http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:maning&section=today deviantART RSS for by:maning en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 08 Dec 2009 13:40:40 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://maning.deviantart.com/journal/24068174/ http://maning.deviantart.com/journal/24068174/ Sun, 05 Apr 2009 01:59:00 PDT
There are times though that we sit alone, completely lost in each other’s company, drunk with our sarcastic and sweet conversations. That we are each other: that my laughter is in your mouth and your anger is in my eyes. That I feel like my life sums up to just sitting beside you, inhaling your bright and forceful self deeply, memorizing the soft creases of your face, smiling silently at the expense of your wriggly feet. When nothing else seems to matter, when I’ve lived and died in your eyes in every passing moment, when I crave for nothing else but you, when I see nothing else but you.

But moments like those are easily lost in our realities. We are snapped back to what should be and what can’t possibly be. We are suddenly strangers in a very unfamiliar place. We go about recklessly into the open. Refusing to look back, denying ever feeling anything at all.

But that could just be me.

You are, for some reason, an extremely uncharted territory. A haunted house that most refuse to get close to, more so enter. An exotic food that repulses average people. I don’t hold your thoughts, I don’t own your reasons, I don’t know about the monsters inside you. Those that I know of are mostly the ones that you allow me discover. The rest I am blissfully and painfully unaware. Those that won’t be known to me for all eternity because I am not in the position to know, I am not the right person to tell it to. I…I’m just a friend after all.

Still, I hold dear those moments that we’ve spent together. They are far too few, far too insignificant to revolve a world on, but trust me; they are all I’m living for. You’re all I care about and my life is as full as it is empty, with and without you. I know I cannot fully own you, other people need you more, and you are right where you’re supposed to be,



But I can’t help but obsess about how good it could have been had you stayed longer, had you seen me the same way that I see you.

]]> ~maning http://maning.deviantart.com/journal/23707459/ http://maning.deviantart.com/journal/23707459/ Sun, 15 Mar 2009 08:08:40 PDT I am parched from your rain.

I long for your silent presence on mornings, your distant laughter on afternoons, your secret eyes on evenings.

Will you ever know about this longing from beyond your walls? That there is a vision of us, in another world, in another time, holding hands and running away from the reality of it all? That one look or one touch is enough to launch fireworks into the midnight sky, enveloping the entire universe with the love that is bound to last longer than life itself?

If you had known, would you believe it? Would you listen gently on the greatest confession coming from half a man? Would your strict compliance to the rules of love-who we should love and by how much-hinder you from understanding the exceptions? Would you even regard that the person standing in front of you is still the same person who walked beside you yesterday, only now I’ve attempted to risk everything with one foolish confession?

Can we still be the same then, knowing that I've loved you all along? Will you stay ever more distant, completely closing the doors to your life that you’ve slowly opened for me? Will it be really that easy to lose you? To toss everything into the ocean, praying that it will get lost somehow, never to return and haunt me?

Sweetness, I fear so much. I have too little to hold on to, and so much to lose. Love is indeed madness, a crazed maniac off to destroy the best amongst us. I am mocked by my own reflection. I feel like I have a lot of explaining and defending to do. I feel so alone in this, I feel alone with you.

Still, my every breath aches for you. I search for you constantly. I search for you everywhere. I will never stop until I find you as you have found me. I will eternally search for that person in you who can love me back, who will look back at me and say, finally, I am yours. Because you know that’s just who I am. Nothing else describes the entirety of me than being yours. And nothing else can ever define me for the rest of my life, even as we’ve moved on and concluded this game, than being owned by you.

Tonight I recall the brief moments I spent with you and embrace the reality that these are all you’ll ever let me have. Painful, yes, like bleeding to death; but you’re worth every drop.

Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow may be the day. No matter what happens, I am but one heartache away.





Yours.

]]> ~maning