http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:mandy-chan-luvs-toya&section=today deviantART RSS for by:mandy-chan-luvs-toya en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 03:20:15 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/26132905/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/26132905/ Thu, 23 Jul 2009 15:22:47 PDT
]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25981232/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25981232/ Thu, 16 Jul 2009 09:06:41 PDT
]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25592710/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25592710/ Sat, 27 Jun 2009 18:37:20 PDT I wanna be everything your man's not
And I'm gonna give you
every little thing I've got
Cause you are more than a man needs
That's why I say you're truly my destiny
I'm gonna get cha
If it takes me until forever
No you don't feel me
if forever turns into never
I'll let you know my love
is just as strong
And for you never just ain't that long (ohh TK)


I wanna be the smile
you put on your face(oh yes)
I wanna be your hands
when you say your grace (say it baby)
I wanna be whatever
is your favorite place,(girl)oh
I just wanna be close (close to you)
I wanna be the hat you put on your head (can i be)
I wanna be the sheets
you put on your bed (your everything ya)
I wanna be the skirt
wrapped around your legs (girl)
Oh, I just wanna be close ( i said i wanna be)


And even if the day turns into night
I will love you by candlelight
And even if the water starts to run over
I'll be there to put you on my shoulders (oh ya)
And if it's hard for you to get to sleep
I will sing you a melody,(yes i will)
I wanna feel this way
Till the end of time, cause I pray one day
That you will be mine


I wanna be the smile
you put on your face (your smile)
I wanna be your hands
when you say your grace (can i be girl,can i be)
I wanna be whatever
is your favorite place,(close to you babe)oh
I just wanna be close
I wanna be the hat you put on your head (can i cover you)
I wanna be the sheets
you put on your bed (can i rap my love around you)
I wanna be the skirt
wrapped around your legs(ya)
Oh, I just wanna be close (i wanna be close)


See my life's filled with up and downs
I'm ok when you're around
And when I'm in a storm
and my nights are cold
Reach out your hands for me to hold(for me to hold)
See you're my queen on a throne
and you're the reason
For a song (this song) and I can't wait (cant wait)
to fill you up with love (fill you up with love)
Fill you with love


I wanna be the sun,
your stars, and your moon
I wanna be a hot summer day in June
I wanna be the smell
of your sweet perfume
I just wanna be close
I wanna be the seed
That bare ya life brand new
I wanna be the one
that's so faithful and true
I wanna be the man down that aisle
in that suit, yes
I just wanna be close

Avant~

]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25401692/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25401692/ Thu, 18 Jun 2009 18:50:43 PDT i just want eternal rest
i don't know where i belong
why i'm always wrong
can't do anything right
i wanna give up the fight
all i'm doing is hiding my tears
i'm locking up my fears
don't want you to worry
don't want your vision to be blurry
i don't know what is wrong with me
i just can't seem to see
i feel like a fucked up mess
my life just has so much stress
i can't seem to help at all
i can't even break my own fall
should i just disappear
i see no reflection in the mirror
i just melt into the bed
trying to process what was said
am i doing the right thing
trying to fly with a broken wing

]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25375703/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25375703/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 15:03:27 PDT I just want to get it over with
tears from behind my eyes
but I do not cry
Counting the days that past me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Looks like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and I say

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Ohhh yeah
It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time
I want whats yours and I want whats mine
I want you but I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

We the stars fall and I lie awake
Your my shooting star


~Michelle Branch~

]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25259617/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25259617/ Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:45:33 PDT ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25165450/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25165450/ Sat, 06 Jun 2009 16:59:18 PDT




If you had my love
And I gave you all my trust
Would you comfort me
And if somehow you knew that your love would be untrue
Would you lie to me
And call me baby

Now if I gave you me, this is how it's got to be
First of all I won't take you cheatin' on me
Tell me who can I trust if I can't trust in you And I refuse to let you play me for a fool
You said that we could possibly spend eternity
See that's what you told me that's what you said
But if you want me
You have to be fulfilling all my dreams
If you really want me babe

If you had my love
And I gave you all my trust
Would you comfort me
And if somehow you knew that your love would be untrue
Would you lie to me
And call me baby

You said you want my love and you've got to have it all
But first there are some things you need to know
If you want to live
With all I have to give
I need to feel true love
Or it's got to end, yeah
I don't want you
Trying to get with me
And I end up unhappy
Don't need the hurt and I don't need the pain
So before I do
Give myself to you
I have to know the truth
If I spend my life with you

If you had my love
And I gave you all my trust
Would you comfort me
And if somehow you knew that your love would be untrue
Would you lie to me
And call me baby

If you had my love
And I gave you all my trust
Would you comfort me
And if somehow you knew that your love would be untrue
Would you lie to me
And call me baby

If you had my love
And I gave you all my trust
Would you comfort me
And if somehow you knew that your love would be untrue
Would you lie to me
And call me baby

If you had my love
And I gave you all my trust
Would you comfort me

]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25130614/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25130614/ Thu, 04 Jun 2009 18:10:47 PDT do i have a heart
anything to give
a reason left to live
walking an empty plane
feeling nothing buy icy rain
can't do anything right
nothing within sight
just wanna run away
but wanting a reason to stay

taking the path that you can't see is the hardest thing to do in life

]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25062031/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/25062031/ Mon, 01 Jun 2009 01:09:23 PDT
letting myself let these realizations actually sink in is like being hit with thousands of knives and being to scared to even move.i find myself looking for how to fix the everything that i do wrong. it sucks when you cant seem to do anything right no matter how much of yourself you pour into it. there are moments where i just wish that some higher power than me would just remove me from this world. my paranoia seems to get the better of me a lot recently. i find myself scared to know what is really in the dark and what it wants from me. i don't know where to go and what choice to make knowing all the while that no matter what i choose it will be wrong all the same. i haven't been able to see the path in front of me for a long time now. not knowing what is ahead of me makes me fear getting hurt along my travel down these darkened paths. all i want is a light to shine and to know that it shines for me. i need that one thing that i know needs me as well. because with out me why would the light shine for me to find it. i don't know down which road i need to go and what i need to do to get my light to shine for me so i can find it. are all of my imperfections to much that i will never be able to find my light? just the thought of there even maybe being a light some where for me keeps me going...struggling on hoping that my light will shine and except me and wrap me up with it's warm loving embrace.

]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/24944448/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/24944448/ Mon, 25 May 2009 14:20:15 PDT
]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/24723024/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/24723024/ Tue, 12 May 2009 15:25:13 PDT other than be here
i was never given another choice
only given another tear
i can only give up all of me
my life, my heart, my soul
please just stay with me
i have no hidden goal

watch the sun rise
watch the sun set
the moon is in the sky
and my heart is left bereft




staring at the ceiling
waiting for my heart to start beating
wanting to feel again
hoping my heart will mend

my mind is a mess
just trying to get away from this stress

]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/24577930/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/24577930/ Mon, 04 May 2009 04:37:40 PDT
]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/24293993/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/24293993/ Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:11:15 PDT



: ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/24131664/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/24131664/ Wed, 08 Apr 2009 15:11:58 PDT



I would die for you
I would die for you
I've been dying just to feel you by my side
To know that you're mine

I will cry for you
I will cry for you
I will wash away your pain with all my tears
And drown your fear

I will pray for you
I will pray for you
I will sell my soul for something pure and true
Someone like you

See your face every place that I walk in
Hear your voice every time I am talking

I will burn for you
Feel pain for you
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart
And tear it apart

I will lie for you
Beg and steal for you
I will crawl on hands and knees until you see
You're just like me

I would die for you
I would kill for you
I will steal for you
I'd do time for you
I would wait for you
I'd make room for you
I'd sail ships for you
To be close to you
To be a part of you
'Cause I believe in you
I believe in you
I would die for you

Garbage...

]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/23993152/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/23993152/ Tue, 31 Mar 2009 19:42:20 PDT
nothing comes that easy
nothing comes for free
something comes from nothing if your willing to believe
cuz everything has meaning
everything we see
are you willing to give up everything

---------------pillar-------------

so i got laid off from honda cuz the market is in recession. i miss all of my honda buddies...especially brian, jim, kurt, and rye dog...funny times. i still talk txt to my work mommmy so that is cool and i still txt brian. so i'm job hunting and it isn't going to hot. christine and i are supposed to go to scotts lawn tomorrow to try and get me hooked up cuz low and behold my unemployment got denied at least for now which really sucks...beyond sucks cuz i need to pay rent for my apartment... i do have a roommate which helps but money might be made from trees but it sure as hell doesn't grow on them. lol.

emotionally i'm still not better but i'm in a better place and on a much higher level than i ever was before. yay for me!

i saw motley crue, sixx am, papa roach, buckcherry, and trapt in a concert last year...it's been that long since i have updated...ouch. i also saw panic at the disco twice last year once in their home town of las vegas. my amiga sarah moved out there and i went to visit and see her and we saw panic when i was out there. lol now she lives in arkansas. should rhyme with applesauce if you ask me. that would be much more entertaining. i never really see or talk to anyone anymore and i really miss it. as much of a misanthrope as i am i still miss my friends.

grrr my dryer is broke and needs a new heat element.

there is a new puppy living with me lol it is my roommates but i take care of it when he works. it is a bloodhound and her name is izzy...izzilish is what i like to call her... i have a huge hound dog craze so it all works...

well i'll chit at you guys later lol

con mucho carino
mandy

]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/17314671/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/17314671/ Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:26:00 PDT
]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/12196257/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/12196257/ Thu, 15 Mar 2007 16:23:24 PDT
luv ya all so much
mandy~

]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/10308031/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/10308031/ Fri, 06 Oct 2006 20:11:45 PDT
x] I know how to make a pot of coffee (But will i ever? NO!)
[x ] I do my own laundry
[x] I can cook for myself
[] I always do my homework/work
[x] I actually enjoy intellectual conversations
[x] I think politics are exciting
[] My parents and grand-parents have better things to say than my peers
total: 5

[x] I show up for school/work every day unless I'm sick
[x] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse
[ ] I've never gotten a detention
[ ] I've watched talk shows to point out the credibility of it all
[x] I know what credibility means without looking it up
[x]I drink coffee at least once a week (COFFEE EVIL!
total: 4


[x] I know how to run the dish washer and/or do the dishes
[x ] I can count to 10 in spanish(technically i can like count into millions but shhhhh)
[x] When I say I'm going to do something I do it
[x ] I can mow the lawn
[x] I can wash a car
[x] I can make adults laugh... without being stupid
[x] I remember to water my plants
[] I study when I have to
[] I pay attention at school/work
[x ] I remember to feed my pets
total: 8

[x] I can spell experience without looking it up
[x] I clean up my own mess
[] The first thing I do when I wake up is get coffee
[x] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need
[x] I understand jokes the first time they are said-most of the time
[x] I listen to my elders
[x] I can type fast
total: 6

[x] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[x] I can look at someone hot without thinking of sex
[] I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job (this is wrong i am taken very seriously by a lot of people)
[x] I can read a book and actually finish it
[x] People have said that I act older than I am
total: 4

]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/9888273/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/9888273/ Mon, 28 Aug 2006 18:27:05 PDT 2) consumed alcohol: Yes
3) slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex: no
4) slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex: Yes
5) made out with someone of the opposite sex: Yes
6) made out with someone of the same sex: No
7) had someone in your room of the opposite sex: Yes
8) watched porn: Yes
9) bought porn: No...but is was sitting in the parking lot while someone did.
10) done drugs: No
Total: 6

11) taken pain killers: Yes
12) taken someone elses prescription medicine: Yes
13) lied to your parents: Yes
14) lied to a friend: No
15) snuck out of the house: Yes
16) done something illegal: Yes
17) cut yourself: Yes
18) hurt someone: Yes
19) wished someone to die: Yes
20) seen someone die: No
TOTAL: 8

21) missed curfew: Yes
22) stayed out all night: Yes
23) eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself: No
24) been to a therapist: Yes
25) been to rehab: No
26) dyed your hair: yes
27) recieved a ticket: ??????
28) been in a wreck: yes
29) been to a club: Yes
TOTAL: 6

31) been to a wild party: Yes
32) seen the Mardi Gras: nope... but been to new orleans
34) had a summer break in Florida: No
35) sniffed anything: Yes
36) wore black nail polish: Yes
37) wore arm bands: Yes
38) wore t-shirts with band names: Yes
39) listened to rap: yes
40) own a 50 cent cd: Yes
TOTAL: 7

41) dressed gothic: Yes
42) dressed prep: Yes
43) dressed punk: Yes
44) dressed grunge: Yes
45) stole something: Yes
46) been too drunk to remember anything: yes
47) blacked out: yes
48) fainted: Yes
49) had a crush on your neighbor: yes
50) had someone sneak into your room: yes
TOTAL: 10

51) snuck into someone else's room: Yes
52) had a crush on someone of the same sex: No
53) been to a concert: Yes
54) dry humped someone: no
55) been called a slut: Yes
56) called someone a slut: Yes
57) installed speakers in your car: No
58) broke a mirror: Yes
59) showered at someone of the opposites sex's house: Yes
60) brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush: no
TOTAL: 6

61) consider ludacris your favorite rapper: yes
62) seen an R rated movie in theaters: Yes
63) cruised the mall: Yes
64) skipped school: Yes
65) had an eating disorder: no not yet
66) had an injury: Yes
67) gone to court: yes
68) walked out of a resteraunt without paying: No
69) caught something on fire: Yes...myself
70) lied about your age: Yes...ummm on a regular basis
TOTAL: 8

71) owned an apartment: No
72) cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend: No
73) been cheated on: no
74) got in trouble with the police: kindsa
75) talked to a stranger: Yes
76) hugged a stranger: Yes
77) kissed a stranger: Yes
78) rode in the car with a stranger: yes
79) been sexually harrassed: Yes
80) been verbally harrassed: Yes
TOTAL: 7

81) met face to face with someone you met online: No
82) stayed online for 12 hours straight: Yes
83) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight: Yes
84) watched tv for 12 hours straight: Yes
85) been to a fair: Yes
86) been called a bad influence: Yes
87) cursed: Yes
88) prank called someone: Yes...i meet a lot of people that way.
89) laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex: Yes
90) cheated on a test: Yes
TOTAL: 9

91) cheated on homework: Yes
92) recieved/given a handjob: Yes
93) been pushed into a pool: Yes
94) played pool: Yes
95) watched 5 hours of mtv straight: yes
96) had a crush on someone 10 years older then you: Yes, Johnny Deep...this one must remain the same and there is another but i won't tell.
97) had a crush on someone younger: Yes
98) wear eyeliner: Yes
99) skinny dipped: yes....i didn't have a swimsuit and it was a pool in my lil sis back yard and she did it too.
100) laughed at someone who was seriously hurt: Yes
TOTAL: 10

TOTAL: 77...i think i am going to meet hitler though...i am a horrid person.

0-10= Girly
10-15= Preppy
15-24= A little cool..
25-30= Cool
31-50= Bad Ass
61-70= Rock Star
71-80= Badder Then Bad Ass
81-90= Must Be Italian
91-100= Going to meet Hitler ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/9354817/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/9354817/ Wed, 12 Jul 2006 13:36:04 PDT ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/9154287/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/9154287/ Thu, 22 Jun 2006 23:59:11 PDT Am I crazy?-
Am I lovable?-
Am I funny?-
Am I ugly?-
Am I psycho?-
Am I annoying?-
Am I a good person?-

2)******Would You******
Hug me?-
Miss me if i was gone?-
Listen to my problems?-
Hug me if i cried?-
Be a good friend?-

3)******If You Could...******
Give me a new name it would be?-
Do one thing with me it would be?-
Drop me one piece of advice it would be?-

4)******Just A Few Questions******
What do you like about me?-
What do you hate about me?-
What is my best quality?-

1. Who are you?-
2. Are we good friends?-
3. Do we know each other in real life?-
4. Am I hot?-
5. Is my avatar hot? (all shall love toya...because i damn well say it shall be) -
6. Will you put this in your journal so I can answer these questions about you?-


at a later date i will update peoples as to my move, new cell and number, run in with the cops, and if you really want the juicy my relationship or lack thereof with my mom. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/8662982/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/8662982/ Wed, 03 May 2006 14:20:39 PDT 2) Consumed alcohol - x
3) Slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex - x sleepovers
4) Slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex -
5) Made out with someone of the opposite sex -
6) Made out with someone of the same sex -
7) Had someone in your room of the opposite sex - x
8) Watched porn -
9) Bought porn -
10) Done drugs -
TOTAL: 4

11) Taken pain killers - x
12) Taken someone else's prescription medicine -x
13) Lied to your parents -x
14) Lied to a friend - x
15) Snuck out of the house - x
16) Done something illegal - x
17) Cut yourself - x
18) Hurt someone - x blacked a girls eye
19) Wished someone to die - x
20) Seen someone die -
TOTAL: 8

21) Missed curfew -x
22) Stayed out all night - x
23) Eaten a carton of icecream by yourself -
24) Been to a therapist - x
25) Been to rehab -
26) Dyed your hair - x
27) Recieved a ticket - x
28) Been in a car wreck - x
29) Been to a club - x
30) Been to a bar -x
TOTAL: 8

31) Been to a wild party -x
32) Seen the Mardi Gras -
34) Had a spring break in Florida -
35) Sniffed anything -
36) Wore black nail polish-x
37) Wore arm bands - x
38) Wore t-shirts with band names -x
39) Listened to rap - x
40) Own a 50 cent cd -
TOTAL: 5

41) Dressed gothic -x
42) Dressed prep -x
43) Dressed punk -x
44) Dressed grunge -
45) Stole something - x
46) Been too drunk to remember anything -x if not remembering like an hour period counts
47) Blacked out -
48) Fainted -
49) Had a crush on your neighbor -
50) Had someone sneak into your room -x but you don't know this
TOTAL: 6

51) Snuck into some one else's room - x
52) Had a crush on someone of the same sex -
53) Been to a concert -
54) Dry humped someone -
55) Been called a slut - x my friends do it all the time
56) Called someone a slut - x
57) Installed speakers in your car -
58) Broke a mirror - x
59) Showered at someone of the opposites sex's house -x like 6 months ago...don't even ask
60) Brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush -
TOTAL: 5

61) Consider ludacris your favorite rapper -
62) Seen an R rated movie in theaters - x
63) Cruised the mall - x
64) Skipped school -
65) Had an eating disorder -
66) Had an injury - x
67) Gone to court - x
68) Walked out of a resteraunt without paying -
69) Caught something on fire - x
70) Lied about your age - x um actually i do it all the time when people talk to me after i dial wrong numbers on the phone
TOTAL: 6

71) Owned an apartment -
72) Cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend -
73) Cheated with someone -
74) Got in trouble with the police -
75) Talked to a stranger - x
76) Hugged a stranger -x
77) Kissed a stranger -
78) Rode in the car with a stranger - x
79) Been sexually harrassed - x
80) Been verbally harrassed - x
TOTAL: 5

81) Met face to face with someone you met online -
82) Stayed online for 12 hours straight - x
83) Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours straight - x um a certain jason and some other people should know bout this...right?
84) Watched tv for 12 hours straight - x if movies count
85) Been to a fair - x
86) Been called a bad influence - x
87) Cursed - x
88) Prank called someone - x ha! this is what i do all the time
89) Laid in the bed with someone of the opposite sex - x
90) Cheated on a test -
TOTAL: 8

91) Cheated on homework - x
92) Held hands with someone of the opposite sex - x
93) Been pushed into a pool -x
94) Played pool - x
95) Watched 5 hours of mtv straight - x
96) Had a crush on someone 10 years older than you - x um don't ask unless you know
97) Had a crush on someone younger than you - x
98) Wear eyeliner -x
99) Skinny dipped - x but shhh i just didn't have a swim suit and it was in my lil sis backyard pool
100) Laughed at someone who was seriously hurt - x
TOTAL:10

overall total:65...is this supposed to mean something? ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/8169854/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/8169854/ Wed, 15 Mar 2006 15:07:52 PST
buh bye. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7873961/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7873961/ Sun, 12 Feb 2006 13:10:38 PST ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7809069/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7809069/ Sun, 05 Feb 2006 12:40:11 PST sayanara. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7573569/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7573569/ Wed, 11 Jan 2006 12:24:39 PST ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7506609/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7506609/ Wed, 04 Jan 2006 09:15:35 PST
1.) When showering, do you start the water and then get in or get in and start the water?
Water first then get in, otherwise the water would be cold

2.) Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle?
Not imparticularly

3.) Do you moan in the shower like the people on the herbal essence commercial? I think not.

4.) Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?
yeah right, sure...you just know that is what you wanna hear...please note sarcasim

5.) Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings?
i have none so you tell me?

6.) Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
noperoos

7.) Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?
i have not a clue

8.) How old do you look?
??? i would assume 17


9.) How old do you act?
that is a really good question. and if you know me i give you full permission to answer

10.) What's the last song you sang?
Get Stoned by Hinder

11.) Have you recently become a member of anything?
the void in my brain, so in other words...no


12.) What are your plans for the weekend?
Have we ever heard of the word homework

13.) Do you kiss with your eyes opened or closed?
and i am supposed to know this how?


14.) Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull?
ha! that will be the day

15.) Do you ever intentionally vomit after eating?
No


16.) If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be?
The one who kills all the people...whoever that is...at least i know someone who would say that about me.

17.) Have you ever called anyone a slut?
As a joke...

18) Have you ever been called a slut?
hmm yes but in a completely joking manner, cuz lets face it, me a slut?

19). Have you ever smuggled something into America?
we will find out when i go to spain

20). Does playing the guitar make a girl/guy more attractive?
oh i totally love guitars so it could be possible

21). Do you live in a city with a good sports team?
most definetly...go buckeyes!!!!ya won the fiesta bowl, oh yeah, mandy got a happy off of that...and if you are being perverted get your mind outta the gutter!!!!!!

22). Have you ever finished off the popcorn?
ever ate popcorn with me? cuz you would know better than the i

23). How many people do you think would come to your funeral?
how many people love me?

24). How many of them would come just to make sure you're dead?
probably everyone that hates my stinking guts which is probably a lot of people

25). Do you have more enemies or more friends?
hmmm...that is a thinker

26.) Have you ever sent an anonymous letter?
not that i recall

27.) can you fix your own car?
not if i don't own one

28.) Have you ever turned someone down for a date?
nope, never even been asked

29.) Are you smarter than your friends?
most likely, sorry mandy's friends, but it is quite probable

30.) Have you ever stolen anything from your friends?
Nope

31.) Have you ever been to jail?
Nope

32.) Should you have?
when i have decked people in the face, yeah, i started it, so arrest a 5 year old. but other than that who knows, it is a good probablility

33) Do you like the smell of beer?
do i really need to answer that? hell fucking no

34.) Have you ever died or killed someone in a dream?
yes to both

35.) Have you ever given to charity?
i believe so

36.) Would you kill a dog for $1000?
HELL NO i am going to be a vet, i see saving animals, and anyway i can't even dispose of a mouse in a mouse trap b/c i feel bad for it.

37.) Do you sometimes get depressed?
yeah

38.) Do you live with your parents?
my mom, and then my dad on weekends

39.) Do you have plans for your future?
no....duh i do

X MARKS THE SPOT
You are
[ ] short, under 5'4
[x] 5'4 -5'6"
[ ] 5' 6.5''
[] 5'7" - 6'0
[ ] tall 6'1 and up

NATURALLY
[ ]blonde
[ ] redhead
[x] brunette
[x]dirty blonde/brownish
[] dark brown
[ ] black


[ ] blue-eyed
[] brown-eyed
[ ]green-eyed
[ ] hazel-eyed
[ ] gold/gray-eyed
[ ] silver/gray- eyed
[x ] blue/green-eyed
[ x] blue/gray-eyed
[ ] they change colors


[ x]glasses
[ ] contacts
[ ] BOTH.
[] neither
... ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7307465/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7307465/ Wed, 14 Dec 2005 07:50:37 PST
Seven things that scare you:
1. Spiders
2. Mike
3. Snakes
4. Mom's depression
5. My friends getting hurt
6. People who aren't my friends(hehehe)
7. Failing!!!!!

Seven things you like the most:
1. My Dog
2. My family
3. Anime
4. My computer
5. My friends
6. Music
7. Manga

Seven important things in my room:
1. My stereo
2. My tv
3. My puppy rog whose name is sassy
4. My dragon
5. My bed
6. My chair
7. My memorbilia

Seven random facts about you:
1. I like cherries
2. I watch adult swim
3. I must have a glompie in every manga i read
4. I like going on trips for school and missing school completely excused
5. I am currently sleeping on the couch
6. I am selling candy
7. I have discovered that i like to make cookies

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. Vacation more
2. Learn to fly(hehehe)
3. Do something really bad(i don't know why)
4. Get my doctorate
5. Live with someone and not in a dorm
6. Play more video games
7. Create a machine that will make my anime/manga glompies real(hehehe, i claim all innocence)

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex:
1. no clue
2. no attraction
3. unless they are like in manga
4. i like blonde hair though
5. i also like longishy hair
6. oh yeah did i mention i like a guy who has celestial robes and doesn't know it and dies and comes back to life!(*cough Toya cough*)
7. oh i like guys with weapons(hehehe, violence!)

Seven things you say the most:
1. Fucker muffins
2. Like
3. Oreo
4. Fuck!
5. He's a muffin (ah the things muriah and I say)
6. Stupid
7. Me wants to see/read/watch/borrow/a lot of things

Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign):
1. Johnny Depp
2. Orlando Bloom
3. Charlie Hunnam(Abandon, Queer as Folk)
4. Kevin Clark(School of Rock)
5. Toya!!!!!
6. Tatsuya
7. Hasunuma(dammit! not enough room to name all of my crushes!!!!!)

Seven favorite drinks:
1. Capaccuino
2. Some liquor
3. Milk!!!
4. Dr. Pepper
5. Rockstar!!!! (it kicks all ass!)
6. Monster!!! (see above)
7. Sobe

Seven memorable kiddy shows you watched as a kid:
1. Garfield
2. Dirty Dancing, and no it isn't kiddy but i liked it when i was like 6
3. Flintstones
4. Smurfs!!!!
5. Disney movies
6. i don't know
7. same as above

now i get to tag 7 people(it is different so do it!)
*westpenta
~infiniteshadow
~vamp4life
~zeeblee
~caz-divad
~jerichodeathstalker
~thesilverblood
~madamejessica2007 ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7287191/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7287191/ Sun, 11 Dec 2005 21:51:55 PST
If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, please post a comment with a completely made up and fictional memory of you and me. It can be anything you want — good or bad — but it has to be FAKE.

When you’re finished, post this little paragraph in your journal and be surprised (or mortified) about what people don't actually remember about you. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7262254/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7262254/ Fri, 09 Dec 2005 06:11:29 PST
well me, i had 4 people over a week ago today, we had a little party. me made fire, and gasoline bombs, and mychan and christine ran away from me. there was mandy's ritual tribal dances that don't usually occur when it is less than thirty degrees outside. well we made smores, then watched movies and played video games, it was fun, mandy made breakfast(be afraid be very afraid) and none of you know that i did that, and this is the longest run on sentence imaginable.

next topic, i have the act tomorrow, wish me luck.

well not much more to talk about so i will spare you all from everything else. hehehe well let me know on the cookies por favor.

adios amigos, hasta la vista, and other random spanish things,

luvs yall!!!! ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7067809/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/7067809/ Wed, 16 Nov 2005 21:01:38 PST and i was on the radio twice in one night which was fun, i was a guest dj, hehehe!!!!!!!
bye alls! ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6942309/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6942309/ Thu, 03 Nov 2005 07:14:58 PST ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6914137/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6914137/ Mon, 31 Oct 2005 08:43:10 PST
luv y'alls!!!
mandy~chan ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6859354/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6859354/ Mon, 24 Oct 2005 20:59:04 PDT
well it all started when my mom got a bf who will be known as "M" for short. i was in mid 4th grade, homeschooled at the time and everything started out peachy. he was going to do things with us, go places, said he would buy me stuff. well if he wouldn't have promised all this i wouldn't have cared. but he always promised to do stuff and never did. well it wasn't working out and mom told him to get a job and fix stuff and come back if he wanted the relationship. 6 months later he had a job and things looked decent. i didn't really know much of it at the time but he was an alcoholic, and a bad one. he got in some trouble but got out. and it turned out that his sister framed him for arson, he got tricked into pleading, and got charged with it. well he lost his job obviously, he wsa in jail for 7 months and called collect every night. (big phone bill never got paid b/c he didn't get a job till like 5 years later). well when he got out he got probation and a good sized fine. well he never got a job as i said earlier, but he still drank and smoked like a fucking horse. well he went into depression or something and just drank every night more and more. it got really bad for me and mom. i was in 6th grade by this time and back in public schools. i remember being woke up all the time at like 12am and haveing to leave with mom and the dog and drive around til he passed out and it was safe to be in the house. he always apologized the next day and he thought it was fine. then it would happen a few days later. i am a very forgiving person, and even when he called my cousin a nigger and everything else i still forgave him. i tried to take him down once for it and we moved a bed with my mom on it like three feet. i think i was 12 or 13. well my mom was really sick and ended up having major surgery around 3 of them and she almost died(want detail on this please ask). but right before and months after healing from surgery she would fall....a lot. and she said she slipped on the stairs outside or fell in the house. but later i found out that he had been hitting her. one night when i was around 12 or 13 i saw it for the first time. i was horror stricken and didn't know what to do. i would proceed to see it many times. and would proceed to see the sheriffs and mike getting hauled off many times, but as always he would end back up with us. eventually it calmed down and for like 2 years things were okay. lots of fights between me and mike but that was it. back in 6th grade when my grandma died is when i was finally pushed into full scale depression. i never cut or anything but that is what pushed me off. i told grandma almost everything and then she was no more and that really really broke me apart. there was one thing that i never told her and i am glad i didn't. and that was that "M" molested me. in 5th grade one day he had drank around 48 beers and mom was at work. well i had dishes to do and no 5th grader likes chores. "M" said he would do the dishes if i gave him something. i was pretty much like sure, i wanted to go outside and play. well what ended up happening is what i feel ended up making me feel the way i did towards him while he drank. it almost became something more. and i mean very close...it was more than just touching( if you want to know i was also molested when i was four by our next door neighbors teenager). well back up to where i left off. when there was the violence cool down it seemed like things were going to get better. but for me it just kept getting worse. i tried to be anywhere but home as much as possible. the fights between "M" and i kept getting worse. i started to cut at the very end/beginging of my freshman/sophomore year. and that has been a constant thing since. but i am trying to stop. but anywayz, we moved in june of this year and the tension between everyone kept getting worse. i was in about the worst state physically and emotionally humanly possibly that i had ever been in. his truck got stolen wrecked and brought back to our driveway. he was being accused and when told he couldn't be arrested for it he wouldn't believe it. i think this pushed him off the edge mentally. well just at the begining of this month he went off again and tried to kill my dog, tried to strangle her and threw her across the room. then he tried to go after my mom again but she got out. and when the police finally made it they had to tazer him or 6 times and cuff and shackle him. he threw a chair at the officers and everything. he had tried to cut his arm and say my mom did it.... ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6842024/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6842024/ Sun, 23 Oct 2005 02:25:37 PDT Hopeless and lonely
Smiling on the outside
But hurt beneath my skin
My eyes are fading
My soul is bleeding
I’ll try to make it seem ok
But my faith is wearing thin

So help me heal these wounds
They’ve been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your fault
That I’m open
And I’m bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And I need someone to help me sew them up

I only wanted a magazine
I only wanted a movie screen
I only wanted the life I’d read about and dreamed
And now my mind is an open book
And now my heart is an open wound
And now my life is an open soul for all to see

But help me heal these wounds
They’ve been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your fault
That I’m open
And I’m bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And I need someone to help me

So you came along
I’ll push you away
Then kick and scream for you to stay

Cause I need someone to help me
Oh I need someone to help me

To help me heal these wounds
They’ve been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your fault
That I’m open
And I’m bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And I need someone to help me sew them
I need someone to help me fill them
I need someone to help me close them up
-wounded-~good charlotte~

it makes so much sense to me when i see it this way...but then it makes no sense at all. i wish i knew though. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6798812/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6798812/ Tue, 18 Oct 2005 07:32:11 PDT
this chick that is supposed to help me and my mom came to our house yesterday. i hid upstairs because i don't like being asked questions...especially when it all has to do with mike. me and strangers don't traditionally get along well either. i have also come to a conclusion about all of this....i have decided that there is no point in hiding what happens...i have also come to realize that i need help...i don't know what to do. i just know i need help and i don't know who can help or who really wants to. everything people say to me i second guess i don't know whether they are just telling me stuff to make me feel better or if they are for real. i really need something and i need help...it is just a matter of getting it. so well if anyone has ideas fill me in cuz it is more than what i know now....all i can figure is that i am stupid for loving someone who has taken so much away from me and made me so fucked up. and that is how i feel...like one fucked up mistake.

so well i guess i will leave you now and...... ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6787043/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6787043/ Sun, 16 Oct 2005 21:16:34 PDT
Santa's little assistant Mandy needs help with a present for her best friend.

Mandy needs to slut it out more

Mandy needs to work on getting physical when she is angry.

Mandy needs a knight in shining armour

Mandy needs a thorough physical examination and some tests.

Mandy needs nasal oxygen, antibiotics, and some coupage to hasten her recovery

Mandy needs patience with her training and consistancy.

Mandy needs a constant reminder of what you expect of her(this one is true)

As it turns out Mandy needs a whole lot of lemon zest for a charity bake sale

I completely agree that Mandy needs us. I wish her publicist would release an address

Mandy needs $180.70 to bring her income up to the OSIPM standard

Mandy needs to find some books on designing a website, so she goes to her library's
GIL system.

In responding to Mandy's needs on many levels, they learned that architectural design has a tremendous human element.

Mandy needs your help and guidance as she goes through this difficult time in her life here on Earth(to true to true)

Mandy needs an obsession.(and i think she just found one)

All Mandy needs is a new home and someone to love her(do you people think this is true?)

Mandy" Needs A Home. Mandy. "Mandy" is a 2 year old spayed female. She is looking for a loving home to call her own.(oh my god)

Mary Ann Mandy needs a shoulder to cry on, and who else is left? Gilligan Zac says, "After Professor Andy left, Mary Ann Mandy just kind of came over and hung on top of me. When the best isn't around, I am the best of what's left, I guess."

Mandy needs a 6 ft. wooden fence as she can sail over 4 ft. fences!

I think Mandy needs to switch from Pullups to Depends.

Mandy is on drugs WAY too much.

Mandy needs Mike to live the way she wants him to because her livelihood depends on it.(this is an odd one seeing as the names)

I also feel strongly that Mandy needs some non-drinking adults as role models. Since she was born alcoholic with FAS, she cannot ever drink safely.

Mandy needs to tease the audience more and be more seductive

Mandy needs little introduction, having established herself as one of the funniest and most frequently pregnant comics in the local area


Most importantly, Mandy needs to get some professional help. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6749221/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6749221/ Wed, 12 Oct 2005 14:36:35 PDT
um i am gonna request that people read this and give me advice...this describes a lot of what i feel just so you know

Is anybody listening?Can they hear me when I call?I'm shooting signals in the air,'Cause I need somebody's help. I can't make it on my own,So I'm givin' up myself. Is anybody listenin', listenin'?I've been stranded here and I'm miles away. Making signals hoping they save me I lock myself inside these walls 'Cause out there I'm always wrong I don't think I'm gonna make it So while I'm sitting here on the eve of my defeat I write this letter and hope it saves me

[chorus:]
Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
Shooting signals in the air
'Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm givin' up myself
Is anybody listenin', listenin'?

I'm stuck in my own head and I'm oceans away. Would anybody notice if I chose to stay? I'll send an S.O.S. tonight And wonder if I will survive. How in the hell did I get so far away this time? So now I'm sitting here, The time of my departure's near. I say a prayer please, someone save me

[chorus]

I'm lost here
I can't make it on my own
I don't wanna die alone
I'm so scared
Drowning now
Reaching out
Holding on to everything I know
Crying out
Dying now
Need some help

Is anybody listenin'? Can they hear me when I call? Shooting signals in the air
I need somebody's help. I can't make it on my own. I'm givin' up myself. Is anybody listenin'?

if you are really interested in some of how i feel here is another link to some lyrics if you can help me please do i really need it right now. these lyrics would be something i feel that some people are trying to tell me or something like that but either way i think you should get the point.
[link]

again i say please help i would appreciate it.

~~~Mandy~~~

i want final fantasy advent children. oh and my birthday is in november...but you don't know that...and i like chocolate...hehehe...but dont get me anything if you know me...i will find chocolate! and i already have my present from my grandma 150 bucks. i also got my christmas from her too. another 150! hehehe. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6727795/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6727795/ Mon, 10 Oct 2005 07:39:01 PDT
well obviously i am not happy with the turnout of the double header competions. we got ones which is the best number you can get and it means superior but we didn't get a single trophy or award b/c the judges like to judge by what your school does for props. there was even a school that had the same stuff a drum corp has which really pissed me off b/c that was not a drum core competion. they are a HIGH SCHOOL band. well anywayz it will do me no good to focus on it so all the band can do is to keep practicing and try to get better. other things are going on and i am quiet fed up with other people treating me the way they do and i am not going to put up with the fucking shit. if i am just there when you want me then that is just to fucking damn bad b/c i won't be there at all then. people need to get over themselves and think about how other people feel. i hate the things i do and try to change them but other people just don't. they dont' even seem to care. and i am done now b/c i don't want to get even more pissed off then i already am. well anywayz how is everyone else doing?

i am also going to put this here as well so if you did it on my other screen name you can do it again or quit reading now.

Leave a comment here and...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
4. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
5. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
7. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

i want final fantasy advent children. oh and my birthday is in november...but you don't know that...and i like chocolate...hehehe...but dont get me anything if you know me...i will find chocolate! and i already have my present from my grandma 150 bucks. i also got my christmas from her too. another 150! hehehe. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6701985/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6701985/ Fri, 07 Oct 2005 07:37:55 PDT
well i was on the radio this morning with a portion of the band...we played and screamed and it was fun...got to be late to school and be excused which is awesome. tonight is an away football game that is like 1:30 minutes away and i don't like bus rides. i have my new cd player which will make my time more enjoyable...that and the blanket and pillow. tomorrow is the double header and i am quite agitatative b/c we need so much luck right now that it isn't even funny. i have to be at school at 10:30 in the morning and don't get back til around 1 in the morining again. then i am staying with mychan and then going to the renaissance festival with her and jessica (timbit and fruitcake) on sunday morning. me be looking for a smiting stick of doom in which i hope to find. i had show and tell in spanish today and brought in a stuffed lobster...woo. signed up for the PSAT next week which will be fun stuffage. um i don't know what else..my computer won't download songs from emails currently and i should be fixing msn on my computer next week which is a good thing for mandy. well i suppose i will go...maybe i will feel better by monday b/c i sure wish it would all quit and go away. if anyone can help me in any way please tell me and try to do so...i am at the point of begging.

i want final fantasy advent children. oh and my birthday is in november...but you don't know that...and i like chocolate...hehehe...but dont get me anything if you know me...i will find chocolate! and i already have my present from my grandma 150 bucks. i also got my christmas from her too. another 150! hehehe. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6690858/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6690858/ Wed, 05 Oct 2005 21:29:56 PDT
well i get banned and then they give me a subscription...i would like to know how that makes any sense. as if i wasn't already confused enough about everything that is going on. well mom's bf i gone for good and he is just digging himself into a deeper whole. right now all i want to say is that he better never try to kill my doggie again. well i don't want to get into this so i will stop. i will also say thank you to those that have been helping me and know how i feel and the other stuffage. i am forever greatful. just don't ever forget about me please. now on a lighter note...i will definitly be going to spain...which yay! i am excited...but i need to go to bed now so catch ya later...bye!

i want final fantasy advent children. oh and my birthday is in november...but you don't know that...and i like chocolate...hehehe...but dont get me anything if you know me...i will find chocolate! and i already have my present from my grandma 150 bucks. i also got my christmas from her too. another 150! hehehe. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6668693/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6668693/ Mon, 03 Oct 2005 12:51:07 PDT
umm i do have another account on which i am posting things as well. it currently has pictures of the senior prank that occured this summer and they are quite lovely. at least i think so. things are pretty shitty for me right now and hell i feel shitty right now too. i didn't go to school today b/c i didn't want to, i told my mom i didn't feel good and well physically i was fine but i ain't fine and well i don't know how to fix it.

so anywayz yeah um have fun peoples! gots to go. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6483514/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6483514/ Mon, 12 Sep 2005 07:49:01 PDT 1) why are people so hateful?
2) why must there be ap chem? (this could very likely be a frequent question)
3) note to self: pink installation is not cotton candy!
4) where do the strange dots on my shirt come from?
5) why can't muriah and i have this much fun in ap chem all the time? (stir stick of doom)
6) why band? why? coldness, but full uniform will bring some warmth.
7) have you ever needed something so bad it makes you cry?

there they be. well i don't really know what to say now. i have too much pain and stuff on my mind to really say anything worth value. i have been so out of it for the past two weeks that i don't really know what to do for sure and i have no one to really tell me what to do or give me some form of help. no one really sees the facts of what really happen and few know how i really feel.

The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

La la la la la la la la...La la la la la la laaaa...
La la la la la la la la...La la la la la la laaaa...
La la la la la la la la...La la la la la la laaaa...
La la la la la la la la...La la la la la la laaaa...

~whiskey lullaby~
-brad paisley f/allison kraus- ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6448231/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6448231/ Thu, 08 Sep 2005 07:31:05 PDT and if not at least read her comment sig which is:
(`*·.¸ (`*·.¸¸.·*´) ¸.·* ) (`*·.¸ (`*·.¸¸.·*´) ¸.·* )
(`*·.¸ (`*·.¸When In Doubt, Consult An Oreo¸.·*´) ¸.·* )
(`*·.¸ (`*·.¸¸.·*´) ¸.·* ) (`*·.¸ (`*·.¸¸.·*´) ¸.·* )

now isn't that great. i feel completely special.

oh and did ya all know oreos are illegal in cali. that means i am illeagl in cali. thank god i went there before i was illegal. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6439086/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6439086/ Wed, 07 Sep 2005 07:44:27 PDT ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6357742/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6357742/ Mon, 29 Aug 2005 07:42:18 PDT
teachers say the darndest things ::::::::::::::::;;
Mr. smith: "when i really wanna strangle the son of a bitch. but locke says to use control"
Mandy: " well apparently lockes wife was never attacked"
class: laughing

---------------------------

and apparently a teacher named mr. kirby has a wonderful way to remember the horizontal and vertical axis
"virgins stand up and whores lay down"

------------------------------------------
well marysville is just plain strange but yet comically amusing. it's great.

school sucks. i am there now and i must take my leave b/c the bell is getting ready to ring so gotta go. ttyl. bye. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6297690/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6297690/ Mon, 22 Aug 2005 13:31:27 PDT
well now that i have that out of my system for the day. school started today, and let me say, the world has too many text books. i never thought that it was possible, but it is. all nine periods of the day were quite long and tedious. i never thought it was going to end. i even had a test today. and then there is all sorts of homework. as if the homework i had to do over the summer wasn't bad enough. i have homework in everyclass save for band and study hall. i have never felt so hurt. god no one ever said it was going to be this hard to be "smart". well i gotta go do homework so ttly and wish me luck. i'll need it. buh bye. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6275892/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6275892/ Sat, 20 Aug 2005 00:33:03 PDT school starts monday which is a royal pain in the ass. seeing as i still have two essays to write. so i gotta go work on that junk. ttyl. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6119586/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6119586/ Wed, 03 Aug 2005 05:20:02 PDT ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6086290/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6086290/ Sun, 31 Jul 2005 08:18:18 PDT
well anywayz i am going to disappear for over a week......then after that i have been told i have to be in bed be 10:30. this all really sucks but i suppose it could suck more. band camp is next week and that should explain my dissaperance. some of you might be lucky to get phone contact. that is if i can find a phone to use during my lunch break. but otherewise sorry but i will be back as soon as i can be. til then ttyl. bye. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6029535/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/6029535/ Mon, 25 Jul 2005 11:02:43 PDT
ah yes and there would be a forum for moi on the page of =Zeeblee and it would be called "minty fresh phone oreo." put question if ye haves or funny things i have done/said. make me mad.....jason would appreciate hearing my angry voice. but whatever it is there and there it is. so go put something.

anybody else have something fun occuring in their life?
i wanna hear about it. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5984701/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5984701/ Wed, 20 Jul 2005 08:22:02 PDT
You've made my life completly miserable~You drove me to the edge~You've caused me all this pain~But I've always loved you 'cause your oh so special~I'm broken and I'm alone and I can not maintain~SO HELP ME~SAVE ME~TELL ME THAT THE END IS NEAR~HELP ME~SAVE ME~TELL ME THAT THE END IS HERE~~~I tear my heart open~I sew myself shut~And my weakness is that I care to much~And my scars remind me that the past is real~I tear my heart open just to feel~~~~I'm dreaming about tomorrow~I'm thinkin' of yesterday~I consume myself in sorrow~This moment in time is what I betray~But I am searching for the answers~And I look around and sometimes I get sad~'cause I don't know which way to go~And I look around and sometimes I get sad~'cause my life is spinning out of control~...When you cut me in two I never thought I would bleed~~~~~On the outside I look fine~But on the inside I am dying~My strength is overcome by pain~My love for you remains the same~The lonliness is setting in~I have no one to free my sins~~~~~~I'm not deaf~And all I hear are your empty promises~I will forgive but I won't forget~And I hope you know you've lost my respect~Does it run in your blood~to betray the one you love~YES IT RUNS IN YOUR BLOOD~TO BETRAY THE ONES YOU LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just so as you know these are all song lyrics that I brought together since I can't seem to explain myself anymore. The longer strings of ~ represent a song change so here are the songs all of which are all by Papa Roach.

1.Done with you
2.Scars
3.Sometimes
4.Do or die
5.Blood(empty promises) ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5946706/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5946706/ Fri, 15 Jul 2005 22:50:53 PDT
Quiz: what kind of girl are you?

Answer: You are the gothic girl. You don't like to hang out with a lot of people who don't have your same interest. You also like blood even if by a little bit. You can't help who you are and you like who you are!

Quiz:What alcoholic drink are you?

Answer: A Cocktail

Quiz:Are you insane?

Answer: Dude you have split personality.get help...please rate!!!

Quiz: What kind of killer are you?

Answer: You kill with magic.
You are very skilled with magic, but have poor fighting skills. But it doesn't really matter anyway since it can be as powerful as other weapons. You are probably missunderstood by people and have some pain inside you. You are not the kind of person to start a fight, but if you are provocted you respond. You probably don't have that many friends either though you might want some. According to you life is a lonely journey and you try not to care to much. Most people who are witches or anything similar is thought to be evil and want to see all people suffer. That however is not true. You don't feel that much joy seeing others in pain. You are probably peaceful and quiet when left alone.

Main weapon: Potions and spells
Quote: "A man can be destroyed but not defeated" -Ernest Hemingway
Facial expression: Blank eyes

Quiz:Which gorgeous goddess are you?

Answer: The Goddess of Night and Regret. You are a perfect confidante. Always understanding and solicitous, you could be a queen and you are exceptionally honest. You are an intelligent beauty.

Quiz:How evil are you?

Answer: you aren't evil but you are'nt totaly nice.

Quiz:7 types of intelligence. which is yours?

Answer: Intrapersonal

Quiz:If you were an anime character what would you look like?

Answer: You are the warrior anime girl.You are the type that can start a fight and win.You are very strong and can beat anyone up (but just don't ^_~) and some people can be afraid of you but alot of people admire your strength and want to be just like you well the people that want to fight.You can defend yourself very easily and can probably handle some kind of weapon.You have a short temper(like me)and get angry easily but you can be really nice at times ^_^and once a fighter always a fighter.

Quiz: How will you die?

Answer: you will die quietly in bed at an old age. have a nice rest of your life.

Quiz: What lies behind your eyes?

Answer: In your eyes, people can't seem to see anything because your eyes are covered up by tears! You are constantly hurt and depressed... No one seems to understand how you feel because everyone is scared to get close to you... You long to be able to reach out and tell someone everything, and all of your problems... But you have no one to tell, or they just don't seem to want to hear what you have to say. You've been hurt many times that you don't seem to have any tears left to shed, or if you do, they're an endless river flowing... You've started to hide and bottle up all or your problems and feelings, hoping that maybe they just will go away... You want company, but at the same time, you're scared of it. Your sanctuary is your room where you can just be alone and try to throw away all of your aching pains. You're dark and mysterious and people like you for that reason. Even if you think you're all by yourself in the dark, someone is always there with you. Your special someone wants to admit and show their feelings towards you, but they're afraid of how you'll take it. Get out more and enjoy life because, it is far too long to frown your way through

Quiz: How is your soul?

Answer: Your soul is dead.
You've probably been through one too many rough times in your life which has eaten you up from the inside. Now there's nothing more to eat from since you just don't care anymore. Life is meaningless and you live it like a zombie. The good thing though is that you cant be hurt, since you are so distant from the emotional world. Love is something you dont understand or just dont remember. If it was up to you, your life would already be over, but it doesn't make you suicidal. You are probably alone most of the time, looking at the world with a blank stare. The yearning to feel alive and be happy has simply gone away. What's left now is only the shell of what used to be you.

Quiz: What wise quote fits you?

Answer: Your wise quote is: "Reality bites with a variety of sizes of teeth"(-Tony Follari)
As a person, you think life is just plain painful, horrible and everything else you don't... ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5928191/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5928191/ Mon, 18 Jul 2005 05:02:13 PDT
i have lots of nicknames and alterations of nicknames so ima make a list so i can remember.

franchy
succubus of pasteries
mandy
mandy-chan
jedi master at bull shit....or
jedi master of bull shit(both have been said)
fruit
obi wan the temptress
jumbo shrimp(no making fun of my height!)
pokey(damn short legs)
minty fresh phone oreo
minty fresh(this is apparently short form)
any combo of the four words minty, fresh, oreo, and phone
oreo
bag of oreos
oreo girl
dark angel
goddess of hell
"my luv"(christines direct quote)
candy
jenna jameson(don't ask)
jenna(obviously short for the one before)
candy mandy
mandy the candy
master queen
fred
amanda panda bear(damn my mothers meaness)
(and fuck me if she didn't write a song that she used to sing to me too!)

um i think that covers it. if you know me and i left one out tell me and it will appear.

also, band well there were guys in tights and skirts twirling flags, need i say anymore than i want to see certain people do this.

me be going to my dads tomorrow, or actually tonite so i will disappear for a while as usual. but have a good weekend everyone. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5909102/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5909102/ Mon, 11 Jul 2005 22:39:22 PDT
now this is one of the most hilariously perverted songs that i have heard in a while. it is called naked in my bed and is by the frickin' a's so enjoy.

I met her at the pool
yeah she was smokin’ hot
she told me maybe we should get together sometime
she asked me if i could
rub oil on her back
and that was fine with me
and then i had a crazy fantasy...we were

Naked in my bed
one fling no strings
movin’ all around the room
chicka chicka boom boom...and then we did it
on the floor
against the door
up on the sink where we did it some more
the sun was hot and we were both burning red
we were naked in my bed

She read her magazine
right in front of me
the latest issue of cosmo she said i should
check these positions out on page 69
she pointed to this one...and said
looks like a lot of fun..then we were

Naked in my bed
one fling no strings
movin’ all around the room
chicka chicka boom boom...and then we did it
on the floor
against the door
up on the sink where we did it some more
the sun was hot and we were both burning red
we were naked in my bed

Everyone will wonder where we’ve been
we can make up something oh but then
we may never see the sun again

We were naked in my bed
on top, don’t stop ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5863625/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5863625/ Thu, 07 Jul 2005 05:05:06 PDT
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don’t belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you’re bleeding

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I’m happy
But I’m not gonna be ok!

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don’t know what it’s like
What it’s like!

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life
-simple plan-~welcome to my life~ ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5846694/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5846694/ Tue, 05 Jul 2005 11:35:48 PDT
jason is back, yippee, and welcome back.

he has already taken his title back as sending mandy the most comments.

congratz jason!!!!!!

well i ain't in no mood to chat but i hope everyone had a splendid fourth of july and had a dandy time.

bye. ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5795240/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5795240/ Wed, 29 Jun 2005 20:51:59 PDT
I ain't gonna eat, I ain't gonna sleep
Ain't gonna breathe, til I see, what I wanna see
And what I wanna see, is you go to sleep, in the dirt
Permanently, you just being hurt, this ain't gonna work
For me, it just wouldn't be, sufficient enough
Cuz we, are just gonna be, enemies
As long as we breathe, I don't ever see, either of us
Coming to terms, where we can agree
There ain't gonna be, no reason, speakin wit me
You speak on my seed, then me, no speakin Englais
So we gonna beef, and keep on beefin, unless
You're gonna agree, to meet with me in the flesh
And settle this face to face, and you're gonna see
A demon unleashed in me, that you've never seen
And you're gonna see, this gangsta pee on himself
I see you D-12, and thanks, but me need no help
Me do this one all by my lonely, I don't need fifteen of my homies
When I see you, I'm seeing you, me and you only
We never met, but best believe you gon' know me
When I'm this close, to see you exposed as phony
Come on, bitch, show me, pick me up, throw me
Lift me up, hold me, just like you told me
You was gonna do, that's what I thought, you're pitiful
I'm rid of you, all you, Ja, you'll get it too!

[Chorus]
So go to sleep bitch!
Die, motherfucker, die! Uh, time's up, bitch, close ya eyes
Go to sleep, bitch! (what?)
Why are you still alive? How many times I gotta say, close ya eyes?
And go to sleep bitch! (what?)
Die motherfucker die, bye, bye, motherfucker, bye, bye!
Go to sleep bitch! (what?)
Why are you still alive? Why, die motherfucker, ah, ah, ah...
Eminem "Go to sleep" ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5778453/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5778453/ Tue, 28 Jun 2005 05:10:33 PDT
everyone is like gone or going on vacation. damn it really sucks for me too. i never go fucking anywhere that is fun.

well still no more legos to play with so bummer. i seem to be a bitch and slave to certain people now. or i guess a toy to fuck around with would be appropriate too.(not in physical forms people, get you minds out of the gutter momentarily)

but anywayz i shall quit ranting before it gets violent. which could be quickly since i have no manga to read currently. gosh life can be a bitch.

well buh bye!!!!!!!!! ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5739556/ http://mandy-chan-luvs-toya.deviantart.com/journal/5739556/ Thu, 23 Jun 2005 23:22:59 PDT a. i kill meself
b. my mom kills me
c. her bf kills me
but mind you this is my dog and they do yell at her all the time. craziness, all of it is. but anywayz again, most of the bruises have pooffed away. so yay for me. i shall probably be taking a short leave of absence so you are warned. i shall be going to my dads on a regular basis now, i think. which means no computer or phone b/c he is in the past and has neither. it is like a death time for me. so that means no da unfortunatly, unless i actually try to meet people in a town of maybe 100 people and find someone to bum off of but not likely cause people are crazy but not crazy like me there normal which makes them crazy.

kk, so heres this story that i came across that is so gross but yet cracks me up.
so this chick is giving this guy head and she is feeling sick but doesn't stop and she ends up barfing on the guy.

no it didn't come from a porno cite, just a find. don't ask me why i find that amusing but i do. i am just insane and depraved enough (ah yes muriah the depravedness comes up again. or is it deprived?)
well anywayz i shall go be bored doing something else instead of this like maybe i might try going to bed before 4am. that would be something new.

yes i could continue with my lego obsession and go but more legos so i can build more houses and cars. i love legos. they are like the best thing ever. they pass so much time and keep me awake when needed. but anywayz beddie by time. so good night. or good morning or good afternoon or whatever fucking time it is when you read this. so yeah.

buh bye, cya, ........................ ]]> ~mandy-chan-luvs-toya