http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:mystiphied&section=today deviantART RSS for by:mystiphied en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 28 Dec 2009 05:10:42 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/22781503/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/22781503/ Sat, 24 Jan 2009 12:21:39 PST
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]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/15539689/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/15539689/ Fri, 16 Nov 2007 20:34:13 PST In other news, I have gotten my back brace and walker, and look forward to increased mobility. I am too damned old to be pregnant, that's for sure. Counting the remaining days...that is, till my December 25th due date. Yes, that's really my due date! Of course, he'll come when he's good and ready. It will be a gift on any day.

]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/12559897/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/12559897/ Wed, 11 Apr 2007 21:07:51 PDT
[link]
for anyone confused on the proper way to tell someone they are SOL.


and doesn't everyone believe in the power of both positive feedback and constructive criticism? I maintain that NO ONE is above comment-
[link]

Enjoy!

]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/11569824/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/11569824/ Thu, 25 Jan 2007 20:33:52 PST the book business is picking up. it might even generate enough money to support us, if i could only get more books. then list more books. then sell more books. and on and on...
school is put off yet AGAIN. maybe it is for the best, as Rayne is so small, and sales are doing so well, but this is an opportunity slipping through my fingers. very depressing.
speaking of depressing, living with my ex, his mom, and HER mom isn't exactly fun. but enough about that.
i've been clearing out some stuff on freecycle.org, which positively rocks! if you haven't heard, freecycle is a site where you can post stuff you want gone, rather than throw it away. you can also post for stuff you want/need. it sure saves me some time to post all my reject books, rather than take them to goodwill, or whatever. and hopefully, people actually read them! i gave away Rayne's littlest baby clothes. it was hard to see them go, but a lack of space helped convince me to help someone else out with them. it all started in tucson, and had since spread worldwide. anyone reading this should check it out for their area, and start one up if they don't have one nearby. it's a good thing!

]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/10192559/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/10192559/ Tue, 26 Sep 2006 12:43:07 PDT oh, something else special about today, might have temporarily slipped my mind. perhaps i will be reminded.

]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/10094995/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/10094995/ Sat, 16 Sep 2006 20:21:09 PDT ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/10074966/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/10074966/ Thu, 14 Sep 2006 20:43:58 PDT ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/10054839/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/10054839/ Tue, 12 Sep 2006 21:07:07 PDT ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/10039186/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/10039186/ Mon, 11 Sep 2006 12:59:06 PDT Even so, I know I did the right thing, and though I am lonely, the shittier I am treated by them, the more I know it! Who only loves you when you do exactly what they want? To your own detriment? What kind of example is that to set for my daughter?
Love is wanting and doing what is best for someone when you can, whether you like it or not. I'll stand by that. If everyone else decides to stay mad, they will miss out. ]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/10011036/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/10011036/ Fri, 08 Sep 2006 16:20:42 PDT 2.muzique
3.the colorful living room
4.looking at two sleeping faces
5.my clothes
6.her clothes
7.hope for a unified future
8.the few friends i had
9.shoes
10.helping, or at least trying to
11.shared creative endeavors
12.talking
13.making her laugh when she felt bad
14.full cable pack and bedroom tv
15.the water angel poster
16.the place she was born (never got a pic)
17.pima
18.fry's
19.poetry readings
20.the odd moment of happiness
21.my heart

things i don't miss

1.being scared
2.worrying about everybody else
3.having to decide between her or him
4.super sick phone guy
5.catering to him at all times
6.him not getting better
7.having only one flaky mode of transportation
8.mosquitoes
9.watching the physical and mental decline speed up
10.those damned ashes on the floor ]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/8060140/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/8060140/ Fri, 03 Mar 2006 20:56:13 PST My water breaks at 6:00 a.m. on 3-1, and it's raining. This is unusual in this desert hellhole we call home, so we were even happier about the timing.
We go to the Birthing Center, where they administer an anti-stress test. We are both fine, but contractions are not that close or urgent, so I am sent home. I do lots of things to help it along, but no such luck.
I wake up about 3:00 a.m. the next morning with some very strong contractions, still no closer than 20 minutes apart. So, I putter about looking up labor signs on the internet, trying to watch a Lamaze video (yes, I procrastinate), and eventually jump in the tub for some relief. It feels so good i start to fall asleep again, so I go back to bed around 5:00 a.m.I don't stay there for long, as the contractions start to get pretty grim, and I am up in the bathroom with bloody show (a good sign) at least 5 times. It occurs to me that I need to make all the phone calls, that we will not be going home emptyhanded this time. I make the calls at 6:00 a.m., and am having contractions 10 mins apart at this time. The midwife on call tells me to call back in 20 mins, after shift change. So, I call my doula and leave messages on her home and cell phone, then try to call my ride for the next 30 mins, while my contractions are getting REALLY intense. I am in enough pain that I contemplate going to the hospital to get an epidural, which I have been fanatically opposed to all along.
Oddly enough, the "point of giving up" was mentioned as one of the signs of an imminent delivery that I had just researched, but I did not immediately make the connection. Seriously, I questioned my own ability to withstand that much pain for hours to come!
Back to my story!
I get dressed, and medicate my partner, who is also in pain and violently vomiting to boot. I look longingly at his painkillers. We got to the living room, where I continue to try to get ahold of my ride. I finally reach her, and she is on her way. I try to get comfortable on the couch, but it isn't easy. I vocalize this, and then I felt it.
The Push.
This baby wasn't waiting for anybody else to show up!
I jumped up, and said "I'm freaking out! This baby is coming, and someone needs to be here!" I got the phone and the numbers to call, and tear off my clothes as I head to the bathroom. I'm yelling, "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" as I head back, and my internal smartass reminds me that's how I got here! Anyway, I sit backwards on the toilet, and feel another push. I make those calls, and am much less calm this time around. It occurs to me I need to be in a better spot than on the toilet. I ask Ozz to fill the tub, so I can get in. He does so, i tear off my last piece of clothing, and get in. I squat and immediately get the third push, and feel her crown. I tell him the baby is being born NOW. Then, push number four gets the head and shoulders, then I hear a thunk on the bottom of the tub as she floats up. I tell him to look at the clock, and he says, "7:20 on the dot!" He asks me what to do next, so I tell him to call 911. She's crying and turning pink, so I know she's okay. Then, I pick up the phone and call his grandmother, and let her know.
The paramedics were there wiyhin 5 minutes, I swear. There were 5 guys and a woman, all crowded into my tiny little bathroom. They wanted to cut the cord, and I told them not to until it was no longer pulsating. I told them they would get the placenta in a few more minutes.On the second cramp, I delivered that too. They suctioned her, as I didn't have a bulb syringe, and put an oxygen mask near her face. She didn't need it, but what could it hurt, right? Finally, I let them cut the cord, and they wiped her off. Ozz asked if he could touch her, and they said yes. The woman helped me out of the tub and into a robe. They wanted to take me to the hospital, but I knew they would insist on holding me 24 hours. I had the birthing center on the phone by then, and they said to just go there, as my ride had arrived. The paramedics said it made there day to welcome a new life, instead of watching them go, which I thought was cool. ]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/7491592/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/7491592/ Mon, 02 Jan 2006 17:58:57 PST Since I last graced this site, many things have happened, but i will try to mention the more positive aspects.
We made it to Phoenix to seek the Holy Grail-oops, meant to say
SYL-same difference. lineup was Darkane, SYL, Soilwork, then Fear Factory. I was on the street team for SYL (yes!), so I was promised free entry into the show, then i bought the rest of the tickets direct from the Fear Factory website. Fuck you, Ticketmaster! anyhow, 2 people dropped out at the last moment-one screwed by work, another by circumstances. When an Assistant Manager can't ask for a date 2 MONTHS in advance and not have it taken away the day before, things suck! well, more room in the car, right?
we get there with a minimum of wrong turns, and stand in the extremely long line to get inside. a highlight of that wait was the smart ass praising 50 Cent at the top of his lungs. I might add that the line was obviously too long for some, as you could definitely smell urine as we got closer to the door. i would think twice before going back to any show at that venue, for several reasons that will become clear as i ramble on.
we get to the door, and the highly incompetent people there refuse to let me in with my Halloween plastic handcuff necklace on. okay, dude. so i trek back to the parking structure, as i did not want to "donate" it. we get back there, and after a very cursory pat down that still took way too long, got to the will call window. Showed my i.d. and my email conf for the tix and my place on the list-dude says, " you're not on it. Buy a ticket or leave."WTF? I can see one thing fucking up, but BOTH? No way was I going to leave or put any more money in their hands. I earned my way into that show, and paid for my friends. I told them to get it straight, cuz I wasn't leaving.
I was so pissed, I missed seeing Raymond Herrera (drummer for Fear Factory) come out, but Ozz got to shake his hand. That guy is a rhythmic freak of nature! Saw them live at Gigantour, and no joke, he is unreal.But I was too busy arguing with those dickheads to tell him so. Well, I'm sure it's nothing he hasn't heard before.
So we stand in line at the other window, go through the whole spiel again, and they finally agree to get the road manager up there to figure this out. By this time, there were other people that had bought tix the same way waiting with us. I put this this fuckup squarely on the the venue, as no one there impressed me with their job performance. So, Doug comes out, waves us in. We had completely missed Darkane while all this was going on. As slow as they were at the door, there were probably people that missed SYL-at least that wasn't us!
We found a pretty good spot, where I had a railing to hang on to. The first band we saw was SYL! We saw Devin run out onstage, and even though I'm short-5'3"-a space opened up so I could actually see him throughout the show. That was amazing in and of itself. During the show he announced that it was his wifes birthday(same as my son!), and the crowd sang happy birthday to her. Ozz got up close enought to ALMOST rub his bald head! and the guy next to him caught a pick. he showed it to us later. I managed to stay on my feet for the entire show, and given my health, that's saying a lot. Any one of the three shows we saw was worth the 120 mile trip (one way), but anything Devin Townsend does is #1, no doubt about it. The only disappointment was that he didn't do "Detox" live. Well, maybe next time, because we have to see him again. Preferebly at a decent venue with better sound. No joke, the sound was better ib the bathroom!
I had to sit in the back after that so I didn't pass out, but got to enjoy Soilwork and Fear Factory just the same. Gene Hoglan came out to watch the show, and Ozz talked to him. I went up and asked him to rub my belly so my baby might get some of his "rhythmic gift". He laughed, and did it. Yes, I'm weird. At least I wasn't asking him to sign my tits, or anything stupid like that. Later on, Ozz got an autograph on his cig pack that I had smuggled in, and he bummed one. Who would have that he'd smoke a Marlboro Menthol Light 100? Nobody smokes them! When Ozz showed it to me, I thought of asking him to sign the street team email I got. He was cool about it. I then told him that, for the record, my boyfriend had excellent rhythm, but he couldn't double bass worth a damn. He really laughed then. During their set, Devin announced that Gene's leg had been asleep, but he still sounded good- he did, too. And Opeth is like my second favorite band right now.
The only other thing I will bitch about is that none of the shirts were double sided, or had any tour dates of any kind. We bought one anyway, but that was a real disappointment to us.
Okay, now that I have exposed my... ]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/7090905/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/7090905/ Sat, 19 Nov 2005 18:32:19 PST
visit this page NOW [link]

and this one, too [link] ]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/6842699/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/6842699/ Sun, 23 Oct 2005 06:13:50 PDT I underwent amniocentesis, which was somewhat terrifying, but the good part was that my child is in excellent health and development. And she's a girl! I could not be happier about that part of my life! Hopefully, some of the other issues will settle down and I can spend more time in the bovine bliss of gestation. My workplace has been decent and reasonably accomodating, with both my health issues and my co-worker conflicts. Could be a lot worse. Funny, I took a radical schedule change to avoid this person, and rescheduled my last break twice yesterday, also to avoid this person, still ended up in the breakroom at the same time. Some days, you are just not going to win.
Why let it bother me? Well, let someone you used to care about file a phony police report involving you, apparently in a desperate cry for attention. See how you'd feel about it. On the bright side, I have really thorough documentation of her original version of events, and her character (far from impressive). I never wanted to use this against her, but it wouldn't have been necessary, had she not chosen to lie. I hate dishonesty, and liars most of all. The next time she chooses to fictionalize an event, she might want to involve people that don't keep every written piece of paper that crosses their paths! Wonder if I will ever throw anything away again?
She can cause me pain with her lies, I will hurt her with the truth.
I actually read one of my works, judgeMENTAL, on Thursday night. It seemed well-received, but I was so terrified, it's hard to be objective. I'll read a few more, next time. Won't conquer that stage fright by sitting at home!
All my Louisiana relations seem to have come through Katrina in good shape. At least, I haven't heard otherwise. My uncle, who lives just north of Lake Pontchartrain, says there are still National Guard waving rifles at the Walmart, and encampments of various military around town. The fast food places have limited hours and service, apparently because so many people just don't show for their shift. At least the mail is slowly starting to arrive, and he is able to resume his business. All any of us can do, is to do our best to carry on.

visit this page NOW [link]

and this one, too [link] ]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/6062732/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/6062732/ Thu, 28 Jul 2005 23:00:58 PDT
UPDATE:

we're going to gigantour! here's a link-[link] last show we caught was slayer-slipknot, still kills me that fucking phoenix got SYL, and we didn't even hear about it till days after. at least the casinos are willing to book these acts. tucson is well known for discouraging concerts. uptight jerks. it's not so easy to drive 90 miles for a show with no car, and no circle of friends to go with. that's not the fault of the city i live in, of course, but it does suck.

visit this page NOW [link]

and this one, too [link] ]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/6042963/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/6042963/ Tue, 26 Jul 2005 19:51:57 PDT


visit this page NOW [link]

and this one, too [link] ]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/5898743/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/5898743/ Sun, 10 Jul 2005 21:23:41 PDT
visit this page NOW [link] ]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/5171007/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/5171007/ Wed, 27 Apr 2005 18:56:01 PDT
visit this page NOW [link] ]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/5106851/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/5106851/ Sat, 16 Apr 2005 20:30:58 PDT
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]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4491899/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4491899/ Thu, 03 Feb 2005 19:57:27 PST ah, now it's "southbound", by vision of disorder. arizona band, broken up, dogdamnit. no, that's not a typo. well, i guess this makes up for other peoples journal entries that made me uncomfortable to read. right back on ya! i am wonderfully, exquisitely miserable.

]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4418209/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4418209/ Wed, 26 Jan 2005 08:21:49 PST
]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4382715/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4382715/ Sat, 22 Jan 2005 05:20:13 PST I am sitting on a bed with Ron Jeremy. The bed seems to be a twin, although it is big enough for for him, me, and some random dude who is apparently unconscious. I think we are all naked. Ron looks at me and says,"I'm going to make love to this man like a woman." He starts kissing, licking, and fondling the guy, who does not wake up. After a while, he gets several ping pong balls, 'inserts' them, and 'follows' after. (was that subtle enough?) Really, no clue what vital message my subconscious was trying to inpart with that one. Any interpretations?

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]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4248384/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4248384/ Wed, 05 Jan 2005 18:10:40 PST ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4233416/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4233416/ Mon, 03 Jan 2005 21:37:06 PST ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4197258/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4197258/ Thu, 30 Dec 2004 21:39:27 PST i broke the fucking bed.
i broke the bed fucking.
it's the second piece of furniture we have destroyed together... ]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4077478/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4077478/ Thu, 16 Dec 2004 00:05:36 PST ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4061112/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/4061112/ Mon, 13 Dec 2004 19:48:29 PST Being reasonably mature at this point in my life, what are reasonable expectations? My definition of friendship is:do what you can for that person, in thought and deed. Back them up. See them through whatever happens. Listen. Have their welfare in mind. Make an emotional commitment to do all of that, and more. This is what I offer. Why is it, that as a person with a pretty good degree of empathic ability, that I can tell is someone is cool by my standards, but not how they will treat me? An ex-friend said, before the end of the friendship, that she considered me a security blanket. She knew she could call me day or night, I'd take her call. 2 years, then when push came to shove, I was the easiest person to walk away from. Are people ever sincere, or do they just act that way to get what they want? Why is my particualr pain so entertaining, or so easy to disregard? My ex-friends also have a tendency to get together. I know that shouldn't bother me. My special gift seems to be to bring out the worst in people. Dissension and backstabbing trail in my wake, yet I go to great lengths to adhere to my own ethics and morals. To what avail? If I were a Christian, I suppose I could chalk it up to "rewards in the afterlife". However, I don't plan on getting that full frontal lobotomy anytime soon, so get thee behind me, biblethumper! (On a side note, I have always been curious as to why Christians, or at lest the ones I have encountered, know so much less about their religion they profess to follow, than do your average Satanist.) Familiarity breeds contempt? That's one I can attest to. No one seems to have the balls to tell it like it is. The best friend I ever had, or at least the one I considered such, had always seemed like he could spit it right on out. Until he got a girlfriend, that is. You expect, in that kind of situation, to not get to spend the amount of time you used to, but for a whole personality change? If it's that easy to change, how real were you in the first place? And people that I know to be unrepentent assholes, seems to have a wide circle of friends. Are all the decent people locked up? Or just in self-imposed exile from the "real" world? I don't want to give up. I can but appreciate the (all too) few moments, when I have the illusion of meaningful communication.

Hope you enjoyed my pity party! 'It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to...'-Leslie Gore ]]> ~mystiphied http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/3599917/ http://mystiphied.deviantart.com/journal/3599917/ Fri, 15 Oct 2004 21:57:52 PDT
Check out this groovy deviant: [link] ]]> ~mystiphied