http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:mugwumperx&section=today deviantART RSS for by:mugwumperx en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:48:55 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/21779460/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/21779460/ Tue, 02 Dec 2008 07:32:32 PST [link]

I've got dim memories of watching some of there when they were on Sesame Street.

]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/19119208/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/19119208/ Sun, 29 Jun 2008 23:54:37 PDT [link]

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]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/10743106/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/10743106/ Thu, 16 Nov 2006 09:00:25 PST
They say you shouldn’t count your chickens before they are hatched, but I’m getting really good at it. I just count to zero, and then smash all the eggs. I’m right every time.

It’s what is on the inside that counts. A kidney, especially, fetches a pretty good price on the black market.

I’ve got half a mind to find the rest of it. Unfortunately, it was the clever half that got away.

When I was in the circus, I was the guy that got shot from the cannon. The complicated part was that this circus was held on a battle ship. In the middle of a war. In retrospect, that wasn’t a very fun circus.

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]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/7804977/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/7804977/ Sun, 05 Feb 2006 01:21:16 PST
I have a restraining order against Santa Claus. Apparently, anytime someone leaves milk and cookies lying around that fat bastard thinks that he is entitled to them. It wouldn’t have been such a big deal if my house weren’t constructed of cookies, with a little milk pond in the backyard. All it took was a few nibbles on a load bearing wall, and just like that, I was living on the streets, begging Girl Scouts for construction materials.

I made a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure flipbook. It’s a little stressful, because you have to make decisions really really fast. It also helps to be an ambidextrous speed reader. The first person who read it was both, and ended up in the hospital for blood loss from paper cuts and multiple stress induced heart attacks. He is out now, but still has really bad arthritis.

I used to run a puppet show teaching kids about the dangers of drug use. It was one of those deals where you crouch behind a little stage and they can only see the sock puppet that you’re operating with your hand. Well one day, this fly started buzzing around my ear and around the stage. I could tell it was distracting the kids. So I used my puppet hand to try to smash the fly, and in the process repeatedly bashed the head of Senor Snortsalot into the stage. One of the kids thought the puppet was having an epileptic seizure and dialed 911 on their cell phone. The police came, and found a baggie of heroin inside one of my puppet heads. That was my last puppet show, but I managed to beat the rap. Senor Snortsalot, however, is currently serving time in a maximum security prison for resisting arrest, assault with a deadly weapon, and wire fraud.

]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/7739161/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/7739161/ Sun, 29 Jan 2006 07:58:42 PST Listening to: "someone something" - Spoon

I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia and Alzheimer’s. I hear voices, but I can’t remember what they say.

I spent years learning how to play the triangle, until one day, someone bent my triangle into the shape of a square. I couldn’t play it anymore. It may have sounded the same, but there were too many sides for me to decide which one to hit. I was ok with three, but four was just getting out of hand.

I also spent many years training with masters of the mystical arts. I became so adept at manipulating the space-time continuum that I had total control over the sands of time. I could not, however, get the sands of time out of my hair, even after several showers.

Frustrated with the sand stuck in my hair, I invented the Shampoo of Eternity. The directions for the Shampoo of Eternity are as follows: Wash. Rinse. Repeat until the end of time.

I’m going to invent the Conditioner of Infinity, just as soon as I get done washing my hair and decide what infinity should smell like.

I founded The Foundation to Found Smaller Foundations. Currently, The Foundation to Found Smaller Foundations has founded forty smaller foundations, which in turn have founded a grand total of three hundred and eighty seven foundations. Then I found that hat that I lost, and formally disbanded the Foundation to Find That Hat That I Lost.

I once met a penguin who had no legs. It was a little sad. Fortunately, this particular penguin also had the ability to fly, so everything was pretty much cool.

]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/7635089/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/7635089/ Tue, 17 Jan 2006 23:11:54 PST Listening to: "Tame" - Pixies

I am simultaneously leasing my soul to the Devil, the Man, and The Cleveland Indians. In return, the Devil washes my car on Sundays, the Man gives me baking tips, and The Cleveland Indians taught me how to love.

After a team of psychiatrists spent countless hours debating whether I was insane or a maniac, I was finally deemed an “insana-ma-maniac” and was given a small plaque covered trophy to this effect. That trophy is currently on display in the International Museum of Bad Psychiatry.

A similar debate over whether I was crazy with a “c” or krazy with a “k” led to a small civil war in Nigeria and three weddings. Two of the couples are still together, and the other “just needs a little time to work things out.” The civil war, however, has been a humanitarian disaster of unimaginable horror.

Once, while facing a difficult matter of conscience, an angel appeared on my right shoulder, and a devil appeared on my left. I then screamed frantically while trying to get those little bastards off of me. They finally vanished, and to be honest, I kind of miss them. If you’ve seen them, tell them that I decided to go with the blue one. They’ll know what that means.

I mark my territory by placing small orange cones in strategic locations. Unfortunately, I am color blind to orange, so I immediately forget where my territory is. I am also afraid of cone-shaped objects. I’m kind of looking into a new marking system.

I organized the world’s first all-snowman firefighting squad. Tragically, all three hundred of the squad were killed fighting their first fire, leaving behind a mound of badly charred carrot noses. Investigators of the tragedy claim that the coals used for the snowman’s eyes may have only worsened the blaze.

After the snowman incident, I opened a restaurant. My specialty was badly charred carrot soup. My restaurant was very successful until it burned to the ground.

]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/7519251/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/7519251/ Thu, 05 Jan 2006 16:21:47 PST Mood: ultra-mega-ok
Listening to: "Ana Ng" - TMBG
Watching: The Producers

Check out this essay by Douglas Adams, and keep in mind that it was written in 1999. This lifted my mood quite a bit, but I wish that guy was still alive.

Anyways, here is my favorite excerpt:

I suppose earlier generations had to sit through all this huffing and puffing with the invention of television, the phone, cinema, radio, the car, the bicycle, printing, the wheel and so on, but you would think we would learn the way these things work, which is this:

1) everything that’s already in the world when you’re born is just normal;

2) anything that gets invented between then and before you turn thirty is incredibly exciting and creative and with any luck you can make a career out of it;

3) anything that gets invented after you’re thirty is against the natural order of things and the beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it until it’s been around for about ten years when it gradually turns out to be alright really.

Apply this list to movies, rock music, word processors and mobile phones to work out how old you are.


]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/7362340/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/7362340/ Tue, 20 Dec 2005 09:52:20 PST

"Secondly, there are such things as roving wiretaps. Now, by the way, any time you hear the United States government talking about wiretap, it requires -- a wiretap requires a court order. Nothing has changed, by the way. When we're talking about chasing down terrorists, we're talking about getting a court order before we do so. It's important for our fellow citizens to understand, when you think Patriot Act, constitutional guarantees are in place when it comes to doing what is necessary to protect our homeland, because we value the Constitution."


If you wanna see this in context, you better click that link before it gets flushed down the memory hole. Also, spread this quotation around as much as possible, as the news media seems hesitant to do their job

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]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6922326/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6922326/ Tue, 01 Nov 2005 03:34:35 PST go look and see! Don't you dare miss this one either...

Also check out Dennis Worden.

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]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6687373/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6687373/ Wed, 05 Oct 2005 14:14:26 PDT Mood: somewhere else
Listening to: "Silence Kit" - Pavement

im gone for a couple weeks. i'll be back with lots of new drawings and a pinata the size of rhode island. we'll take the blindfolds off for this one.

]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6607892/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6607892/ Mon, 26 Sep 2005 13:12:08 PDT Listening to: "Mad House" - Jennifer Gentle

I love wikipedia. Check out this entry on portmanteau, a fun little linguistic device that I often fall back on when struggling to make titles for my drawings. Reply to this journal entry by using your favorite portmanteau(s) in a sentence. Double space, please. Blue or black ink only GODDAMMIT WHO USED RED INK RED IS MY COLOR

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]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6530367/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6530367/ Sat, 17 Sep 2005 16:34:14 PDT literary figures drawn by comic book artists. thanks to Metafilter.

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&&&^6just^%^#$once ]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6147679/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6147679/ Sat, 06 Aug 2005 06:11:18 PDT ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6054012/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6054012/ Thu, 28 Jul 2005 01:53:05 PDT
I want to start school again, I keep having dreams I'm back in high school and don't know where my next class is. Then I wake up and realize I have nowhere to go. It's a little depressing.

I'm reading The Invisibles by Grant Morrison. Extremely confusing in a semi-pleasant sense, lots of throwaway references to interesting cultural footnotes, but no real cohesiveness. It's entertaining but seems like it could've been done better. Maybe I speak too soon, I'm only into the first volume. ]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6006547/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/6006547/ Fri, 22 Jul 2005 17:05:45 PDT
[link]

Also everyone needs to watch the television show "Stella." It's on Comedy Central and will make you cry tears of joy and brown gravy. ]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/5937264/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/5937264/ Thu, 14 Jul 2005 21:51:12 PDT
I said BEAR! ]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/5891820/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/5891820/ Sun, 10 Jul 2005 03:32:52 PDT to be shot on sight, and all the townspeople massed on the border to
mexi-cuba with rifles and american flags to see if they could shoot
the cigar out of fidel's mouth.

then there was a reporter interviewing a kitten in mexi-cuba, asking
the kitten if it was really fidel castro in disguise. the kitten
rolled over on it's stomach and started mewling. i woke up in
hysterics and scribbled "castro kitty" on a scrap of paper in my
nightstand. ]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/5843054/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/5843054/ Tue, 05 Jul 2005 00:34:17 PDT [link] was there, a nice suprise as that is one of my favorite paintings of all time. they had a few drawings and paintings by matta, but not really his best stuff.

im trying to get my shiznit together to get a solo show sometime next year. i've got to finish some paintings this month and then get slides.

meanwhile, it is very very hot. ]]> ~mugwumperx http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/5661844/ http://mugwumperx.deviantart.com/journal/5661844/ Thu, 16 Jun 2005 01:57:10 PDT [link] ]]> ~mugwumperx