http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:mear&section=today deviantART RSS for by:mear en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:28:28 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/10895780/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/10895780/ Wed, 29 Nov 2006 21:15:58 PST ...
..
Workworkwork.
Wowowowor-- ..workworkwowowowkr.

I'm sure you get the point.

Rarely do I dip into my artwork lately just due to a lack of time. I'll do the odd portrait for friends, but not much beyond that. And I'm alright with it. I don't feel emotionally deprieved, or lost, or what not. I've just kind of written off as a closed chapter of my life, where my photography was active, nurturing aspect of my life, and now it's just .. not, you know?

I'm applying to Uni in a few weeks. Sociology. Bet you didn't see that one coming.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/8476385/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/8476385/ Sat, 15 Apr 2006 07:15:56 PDT ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/7693849/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/7693849/ Tue, 24 Jan 2006 10:33:32 PST
]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/7427036/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/7427036/ Mon, 26 Dec 2005 22:46:45 PST
I'm creeped out and I'm now going to go to bed. But not before calling Ben. *tiptoes off* ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/7376779/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/7376779/ Wed, 21 Dec 2005 20:08:35 PST
I lied. I'm actually a Night Elf Priest on the Earthen Ring. Look me up, if you're nerd enough to understand the above statement.

I'll put some new work out there. Eventually. This semester has just been hell. Biology, Chemistry, Physics, hello. I actually miss taking photographs. But if Time just isn't permiting it right now, she'll throw me some later.

I.O.U more photos. ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6929312/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6929312/ Tue, 01 Nov 2005 18:39:27 PST ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6748931/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6748931/ Wed, 12 Oct 2005 14:01:39 PDT ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6571910/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6571910/ Thu, 22 Sep 2005 10:59:12 PDT .<;

Rant bitch explode. ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6513796/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6513796/ Thu, 15 Sep 2005 17:07:40 PDT <3 ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6367718/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6367718/ Tue, 30 Aug 2005 09:46:46 PDT
*exhales*

My desk lamp unfortunately can't light a whole room. Though, I admit, it would be a kickass lamp if it could. ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6328846/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6328846/ Thu, 25 Aug 2005 20:51:14 PDT

this is when i don't sleep.
---

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6205283/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6205283/ Fri, 12 Aug 2005 07:42:27 PDT
Ich muss hungrich sein.

I go back to school in less than a month. Whoooosh. That's the sound of my brain leaving. .. I don't think he's coming back.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6019129/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/6019129/ Sun, 24 Jul 2005 08:07:15 PDT
I have to give a big thank out to my love, Ben. I want to thank him for pestering me into finally returning my photography to the world. He was insatiable, so it finally worked. Also, another huge thank you to him for doing alot of the work of putting all my photographs back up. He had to deal with my perfectionist bitching, so anyone should get a trophy for that. Thank you, love. <3

On Friday, I photographed my first wedding. I didn't use my camera .. I used the Best Man's Canon EOS 3000, and besides it being film, it's a lovely camera. I can't wait to see the photos. Thank you to the families who put up with me having a camera in their faces all day, and to inviting me to the reception afterwards.

And finally thank you to all of you. I was shocked and tickled pink that even after being gone for two months, I was still on most of your Watched lists. It was a mental smile, indeed.

You're all stuck with me now. Ooohohohoh. ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5996400/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5996400/ Thu, 21 Jul 2005 14:42:49 PDT ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5975133/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5975133/ Tue, 19 Jul 2005 07:29:32 PDT
Hope all of you are doing lovely. <3 ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5335779/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5335779/ Thu, 12 May 2005 05:00:06 PDT
This account is no longer in use.

Take your thieving, useless, no good selves somewhere else. ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5332780/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5332780/ Wed, 11 May 2005 18:54:34 PDT
Maybe I'm finally starting to get back into my groove? Here's hoping.

Just trying to let off some steam, don't really take this too much to heart. ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5304098/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5304098/ Sun, 08 May 2005 16:44:29 PDT ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5171275/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5171275/ Sat, 23 Apr 2005 21:17:18 PDT
I choose to sleep now too, yes.

Yes.

And yes.

Good-night, yes. *scurries away*

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5133360/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5133360/ Tue, 19 Apr 2005 19:37:05 PDT
]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5058780/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5058780/ Mon, 11 Apr 2005 08:50:47 PDT
Something that has "tickled me pink", so to speak, are some of the comments I've been getting recently. About the photography, of course, but alot of them have been praising the little passages I write in my descriptions that go along with my photos. This has totally shocked me and taken be aback because I put no special effort into these whatsoever. They're mainly there to give the viewer a little something to think about, to smile over, to nod in agreement with. I feel they help to enhance the impact of some of my photos. That's the best part about Conceptual Photography. The thing I just can't get over is how much people like them. Thank you all, thank you very much. <3

On that note, more thank you's for all the wonderful feedback on My Abyss. Within minutes of having it up, I was receiving kind words on its behalf. This community is teaching me so much. And spoiling me rotten.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5023684/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5023684/ Thu, 07 Apr 2005 08:52:56 PDT
I'm not impressed with my friends right now. Friends at school. I have my reasons.

Ooooh, next Thursday I'm going to go see the musical Carmen. It's the dress rehearsal actually, so it only costs $10 to get in, opposed to the show night which can go from $30-$40. You're basically getting the same show, except maybe the actors might stop a few times to get themselves in order. I heart stage shows. <3

I am so tired. I haven't been this tired in so long. Even though the Daylight Savings time change was on Sunday, I'm still feeling it. It's thrown me off, and now I'm so tired. I need to reserve a day for sleeping.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5010705/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/5010705/ Tue, 05 Apr 2005 19:43:34 PDT
The warming weather has brought on a restlessness for the summer holidays. They seemed so distant around Christmas time, but now they feel just around the corner. I dread school sometimes. I wake up early, trudge over, the teachers make me feel stupid, then they sent me home with shit to do. And the cycle continues on. Call me melodramtic if you wish, but when something is the focus of your life, you're allowed to bitch about it occasionally so you won't implode and make a mess.

But atleast I have things to look forward to, like my beloved. And my photography. And the insane outings with friends. And the warm weather. <3

My hands are like ice, grr.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4991358/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4991358/ Sun, 03 Apr 2005 19:15:18 PDT
[link]

Here's an example that worries me:

Overview:
"In the event that we have sublicensed your materials to another website, it is your responsibility to have your materials removed from that website and you will not hold us responsible or liable if the other website refuses to remove your materials."

So, unless my understanding of the English language has completely withered away and died, this means if deviantART chooses to give my work to another website and I'm not happy about that, it's not their fault? And it's suddenly my burden to beg for these people to take down my own work?

Now, I'm not nescessarily worried about myself when it comes to a situation like this. I'm merely an amateur photographer. I use this site as a place to learn, grow and develop myself. But, what about an individual who uses this site for the same purposes I do AND to make a living? If their work is suddenly being handed off to companies, where will that get them? Since this is such a respected art community, one would think the work of artists would be non-exploited by the site itself.

This post is to bring to light to others to please -read- the Submission Policy. I for one am not ready to turn and run from deviantART, this is a wonderful website. But if you hope to make a living through your work, please know exactly what could possibly be happening to your work.




---------
On a happier note, please check out these wonderful projects going on in dA:



]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4962031/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4962031/ Thu, 31 Mar 2005 15:07:35 PST [link]

I can't believe he's dead. That's so fucking creepy. Because I've been listening to his stuff constantly for the last month. And it's never got old. If you like jokes based on silly human peculiarities, you'd like this comedian methinks.

There was a thunderstorm today. I loooooved it. That means spring is here. <3

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4945865/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4945865/ Tue, 29 Mar 2005 18:09:14 PST knew you were right about something so extraordinary. And that gave you a sort of a confidence. One of those content-and-happy highs. And then, you find out you were absolutely wrong. Sometimes not even absolutely wrong, sometimes just a little bit wrong. But still that fault was able to crack your confidence, and sometimes that ends up being alot worse than fully chewing your determination. Because then you're constantly question yourself and others around you. I'm doing both right now.

On a happier note, summer break is only about 3 months away. Yeesh, I'm already counting it down. :/

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4922982/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4922982/ Sun, 27 Mar 2005 09:00:57 PST ……..../\.\.../../\
…..…..\/\..\/../\/
……....…./.6..6.\
……......(.=.Y.=.)
……..…../…….....\
……...././…......\.\
…..((_/...........\_))
…...…../……….......\
…___\......^...../___
(((_____/...\_____)))



I don't know how well the bunny showed up for most people, and if I haven't already harassed you on MSN/AIM with it, there you go. Happy Easter, folks! Whether you use the holiday for it's religious purpose, or just use it as an excuse to eat chocolate, be peachy either way.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4903170/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4903170/ Thu, 24 Mar 2005 18:37:24 PST
I personally think it's horrible to have kept her alive for so long. I personally believe that the cruelest, most horrific thing you can do to a person is allow them to continue "living" in a persistent vegetative state. It's like she's stuck in limbo. Not quite alive, not quite dead either. She's trapped within her mind, a world that is probably filled entirely of pain. Sometimes it's better to let a person go than keep them here. We just don't have that right sometimes to keep someone here, and not let them leave this world.

Again, I want to hear some intelligent opinions.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4892842/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4892842/ Wed, 23 Mar 2005 16:41:02 PST empty. That's the only word I can think of to describe what I'm feeling. I feel heavy, empty, like a lump. Useless. I don't know what to do with myself.

I want Arthur to come home.

I'm apparently part of the "sound effects" crew for this Shakespeare play thing going on at my school. Fifteen Minute Hamlet, they call it. It's sort of cute. They condense the play of Hamlet down into about 15 minutes, and then do an Encore of about 2 minutes. The play goes on while Stacey, the music teacher and I stand at the side of the stage and add random noises. We have our instruments and various other little toys to work with. So, we had a quick dry run today at lunch, and then we have a whole dress rehersal tomorrow after school. Then we perform for our school on Tuesday. Then finally, Wednesday, we go up to Ancaster High for the judication. And there's possibly a second showing on Saturday, April 2nd if we win. It sort of reminds me of back in the 1920s, when they used to do radio shows and they'd have a guy off to the side, making little noises to add to the story.

I rock when I sit. It freaks people out.

I want Arthur home. Ugh, I'm whining now. *smacks self*

Bare with me for a bit longer.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4874365/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4874365/ Mon, 21 Mar 2005 16:45:03 PST
Thank God it's a short week.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4861936/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4861936/ Sun, 20 Mar 2005 10:26:09 PST
I don't want to go back to school tomorrow. I'm dreading the monotone rhythm of absolute nothingness. Ugh. Slam-head-on-wall-retch-puke-heave-all-y our-base-are-belong-to-us-etc.

I miss Arthur so much. It scares me sometimes. It's funny in a way .. I swear to myself that I'll never allow myself to become so emotionally attached to an individual. Because, from experience, adoration has gotten me no more. But I always fail at making myself stone, and wham, here I am, all nostalgic. I guess that makes me a hypocrite in a sense. He's enjoying his vacation though, so that's a good thing. He'll be all nice and tanned and chewy when he comes back.

Do de doo. I think I'll go do laundry now.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4845792/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4845792/ Fri, 18 Mar 2005 12:43:07 PST "Photographs are the proof that something was there and no longer is. Like a stain. And the stillness of them is boggling. You can turn away but when you come back they'll still be there looking at you."
-Diane Arbus


And how I love that quote.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4826697/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4826697/ Wed, 16 Mar 2005 08:28:44 PST
I have so many journal entries to read, yikes.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4788392/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4788392/ Fri, 11 Mar 2005 18:30:56 PST
I'm sort of a little scared about what my inbox here on dA is going to look like when I come back. I see anywhere between 30-50 new deviations from my watchee's everyday. With me gone for a little under a week, it's going to be hellish to look at when I come home. Rest assured, every piece will be looked at and appreciated though.

By the way, thank you all for the wonderful feedback I've gotten on Minerva so far. Maybe I'll do some photo manipulations more often, hm?

Anyway, if you're on break right now, I hope it's lovely. And if your spring break doesn't come 'til a little later, I hope it totally rocks when it comes along. Party hard!

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4758470/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4758470/ Tue, 08 Mar 2005 08:31:53 PST
Mm, The Media Arts room. How I miss this place sometimes.

So we bought a new harddrive. And now I'm in the slow process of downloading and reinstalling lost programs. Next will be the task of getting all my photos from dA. I'm still sad I don't have the originals, but, eh. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

I almost reported an individual to dA last night. But I decided to bite my tongue. Childish, snide remarks will be repayed in due time.

Does anyone else have any sights/sounds/smells that make them extremely content? Like .. something that's etched so far back into memory that you retrieve comfort from it? I noticed this morning, since the bathroom is next to my room, when my brother showers in the morning, the sound of the water puts me back to sleep. I was thinking since that room has always been my bedroom, maybe the sound of the shower has become a psychological sign of comfort. Anyone else have any of these?

Going on 3 months [of posting] here at dA, going on 3,000 pageviews.

Have great days, lovies! <3

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4741673/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4741673/ Sun, 06 Mar 2005 09:45:51 PST
I lost everything. I lost all my artwork. I lost the PSD files, I lost the originals .. the only things I have worth slightly anything are the JPG files here on dA. And even then, those mean very little to me.

I feel hollow. Like someone just took off a limb. And I know people are snickering, "Heh, this is why you back up your files, stupid." Well .. I'm going to be quite blunt if that's what you're thinking .. Fuck you.

It's the most empty feeling knowing you lost months and months of work. It's not even "work" to me .. it's sometimes the reason why I drag myself out of bed each morning.

I'm alright. I'm okay. I'll start again from scratch. Now I know the dangers. This is just a big blow to me on the grounds of my portfolio. A real hard kick to the guts and a few steps backward.

So, I shall be without a computer for awhile, I'm guessing.

See ya on the other side,
-Mear

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4737997/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4737997/ Sat, 05 Mar 2005 20:46:03 PST
I've started to question certain aspects of adoration. What are the limits?

Don't mind my rabbles. It's just one of those nights, you know? Aye, one of those nights.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4712938/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4712938/ Wed, 02 Mar 2005 16:30:32 PST
I'm rested, educated, confident and ready to face the world again.

And I have a new photo for you all. It sort of goes hand-in-hand with my recent learning experience. Enjoy, darlings.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4664658/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4664658/ Thu, 24 Feb 2005 17:57:20 PST
Maybe I'm a little naive sometimes.

So, Mike P., you win, hun. I give up. I couldn't make you see things my way, and I doubt you ever will. I can't fight to make you see things in a light you don't want to see them in. And it hurts, because I want to tell you all this in real time. Not through journal entries or e-mails, but this is the only way you'll see my words anymore. I can't believe you deleted my replies to you, it's like you were trying to hide it? I really don't know. I, myself, will never mention you again. I really wish we could have worked this out. I really do.

So, I think I need to go on hiatus for awhile. I'm peachy, I just feel .. indifferent to the world right now. I'm content, just a little unbalanced. Happy .. just a little confused.

I'm going to put the camera away for awhile. I'm going to look at the world for awhile without an artistic eye, but with a realistic eye. And what a boring world it will probably be. But I think it's something I really should do. Have I become delusional through my art? Has it caused me to see things that aren't really there? Has it impaired my judgment rather than hightened my perception?

I'll still be signing on, of course. I still want to make sure all of you are peachy and you're still pumping out the gorgeous work like you always do.

And this weekend, I'm going to bury my face into material, and skin, and hair and breathe it all in. And I'm going to enjoy it. And I'm going to savour it. And I'm going to be reassurred that -this- is one of the reasons why I adore being alive.

In two weeks, I'll be in New York City. So .. perhaps then I'll be ready to dive back into the rabble. Cross your fingers.

Remember, I'm not leaving. I'm just taking a little break. Or possibly a big break. To drain the soup out of my brain. Yummy.

Take care all. Remember how lovely you are! Keep your minds open, and remember you are artists. Whether it be through picture or word, you are enlightened individuals, the best kind of people there is. Thrive and grow.


]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4662829/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4662829/ Thu, 24 Feb 2005 13:46:27 PST
You, for whatever ludicrous, untrue reasons .. you've chosen to cut me out of your life. I have many numerous attempts to reconcile, you refuse. That's fair. It's your life. But I warn you, upon making this choice, you've also made a decision on your behalf. Stay the hell out of my life. If you want to talk to me, make that contact. I will listen. But enough with the damn tip-toeing behind my back. I'm not vain, I would love to talk things over if that's what YOU want to do. Until then, I ask you kindly to stop slinking quietly in the outskirts of my life. I don't want to see your name on my Recent Visitors list again anytime soon. Thank you.


***


Now, on to good things. No homework tonight!

Could this mean a photoshoot? Dum dum DUM.

And I forgot to mention .. I bought hair dye a few nights ago. Mmm, the violet is about to make it's stunning return. I also toally heart the smell of freshly dyed hair. Yay for chemicals.

Two weeks 'til NYC, meep.

I'm listening to Mitch Hedberg. He's hilarious. It's partially because of his voice.

My apartment is infested with koala bears. It's the cutest infestation ever. Way better than cockroaches. When I turn on the light, a bunch of koala bears scatter, but I don't want them too. I'm like, "Hey... Hold on fellows... Let me hold one of you, and feed you a leaf." Koala bears are so cute, why do they have to be so far away from me. We need to ship a few over, so I can hold one, and pat it on its head.

I know you're thinking .. LAME. But oh my God, he's hilarious. Just listening to his voice is hilarious.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4657394/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4657394/ Wed, 23 Feb 2005 20:13:14 PST
I cried today. Why? Truely, for the first time in so long, I am content. And nothing can bring me down. I care for a wonderful man, my friends are all doing good, the family is peachy, I have school under control, my photography is growing and being viewed steadily, I feel okay with my body, I'll be job hunting once I get back from my trip to NYC. I feel in control. It was -such- an overwhelming feeling at first when realization dawned. Hence why I cried like the little girl that I am sometimes. Of course, I will have my occasional up's and down's, we all do. But I just feel so .. complete.

The lovely comments I get from people like you are amazing. Thank you all. You help me in more ways than you can probably comprehend.

I can't wait 'til Saturday, love. I'm excited, can you tell? *wiggles* And I hope you're starting to feel better. Either way, I miss you.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4645977/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4645977/ Tue, 22 Feb 2005 13:44:40 PST Chin meet with tender knees,
And the tears were feverish to be free.
Nor could she stop the predetermined slip,
Not even teeth clenched hard on trembling lips.

Down pale expanses,
Halted not were the liquescent advances.
Flow and sting,
Vulnerability displaying.

Finally the milky edge,
Teeter on that warm ledge.
Drip,
Oblivion makes for a one-way trip.

Hand to cheek,
Whipe away the grazed physique.
You're only as strong as you appear,
Don't give up, not even for a few tears.

-Mear


I would have posted it in my gallery, but I want to save it purely for my photographs. I guess I'm feeling a little down, so to speak. I used to write alot when I was younger so I still derive some relief out of it now.

Everyone has a little life in them yet. Everyone has a bit of strength left. Strength is a psychological thing. If you hold yourself up, people will catch wind of that. So don't let anything get you down for too long. <3

P.S. I miss somebody alot.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4640134/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4640134/ Mon, 21 Feb 2005 18:40:13 PST
I've made the decision that if there's people in my life who abuse my friendship, trust or feelings, I will just drop them on the spot. No if's, and's, or but's. I've been too nice lately, methinks. I've been trying to reconcile with people who have no wish in the first place to reconcile. So, why should I bother? Why should I be the one on my knees, trying to pick up the pieces? You can't get blood from a stone, so I'm putting the needles and the unwilling rocks away.

I already want summer holidays to be here.

I just realized I leave for New York City in like .. 3 weeks. I keep forgetting the date is so close.

I want it to be Saturday. So I can be on my way to Toronto again. And be snuggled in loving arms, and babbling like the insane banshee that I am, and no one's the wiser.

Oh. Aahha. I almost forgot to mention .. today in German, the losers who sit behind me gave me a good laugh. So, the ugly one says to the uglier one, "Some girl freaked out in the cafeteria on Friday." And the uglier one's like, "I know. What a freak. Who was she?" And the ugly one goes, "No idea." So .. oh God, I could NOT let his oppurtunity go, so I get my snickering under control and turn around, put on my best fake smile and exclaim, "LIKE OH MY GOD. I HEARD ABOUT THAT. I wonder who it was." And then I turned back around and started howling. Zarko, who sits beside me, just starred at me like I was insane. Alban was the only one who understood.

.. Losers. That's what you get for talking behind my back (though .. I guess they really didn't know they were talking about me specifically, but still .. they're jerks anyway.)

Hurry up and get here faster, weekend. I want skin, damn it. <3

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4617963/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4617963/ Fri, 18 Feb 2005 21:10:24 PST
I sleep now. Kthnx.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4606188/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4606188/ Thu, 17 Feb 2005 11:52:54 PST

I've technically been here since October, 2004, but I didn't start using my account until December. And I just reached 2,000 pageviews today. So, that many in just under two months ..

You all are too good to be true. Thank you.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4592987/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4592987/ Tue, 15 Feb 2005 19:53:18 PST

I feel so content and mellow and loved. And it's all thanks to my friends and my amour. I love you all. <3

I'd be [hazardly] insane without you all.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4576294/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4576294/ Mon, 14 Feb 2005 05:06:06 PST
]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4554990/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4554990/ Fri, 11 Feb 2005 14:38:05 PST

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4537985/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4537985/ Wed, 09 Feb 2005 12:58:19 PST
And today is very snowy. Very, very snowy.

I sense oncoming catharsis. Because my conceptual work is starting to get plentiful again. And when my work gets like this, I know there's some big emotional purgation on the horizon. Good or bad emotions, mind you. And now I'm just waiting for realization to tap me on the shoulder and dance around. My best work comes from my highs and lows. I think that's true for any artist of any distinction.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4507559/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4507559/ Sat, 05 Feb 2005 22:07:42 PST
Excuse me while I go on a journey to relocate my skin.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4500685/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4500685/ Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:12:58 PST
I had a small anxiety attack this evening. I never had had one before, it was the strangest thing. I got thinking too intensely about some things that were bugging me and just, whoosh. That cold, paralyzing wave came along and turned everything to jelly. And I had to sit down for a minute to straighten myself out. Never in sixteen years have I ever had one of those until now. And I don't want to make a habit of it either.

School wasn't too bad. I liked all my classes, except German. I've already made an appointment to switch the class. I think it's just too intense for my little brain right now. Music this semester though, so, wee.

I think I might go take some tylenol and shuffle off to bed. Lots to do tomorrow. Stay peachy, lovies. <3

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4489349/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4489349/ Thu, 03 Feb 2005 15:03:02 PST
I love the tripod I bought today though. With it being $92 and some of the other one's there being around $240, I didn't know if it was cheap or something. So, I played with it for awhile, and it's lovely. I'm happy I bought it today instead of waiting, 'cause I probably would have shyed away and changed my mind.

I'm really digging this Bright Eyes album Chris sent me. It's really good. I don't mind Bright Eyes, but this is really good.

Now you have your cake,
Don't hesitate.
Come on, just do it.
Come on, just do it.

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4483139/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4483139/ Wed, 02 Feb 2005 19:18:22 PST
Friday is my first full day of semester 2. Music, German, Science and History. I think German is going to eat me, because I was flipping through my friends' textbooks and I couldn't pronounce a thing. I wish I could have kept taking French. Almost seven years speaking the language made me fairly decent.

I don't know when I'm going to have new shots up. I'm going to be busy like hell on my end. Hopefully I'll catch some spare time this weekend. :/

]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4469054/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4469054/ Tue, 01 Feb 2005 08:01:15 PST
Hehe. ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4456890/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4456890/ Sun, 30 Jan 2005 19:51:02 PST
It's one of those nights, you know. One of those nights where you're thinking about all the wrong things, and you know it's best not to. But you do anyway. Because it's just one of those nights.

I think I need to learn when it's time to give up.

There are moths in my stomach, not butterflies. I will not conform to the butterflies, no sir. ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4426664/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4426664/ Thu, 27 Jan 2005 07:49:02 PST
Thankies. ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4418221/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4418221/ Wed, 26 Jan 2005 08:24:03 PST
I finished my last exam today. English. I didn't even have to study for it - it was that easy. And now I'm done. Finished. Zip. Nada. That's all she wrote. J'ai fini. I have a whole week off now until school starts again.

I hope the snow starts to melt a bit soon. It was up to my knees in some places. I didn't walk, I hopped to school. I hate how a normal ten minute walk suddenly becomes almost half an hour.

Yesterday Natasha and I went down to the pier. And I snapped a few pictures, 'cause you know, that's what I do. Nothing fancy. I did get Winter's Breath though. I like the whole composition of the shot, so I decided to display it as a deviation. I haven't done many nature shots in awhile too so it was refreshing. Most of the other pictures I took are just of us playing around on the docks. 'Cause we're silly kids like that.

Kthnx. Done. Bai. <3 ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4391904/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4391904/ Sun, 23 Jan 2005 08:24:29 PST
I have to go get my picture for my passport done today. I'll be in New York City for a little while in March. I'm excited though I find it a little surprising to need a passport to go to a city that's only about 8-12 hours away depending on traffic. I've only been to the US twice in my entire life, both times only to Buffalo, NY and only for a few hours. This'll be my longest and "furthest in" trip to the US ever. I remember when I was younger, before 9/11, the guard at the crossing would basically just ask everyone's citizenship who was in the vehicle and what their business was in the country. And then you would be on your way. I was being told .. it just takes one person now .. one person they don't like the looks of and they'll turn everybody away. I'm also not sure what to expect in the country itself. The Americans who I've met when they've been on vacation here in Canada have not been too ... pleasant, so to speak.

It's all worth the risk though if I get to see NYC, baby.

My Media Arts project is almost done. I just need to add a few more slides to it. Then I have to get everything on disk. And pray that when I get to school tomorrow, the computers aren't acting up and they'll happily read the CD. Many a time we've sat in the labs and have had to smack the computers up one side and down the other to get them to work. And with the computers low on storage space, who knows. Then I need to study. Math exam on Tuesday, English exam on Wednesday. I'm almost tempted to start praying to some [non-existant] higher power to help me out with this Math exam. Because I feel that insecure. ]]> ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4367471/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4367471/ Thu, 20 Jan 2005 09:47:50 PST ~mear http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4363521/ http://mear.deviantart.com/journal/4363521/ Wed, 19 Jan 2005 19:15:05 PST ~mear