http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:natalicious&section=today deviantART RSS for by:natalicious en-us Copyright 2010, deviantART.com Fri, 01 Jan 2010 10:42:06 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/25371138/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/25371138/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 10:52:35 PDT i have been through a rough time again so i decided to move to spain again, which is where i am now. found myself a job in a dutch bar-restaurant and got a good apartment. so i'm gonna be here until the end of october... sometimes i be having a look on here

hope you all are doing great

- nat

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/23033047/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/23033047/ Fri, 06 Feb 2009 02:26:10 PST [link]

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/23033043/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/23033043/ Fri, 06 Feb 2009 02:25:32 PST [link]

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/22655487/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/22655487/ Sun, 18 Jan 2009 14:56:12 PST i also met someone nice... getting to know people who are GOOD people instead of people who are trying to get you down, or sucking you into the downward spiral..
fuck that man, there's too much nice things in life.. also theres a shit load of ugly things in life, but ive seen them enough. and i am WAY tired of that. from now on i will focus on the positive things what the day may bring. it's just so great to hear people around me say that the glinster in my eyes is back, its been a while yanno. period.


for all of you, your support

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/22506732/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/22506732/ Sat, 10 Jan 2009 13:25:07 PST
also-
trust
faith
strenghth
chances (recognise 'm and grab 'm)
acceptation


each day is one
8th day


i won't give in
the struggle goes on

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/21229592/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/21229592/ Thu, 30 Oct 2008 09:22:24 PDT
]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/20036441/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/20036441/ Tue, 19 Aug 2008 07:07:33 PDT sometimes i can have a quick peek around on here but i'm still in the clinic
half a year already.. since 3rd of march
i guess that's worth a celebration on the 3rd of september.. no meds no nuthin

i miss you all
sorry for not being in touch but i really can't until i'm back in the real, normal world

to be honest
i feel fuckin lonely here
on this path to 'sanity'

anyway
hope you all doin fine


natasha augustinus
triple ex
monsterseweg 194
2553 RM DEN HAAG
Holland

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/18673822/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/18673822/ Thu, 05 Jun 2008 05:23:30 PDT doing fine, i miss my little girl though and going through some rough emotions and shit

this period of time is kinda confronting for me
as was to be expected
but hey if its going to keep me sane... i'll fight for it


address change:

natasha augustinus
triple ex
monsterseweg 194
2553 RM DEN HAAG
Holland

hoping for some snail mail to keep the faith

hope you all doing good



nat

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/18006097/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/18006097/ Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:43:06 PDT [link]

jeff buckley-hallelujah

i'm moved to another programme called Triple Ex, no freedom at all, closed programme so you won't see or hear a lot of me for quite a while.
i'm kinda doin fine though it's a tough time

when i go to sleep at night, exhausted emotionally and physically, i listen to this song and it helps me through this shit


one day i will be back
stronger than ever

if you want to write to me for some moral support or letting me know how you are, here's the address:

Triple Ex-Entrada
natasha augustinus
Bertus de Harderweg 34
2553 PX De Haag
Holland

hope
faith
courage



special thanks to

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/17315249/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/17315249/ Thu, 13 Mar 2008 12:20:59 PDT
im at a detox clinic since last week monday, for 4 weeks as it is for now
after that they are sending me somewhere else, as soon as they know what is 'wrong' with me

here i can be online on thursday evenings only for 15 minutes

i am starting to feel alive again
i know i am going to win

love you all
take care

- nat




-update-

things are well
ive got some wicked music on my mp3 player now to dwell some, to remember some, to think things over some, and so on
thanks to a special friend -

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/15620984/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/15620984/ Thu, 22 Nov 2007 12:37:56 PST
i'm on the waiting list, soonish i'll go clinic for a while
see what and where it'll bring me
as a dear friend said, i need to sort myself out
sorry i haven't been around for a while, i was -somewhere else- for a while

forget about the new account, i don't have the energy and really i don't feel like it, in other words i can't be assed

my sweet grandma died last weekend, i haven't even seen her since a few weeks before and now its too late we buried her yesterday


yea i know another whining journal.. i'm just a fuckhead
i'll be ok in some time
speak soon


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All torn up
All torn down
Yeah
I'm thinking that I'm sinking
and I'm sinking all the while

*

Falling down
Falling down
I stand up
To fall back down

*

Caving in
Caving in
I think my heart
Is caving in

- blackflag

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/15201390/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/15201390/ Wed, 24 Oct 2007 12:21:09 PDT ive been undergoing some more intensive therapy and my medication has been changed, so yup there's light at the end of the tunnel. last week i went to get my camera back, there's still damage on the lens but i'm thinking of getting a new one, although i won't go for the reflex anymore. they're way too sensitive and difficult. yesterday i went to the beach to take some awesome pics of the sunset in katwijk, they need some slight re-touching but still. it was a wicked day, i was with a friend from college who helps me a lot these days.
by the way i got my camera back with the help of a friend, at least of who i thought was a friend. in my life i've known a lot of people, a whole lot, and i can say my trust in people wasn't very intense (understatement), but now it has reached the point of almost non-existing. anyway, that's life. my priorities are my girl, myself, my family, and the very few people around me who take me as i am, with all my difficulties, problems, and mistakes. people who understand, people who don't take things for granted, people who love you unconditionally and even love you- care for you and trust you, even how difficult you are as a a person. i am very tired of fighting and struggling, you have no idea of how i wish and long for some warmth, rest, peace of mind. but i wil keep the faith. sometimes you just need a lot of shit to go through before it'll come your way.

anyways, what i've decided, it's time for a new account on here. the ones who respect me, the ones who have helped me, the ones i trust and who trust me, i will note you my new account. the ones who think i will go on doing fetish-gothic shoots can wipe me from their list.

it really is time for a change, a final one, a good one, and a last one. it's time to grow up, it's time to put a stop to my naivity, to put a stop to let people walk over me, i know i'm better worth. instead of whining and almost giving up, i'm going to turn that negative energy in some positive. furthermore, instead of being hurt, i will be strong and fight back. nothingand no one is going to take me into the downward spiral. never again.

special thanks to:

:C-E-R-I-D-W-E-N:


end of

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/15073760/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/15073760/ Mon, 15 Oct 2007 13:39:50 PDT till it burns up my arm
I keep taking punches
untill their will grows tired
I will stare the sun down
till my eyes go blind
I swallow poison
untill I grow imune
I will screem my lungs out
till it fills this room
But I wont chance direction
and I wont chance my mind

- pearl jam

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14884385/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14884385/ Tue, 02 Oct 2007 12:12:02 PDT i won't give up because i just can't since i got someone to take care of

but i'm so sick and tired
running around in circles, faster and faster and the circles grow smaller by the day

loathe
disgust
too weak to feel anger

it fucking grabs me by the throat



]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14752778/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14752778/ Sun, 23 Sep 2007 05:35:46 PDT
today
41 years ago
you were born

today
you still are 36

today
it has been 4 years, 8 months and 28 days
since you stepped out of this life

today
i cry and i smile
you were a part of my life

today
you still are

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14617933/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14617933/ Thu, 13 Sep 2007 14:02:17 PDT I feel the question
Of your loneliness
Confide... `cause Ill be on your side
You know I will, you know I will

X girlfriend called me up
Alone and desperate
On the prison phone
They want... to give her 7 years
For being sad

I love all of you
Hurt by the cold
So hard and lonely too
When you dont know yourself

My friends are so distressed
And standing on
The brink of emptiness
No words... I know of to express
This emptiness

Imagine me taught by tragedy
Release is peace
I heard a little girl
And what she said
Was something beautiful
To give... your love
No matter what

- red hot chili peppers

*maazouzi* ]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14601694/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14601694/ Wed, 12 Sep 2007 10:47:27 PDT

yesterday i saw this in someone else's journal, i forgot who showed it.. i think it was the ever so beautiful trudes.. i almost fainted when i saw it. it is a stunning, amazing photograph and i cannot help but stare at it

here, look:



]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14560442/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14560442/ Sun, 09 Sep 2007 11:53:58 PDT i dunno

i will stick to my
priorities
promises
pills
placebo
place in the sane world
precious girl
photography

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14434655/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14434655/ Sat, 01 Sep 2007 01:35:22 PDT

oh my... i'm floating on pink clouds!
i'm gonna keep it a secret for a little while longer...

things are goin very well, i started the study bachelor in social work, so one day per week studying at college, the rest home study, and working in a job that suits the study, so i applied at 3 places. all of them are institutions for homeless youngsters, most of them with addiction and/or other additional problems. i can't wait... finally things are looking up and can i really really start to do something i really really like, and turn my past problems into something useful and positive.

my last journal i screamed and tore my hair out about not being able to cut out 'that' part of me, but i need to look at it this way; if i didn't have that part in my system, i wouldn't be who i am now. so nuthin new there

that's it for now, i'm going to dwell over last night

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14102273/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/14102273/ Fri, 10 Aug 2007 08:26:19 PDT

i wish i could just cut out 'that' part of my system

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/13776318/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/13776318/ Wed, 18 Jul 2007 00:38:22 PDT in the building each ' patiënt ' has his/her own small appartment. one of the patiënts, rené, was a young man in his early thirties, his disease a very agressive form of multiple sclerosis. for the ones who don't know what kind of disease that is; simply said, it's a degenerative disease which has a devastating effect on the muscles and nerves. when i started working there, he already was in a very bad state. he could only move his head, and his body was very stiff and cramped. his mind though was still in a perfect state. when the symptoms showed up, (in his early twenties) he was in uni, he wanted to be a technical engineer, had just bought a flat with his beautiful girlfriend, loved to go out, lots of friends, in short.. a perfect life. when the terrible disease was finally diagnosed, his life quickly began to fall apart. his girlfriend left him after a week or 2, she mightve been beautiful, but her mind maybe was not. he stayed behind in his flat with the help of his parents, but within a year it was impossible to stay independent so he was brought to the institution.
when you work in a job like this, you are not supposed to have a favourite ' patiënt ', but very soon he became mine. not in a way of feeling sorry for him, but i loved talking with him, though it took ages for him to finish a sentence. we had a lot in common; same sense of black humour, same taste in music (especially joy division), opinions on life's world problems, etc. he wasn't able to smoke himself anymore, and the carers could help him smoke on a schedule, which i found very annoying. it was one of the ways to show that nothing was in his own power anymore, i mean imagine when you want to smoke, something to drink, go for a walk, or sit at your computer to write an email or submit a deviation. let go of MAKE a deviation. i have seen drawings by him which were amazing, but he didn't want to see them anymore. anyways, the nightshifts were great, as he almost never slept i sat the most of the moment at his bedside. we smoked, i gave him tea, talking, playing his favourite music of joy division, or sometimes just me sitting and he lying in his bed. in holland cannabis is legal and in certain medical cases used as medication, so he was allowed to smoke one joint a day. of course at those nightshifts i let him smoke more, once the rolling paper was finished so i made him cannabis tea, and he laughed and almost choked and i ws scared to death. he still had his stunning sense of humour, one of his fav jokes was inviting me for a game of hide and seek, or he struggled out 'lets do the game of running,, see who's first to reach the garden'
yeah he was very ill and looked like it too, but you still could see very well how beautiful he was, bright ice blue eyes, black haired, perfect bone structure. i only seen him cry one time when we were talkin about his *future*, for the rest he never complained, never depressed. when i left that institution for another job, he was angry and didn't want to say goodbye. i never forgot him though, he was so special. many times he crossed my mind, and once or twice i called the house to ask how he was. last time he was in the hospital with a chest infection; because he couldnt swallow, food sometimes came into his lungs. i never visited though, i thought it better not, as did the institution, because he had had a bad period after i left the job.
last time i called shouldve been around end of 2003, and soon after that i fell into the black hole as most of you know, so i haven't been in touch anymore. until yesterday, the job interview.
when we were done with the official talking, i asked about rené, and the man told me he passed away last year. we agreed on it to be better for rené, as the end was definite anyhow, and he is finally free from being captured in a not functioning, aching body. still it hurt, hurt a LOT. it made me think a lot about things and life too. not that i came up with some new insights in life stuff i don't already know by now, but man did it once again shone out to me that i have a fucking choice. my body functions, i am able to do things when i want to. so why fuck things up, why doubt if i ever fall back into escape solutions which will fuck up my body and mind as well? i feel happy, and free.
later on this week i will visit his grave, and sing for him.
his favourite song from joy division was love will tear us apart

When the routine bites hard
and ambitions are low
And the resentment rides high ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/13616344/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/13616344/ Thu, 05 Jul 2007 04:23:57 PDT

yesterday evening i arrived in holland!
these days i'll take it easy, been very nervous before the final leave..
exactly 10 minutes before going to the airport, a letter arrived, from the judge.. last year august i got robbed on the street with a violent attack, went to court for it and he got 3 and a half year jail for it. i really was hard for me, not the robbery but the fact that it led to someone in jail that long and me being the reason for it (yah i know i shouldnt feel it like that but thats me). now this letter told me i had to show up the 3rd of july (while i received the letter on the 4th) at the judge, for an urgent matter. so i did, and they told me that his case went to this higher court, and now they're asking me if i find it enough, he has been in jail for almost a year now, they'll pay me some, and if i say yes, he'll be out soon. i think about 80% of the people around me say "screw him and let him stay in jail", but i feel different. i'm still not sure for the 100% that it was him. if it wasnt him, i got an innocent person suffering. if it was him, well i only lost about 40 euro and a mobile phone, and i've lived under the same circumstances as him. not and never an excuse to rob with violence, but thats how life can get. imo a year is enough. yeah ok i know, he can do it to others when he comes out, but he can after 2 and a half years more too. he might learn some more tricks in jail, we all know. well i do at least.
anyway i have the time til september, that's when they want my final answer...

my grandmother is worse now, shes on morfine, tomorrow i'm going to visit her. furthermore i'm not making any plans, first i need to chill, read, walk outside, talks with my dad, and get rid of the noise in my head.

special thanks again to for his help and support... look [link] ]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/13387876/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/13387876/ Mon, 18 Jun 2007 00:33:50 PDT
i´m counting the days
the 4th of july.. holland


hope everyone is doing well


]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/13337325/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/13337325/ Thu, 14 Jun 2007 01:48:26 PDT
WEIRD!

further update:

the 4th of july is coming up soon-ish... they call it independence day ... and i´ll be off to holland!!

hope everyone is doing well

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/12835597/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/12835597/ Fri, 04 May 2007 03:31:20 PDT
i know what to do

only need to cut out the noise, the thoughts that pollute, the fears, the weakness

________________________________________ _________________

Two ways to choose,
On a razor's edge,
Remain behind,
Go straight ahead.

Room full of people, room for just one,
If I can't break out now, the time just won't come.

Two ways to choose,
Which way to go,
Decide for me,
Please let me know.

Looked in the mirror, saw I was wrong,
If I could get back to where I belong, where I belong.

Two ways to choose,
Which way to go,
Had thoughts for one
Designs for both.

But we were immortal, we were not there,
Washed up on the beaches, struggling for air.

I see your face still in my window,
Torments yet calms, won't set me free,
Something must break now,
This life isn't mine,
Something must break now,
Wait for the time,
Something must break.


- Joy Division

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/12266776/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/12266776/ Wed, 21 Mar 2007 03:18:03 PDT
things need their time..

so yeah, i am looking forward to go, although its going to be sad too. but thankful to at least have this oppurtunity

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/12217324/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/12217324/ Sat, 17 Mar 2007 09:34:58 PDT ohi can´t believe it... a whole lot of my photos have disappeared from my gallery!!!!!! tears hair out... i dunno what happened... but -purple- is gone, the whole crash series.... WTF is this???? i really, really, REALLY hope its just a bug and that they will show up again... because as most of you know, i don´t have the originals anymore as most of me stuff got lost in 2004....

SCREAMS
tell me its a bug....

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/11793162/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/11793162/ Tue, 13 Feb 2007 00:41:07 PST

C'est la nuit qui m'éloigne de toi
C'est la nuit bien plus forte que moi
C'est la nuit qui m'entraîne et me noie
La nuit c'est l'autre face de moi

i dunno.. everlasting mood swings i suppose

at this moment i absolutely LOVE that johnny cash song ´god´s gonna cut ya down´

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/11655768/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/11655768/ Fri, 02 Feb 2007 05:28:56 PST

"The only true law is that which leads to freedom," Jonathan said. "There is no other."

(i dunno if you ever read this book, but to me its the book which impressed me the most. ive read it many times, and i´d love to read it again.. its very special and dear to me)

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/11344436/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/11344436/ Sun, 07 Jan 2007 00:51:44 PST but in a day or 3 i'll be allright again i know its just now making me

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/11271705/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/11271705/ Mon, 01 Jan 2007 09:01:57 PST ) but he looks way different now, and his new sweet boyfriend is gonna join the shoot too so HEY nuthin can go wrong!! so keep watching, soonish there'll be some work as i used to do

oh and also i am going to try to put some more of dad's work on film, the judas'versions, remember?

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/11198409/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/11198409/ Tue, 26 Dec 2006 08:54:17 PST this is a brilliant club, i joined.. i usually am not the kind of joining clubs as um well yanno me... einzelganger and all that....
i´m ok-ish, yeah its christmas and these days always have made me feel strange, add to this:

Cas ----- 23/09/1966 - 26/12/2002

end of this month (the 31st) i´m off to holland for a week, got loads of plans and this time i AM taking my camera with me... see if i can do some scene shots, street / homeless shots... i need to be careful though but i be allright

hope you all are having a great time, and i wish everyone warmth, strength, love and health


- natasha

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10784463/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10784463/ Mon, 20 Nov 2006 02:23:15 PST where´s home

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10502587/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10502587/ Wed, 25 Oct 2006 02:27:25 PDT

my dog died last night
she was an english bulldog called bollie, which means fatty in dutch
she was 9 years old, which is very old for a bulldog. she was ill since last summer, and was holding on till it got worse and worse... so decided to visit the vet and ask him about wuts next, and wut to do now. well, there we are. she´s no more. im all red-eyed and i know its for all the better and such but i also feel angry like a kid thinking jesus why stuff like this happens , or have to happen. while i know better. but still.

anyways
life goes on
yesterday i had to go to court again, to sign for the sentence of the court. now its definite; 2 years and 6 months.

bollie i hope its possible to find the others lost, there, where ever you are now

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10431781/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10431781/ Wed, 18 Oct 2006 07:59:59 PDT i´m VERY busy
work too much; 3 days of 9 hours of teaching , 2 days of 11 hours
weekends off... havin nice times with robin
headache

things are cool
although theres lots of noise in me head.. maybe too much of it
as navros called it: white noise

hope everyone is doin well

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10301135/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10301135/ Fri, 06 Oct 2006 07:09:37 PDT

~ Wm. Blake

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10279584/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10279584/ Wed, 04 Oct 2006 07:45:27 PDT it very much sucked
judge gave him 3 1/2 years, and yeah i know its dumb but i feel sorta responsable for that... man am i weird, i mean ive never asked if they wanted to rob me heh but yanno it still sucks when the judge says ´okay turn around and take a good look at the accused, then answer if he´s the one who dunnit or not..but think GOOD, because you´re the only witness in this case and he will get 3 1/2 years which is quite a long time´ , a deafening silence in court room, turning around and looking someone in the face who for the same could be a passenger in the street if ya wouldnt know any better, with a blank look in his eyes, gawd. and then everyone´s waiting for your answer, which is WORSE than any answer, because with a yes or no therell be a huge consequence. fuck i wish i could disappear in that very moment i wish it´d never happened to me uggg

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10210377/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10210377/ Thu, 28 Sep 2006 01:36:38 PDT
]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10188874/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10188874/ Tue, 26 Sep 2006 03:43:09 PDT

"One Word"

I close my eyes
And imagine you're here
Did it all seem so hopeless
Given the chance
I would ask
Forgive me
I didn't do a thing to make you stay
I didn't say a word to make you stay
If I would have known
Could I have tried to make it easier
But I didn't do a thing
Or say a word
One word

And I don't know why you're gone, now you're gone
No beautiful goodbye
You will never leave my mind
And it turns out to be so much different than our dreams
Now you're, you're a star in heaven

- Anouk

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10138827/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10138827/ Thu, 21 Sep 2006 02:37:22 PDT
only good thing is the fact he´s still in jail. i wonder for how long.

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10057755/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/10057755/ Wed, 13 Sep 2006 07:25:07 PDT

so i never turned up for that court-thing, i really could not push myself enough to go. and wut do ya think, yesterday late night they were on my door, ringing loud and urgent so finally i went to have a look, police again with an order on my name. i HAVE to show up next week, they re-scheduled the court so umm out of the question; i´ll have to go. uggg...

nice news is that a dear friend still had my old photos on his comp, while i had lost everything so thats kinda cool. i already submitted 2 of ´m, rest will follow soon-ish (i still have to buy my online time argh)

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9883156/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9883156/ Mon, 28 Aug 2006 10:24:46 PDT then the 7th of september i have to go to court, due to the violent attack of last week. (if youve missed my last journal; i got attacked last week they stole my stuff) i really have mixed feelings about it, to be honest i fuckin hate it. i mean uggg!!!! its not a nice confrontation, and the fact that he most likely will get 7 years jail for it doesnt help. yup, he knew it and he was going for it, but still. o well thats life heh..

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9810956/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9810956/ Tue, 22 Aug 2006 00:50:45 PDT

fuckin cunts they robbed me last night on the street... on a motor, me on me bike, they just pushed me so i fell over and they ran off with me bag all in it stupid me... its so mad, for ages i live in more or less same scene nuthin ever happens never afraid or anything and then it happens to ME. didn´t even have the fuckin time to do something as it all goes so fast (of course)... i really hope he got some bad dope for my money. anyways its not the money what hurts, its the stuff, the photos, papers, my fone with important fone numbers in it. those numbers are way hard to get back. so i come here to spain with nuthin, i start all over, then i´m left with nuthin again ffs!!

o well... thats called irony i guess

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9772329/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9772329/ Fri, 18 Aug 2006 13:54:03 PDT

i just dunno
it´s all empty

keep going in and out of some sort of dreamscapes, half fantasy half real half memories half future half presence.. na i haven´t used anything..
i think there´s restless-ness on its way

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9686773/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9686773/ Fri, 11 Aug 2006 05:03:13 PDT but hey i´m working my ass off and so i thought hey i´m going to give myself a regalo, and here we are

3 weeks to go then i´m off to holland again for a couple of days, picking up my girl and then its done with the hard work. i´ve got a lot of ideas on which i really look forward to start workin on
hope you´re all doin fine


- natasha ]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9433862/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9433862/ Thu, 20 Jul 2006 05:02:41 PDT i´m at the local net cafe each 2 days to check my mail and da msgs, but no photography or wutsoever until september, the least

i even haven´t got the time to FEEL anything
hope you all are doing great, sorry for not being around so much...




- natasha ]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9298079/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9298079/ Fri, 07 Jul 2006 04:21:41 PDT
glad i´m working haha
have a nice day all!



- natasha ]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9208648/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9208648/ Wed, 28 Jun 2006 09:54:11 PDT

tomorrow i´m off to holland.. again... this time for a couple of days, think i´m back next week thursday or wednesday
see if i can do some shootings... i´ll probably meet maart, so fingers crossed


have a great time all
might be online there, not sure though

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9157972/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9157972/ Fri, 23 Jun 2006 10:04:06 PDT

Your Inner Child Is Naughty

Like a child, you tend to discount social rules.
It's just too much fun to break the rules!
You love trouble - and it seems that trouble loves you.
And no matter what, you refuse to grow up!

you can find the link here -> [link]

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9144001/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9144001/ Thu, 22 Jun 2006 03:49:20 PDT

Your Personality Is Like Acid


A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict.
One moment you're in your own little happy universe...
And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

you can find this test here -> [link]

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9052586/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/9052586/ Tue, 13 Jun 2006 01:01:40 PDT

well i´m back, exhausted still but very happy
the wedding was incredibly awesome. people from all over the world; my brother´s girl is korean, her family came over to holland and they wore their typical korean dresses, her grandma, cousins brothers and so on. her father (not the biological dad but the man her mum married) is a real scot and he also brought a bunch of family members and they all wore kilts and ancient way of dressing, it was so wicked to see all of those traditional international cultures. in the church we had a bag piper and a corean choir, so impressing.
the party afterwards was a blast as well, there was a dj playing old 80´s disco stuff and i danced with a scot and in the end i wore his kilt and he my skirt and it SO rocked some korean brother i dragged onto the dance floor, he never even had left his country and couldnt speak a word of english, but we danced and swirled and had a great time. i´m still recovering of all, it really was very nice.
at the beginning it was a bit akward to be back, but now i know all is well and all is ok so now i feel really free at last!

ps i didn´t take my camera with me, was too scared that something might happen to it but loads of ìcs are taken and my brother will send me some so soon-ish i´ll submit some

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8997761/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8997761/ Wed, 07 Jun 2006 10:04:46 PDT

tomorrow i´m off for the weekend, to holland
i be back this sunday

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8928367/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8928367/ Wed, 31 May 2006 08:24:02 PDT
awww my one year subscription ended... i became aware of it just now
jeez that´s SO different!!!!! ]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8871619/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8871619/ Thu, 25 May 2006 08:25:40 PDT fast and easy money makes greedy

damn

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8859708/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8859708/ Wed, 24 May 2006 01:09:31 PDT
still living out of the boxes still unpacked; busy with the teaching courses, smuggling, writing.

have some of you ever slept standing up? i´ve done that twice, once in an elevator and once at the bus station. that time at the station i stood there just standing, watching people having a normal life, my back resting against a wall, and at sudden the view became blurred and i heard that rush what you hear when the television stops their programs. i heard someone calling me, and slowly i came back but i saw the face like 1 dimensional. i hadn´t slept for about 4 nights then.

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8667844/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8667844/ Thu, 04 May 2006 01:07:53 PDT

oooo i´m so impressed!!!!! shes just 15 years old but she has some pretty amazing good work, here goes:


but this i like best !!

i´m still busy with packing out in the new home, doin well, not many time to do all i want and like.. but hey i´m not complaining
end of june i´ll be going back to Holland for a week... looking forward to it, but mixed feelings

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8647644/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8647644/ Tue, 02 May 2006 00:34:01 PDT

- busy
- blahh

nuthin to tell

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8619440/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8619440/ Sat, 29 Apr 2006 08:58:17 PDT
its eternal, unconditional
a thousand worlds apart
but
its still there

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8537325/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8537325/ Fri, 21 Apr 2006 03:16:30 PDT
ARGH!!!

so, i got a question to anyone of you. is there someone around who is willing to get me some tool... on a cd... and send me!! i promise i will be very thankful, and send something back. umm like ummm yeah what, well think of something and i will

]]> ~natalicious http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8445074/ http://natalicious.deviantart.com/journal/8445074/ Thu, 13 Apr 2006 05:48:57 PDT ... so hey just 6 things heh...while im possibly the most weird person you could meet.. but here goes;

1) right now i´m REALLY pissed off, they cut me hair, my dreads are gone and instead of that i have umm ´normal´ hair... slightly curled, short on the back... and its boring and SO not me! anyways i guess i have to adapt, going my way with normail hair... think im going back n take it all off, well not bold but shorty shorty
2) i do everything the opposite way, like when i brush my teeth i move my face and not the brush, i turn the coke bottle not the cap and so on
3) i´m always late, never on time
4) my online time is almost up so i have to stop now but next time i´ll think of the other 2 and tag others!!! gawd i hate not to have a comp

ok here goes the other 2! or, ok number 4 wasn´t a real fact so i´ll make it 3

4) i loathe pork meat. usually i try to eat as less meat of ANY animal at all, but ugggg@pork meat. there´s 2 reasons for me not liking meat; my opinion (i used to be a vegetarian for years) and it just gives me the shivers, how it smells, feels and tastes. i can´t really think any other way then ´uggg right now i am having a dead, deceased animal in my mouth. YIKESSS!!!!
5) i´ve read the koran, as well as the bible. in the koran i find a lot of meaning, the respect aspect and so on i do like. i´m certainly not a muslim though
6) i have something with the number 7... and i wish i was a witch

i´m very busy at the moment, as i said earlier in a journal i started writing some sort of book, in short its about the street life, drugs, escaping, reasons why and reasons why not, and its going back to the youth of my dad in the concentration camp. im also moving house end of this month, its cheaper, bigger, and just outside the village. i still can see the sea from the roof though, coudnt do without. so still no photos, seems that i´m not into it as i was some years ago, i have ideas enough but i need my and the time for it.
finally im getting used to me short hair, pfew. its pretty practical! and not so normal anymore, since i throw it in spikes and weird colours.
man i think i never wrote such a long journal

now i need to tag another 6 persons!! umm....



Rules:
The 1st player of this "game" starts with the topic "6 weird habits/things about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a journal about their 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly.
In the end, you need to choose the next 6 people to be tagged and list their names.
Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their devpage comments and tell them to read yours.

]]> ~natalicious