in Houston
American cars don't start
0
Alaskans put on T-shirts
Too cold to skate
-10
German cars don't start
Eyes freeze shut when you blink
-15
You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
Miami residents cease to exist
-20
Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
Politicians actually do something about the homeless
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
Japanese cars don't start
-25
Too cold to think
You need jumper cables to get the driver going
-30
You plan a two week hot bath
The Mighty Monongahela freezes
Swedish cars don't start
-40
Californians disappear
Minnesotans button top button
Canadians put on sweaters
Your car helps you plan your trip South
-50
Congressional hot air freeze
Alaskans close the bathroom window
-80
Hell freezes over
Polar bears move south ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2354654/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2354654/ Mon, 03 May 2004 21:07:39 PDT
Mr. Thomas Jefferson

We have read your "Declaration of Independence" with great interest. Certainly, it represents a considerable undertaking, and many of your statements do merit serious consideration. Unfortunately, the Declaration as a whole fails to meet recently adopted specifications for proposals to the Crown, so we must return the document to you for further refinement. The questions which follow might assist you in your process of revision:

In your opening paragraph you use the phrase "the Laws of Nature and Nature's God." What are these laws? In what way are they the criteria on which you base your central arguments? Please document with citations from the recent literature.
In the same paragraph you refer to the "opinions of mankind." Whose polling data are you using? Without specific evidence, it seems to us the "opinions of mankind" are a matter of opinion.
You hold certain truths to be "self-evident." Could you please elaborate. If they are as evident as you claim then it should not be difficult for you to locate the appropriate supporting statistics.
"Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" seem to be the goals of your proposal. These are not measurable goals. If you were to say that "among these is the ability to sustain an average life expectancy in six of the 13 colonies of at last 55 years, and to enable newspapers in the colonies to print news without outside interference, and to raise the average income of the colonists by 10 percent in the next 10 years," these could be measurable goals. Please clarify.
You state that "Whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute a new Government...." Have you weighed this assertion against all the alternatives? What are the trade-off considerations?
Your description of the existing situation is quite extensive. Such a long list of grievances should precede the statement of goals, not follow it. Your problem statement needs improvement.
Your strategy for achieving your goal is not developed at all. You state that the colonies "ought to be Free and Independent States," and that they are "Absolved from All Allegiance to the British Crown." Who or what must change to achieve this objective? In what way must they change? What specific steps will you take to overcome the resistance? How long will it take? We have found that a little foresight in these areas helps to prevent careless errors later on. How cost-effective are your strategies?
Who among the list of signatories will be responsible for implementing your strategy? Who conceived it? Who provided the theoretical research? Who will constitute the advisory committee? Please submit an organization chart and vitas of the principal investigators.
You must include an evaluation design. We have been requiring this since Queen Anne's War.
What impact will your problem have? Your failure to include any assessment of this inspires little confidence in the long-range prospects of your undertaking.
Please submit a PERT diagram, an activity chart, itemized budget, and manpower utilization matrix.
We hope that these comments prove useful in revising your "Declaration of Independence." We welcome the submission of your revised proposal. Our due date for unsolicited proposals is July 31, 1776. Ten copies with original signatures will be required.

Sincerely,
Management Analyst to the British Crown ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2327397/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2327397/ Thu, 29 Apr 2004 21:59:46 PDT To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try at all is to risk failure.


But risk we must.
Because the greatest hazard to life is to risk nothing.
The man who risks nothing does nothing... has nothing.... is nothing.....
He may avoid suffering but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love or live.
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.
He has fortified freedom.
Only the person who risks can be called free. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2313352/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2313352/ Tue, 27 Apr 2004 21:58:16 PDT ---------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------

As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.
I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.
My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.
I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.
I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.
The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.
All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and disgusting parts.
Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.
I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.
Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."
False hope is nicer than no hope at all. A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.
Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?
I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step--blaming my parents. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2283787/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2283787/ Fri, 23 Apr 2004 17:25:48 PDT Printer's Error

by P.G. Wodehouse

As o'er my latest book I pored,
Enjoying it immensely,
I suddenly exclaimed 'Good Lord!'
And gripped the volume tensely.
Golly!' I cried. I writhed in pain.
'They've done it on me once again!'
And furrows creased my brow.
I'd written (which I thought quite good)
'Ruth, ripening into womanhood,
Was now a girl who knocked men flat
And frequently got whistled at',
And some vile, careless, casual gook
Had spoiled the best thing in the book
By printing 'not'
(Yes,'not', great Scott!)
When I had written 'now'.

On murder in the first degree
The Law, I knew, is rigid:
Its attitude, if A kills B,
To A is always frigid.
It counts it not a trivial slip
If on behalf of authorship
You liquidate compositors.
This kind of conduct it abhors
And seldom will allow.
Nevertheless, I deemed it best
And in the public interest
To buy a gun, to oil it well,
Inserting what is called a shell,
And go and pot
With sudden shot
This printer who had printed 'not'
When I had written 'now'.

I tracked the bounder to his den
Through private information:
I said, 'Good afternoon', and then
Explained the situation:
'I'm not a fussy man,' I said.
'I smile when you put "rid" for "red"
And "bad" for "bed" and "hoad" for "head"
And "bolge" instead of "bough".
When "wone" appears in lieu of "wine"
Or if you alter "Cohn" to "Schine",
I never make a row.
I know how easy errors are.
But this time you have gone too far
By printing "not" when you knew what
I really wrote was "now".
Prepare,' I said, 'to meet your God
Or, as you'd say, your Goo or Bod,
Or possibly your Gow.'

A few weeks later into court
I came to stand my trial.
The Judge was quite a decent sort.
He said, 'Well, cocky, I'll
Be passing sentence in a jiff,
And so, my poor unhappy stiff,
If you have anything to say,
Now is the moment. Fire away.
You have?'
I said, 'And how!
Me lud, the facts I don't dispute.
I did, I own it freely, shoot
This printer through the collar stud.
What else could I have done, me lud?
He'd printed "not"...'
The judge said, 'What!
When you had written "now"?
God bless my soul! Gadzooks!' said he.
'The blighters did that once to me.
A dirty trick, I trow.
I hereby quash and override
The jury's verdict. Gosh!' he cried.
'Give me your hand. Yes, I insist,
You splendid fellow! Case dismissed.'
(Cheers, and a Voice 'Wow-wow!')

A statue stands against the sky,
Lifelike and rather pretty.
'Twas recently erected by
The P.E.N. committee.
And many a passer-by is stirred,
For on the plinth, if that's the word,
In golden letters you may read
'This is the man who did the deed.
His hand set to the plough,
He did not sheathe the sword, but got
A gun at great expense and shot
The human blot who'd printed "not"
When he had written "now".
He acted with no thought of self,
Not for advancement, not for pelf,
But just because it made him hot
To think the man had printed "not"
When he had written "now".' ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2258270/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2258270/ Mon, 19 Apr 2004 18:32:20 PDT str1d3r's journal:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

"Mirrors had led to one of the Church's innumerable schisms, one side saying that since they encouraged vanity they were bad, and the other saying that since they reflected the goodness of Om they were holy."

Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2246439/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2246439/ Sun, 18 Apr 2004 02:03:46 PDT Matazone! ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2224756/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2224756/ Wed, 14 Apr 2004 18:30:44 PDT


































I'm not sure about a couple of these, but I'm pretty sure their all new within like the last week or so... ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2224705/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2224705/ Wed, 14 Apr 2004 18:25:23 PDT


































I'm not sure about a couple of these, but I'm pretty sure their all new within like the last week or so... ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2221371/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2221371/ Wed, 14 Apr 2004 11:00:34 PDT
"Why?" you ask? Five separate times within the last two days, I have tried to log on to the school computers and my email using my DA password and screenname.

Oy vey... ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2206905/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2206905/ Mon, 12 Apr 2004 11:52:48 PDT Gah!!
Why does everyone automatically assume that I'm using Photoshop? I don't even have Photoshop, for crying out loud!

It's Paintshop Pro... ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2195109/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2195109/ Sat, 10 Apr 2004 19:35:02 PDT 's journal...

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4, Write down what it says:

...rubbed his neck irritably and looked around for his...

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?

Mah 'puter.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

ummm....I think it was...Tom and Jerry...

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is:

7:15 PM

5: Now look at the clock; what is the actual time?

7:15 PM, man I'm good

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My ceiling fan. My cat meowing mournfully because my little brother is outside and he isn't.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

Just maybe 30 mins ago. I was trying to get my cat Sam back in the house.

8. Before you came to this Web site, what did you look at?

PenguinFollowers!

9. What are you wearing?

Black boot-type shoes, white socks, black jeans with a rip in the bottom of the right leg, light blue underwear, a black t-shirt with "Normal people scare me" on it, a watch, and a spiffy cross necklace made out of flattened nails.

10. Did you dream last night?

Yeah...don't remember it though...

11. When did you last laugh?

Some jokes last night...

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

A really old world map (it still has the U.S.S.R. on it), a U.S. map, a rack with medals on it, a mirror...

13: Seen anything weird lately?

My cat. He's an odd one, all right...

14: What is the last film you saw?

Erm...Forrest Gump?

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?

A grand piano.

17: Tell me something about you that I don't know.

No. I refuse!

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Well, the planet's biosphere has basically been shot to Hell, so I guess I'd fix that up.

19: Do you like to dance?

It depends who can see me....

20: George Bush: is he really doing Dick Cheney?

Buh?

21a: Imagine your first child is a girl. What do you call her?

Ailynn...

21b: Imagine your first child is a boy. What do you call him?

Richard

22: Would you ever consider living abroad?

I've never given it much thought, but if I had to, I think I'd go to England or something... ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2171087/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2171087/ Wed, 07 Apr 2004 11:01:10 PDT MY WHOLE FRIGGIN FACE IS NUMB!!
Oh well... ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2138770/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2138770/ Fri, 02 Apr 2004 17:00:45 PST I have just discovered the greatest webcomic of all time...It's Walky!
[link]

WIIGII!! ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2129281/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2129281/ Thu, 01 Apr 2004 10:45:07 PST I love April Fools day....

~ShaeAetherius and ~agent-bayne both have English 5th period, so they are going to switch their classes. By "switch" I mean that ~agent-bayne's entire class will go to ~ShaeAetherius 's English class and vice versa.

We shall see what comes of it. ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2115311/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2115311/ Tue, 30 Mar 2004 11:42:21 PST We hates it...we HATESSSS it, precioussss.......

Stupid tech lab...the only graphics programs we have are the macromedia stuff, and it's all VECTOR editing....

No, of course we wouldn't have photoshop....why would we want to edit bitmaps?

]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2090537/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2090537/ Fri, 26 Mar 2004 17:03:24 PST
Hi lupiskwid,
Your 34 deviations were viewed 779 times, with 2,290 fullsize views.
Overall, people left 161 comments and added your deviations to their favourites 16 times.
Your most commented deviation was Elemental Music - Fire with 14 comments, while your most favourited one was Elemental Music - Air with 4 favourites.
Average comments per deviation: 4.73
Average favourites per deviation: 0.47
1 Favourites were given for every 10 Comments
Every 7 days you upload a new deviation, and you uploaded 26% (9) of your deviations on Wednesdays, while your favorite time of the day during the week to upload is at 9 PM with 7 deviations.
Your busiest month was October 2003 with 10 (29%) deviations.


Stats provided by ~micahgoulart @ Ingenial.com [link] ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2075540/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2075540/ Wed, 24 Mar 2004 12:21:06 PST
Yeah...*sniffle* head colds suck. Or do they blow?

Eh...it's all just differential pressure anyway.... ]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2050296/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2050296/ Sat, 20 Mar 2004 16:05:40 PST *gasp*
*general amazement*

Well, w00tw00tw00t.
1000 PAGEVIEWS!!!!!!!

]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2036361/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/2036361/ Thu, 18 Mar 2004 11:24:47 PST

Yeah, I know it's a day late, but what the heck.

My Adoptees

]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/1959100/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/1959100/ Fri, 05 Mar 2004 20:12:20 PST Yeah...we choir geeks are kinda weird...me, Jake, and Lillian got into an argument as to whether or not cheese could molt...um. Yeah.

Anyway, I had fun...I missed Shae to pieces, so she might want to break out the superglue...

Alrighty, that's about it...

My Adoptees

]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/1944019/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/1944019/ Wed, 03 Mar 2004 08:30:09 PST My choir got invited to sing at the ACDA convention and it should be a lot of fun!


Well...I'll see you guys on Saturday....

My Adoptees

]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/1905634/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/1905634/ Wed, 25 Feb 2004 23:46:17 PST
The drama club is putting on Arsenic and Old Lace; I'm playing Reverend Harper. Ummm....I GET TO GO TO EUROPE IN JULY!!!!!! Hooray!

Yeah... that's about it...

Here are some cool deviants; check them out!

]]> ~lupiskwid http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/1817503/ http://lupiskwid.deviantart.com/journal/1817503/ Mon, 09 Feb 2004 10:40:00 PST
Fortunately, I may be getting a new one! Yay! ]]> ~lupiskwid