http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:nerri&section=today deviantART RSS for by:nerri en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:29:50 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/28627662/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/28627662/ Sat, 28 Nov 2009 10:30:35 PST
I don't want to elaborate, I just hope everything will end up well D; Jesus.

Also, I'm still sick. I think I'll have to visit a doctor on monday. Hopefully it's just a cold.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/28545234/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/28545234/ Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:18:19 PST [link]

IT IS PRETTY. DON'T YOU THINK SO? YES YOU DO.
/jedi mind trick

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/28413792/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/28413792/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:10:55 PST
Mom: Well, they tend to do that.

Me: Oh?

Mom: You know, when people are afraid, they smell differently. It's hormones.

Me: ...

Mom: All people are like that.

Me: So... you mean this spider smelled my fear and this is why it started to walk towards me?

Mom: Yep.

_{I'm never going to sleep again}

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/27850011/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/27850011/ Mon, 19 Oct 2009 08:40:16 PDT
So, I logged in today after being gone for two weeks and I saw over 600 deviations waiting for me.

F.

Then I saw almopst 400 journals waiting to be read.

Double f.

Needless to say, I gave up and deleted it all. Yeah, no patience there P:

Alllso it turns out I'm an oracle of sorts, since my computer did break down. It was being repaired for the past two weeks. I got a new hard disk and drive, since they have been both broken. Apparently.

So, I turn on my computer for the first time and it makes different sounds than before. Glrgh. Also, it loads a bit differently. I'll need to get used to it.

...it opened in safe mode. I've read it's normal because the disk has been changed, so ok. No worries.

...then an hour later my antivirus finds a trojan in an empty disk.

Oooookay.

I hope everything will be fine from now on, though I do have doubts D:

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/27428407/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/27428407/ Sat, 26 Sep 2009 12:29:58 PDT [link]

is awesome

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/27427167/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/27427167/ Sat, 26 Sep 2009 11:18:54 PDT
The worst thing is, it's apparently 'fixed', and it's too heavy for me to carry to the service. I don't really want to push my luck by asking for help this time \:

Uh.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/27242840/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/27242840/ Wed, 16 Sep 2009 10:18:38 PDT
@___@

I have a paranoia now. What if the virus comes back... somehow...

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26992655/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26992655/ Thu, 03 Sep 2009 08:56:32 PDT It wasn't working yesterday.

Wut wut wut

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26975222/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26975222/ Wed, 02 Sep 2009 11:12:08 PDT then freeze again during installing drivers. By the way, I still don't have sound, so most propably the sound card is damaged or something.

Also, I can't find my papers that I'll need for an upcoming English exam



I gotta find them...

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
8D
I want to draw. Yes, that is my bright side.

EDIT: Situation improved! No, I didn't throw my computer off the fourth floor I live on. Though it would relieve stress.
I found my English papers; they were in my history schoolbook... for... some reason.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26893844/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26893844/ Sat, 29 Aug 2009 11:08:05 PDT
]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26856089/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26856089/ Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:34:21 PDT
It's not like I forget what's the problem. I think I figured it about a year ago or so, but if I concentrated on it I don't think I'd be mentally able to survive the first year of high school. In turn it made me more easily frustrated or stressed by the littles things, but they were like that, little and solvable. It always made me a little better when I managed to solve another small problem of mine, pass another exam, or help someone in class. Yes, I admit it fully, when I help others I do it because it makes me feel better. I don't feel ashamed for this. I'm not an altruist. It's not like people who I help care why I help them. In the end, for them it doesn't really matter.

I'm used to my mom taking out her frustration on me, her fear and guilt. When I was younger it used to hurt me a lot, but some time ago I've really listened to what she's been saying and I realised it's the same thing she's been repeating over and over again for years; and I realised it's a bunch of bull. It's still hurts, of course, I'm oversensitive and can't really protect myself from this, but it doesn't take long for me to shrug it off and forget it. Because I'm used to it already; ha, sure it took a long time. I'm used to her dismissing my problems as unimportant or laughing at me, while she spent hours just the year before convincing me to tell her what was wrong and that she'd listen. It hurts a bit more, because when I really need her, she tells me it's not important. But I got used to it, too.

It's when she pulls shit like today when I just can't shrug it off anymore. It sounds stupid and unimportant, maybe it is, it's not more serious like the thing she does everyday, but the simple fact that it doesn't happen so often throws me off my guard.

I don't expect everything to become like it once was, because it's impossible. I don't expect her to fix all my problems, or even listen to them; I just wish she'd stop pretending that she cares, that she can give advice or help me when she obviously can't. I wish she'd stop getting rid of her guilt and frustration by taking it out on me. I'll suck up my problems if she does just the same.

That's all, really. I don't want anything more.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26788814/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26788814/ Mon, 24 Aug 2009 04:32:16 PDT
Kind of depressing. I promised myself I'd try to learn a bit, but in the end... I just sorta slept through it. Oh, and visited doctors. Ah well.

At least I bought a German book. I need to pass this damn exam. I actually like German, too. But it's an unrequited feeling ):

I was supposed to leave on vacation, but it turns out I couldn't. Sudden lackofmoney. I'll have to wait with buying most of my schoolbooks too. I should manage, though.

I do have to admit that everytime I read/hear about people I know leaving for their holiday to go to the other countries, I feel a tinge of jealousy. I only left my country once, to go to London, and only because my mom worked there. On the bright side, it was one of the best times I've ever had.

I can't find the fourth tome of HP. Anywhere! I have all the tomes except seventh; I've read it only in English, disliked the ending, gagged at the epilogue and decided that there's no way in hell I'll be buying it (I borrowed it from a friend). I have a feeling that I might have lent my book to someone, but I can't figure it out... crap.

Oh well.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26589080/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26589080/ Fri, 14 Aug 2009 12:13:57 PDT
I was recultant to go, because the fifth movie was... just for the lulz, really, but my mom likes HP so yeah.

Well, plot-wise it was... okay, I guess. I liked the few things they have added (the fish... ): ) though they changed some things. Not like I expected anything else.

The music was fine. The acting... I can't comment on it, the horrible dubbing was distracting me |:

But, dear god, the scenery. The visual part of the movie. It was brilliant. There were many scenes that looked just like a photo or a painting, and many, many big forests and mountains. Great! I've also liked the parts that were horror-like influenced. Young Tom Riddle reminded me strongly of the kid from Omen, for example.

In the end, it was definitely worth seeing.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26565558/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26565558/ Thu, 13 Aug 2009 09:33:04 PDT Luna666 ...um, about three years ago? 8D It was a birthday present; a big, grey-ish poster... of Jack Sparrow

Ahh. I haven't hung it before because I was afraid to destroy it, to be honest. But last night (after I cleaned my desk... I had trouble finding the, well, desk, under all that crap I've kept there) I thought "why the hell not" and finally glued it to the wall.

(: My room looks less empty now. I've also found a really old LoTR poster (it belonged to my mom) and I'll be hanging it soon too! V:

....

yeah my life is very exciting

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26416266/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26416266/ Thu, 06 Aug 2009 04:35:19 PDT
My computer is acting all crazy again. It refused to turn on today, giving me handful of options on a nice black screen, but they all ended it reset.

I tried the fix option (once again) with the lovely windows CD (original!!!!). Unlike last time, I had to press F3 to reboot (usually it did without my help) to access the second part of installation. Unlike last time, there was no second part, my system turned on normally.

You see, I've reinstalled/fixed the goddamn system so many times, that I notice the small details that can be different sometimes; and they're all like a big, red flag screaming "abort! abort!" (yes, I think about talking flags. Shut up)

I was supposed to leave on vacation on 15th, and then my computer would finally get fixed by professionals; a.ka. people that actually get paid to fix computers, since -I- have no idea wtf is going on with it (I was suspecting virus, then sound card, then virus...).

Code word - supposed.

Since it turns out I can't afford leaving on vacation this year and neither can I afford fixing that shit, I'm forced to spend another unlimited time rebooting... re-installing... and praying it wouldn't crash on me while I'm turning it on.

Lovely.

On the top of that, my cactus died. Why?

It's too dry.



]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26208885/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/26208885/ Mon, 27 Jul 2009 10:23:46 PDT
I got new medicine. Big, fat pills. They smell like crap, I swear. They're grey; another sign that they belong in the toilet.

Whatever.

I've watched Code Geass yesterday. It... sucked. I don't know why so many people are fangasming over it.

Time passes too fast. I want the holidays to last longer!

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/25563704/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/25563704/ Fri, 26 Jun 2009 10:06:23 PDT
And apparently, this and my knee problems can be linked.

Into this [link]

Which will be never fully healed, but without treatment I'm screwed.

Of course, nothing is sure yet, I have to do some blood tests and shiz on monday, but still. I've been going to more than 3 different doctors about my skin and none of them even hinted that it may be this. No, nope, nada. Haha, I remember when I went to a doctor about my knees he told me to WAIT TILL IT GOES AWAY PFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

|: I am not very amused.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/25414168/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/25414168/ Fri, 19 Jun 2009 11:33:25 PDT [link]

? 8D

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/25372390/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/25372390/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:02:20 PDT nah.

I have.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/25343876/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/25343876/ Tue, 16 Jun 2009 04:20:02 PDT
I even used to have nightmares of them as a child. Well, I had many nightmares in general (I still do, but they feature less monsters and are generally more psychedelic) but most of them had spiders in it. Like this one where I looked in the mirrors and had spiders in my hair, or the one where I, as a child, was tied to a giant spider's skeleton(??) and there were many little spiders crawling around. You get the idea.

I know a spider can't hurt me - I don't live in Australia after all, and spiders aren't all that poisonous where I live - but that doesn't stop me from being scared. I don't care where the spiders are, as long as they stay away from me.

Just yesterday, 11 PM, I was getting to sleep. I'm sick, so I go to bed earlier than usual, since I feel sleepy all the time (11PM is early for me; I usually am sleepy in the morning and full of energy the later it gets). I have bright floor and walls in my room, and there still aren't many things inside; just my bed, my desk and a bookshelf. So the giant black spider on my wall was easy to notice.

I'm not kidding, I froze in terror. It was the biggest freaking spider I've seen my whole life, live that is. You can laugh, it's just a spider after all, but I can't control what I fear.

I decided to calm myself down; I wanted to sleep, and besides, it wasn't like this spider was going to climb to my bed, I was pretty sure it had better, spider-y things to do.

...Just as I thought that, it started walking into my bed's direction.

Well, crap.

It stopped, but these few steps were enough to scare the hell out of me.

I walked to it slowly; I was afraid of hitting it (with a boot or something) too. What if I missed? So I walked from the opposite side to my bed, breathed air on it since I heard that spiders walk in the wind's direction, because they find their prey this way; I wanted to lure him away from my freaking bed. The spider, instead of walking fell down on the floor, unmoving. It looked kinda dead, so I decided to get a glass, cover him with it and get rid of him tomorrow.

I took just a few steps, it took less than a second I swear, and then looked over my shoulder, just to check.

He was gone.

Completely.

I've checked the whole floor, walls, ceiling, bedsheets; it was nowhere.

Slightly paranoic, I decided to call it a day. I turned the lights off and went to bed, still scared a bit.

Half an hour must have passed at least. I never fall asleep easily and the fear of walking up to a spider in my face didn't help. However, I finally managed to relax. Just as I was falling asleep, I heard a faint sound. It was kind of like the ticking of my clock, except much faster and I still could hear the original clock in the background.

It sounded like steps. Of very small foot.

Now, don't blame me for being stupid. I sat up on my bed, terrified, but I said to myself that damn, it couldn't be that stupid spider. He was much too small to made that sound after all. But I got up and turned on the lights anyway, just to reassure myself.

Guess what I saw on the wall.

I walked to it again slowly, but just after a few steps the spider fell down again. This time, however, it didn't play dead, but ran very quickly and hid under the floor.

I took a few calming breaths and went to the kitchen to fetch a glass. I was determined to capture that bugger next time it decided to went out. I came back to my room with the glass in my hand and went to check out the creak in the floor where the spider hid, just for a good measure.

It wasn't there.

With the thought that I propably didn't see it I turned around to face my bed, thinking of putting the glass away and trying to sleep again.

My bed is situated very close to the floor. There's minimal space between it and the, well, floor.

A half of a spider was sticking out of there, with some of its long legs.

I just stared for good ten seconds. Then, unexpectedly, one of the long, black legs twitched, and the whole spider disappeared under my bed.

I didn't fall asleep for over 2 hours that night.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/25216036/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/25216036/ Tue, 09 Jun 2009 12:10:59 PDT
This is not directed at anyone in particular, mind you. Just at the general fad.

I mean, everyone - or at least most people - love getting comments. It's absolutely normal.

Also, I personally think that a comment is worth more than a fav; because a fav just requires one click, but when you comment you actually have to think.

However, I appreciate both favs and comments. They're a sign that somebody had liked my work. And so, I actually find the 'requests' for comments as insulting; I mean, hello, if you don't get any comments maybe it's because there's nothing to say. Not because all the people who saw your picture happened to be lazy and needed a 'motivation' >_>

And if somebody actually listens to that rule, they rarely post some super-meaningful critiques or awesomely long comments. It's usually just one word, like "nice". And yeah, that surely says a lot.

But of course, it's quantity over quality nowadays >_>

Blargh.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24752261/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24752261/ Thu, 14 May 2009 11:20:16 PDT
Now, you see, I've had this... eternal-cold-flu-thing since, idk, september? It's gotten worse lately. My head and throat really hurt today... so I was sitting in the class, listening to my classmate reading the symptoms of a normal flu that covers the swine flu as well. Since I have a flu, the symptoms matched mine.

...someone up there is trying to get me down |: I am not amused.

I'll be going to the doctor tomorrow, propably. Just in case... and I do want to get rid of that goddam flu.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24736037/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24736037/ Wed, 13 May 2009 11:32:16 PDT My grandma used it three times earlier the same day. Every time it worked.
I... broke the stove.



Reminds me of the time when I touched the computer... and it broke. Then I touched the cable of TV - it fell off. The very same day I touched the phone /and/ the speaking phone - both fell of the wall.

Ohgoddammit.

Edit: Just as I wrote it, the stove started working again ಠ_ಠ
I don't know what to think anymore...

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24630215/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24630215/ Thu, 07 May 2009 05:58:00 PDT When I woke up today, I felt like a total piece of... something very disgusting you may find on your shoe when you're walking in tall grass. I was feeling so bad - emotionally, duh - that I was actually shivering.

As I walked to school, I saw a bird on a road. It had something wrong with its legs, so it couldn't stand. It was flapping its wings like crazy instead, in order to get off the street.

It looked terrible. At least it managed to get somewhere where the cars couldn't hurt it, but gods. I really hope it's fine-- yes, I'm naive I know.

With my spirits rather down, I arrived at school... and was welcomed by two wonderful hours talking about existentialism. You know, the philosophy that says that nothing but your work matters - not your feelings, hopes, goals, emotions and that we're all going to die in the end.

At this point I was wondering if it was the national Depress Nerri day.

Thankfully, my spirits went up as the time progressed - who would have thought school could have anything but negative effect on one's mind? Anyway.

I hate hormones.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24616713/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24616713/ Wed, 06 May 2009 11:18:45 PDT [link] <- I've watched this movie.
Hm.
It was... interesting, but I expected something far more psychedelic. Mind-turning.
It was kind of disappointing actually and after the first effects of oh-god-that-guy-is-really-ARGH-URGH-DAMNIT-EW wore off, the movie was just... boring, really.
Instead of getting more creepy it got uh-huh-wat-uh-okay ... If you get what I mean.
Nah.

): Some time ago, I've watched a tiny-little bit of a movie. I couldn't see it whole but I've saved the newspaper, so I could remember the title and look it up later. Of course, my lovely grandma threw out the newspaper (WHICH I SAVED IN MY GODDAMN ROOM) and I couldn't find wth it was called. It was quite some time ago and I still lust after that movie.

I was pretty sure Angelina Jolie was playing in it, but no move even relatively similiar was mentioned with her (and I searched thorougly) so... I must have been mistaken.

Aw damn.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24474821/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24474821/ Tue, 28 Apr 2009 04:52:25 PDT Today, I had to use the "fix" option. I managed to get it to work without formatting it again, so it took one hour instead of three-four, but JESUS.
WHAT THE.
No, seriously. I'm tired of my computer freezing for no freaking reason. You may think it's a silly problem compared to the, eh, more real-life ones, but I think I begin to get a mental breakdown because of this. It's just so frustrating.
Thank goodness I'm leaving for a few days soon; maybe I'll cool off and then finally do something serious about this piece of crap.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24438835/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24438835/ Sun, 26 Apr 2009 03:35:51 PDT uh, it was centered towards money money money and the staff froze for saying the word NAKED.
Did something change while I was gone or something?

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24421932/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24421932/ Sat, 25 Apr 2009 05:12:54 PDT
Maybe... confused is a good word.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24421605/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24421605/ Sat, 25 Apr 2009 04:19:41 PDT
When I woke up, it was half past eleven. I went to the bathroom and got dressed. After I came out, my grandmother told me this adorable story.

Apparently, when she picked up the speakphone earlier(the time when it rung) she heard a slurred voice. Then the voice asked if she was Mrs. Putherlastnamethere, because her ex-husband wanted to talk with her. Now, my mom no longer lives there, but she and my grandma share the same last name. My grandfather, and her only husband, has been dead for 18 years now, so it was pretty obvious who the call was for and who was the caller. But she said yes anyway, because you know, it is her last name and it is her house. Then the person who called gave phone to my father. My father, whom I haven't seen nor have any contact with for about three years. My father, who called me for the last time said these three years earlier and said he'd come visit me the next day. He never came. My father, whose adress I don't know and had his phone taken away because he couldn't pay the bills, so I had no way of calling him. My father, whom I have missed especially since my mom has moved away.
And my grandma hung up on him. She hung up because, as she told me, he "shouldn't have asked some drunkard to help him".
For fucks sake, I wouldn't care if he had the whole town with him. I wanted to get in touch with him for some time now, but I had no idea how. Now thanks to my grandma I propably will never see him again.
He's not a random idiot who couldn't manage his life because he was an alcoholic, like he's for my grandma. He's my fucking father. Either she's a complete idiot and doesn't get that, or she doesn't give a shit.

I'm not speaking to her. At least not until she says sorry. Like, sorry for ruining your chances with speaking to your father the first time for the last three years. I doubt she'll ever apologise though, she did the bestest thing ever after all.

Gods, I'm so pissed I feel like crying all the time.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24358525/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24358525/ Tue, 21 Apr 2009 10:59:21 PDT
...

read: I freaking spilled ketchup on my keyboard. Damnit. I have no idea how it happened.
):
I tried to clean it and it looks fine now, but I still feel... uneasy. What if something starts to live there?!
I've had this keyboard for... eight years I think. And I was a very messy kid. So you can imagine how it looks like now D:

udhjhfsgdjhsfd I think I'll buy a new keyboard tomorrow. And I WILL clean this one.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24286933/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24286933/ Fri, 17 Apr 2009 07:44:13 PDT
_{Signs of greatest overall incompatibility: Gemini, Virgo, Pisces}

and a few lines down

_{Sign best for marriage and/ or partnership: Gemini}

.....
let me know what you think about it XD

taken from there: [link]

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24195400/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24195400/ Sun, 12 Apr 2009 06:49:19 PDT
It's not like I hate these holidays, but seeing as I'm pretty much agnostic, I find it a great waste of time and effort. That's all.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24164841/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24164841/ Fri, 10 Apr 2009 12:38:02 PDT When uploading, you have to be subscribed to be able request a critique, right?
Right.
So.
Does it mean
That only people who paid real money are supposed to be able to get critiques and to improve?
...
FUN.

dA amuses me.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24091295/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24091295/ Mon, 06 Apr 2009 10:28:44 PDT ALSO

she made me do this:

[link]

):


ALL HER FAULT

I...
I'm not responsible.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24022279/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/24022279/ Thu, 02 Apr 2009 12:01:00 PDT I mean, a snowman? Okay, it was cute and all but hardly... you know, mind-turning. One could've easily missed it.
I'm disappointed ):

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/23984160/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/23984160/ Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:29:43 PDT My mom just told me
She found my dA account
and she's going to register so she can comment
it means
she's going to see
my...
...interesting...
.......pieces....
Not that there are more than... one, but sfkhsdjfg I was just getting over my shyness D:
...
...
...I shope she forgets. If not... then she'll have to deal with a massive trauma.

(I also hope her english really is as bad as I think it is so she can't read this entry 8D' ...)

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/23947368/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/23947368/ Sun, 29 Mar 2009 08:43:48 PDT
Now the thing you must know lately my immune system has been failing me comple-freaking-tely. I wouldn't get a fever, no; I'd get really, really weak instead. And then the usual occurences of cold follow, you know sore throat and so. This is normal enough.
But then, after that passes:
1) My head would start to itch
2) My gums would start to hurt
3) The skin would peel off my hands and face
...and then there's much, much more. But then, there's this latest addiction to my lovely collection:
389594) MY FREAKING EYE.
Let me start; at first, I thought a vein in my eye has popped so I'd just shrug it off and wait until it passes. It's first happened a few weeks ago, when I was rly, rly sick (did I just say rly rly? Oh god). Then it passed. And now, that I've gotten slightly sick again my eye started to hurt too. So I looked into my mirror closely...
...and I think it's this : [link]
The description and everything fits. It's not like it hurts that much or itches or anything, but there's a pressure on my eyeball and it's GODDAMN ANNOYING.
On top of that, I have this irrational fear of having my eyeballs touched. Everytime I'd see a person touching their own eyeballs or something, or gouging eyes out in a movie I'd freak out. It's also one of the reasons I'd never, ever wear contact lenses.
AND NOW THIS.
And I have, like, four exams tomorrow.
Damn damn damn

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/23605976/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/23605976/ Mon, 09 Mar 2009 09:07:03 PDT "It is too late, my Nerrial is in your veins."
_{The Lost Boys (1987)
( the missing word was 'blood' )}

[link]

Quotes generators ROCK.

EDIT:
On the second thought....
"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to Nerrial."
_{Which movie was this quote from?
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
( the missing word was 'suffering' )}

):

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/23551295/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/23551295/ Fri, 06 Mar 2009 03:50:12 PST [link]

I lol'd.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/23469806/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/23469806/ Sun, 01 Mar 2009 12:28:35 PST

I figured I could push that last journal down.
And ohgod I have so many exams next week. And it's 9 PM, Sunday.
The worst time of the week EVER.
I'm so scared. I won't do it. Also, I'll propably get the result from the polish exam; I know I failed, because I screwed up so badly, but the wait is exhausting.
This is all terrible. I want my holidays back. I want no stupid exams. I want to go homeeeeeeee
Wait. I am home. Damn.
It's just so tiring. I feel so empty. I don't want to do anything, even get out of the bed in the morning. It's not like I feel depressed, just... tired. All the time.
/sigh

Ahh... It's a good thing there are many wonderful things to look forward to

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/23362506/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/23362506/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 12:43:54 PST disgusting.
I dreamt that I was tied down to the bed by a bedsheet. I don't know where I was, but the room seemed familiar somehow... Nevermind. I couldn't move. There was an older woman, but she wouldn't help me. Anyway, she isn't important. There was also a man. I told him to untie me, and I recall I sounded rather angry (wouldn't you?). Anyway, he walked up to me, and...
...he goddamn puked on me.
What. The. Hell.
Then I woke up. At 4 AM. Because it was too disgusting.
What a nice start of a week.

I seriously hope this isn't some sort of an omen for the next week. Urgh. I mean, seriously. Eww.
Thankfully the next dream was more pleasant, but it was still extremely creepy. At times like this I start wondering about my mental state.
Ah well, it may be just after effects after the... stomach flu(?) I had.
Nah.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22756133/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22756133/ Fri, 23 Jan 2009 09:35:36 PST ekhm
[link]

Yeah... I got into Hetalia fandom <3 I think the idea is nice, but it simply needs to be done tastefully. Like, no gloryfying murder.
For now, it's doing fine.
(Pastaaaa)
Of course, since I'm a closet patriot, my favourite character is Feliks <3 He's funny too~ Like, totally.
_{Though I don't get the whole Let's-dress-Feliks-in-a-dress-yay. It's not like Poland's a nation of cross-dressers... ... ...right?}
I also think there should be more of him in the manga XD ...then again Poland was always kind of... neglected. |:
Nah.

Anywayyy
OMG WINTER BREAK STARTED YAY YAY YAY
I thought I wouldn't make it. Seriously. I'm going to spend these two weeks sleeping. And sleeping. Moar sleeping.
<333
I love to sleep. It's my favourite activity~ er, lazyvity.
How are you guys doing?

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22627523/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22627523/ Sat, 17 Jan 2009 06:00:50 PST
Anyway

I lent borrowed the Twilight book from my friend. I decided to read it, because I've read a lot about it, but I think that judging a book without even reading it is just dumb.
I finished it today and I have to say that:
I cannot, and propably never will, how some intelligent and literate people, people I know, can call this a good book.
I could understand this phenomenon if it was written at least decently. But it's not. It's the most poorly written thing I've ever read. Well, not the most, if I count some fanfics I've read, but I still remember some that made more sense than this.
The writing style is stiff, and despite being in the first person, also unemotional. It's almost as if the author had no experience writing /at all/.
During the reading, I've started to think - completely seriously, not out of spite - that the main characters has some serious mental problems.
Also, there were a few moments that so terribly didn't fit in... For example, this scene where Edwards reveals his feelings. He called Bella his "most important thing".
Wow. Congrats, Bella. You're a thing now. Isn't this what every girl dreams of?

It's... a very disturbing book to read.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22393005/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22393005/ Sun, 04 Jan 2009 11:58:23 PST First of all, I had, well, normal christmas *shrug* Like normal days to me. No christmas atmosphere, no nothing. Actually, I wished I could just slept through them. I don't care about presents.
(Besides, isn't spending christmas with someone you hate some kind of blasphemy?)
New Year party was cooler-- Because I spent it with my friends 8D Except...
The day after, my friend started to feel nauseous and sick. The next day, I had to spend the WHOLE FREAKING NIGHT praying to WC pan. Then I got the information that another one of my friends got sick.
...and today my brother started vomitting as well.
Until then, I could've thought that it was all a concidence, because both me and my friends ate different food, but I ate too much and theirs wasn't too healthy. But my brother? He's 1,5 years old, allergic, and my mom's VERY careful about what he eats.
So... yeah.
No school for me. Doctor tiem instead |: I hate skipping schooooool.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22138507/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22138507/ Tue, 23 Dec 2008 10:03:01 PST OH WHILE I AM AT IT
YOU HACKERS. YES YOU. I HOPE YOU ALL DIE.
/end transmission
So, back to the thing. I had a hard time re-installing, because something seemed wrong (though it was propably my fault) but I managed to re-install it. Somehow. After two hours (it usually takes this long. Can you imagine the joy?). So I write the account's name, like usual, wait for the damn thing to load and... wth.
Seriously. Wth.
I have two accounts. One, the new. ANOTHER, the one before the re-installing. Both fully functional... with the same name (except the new one has a default avatar and no cool stuff on it).
Just... wth.
Oh right.

This... is... WINDOWS

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22063123/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22063123/ Fri, 19 Dec 2008 08:53:08 PST [link]

...this is the reason I want to become a translato[e?]r. So I can translate things like that to English.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22030525/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22030525/ Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:03:30 PST
I... I'm addicted to pokemon D: I need to draw them. It's bad DDD:

WARNING. IT SPREADS.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22011992/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/22011992/ Tue, 16 Dec 2008 09:06:06 PST I somehow managed to get some good/decent grades. But... Yeah.
I wonder if the 'angsty teen' stage is just a part of growing up. Like, you start to notice things you haven't before. For example, I've just noticed I don't have a healthy family situation nor I'll ever have. It's kind of sad.
My mom and dad divorced about... 3 years ago (though he moved out earlier)? The last time I had contact with my dad was 3 years ago as well. He phoned me and promised he'd visit the next day.
He never came.
He never phoned again too.
And I can't call him, because he had his phone taken away.
Sometimes I wonder how would everything be like if my dad didn't have a drinking problem and if he didn't lie to my mom about money. Even if they did divorce, maybe I'd still have contact with him?
It's like I have a half of a family less.
This is why I hate that kind of movies where "mommy and daddy get divorced so the kids hook them up again yay yay yay". Because shit, it doesn't happen in real life.
Also, my moms boyfriend annoys the hell out of me. I try to be nice to him (or at least neutral), I'm desperately trying not to be mean, but hell. He interrupts my talks with mom and criticises me. As if he had a right.
But he doesn't.
I've never felt like hurting someone, but now I do. I seriously feel like I can punch him in his stupid, smiling face. Also, when it's worse, I feel like I can actually kill him. I'm not kidding. He drives me insane. I think I may have a mental breakdown soon.
My mom knows this. She talked with him about that (she told me so) but there's no effect.
I know it's wrong, but... I just wish he'd die.
But then we'd have money problems so |: In fact, it was the only thing that stopped me from seriously hurting him - we'd have money problems. Waaaaaaaay to go, Nerri.
...
I still wish he'd die.
Ugh, it all sounds so depressing. If that's what growing up means, then screw it, I want to go back to being an oblivious child, kthnxbai.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/21944687/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/21944687/ Fri, 12 Dec 2008 09:44:24 PST like
birthday tomorrow



]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/21927209/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/21927209/ Thu, 11 Dec 2008 07:57:41 PST

/catching up/

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/21896963/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/21896963/ Tue, 09 Dec 2008 11:35:00 PST
WHY

I don't get it. I get as much sleep as usual, but I'm so tired as I didn't get any sleep at all!
And I have two exams on Friday D:
I hope the tiredness will go away soon.
And I can't wait for christmas. It's depressing, but at least there's a winter break so I can get some sleep.

Finally

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/21829340/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/21829340/ Fri, 05 Dec 2008 10:26:22 PST Actually, I've been sick for a week. I'm getting better now.
Of course, I have no idea what I missed at school, so the next week is going to be hell.
Also, my mom and by little brother live with me for the time being. It's not cool. It's not fun. It's extremely stressful and I wish she'd move out already. As if I didn't have enough stress in my life, she just had to come back suddenly, didn't she?
Gah. There are more things but I just really don't know how to write about it.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/21338830/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/21338830/ Wed, 05 Nov 2008 11:46:27 PST Of course the school nurse was home by then. Fun. And I had no pain killers. More fun.
Somehow, I managed to live through the lessons (barely) and my friend walked me home (so I wouldn't faint on the street or something).
I live on the fourth floor, without an elevator. By the time I started to climb the stairs, my back started to hurt as well.
Moar fun.
When I arrived home, I took two pain killers, threw up three times and went to sleep. I woke up three hours later, the pain finally gone. Thank god.
But ugh, seriously. I'll miss school again. I hate missing school.
And I was supposed to go to the doctor today, with my knees. I have, well, sick knees. Or something. I'm too tired to open the dictionary to check how it's spelled in English XD
So, I have sick knees, slight scoliosis(not extreme, but it's enough to make my left leg hurt and make my left foot feel numb), bad eyesight, propably bad hearing as well and bunch of other things.
._. I feel bad now.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/21218502/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/21218502/ Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:44:29 PDT

If you comment I'll give you a letter of the alphabet and you have to make a journal and list TEN THINGS you like starting with the letter I give you.

My letter is B

1. Books
2. Break (as in school break, winter break... P: )
3. Bon Bons
4. Boomerangs (I had one as a kid... but I broke it)
5. BRAINS
6. Blizzards (especially if I safe in my warm house~)
7. Bikes (better than cars)
8. Blue (the colour... obviously)
9. Beach (with sand on it. The rocky ones are no fun)
10. MY BRIGHT FUTURE _yeah.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/20982544/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/20982544/ Tue, 14 Oct 2008 08:40:51 PDT There's something oddly... addicting in breeding pixels.
Or maybe I'm just weird XD
Mmm, that's propably it.
Anywayyy, if anyone loves these kind of games too, I have some waja invites 8D (wajas.com) You currently can't log in without one, so...
Also I have three invites for Aramii (Aramii.com). You can register there without an invite though, but it'd really help me if you used one of my invites C: So, if anyone's interested... Just drop me a note, haha.

Well.
Last week was really tiring. Studying until 1 AM and then waking up at 6 AM is not fun, kiddies. Five hours of sleep is NOT enough (even though my friend claims otherwise. He goes to sleep at 3 AM).
I need 12 hours of my beauty sleep D:
Also, I think because of the lack of sleep there's something wrong with my memory. There was this situation... I was dead tired and I remember asking my teacher about my homework. She explained everything nicely and everything was fine, but when the lesson ended I couldn't remember (no matter how hard I tried) to recall wth she said to me o__o' I still can't. I just remember she explained.
Hmmmm.
Oh well, I feel better now because I slept some more. Sleep is good for brains!
Yes it is.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/20687896/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/20687896/ Fri, 26 Sep 2008 14:15:27 PDT I've just read a horror manga. It wasn't silly, it was freaky. It's 11 PM.
CLEVER Nerri. Clever.


Anywayyy, you'll never guess what I'm making. I'm making a list. Yes, a list.
A list... of my freudian slips.
I've had so many of them it's scary o_o
That's why I get for being a perverted normal teenager, I guess.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/20504172/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/20504172/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 11:17:01 PDT
Sorry for spamming your inboxes |D

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/20504064/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/20504064/ Mon, 15 Sep 2008 11:08:46 PDT Big mistake.
She started to tell me how to fix it, but I didn't want to do it her way because I wouldn't be comfortable, I wanted to solve it myself. Then she started to practically yell at me for a good freaking time and then she started to talk about how it was when she was in school and how she solved her fucking problems. I was close to just hang up many times, but I've never had the guts to do it. Next time, God, I swear I will hang up. Why am I scared anyway? What can she do, she doesn't even live in the same house.
And guess what. I don't give a fuck how she solved her problems, what her fucking problems were and how she fucking feels, especially because after she said "tell me I'll listen" after I've said one fucking sentence all she can do is bitch about how I'm selfish and self-centered and how my life will be fucked up in the future.
She has the nerve to butt in my life after she has left me. She got pregnant with a man I hate and left me alone; Oh! I forgot! She was merciful enough to give me a fucking choice if I want to move in! Oh! It'd be so amazing to live under the same roof as this asshole and far away from my friends! Just awesome! How could've I missed that?!
I wish she'd just stop calling me and leave me all alone. But no, just has to try to control me as if she had the right. She doesn't. Not since she left.
And she acts as if she's the one in bad situation, forced to move away, because there's no room, but oh! she mercifully let me stay home and she's so unhappy with that! Did I mention how bad she feels?
I don't give a fuck how she feels. Not anymore. It's not like it was me who got pregnant! It's not like I've stopped taking the pills on fucking purpose and then had sex! AND she had the nerve to tell me that she's older and knows more and insightful.
Yeah. Very fucking insightful.
Even if she says she listens, I can't say one thing because then she starts to rant about how SHE feels and how selfish I am and how I think only about myself and obviously I am just sitting in one place and thinking how bad my life is. Well, it's all obviously so true because she knows me the best.
And she sees me once a week and knows so much! Oh, sweet irony.
Actually, it's funny how it always comes around how selfish I am. Gods, I've heard this my whole life, how I only wallow in self-pity and all that crap. Even since I've been a kid, she's been always saying that.
It hurts. And I can't even say a thing in defence, she just brushes it off because she knows better.
It's annoying and painful how she says that, even after she left me... Oh, excuse me! I had a choice! I could move in!
A choice would be if she asked me when she got pregnant. If she talked with me. But she hid the fact and I got to know two months late.
What the fuck does she expect. That I'd dance around, happily, nodding cheerfully as my whole life changes?
Fat chance.
I just hate how she assumes how I feel. No, wait, she doesn't assume, she knows. How she doesn't let me talk because she knows what I'll say.
I just want to throw something. Or sit down and cry. Which is what I'm doing at the moment, mind you.
I wish she'd just leave me alone. She had no problems with moving out, so why does she keep bothering me?
I don't care. I won't answer her calls anymore. It's not like she can come over. I'm not going to answer the phone just to hear what a terrible person I am when I try to tell her how I feel.

]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/20488477/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/20488477/ Sun, 14 Sep 2008 12:00:19 PDT
Tagged by
RULES:
1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most. (..why only five? I have, like, over 40! It's hard to choose!)
2. Make them answer the following questions.
3. Then tag three people. (...I don't like tagging :C )
4. Feel free to go ahead and add some question yourself!!

CHARACTERS:
Noel
Arakiel
Atsubeki
Rinao
Mint
Raemus

Who/What are you?
Noel: Last time I checked, I was a human. Then again, it was long time ago... *muses*
Arakiel: I'm a werewolf. I have red hair. Red hair is the most awesome hair ever.
Atsubeki: Um, I'm a demon. Kind of. Don't worry, I'm quite friendly actually! Unlike... some others.
Rinao: Just call me Rina! What I am... It's a secret~
Mint: Ugh. Don't even remind me.
Raemus: I-I'm a demon. Sort of.

How old are you?
Noel: I'm 17. ...I think.
Arakiel: Age. Numbers. Who cares about them?
Atsubeki: It's embarassing, but... I don't really remember.
Rinao: I'm 19~
Mint: 19.
Raemus: I'm not sure. I don't remember when I was born.

WANT A HUG?
Noel: No, not really.
Arakiel: What's a hug?
Atsubeki: Aww, sure. Come there!
Rinao: I don't hug strangers...
Mint: F*CK NO.
Raemus: ACK! *jumps back, scared*

You got any bad habits?
Noel: Too many to count. *sulk*
Arakiel: Unless you count biting to death people I dislike... Then none! *grin*
Atsubeki: My tail! It swishes so loudly when I'm angry, or happy or scared or embarassed... It gives my emotions away!
Rinao: When I'm nervous, I tend to make the plants around me grow. Rapidly. It's embarassing.
Mint: Of course not. I'm perfect.
...
...Why are you looking at me like that.
Raemus: Do you consider vomiting nightmares a bad habit?

Are you a boy or a girl?
Noel: I thought it was obvious. I'm a boy.
Arakiel: I'm a b--... Wait, why would you want to know that?! You're planning something, aren't you??
Atsubeki: *blinks* I'm a boy.
Rinao: I'm a girl~
Mint: I'm a boy. No, I'm not a girl. Yes, I know that I'm girly but I'm -not- a girl for goodness sake! Get it through your thick skull! Just because I... *insert rant there*
Raemus: I'm male.

Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Noel: I have a younger sister, Maia.
Arakiel: Yeah, but I don't know where they are *shrug*
Atsubeki: Um. I don't really have parents, so I doubt.
Rinao: Yup, I've got a twin brother, Nao.
Mint: Yes. Unfortunately. I wish they'd die.
Raemus: Not by blood, but I consider Okshna and Rabuta my brothers.

Are you a virgin?
Noel: That's a weird thing to ask, don't you think? Well, yes I am.
Arakiel: Stop taunting me! It's not my fault I'm not an adult yet!
Atsubeki: ...*blush* Uh, yeah.
Rinao: *giggle* I'm not giving out this information to strangers, silly!
Mint: Well duh *rolls eyes* It's none of your business, really.
Raemus: Yes.

Who's your crush/mate/spouse?
Noel: *heavy sigh*
Arakiel: Don't have one. But I'll get one! *determined*
Atsubeki: *blushes some harder, his tail swishing like crazy* Ah, there's someone~
Rinao: I'd love to tell you, but she doesn't know yet! I don't want to spoil the surprise!
Mint: No one. I don't really need anyone like that.
Raemus: I don't have any, and I doubt I ever will.

Do you have any kids?
Noel: No.
Arakiel: How can I have kids if I've never... urgh.
Atsubeki: No, not realy.
Rinao: Not yet, but I'd love to have children in the future~ Maybe two, or three or...
Mint: None that I know of.
Raemus: No, I don't.

What's your favorite food?
Noel: French fries and broccoli.
Arakiel: Deer meat is good.
Atsubeki: I don't need to eat. I like chocolate, though.
Rinao: I simply love cherries~ Cherry sweets, cherry cake, cherry anything!
Mint: I like anything mint flavoured. Yeah, go on. Laugh. I dare you to.
Raemus: I like to eat dreams... What do you mean that they're not considered 'food'?

Have you ever killed anyone?
Noel: Yes.
Arakiel: Um. Don't tell the others, but... _{Not really.}
Atsubeki: No!
Rinao: Don't even say that! How could've I kill someone?
Mint: ...yeah. I'm not happy about this, mind you.
Raemus: I do not kill. I just come when the person is already dead. It doesn't mean anything.

Do you like to destroy things?
Noel: Why would I?
Arakiel: Yes! It's fun! Especially when said things belong to so... ]]> ~nerri http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/20486862/ http://nerri.deviantart.com/journal/20486862/ Sun, 14 Sep 2008 10:21:28 PDT
Soooooooo, I'm still sick, fun. My nose is not as much bother as before, but I still suffer from the constant tiredness and occasional dizzyness. So going to school is out of question.
(Nevermind that my stomach started to hurt as well... But it has nothing to do with the cold I have if you know what I mean)
I should rest and get healthy right? I should prepare myself happily, and catch up with everything right?
WROOOOOOONG
I get worried instead! Yay!
I bet you all are bored of my teenager angst whining, but I need to get it out of my system. Rly.
I'm worried that I won't be able to catch up; I have contact with, like, /one/ person from my class. I don't know her very well and I don't want to be a bother, even though it shouldn't be a freaking bother for someone to send me over what was for homework RIGHT?
Alsooooooo I was supposed to bring my money to school because we're ordering the schoolbooks for english. Now I can't and... my grandma's going to do it. Which is downright embarassing.
Also I'm afraid I'll miss some important things and I'll find out about them after I come back to school C:
FUN FUN FUN
ARGH
Why can't I rest in peace?! ...I mean... Why do I stress over it. It's not like I can do anything about it.
Gah. Excuse me while I go to read some slash to distract myself.

[link]

]]> ~nerri