http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:mseprini104&section=today deviantART RSS for by:mseprini104 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 31 Dec 2009 11:00:01 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/29153005/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/29153005/ Thu, 24 Dec 2009 08:04:48 PST
Just a journal to say a big MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of you, and I hope everybody has a brilliant day. Here's hoping 2010 is a better experience than 2009! Wish you all the best of things for the new year, too.
On that note, anyone have any New Year's resolutions in mind?

Thanks to everyone who has been visiting my gallery, commenting and faving and such. You're all awesome



http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/28656266/ Sun, 29 Nov 2009 16:56:37 PST is offering FULL DIGITAL PICTURES, backgrounds and everything for only £15 ($22.5). These works are impressive by any standard, and he ought to charge more though he has been generous enough to lower his commission price in the hopes that more people will take an interest, as he needs the money. Take a look here for examples of his works:



There could be a little extra charge for really detailed characters, but hey, most artists with this skill level charge in excess of $40 for a fully coloured, background-inclusive, work of art. This is a truly exceptional offer so please give it a go!

Just leave him a note, or a message, negotiate the terms of the commission and look forward to somethng amazing. This is a christmas sale, so go for it whilst you've got the chance ^.=.^


http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/28294328/ Wed, 11 Nov 2009 14:04:25 PST
I've got a few trades and requests on the go (well... okay, I haven't started them) so my gallery won't remain in stasis for another few months before my next deviation. Were any of you surprised at the fact I managed two deviations within a short space of time? I was...
Anywho, college is getting tricky again so anything art-related that I'm working on, or will-be working on, is going to take time.

But I have ideas. Lots of them.

I'm also possibly-maybe considering opening commissions sometime in December during the holidays as I might have some free time... Don't hold me to it though, College could launch a surprise attack. Trust me, they've done it before. Hardly any of us made it out of there alive o.=.O

But yeah, commissions... Should be fun for all thos interested Right?

Lastly, a massive, warm, fuzzy, cuddly thanks to all your support and critique, as well as the faves and the wonderful new +watches! It took up an entire evening going through my comments saying thanks to all your messages. You know how to make a doodler feel appreciated <3
But seriously... Thank you all so much, you make every work worth the time spent on it.

*GLOMPS YOU ALL*

Now... Someone nudge my pageview counter with a large pointy stick because it's still not made it to 10,000 which, though obviously it's not a major thing, is kinda depresing because some people can do it in a week with one submission. What is this magic, and how do I learn it? lol



=mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/26874915/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/26874915/ Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:57:29 PDT (Ruru)

Rules:
-- Every question must have an answer.
-- Your character can't be perfect in every way... that kills the point.
-- After you finish tag four people.

--- The Basics ---

1) What is your dragon's name?
"Graelthrimm, though most call me Gray. It's pronounced GRAY-uhl-thrimm."

2) How old is your dragon?
"This is a tough one... The lifespan of my species accomodates for their exploration of space and thus I am able to outlive most planets...
I'm fantastically old by human standards but I am an 'adolescent', by my species' standards."

3) What colour is your dragon?
"Black with dark grey bellyscales. Wing membranes are purple, as are the exoskeletal plates and other membranes. The tail tip is silver."

4) How tall is your dragon?
"Another tricky one to answer... From head to claw, my smallest form is 2 feet. The next size up is 8 feet (in my medium form), the next size up is 80 feet and my normal form (the one I use for space exploration) is just a tad bigger than the planet Earth. I know... You have to see it to believe it."

5) What kind of body type does your dragon have?
"I am fairly lithe, but I retain a muscular bulk that lets you know I can defend myself. Though I prefer walking on all four legs (in feral form), I am comfortable using only my hind two. I am thin, aerodynamic but a bit chunky here and there. I'm a bit like a tank but I look like I can really move if I want to."

6) What element is your dragon? (JUST ONE)
"Hmm... None. I am not based around an element though I breathe both fire and a temporal distortion energy."

7) What is your dragon's eye colour?
"Red"

8) What is your dragon's hobby?
"Reading, and sketching. I enjoy researching magic and documenting celestial bodies."

9) What season best represents your dragon?
"Winter, when Earth becomes cold like the outer reaches of space that I am used too."

10) What mood is your dragon usually in?
"I am generally calm, and on the outside I appear to be either miserable or deep in thought. There's not a moment that passes in which I am not contemplating something, though. My mind is always at work and this means I am prone to missing out on what goes on around me, for which I apologise."


--- Favourites ---

11) What is your dragon's favourite food?
"Undecided, though I have an unhealthy sweet fang and a large apetite. I especially love strawberries."

12) What is your dragon's favourite place?
"Deep within the cold void of space, where the silence gives me time to think and the sights inspire me to continue on my great journey."

13) What is your dragon's favourite weapon?
"My psionic and mystical abilities, though of Earth weapons I have no particular favourite."

14) How does your dragon want to die?
"I would prefer to die either of old age in a peaceful manner, or meet an end doing something right."

15) What does your dragon think is the most beautiful way to die?
"For a noble cause."

16) What is your dragon's favorite thing to do?
"Spend time with my mate, Drieka. If this isn't possible, drift through space, alone and thoughtful."

17) What does your dragon love most?
"Loving, and being loved. I love my companion and the time we spend in each other's company."

18) What does your dragon hate most?
"Human Nature and the cruel ways of the universe, rude dragons with no manners and my own emotional conflictions. Fate."

19) Who does your dragon treasure most?
"My Drieka... A mate like no other."

20) Who does your dragon hate most?
"Self-righteous, self-important, power hungered human beings. Anyone who misuses power."


--- On a scale of one to five... (five being the highest) ---

21) How strong (physically) is your dragon? -- 4 ("I would have to be powerful to make the journey across the cosmos")

22) How stable (emotionally) is your dragon? -- 0 ("I hide my feelings but they rage within like a storm. Try not to say the wrong thing.")

23) How agile is your dragon on the ground? -- 3 ("As I said... I'm a little chunky in places but I'm slimming down nicely.")

24) How agile is your dragon in the air? -- 5

25) How agile is your dragon in the water? -- 5 ("I was built for space, but water is a close second")

26) How happy is your dragon? -- 2 ("Many bad things have recently overshadowed my mood".)

27) How hyper is your dragon? -- 3 ("If I am hyperactive, you will know about it.")

28) How violent is your dragon?... ]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/25129459/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/25129459/ Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:07:42 PDT
All is going okay, with college work subsiding and then surprising me by appearing again. I'm coping though.
Sorry the delay between my submissions is so large, though after getting my new Intuos4 Graphics Tablet from Wacom (highly recommended, by the way), my artwork should start speeding up.
It's all a matter of time, now.

Thanks for all your comments and tips regarding my art!



http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/23681288/ Fri, 13 Mar 2009 17:42:02 PDT
My journal needed updating, as I've been tagged and I also have some art to feature from others. As well as this, I was wondering whether anyone would be willing to discuss their dreams? This is mainly because I'm wondering whether anyone else experiences dream constants, or an occurence in your dreams that keeps surfacing now and then, in more than one dream?

I've always had remarkably unusual dreams. Not all the time, but frequently. Anyone up for a discussion? =]

Also, I'd like to say a big thank you to for this adorable artwork:

It's a uniquely cute looking Graelthrimm! ^.=.^,

And also another big thank you to for her remarkably cute version of one of Gray's alternate forms:

Thank yoooouuuuus!

And thank you to everyone who took the time to browse through my art =]

In response to being tagged, here are 8 random facts about me:

1. I don't normally post facts about me in my journal in this manner.

2. I'm hoping to get into the Video Game Industry.

3. If it's anything to do with Dragons, I love it.

4. I don't, and never will, smoke anything.

5. I only really leave the house at night unless it's for college.

6. I don't have a specific taste in music.

7. I can only draw things when I'm in the right mood, as otherise I'm limited to stick figures and scribbles.

8. Cheese and Pickle is my favourite kind of sandwich.

RULES
1. Post these rules.
2. Write 8 random facts about yourself
3. Post these things in a journal/blog
4. In the end tag and name 8 people (Or do what I do and say something like, "If you read this and want to be tagged, consider yourselves tagged! Do it if you want to!" )

So... basically, you're tagged if you want to be =]


http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/22949309/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 17:40:49 PST
I've had college work to do, and emotional issues that I'm still dealing with. Despite my busy schedule, I'll try and get some of my art up here soon ^^

Still, I think there's plenty to smile about. I recently completed the latest Legend of Spyro game and I thoroughly enjoyed every second of it, despite the ending nearly traumatising me. The assignments that I'm getting done are getting good marks, so that's more to smile about, and I find that once again my friends are happy to help me when I'm feeling down, further proving their sheer awesomeness. My thanks to all of you =]
Special thanks to a certain someone for my subscription to DA, which I am still coming to terms with, as my stamp colection will prove.



And now, a question. How do I decorate this journal with the borders and backgrounds that I see in so many other journals? I'm new to this, heheh.

And someone please shout at me? lol, my shoutbox is gathering dust...


http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/22263165/ Mon, 29 Dec 2008 15:04:33 PST I have quite a while left before I go back to being my gloomy self so I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.

I hope all of you had a brilliant Christmas! Mine was fantastic, and I got so much more than I was expecting! I'm not talking about gifts, as this Christmas we actually spent time together as a family and that was, by far, one of the best presents I got

I'll take this time to apologise for the lateness of my christmas gifts to people. The requests were put on hold as my art software's playing up, and so progress with digital art was slow. The non-requested christmas gifts were done traditionally to save time, though a few modifications were possible when 'Jasc PSP' actually worked.

So yus, hope you all had great x-masses and are all looking forward to a brand new year!

*hugs for you all*

]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/22155562/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/22155562/ Wed, 24 Dec 2008 03:09:49 PST
Whether you're a watcher, or you just stumbled onto this page, I hope all of you have a brilliant christmas!
In fact, whoever you may be, if you're reading this then I hope your christmas is fantastic!

Christmas gifts for people, unfortunately, may be a little late. I've been working on far too much recently and thus I've fallen behind on my drawings and such.

I know I owe people art, but please have no doubt that I'm working as fast and effectively as I can to get everything done for everyone =]



MERRY CHRISTMAS!

]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/21517551/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/21517551/ Sun, 16 Nov 2008 11:57:34 PST
I'm planning on doing christmas pictures for anyone who would like one, since the time of giving approaches. If you'd like a picture from me, leave a request in the comments section and I'll try getting it done for x-mas

I'd do one for absolutely everyone, but not everyone would want one by me, lol.

Also Drieka, the response to your tag is below ^^

Dear Anyone,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'll join the monastery. I think I realized it When I saw the shrunken head At the mental hospital and I saw you Sit on My best friend. I'm sure you're Frostbitten enough to understand That Extreme Home Makeover sucks. I'm returning The couch cushions to you, but I'll keep Your suicide note as a memory. You should also know that I Always have felt dirty before Senility.

Greetings to your freaky family,
Matt

RULES:
Do the "Letter MEME". Tag no less than 5 other people, and leave them a comment, informing them that they have been tagged. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.

I tag

-> How you do the Letter Meme:

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-your name-



1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister


2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes


3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife


4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out


5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk


6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House... ]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/21124460/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/21124460/ Thu, 23 Oct 2008 11:47:42 PDT
Sorry to say my 'art' will be posted less frequently, due to college work slowing me down. My imagination's sapped dry, but the odd doodle may make it onto DA.

Still, I'll be lurking awkwardly and I'll make the odd post here and there =]

]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/20147607/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/20147607/ Mon, 25 Aug 2008 12:09:01 PDT It's funny how the rest of the world seems to move on so quickly once a back is turned, though I guess change is just a natural occurence.
Speaking of change, my 16th Birthday was a blast, and it's given me a chance to make a new beginning. I got all the required hardware for my computer and some other really awesome items I was after, including an electric guitar with a fantastic amp. The guitar was pretty expensive and I was in shock when my Nan bought it... her excuse for spending so much on the likes of me was that it was my birthday and my GCSE results were outstanding.
My GCSE results arrived and to my bewilderment, I'm actually not as thick as I thought I was! Not only did I pass every subject I took, the lowest mark I achived was a 'B'. Looks like I'm all set for college! XD My first day is coming up quite fast, and though I'm nervous, I think I'll thoroughly enjoy it! ^^
Heheh, once again I have been dabbling in a variety of different styles in my absence, and I have managed to find a method for drawing people that doesn't produce laughable results.
Needless to say, my confidence at this point is pretty high, so before my pride begins seeping into my journal, I'll sign out.

However, I have one more thing to say, though this is just to certain people, not everyone. My message to them is this:
There's no point trying to hide it because I already know. Don't bother explaining yourself, because it'll do you no good. Don't you DARE pretend you're sorry, because I knew what you were trying to do a long time ago.

]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/19764487/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/19764487/ Mon, 04 Aug 2008 04:59:14 PDT Anyway, my starsign is Leo and this is what the horoscope thing told me:

'Your love is as hot as the summer Sun today with sexy Venus in your sign picking up on the deep passions of Pluto. There's no question in anyone's mind what you're feeling, because you won't be able to keep it hidden. Even if your emotions are overly intense, it's best not to bottle them up now or they could explode without any apparent reason.'

It's creepily amazing how correct these things can be, considering how madly in love I am <3
Seriously, these horoscope people know too much... ¬¬



]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/19746168/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/19746168/ Sun, 03 Aug 2008 02:54:21 PDT This is what happened to me. No, I wasn't thrown into still water, but through the smallest actions my life has been completely changed.
I admire the power of a Deviantart Journal entry... and the comments we might leave. I admire the unforseen chain of events that began with basic conversation and led to unrestrained, raw emotion.

I'm talking about Love, of course. You see, I saw the world as such a dark place. Read through my other journals and my pessimistic views become apparent. However, in the space of several weeks, my way of seeing things was changed completely by the most remarkable girl I have ever met. She just walked into my life ( or rather, 'typed' ) like any other person would, but from the very first moment we spoke, it seemed very different.

Everything she said or drew seemed to captivate me, and when I got to know her, she inspired me. I learned how much she'd been through and how much she had to cope with. I learned how different she was to anyone I'd ever met before and everthing about her seemed totally new to me. I admired her more than anything else for her determination to keep on living a fantastic life despite the terrible things that have happened to her.

I think falling for her was instant. No words in any language I know could ever describe how incredible she is, and nothing could ever accurately describe how powerful my feelings are for her.
It's like meeting someone who you know would be there for you no matter what. You could never describe why, or how, but you just felt that this person was right. It feels like your heart's trying to break out of your chest and you feel yourself burn inside. Then you get this incredible feeling that I could only describe as being similar to suddenly falling from a great height. That feeling of being weightless as you drop and your heart seems to lurch.

She's brilliant. I've told her so many times, but it could never be enough. Remarkable, clever, witty, passionate, beautiful, inspirational, tough, wild and absolutely amazing in every way, and I love her dearly <3
Just talking to her makes everything seem like heaven, and I spend all my time thinking of her. She's my Angel and do anything for her <3

I'm saying all this because I need to. I need to yell about it. I need to run from country to country, shouting it out at the top of my lungs, cuz I love her!!

LOVING YOU FOR ETERNITY, BILLIE!!!!!

]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/19622665/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/19622665/ Sun, 27 Jul 2008 12:11:13 PDT

My first tag EVER!

The rules:
1. Post these rules
2. Each person tagged must put 8 random facts about themselves
3. Tags should write a journal about these facts
4. At the end post 3 more bloggers are tagged and named
5. Go to their page telling them they're tagged.
6. No tag-backs!


Okay, so here goes:

1. I'm VERY childish for a fifteen/sixteen year old.
2. I have an obsession with Dragons.
3. I don't like attention unless it's on stage in some form of performance, 'cuz at least then the spotlight's not just on me.
4. I'm not good with conversation with people I don't know, though I can talk for ages.
5. I look like the David Tennant version of 'The Doctor' when I style my hair right, and I have similar mannerisms.
6. I'm very emotionally detached from everyone and everything because it feels safer.
7. I have three siblings and a handful of friends, but it doesn't stop me from feeling hopelessly alone all the time.
8. I suffer from severe lack of confidence that has hindered me my whole life and I think it's permanently damaged my social life and psychological make up.


I'm tagging , and

]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/19466092/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/19466092/ Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:57:40 PDT
Summary of Masterminds

* Visionaries who put energy into achieving their goals
* Prefer to work independently and dislike inefficiency
* Think of themselves as logical, thorough, and bright
* Values practicality and common sense above ideas and theories

More about Masterminds

Masterminds create a vision for the future by gathering and organising information. They then develop strategies to achieve their goals. They have a rare gift for looking at almost anything and seeing how it can be improved. These skills and the Masterminds' high standards often allow them to reach leadership positions at work.

Mastermind is the least common personality type in the UK, according to a nationwide survey.

Masterminds value independence and prefer to work on their own. Once they have decided on a course of action, Masterminds rarely change their minds, although they can be persuaded by clear reasoning by someone they respect.

In situations where they can't use their talents or are unappreciated, Masterminds may cut themselves off from a group and criticize people who don't understand their plans. Under extreme stress, Masterminds may overindulge in sensory experiences like eating, shopping or watching television.

Masterminds often have an unusual sense of humour, which arises from their ability to spot surprising links between seemingly unconnected facts.

-------

Most of this is incorrect, because I'm no mastermind and I'm certainly not bright, but surprisingly there is some accuracy in what's said above... because I do cut myself off from people and I prefer to work on my own... but it told me that it had trouble finding a personality match for me, so I could be classes as insane... owO

]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/19403411/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/19403411/ Tue, 15 Jul 2008 05:01:39 PDT
Being out of school's great, but at least I used to wake up in the morning with purpose. I used to have objectives, deadlines, work, distractions and things to keep me occupied. Now I wake up simply for the sake of waking up. There's nothing for me to do (portfolio aside) and I keep doodling for hours... I have trouble convincing myself to get up and do something about my boredom. I can't even bring myself to read a book... so maybe I'm just tired (though I wake up at rediculous times in the evening now). I miss the stress...

I hate emotions, they really get in the way when you don't want them too. I have trouble deciding exactly WHAT I'm feeling at times, and sometimes I feel so depressed for no reason what so ever... I think there's something wrong with my brain. WHY does everything seem so pointless and am I just a pessimist with a bleak perception of everything?

I miss Doctor Who... =/

]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/19177683/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/19177683/ Thu, 03 Jul 2008 04:54:32 PDT
I can't describe the feeling of knowing you don't have to get up early on a Monday morning, or prepare for tiring homework after a monotenous day at school. Right now I'm happy and for me, that's a big deal. I spend most of my time depressed and angry but now it's like the world that occupied my shoulders is gone. The stress has eased and this world seems like a much brighter place, and I don't feel angry anymore.

Though I know I won't see my friends every day, I know that we can keep in touch and I'll be able to visit them at school every Thursday, since I will have that day off once I start college. It's a really surreal feeling, but I feel more alive now that compulsory education is behind me.

Best of all, if my results are average standard and I pass, the college course will be kick-ass. The design and development of my very own video game is all I could ever ask for. I have so many ideas for games it'll be great to finally expand them! It'll be like writing a book, but instead of simply following along, you get to be part of the story! I video games

On this subject, since I can't do polls or anything, does anyone have any ideas on what they'd like to see/do in video games? Played a game and liked a certain aspect? All ideas welcome!

Part of my portfolio (which doubles as the design process for the game) involved concept art, so with luck I may be able to post some of my stuff on DA and get some feedback
But seriously, if you have any ideas/ suggestions then don't hesitate to voice them.

I also recieved an extensive list of books I had to read as part of my portfolio, apparently to aid in my development of a storyline and such. As a result, my room is now littered with partly-read novels and notes on good plot points/characters or just stuff I liked. Yeah, it seems like a lot to do compared to the homework I used to get, but this is something I actually enjoy!

]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/18806680/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/18806680/ Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:05:15 PDT in the event of it's previous owner's request.

--------------------------------------------

I am the girl who goes through hell and a half at school because I defend homosexuals instead of abusing them, and have been called the Antichrist because I don't believe people should be judged based on who they love.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the one working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am a warrior for my country serving proud, but can't be my true self because gays aren't allowed in the military.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the who isn't sure what she is. I am the who is rejected by her "best friends" because of a less-than-conventional crush.

I am what I am and I don't know who because I am always thinking about what other people will make of me. Who am I? Not boy not girl, just me and little people care about who you are and what you long for when you look like someone else obviously and your wishes and dreams seem easily to be guessed. Fail.

I am the person who would be happier as the other gender but fears that getting a sex change will cost me the love of everyone close to me.

I am the person who can only be myself over the internet because then I can tell my friends that I'm a man when I am....even if I do not have the body of one.

I am the girl who cried all night because her mother tried to convince me I wasn't bisexual, and refuses to have the conversation with me.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson."

This is the boy, Matthew Shepard. On October 7, 1998 Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson lead him to a remote area east of Laramie where they demonstrated unimaginable acts of brutality . Matthew was tied to a split-rail fence where he was beaten and left to die in the cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later he was found by a cyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow. Matthew died on October 12 at 12:53 am at a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. MURDERED BECAUSE HE WAS GAY!!!

IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS
AS "HOMOPHOBIA."

IF YOU ARE IGNORANT... IGNORE.

Please, repost this in support of your friends and loved ones who are. Love is not defined by color, creed, sexual preference,... ]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/18719107/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/18719107/ Sat, 07 Jun 2008 18:38:47 PDT
I suppose I'm really writing this for a clear perspective, as these times of life seem shrouded in the unknown and the terrifying darkness that is the future. Just two GCSE examinations to go and my preparation, as it seems to me now, was pointless. Had I opened the revision books weeks earlier, I feel I would still be no further than I am now. Sometimes I fail to see the point in carrying on, as my existence is rendered pointless by the fact that I have no purpose or any form of strength.

My art submissions to DA have considerably diminished, as I no longer feel the creative urges that inspired me to create any of the things that I regularly did.
Where the inspiration should be, there is now a ball of worry, mixed with a little confusion and dread for good measure. To top it off and add a little extra flavour, fate's poured a load of misfortune in for good measure and topped it off with a dash of lonliness. Then the entire mix has been rammed into the GCSE oven and left to smoulder for a few weeks.
Fate hates me.
I recently recieved information that breifly alliviated my misery, as for several precious days I began to feel my lonliness was at an end. This knowledge has now led me to feel more alone than ever, and I'm not even sure I want it to go away now... I seem to have gotten so used to it, like a sentimental object that you don't need, but feel you must keep.
I'm rambling again... life may be much happier than it always seems to be to me. Does this mean I am blind to it? I just wish more than anything that there was something, just one thing, making all my struggling worthwhile...

Well I know I have friends, as that much has been proven. Not just 'wave-and-say-hi' type friends but really good friends that always seem willing to pull me up out of any emotional low that I experience. For this, I thank them. All of them.

I was most disturbed to learn that two of my DA friends and a number of their friends were caught up in a situation involving an online pedo. I was appaled that such caring, honourable people could succum to a fate such as this, and I hope that they are able to sort everything out without further difficulty. Yet another example of fate's sick sense of humour... and I do mean 'SICK'.

*Yawn* nearly 3:00am now... and I'm so tired I may collapse on the keyboard... It didn't help that I decided in my wisdom to attend a nearby LAN party involving a gathering of Halo-obsessed teenagers and adults all joining in on one, massive online killing-spree.
Thinking I wouldn't stand a chance against these pros, I hesitanty picked up a controller and began to nervously aid my online team-mates, obeying orders until somehow I began to wipe the floor with all of them. I've never felt so smug before as I sat there, watching the eighteen year-olds trying to figure out how they were beaten by one as 'inferior' as me. There's nothing more satisfying then running over your victims in vehicles, which is something I was good at after picking off at least 20 via sniping XD
Fun... but tiring. It was one of the best parties I've ever been too and that's incredibly geeky to say the least.

Jees my head hurts... you know you're in trouble when you begin talking to yourself... and I'm rambling AGAIN!
.... goodnight peeps, the Dragon-Dog's off to bed.

]]> =mseprini104 http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/18177952/ http://mseprini104.deviantart.com/journal/18177952/ Mon, 05 May 2008 09:24:08 PDT
Yes, my GCSE's begin next week, my first being German. I admit I am unprepared and I now go to bed dreading the next day, waking up only to wish to stay asleep. It's sickening how slowly they creep up on you, and I look at the revision timetable on my wall and curse myself for not beginning my revision sooner.

It doesn't help that I have to compile a massive portfolio for my college course (which is only really valid if I pass five GCSE's at level C) at the same time as revising... And this portfolio needs to contain a hell of a lot of written work as well as complexed artwork, which I am struggling with.

And piled on top of this, I have issues with my friends at school. Something happened not too long ago that has left me wondering who my friends are...

If one of your best friends did something that was practically everything you were against (everything you try to prevent), do you stand against them and guard your beliefs or do you stay quiet to preserve an unstable friendship?

And what if you discovered something about another 'friend' that made you wonder wether you ever really knew them at all?

I still have a few friends whom I know won't be so deceptive, but I valued the people I USED to know as my closest friends...

I crave an escape... I need to get away from everything to sort my head out, but I am caught in the middle of an unstoppable chain of events with no way out (none that would leave me alive, anyway).

Just wondering, why is it that everyone I used to speak to on Deviantart is ignoring me? Am I that irritating? What did I do wrong, or is it because I'm not logging on at the right times?

I've also discovered that if you compliment someone with regards to their artwork or artistic skill, they never talk to you again... with the exception of about ONE person.

... I need sleep...

]]> =mseprini104