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        <title>deviantART: by:maxtheushr</title>
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        <pubDate>Sat, 05 Dec 2009 04:39:49 PST</pubDate>        
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                  <item>
                <title>Amount Per Bottle</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/11381598/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 09 Jan 2007 23:50:52 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ New Year's Resolution:<br />
<br />
Learn the banjo if it kills me.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Baby's on the half tip.</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/9498819/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 26 Jul 2006 08:50:22 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I want an Oscar. I don't rightly know why, but I just feel like I should have one. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Pyrrhic is about right.</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/8093123/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 07 Mar 2006 12:21:26 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I won what I feel is a philosophical victory, though the end result was a week's ban.<br />
<br />
The things I found to be insufferable have been removed, and 4 of those 7 days were spent in gay frivolity with no access to DA anyway.<br />
<br />
The ban was temporary. The consequences for the vanquished have outlasted it.<br />
<br />
I'm in my happy place, and it is good. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Tampico citrus punch</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/5886452/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 09 Jul 2005 13:32:15 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ great shades of elvis.<br />
<br />
I am feelin funkay.<br />
<br />
Wondering if the anchovies from Pizza Hut didn't give me the Ebola virus or something.<br />
<br />
Soooooo if anyone reads this, buy me a LifeDrive, because that's the sexiest damn piece of nerd gadgetry I've ever seen. and you'll be my hero. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>the reconstituted family</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/4303230/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 12 Jan 2005 14:17:35 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ this tablet Pc thing is just way too  much fun. I'm sure I'll get sick of  writing out stuff like this eventually  but damn, just the fact that I can Is  nifty as hell.<br />
<br />
there we just the most time-wasting  gadget-y programs though like one that  you Write a score, and select two  instruments, and it plays it as a  midi,or the physics simulator, very  much like the one If used to waste By  time w/ in high school, apparently  developed by Microsoft and MIT, solely  for my bemusementAnd let's not forget  Art Rage, the painting and daily  simulator responsible for my recent  awful drawing thingies.<br />
<br />
 All I need now is a program that turns  this beast into a tv Remote.<br />
<br />
<br />
 That and Office 2003. Yvie! Bring are  office 2003. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Light Crisp Refreshing</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/3794104/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 09 Nov 2004 14:13:53 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I've got 12 people watching me. WHY!? I  suck at art things. In any case i  should probly go through the names, and  like, watch people back and stuff. I'm  oblivious and lazy which is why I  haven't before. but whaaatever. You  should all go watch someone with talent  and skill and such. most of my art is  either on a whim, or aimed at  satirizing pretentious jerks. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>carnation instant bitch</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/3308542/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 07 Sep 2004 13:43:00 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ sooooo much time to kill. got some  wacky hold on my account now, so i dont  know how i'm supposed to drop a class.  fucking fucksticks. class i need to  drop fulfills my upper levelw riting  requirement, but i dont have one or two  of the necessary other things to make  it do so. so while the class is also  required for other things, i would have  to take something like it later down  the road. asshats. waste of my time.  and since it's week one, every  administrative office of any kind has a  line out the goddammed door. they do  not make it easy is all i know. and if  the course description had mentioned  the writing requirement, i would have  been able to modify my schedule. but  nooooooo. even if i drop that class  somehow, through begging or pleading  random peopl eon the street or  something, i'll have over 4 HOURS  between my classes. 4HOURS. what the  hell am i supposed to do for 4 HOURS?  well, if i beefed up my laptop with a  new proc and ram... then again, maybe  it would be going too far to start  playing galaxies at school... meh.  bored, and ranty, and why the hell am i  even submitting this. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>those pictures where the expressway collapses from</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/3185383/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 22 Aug 2004 05:15:26 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ What THE FUCK!? who the hell are these  people and where do they come from.  every once in a while in my life, i'd  be in a situation where i'd think, boy,  this person sure knows how to talk and  not say anything. but this is  ridiculous. the things that come out of  these people's mouths. i'm starting to  think a professorship would be the only  way i could make a living by being an  asshole to everyone. I thought i wanted  to be a psychologist, and you know,  help people. but  i'm starting to think  that after every session, i'd just sit  there thinking, wow, that person just  wasted an hour of my life. now as a  professor, you still have to deal with  people, but they're college students.  they're supposed to not like you. so  while right now, somone just spent 30  minutes telling me about how he left  his window open at a truck stop and  somebody stole his cellphone, CAN YOU  BELIEVE IT? you know those, it was a  sony. ercisson. it was smaller than  that phone. you can attach a keyboard,  like a computer, i could send any kind  of text message all over the world. i  lived in southern california, i made  electricity, you know seismographs?  earthquakes happen in michigan too.  i  was riding my 1970 honda 750 down to  belle isle, but i didn't actually go on  the island. i drove back and there was  this restaurant, no a pub, i think it  was charter something, charterhouse,  charter inn, there were must have been  5 squad cars out front. i wonder what  happened. my boat is a ray car. it's  from 1959, it looks like a chevy, with  the fins on it. that's a sea ray over  there. but mine's a ray car. is this  place open to the public? there used to  be trampolines here. one time my  buddies and i snuck over the fence at  night and were jumping on the  trampolines, and this kid came out wiht  a gun and said, hey, you're all under  arrest. i said, hey put the gun away  asshole. it wasn't a real gun, but man  what was he doing wavint hat around, oh  well, i guess i'll go to church  now....... there's more, but it's  making me enraged just typing it out.  now since this is some lame ass college  student/ old person job, i have to deal  with these people. a psychologist would  have to deal with these people.  professor? nope. tell them to leave you  alone and get on with life. in fact, i  don't know of a single profession where  you have to kiss so little ass. see,  i'm rambling about nothing, just like  these assholes, the difference being,  nobody is forced to listen to me. they  can read at their leasure or tell me to  go to hell, or ignore me entirely. the  way life should be. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>who put the bomp in the bomp shoo bomp shoo bomp</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/3046726/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 05 Aug 2004 04:28:18 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ okay, i understand why i play a mmorpg.  i'm a huge nerd. i'll never understand  what makes people pay millions for GONG  ADHESIVE. something which has no use in  the game, and can be found on the  easiest kills in the whole shazzwazzer.  paying a ton for something that gives  you an advantage over other players,  sure. paying a ton for something that  will be used to decorate your imaginary  computer game house, no. but then,  someone's alreayd convinced everyone  int he game to hand over a monthly fee  in dollars, soooo.... ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky.</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/2853695/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 11 Jul 2004 04:07:39 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ fuuuuuuck. it needs to not be so damn  early. stupid job. I WILL DESTROY YOU!  not that i should complain, what with  the, getting paid to sit on my ass and  utilize the most random wifi hotspot  ever. but eaaaarlllly.....  grossss,  tried to flick a mosquito off the table  and he like, exploded. now to figure  out a way to sleep without them  noticing. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>preeow</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/2659445/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 14 Jun 2004 14:44:46 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ the Duo-therm Brisk Air by Dometic is  my hero. cuz its all humid and hot and  rainy and whatnot.and of all the places  you'd expect to find a wireless  internet connection, the guard shack   of a municipal park would be pretty low  on the list, at least to me. and yet,  here i sit, submitting a journal entry.  oh, and i don't know about anyone else,  but i find the name Rusty St. John  hilarious. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>want to get rid of ads?</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/2085850/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 25 Mar 2004 22:03:12 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ ohhhhh england was fun. as was  amsterdam. england is very very green.  and amsterdam is... well they've got  really good ice cream. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>assembled in china</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/1747285/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 26 Jan 2004 20:27:13 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ ive given up on the peddling yviepics.  now im looking for things in my house  that might be worth something. i know  of one thing thatd be worth something  but its illegal to possess. so yea,  thats out.<br />
<br />
also, quantum physics freaks me out.  don't like the idea that i'm really  just a probabilty that something that  can't happen will. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>oh my ford</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/1713610/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 20 Jan 2004 17:08:03 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ ok, that chaser caplet thing... the  hangover preventer pills, i just  noticed at the bottom of the commercial  it says guaranteed to work up to 6  drinks. 6! if you get a hangover from 6  drinks then you suck. suck hard.<br />
<br />
also, the price of yvie pics still  stands. 2000 for one, 2500 for 2, 3000  for three. now, this isnt limited to  one person. ill post them if people  pledge money up to said amounts. so  yea, you know you want them.  considering she has 1100 people on her  friends list, thats be like, 2.2 bucks  a person. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>hey johnny longhair</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/1702515/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 18 Jan 2004 18:24:17 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ wooooo got a scanner. happys. now all i  have to do is get pictures back from  yvie. also, if someone made it worth my  while ive got pictures of her. and by  worth my while i mean enough money to  escape to mexico and live in the lap of  luxury. because she'd kill me if i put  one up. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>and we asked for mojo nixon</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/1650622/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 08 Jan 2004 21:23:29 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ and they said, he don't work here. i  think my brain is dead. dead dead  dead.and while were at it we can light  up a doobie and watch porn. shopping  travel deals find a car. *sleeps* ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>how can you have any pudding?</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/1523321/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 11 Dec 2003 21:41:00 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ so i think i'm writing the next fic.  but then i think a lot of things. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>you blockhead.</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/1430196/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 20 Nov 2003 21:29:24 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ yea, so ive got writer's block.  somebody give me one of those creative  writing prompts. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>bonfire of the oddities.</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/1404033/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 15 Nov 2003 09:51:00 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Yea, so i started writing a new  minkEfic, but then i read what i had  written, and it was CRAP! so it's  gonnnnnne now. i think i have a new  idea though. so go me. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>I'm alone sitting with my empty glass</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/1363261/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 05 Nov 2003 22:08:00 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ such a good song the metro is. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>ahoy hoy</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/1330670/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 27 Oct 2003 18:33:27 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ poor poor jack mccoy. if people would  just listen to him, instead of like,  making his life difficult, then  everyone would be a lot happier, except  for the horrible horrible bastards he  prosecutes. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>nono, the brain in my head.</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/1318736/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 24 Oct 2003 19:08:32 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i'm mad you're mad, we're all mad ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>awooo</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/880018/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 26 Jun 2003 19:27:28 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ hey there little red riding hood, you sure are lookin good, and you're  all, that a a big bad wolf could want... they need to play that more on  the radio. also, ive been postin things again yayyyyyyy. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>woooowooo</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/845853/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 17 Jun 2003 17:43:53 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i need to put things here. found mad pictures from 98, but scanner be  foolin. maybe the evil one can scan things for me. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>i'm so smart</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/629499/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 16 Apr 2003 20:08:23 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I'm really really really wise. so narrr. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>gravel is yummy</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/608880/</link>
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                <pubDate>Wed, 09 Apr 2003 22:14:21 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ it's grey dammit. also, what's the deal with uh, everything and  everyone. with the exception of a few select people, everyone's being  spectacularly annoying lately.<br> ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>what in the whirled?</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/584307/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 01 Apr 2003 10:43:56 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ so, it would appear as though my roommates going home, which is  confusing as its a tuesday. tuesday's often not the best time to go  home when you have class and all. maybe this is some sort of sick april  fool's joke at my expense, or others. oh well. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>booohoo</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/574356/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 28 Mar 2003 10:59:48 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I am soooooo sick of emo. what happened to bands whose lead singer had  a cool voice, rather than a whiny  bitchy mopy one? Also, there needs  to be more electric organ in music, as well as more songs referring to  lord of the rings. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>my GOD in heaven</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/568492/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 25 Mar 2003 22:45:00 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I think my roommate has gone past his expiration date. He used to be  personable, and like, seemed to seek a balance in like, use of the  room, but now hes doing God knows what up in his bed with some random  ugly bitch AND has the remote. So not only do i have to listen to the  sounds of two disgusting people do whatever, i can't even change the  channel from the useless bullshit he's got on. HE DOESN'T even watch  tv! if i he doesn't go home this weekend like he's planning, i'm going  to, to paraphrase Full Throttle, BEAT HIM SEVERELY ABOUT THE FACE AND  NECK. with a sack of rusty nails. Now he's turned off the tv. Dear  JESUS give me the strength to resist the hate and rage welling up  inside me. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>i want fruit</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/536457/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 10 Mar 2003 21:59:19 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i'd like some fruit, or maybe some berries. rasberries'd be uber tasty  right now. also, despite what yvie thinks, panties is a wonderful word.<br>
<br>
on another note, i wish college didnt mean getting excited because the  caf now offers frozen bricks of premade mac and cheese. college should  be about learning, not grades, and partying, not eating dog food  pressed into steak forms. college is really a terrible place for people  not concerned with "playing the game," when it should be a haven for  such people. i wish i was somwhere like harvard, where you get a b for  failing, and things of that sort. instead it's all about raising  tuition. maybe if they werent giving football players with crack  problems full rides, the tuition could be LOWERED rather than jacked  up. college is everything it shouldnt be, and all that is wrong with  society. It's like how the government is raiding head shops and seizing  pipes that could logically be used for smoking tobacco from, while they  give homeless heroin addicts clean needles so they don't get aids. I'm  rambling, but a lot pisses me off lately. in particular, the years that  are supposed to be the most enjoyed, yet are rife with incredibly  annoying societal flaws. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>a recrudescence</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/525940/</link>
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                <pubDate>Tue, 04 Mar 2003 19:55:29 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ returned to the thought of the opium den styled room. Loooove that  imperial style. Asian flares, lot's of red. i think a circular form to  the room would be effective, with an open center, or a low table. with  a hookah in the middle! As a hooligan, and an outlaw, i figure it would  be a stylish alternative to say, a bunch of stolen signage. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>monkeys, all of you.</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/516999/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/516999/</guid>
                <pubDate>Thu, 27 Feb 2003 12:18:13 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I hate that i can't classify all these movies as the worst movie ever.  One day it's street fighter, the next, it's queen of the damned. let's  not forget the filth that passes for daytime programming on network tv.  Every single one of them has dinosaurs and women in loin cloths. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>On writing</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/513185/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/513185/</guid>
                <pubDate>Tue, 25 Feb 2003 06:40:57 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Don't understand why my sophomore year I'm taking a freshman writing  class, considering how I did on my papers in my JUNIOR level history  class freshman year. Oh that's right, it's required. Too bad grammar is  my bitch and writing essays on Walden is something I got tired of in  6th grade. No I must go to this class and be spoken to in some  condescending tone by some old man who I do feel bad for, whenever he  tries to tell a joke. But seriously, knowing the grammatical difference  between pliers and a pair of pliers is something that should not even  be assumed in college. It's something that should be assumed in at most  5th grade. The most complicated idea presented in that class is the  difference between passive and active voice, which is just sad for a  required college course. Also, if there are any grammatical errors,  please don't take this as a sign of my stupidity, only of an apathy  towards the subject. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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          <item>
                <title>Meditations on meditation</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/511275/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/511275/</guid>
                <pubDate>Mon, 24 Feb 2003 06:42:09 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ I'm trying to decide whether or not I should go to class today. I don't  believe I'll be missing anything, and I'm feeling very disconnected  from everyday life today. I feel as though I could do some serious  soul-searching, or maybe do something amazing like save a hundred  kittens from a burning church. Conversely, my abnormal psych class  usually makes me feel good about myself. Although last time it just  brought up the friend that decided I was an evil wizard with powers  over time and space. No that's not true, it was a sorceror. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
            </item>
          <item>
                <title>Splif and the Spliftones</title>
                <link>http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/510537/</link>
                <guid isPermaLink="true">http://maxtheushr.deviantart.com/journal/510537/</guid>
                <pubDate>Sun, 23 Feb 2003 19:57:18 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Think my room should look like an opium den. Could nail some fabric up  over these terrible off-white walls. Ditch the furniture and cover the  floor with pillows, maybe a persian rug to cover some of this damn  hotel carpet. Wouldn't need a bed since the floor'd be covered with  pillows, just sleep wherever i find myself. some nice art nouveau  prints over the fabric. Also, think i should build a bar into the  closet. Wonder if the school'd charge me if i stained all this wood a  darker shade. They always manage to pick colors that make things look  dirty. Probably because college students have an amazing tendency to  make things dirty. Just too lazy to clean i guess. also, i wish they'd  try and match hardware better. the vintage window locks on 6 of the  rooms windows clash with the greenish looking modern lock. Why's  everyone think that slapping as many signs and posters on the wall as  possible looks good? i feel like I'm living in an alcoholic's ruby  tuesdays. Doesn't help that my roommates a klepto and stole more signs  than actually fit on the walls. I guess it's not that it looks good,  it's just that you have this many different signs that you should be  arrested for.<br>
<br>
Also, kazaa needs to have the will ferrell as neil diamond sketch.  Funny sketch, annoying file-sharing program. It bothers me when I click  search, it can't find any files, then i click search more, it finds  around 15. Why can't it just find it the first time. And it's got  nothing to do with the person being online, because that happens on and  off, like every other time. ]]></description>
                <author>~maxtheushr</author>
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