http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:melissa0528&section=today deviantART RSS for by:melissa0528 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 25 Nov 2009 02:28:10 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/28463917/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/28463917/ Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:06:47 PST haha. it's like having a week long honeymoon.

so here comes the hard part. GOING BACK. him going back to japan, me going back to real life. and it wears me out BIG time. when was my last submission? arrrgh. SCHOOL.


darrrrrmmmn.

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/27446539/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/27446539/ Sun, 27 Sep 2009 11:01:01 PDT Gaaaaah. Exactly a month to go.
Come on come on come on.
Darn calendar moooooooooove!
I WANNA HUG 'IM TIGHT.
I WANNA KISS 'IM RIGHT.
I WANNA GRAB 'IM AND BITE 'IM AND SQUEEZE 'IM AND ENGULF 'IM..who knows what more I could do to 'im.


urrrrgh.
gaaaaaaaah!..

sooooo excited!




http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/26865075/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:29:33 PDT
PONGloveISSAW
========================================


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People i ENVY






http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/26771911/ Sun, 23 Aug 2009 10:31:16 PDT

I'm sorta depressed and sad so I decided to submit art. It's been a while.

Art cheers me up. Thanks art

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/26560910/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/26560910/ Thu, 13 Aug 2009 02:13:06 PDT
kahit kailan naman di ako naging partikular sa mga materyal na bagay. kung anong meron ako, basta kakaiba, masaya na ko. hindi ginustong maging katulad ng mga tao sa paligid ko dahil ganun ako. wala lang, parang nakakabagot kasi pag nakipagsabayan ka lang. walang kwenta.nabanggit ko na sa mga nauna kong isinumite na kadalasan may mga pabugso bugsong kaprisyo ako sa buhay. alam ko nang ganun ako. bigla na lang may mararamdaman ako na gusto ko nito, gusto ko nian, kailangan ko gawin to ngayon, dapat magawa ko din yun at kung ano ano pa. sa kagandahang palad, kadalasan nawawala ang pakiramdam na ito matapos ang isa hanggang dalawang linggo, tapos, wala na. pero kanina kasi, sobrang emo ko. ganto kasi yun. dahil sa tinapos lang namin ang pagsusulit sa isa kong asignatura, napahabang bigla ang bakante kong oras. kaya napagpasyahan ko na tumambay muna sa loob ng laboratoryong may libreng paggamit ng kompyuter sa paaralan at magliwaliw ng konti. pero nahihirapan na talaga ako magtagalog kaya baka medyo taglish na to. siyempre ang una kong pupuntahang site eh DeviantArt kasi wala lang, nakasanayan ko na. Sa ngayon ang kinahuhumalingan ko ay sa larangan ng potograpiya, kaya naghanap ako ng mga aralin ukol dito sa devArt. Nang nakita ko ang mga likha ng mga awtor nito, namangha ako sa kanilang mga talento at kaalaman tungkol sa potograpiya. pagkatapos nito, nalungkot ako. nais ko na nga isumpa eh. alam nio kung bakit? KASI ANG GAGALING NILA.

alam ko sasabihin ng iba, "dapat mong itrato itong isang hamon," "dapat itong maging isang inspirasyon," "kanya kanyang talento yan," at kung ano ano pa. alam ko ang sinasabi nila, at ito ang isinasaksak ko sa utak ko habang nakikita ang mga gawa nila. kung sasabihin ko na ganito nga ang tingin ko sa mga likha nila, niloloko ko lang ang aking sarili. alam ko, at alam ng puso ko na hindi yon ang nararamdaman ko. INGGIT. inggit dahil bakit sila kaya yun, bakit ako hindi? dahil ba sa mas may pera sila? dahil ba sa nakapagaral sila? sana may pera na lang din ako pambili ng mga kailangan. sana may pera ako para makapagaral tulad nila. sana may angking kakayanan din ako tulad nila. pero yun nga ang realidad ng buhay eh. wala. wala ako nung lahat, kaya di ko magagawa ang nagagawa nila. sa mga salitang ito nariyan din ang AWA SA SARILI(self pity?). oo, may mga bagay din akong nagagawa at may mga likha din akong orihinal. ngunit di ako kuntento sa mga ito. hindi ito sapat. kailangan magawa ko ang mga nagagawa nila, kailangan maging katulad ko sila. at gusto ko yun NGAYON NA, NGAYON HABANG GINAGAWA KO ITO.

....

*nosebleed*

haaay. msarap sa pakiramdam. ang galing talaga ng blog. nakakatamad na kasi magsulat, haha.

sabagay, maganda nga to, para may pinagiipunan ako, para di waldas lang ng waldas. buhay. sana tumama ako sa lotto.

pag sinipag ako gagawa ako ng english version nito. WAHAHA.

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/26452860/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/26452860/ Fri, 07 Aug 2009 20:19:13 PDT

i DO intend to submit something in relation to your birthday, but gaaahhh. real life is frustrating

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/26367306/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/26367306/ Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:00:22 PDT I'm not sentimental.
I'm definitely not a fan of Kris Aquino.

I've always loved yellow.
Kaya tuloy lagi ako niloloko. Haha.
Cory supporter daw.
I like her, I like what she did for the country, and I think she deserves everything na nanyayari ngayon.

I never witnessed the people power in real life, just in videos and in lessons in school, so I have no, or little knowledge about what really happened, about Cory Aquino's real role

But with my mom and my grandmother crying over the VCRs being shown in the TV, I realized that she was more than a woman who took her husband's role in fighting for freedom, a former president, or Kris Aquino's mother(yeah we all know that). She's someone so many people had loved, considering the fact that they were never close to this stranger. She made a staggering impact in the country and its people.

We should pray for her, though I know we really don't have to. She already made a shortcut trip up there.

support!


_PS.
For those who don't know her, you could find her in the Encyclopedia or in Wikipedia.

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/26262561/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/26262561/ Wed, 29 Jul 2009 19:28:17 PDT
These past few weeks everything in my mind was soooo random. 2 weeks ago I went crazy playing Harvest Moon(darn emulator). The week after that I had devious thoughts of selling anything to get one of those qwerty keyboard phones(I could even settle for an N-Gage), and that sudden frustrating desire came absolutely out of no where. Good thing it had passed already LOL. After that I went out with my friends in the weekend, then prepared(oh COME ON) for the prelim exams.

It's already Thursday, the last day of the prelim week, and I've been really ogling to study for my Theology exam..but heck. I thought I should just, well, at least update my blog. I'm too lazy to write too, draw and even take pictures. Gaaaah. I'm too lazy to do practically ANYTHING. I don't even drink anymore

So anyway, back to reality. 'Ope something comes up that would force me to do something..CREATIVE.

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/25517388/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/25517388/ Wed, 24 Jun 2009 12:52:00 PDT
June 19, 2009 - Jose Rizal's birthday, special provincial holiday, classes canceled.

June 24, 2009 - Feast of our school's patron, St. John the Baptist, classes canceled.

June 25, 2009 - PAGASA declared the province under signal no.2 due to typhoon Feria, classes canceled.

June 26, 2009-onwards - no classes forever.

DARN! I soooooooo want to graduate already, but they suspended classes one after the other. I'm not really that active-I-need-to-go-to-school-on-time-or-I-can-never-forgive-myself student who loves to go to attend classes(I prefer sleeping instead), but I'm really sick of it that I just wanted to just get the whole thing over with. I've already wasted ample time fooling around with my subjects and units. When I finally had the energy and willingness to finish my studies, they suddenly had to start cutting out classes even before I get a chance to cut mine. Arrrghhh. Now I'm stuck again here in my room glued to a book or a 16th century laptop(haha)instead of pissing off teachers with my ever annoying but witty side comments and inquiries. Gaaaaaahhh. These words don't usually cross my lips, but..

I WANNA GO TO SCHOOL.sssssh.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh~!

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/25197052/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/25197052/ Mon, 08 Jun 2009 12:15:16 PDT
So anyway, here's the deal:

* Used, but working and in good condition
* Wifi ready
* 2-3 hours battery life
* Weighs no more than 3kgs
* 15k-20k on an installment basis(4-6 mos.)

Yeah I know, I'm asking too much but..who knows? Some angel might stumble onto this blog, and well, help me out, instead of actually gain from it.

*Aii..you're not living in an ideal world*

BIG THANKS~!

and yeah, I'm still here. Just too lazy to do art and all. LOL. Hope to be back soon


PONGloveISSAW
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People i LOVE





People i ENVY




http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/24774130/ Fri, 15 May 2009 17:28:50 PDT Yan tuloy I got disappointed.

Anyway, I was browsing in Deviantart when I was again, awed by Paul Tan's [link] works. So I continued to look through his new submissions and noticed that 5 letter word again. CANON. Yep, the yearning is still there. How could he be so lucky to have his toys and an awesome studio? Can't I have that too?

So I guess I could drool a little more again. Google. Click. Canon Philippines. Click. Product comparison. Click. Select model, scroll. Down. Down. Down. And yeah, that was the moment where I instantly fell in love. CANON EOS 5D MARK II. Price at eBay.ph ranges from Php120,000 - 130,000. Canon has not posted its SRP yet, since it really hasn't been out totally. So okay, I'm not a Pro, but I can dream, can't I? Why settle on learning in a less complicated camera if you can use a really complicated one?

And look, it's so dAmn pretty.^_^
[link]

21 Megapixels.
Auto Lighting Optimizer.
Full Auto, Creative Auto: ISO 100 - 3200 set automatically P, Tv, Av, M, B:ISO 100 - 6400 (in 1/3-stop increments) settable, Auto, or expandable to ISO 50(L), ISO 12800(H1), or ISO 25600(H2).
3.9 fps continuous shooting speed, up to a maximum burst of 78 shots.
Shutter speed 1/8000 sec.
35-zone TTL full-aperture metering.
Approx weight of 810g.

SIGH. That's worth 2 years of tuition fees. So I guess I could settle for a 40D. In time, girl, in time. I swear I'll buy one of those myself. Hindi yun aasa na lang ulit ako



PONGloveISSAW
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People i LOVE





People i ENVY


http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/24400044/ Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:54:20 PDT

as i finally got home from our escapade, i laid on the bed and covered my face with a pillow, then i started crying. i realized i was REALLY gonna miss him once he leaves. damn, i still miss him even when we're together. even a night without him really tears me apart. sooo not the DRAMA. i really go jelly and cheezy when it's about him. i guess this is what they call REAL love, not just a simple, childish infatuation.

when i think about him, i can't stop wishing that things were different. that i'm old enough to marry without parents' consent, that i'm done with my studies so i could run off with him, that he doesn't have to leave again..

and that that darn pregnancy test show two lines.

uhhh, i guess i really meant the last one. haha. when we were talking about that in the past, i was SURE or at least i thought i was that i don't want one. but darn, i know now that i do. i really do. i won't have it with another man. it has to be HIM.

damn. i'm starting to cry again. we'll meeting up later, but it's gonna be a short one.

*sigh*

lighten up.


PONGloveISSAW
========================================


People i LOVE





People i ENVY



~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/24137106/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/24137106/ Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:27:54 PDT HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.
HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.
HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.
HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.HAPPY.

ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!
ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!
ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!
ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!
ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!
ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!ECSTATIC!

AND IN LOVE

after 9 long months of waiting to be with him, we finally met last tuesday. I dropped off the taxi, fixed my hair and walked past the people whom i have no connection with. when i entered the mall, i felt extremely nervous. i think i entered every comfort room i passed through.

i was shaking as i walked through the rack of clothes and shoes piled up in the department store, looking for him. my heart was pounding faster than normal, and my hands are both cold and sweaty from the tension. i was experiencing an emotional turmoil right there and there, in the middle of busy and noisy people. in my mind, so many questions popped up in my mind: "Will he like me?" "what if he thinks i'm fat and won't dare go out with me?" "what if i realize i don't like him?" i eagerly looked for him, hoping i could spot him before he sees me.

and there he was. has anyone fainted from an eyeball? i could happily volunteer as the first one. i really thought i'd faint. but what do you know, he caught me before i did. i was shocked actually, he hugged me so tight the first time he had a glimpse of me. i was literally FROZEN.

oh well. i don't kiss and tellü. haha.

i'm CRAZY about him. and i know i will be for a very LOOONG time.


PONGloveISSAW
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People i LOVE





People i ENVY


... ]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/24004479/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/24004479/ Thu, 02 Apr 2009 13:44:27 PDT
So anyway, our grades were finally distributed yesterday morning and looked like a went on with the semester quite well. except a 77 in Theology-Christ and the Church, all my grades have been reasonable enough for my mom. yipee.

Our summer vacation has officially started. beaches here i come! unfortunately, it's been raining for several days already. so much for start of summeerrerer. sets of friends have already invited me in their own escapades which meant i really had to choose. i can't really go to all of it, can i? haha.

Things i SHOULD do this summer:
1. Shed off 20-30 lbs. (haha)
2. Give my guitar sum lovin'.
3. Finish the dA Quest.
4. Finish my Novel.
5. Get a dog.
6. Watch every movie i can get my hands on to.

and lastly,

7. Try to get more sleep.

~

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People i LOVE





People i ENVY




~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/23898037/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/23898037/ Thu, 26 Mar 2009 11:19:32 PDT
so anyway, at the last part of my previous journal entry i've stated my love for the 16th century. the people, the wardrobe, the politics and the art. i even dream about it most of the time. last summer, i started this novel but never got to continue it when the school year commenced.

last monday night, the story invaded my dreams once more. me in the wardrobe with the accent and the grammar and all. so decided to get the notebook through that rubbish in the closet (you don't wanna know what goes on in there), pick up the pen and start writing again. i've written 10 pages in less than 30 minutes. lol. the words and scenes flowed very smoothly, as if it was initially written already in my mind.

Here's an intro to the story:

Alexandra Neels woke up one day in a room filled with maidens and a cute guy with a strange accent. She then discovers she just traveled through time and dropped off in the 16th century.

The son of the Duke, Oliver de Werenne, was astonished when he saw a beautiful young lady soundly asleep in his family's barn. He took her in, gave her food and shelter, but he did not intend of being attached to her. With his mother just passing away, he could not bear another loss. But how could the two ignore what fate has in store for them?

ayt! yeah. i'm planning to finish it before the summer ends, or it might spend another year unfinished in my closet. i really should change that attitude. aakkkh. wanna see several quotes?

"She fits just perfectly, like a missing piece of a puzzle.." ~ Oliver de Werenne

"Time and space mean nothing to me Oliver, if in those clusters of reality, we are not together.." ~ Alexandra Neels

OMG. haha.
i'm now officially a HOPELESS ROMANTIC.
this is what you get for reading Mills and Boon since 4th Grade. lawl.

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/23815463/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/23815463/ Mon, 23 Mar 2009 03:19:22 PDT V-E-C-T-O-R.
V-E-C-T-O-R.
V-E-C-T-O-R.
V-E-C-T-O-R.

how i wish doin a vector is that easy. ive been stuck in Photoshop CS3 for almost 12 hours and i haven't finished a successful one..not even a simple one.

so okay, i'll stick to line art instead and put some layered colors, yada yada..but hell. who am i kidding? it's still not a vector. i dont know why or how, but it seems like that i had a sudden craving for vector art(wow that should have been chocolate), and i have this feeling of foreboding emptiness(whoo) for not having the talent to have a union with technology and create a beautiful and modern piece of art. darn. i wonder if da vinci would be able to get a hold of this.

anyway, i plan to be at it for quite a while. i'm one hell of a quitter, and my mom bets on it that i wouldn't last a month trying to figure this thing out.

here's sumthin i had whipped up so far.. am i in the right track?

[IMG][link]

i just finished reading The Da Vince Code for the nth time. haha. still can't go over it. i've always dreamed of traveling space and time. during the renaissance. i soooooo dig the wardrobe. and of course a "da vinci geek" such as i would be very delighted to meet the weirdo and like, live with him forever, be a servant or assistant or sumthin.. which gave me an idea who to vectorize.. O,Lame Saint by the Draconian Devil. ahaha. so excited and perplexed!

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/23682969/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/23682969/ Fri, 13 Mar 2009 19:20:40 PDT
i've experienced so much in interacting with people. i soooo love socializing. but last night i realized i'm really friendly. i have different set of friends, but i did not expect that it can come to a point where in these different sets of friends could clash together. how i wish there's always peace and harmony among the same race, among the people living the same space and among those who have certain differences. honestly, i know i don't have the power to do that. all i know is i'm great in going in between. hahaü i have never ever taken sides to a conflict. i always go for a midway, one way or another. there are even times that i stay nonchalant. and there really are times that i go "prrrrrrrrt!"all the way. whether it's between friends, between relationships or between family, i have this talent for bringing them together.

so that makes me a what.?
whew. a referee and ms friendship!wow.ü

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/23658098/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/23658098/ Thu, 12 Mar 2009 11:33:54 PDT
wednesday afternoon, march 11, 2009, he announced that we'll be having our final practical exam on march 13. that means he has given has a day and a half to practice. wow. should i really be grateful? so okay, i have a routine and i'm confident enough that i'll pull it through, but here's the lovely part: it should contain a synchronized routine, a tandem routine, and several individual routines. WOW. but wait, there's more! we're allowed to wear costumes! yay! not.

after several discussions on what me and my groupmates want as our theme, we decided on having a Gothic-Classical-Rock theme. i just mixed the music we're gonna use, where in i mixed Wuhah Gregorian chant with Guitarist JerryC. it turned out pretty cool exactly.

now for the costume. we decided to stick to a dark gothic look. imagine me in this: black choker, black long sleeves, violet bra straps, red skirt, fishnet stockings, knee high boots, and HEAVY eyeliner. i might even put blood on my neck. lol. so anyway, i still haven't practiced throwing bottles with this wardrobe, so wish me luck! i can't stop laughing at the image of goth kids doing bartending. i'll post pics later on, and be the judge if it should belong on Philippine's Funniest Home Videos. HA-HA.

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/23583684/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/23583684/ Sat, 07 Mar 2009 23:03:30 PST
at xmpre di pde mawala sa deviation yun trademark nia: 3 stars and a Sun.



-------


]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/23284378/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/23284378/ Thu, 19 Feb 2009 07:09:44 PST


fellow Filipinos, sali din kau

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/22669999/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/22669999/ Mon, 19 Jan 2009 09:54:01 PST
Monday. I lost my wallet, together with my whole allowance, money for the ingredients for bakery science, as well as my Lyceum ids, discount cards, pictures and stuff. that had been a major strike as a week starter. because of that, i had a really great urge to sleep and wasn't able to go online for a long time after i arrived.

i have to be early for Tuesday, so i had no chance to talk to pong. still stressed about my lost wallet and the darn news that the bar exams is gonna be on Friday, i felt drowsy again. i came home early, dozed off and didn't have the chance to talk to him.

i woke up the following morning light headed, and really felt sick. once again, i neglected him. i went to school half asleep, which was worsened by a 6 hour long seminar. the seminar itself is so tiring, and the late dismissal added to the stress. i had doubts if pong will believe me, since i used a similar excuse before. i was so tense while i was on the way. i mean, how could i blame him? if i were in his shoes I'll feel the same.

i refused to sleep since i feel i had to make it up to him. i stayed up late and woke up early. the conversation we had eased the tension a bit, but not quite, since i could still feel the annoyance between his words and reactions. even the advance sweetdreams and goodnights. i cried after that, must be out of guilt. so i went to school tense, stressed, sad, depressed and guilty. a major recipe for another tendency. but i really pushed the thought away. i spent the afternoon meddling on the midterm exams. i really wish i should have just let others do their thing. but i just can't afford not to help them, so i did. i bought the ingredients, and went home tired and so STRESSED. the S word again, which makes another word: sleep. so pong had been right, well, he always is. i slept without even texting him since i had no load, since i have a selfish brother and an in love mother.

i woke up with a bad headache and a guilty feeling. i don't know which was i nervous about: talking to pong (i need to apologize and all), or the exams. either way, the first one didn't go very well. he was so annoyed that he just hmfs and ahhs my monologue. it made me even more guilty. to make things worse, i still have so much to do prior to the exam. i neglected him again. how can i be so cruel? I'm taking him for granted, doing things since i know he'll be there when i get back. i bid him goodbye still sad and depressed. the tension for the practical exams started to build up. but what do you know? i unexpectedly ranked 1st, and that would've made me happy. but it didn't. i don't know why.

right now, while writing this, i still feel bad.

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/22235236/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/22235236/ Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:30:12 PST
Anyway, I still have a week so..I guess I can put up with it. That only means less PC time. Grrr.

-_-'

It seems soooo troublesome just to move. Arrggh.

~meL

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/22235117/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/22235117/ Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:19:03 PST
==============================================

Maybe I was never meant to be alive to begin with.
Maybe I'm better off rotting somewhere.
I feel like I'm rotting already anyway.

So, here I am, back to the blogs.
Don't read this. I just need to write. darn.

I cut my wrists AGAIN, because I can't bear to cry another tear. My nostrils are already flooded up actually. My eyes are chinky, and I know I'll have a bunch of morning stars when I wake up. One my left arm, I got 10 bloody lines. On the other, I got a bloody L-I-A-R. I f*ckin labeled myself. Nice. It depicts who I am, what I just did. I LIED. I AM A LIAR. A MOTHERF*CKIN LOSER.

I make up stories.
I make up promises.
I make up scenarios.
I make up things.
I make up excuses.

I break promises.
I break trusts.
I break rules.

And what does that make me?
A B*TCH.

Ooooh, how I love self pity. The way you look down on yourself and grind your mind with neverending insecurities and self hate labels. Depression's overpowering me lately. I had 3 tendencies in 10 days. What's that about? And take note, I'm sober during these instances. Tonight's the worst. I did it again. Let the blood flow. weee. Next time I'll capture it on cam. That time, it won't be just an attempt. It's gonna be the real thing. You know, like that clip from justin.tv with a guy who killed himself through overdose. haha.

Anyway, I feel a lot better thanks blog^_^ *hugs*

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/21546052/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/21546052/ Tue, 18 Nov 2008 06:19:32 PST
AHAHA. Very funny.

And yes, guests do get entertained - AFTER we master the stuff. But at this point, all my guests are gonna get bruises and liquor all over them, haha. And me? More bruises and liquor! Darn. I can barely even write because my swollen palm.

Well anyway, I want to be a bartender someday

haha. See you^_^

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/21004979/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/21004979/ Thu, 16 Oct 2008 06:39:09 PDT
what am i supposed to do now?



still thinking of devious things to do..oh well.

Got somethings lined up:

1. Arrange subjects to be taken this semester;
2. Write some
3. Draw some
4. Watch some
5. Make some
6. Shed some
7. Lessen some
8. Jog some
9. Read some
10. Play some

...

And most especially, talk with my LOVE more

is it me, or i'm getting weirder and weirder everyday? haha. im obviously obsessed with you
im falling in love with you a little more every day. well anyway, i know i'll be spending a lot of time talking to you my dear.. i love you so much!



PS. wanted me to include her in this journal. so i did. ahahaha.

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/20884333/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/20884333/ Wed, 08 Oct 2008 04:04:30 PDT
i remember what my professor in theology told us :

"even Jesus won't pass my exams, so study."

damn.

i wish i could get my enthusiasm in studying

wish me luck

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/19604114/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/19604114/ Sat, 26 Jul 2008 09:21:28 PDT

anyway, I am happy, and soooo on love♥_♥ hope you are too

~issaw♥

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/18258630/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/18258630/ Sat, 10 May 2008 14:11:42 PDT


1st: Sunday-Pc Brokedown. (no pc for bout week, as punishment)

2nd: Monday-eyeball was cancelled.(really miss them);a friend's pc won't install adobe p. (still can't draw); won't install ym.(can't chat)

3rd: Wednesday-i gotta go home cause my mom "misses" me(still no pc)

4th: Thursday-got a fight with mah granny, so i went out, drank a bit. (ended up bein' carried by two cute friends of mine)

5th: Friday-woke up with a really bad hangover.(can't eat, can't go out); went home(had to face my lola); can't seem to find the right torrent for adobe(can't install unless i do so, but i did, anyway); discovered that our hard disk was just replaced(the pictures, the music, the programs, the videos!!gaaHH!! GONE!!)

6th: Saturday-kept my hopes up while watching the "downloaded" bar fill to the right)

7th: Sunday early morning- turned out that thing that i've waited for almost 2 days has VIRUS written all over it!! gaahh!!(still can't draw-_-' ); furthermore, that f*ckin' java won't install in this god damned sh*t head computer!! (can't download songs from lime wire)

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/18236487/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/18236487/ Fri, 09 May 2008 03:18:25 PDT
i'm not even done in editing my sketches!!
huhuhuhuuhhuhT_T

spare me-_-'
pity me-_-'
show some sympathyT_T
huhuhuhuhuhu>.<

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/18117407/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/18117407/ Thu, 01 May 2008 13:01:35 PDT .<

i dont even know what i'm typing

all i know is im sad and i need so some comfort.

dang. is ound sooooooooo emo>.<

anyway, love you guys. whatever happens, i'll still watch over you.

deymmm.

]]> ~melissa0528 http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/18072038/ http://melissa0528.deviantart.com/journal/18072038/ Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:27:42 PDT
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keep the underground scene alive, never let it die.

~meL^^

]]> ~melissa0528