http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:mangaluvr12125&section=today deviantART RSS for by:mangaluvr12125 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Fri, 11 Dec 2009 10:58:16 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/28614077/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/28614077/ Fri, 27 Nov 2009 16:09:36 PST . . .
ANYWAY.
it's been so long since i've last posted...I NO LONGER KNOW HOW TO MAKE COMICS D: dun dun dunnnn!!!

nah, i kid. it HAS been forever-or at least feels like forever-since my last REAL post...
things've been busier than i would've preferred...
quite unfortunate, eh?
but i promise, i PROMISE...soon. more will come SOON. ihope.
damn, and THIS is when i start wishing my cell would work well in our basement. (and why does this statement make me feel stupid?)

but to make this condition (condition???what??) worse...
my hands are not drawing well lately so i'm sad.
and this thanksgiving break...is so much shorter than i thought it was going to be. same 5 days, y'know..just...shorter. curses.
curse you, comfortable bed that made me sleep in by several HOURS!!!!
sigh.
but speaking of comfort, my mother bought a certain something for my sister and me because it was on sale...
and all the jokes my father and i have made, the ridicule, the cruelty!...it all just melted away.
we have joined...the cult.
don't ask, though...just because i've joined said cult does NOT mean i'm going to admit WHICH cult...

btw: that is not meant to be taken literally O____o just in case.

anyway, i hope everyone had a MARVELOUS thanksgiving...
and i hope everyone's holiday season continues to be JOYOUS!!
ah, and hopefully those who were...uh...brave enough to go shopping this black friday...did NOT get injured
speaking of...i've never BEEN shopping on black friday... (and never will, thank goodness )

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/28244438/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/28244438/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:47:36 PST


100 Things You Might Not Know About Me...
answer these questions then tag 10 people to do the same.

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
I was baking cookies...and after i pulled a cooked batch out of the oven, the side of my arm touched the side of the cookie sheet. ouch. ...it's in the shape of a crescent somehow though O__o;;

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
Death Note poster, KHII drawing, Bleach poster...cotton candy potato chip wallpaper?

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
nope. i barely move, too.

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
most of it is alternative...or j-rock...

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
3 something pm-ish.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
to stop time so that i can get over my headache, do all my schoolwork, and then watch all the anime i bought at nebraskon...
and then steal the car so i can locate Ralph, and hang out with him a while :3

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
FREE TIME D: and the whole "being able to complete/post multiple deviations per week" that i could've done this summer.
...also being concert mistress of my orchestra TTwTT perhaps.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
darn that's hard...myself? nah, not the answer you're looking for. my massive-ish manga collection? that, or my computer...

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
roughly 5'1" ?

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
i can...but only if i'm COMPLETELY surrounded on more than two sides.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
depends...in unfamiliar places: yes, when i'm not with anyone i know.

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
guhh...probably my parents. (note previous journal entry)

13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Being ALONE and DEPRESSED...again.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
don't REALLY care...(but long, swishyish hair is nice ) though i don't particularly care for red hair...but you know, just because someone doesn't have these characteristics, doesn't mean i won't still like them. case in point: my current boyfriend.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
uh...in private?

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
probably an energy drink? but if i think--this answer honest to myself is neither @__@

17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
...probably pepperoni? i dunno...

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
CHEESE CAKE O__O (but darn, you know what? ramune sounds good right now...i know it's a DRINK, but y'know..)

19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
Dark ...red/green/purple/blue?

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
NO!! .___.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
guhhhhh...l-love? >/////< *don't hit me!*

22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
oh, that's more than a crush, Sir.

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
Nah. don't think so...

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
brand? HAH. i don't wear brandnames...i just don't care. so long as it fits nice and is comfortable...

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
13 <3

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
BRUNETTES >D

32. FAVORITE QUOTE?
i dunno?

33. FAVORITE PLACE?
hmmm...somewhere warm, with all my friends, just us, with no random morons around (excluding the morons within our group, that is.)

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
yup. visited the Philippines once when i was 8

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
i learned about 68 days ago that i'm a sucker for the words "i love you" (when i'm not in a relationship) also...i don't like to disappoint people. i'm very quiet (wow, i've a lot more than i thought..)

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
would Vic Mignogna, Chris Patton, or Tiffany Grant count?
<... ]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/28143709/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/28143709/ Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:00:54 PST
at this point in time, i am eternally greatful that i listened to the little voice telling me not to take honors/ap classes this year. thank. you. God. BUT...it sure as heck is busier than last two years. WHY?? shoot. if i'm THIS bogged down with regular classes, i feel sorry for the poor saps that are in higher placement classes. I'd laugh, but that's cruel, and i honestly don't feel like laughing.

Needless to say, i'm gonna have to break the promise i made to ya'll last time. It may not be until even winter break after finals that i'll be able to work on anything for you all...but i can't say i absolutely promise either. i could very well be DEAD by winter break. hehe..heh..... ( )

SO i'm super stressed out...so i'm SERIOUSLY looking forward to this weekend. tomorrow is a half day, i REALLY need to spend some time with ~Lu-Bu-TheTerrible
and Anime NebrasKon is this weekend Fri-Sun. . . and the time i have NOT being social and with people, i will be working on school work.

SIGH.
not to mention i have stuff going on for orchestra too (nearly freaking forgot... )

Okay. I've vented. (kinda) and i gave you all an art status update. so we're all good.

. . .
i really hope to be seeing you all again soon. =_____=;;;

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/27713550/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/27713550/ Sun, 11 Oct 2009 18:52:06 PDT PLUS other projects that i haven't decided whether or not to include on dA. (probably not, it sounds like a pain...)
*is it just me or is my tongue getting ...narrower? or is that bigger?*
...(why am i always distracted by my reflection? and then i complain, but don't ever move the mirror?? )

--
so after a small dose of drama, life is back to normal.
i made chocolate chip cookies that i plan to bring to school tomorrow for all my friends i did this twice my freshmen year, but i think that out of all my (now fairly close) friends i have this year, my ex is the only one that's tried my cookies... so i thought it'd be a good idea to make some again yey!

--
i almost--wait, no--i DID bawl my eyes out when i heard that ~Lu-Bu-TheTerrible (my boyfriend) might not have been able to continue going to our school. . .but an hour later or so, the problem was solved, and i just want him to know how happy i am, and how proud i am of him, and ...well, how much i really do care about him
why bring this up? because...i dunno. i guess i feel like bragging? *shot* no. i just set up his dA account...like, 2-ish weeks ago or so...and i think he's a great drawer--better than me, and i think everyone should go watch him and support him (though he doesn't have a scanner, so i'd probably end up scanning stuff FOR him...though i definately don't mind that )

but after all the little worries i had, and about all the uncertainties i had accepting to be in this relationship...and though it's only been 37 days, i really can't see myself with anyone else. he's...almost EXACTLY what i was always looking for...and we're quite a bit alike. more so than i ever would've imagined. and knowing what i know now, i can't help but kinda regret having not talked to him last year in chemistry class...hehe. i just never knew what to say...and considering he WAS/IS my then-boyfriend's friend...

oh my, i'm rambling again i'm sorry.
--
ANYWAY, ...OHSHOOT. i forgot O__o; i'm writing a holloween massacre story that's due on holloween!! i gotta get to writing for you all!!!!
augggghhhhhhhh!

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/27581210/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/27581210/ Sun, 04 Oct 2009 15:08:02 PDT because it looked fun

You remember watching:
[x] Kenan and Kel
[x] Doug
[x] Ren & Stimpy
[x] Pinky and the Brain
[ ] AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
[x] Rockos modern Life
[x] Animaniacs
[ ] Gargoyles
[x] Hey Arnold
[x] Out of the Box
[x] Bear in the Big Blue House

[ ] Step by Step
[ ] Family Matters
[x] Dinosaurs
[x] Boy Meets World
[x] Full House
[x] The Magic School Bus
[x] Wishbone
[x] Reading Rainbow
[ ] Ghostwriter
[ ] Batman the Animated Series
[x] Aladdin
[ ] Ninja Turtles
[ ] Ghost Busters
[x] Duck Tales (at least, i THINK i did...?)

[ ] You’ve ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
[ ] You just can’t resist finishing this . . ."In west Philadelphia born and raised..."

You watched the original cartoons of:
[x] Rugrats
[x] Wild Thornberrys
[ ] Power Rangers

When everything was settled by:
[x] rock paper scissors
[x] bubble gum bubble gum in a dish
[ ] miss mary mack (well, nothing SETTLED like that...)

You collected:
[x] Beanie Babies
[ ] Pogs
[x] Pokemon cards
[ ] Carebears
[ ] Silver dollars

You remember:
[x] When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
[x] Reading Goosebumps
[x] When kick ball was something you did everyday
[ ] You used to listen to the radio all day long
[ ] just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape.
[ ] You remember Super Nintendos and Sega Genesis
[ ] You remember The Original Game Boy
[ ] You always wanted to send in a tape to America’s Keyword
[x] When Yo-Yos were cool
[ ] Those Where’s Waldo books.
[ ] Eating Warheads and Splashers Gushers
[x] You remember Ring Pops
[x] If you remember when everything was "da BOMB!"
[ ] If you even know what an original walkman is.
[ ] You remember boom boxes .vs. cd players.
[x] Making those little paper fortune things, and then predicting your life with them
[ ] You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano, and brought it everywhere you went
[ ] All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand
[x] Everyone watched the WB
[x] When everybody knew all the pokemon by heart.
[x] When there were only 150 pokemon.
[x] the Macarena
[x] "Talk to the hand"
[x] When Digimon was still on.
[ ] You went to McDonald’s to play in the playplace and it was still sanitary.
[x] Before the MySpace frenzy
[ ] Before the Internet & text messaging.
[x] Before Sidekicks & iPods
[x] Before PlayStation3 or X-BOX 360
[x] Back before X-box, period
[x] Before Spongebob.
[x] When light up sneakers were cool.
[x] When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs (well, not RENT...we owned them...)
[ ] When gas was $0.60 a gallon.
[x] When you recorded stuff on VCR
[ ] You had slap bracelets
[x] You Actually played outside until it was dark (or just played outside, period. right?)
[x] Way back before we realized all this would eventually disappear.


Post this if you smiled at least more than 5 times. And if you remember at least half the stuff on here.
sigh. yup. born in '93...
-----------------
ANYWAY: if you have a facebook account, and haven't already--become a fan of Bob the Spazz!!!

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/27360255/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/27360255/ Tue, 22 Sep 2009 16:04:55 PDT yey! please join if you are a fan, and have a facebook!
I've got good stuff coming along--all i need is the time. which means only a few free hours on maybe sunday. maybe. damn. but please, i promise i'll get SOMETHING in this week!

(wow, what a short journal, eh? bet you're very happy )

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/27117116/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/27117116/ Wed, 09 Sep 2009 15:48:58 PDT yey! . . .do i win something?

ANYWAY.
there are a lot of people i feel should get more recognition.
and there are people i'd LIKE to point out that they really should POST MORE. (but i won't name names...right now.)
but there ARE a few people whom i feel have great potential and deserve many more watchers (including me. jk. actually, no really. i do. don't i? no?)

yeeeah, it's my older sister. i understand WHY she hasn't posted anything in FOREVER, but her stuff is really good seriously. i can't do what she does. and unfortunately, if she ever happens to read this, she should know that everything she told me about flash flew straight over my head, and i need her to reteach me.
;___;
she's also prettier than i am. and more fit. me no like sibling rivalry. grr.

MOVING ON.

their stuff amuses me :3 and i sense that some pretty good stuff will come from them in the continuing future.

DEFINATELY deserves more watchers/commenters
he's a better traditional artist than i'd ever hope of being ('cause we all know i am NOT as good as people say...) i admire his talent. and i can't help but notice that our tastes in 'art' and what we find cool are similar. as well as our overall demeanor, think. though i wonder if that's just my own imagination...
>__>; sorry. it just almost always occurs to me, somehow. just from what i've noted, anyway. i'm not saying we're EXACTLY alike... *i'm gonna shut up now...i know he's probably reading this...*

she draws AND writes! and i see the growth in both! (though i'll be honest anyway and say that i've been too busy with school to really sit and read all of her stuff...i'd like to one day, though. just spend a day (or a week) just reading all her lit. deviations ^w^ but i know she understands, right?) on top of that, she's an open Bob fan! what's better than THAT!? (not much! ) but she's got a gallery worth looking through
(well...i haven't really checked lately, but i'm pretty sure she has like an infinite number more watchers than i do...hmmm. no, pretty sure that's right...and likely 100x more commenters than i get. )

~iPoetAndMaybeMore yeah, yeah. he's new. and STILL needs to actually figure out how to POST DEVIATIONS CORRECTLY. but, his poems (that he's thus far only posted as journals) are amazing :3 definately worth the read. wish i could write poems that good...*not jealous, just feeling like a loser because i actually thought mine were awesome...darn.*

that's all that comes to mind at present...
i think.
but seriously, give these people a check through.
*it'll keep you busy until the next deviation from me, it might be a little while *

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/26865140/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/26865140/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:34:00 PDT and YOU should be giddy too knowing that i have so many more goodies for all of you!
Though short on time--I have gained renewed enthusiasm and confidence that i can bring you some really great stuff to look forward to! (so spread the words to friends and old watchers who've more or less stopped watching me =___=; i mean really! who passes up reading a COMIC from a semi-skilled deviant?? i sure don't...)

i figure one way or another...i gotta get my stuff out there more. if that means playing the "go to random people's pages and comment on stuff pretending to be a total newb that needs advice--" so be it. (okay, fine. maybe i won't act...like a TOTAL newb ) is that bad? i mean--don't get me wrong, i still would very much like more constructive critisism on my stuff (i'm not talking about the artistic ability--i can't force myself to fix THAT, but i mean content-wise. something that CAN'T be hindered by laziness.) or am i asking too much?

So lots of goodies--and you have ample time to spread my name to people you know (or DON'T know ), maybe glance through some old (really crappy *cough* ) works of mine...

-or maybe i've just (as of right now) exhausted all measure of self-confidence and self-love that i had at this time...and can no longer stand to mention anything about how i think i deserve more watchers/commenters >____> -

but it isn't just me--i know several people whom i think deserve much more. and until my next journal--i will make a list of those people and why i think they deserve more views. sound good? good. comment below--and you might just BE one of those people i find!

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/26573057/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/26573057/ Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:09:35 PDT w<

ah, yes. school starts in a few days. . .
RIGHT when i hit a freaking creative OVERLOAD on comics for ya'll.
sigh. that's just how it goes right?

what've i got in store?
a little stupidly hilarious this, a little romantical that.
a coupla artsy, heartwarming non-comics
as well as a series of loose comics that go in a "day in the life of..." those you all love from the Bob & Co. group (just made that up now, the group name, that is.)
yep. you'll catch a glimpse of how life goes in our little fictional studio workings. *smug grin*
(suggestions are also being taken. into consideration. feel free to comment!)
and, lessee, what else. . .
!!!
ah.
what???
puppy porn?? Bob & Co. SWIMSUIT EDITION??? what the --!??!?!



*please stick around patiently *

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/26549023/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/26549023/ Wed, 12 Aug 2009 13:27:01 PDT
i was happy and cheery and ready to face school when SUDDENLY...
i was faced with my class schedule.
"a'ight," i thought, "cool. fine, so i got 2 freaking study halls in second sem i didn't want...but a'ight."
so i filled out a form to try to get that fixed. all's well? maybe, we'll see. though i wonder if it would be possible to replace one semester class from 1st semester in a study hall slot in second sem...and then replace the remaining "year-long" study hall completely with a child development class. . .hmmm. . .i wonder if they'd think to do that, if possible? o__o i'm paranoid because it took me all of 10 minutes to realize that was logical and that i prolly shoulda written THAT on the paperwork i had to fill out.. . .darn.
and THEN i got home (this is starting to sound like a testimony of how SLOW of a person i am =___=; oh no.) and i realized i get to travel from a second-story classroom. . .all the way out to portable freaking 10. i can only hope that making a mad dash down the stairs and out the doors to the portables will be enough to get me there on time. (and possibly make me very fit by the semester's end we can hope, right?) if it don't work the first few days when the tardies don't count (they won't, right?? o__o; it never really mattered for me before...so i didn't pay attention!) then i'll try to confront a couselor. (which i've never ever had to do before either...uhm. color me clueless on that front, too. eh heh?? see? i ain't so smart after all. . .=__=;;;; )

ANYWAYS. school starts Tues. the 18th...sigh. needless to say, i'm not as enthused as i had been just before seeing my schedule. . .
(plus, as far as i'm aware, i've got no classes with any friends. (and this is where i kick myself and scold myself to be careful what i wish for, because sure as hell--someone's gonna give you the hardest route to really work for what you wished for. so now i wonder if it's too late to revoke that wish so that magically i can just have most of my classes with the people i already talk to. . .shoot.))
this may be a very challenging year. and if it's anything like middle school. . .
there is that small chance i will go ABSOLUTELY INSANE (or back to the awkward emo-girl roots i scrambled out of freshman year...very slowly.) so please watch over me kindly *bow* and talk to me often! -i'm serious, you don't even have to say much...just drop me a line every now and again!-

yeah, hate to admit it, but i can get very desperate when i remember that period of time...yep. very very dark times...i never ever want to experience again. you understand, right?
oh. i'm yammering away again. well, shoot. (yeahhhh, don't really feel like working on the comics i promised...mainly because they're challenging, and i need to better my drawing in order to accomplish it. in other words (whoa...deja vu?? did i say that in a previous journal???) after my last failure of a comic *under randomspaz* i should wait until my drawing catches up to me again.)

until next time, friend, farewell!

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/26487245/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/26487245/ Sun, 09 Aug 2009 15:47:59 PDT
okay, no. . . but it is currently totally fried for now. Father person MAYBE feel generous to fix it for me MAYBE by the time i'll need it for school. but alas, i cannot work on any more comics for you all. yeah, that really sucks too because i had come up with some really good ones...sigh. oh well, it can wait...i suppose.

and so where is this update coming from? a very very rare usage of my father's computer
which will likely not happen soon again. so after this: no facebook, no dA. . .for all that applies to.

(meaning if any facebook buddies HAVE to contact me--do it via phone, please! *please tell Will(who never checks dA) * )

well, until we meet again, and hopefully with happy fun comics...
farewell TTwTT

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/26236634/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/26236634/ Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:30:54 PDT [link]

the more responces i get, the more satisfied we'll all be--and maybe you'll learn something new! oh, it's short, just read it, please?


ah, anyway...
*the more i think about it the more i wonder whether or not i should move my older pieces (like the ones i did pre-tablet) to scraps, or just plain delete the ones no one looks at. that would include some old bob rambles...but i was thinking of re-doing some of those. (i mean, heck, i created him and if I completely forget his existance for long periods of time, then i'm sure you all do too. so THAT shouldn't matter a whole lot to you all...would it??)

i will also admit here, too, that i feel really bad for deserting the poor fellow ...so if anything hits me (and it's gotta be really HARD >___<;; ) you MIGHT POSSIBLY see new rambles/comics of our favorite spazz.
that is NOT a "maybe yes" thing, this is an honest-to-goodness "i have absolutely no clue, i'm only human, don't hurt me if i disappoint you!!" thing.
PLEASE.
so why bring it up? 1) catch your attention. *tell your friends! spread the word! ...let me know if you care or not, because i next-to-never get helpful feedback from my watchers!!!!* 2) maybe you can suggest basic ideas?
---------

THAT'S IT!!!!
requests! yes! if you have requests i'd be more than happy! (though i do have the right to turn down-there ARE certain things i refuse to draw. just making that clear up front.)

and on an ending note, FEEDBACK!!! c'mon! it's mid-summer! surely you've got a spare 5 minutes where you could make some HELPFUL critical judgement on any recent work of mine?
and if you're sitting there thinking "well, shoot, what've you done for ME; i don't see YOU saying anything helpful on MY stuff" then i have something for you! 1) just ask, and you shall receive. seriously, i'd be more than happy to-just note or comment below or whatever and yes, i'll admit it's hard to know just what to say so you won't offend anyone OR give them worthless information.
but i'm telling you now-so long as you give SOME sort of helpful hint/tip/encouragement-and couple that with common courtesy, all will be well.
c'mon, don't be a stranger! and hopefully i'll hear from you all soon.



(i deeply and humbly apologize for my journal being so hard to follow. i myself am hurting my brain, but please, take the time to decipher it? and remember that i love you )

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/25937629/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/25937629/ Tue, 14 Jul 2009 08:41:12 PDT
anyway. i can't believe how greatly i've changed over such a short amount of time during summer. (and what's with this renewed urge to really show people up??? and actually feel like i COULD??) i'm feeling an odd sort of total liberation and a need to pursue new goals. however much i'm still limited. (STILL no drivers licence. father does not take me out driving nearly as often as he should.)
I feel really wierd today, and it's probably because that shortly before the FedEx man brought a mysterious package *anthrax bomb* to our door, i was dreaming an odd sort of dream of people who i haven't seen in months. He-who-no-longer-looks-kindly-towards-my-general-direction-for-any-reason-i-am-utterly-lost-on-however-i-suppose-i-don't-give-a-damn-anyway-either-way was there as well as my old friend who lives in Nevada. Among other people that were around like ~iPoetAndMaybeMore (who just recently got a dA account and still needs to start posting) ~deadricprince and ~roleplay4life

i only vaguely remember it taking place at my church (where the little kiddies' sunday school is) and we were all...trying to dance or something. really wierd. me? dancing? ha! (actually, come to think of it, the idea of Max dancing like that is even more surreal...perhaps.)
(oi, my stomach is moaning...=w=;; )

Goals.
=/////////= it just occured to me that none of my school goals have nothing to do with getting good grades, (because i never had to TRY REALLY HARD to get A's...and seeing as i'm not taking any honors/AP classes this coming year...*heck, i may just try holding a job...*)
i think-and this carries over from the end of last school year-i wanted to get to know people better. talk more, being a little more sociable. i always get the feeling that either i scare people, annoy people, or people think so little of me that it's like i'm not even there. just an invisible, occupied space. sigh. so hopefully all the people who came to the library in the mornings to huddle around that one table will continue that tradition...and i may come out this year as someone with more than one secure friend ;;
don't i sound so pathetic??? but i guess you know i'm being honest.
am i asking too much? i don't wanna start pushing myself on people!!
oh, and now i start to worry. am i hopeless??
sigh.
(someone! talk to me!!!)
ah. i believe i'm also much more available than i've been used to the last year and a half...yeah. back to THOSE nightly daydreams again, eh? another sad, unavoidable confession...
wow, i feel incredibly pathetic right now. i should quit while i'm ahead, right?
well, last note!
i'm gonna try my best to post good deviations that WON'T (or hopefully won't) bore you or make your eyes bleed
...well, make your eyes bleed in a BAD way.
(alas, but Wednesday-tomorrow-i will be away all day, and assuming my head will not be decapatated...then i'll be back and working on stuff for your viewing, COMMENTING(plz!), favoring pleasure.)

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/25355980/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/25355980/ Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:53:15 PDT Not quite ready to try for my drivers licence, so i'm probably going to renew my permit.
i wake up ever monday-thursday morning at 6:20 am. I'm in the pit orchestra for the AWESOME MUSICAL, AIDA, BEING PERFORMED AT SOUTH HIGH THAT MY FELLOW OMAHANS SHOULD GO SEE. ( )
ahem. anyway.
i get home around 12:30-ish and eat lunch and settle down...
which somehow, the hours whisk by very very quickly. so before i know it, it's 8:30 pm and time to be getting to bed.
but then i realize..."shoot. why can't i fall asleep???"
but then i'm afraid that if i turn on the light to read again, either i'll fall asleep with my glasses on (which i've learned from a teacher's predicament, is not a good thing) and the light still on...
or i'll end up even more awake going into midnight.
O___________O;;

meh. oh well. again, though, there's just so much i wanna do-but not enough getting to it. and it doesn't help much that these are things that require ...well, TIME.
I've got awesome ideas for things both written and drawn...
and i think i'm still waiting on my sister to remove her files from the computer i .."inherited" from her. ...it will happen eventually.

goodness!
OH! OH OH! good news~! I bought the 10th-and last-Pendragon book!!!
of course...i had recently decided to go back and read 6-9 again...
so i wanna do that before cracking open the 10th! (oh, shoot, i admit it! i cheated just a little tad. i couldn't take it. i read the foreward, but then i was like "nuuu! i have to go to bed right now, and i'm starting to get really excited...I CAN'T!!!")
hmmm...
i should go back and start my pendragon reading marathon again. and try not to fall asleep this time (darn you, overly warm, comfortable bed!!!)

Till next time,
and hopefully with new art...

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/24960361/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/24960361/ Tue, 26 May 2009 12:37:12 PDT wow.
i'll be...16? hmmm...

ah, in regards to my last journal, i would like to say that i'm doing much much much better. ...like, good as new. ...but i still don't wanna really talk about it.

anyway, it's summer vacation. and despite the slow start, (this is vacation day 5) i'm starting on the list of things i wanted to accomplish. what does that list include? mind you, my friends think i'm totally wierd for some of the stuff:
*I'm writing a bunch of essays and research papers to compile into a big ol' binder...
*Also writing short stories/novellas, perhaps
*I've volunteered to participate in the OPS (omaha public schools) summer musical thingy. again--in the pit. a violin, and hopefully not the only one. unfortunately, this is all at South...and i need my orchestra teacher to email me about the transportation he said he'd find for me... ah, we're doing Aida a friend gave me a copy of the original broadway cast soundtrack of it. been listening to it quite a bit, so now there's lotsa them stuck in my head.
*for my birthday, i've been constantly on father's case about getting an acoustic guitar. so hopefully i'll get it tomorrow, and i can start teaching myself ^^
*i wanna start posting more deviations ...
*also wanna start drawing a new manga/comic series (and sorry to say i kinda gave up on koneko koshin...but since my overall plot-progressing/awesome storyline talents have improved...well, i kinda had to?)
*i wanna compile all the material we covered in school into one big review/study notebook
*...this last bullet has to do with health, and i don't quite wanna get into that ...(wait...is it that obvious that i was reading all this off a printed list i made and taped onto my wall?? no..? oh...shoot. okay...)

so i plan to be busy, but if this year is anything like all others...i won't get half of it done. so i really wanna try getting on top of things.
(oh, but i found some good series on onemanga.com that i wanna readddd!!) ah, goodness!
well, hopefully, you'll all hear from me again soon!
ah, btw (knowing no one i know personally from school might be reading...not that that matters too much anyway...)
i cut my hair. myself. and it looks aight. okay, not ALL my hair...because i'm letting it grow. i meant...i cut my hair so now i have BANGS again i look 2 years younger! hehe, though i haven't had bangs since ...for 3-4 years.. meh. i think it looks cute, anyway.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! one last note i just remembered!!!
the 10th and last PENDRAGON book is out! has been out since the 12th!!! and i can't buy it yet! -saving for otakuomaha!!!- not until late JULY!! and then there's a bunch of OTHER books i'm holding off onnnnnn!!!! oh, so busy!

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/24109421/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/24109421/ Tue, 07 Apr 2009 10:14:38 PDT things have been busy and... words do not express how bad things are. my life took a complete and total turn around in less than a week. just last week made even more difficult because it is spring break now, and will be until easter. i figure very few, if any, will be reading this, but right now, i just want to type.

so school has been busy, but i was on top of the world. I had someone special who i would talk to and would listen. someone who loved me-that i love dearly in return.
...this person also told me there were viruses on DA, which was also partly why i avoided it. (sorries!)

i haven't been drawing lately either. not much anyway, and nothing digital. and i probably lost most of my desire to draw, too.

What Happened?

He told me he believed there was someone out there for me that would be better for me. Someone who could spend more time with me. After 1 year and 5 months together, he's ...left me. After all the promises we've made together, he's given up. He told me he's been thinking about it for a week. Truth is, I kind of saw this as a potential occurrance several weeks aforehand, and did everything i could from letting it happen. It was the stupidest reason to me. He gave me the greatest happiness I've ever had in my life. I wasn't going to give up so easily, but perhaps that was my undoing. I wanted him to see; to consider my feelings. We had agreed previously that such a decision was a mutual thing-another promise he broke. Somehow, I want to believe that he's protecting himself. He told me he still loved me, but that this was how it had to be.

Wednesday: April 1st
He told me about what was on his mind. It tortured me all day, and it was all too apparent. i'll admit, i'm not too good at hiding my emotions unless i absolutely feel i HAVE to. when is that, though?
at the end of the day he told me his decision: he would not break up with me. Tell me, though...

What happened next morning?

Thursday: April 2nd
I'm not stupid.
I meet up with a group of friends and acquaintences in the library every morning. I'm still on edge because i sense something coming, but I'm praying i can fix everything. He is on the side, talking to a friend for "advice." I don't hear any part of the conversation, but I know what it's about. We part to go to our locker shortly after, and i test him by trying to hold his hand, like always. He's carrying my voilin for me, like always. but i recognize that he's using it as a wall to block me, so i can't hold his hand. I know it's coming and i try to scrounge up words to oppose him and negotiate but my mind is numb. i can't feel my heart beat, but it's pounding so hard in my chest. it's difficult to walk, but at the same time, i can't stop walking.
he brings up the subject at our locker. i can't remember what was said, if anything was said, as we put stuff away. We walked up the stairs, to the doors of the orchestra room, where we talk every morning until the bell and have to split. He goes more in-depth. He wants to be friends. Out of instinct, and probably also out of fear that i would collapse, (i began feeling really dizzy) I grabbed onto his arms. A cellist girl (a sister of a friend) walks by us and makes a brief comment before realizing what was happening (probably by the frightened expression on my face)

the bell rings...things just got really really messy. what i wouldn't give now, just to have stopped time so I could speak calmly with him, talk this through.

at the end of first hour, the girl approaches me again, with a note in hand, giving much desired support. she also mentions not to talk to him again...though that's a tad impossible having three classes with him...(and he sits behind me in spanish, the last class of the day: this...is my lifeline.)

Friday: April 3rd
I decided to back off. but what did my last note to him do? pissed him off. was it something i saw coming? perhaps, but i did it anyway, though with due hesitation. was it warranted? probably not to that extent. He says he's forgiven me--but have i seen that? no.
he calls to tell me that i'm never to call or speak to him again. he also tells me that he no longer loves me and that he was stupid for even befriending me in the first place. He calls me a liar, and coniving. He even questions my virginity. (is he calling me a slut??) anyone else, even the Day i knew, knows this is uncalled for. I know he was angry, i understand that i was...persistant. but he would not listen to a word i said. i'm not saying he HAD to change his ways, i just asked that he would hear MY side. help clear the fog a bit. I know for myself to be an... ]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/20861943/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/20861943/ Mon, 06 Oct 2008 16:45:33 PDT anyway, it's been getting harder doing the things i wanna do. schools always gots homeworks, i'm not drawing as well as i want, and i've been battling against myself, in whatever crazy schtuffs go flying through my brain...i dunno, it's just been sorta frustrating. please forgive.

i've got a dentist appointment and a concert all on the same day this week.

but rest assured, i plan on taking time this weekend to work on another project for ya'll.

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/20539264/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/20539264/ Wed, 17 Sep 2008 15:00:52 PDT is it the school work? is it being more comfortable around my boyfriend than i was last year? (we're going on our 11th soon, by the way. yay, us.) or is it because my cold is messing with my mind? (hell, i couldn't do my spanish homework right because i couldn't think straight!)
i follow the same routine, day in, day out...
yet somehow, there's this constant feeling of unknowing. what's happening? is there something going on? should i be doing something else?
I'm standing still, but shouldn't i be doing something? it was sorta like this last year, only not as bad...because THIS year, i can't bring myself to rest when i need it.
the moment i wake up in the morning, the moment my alarm sets off at 6:20, i'm up and running, in a constant motion of business until i can finally fall asleep some time after 11 at night. I really don't have to do much to get ready for school in the morning, but it seems i still need more than the 50 minutes i give myself.
i usualy don't get sick so easily...
i couldn't help but think that maybe all this running around, stress, and lack of good sleep might've worn me down. (wait...math time: how much sleep DO i get?? uhm...lessee...*counting on fingers* *7..no--12, 1, 2, 3, 4,5, 6, plus 20...uh...* hmmm...7 and a half hours seems fit enough... )
hmm...we have some 10-15 odd minutes of reading time in homeroom...and i decided to read Pretties for some reason...i can't just stop reading in halfway through (that's just how i am) but for some reason, it's really starting to piss me off...
i can't read another book for homeroom until i finish this one!!! (am i screwed up in the head or what?? what would you call that, anyway?)

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/20439702/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/20439702/ Thu, 11 Sep 2008 14:04:53 PDT )
i realized...

i completely forgot about you all on dA
oops.

anyway, i am very busy (and just recently got on track gaining back what artistic talent i LOST during the summer vacation...) and may not have as much time as i hoped to work on things for you all. (yes, even on weekends) of course, most of it seems to be stemming from my Honors English 3-4.

I [finally] got to audition for my seat today in orchestra. did slightly better than i thought i would, but that doesn't mean i'm completely happy with how it went =__=; i played the three octave G major, two octave (instead of 3, i didn't think i could pull that off >_> even though it was something i practiced and practiced for several days...) D maj. and an excerpt from a piece we received a week or so back.

I don't mind my Chemistry class...except for the teacher. don't get me wrong, she's nice and all...but her teaching methods are a little....poor? i dunno, she doesn't ask for the assignments, but by the time progress reports come around, it's sorta too late...her notes suck, and you really don't UNDERSTAND anything until the review right before the test...sigh...how frustrating!

did the pacer today in gym. got 40. before, we did the mile: uh...well, they didn't give me my time, so i sorta estimated 16:43...of course, the boys (who started their mile slightly ahead of the girls)...er...Will (one of my gym ...buddies, i guess ) got 14 min. plus, i finished before him, so i ended with a much worse score than i should've...oops.
situps-80 (the limit ) push-ups: uh..i'm drawing a blank, but i usually get an average of 16 anyway...

passed my first CRT of the year for Economics... yey.

odd that this year, i'm perfectly fine sitting by myself at lunch in fact, it's sorta comfortable...but then peace was disturbed by some girl in my math class and her friends taking my tray and telling me to sit with them (which, i took that opportunity to show off my drawing ability )

my homeroom/algebra class is outside in the portable...kinda sucks today because it was raining...and i got wet, obviously...and i took the time this morning to sorta straighten my hair...which the rain sorta screwed up >_<

out the portable, all the way upstairs, and to the farthest corner of the school...is my next class...art. i'm amazed that even through the massive crowds of people, i'm able to make it on time to art in -EXACTLY- the 4 minutes given to us! yey me!

my English teacher creeps me out a little...-make that a LOT- she's way to excited and ecstatic about EVERYTHING. she seems quite fake...
just today she was telling us about the essays her students wrote last year, saying she literally CRIED while reading them, because they were so great (no joke), even trailing her husband throughout the house reading them to him (that poor, poor man...) yep, but we got a boat-load of crap to do for that class =__=

i like spanish class though, such a contrast to last year's spanish class! you remember how much i despised that?? gawd, this year, i'm actually LEARNING things.

ah, and tomorrow, a pep rally...assuming it doesn't rain. and this weekend: homecoming, to which i am not attending.

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/20310729/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/20310729/ Wed, 03 Sep 2008 16:04:10 PDT anyway: i stole this from some person...uh
TYPE YOUR FIRST NAME WITH YOUR...

1.FINGERS: Ilene
2.CHIN: ilene (schaweetness XD)
3.ONE FINGER, EYES CLOSED: ikldnd
4.ELBOW: ilene (ye~ah)
5.NOSE: ilene
6.PALM: kil4 n3 ... kil 4 and 3?! why? what'd 4 and 3 ever do to me? i'm no assassin! o__o;

1.) List Four fandoms you have.
uhhhhhhhh...can't say...


2.) Have you ever slept in the back of a car?
no...but i've drifted into a state of half-awareness?

3.) Have you recently dyed your hair/cut it?
nope. i'm not planning on doing anything with my hair this year, either. it'll be looong by the next summer vacation.

4. List four people that you look up to the most.
Dayton, Irish, Auntie, . . .uhm...
. . .G-God? (that counts, right?)

5.) How many pets do you own as of now?
8-ish? a poodle, and 7 fish.used to have a hamster baby for a few months

6.) Which do you prefer white or black?
black

7.) Who is your most played character?
uh....eh?

8.) Choose one or the other, not both:
-Being stuck on an island with your best friend
-Being stuck on an island with 5 acquaintances
well, my best friend is also my boyfriend, right?...hehe...and if we're alone on an island...
>3 mwahahahahahahahaha!


9.) Name three aspects that tell who you are.
Soft spoken, hesitant, aspiring

10.) If you could have a power what would it be?
stopping time...(for homework and for more time with dayton.)

11.) Who was the last person you talked to?
talking to my dayton babes right now <3

12.) Who was the last person you said "I love you" to?
my dayton babes! <3333


13.) Write down the first five words that pop into your head
chuckle, cute, hablar, hands, mythbusters


14.) What's one thing you wish you could do better?
\
DRAW

15.) Do you like the way you are?
yeses!

16.) Choose, Summer or Winter:
summer

17.) Choose, Rain or snow:
rain

18.) Water or ice?
water

19.) List two odd things about yourself:
ate a lemon with chopsticks
happy she went through a 2+ year depression?
nah, (oh shoot, i'm running out of time, folk, chao!)


20.) Now tag 6 people who should do this quiz
I TOLD YOU I GOTTA GOOOO! NO TIME! DO IT IF YOU WANT! RAWWWWWWWWWWR! >_<



]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/19952050/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/19952050/ Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:18:40 PDT
sorry, just had...ALOT going on (sorta) and with school starting next...Tuesday...(oh shootness, i'm still not even HALFWAY done with EITHER of my summer projects) so you understand my dissappearing-ness...yes? -okay, i've got no excuse, i've only barely been working on it til now...x___x;;; i procrastinate too much, neh? -

anyway, i've been tagged by

1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 8 things about their self on their journal.
3. At the end, you have to choose and tag 8 people and post their icons on the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs.

1- I just recently bought the first Kingdom Hearts game (for $20 @ Kmart! XD )

2- yes, i AM waiting until i'm actually MARRIED before thinking about losing my virginity. (of course, i'm sure that's obvious, right?) i'm saying...after thinking about it...i came to the conclusion that I am simply--at the age of 15--not ready for such...actions i wonder...why DO people want it so badly???

3- i'm afraid of talking to people i do not know. like...REALLY afraid.

4- for once in my life...i thought that summer vacation was not long enough =___=;

5- i have a large arsenal of stuffed animals at my disposal. fear us!

6- despite my quiet personality...there are some very pervy things that constantly fly through my mind. of course, last year, that got me into some ...awkward positions...COME ON PEOPLES! TAKE A JOKE!! rawr!

7- i don't think i will be drinking kool-aid for...a LONG while. the kool-aid man scares me. ever since that one dream--er, NIGHTMARE-- of mine involving this kool-aid man. (with an amazingly...SMALL...small...itty-bitty....--er, nevermind i'm sure you get it.)

8- i can type what i can't say. . . .and there's a LOT i can't say. it could be the simplest things that i get embarrassed about. (like i didn't really wanna tell my BOYFRIEND that i bought the first Kingdom Hearts game.)

okay...so, uh....is there anyone who HASN'T done this yet? hmmm...
i'll just put random people down here, i guess...
... :iconah_screw_this_just_whoever_wants_to_do_this_i_guess:

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/19233571/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/19233571/ Sun, 06 Jul 2008 10:47:31 PDT sorry.
sigh, but i might go through the list of people i watch and glance at their gallery...(well, some of them, anyway.)
but hopefully, i won't let it get out of control anymore. =___=;

so father left for miami this morning. . . .
yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaahhh....business trip type thing.
gah, it seems i'm not home ALONE as often as i was...phooey. i can't sleep in as late as i want to now because there's always some racket going on...

it really is amazing. last night, for the first time in...YEARS (i have no idea how many)...
i was told by father that he does love me.
of course, that was only because i was on the phone and i was saying that my parents don't love me. (in that half-joking tone...however if i say it seriously, i would just be embarrassing myself ) of course, it really didn't sound like father meant that much. sounded pretty automatic and unenthusiastic. didn't even bat an eye or take his eyes off the tv. i dunno, it's just really hard for me to accept things like that. i don't know if it's because i don't ...LOVE myself, or if it's just because it gives no meaning to the hard thoughts i believed during my..."time of darkness" . . .

..."i CAN take care of myself on my own. however, i CHOOSE to put others before myself."
tell me, does that make sense to anyone?

--and on a completely different note:
you KNOW the manga is good when you're rereading it again only a few hours since you first read through it! >w<
i'm reading Love Attack again, but maybe later, i wanna reread Me & My Brothers again! oh, and Wish, too...and maybe Heaven!!
. . .or, maybe i should do fanart for these :3
oh, what to do!?

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/19221866/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/19221866/ Sat, 05 Jul 2008 16:10:17 PDT uh, yeah...so I'm slowly...slowly working on stuff for you guys. and i know i SHOULD be working on the school project and all...
i DID get started! really! just...not so...FAR into it but school does come first, so deviations will have to wait, unless you want some really crappy art.

but i think i'll really start buckling down tomorrow on my school project. 'specially since i'm basically stuck in the house. (house arrest?!!?!) while father is in miami.
mother forbid me from seeing my boyfriend during the time father is away. something about not wanting to have to deal with me if something were to happen no clue what that could be, i mean, it's not like we're doing anything incredibly DANGEROUS...
nonetheless, i doubt the woman is at all genuinely CONCERNED about my well-being away from home, she just doesn't want to deal with it on her own. at least, that's how it sounds to ME. well, at least i can see him the following week when father is back home.

oh my! so many new manga releases are coming within the next few months!!
*okay, so ADV dropped the Aria title, so Tokyopop picked it up starting with the release of the prequel Aqua, and continuing onto Aria, rereleasing the volumes ADV already released (though i'm betting you can't find THOSE on shelves anymore, neh?) Tokyopop just released the 2nd Aria manga, and with my magical estimation skillz...the volume i need next (the 4th volume of Aria) will be released sometime in January of next year yay me.

*There are new Kitchen Princess releases coming in August and in October (just before my 1-year anniversary with my boyfriend ).

*Next Me & My Brothers is released September 16-ish. (the series is getting a LOT more interesting, indeed! although, i am desperately DESPERATELY praying that Sakura does not somehow become lovers with someone 10 years older than her by the end of the series!! please, God, no! ...we need more of Suzuki! )

*I know the 4th Spiral volume is out...but i haven't seen it around =__=; phooey. ah, well. i went ahead and saw past where i read in the manga, on the anime. still wanna buy the manga though...because i noticed before, there are a few differences between the two medias...
anyway, there's a new release on Holloween.

*CHIBI VAMPIRE releases! woot! i hear on the 15th of this month and the 16th of September (also the supposed release date of M&MB v. 5 )

*KAMICHAMA KARIN-CHU! YAYNESS! my GOD! they're all so ...CUDDLY!!! *3* oh, i wants ta cuddles with Kazune-kun and JIN-kun!!
...*gasp* i mean-er....Dayton-kunnn yes...my boyfriend! ...ok, i'm kidding, my boyfriend beats any manga bishounen hands-down you can't hold meaningful conversations with a character made only from ink Dayton's irreplaceable and i miss him dearly now...but that's beside the point.
...VOLUME 2 RELEASES SEPTEMBER 30TH! BOO-YAH! "I offer thee...my exalsis of love."
... heheheheheheheheheheheheh...heh....

**and just today, i bought a... ]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/19160884/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/19160884/ Wed, 02 Jul 2008 07:49:04 PDT )
but if you are a fan of my work and are not already watching ~randomspaz (which will be where i am planning on posting most of the pictures from the challenge!!) as always, i encourage you to do so

1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Cookies
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. Orly?
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation

oh yeah, this'll be fuuuun wish me luck, a'ight? i'm gonna get working right aways

~ don't be afraid come join me! (whoaaa...de ja vu! o__o )

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/19133043/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/19133043/ Mon, 30 Jun 2008 18:08:11 PDT before, it just sorta seemed like i was already quite independant and could take care of myself. that's still true, but now i feel this tightening leash gripping tighter and tighter on me. ...parents, bah! =__=;
i was wondering though... that maybe if they knew my relationship with Dayton...1) either they let me see him even LESS than i already do...
2) start giving me an actual curfew...
3) not trust me any more
4) ...trust me more, after a long lecture.

...gah. i've been thinking about it, and i know i can't hide the fact that i have a boyfriend forever...but i know that father would take the news MUCH better than my mother, so...
i figured that on me and my boyfriend's 1-year anniversary...i'd tell father...
who would probably tell mother. (that depends on how father thinks mother would take it, i suppose?) and once mother knows, i'd probably want to avoid any contact with the woman for the next few...days.
*sigh, oh, dayton...help me with this TT~TT*

---

next, i'd like to recognize all of my wonderful watchers unfortunately, i get the feeling that most of them don't even glance at my work any more nonetheless, they are included too
(in no particular order: )

/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18948315/ Fri, 20 Jun 2008 11:31:30 PDT ahem...
so...yes, went to try to get me my permit...
=__= urgh...
sat there and filled out the forms...waited a minute or two...got called to the back.
father brought an old expired passport in place of my birth cirtificate as "proof of identity."
they wouldn't take it. (i mean, we figured it would be ENOUGH proof. well, DAD thought, anyway.)
soooo...we had to drive all the way back home so dad could hunt down my -lost- birth certificate.
lucky me, i was born in omaha, so if we couldn't find it, we could've gone to ...some place this lady mentioned...i dunno. but anyway, we found my birth certificate and headed back. got inside the building, and father realizes we didn't have the form we filled out earlier with us.
so father is all freaking out thinking we left it at home and had me quickly fill out another copy. (of course i half-jokingly told him it was probably in the car. *which actually, was TRUE! GAH! *)
and so some time later, i passed the tests, and got my permit woohoo.
odd...i find the picture they took for my permit to be one of the better pictures i have of myself (which i guess doesn't say much...i don't have that many pictures of myself...but i am saying that i look really badly in many other pictures...sigh. -is not photogenic in the least-)

oh, and hear this! there was this girl sitting behind us that looked, i guess, quite similar to me! (i didn't really get a look at her but..) appearantly, this girl was nervous as heck, felt ill...and fainted while heading out the door (she and her father were only there for like, three minutes ) now, there was this lady standing outside the door that saw this while she was handing out some sort of flyer, i guess...
and when father and i left later (to go fetch the birth certificate) she mistook me for that girl and said "I hope your feeling better." i dunno, i thought it was funny, but i couldn't help but feel embarrassed, too.


hmmm and it seems my boyfriend isn't dead after all! yatta!

anyway, it seems i'll be even busier this summer! father is taking me driving for the very first time tomorrow...and hopefully we won't die!! AND KAMICHAMA KARIN -CHU- VOL. 1 IS RELEASED IN 5 DAYYYYYYSSSS! (June 24th!!!! )

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18932399/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18932399/ Thu, 19 Jun 2008 14:51:05 PDT so now the index, middle, and ring finger sting like crazy! rawr! i've been possessed by my violin! my piano, too...but not as much. plus, i noticed an improvement in my playing ability, too. i wanna play some more, but my fingers won't let me...and my left arm was hurt every time i moved it when i put my violin down for a rest because i had it in the same playing position for so long...

tomorrow, father is taking me to try and get my driver's permit finally. i dunno, i still don't see myself driving...and i KNOW i'm a horrible driver...but hopefully with father's instructions i MIGHT survive this year no promises, though. okay, so i'm joking (maybe).

hmm...i haven't heard from my boyfriend in so long! since...Sunday. usually i wouldn't be freaking out SO badly...
but maybe it's because of that feeling of always being watched when i'm at my house...or that odd occurance with that strange orb of light that kept moving around in front of my closet (even thought i'm fairly sure that came from outside...despite it's odd behavior...) if my boyfriend doesn't call within the next...24-46 hours, i'm going to assume he's died mysteriously. okay, so call me paranoid, but that's really what i think right now.
nah, ghosts don't exist...around ME, anyway. ehheh...

you know those things that are always there...but you just suddenly realize their existance every so often, even though you see it all the time? like you walk into a room with a picture on the wall next to the TV...it's always there, and it's usually the first thing you see when you walk in...but suddenly you're like "OHHH! There's a PICTURE ON THE WALL RIGHT THERE!!!! " (please tell me i'm not the only one who does that...or screams that out loud... )
well...i see faint scars on the fingertips of my left hand...just faint one...but expecially on my pinky. maybe i noticed them (again) because of the stain making it easier to see...?

ah, yes, mangaluvr12125 luvs mangas? yessies? of course some may ask how many, or which mangas i own. (or not. i dunno...) but i shall share with you anyway! (quite rare i'm in control, actually...seems like.)
as of now (of course, there are new releases out that i MUST MUST MUST get!)
total: 122 well! not a HUGE, GINORMOUS collection...but plenty, still (but what, only been collecting for..4 years, 5 months, and 26 days...ish.) hmmm..
Sgt Frog, Et Cetera, Kitchen Princess, Aqua/Aria, Me & My Brothers, Chibi Vampire, Spiral: the bonds of reasoning, Kamichama Karin (hopefully getting Kamichama Karin -chu- soon ), Yotsuba&, KonKon Kokon, Pita-ten (+ the three official fan books ), Rizelmine, Yoki Koto Kiku, PhD: Phantasy Degree, Tokyo Mew Mew (and Tokyo Mew Mew a la Mode), MiNK, Samurai Girl: Real Bout High School, 11th Cat, WISH, Zodiac P.I., Azumanga Daioh, Heaven!!...and also an original japanese Bleach vol. 27 i got as a gift from my boyfriend.
so...yeah.

i try to avoid "series hunting" (browsing for new series for my collection) unless i'm at a spot where i'm completing all the other series in my collection. in total, i have about 10 unfinished series. 2-3 of those series are ...on hiatus. *sniffle* 2 other series have books already out that i still need to collect...(Et Cetera has been completely out for some time now...b... ]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18873073/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18873073/ Mon, 16 Jun 2008 12:33:46 PDT

sigh...there are a LOT of really good series out there that...well...have a lot less readers than deserved sooooo....i decided i'm gonna share some of my favorite series (within my own collection) with ya -the ones i figure could use a bit more publicity, i guess-

Et Cetera - by Tow Nakazaki
The art style is truly unique. it's a bit more "CARTOONY" than other mangas. (with a few...anatomically-challenged, inhumanly large individuals) but it truly is an interesting art style nonetheless. The story is set in America, the Wild West. Such a dangerous place, whatwith all that gun action, neh? but there is a very SPECIAL gun, the most powerful gun in all the west that fires unstoppable bullets that NEVER misses it's target. This legendary gun uses the spirits of the Zodiac animals in order to fire...
and it's wielded by a cute, starry-eyed, Chinese girl named Mingchao who has dreams of making it big in Hollywood! She travels with a man named Baskerville, who says himself to be a priest. But really, what is Baskerville's mission??? (hehe, find out!)

Kitchen Princess - Natsumi Ando / Miyuki Kobayashi
There's a lot more than just cooking and food in this manga series i can't begin to describe how well the mysteries are weaved throughout the series. one thing leads to another and it just flows so nicely
drama, suspence, triangles, awe, and funny moments. ...and some tasty looking food that you can create yourself with recipies included at the end of each volume!
Najika Kazami is a seventh-grade orphan with great cooking skills living at Lavender House along with many other orphaned children in Hokkaido. Six years prior, her life was saved by a mysterious boy. A depressed Najika only pleaded and asked him why he would save her, when she could've died and gone to heaven to her parents. she continued to sob so the boy handed her some flan and said simply,"when you eat something good, you smile. that's why mommy and daddy didn't take you. they wanted you to keep smiling." the boy left Najika with the cup of flan and the spoon with the symbol of Seika Academy on it. Najika made a promise to that boy. to make him the most delishious dessert in the world. Najika then leaves Hokkaido for Tokyo, to attend Seika Academy in the hopes she can find her Flan Prince. trust me, it's a great piece

Aqua/Aria - Kozue Amano (*Aqua is the prequel to Aria*)
it's an easy, simple -almost slice-of-life piece-the art is incredible! it's very detailed, and is simply ...breath taking *melts* it is beautifully illustrated. perfect for all art-appreciators. i dunno, it's just...so detailed!!
after 150 years of terraforming Aqua (formally, Mars) it has 90% of its surface covered by water. Akari Mizunashi arrives at the city of Neo-Venezia, almost an exact replica of Venice in Italy, with dreams of becoming an undine, the most coveted job on Aqua. (okay, so for this description, i just reworded the back of the first Aqua manga...but it just summed up the basic gist of it so well )

Chibi Vampire - Yuna Kagesaki (originally Karin)
Chibi Vampire is just ...too good!!! i always wanted to check it out...but i was hesitant about it (for like, two years?) but i'm telling you, i don't know why!! *maybe it was because it was OT and i was only, like...12-13?* but it's a GREAT series!! ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18782846/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18782846/ Wed, 11 Jun 2008 11:23:28 PDT
my poodle ...i think he's ill he's all coughing/choking and stuff >__< oh, my old, sickly poodle with a limp!

anyway, i'm sure he'll be just fine... T_T

-----
mmmm...why do i get the feeling that my boyfriend has the wrong idea about me...?
i mean, sure, i love him to death...but...uh...
i guess i just wish i can just come out and say things. sure, in my mind, i can tell him everything, but when he's actually right in front of me, or on the other end of the phone...
it gets so hard >_< (oh, i know i'm terrible...forgive me!)

it also seems this may be the cause of some misunderstanding...maybe. i mean, i know i try, but the words just don't wanna come out! maybe one day, though, maybe. *nah, whatever, i really shouldn't worry since we've only been together 7 months...*

i dunno, i'm spending a lot of time worrying that he's going to leave me. don't get me wrong, i trust dayton, and i believe him when he says he loves me and will never leave me...(although, i can't help but think about how those words must come out sometime in every relationship... ) but i don't feel like i'm completely convinced.

THAT is most likely why i wish i had just a few hours alone with him, to "set things straight." maybe within those few hours, i can finally truly share with him all those things i've been wanting to tell him.

i figure you're wondering why i'm writing this...lengthy journal...about this? well, i figure, if i'm lucky, my boyfriend will read this. but also, because it helps me sorry, i guess you really didn't HAVE to read this one...

-----

BOB RAMBLES....it's been almost too long since the last bob ramble!!! someone, anyone! if you have any suggestions (urgh, i've probably gotten rusty ) please, let me know! (i wonder if my bob fans are still with me?? )

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18736293/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18736293/ Sun, 08 Jun 2008 18:46:43 PDT my dog started freaking out and ordered us to safety (downstairs in the basement.)
and we figure out that we have no electricity, and stuck with no way of figuring out what was happening.
gawd, you never fully appreciate something until it's GONE. we finally got our power back just a few minutes ago (8:24 pm). today...was sorta tough. all i can say is that THANK GOD it wasn't incredibly burning hot outside because our air conditioner (obviously) wasn't up. our cordless phone couldn't work...sure, we had our cell phones and the phone on the wall of our kitchen...but if someone called our house, we don't have caller ID...(i guess that isn't a HUGE problem...) the fridge, stove, microwave doesn't work...so our food supply is limited. (had to store some of our things at grandma's house so they wouldn't spoil)
sigh...and without any radio or tv running...we had no idea what damage there was. (well, dad made some stops by grandma's house to check the news...) but from what i hear, thousands of people were left without power.

i don't even now if my facts are right...but i hear the tornado touched down for only a few (like, 20-30) blocks in millard? oh yeah, i hear Wal-Mart got struck, too...

anyway. today was a loooooooooong day. it truly is a wonderful thing having family members who are NOT affected by the power outage nearby i can't imagine how sucky that must be to not have that...
sorta odd how situations like these teach us things...^w^ neh?

okay! now that the power is back on, i'm going to work on those deviations again.

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18717597/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18717597/ Sat, 07 Jun 2008 16:45:25 PDT
A wonderful, wonderful person please, if you have time, check out his gallery. due to ...certain circumstances, he is unable to be on dA very often, but please, support him my wonderfu... ]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18649997/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18649997/ Tue, 03 Jun 2008 17:46:20 PDT
A wonderful, wonderful person please, if you have time, check out his gallery. due to ...certain circumstances, he is unable to be on dA very often, but please, support him my wonderful, wonderful boyfriend.
*end of advertisement! http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18623900/ Mon, 02 Jun 2008 09:07:54 PDT







yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

ok. BEFORE i tell you the results. i have news =___=
i'm feeling REALLY ill right now, and am chained to my computer desk. so i guess i'll be forced to ACTUALLY work on the deviations i'd promised...*so...many!* you may be thinking "yay, new deviations ...but if you're ill...why are you not in bed???" the answer is, simply, going to bed will make me feel even worse. thus. and hence.

AND AGAIN, before i tell you the results, i shall reveal the answers!!

1. WHAT is Bob's last name? DASPAZZ
2. WHO are the three loverly ladies that formed the Bob Rivalry Gang Three (BRG3)? TORUNA, CHIBI ONERW, MAXINE
3. NAME one of my favorite things (ok that question sucks...there's a wide variety of things) *one of the following + alot of other things* A LOT OF THINGS, MANGA, ART, -INSERT MANGA/ANIME SERIES THAT I KNOW HERE- ...etc. etc.
4. NAME something i HATE! COLD ORANGE JUICE, PLAIN EGGS, ABUSERS, TROUBLE, ...BEING ILL.
5. why isn't my cell phone ringing? NO ONE CALLED ME
6. name FIVE of my characters! *one of the following* BOB, ULA, TOODLE KITTY, ZOMBIE KITTY, SICK KITTY, PUP, KITTY THE MEOWNIFICENT, HARU KONEKO, RAION YAMANEKO, POCKY, IRUKA, SUMO, UMI, JEFF, LOUD GIRL, RIKU TANAKA, OKAMI HOERU, SAKANA PICHI, RUFFLES, YITTIKTAC, HORA, BOOFIE, OUSHI NISHIKIORI, RYO YAMANEKO, REIKO NISHIKIORI, RELYT, CYNTHIA, LASUMI KONEKO, MIRA, MIZURU, ARISA DASPAZZ, MOTOHARU KUSANAGI, WALTER, LUKE, SORA TORIYAMA, SHOKAMI HOERU, KANA PICHI, OUROU NISHIKIORI, TATSUKU KUSANAGI, CICI S. MILE, ABBZA, MOLLY, TORUNA, MAXINE, R&Y, NOMIS-HIME, MR. & MRS. DASPAZZ, SHAKESPEARE DITZ, FEMALE TOODLE KITTY, GARGOYLE, PURPLE BUNNY, ELEMONKMOOSE, HUSKER FAN, CLONES (SAD, SEXY, SHY, SPAZZY, ANGERY, CONFUSED, PERKY), FAILED EXPIRAMENT, TYLER, SALLY, CHELSEA, DARREN.
7. what is my other deviantart account? RANDOMSPAZ
8. WHEN are ONE of the two Bob the Spazz days? APRIL 30TH, OCTOBER 16.
9. what emoticon do i tend to use the most ? ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18293376/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18293376/ Mon, 12 May 2008 17:05:15 PDT )
remember: all of these answers CAN be found on dA! happy hunting (except for #5, which is more common sence than anything...)
there are NO trick questions
and as a last rule, anything following the lines of "I DON'T KNOW." is NOT a correct answer!

1. WHAT is Bob's last name?
2. WHO are the three loverly ladies that formed the Bob Rivalry Gang Three (BRG3)?
3. NAME one of my favorite things (ok that question sucks...there's a wide variety of things)
4. NAME something i HATE
5. why isn't my cell phone ringing?
6. name FIVE of my characters!
7. what is my other deviantart account?
8. WHEN are ONE of the two Bob the Spazz days?
9. what emoticon do i tend to use the most ?
10. how many people am I watching?
11. how many people watch me?
12. what "manga series" am i "currently" running on dA? hint: starts with..."K"
13. what is your MOST FAVORITE mangaluvr12125 deviation?
14. How do I abbreviate my username?
15. does mangaluvr12125 take requests?
16. does mangaluvr12125 still do fanart? why or why not?
17. What color is Sumo?
18. Who is Sumo's sister?
19. Who's the famous black and white kitty creation of mangaluvr12125?
20. Who is the famous black-and-white kitty named above's COUSINS?


GOOD! 20 round questions for you to hunt down answers for! to answer, just comment below! (please number)
hopefully, this isn't going to end up like all the other quiz/contests/voting things i've done and WILL ACTUALLY have a winner yesh? ...please!??! ...if you have time

prises will be determined once all entries are in! (remember this offer ends June 1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! june 1st, people!!!!! )

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18228540/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18228540/ Thu, 08 May 2008 14:52:51 PDT i'm not gonna mess with finding new styles and stop spending so much time trying to do something "artistic" and just work with "perfecting" my own style. yeah, stick with the trademark ML125 chibi-like cuteness...that i do best at. i figured that i really didn't HAVE to force myself to work with a style i wan't all that good with. and while i'm going around confusing all these different styles, i'm not progressing with my own, original stlye that so many people decided that they liked

just recently (ugh, my head, i apologize if none of this sounds logical or gramatically correct...if it doesn't make sense or if theres wrong spelings...my brain ai'nt working the way it should currently... ) i made an incredibly detailed picture (or one of the more detailed pictures i've ever done...that took a lot of time, lke, seven hours of striahgt work) but i decided it sucked (because, once again, i was messing around with an unfamiliar style) once i was done with it so i was about to just throw the whole thing away and do a simplified, chibi version that would've done just as well among my viewers (haven't started on it yet, but i'll get to it...)
BUT...i eralized that since i spent several several hours on this, i might as well post it anyway, just not in my gallery. you should be able to see it in my scraps today...

ive gots good news for you! i have a humongous pile of dA projects to promise to you! (though some will be posting by 'cuz they're fanarts ) i wrote, i filled out 6 whole sheets of (4x3.5) paper...of deviations. for you. to view. yes. indeed. *i think this mountain dew is rotting my brain.......?*

In addition to the above mentioned, i will be accepting any and all requests given to me (or ~randomspaz, since we are the same person) this summer! this includes any fanart you wish to see (note: all fanart requests (even if it's just a picture of your OC) will be posted under randomspaz. if you do not watch randomspaz, i can send a notification to you when the deviation is out )
and remember, you DO NOT HAVE TO BE A WATCHER TO REQUEST!!! (assuming any non-watcher people's care to read any of my journals...or visit my page, for that matter maybe once in a blue moon, possibly...)

and so, my fellow deviants...ADIEU!
AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SEND IN YOUR REQUESTS!!! i plan on being very busy this summer working for you all, whom i appreciate so very very much!

*to those who personally know me: if you have any requests, please write the deviation idea details to me via comment/note/email/facebook etc. otherwise i may look over it! you can't just mention it to be verbally and expect me to remember it!*

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18104618/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/18104618/ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:08:45 PDT

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

”Alright, goat boy, lessee what’cha got!”

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you reach?

The special green notebook containing all my secret thoughts that’s sitting on my bed


3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

.the news

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

4:19

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
4:17 o_o ooooh, cool!

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My office chair squeaks when I move…


7. When. did you last step outside? What were you doing?

a little more than an hour ago…I was on my way home…coming from school

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

super awesome secret upcoming projects for dA!

9. What are you wearing?

socks. …..
….
Jeans, a belt, all the understuffs that I should be, a shirt, and earrings.

10. Did you dream last night?

yes, but I can’t quite remember what it was…all I know is that I woke up twenty minutes before my alarm clock went off, and couldn’t go back to sleep.

11. When did you last laugh?
I’m pretty sure I must’ve today….but the last I REMEMBER was…last night while conversing with father figure.


12. What are on the walls you are in?

the only thing I have “ON my walls” is light blue paint on top of “dusty rose” paint (not pink…DUSTY ROSE. ) with a big ol’ tiger poster that I put up for no apparent reason.

13. Seen anything weird lately?

myself.
Nah, there was a dancing squirrel running about the back of a moose that was grazing in our back yard. But that’s fairly normal around my house >_>

14. What do you think of this quiz?

unique, maybe.

15. What is the last film you saw?

uh, I was procrastinating, so I watched National Treasure.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

Well…the majority would go into savings for the future. (y’know, to help support the family, mine, my “husband’s” college, and children’s college… along with other expences like bills, loans, etc. ) but I might spend a good few thousand on anime-related stuffs. And maybe a better tablet (mine tends to give out sometimes.) oh! And an electric violin :3 mm-hmm! I do wants me an electric violin! Hehe, yeah, but father figure says that if I want one, I’m going to have to wait until I’ve –moved out of the house- and can buy my own.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.

well…that depends, mr/ms interviewer, who ARE you? Ok…um…
I desire, and crave—no, that’ll get me in trouble.

Um, I don’t like entertaining large groups of people? Nah, I’m sure everyone knows that. Um, I think I’m going to have to dig through my old, ancient writings for this’un..
GOT IT. I used to be completely hopeless when it came to boys! Yes, at any given time starting in kindergarten, I had some sort of crush (all varying in severity and length of time) on someone. In my life thus far, I must’ve had my eye on… *counts on fingers* 13 (?) different boys? ehheh…kinda hoping the dearest, and biggest crush of all (x10) isn’t reading this though I bet he is. But he knows I love him ~DSTakunn
Nonetheless…I’m betting you he’s gonna feel upset with me saything this…

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17918193/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17918193/ Fri, 18 Apr 2008 20:11:56 PDT
A lot of my friends know (and I have made a joke of this) that I went through a horrid time in the sixth grade. Okay, so maybe “horrid” is a bit of an exaggeration. But no lies, this is what happened:

I was a young girl, very little thought on the future. Cute little crush on a boy in my class. Okay, maybe a little more than just “a cute crush” given some of the content of my thoughts. (Mind you, I was an ignorant little elementary school child don’t think too deeply on that.) I wanted a way to catch his attention. (we WERE sorta friends here. Sorta.) So, I wrote him a note. It’s purpose was purely to get his attention. In this note, I sounded like a depressed child on the verge of hurting herself. (which ironically enough, I became like that AFTER this event blew over. And which by “hurting myself” consisted of digging my fingernails into my flesh, pulling at my hair, or digging my pencil into my leg/arm. I would never kill myself because I have very strong ideas AGAINST suicide. ) I asked him to keep the note concealed from any authority figure, but that he was free to show the note to any classmate of ours. (okay, so I wanted attention. Whatever, it doesn’t matter, no one in our class saw it or knew about it anyway.) Very little reaction from him. Not what I was planning, or hoping, for. A few weeks, or were they days, go by, and I feel like I can finally forget about that idiotic note. But…
His mother found that oh-so-important note in his pants pocket. She turns it into the school, school calls in my father to discuss it, and I AM IN BIIIIIIG TROUBLE. Counselor’s on my case, and doesn’t see past the fake words written.
Finally, the school year ends, and I find, in middle school, HE’s moved to Iowa. Lost all contact with him. Not just him, all my friends. And I am tossed around in darkness, thrown into that dark depression. (If memory serves me right, it took me a whoooole semester to find any new friends.)

But, gosh, the pain. that was harsh. Each day, each week, it just seemed to grow on itself. It was constantly there. I was stupid, I was mute, I was ugly, I was fat, I had no talent, I forgot how to smile. Sure, everything’s peachy on the outside, but I felt like garbage. I saw no light in my future.

I wrote.

“To the one who sits, friendless, alone. It’s a dark day each day they do as such. Convincing themselves that’s what they want, because they can, they do have the right, but why must it feel so wrong? Hunched over, invisible to many eyes, mute to many a ear. Why am I? Who am I? What am I to others? A true voice speaks when the mind is calm, through truth, lies are found. Those who feel no innocent pain truly must have no feeling for others. Those who are like me, quiet and insignificant, don’t matter. We’re filler in this world, though what filler has a mind with either morbid and cheerful thoughts? Why am I here? To act as a pawn to others’ pleasure? Some call me depressed, but what exactly is it?”

Rather terribly laid out, I must admit. Ah, but life sucked big time.
All that time stuck wallowing in gloom, from sixth to eighth grade. (throughout middle school I was –trying without success- to find “something to cure me.” What was this something? Well, what else but a boy? um…should I be ashamed of that?)

I decided to turn to somebody for help. (‘cause we know we needed it, yes?) though, not exactly some “body.” It was an idea influenced by church. So all summer vacation (well, the, by then, remaining half.) I prayed. (and I know to a lot of people, this seems like a really low-down thing to do, but it really did help me through. ) okay, so I did realize it was probably a really selfish thing to ask God for: A friend to listen to me, and/or a boy to love me and comfort me. http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17867020/ Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:32:45 PDT randomspaz was...but turns out i'm my own neighbor/bestest friend?


-----omi-----

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17787196/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17787196/ Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:04:41 PDT
A
-What's your age? 14 x3 but will be 15 soon.
-Do you like apples? that depends on the apple
-Do you know anyone in the army? don't THINK i do....
-What's your favorite amusement park? only been to one...once...years back.
-What's your biggest achievement? ...becoming happy...after many other great achievements i'd rather not share

B
-Do you play baseball? nope
-Have you ever had your heart broken? ...yeah...(like 3+ times *coughcough*) but now i can't even remember how that feels anymore
-Have you ever been to Baltimore? noooope.
-Have a best friend? Who is he/she? Tell me all about him/her. well...i'm not sure i'm one to judge who my "best" friends are ... but my forever ever never "...whatever .." bestest best friend ...was Samantha. however, she moved to Nevada two years ago.
-What's your birthdate? May 27, 1993

C
-What's your current mood? concerned...worried, anxious...cold. wanting...
-What's your favorite color? don't have "favorites" really, but i'd say anything dark, like black, deep reds/blues, greens nice...purple....
-Have you ever heard the song Camel Walk? O_o dunno....have i?
-Do you think Carlos Mencia is funny? i don't listen to him. i know who he IS, just don't CARE ...at all.
-What's your favorite type of car?

D
-Do you enjoy starting drama? NO. and i never had...(ok, so i SORTA attempted to start SOMETHING in the 6th grade, but nothing took off... )
-What's your favorite day of the week? frisatsunday!
-Has anyone close to you ever died? ....yes. when i was in kindergarten.
-Have you ever been to Disney World or Disneyland? nopers.
-Are your parents divorced? nope!

E
-Do you celebrate Earth Day? well.....not really...sorta....no?
-Who is your fave ex? Tell me about them. you assume i have an ex? well...at least i don't PLAN on having an ex... >////>
-What was the name of the elementary school you went to? Oak Valley! it's a great school after all, it's a great school after all, it's a great, great school! yeeeeah, nevermind.
-What are the color of your eyes? orange-y brown, as i've been told...
-What do you think of emo kids? must i have an opinion of those who simply wish to outwardly case there innermost feelings and thoughts visually? shielding themselves from the crummy world in which we each exist? meh, they're cool, i guess. sigh...stereotypes..etc. can we let them be?

F
-Do you like your family? that depends. sis and i get along fine, dad's ...a'ight...mom? can't talk to mom.
-Have you ever met someone famous? famous to what degree? i'd think i haven't. what goods celebrity, anyway?
-What do you often fantasize about? stuff. uh....um...TOMORROWS OCCURANCES! yes, that's it....future planning! that work?
-Do you run fast? used to...now i'm all...old and slow...()
-What's your favorite food? food that isn't poisened is always... ]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17746858/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17746858/ Tue, 08 Apr 2008 11:56:11 PDT going niiiice and slooow.
but thats beside the point. somehow, at some time i am unaware of, i've gotten up to 4,056 pageviews. and all i can say is..."....i've still got a ways to go TT-TT" hmmm, i dunno, AM i planning something? i'd think not.
maybe i just haven't been paying much attention now that ~randomspaz is out of my way. (oh, and this is her/my newest piece, a sgt frog fan art if you haven't seen it yet. [link] )

i started this spring break with the idea that i wouldn't procrastinate and get that stupid english project done and out of the way. ...but now it's tuesday and i still haven't lifted a finger (or even looked at it, for that matter. ...haven't even opened my backpack ) but hey, i've been busy...reading, thinking about stuff....sleeping. y'know...BUSY stuff. nah, i kid. just yesterday i got a package. it's the next book we're reading for school Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. and i'm debating wether i should start reading it now (because well...its a book, an UNREAD book...and it's just sitting there...on my CD player... ) or to wait until we're actually going into it at school. but i mean, there are other books i've been wanting to read for a while too..just sitting there...(not that i'm a slow reader or anything, there's just a lot of books and...sigh...yeah, i HAVE been reading almost nonstop this spring break ...)

it seems that i've nothing new to say, so i'll leave you, my brave journal readers, so i may go off and ...yeah, READ again.

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17633691/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17633691/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:37:49 PDT She is…..ME. she is mangaluvr12125!
Yes, yes, for months now, you people have been questioning the identity of our randomspaz…and now, april first has come and her identity has come to light. Yay…..
Do I have a split personality? Or am I just a better actress than I let on? makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
But…heres a few things you may (or may not… find interesting…(hey, btw if you have any complaints or questions about my NOT LYING-NESS go ahead and ask )
Randomspazjm….yeah, her email. (does exist, I don’t check it often, but you CAN contact me there )
Those mysterious initials that haunted my friends…J.M….tell me. The lowercase j…when cut in half horizontally…what do you get? “i” right? I.M. cool, neh? My initials.
Hey, I just did what I could to throw you off my track…of course, that track was STILL plenty obvious. I’m still quite surprised that I actually made it to april 1st…coulda sworn at least ONE of you would’ve ratted me out.

Well, my mischief with randomspaz is over, and I plan to use that account for literary deviations and fan arts. (because we know my mangaluvr12125 account is getting a little…..stuffy )

So maybe you’re a little skeptical right now and you think this is just another plot by me and randomspaz to throw you off again as an april fool’s joke. Well, wrong, you will find this same journal on randomspaz’s page sent (hopefully) at just about the same time. *I get the feeling I’m forgetting something I wanted to say here… *

But anyway, lesson of the day: you can’t always believe everything people say, especially on the internet. You never know just who…is out there. So everyone, be careful! And try not to step on any of the active land mines I planted…

Have a happy, and safe, april fool’s day! and hopefully, I won’t be hurt tomorrow by angered….friend peoples and live to see my 15th birthday…

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17575264/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17575264/ Sat, 29 Mar 2008 14:53:13 PDT wow, don't think I've ever slept 12 hours before...

hmmm...it seems a lot of things that are important to me...seem studpid to other people...but it doesn't matter because so long as it makes me happy, that's all that matters
so hopefully, i can explain better in writing, than i could verbally, too all meh buddies...exactly WHY that 30 minute bus ride changed me so.

isolated. surrounded by fellow orchestra members. i turn away from the noise and stare out the window, nothing else worth doing. lately, i'd been feeling really down, and had been crying a lot. (yes, yes...i cry. i'm not so much JUST a bag of meat...) and I feel I was being a nuisance to ~DSTakunn...and i began to ponder.
sooner or later, i began to analyze the things i told myself:
"I'm such a b**** to people"
"I'm not worth people's respect, thus why i don't have anyone's respect"
"I've always been quiet and dark...I can't change to suddenly"
but then it just sorta hit me as I observed my surroundings.
--y'know...winter is ending, the yellow, dead, grass starts to turn green, slowly, gradually, but most definately. --
ok...so maybe the grass wasn't exactly my inspiration it was...a story i was...*ahem* writing. (though most of it was ~DSTakunn )

and suddenly, i knew the problem (neji hyuuga ) i was too far into wallowing in years old self-pity (well...the kind of self-pity where you tell yourself you hate pity...but it's really what you're after. or maybe it's just "pity" in the form of just needing someone to listen to you bitch about life )
ANYWAY...i decided i won't get people's respect unless i first respect myself.
problem: i don't respect myself at all..."oh sh**, i'm stuck..."
solution: BECOME someone i want to respect...
though if i go overboard with the idea (being a COMPLETELY sarcasm/emotion free person....) would be nearly impossible. and i can't completely change WHO i am. *of course not! there's no point in doing something so drastic* all i was after, was just toning down, and simply being happy.
i guess you can say...i forced myself to be happy but it worked! i'm more calm, more relaxed, than I've been in...i don't know how long!
*no, i didn't magically become a total goody-goody, but i did become more open to things.*
and now i'm ready to head forward.
and now, thank you, friends. you're all great.
and you, too, especially you.

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17508386/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17508386/ Tue, 25 Mar 2008 11:56:04 PDT
and then afterwords in april...we have ...districts? someone still needs to explain to me what that is exactly. ...katie?

busy busy busy really need summer vacation to get it's lazy butt over here. then all my wonderful watchers and "fans" may view all the great deviations i have yet to create... that and i really REALLY need to get through the remaining 1,433 deviations that have been unlooked at and sitting idle in my messages for a looooong time now (like, since january?) that's one thousand four hundred thirty three.
deviations that i need to view.
i think i watch too many people
i've been considering just deleting them all and just claiming to have magically gotten the time required to have gone through all of them. but then i'd feel guilty and i really DO want to read through all of them
TTwTT forgive me! i'll get to them eventually!
heck, i'm so busy, i haven't even really been able to complete ALL of my homework. i've got 6 1/2 hours from when i get home, to when i should REALLY be getting to bed. and if i can't get stuff done then...that's just sad. but maybe i'm really not that busy...maybe it's just my inability to not work hard/fast enough *flailing moth* hmmm.
and i haven't been getting much sleep anyway anymore...so i'm really tired. and i can't quite stay focused. and i can't quite stay focused. and i can't quite stay focused on the same thing for more than. and i can't quite stay focused.......a few minutes. BUT i am trying. (ok. i'm sorry about that really stupid....)
yeah anyway....i should end this before i start to bore you even more
yay phobias.
and remember that wind will not comb your hair for you, so hair ties should be quite handy good idea to keep one on your wrist at all times in case of emergencies. like gym class outside. ...running a mile. (i know the dreaded day is coming up...that stupid mile...me no wants to run it!! )

yeah, i may be tired, but i still seem perky. why's that? i get really REALLY hyper when i'm tired... trueness...but i'm like running around, spazzing, half dead... maybe i'm just not a normal person?

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17333152/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17333152/ Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:13:36 PDT cool, a day after my sister's second 20th birthday! ) sure I'll miss seeing them peoples everyday...but school is hitting me with another "busy wave" again. remember a while back i told you about how i dug through the garage for old books? (what was that, late autumn??? ) yeah....STILL haven't read them. still on the first book, page 72. that sad, or what well, i guess it doesn't really matter. lately, reading makes me feel REAAAAAAAALLY sleepy, and i nearly fell asleep when i laid down to TRY to read it yesterday...and my new koneko koshin pages were almost not scanned...(yes, i know...: "gasp! that's horrible!") speaking of which...when was then last time i posted the last pages?
i just noticed this, but i tend to scan the pages in two at a time so that you, the readers, may see four at once...so now i need an oppinion:
do i 1) work on two pages, post, THEN go to the other two so that you can read it sooner, but end up waiting for the next two.
or
2) do as i have been, finish both pages of two (four pages), post them together so that you can read through them both quickly without that wait.
i guess it really doesn't matter to me, but realize if i post them separately, there may be a longer wait between them than you would in option 2. i might not be able to work on it much. (this is gettig confusing for you, isn't it...?)

yet another thing i've noticed...whenever i go in to write a new journal, i title it with one topic on my mind, but sometimes i never get to discuss the topic i initially wanted to talk about
but i supposed i should stop chewing your ears off and let you go on your merry way. i believe you'd rather have me use this time working on deviations than to update my journal...right...?

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17322559/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17322559/ Thu, 13 Mar 2008 20:07:52 PDT
so today is parent/teacher conferences! yay! such an event doesn't apply to me at all! my parents don't go! lotsa exclamation points! omg! help! stop before it becomes contagious !
...sorry, still a little hyper from my previous journal. *i know! i know i shouldn't be! but i can't help it must....STOP!!! why's it so hard???* however, (yeah, back to the ptc) my ~DSTakunn wont be so lucky, will he....?
speaking of which, in the event that he reads this before the next tie i see him...."i reaaaaally need to speak with you. you may not like what i have to say, and heck, you may already know it, but i still need you to hear it. it may just seem like i'm nagging you, but i really am concerned and just really need to get your word on this"

i've been really tired lately. i've been getting like, 6 hours of sleep a night for this past week. (my dad blames a certain caller...but i wasn't talking to him that late or that much...so appearantly my family is, as i've realized so many times before, clueless. )
but it isn't that i'm not getting enough, it's just...i dunno....i'm just sleepy not ALL all the time, just all the time i'm not with....that one person...


anyway, i'm going to try my best to finish all those deviations i promised...(oh yea...just remembered that stupid essay i have to write!!! ) AND i want to be able to keep ~DSTakunn on the right track. *i'm watching you like a hawk, buddy T_T *

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17300198/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17300198/ Wed, 12 Mar 2008 11:52:45 PDT you do some pretty decent doodles...but you get discouraged too easily!!! you should post your better works!!! i know you can do much better. you praise my work, but y'know, since i've been teaching you, you've gotten really good and pretty soon there'll be like, nothing left to teach you! everyone, let's cheer on randomspaz, she needs the encouragement! (then again, maybe i'll make her post a bunch of stuff after April 1st...)

my friends are all so talented ^^ i want to join them all to do their best. i respect all of you, just wanted you to know that.

BE HAPPY PEOPLE!!!
and omigosh i'm sooooooooooooo hyper today! (ok, maybe not THAT hyper, i can get more hyper.... )but still pretty hyper!!!!!! hopefully this won't effect my test-taking next hour....

well, gotta keep this short, so "chao ya'll!"

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17285363/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17285363/ Tue, 11 Mar 2008 11:57:34 PDT michellemybell9 so i ended up sitting alone at the table. ...
and without paper to doodle on. luckily i had a pen with me (for once). i'd been planning on outlining my NEW KONEKO KOSHIN PAGES. (yeah, that's right, be expecting some new koneko koshin soon!!!!! ) and so i took this pen and drew on my hand
^^ this is a rare event...
then i realized i probably shouldn't be doing that and....so...
"one last thing!"
i wrote
"this is why you don't let me near pens"

riiiiight. well, i'm all caught up in stars class...so i'm just killing time waiting for the bell to ring...
-__- rawr.
but man....I'M REALLY REALLY BUSY ALL THE SUDDEN! ><
there's too much work. conferences are coming up (not that this applies to OUR family.) so thurs. is a half day, and i have friday off. i'll either be working my butt off on all the deviations that've been piling up, or sneaking playtime on my sister's wii. assuming i won't get in major trouble. (probably wont...but you know me, always paranoid about SOMETHING. ) is that a bad thing?
but hopefully, things will calm down once the new quarter starts

and today is 's birthday! happy 15th! i can't recall ever being so happy for someone else's birthday before (not that i'm overwhelmingly joyful...i mean, it's just my boyfriend's birthday... ) and so "i love you dayton!" you might get a hug later

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17178782/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17178782/ Tue, 04 Mar 2008 11:47:00 PST 2. age: 14
3. occupation: high schooler
4. residence: Omaha, NE
5. tell us whats on your mind right now:
someone special

6. got anything important to do today:
school work....

7. got anything not-quite-so-important-but-you-still-wanna-do-it for today?
deviations!

8.Been mooching off your friends recently?
no...?

9. any shout outs to any of your friends?
i enjoy ruling over you nah, but i do enjoy your presence. be proud. it's an achievement not easily obtained.

10. do you exist?
indeed!

11. is there someone you love more than yourself?
yes.

12. do you have a crush on someone?
i guess you could call it that.

13. if the above answer is 'yes', then do you have a picture of this person?
yep

14. have i thouroughly embarrassed you?
no, not at all!

15. well, it ain't enough. what is your most deepest darkest secret/most embarrassing moment?
if i remember what it is, i'll tell you. ^^

16. you didn't really answer that truthfully, did you? fine, didn't expect you to anyway:
oh...sorry then..

17. oppinion about nebraska?
WOO! omgilivethere!

18. well...i'm done. see ya again sometime soon, a'ight?
...oh...okay...*that was short...*


love ya all! hmmm...i'm in an unusually....good/bad mood today.

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17149519/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17149519/ Sun, 02 Mar 2008 13:12:17 PST ) but, i just wanna apologize to him. i'm just being a little selfish. and i'm trying to change that. but if anything came out of this, it just made me realize how much i do care about him.
---
bye-bye, Bye Bye Birdie! it's finally done, our last performance was just yesterday and now, i've lotsa (well...maybe it still isn't TOO much, but still more than i HAD) free time! i can focus more on school work...and getting those dA projects i promised done
so expect more ML125 works coming soon!
---
just a random thought...
sigh....there's nothing quite like a sunday morning at church to clear your mind of angered, sorrowed thoughts, neh?
oh..BTW:
my church (king of kings *omaha*) is doing there big easter service at the civic again this year (last year, it was the qwest...not sure why they went back to the civic again this year when they expect to have MORE people... but hey, it works.) this year's slogan is "escape the madness" and i have a *$5* shirt i got today with that on it (*planning on wearing it to school tomorrow*) yay. i'mma try to invite peoples

big event, it is! it's an awesome sight seeing so many people gathered in such a -large- arena for a church service.
anyways...
escape the madness....
march 23 @ 10:00 a.m at the civic (in case you were curious...and so you know you won't be able to reach me at that time )
come one, come all!

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17024309/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17024309/ Sat, 23 Feb 2008 11:26:49 PST

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
...my face.

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
...i own a hoodie?

4. Do you plan outfits?
sometimes the night before. but most the time i just pull some random shirt from my dresser...come to think of it....i just realized that i have clothes in my closet too...

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
a little sad...but relieved, i guess. it the weekend, but i can't see the person i really really need to see.

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red?
binder filled with notebooks that are half-filled with school work, and half-filled with drawing space

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?
aim. not that it really matters at all to me.

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
hmmm...fragments....something about a very ODD sort of "code" (kinda like a mix between moris code (i think i got that wrong...) and sign language...)
and some other...odd....things ...odd happenings at school

9. Did you meet anybody new today?
no...

10. What are you craving right now?
food-wise? uh....wow...a good piece of fruit. (banana...peach...kiwi...strawberries...blueberries...i don't care, just GET ME SOMETHING )
doing-something-wise? uh...well...i want to see...HIM. (~DSTakunn) but...hmmm...but i also wanna read through all my books (bookworm much... )

11. Do you floss?
every now and again...yes...yes i do. and that's a good thing. *glares evily at interviewer for seemingly no reason*

12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
beef and rice dish

13. When was the last time you talked on aim?
have i ever?

14. Are you emotional?
more than some, less so than others....i'm stable. but i do have my moments

15. Would you dance to the taco song?
no. i don't dance. ...and if i ever attempted to, you really couldn't call it dancing, rather, it's "spazzing"

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
no. but i could if i wanted to.

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
lick....

18. Do you like your hair?
30 min. - 1hour after getting out of the shower: no. it's frizzy and poofy and i hate it...
afterwords...it gets sorta straight and "asian-y" on its own and i wuv it
x3

20. Have you ever met a celebrity:
no...i don't THINK i have...

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
it small amounts...but when was the last time i ate it?

22. What are you listening to right now?
the whirring of my computer

24. Are your parents strict?
not ...really. but maybe thats because i'm such a good kid anyways. but they can be mean and annoying.

25. Would you go sky diving?
no ><;;;

28. Is there anything spark... ]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17014402/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/17014402/ Fri, 22 Feb 2008 18:30:55 PST (who knows about my little predicament..)

THE PROBLEM: ya'll ready know it...i'm not THAT bold that i'd share this here...

STATEMENT #1: two years ago, i saw my doctor for this same problem. he said not to worry too much about it, that it's a normal thing. so i got 10 "hormone-adjudstment" (kinda like birth control *cough cough* -ish ) pills to take. ...it stopped for 10 days, then came back really strong, but finished after 4 days.

oooookay...fastforward january 26-today. yet again, the same situation. understand?

CONCERN #1: "that's SO not normal...your doctor's an idiot, get a different one!"
...are YOU a doctor? i think not, my friend. my doctor specializes in this field. and if he's not concerned, neither should we be.

CONCERN #2: "go see a doctor go see a doctor go see a doctor go see a doctor go see a doctor go see a doctor go see a f***ing doctor"
...okokok fine, i've talked to my parents about it (finally) and they MIGHT be setting an appointment. it is not a big deal in the least, and basically all i can expect to get is the same 10 pills because "it's a pain in the ass to keep bleeding so frikin long"
so, i'm sorry, but it looks like i'll be alive for some time yet.

CONCERN #3: Will you be alright???
...i do believe so. O_o if not, then please come visit me at the hospital/gravesite/insane asylum wherever i may be at.

CONCERN #4: "oh dear, what could the matter be, oh dear, what could the matter be..." (where's this FROM, anyway? )
...I'm afraid that my name is NOT johnny, and i don't think i've ever been past curfew while attending a fair.
....BUT ANYWAY...Dad says it's just a hormonal thing...
(--uh...yeah, dayton? you can stop reading here if you want --)

--apearantly i'm a screwed up person with long..........s. yeah? usually a week - week and a half in length...is that bad?

CONCERN #5: "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGRUPREGNANT????"
HELL NO I AIN'T!!! what gave you that dumb idea????! (let's explain...2 different people "overheard" my friends saying "go see a doctor etc." and they just...assumed stuff...)

well...my rantings done... you may go on with your jolly ol' lives now

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16929890/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16929890/ Sun, 17 Feb 2008 13:08:59 PST happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! happy birthday dear ~roleplay4life...happy birthday TO YOU!!! ~

yayz! is 15
*let's give her more pageviews her gallery deserves a good look-through* though, i realize this is a little late...

and now and
wish to use this space to advertise their own dA accounts. *i guess they ALSO deserve a gallery look-through...it doesn't take TOO much time...but you might find it worth while....*

and happy birthday wishes again, to ~roleplay4life

hmmm....are there more birthdays to be aware of? indeed!

lessee....
my poodle, corey on March 9...
My boyfriend, ~DSTakunn on March 11
my sister, ~islandgirl12125 on March 19 (though technically...it's supposed to be February 19 )

sigh...birthdays....i never know what to get people
and i don't exactly have the MONEY....(hey, i'm 14 and jobless don't blame me! ) and no one wants to drive me anywhere...must be great to be 16/18 with a car and a job...
>x< phooey.
ah well...forgive me for ranting...

AND A HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all who this applies to!

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16867109/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16867109/ Wed, 13 Feb 2008 16:21:23 PST

1. Who is your favorite person?
Dayton

2. What is your favorite flavor in general?
...uh....something fruity? like...strawberry?

3. How do you vent anger?
i either :
type angry things,
mutter to myself,
or tell myself i'm being stupid by being angry and so i should pretend i'm not angry joyous! THAT always works! *so why not do it more often?*

4. If you had to get married now, who would you want to marry?
Dayton

5. Have you ever been asked for an autograph?
...i think i have i can't recall WHY though...

6. Do you like traveling?
sometimes...but i'd much rather stay where i am now...

7. New York or California?
neither. can't i just stay in Nebraska?

8. Have you ever been high?
no.

9. Have you ever prayed to Bhudda?
no!!!

10. Who is the fattest person you know?
uh....no one? O_o; can we just say it's me and move on?

11. What's your favorite color?
black, blue, dark red...dark green....

12. What's your phone ringtone?
depends on who calls me.

13. What would be the worst way to die?
something slow and painful...i'd say being stabbed/shot in an unfatal blow...? or ran over....or DROWNING! yeah, i think i'll go with drowning...

14. What if you had three wishes - what would you wish for?
1. blessed with a "perfect", healthy future family with ...you-know-who.
2. $$$$$money$$$$$ (because like it or not, we need it to survive and it doesn't hurt to have a little extra.)
3. for all to know God. i believe a lot of problems could be solved if a LOT more people knew don't you?

15. Do you think you're attractive?
not really. not very....not at all...? for 13 years, i've heard otherwise...so it was sorta..."wait--wha?? you don't really mean that, do you?" when i was told i was...

16. Have you ever had a crush on the same sex?
no. never.

17. Do you have a cell phone?
yeah. siiiigh....

18. Who is your enemy?
no one, i don't have enemies...i'm pretty sure it'll stay that way so long as i'm quiet, as always.

19. Would you do drugs?
no. ...hmmm...wait, are they doctor prescribed? if it's gonna save my life, yeah. otherwise, there's no way in hell.

20. What is your heritage?
well...mom's from the philippines...grandma's german...and grandpa's parenst were from germany...does that make me half german, half filipina?

21. Who can you tell anything to?
well...could that be myself? well...i don't know about "everything"...
but the closest to that would be Dayton.

22. Who is your favorite celebrity?
should i be in possesion of one?

23. What is your favorite female name?
well...it USED to be "Ellen" but i don't know so much about that anymore....i really don't have one.

24. Do you believe in God?
YES

25. What do you think of reality TV?
i don't care. it's there for those who like to watch it.

26. What's your favorite song?
chopin's raindrop prelude. among several other "songs"

27. Math or science?
science. (though doesn't this depend on what the varying LEVELS of each are? if we're comparing elementary level math to high school level Chemistry...i'd side with math...but...y'know.... ]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16807245/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16807245/ Sat, 09 Feb 2008 20:48:35 PST but I feel oddly calm and...happy.
*I'd be happier though if someone would tell that STUPID bathroom ghost to stop flushing our toilet every 10-20 minutes * (sorry, that's another inside joke ya'll wouldn't understand...but seriously, i though dad was going to fix that this weekend...)
I believe it all starting yesterday, friday.
We pulled into the driveway after a 15 minute drive from school. and as we do, two thoughts come out of the blue:
I should live as though i am watching myself.
and
...sigh...for some reason, i really want to clean my room *wow...that's a first!*
but this morning got me in a baaaaaaaaad mood.
i just wanted to sleep in and pretend i had nothing going on.
mom had already planned to take me shoe shopping today. (i've had the same pair since two summers ago. )
and so 2 doughnuts, a shower etc. and a sad glance at my cell phone later...
we're at the shoe store. i choose the first pair of black shoes i lay my eyes on...that fit. i just wanted to check out and head for home again, but mom had other plans. she, of course, wants to go and look at boots. i knew she wasn't actually going to BUY anything, anyway (she never does, she may look around like she intends to, but she never does) so i ask her to hurry along so we can GO.
so 10 more minutes go by, mom decides not to buy the boots, buys my shoes, and decides she wants to go to the mall...to look at purses
have i ever told you how much i loathe shopping like this?
and so, as you might've guessed...almost an hour later, mom (surprisingly) finds a purse she doesn't need (...i'm beginning to think mom just likes collecting them...) and makes her purchase.
while we are at the mall, a rare occasion for me, i ask mom if we can head to the bookstore. seeing how for most of this time, i kept to myself and acted happy to be shopping with mom...she gave her consent and i got two free mangas out of it. (why does it sound like such a bad thing when i write it? )

and so finally came home...shocked to see irish and wayne there...
and read my new mangas (i belive this makes 110?)
eat a late lunch...(arbys )
*actually gets to talk to dayton for 16 minutes *
...continues to read
and finally gets butt off of bed to start cleaning.
mom:"i thought you said you were going to clean your room today!!!"
and so...trying to be as thourough as i can with it, i'm cleaning.
happily.
oddly happy.
honestly truly very happy.
though, in those four hours, i only got my closet and *somewhat* my bookself/ computer desk squared away. no breaks, just straight on cleaning...i'm actually looking forward to finishing this project off. (hopefully tomorrow) i should probably get my homework done beforehand since i really should be dedicating all of tomorrow with cleaning. of course, sadly, i don't think i'll have time to do much else i wanted to do this weekend.
...what inspired me to clean in the first pleace? well...i'm through with my third shelf of mangas...i needed to clear the fourth shelf, unfortunately i have it set up so half the book case (4th-6th shelf) are hard to reach because my computer desk is in the way (if you're that curious of how that works, you can check out my manga tower pic in my scraps ) so, i guess i'm cleaning my entire room...just so i can dedicate shelf #4 to more mangas...?
oh, i am a good girl, after all, aren't I?

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16790110/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16790110/ Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:51:19 PST i've been tagged!...WOO


1. Is someone in love with you?
i sure hope so, because i love them so much

2. Do you know anyone named Dan?
...hmmmm....yeah. i do. just some kid.

3. What color is your couch?
nearest couch is like, 5 yards away...um....brown?

4. Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member?
yes. they have....TT_TT well maybe not "mistake" but they have said i look ALOT like my sister (*does NOT)

5. What do you currently want?
to be with Dayton

6. Favorite ice cream flavor?
....gosh, i dunno...
*can i have sherbet instead? *

7. Do you think that hair extensions look skanky?
should I? i dunno, i honestly don't care what people do with their hair...(or add onto their hair )

8. Are you named after a grandparent?
no

9. Does someone like you right now?
have i given anyone reason to hate me?

10. Say you were given a drug test right now.
Would you pass or fail?
definately pass!

11. Favorite pop-tart flavor?


12. Do you know anyone in jail/prison?
no

13. What are your plans for the weekend?
clean my room, do homework, practice my violin, watch anime, study my mangas, ...read....mope around wishing i could talk to Dayton...

14. Do you like the color green?
it's a cool color.

15. What is your dad's best friends name?
... my dad has a best friend!??!?!?!?!?!
*hold on, let me ask him*
"...i've had friends in the past but no one around here right now. no one i could really call a best friend"
...
i take that as a "no"

16. Favorite book right now?
well...i can't really say i have a favorite anything...and "right now" i'm reading several books at once...so can i just say the books i am reading currently instead?...right...
-Pendragon: lost city of faar
-The encyclopedia of MUSIC (veeeery interesting, i may add best non-fiction book i've actually sat down and read...)
-some old book i dug outta the garage one day (something science-fiction-y that has a really sucky title... )
pscha!

17. Who was the last person to send you a
text message?
one of my sister's friends...

18. Ever driven into the ghetto to buy drugs?
can't drive, i'm 14, and even if i could, the answer would still be "NO"

19. Last restaurant you went to?
....Panda House.

20. Favorite kind of candy?
i should probably stay away from it now...but there really isn't an answer for this...

21. Last voice mail you received?
from Dayton

22. What did you do yesterday ?
went to school, stayed after til 4 for orchestra pit practice...then went home and did stuff...

23. What's the first thing you would do with
five million dollars?
set some aside for the future...(hey, dayton looks like we ARE financially set *wink wink* ...*cough gag choke* omg JK JK JK!!! ) then go off on an anime SHOPPING SPREE. (only shopping i care to do)

24. How many hours did you sleep for last night?
8, for once.

25. Milkshakes...or Blizzards?
http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16772349/ Thu, 07 Feb 2008 15:40:48 PST Time: .....?
ML125policewoman: riiiight...52 mph in a 25 mph zone...one question: ARE YOU INSANE????

AND CUT!---
yeppers, time has been flying by TOO quickly.
school musical is coming up shortly, at the end of this month...
STILL need to get the music down...
There's just SO much to do!
I've also been feeling a little ill. (not quite "omg i think im catching a cold" ill, but....just been feeling horrible lately.) i apologize to all my friends that have to put up with me *bows*
*gets up quickly because side starts to hurt again*
*smiles painfully*
but you all understand, right?

but it seems that a friend of my cousin is a big fan of Bob the Spazz.
frankly, i'm surprised mainly that my cousin had actually said something NICE about me. just unbelievable....
but....one problem....i'm not sure how i'm supposed to contact this kid.
sure they said they were "crash 1005" *at least, i'm pretty sure thats what it was...* but....i'm not sure if they mean dA...or something else. here's where i run into another problem...i don't talk to , rather i can't, talk to my cousin. i go over to his house every wednesday, but i'm there to see my aunt...and jon is usually somewhere else...i don't always get to see him. but i might ask my dad if i could...
*can't ask aunt that because well...i can't speak to her above a whisper i'm really shy*

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16704808/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16704808/ Sun, 03 Feb 2008 10:36:56 PST
i stole this one from i know i already did this quiz, but it occured to me that since then, alot of these answers have changed ^^
so why not?
01) First name:
Ilene

02) Your nickname in dA:
ileney mostly.....among others...

03) Birthday:
may 27, 1993

04) Horoscope sign:
Gemini

05) Birth town:
Omaha, Nebraska

06) Religion:
Lutheran

07) Nationality:
Pacific Islander... (well, Mom's from the philippines...grandparents (dad's side) are german...but i associate more with pacific islanders...i guess)

08) Parents:
Edgar and Alona (or is it Maria Alona? )

09) Do you love them:
....well i guess i dont have the right to LOATHE them...but i'm not gonna die to save them...love? i'm not too sure about that. i mean, sure i'm grateful they do stuff for me...but...

10) Brothers or sisters:
One elder sister. Irish
and maybe sometime in the future, i'll have an older brother(-in-law)

11) Do you like the place where you live:
yes, and i'll more than likely live my entire life here. never moved a day in my life.

12) Hair color:
dark brown, but according to DSTakunn, it goes to a light brown at the bottom.

13) Color of your eyes:
Always thought they were just a dull brown, but DSTakunn says they're more...orangey-brown

14) Height:
i...forget...but i dont think i've grown much since the last time i took this quiz (sadly)

15) Weight:
less than i did in the seventh grade, that's for sure...uh...
not sure i really wanna share this, but oh well. what's the point in a quiz without truthful answers? i weighed myself this morning, and found i gained weight again...so now i'm 106

16) What school/grade are you going to:
i'll be a sophmore in high school next year...well...august.

17) What marks do you have:
in school? mostly straight A's but i do get some high B's too. have never gotten anything below a C...(have i ever had a C either? dont think so...)

18) Do you work anywhere:
nope, and i won't until I'm 18.

19) What do you want to be in your life:
elementary school teacher, wanted to be since i was 5. of course, my dad doesn't think i'm cut out for it. you know how much it hurts knowing your family has little belief in you? and when they know almost nothing about you?

20) Your life:
good when it comes to one thing....
otherwise...i'm stuck in gloom.

21) Personal quote:
"you call me mute because i'm quiet, i call you deaf because you won't listen"

22) Lucky number:
13 ...somehow i've been stuck with this number a lot... oh well...

23) What are you interested in:
mangas, music, art, ....anything really. that reminds me of a confersation i had with a friend of mine at lunch. if you could lock me up in a blank, white room, with nothing but a wooden pencil (or anything for that matter) i will sit there, heck, could be hours, and come up with endless possibilities. why it's so awesome, stuff like that. and i could actually be content, heck, believe that stuff..
it's this simple mindset, ("enjoy everything") that is why i am never bored. ^^
*wow, sorry for ranting on about that..*

24) Good side of your character:
I'd rather keep my troubles to myself than burden other's with it. this, and i want to help other... ]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16661288/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16661288/ Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:37:25 PST

1 . YOUR REAL NAME:
-Ilene C. Michaelsen

2 . YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
- ileizzle

3 . YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
- blue bunny (omg ice cream *ok so i wasn't so sure what animal i wanted to put down...*)

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
- micil

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink}
- red mountain dew (*code red, oh yeah! woo!*) yeah wow that sounds lame...TT-TT

6. YOUR IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, first two letters of your middle name, last two letters of your first name then last three letters of your last name)
-Lccynesen ( hmmm.....odd...)

7.YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (both parents middle name)
- Warren Devara

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)
- Black Corey


wow this did not work at all TTwTT


]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16615587/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16615587/ Mon, 28 Jan 2008 15:49:25 PST
school work...lots of it...

violin practice....when the heck is our next concert? ...we DO have one...right?

MORE violin lessons.....on Wednesdays: 30 min. with my aunt

EVEN MORE violin lessons.....i'm in the orchestra pit for our schools upcoming musical, bye bye birdie (feb 28, 29 and march 1 are the actual performances, i have until then to get the music down....harder than it sounds because some of this stuff is ...ok well, MOST of this stuff is slightly above my capability...but oh well, i'm pretty sure i can pull this off)

i have an abundance of dA ideas that i wanna get working on...unless someone wants to take some of my ideas to help get them out of some sort of art block or something..or have too much time on their hands...

i believe i'm forgetting something important.................ah, oh well...
well, unbelievably, i DO have some free time on my hands. enough that i can still chat with my boyfriend...
and actually keep 7 hours of sleep every night...
and browse around the internet...
i DO NOT, however, have time right now to go through all 1, 077 deviations i have yet to check (from way back like....what, a month ago??? )
but, there's no rush right? i'll get to them, i promise!!!!!
-----------------------------
oh wow i'm so giddy right now! and only a few (*counts 'em*...4....excluding me) know WHY...
shoot...perhaps i've said too much? is it wrong to say i enjoyed it?
i DID have a good time though, always the best. i wish there were more days like that....
ok, betcha ya'll think this is a perdy ...vague statement, neh?....
well....tough!

]]> ~mangaluvr12125 http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16331617/ http://mangaluvr12125.deviantart.com/journal/16331617/ Wed, 09 Jan 2008 15:11:25 PST y'know?
and so today was the first day of finals. today was easy!
but tomorrow's finals are bound to be ...horrific and nightmare-ish...
and somehow, I'm even busier now than i was before break...even though no homework is being assigned right now...
I've been selected to be one of three violins to be in the orchestra pit for our school's bye bye birdie presentation sometime in ...february?....well, i'm having a daily (or just about daily) after-school practice. the music is ...a little bit more difficult than i had anticipated and will be needing to work harder at home for practice...
but i suppose i could always get my aunt to help me with the music on wednesdays. if i'm this busy now...what am i supposed to do with homework etc. when practices start to run later until like, 6 o' clock? (which, i've been told, they will soon enough)
does this mean i won't be able to talk to my boyfriend as much?
...
...
ahem....i guess this also means i won't be able to work on anything for dA for a long while too...expecially since today was my last day in my comp. grph des class... I'll be taking a different class starting monday...
sigh....
well...at least there's SOME good news...
i've got friday off school....then theres the weekend that ALWAYS makes me happy
....betcha you wonder why "if i'm so frikin busy...why is your journal so frikin loooong??"
answer is simple.
it really isn't as long as you think...
and i'm just a really fast typer

]]> ~mangaluvr12125