http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:nightmandl&section=today deviantART RSS for by:nightmandl en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 15 Dec 2009 10:54:06 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/27878055/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/27878055/ Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:50:02 PDT and decrepit wastrel shelters,
yet this is a wealthy world still,
heaving its blood-soaked treasures
at their silken feet - they are here now,
the faces of civilization, and oh how
we fallen fallen fools yearn to be among them,
fellow feasters at the bottomless trough.

From this civil strait I would run, and run -
if only I had not fought,
defending that mindless devourer of tomorrow.
If only I had legs---

So watch them pass, beneath their parasols.
The starving multitudes are growing,
sullen, now eyeing me in their avid hunger.
I would run, yes, if only I had legs.

]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/23961632/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/23961632/ Mon, 30 Mar 2009 01:34:02 PDT I recognise that name.
It was at the center of some ticker tape parade.
The lead story,
a fine example.
A name, a name.

A name.
I recognise that name.
It was at the center of some magnifying glass,
the lead story,
a fine example.
A name, a name.

He used to pretend he was fighting some war somewhere.
Now everything depends on fighting some war.
He never thought he'd be an exclamation point,
a demonstration of his disease,
a punctuation mark,
a household name with HIV.

Still, it's just still sound."


If you've ever loved music as a basic instinct, listen to Fugazi.

]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/23722314/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/23722314/ Mon, 16 Mar 2009 00:47:12 PDT I've realized that I'm more scared of people seeing me, than I am of seeing people.
I'm scared of being like them. I'm scared that I'm not like them. I’ve realized that I don't know what I want.
No one should see it, lest they take advantage. I'm scared, too scared to be who I want to be, because I want to be that person.
I'm frightened for my life.
What does it mean?
I've never felt accepted, or wanted in the past. I'm delighted by every person who shows interest.
I've been self-diagnosed and self-medicated for far too long.
What comes next?

]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/22581270/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/22581270/ Wed, 14 Jan 2009 15:59:32 PST
[link]

]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/21101337/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/21101337/ Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:35:59 PDT I'm looking for someone to help me revamp my old comics and collaborate with me on new ones.
I know its been a while since I put up the first 4 strips but I guess they've always been in the back of my mind and I'd like to continue writing them. I currently have 6 or 8 new ones lined up, they just need some finishing touches.
Let me know if you plan on helping and send me some revamped material from the old ones so I can choose who I would most like to work with (maybe more than one).
You can check out the old ones here:

1. Enter Frank
2. Curious George
3. Digging for Trash
4. Cats and Sparkles

]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/20210709/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/20210709/ Thu, 28 Aug 2008 22:43:42 PDT
]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/14893093/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/14893093/ Tue, 02 Oct 2007 23:56:03 PDT its frustrating

]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/14343989/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/14343989/ Sun, 26 Aug 2007 04:51:34 PDT in the meantime, my writing has evolved. i have a few poems in the works, but for now they look like 2 year projects like the last one. there's one in particular that i'm quite frustrated with. I know exactly what I'm trying to say, I just don't know how to expand on my thoughts and put it on paper. I dont know what kind of inspiration i need top finish, cause i think i should have enough, but we'll see how it progresses.
as i've been away for a while, im not gonna go through all the deviations i've missed,. however, please let me know about anything you've posted in the last while that you'd like me to see and i;; be back in a fwe days to check em out!
miss you all!
Dave

]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/11766212/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/11766212/ Sat, 10 Feb 2007 22:07:37 PST some bad news: me and michelle are broken up for good. it wasnt a bad break-up... pretty much mutual. she didnt want what i thought she did from life, we're two very different people, and i think the distance wore us both down.
on the bright side, we may see those crazy characters from my hopefully-soon-to-be-more-than 4 episode comic strip coming back! if you havent seen them, or want to read em again to freshen up, here are the links:
Comic 1
Comic 2
Comic 3
Comic 4

]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/11303255/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/11303255/ Wed, 03 Jan 2007 15:53:36 PST me and michelle are still going strong... it was 2 years in november. we have plans after we're both done school and we're both really excited as that could be as early as this summer. more likely next year, depending on choices we have both yet to make.
i finally finished a poem last month that took almost 2 years to complete (yes sheana its done!!). its 120-something lines long and when i read it i get such a feeling of accomplishment... it's like my life's work haha... and i know its my best yet. unfortunately, i dont have it with me and i dont have the internet hooked up at my house at the moment so it may be some time before anyone besides my family gets to see it.
hope all is well and everyone had a great holiday season!
hopefully ill see you soon

dave

edit: i've been going through all the deviations i've missed over the past... year or so? and man have i ever been wonderfully suprised with how far along everyone has come with their writing, drawing, or whatever. keep up the good work people! you rock!

]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/7074966/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/7074966/ Thu, 17 Nov 2005 19:17:46 PST been keeping up with deviations, so ill leave a comment on anything new i see
all in all, things are fine across the board... hope to have that poem up soon!
later y'all



From First To Last - Ride The Wings Of Pestilence

ill be hiding in the shadows
ill be waiting in the dark
to drive this blade straight through you heart
ill drag your body to the car
as blood races down my arm
I think everyone will wonder where you are, tonight

ill hide you in my walls
your body will never be found
ill wear your skin as a suit, pretend to be you
your friends will like you more than they used to

dear diary my teen angst bullshit has a body count
I believe its 6 going on 7 now

I've been dreaming about you
in a pool of your own blood
with your eyes gouged out
by the work of my thumbs
the scent of your insides
from under the floorboards
the perfect perfume
to settle a score.

ill hide you in my walls
your body will never be found
ill wear your skin as a suit, pretend to be you
your friends will like you more than they used to
pretend to be you, your friend will like you more than they used to
ride the wings of pestilence ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/6686695/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/6686695/ Wed, 05 Oct 2005 12:49:47 PDT working on that poem still... been almost 2 months since i started it and i dont even know if im close to done.
lots of crazyness going on with people, girls especially. damn them all.



Cursive - Northern Winds


Northern winds came whistling through evergreens

Like trains

One temper broods until a temperature breaks

And blooms -- smashing and tearing what we've worked toward

One hand will break what the other hand builds

Board the windows up, keep the cellar locked

We'll feign restraint until it's over and settled

Our wills are just as strong as the walls we built for them

I won't rebuild what I have crumbled

I'm tired

Tired



What is faith -- it's been replaced by insurance policies

Once one thing breaks just have it replaced

Like faith... once whistled through the trees

Now so still

One hand will break what the other hand builds



Board the windows up, keep the cellar locked

You never know when little fevers could flare up

For every day it's calm, there must be something brewing

There's always something storming through these evergreens

Like trains



Northern winds came...

Northern winds came...

Crashing...

And burning down our wills ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/6196629/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/6196629/ Thu, 11 Aug 2005 09:57:17 PDT
1. ive slowly been going through deviations im backed up on... if i havent got to you, i will

2. poem in progress... dunno when its gonna be finished, havent touched it in 2 days

3. i might start drawing those frank and george comics again... people seemed to like them and i reallllly enjoyed doing them because they're my kind of sick and twisted humour


i feel wierd today... full of energy, ready for the world, but also full of fear... not cool with me




Death Cab For Cutie - A Lack of Colour

And when I see you
I really see you upside down
But my brain knows better
It picks you up and turns you around
Turns you around
Turns you around

If you feel discouraged
When there's a lack of color here
Please don't worry lover
It's really bursting at the seams
From absorbing everything
The spectrum's A to Z

This is fact not fiction
For the first time in years
All the girls in every girlie magazine
Can't make me feel any less alone

I'm reaching for the phone
To call at 7:03
And on your machine
I slur a plea for you to come home
But I know it's too late
I should have given you a reason to stay
Given you a reason to stay
Given you a reason to stay
Given you a reason to stay

This is fact not fiction
For the first time in years ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/6152052/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/6152052/ Sat, 06 Aug 2005 17:45:34 PDT

Emery - While Broken Hearts Prevail

Put on your shoes, let's go outside.
It's easy for the brilliant light.
Avoiding phonecalls and long goodbyes.
The city skylines always bring big smiles to me,
As we sit in our cars, divided by white lines
And signs in between.

Electronic letters screaming it all gets better
And I'm just waiting for you to sing.
It's nice to be alive and feel nothing at all.
Full credit for the right.
Don't shout I hear you.
It's gonna be hard.
I've already said that to myself it's not worth repeating.
You better speak up before the drive.

Everyone's hiding something, it's nothing like you said.
When you're holding nothing, no one trusts a prayer.

Hang from your words and guard your heart,
This is just a new found transition.
But without reason, I found you
With so much outside my window.
You're not here, by my side,
So that you could see how little it matters.
I'm yours now, you brought me things that I've waited to dream.
But it's over when you say so. ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/6093725/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/6093725/ Sun, 31 Jul 2005 20:42:08 PDT
havent started catching up on deviations yet, but i have more free time coming up so ill get on it

thanks to those who lef ta comment on my last piece... its greatly appreciated

and anyone who enjoys a good accoustic tune will love this one...


Keepsake - Lonliness

He's in the back of your mind
All of the time
Learn to forget, lovely forget
When I sit alone
I think of what you said
Better off just friends, better off just dead

And the hardest thing I do
Is wake up without you
Everything falls apart
The emptiness of mind
And the hardest thing I do
Is wake up without you
When everything falls apart
The emptiness leaves a mark

He's in the back of your mind
All of the time
Learn to forget, lovely forget
When I sit alone
I think of what you said
Better off just friends, better off just dead
And the hardest thing I do
Is wake up without you
When everything falls apart
The emptiness leaves a mark

And the hardest thing I do
Is wake up without you
When everything falls apart
The emptiness leaves a mark ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/6051848/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/6051848/ Wed, 27 Jul 2005 19:56:52 PDT

i've only written one poem in my absence, but i personally feel it's my best ever! check it out

as for everyone else's work... ill tackle it a day at a time, and eventually make my way through most of it





The Dears - 22:The Death Of All The Romance

I have never cried in anybody's arms
The way that I have often cried in yours
Please be the one to take my tears away
I was 22, I've had my share of views
I just can't steal that 'happiness' from you
But I'll be the one to take your tears away

I can't believe the things you say
tell me, tell me
tell me the lies

Fasting love will lead us all to nowhere
When, when will we learn
I shall avenge the death of all the romance
Until, until I'm gone

I can't believe the things you say
tell me, tell me
tell me the lies
I can't believe the things you say
tell me, tell me
tell me the lies
I can't believe the things you say
tell me, tell me
tell me the lies
tell me the lies
tell me the lies
tell me, tell me the lies ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/6033092/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/6033092/ Mon, 25 Jul 2005 18:40:38 PDT cya then! ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/5824914/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/5824914/ Sat, 02 Jul 2005 22:17:15 PDT i've started a few poems of late, but havent been able to finish any of them... im gonna work on that too ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/5411125/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/5411125/ Fri, 20 May 2005 11:00:15 PDT they also dont get that this makes me and my brothers even less likely to go out and look for work because we hate them for thinking they have to force us to do something. ill beback asap... keep up the good work ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/5407986/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/5407986/ Fri, 20 May 2005 00:55:17 PDT
I should have another poem up by the end of the night... this is the first from my last surge of poetry that I didnt need to sing (or scream) to myself as it came out... it was quite smooth and felt really good as I wrote it... just gotta fix 'er up a bit and I'll have it loaded up

thanks to everyone still keeping in touch with me... i deleted all the deviations i needed to see when I started back up with my poetry, and I have about 30 to look over now... I know I must have missed some great work, so if you have something you'd like me to see just leave it here! i've missed all your work so much and i'm loving what i've gotten to so far... keep it up folks!



Pinback - Penelope

Oh, Penelope
Are you filled with air?
Swallowed oxygen that make you float up?

Is it dropsy?
Where your lungs swell?
It's depressing me to see you struggle.

I'm treading water with my oars
Glass galleons anchored, ocean's floor
I'm diving down with all my gear
In search of treasure, para me corazon...

Take you to the forest.
Let you feel the raindrops falling down
Seeping through your red scales
Eliminate the faucet
Eliminate the need for water
Replace it with a safe shell

Don't want to see you floating upside down
On the top of the bowl when I come around to visit you

Don't want to see you floating upside down
No, girl
Need you there
Need you there
Need you there
Release that air

I'm treading water with my oars ( Release that air )
Glass galleons anchored, ocean's floor
I'm diving down with all my gear ( Release that air )
In search of treasure, para me corazon...

Take you to the forest.
Let you feel the raindrops falling down
Seeping through your red scales
Eliminate the faucet
Eliminate the need for water
Replace it with a safe shell

If they summon the rains now
Are you gonna rise?

If they summon the rains now
Are you gonna rise? ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/5394379/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/5394379/ Wed, 18 May 2005 17:24:48 PDT
been thinking alot about what im gonna do if my girfriend doesnt come back to the university we were both at last year... ill be happy for her, cause she didnt really like it there, but its gonna suck so bad...


Anthrax - Safe Home

I’ve been down this road once or twice before
Through the open door
I come falling through it
There’s a sign post up ahead
Like a watershed
And it opens my eyes
Ways, for me to begin
To be born again
And knowing for the first time
Ways, all so differently
Shine for me to see
The better man that I am

I’ve been places in my head
Behind me worse than what’s ahead
And on my path just like a dream
Takes me from the inbetween
From out of nowhere you came strong as stone
And now I’ll never have to be alone
What it is I know

You have always been my safe home
I walk, I run, I burn out into you
You have always been my safe home
My whole world has moved on

I know what I am and I’ll always be
Your reality, is better than I could dream
All my fears turn from black to white
And I’d stand and fight
The whole world for you
Faith, and destiny
I never did believe
My only God is love and
Faith, what I see in you
And I can hold it true
Like a weight in my hand ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/5380888/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/5380888/ Tue, 17 May 2005 08:20:11 PDT this gives me a chance to fix a problem or two i worked on at least.



From Autumn To Ashes - Eulogy For An Angel

In a world of despair, our lives will end
Some without warning, while others die by design
Under watchful eyes, we tread on evil ground,
with jaded eyes around us each step is scrutinized
(in the pouring rain, we speed this car, i try so hard,
wish i was more prepared for this time, you shouldn't have passed before me)
In this life we lead, a choice will be made
Where we go from here, when our time is done
At the gates of heavan, angels stare at us
May they lead you home to where you'll live in peace?
You take without warning
(i'll shut myself up and black out the windows)
As we sit and wait
(its best to consider me dead as well)
Breath in take a life
(i'm hoping in time i'll get over)
Breath out, cleanse your soul
(i might be fine when i get older..no way)
You took her life
I gave you mine, to ease the pain of my soul, to show you how much shes meant to me
I will fight for our lives and take them to our graves
In a world of despair, our lives will end
Some with out warning, while others die by design
Under watchful eyes we tread on evil ground,
with jaded eyes around us, each step is scrutinized
I will defy you
The evil from above
Open my mind
Let you in
I will not forgive the sins you made
You took her life from me. ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/5295371/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/5295371/ Sat, 07 May 2005 17:05:33 PDT
Cursive - Sink To The Beat

I'll try to make this perfectly clear
I'm so transparent I disapear
these words I lyrically defecate
upon songs I boldly claim to create
clint steps in to establish the beat
4/4 hip hop and you don't stop
this unique approach to start an EP
intended to shock, create a mystique
a cheap strategy, a marketing scheme
building awareness for the next LP
they've got a good fan base
they've got integrity
they've got a DC sound
Shudder to Think, Fugazi
and Chapel Hill Around The Early 90's
this is the latest from saddle creek

some melodies are like disease
they can inflame your misery
they will infect your memories
they haunt me
some memories are like disease
they can inflame your misery
they will infect your melody
they haunt me

I write these words with my motherly intuition
I shape these sounds into harmonic aparitions
but I can see can see through these haunting things
my moldy dreams are debased by the same hands that shaped them

I'll try to make this perfectly clear
I'm so reflexive i am a mirror
these words I'm driving into the ground
the same words I scream out over the crowd

I'm just an airwave rolling around
I storm and crash without a sound
There's all these islands out at sea
I can't reach

I'm just an airplane diving down
I storm and crash without a sound
engines exploding silently out at sea
where waves caress unstable egos
where melody is completely swallowed
where songwriters chain their songs
to their ankles and
sink to the beat
'til it stops and
bursts under pressure
let it
burst and bloom
hit song
let it burst and bloom

]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3691040/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3691040/ Wed, 27 Oct 2004 23:37:26 PDT
Cut it out, your self-inflicted pain is getting too routine
the crowds are catching on to the self-afflicted song
well here we go again, the art of acting weak
fall in love to fail, to boost your CD sales
and that CD sells yeah what a hit, you got to repeat it
you gotta sink to swim

First you dont, you dont succeed
you gotta recreate your misery
cause we all know art is hard
young artists have gotta starve
try and fail and try again
the comforts of repetition
keep churnin out those hits
till its all the same old shit

Oh, a second verse
well color me fatigued
im hiding in the leaves
in the CD jacket sleeves
tired of entertaining
some double-deaf meaning
a soft served analogy
those drunken angry slur
in 31 flavours
you gotta sink gotta sink gotta sink to swim
immerse yourself in rejection
regurgitate some sorry tale
about a boy who sells his love affairs

Gotta fake (fake) fake (fake) the pain
gotta make (make) make (make) a scene
gotta break (break) break (break) a leg
when you get on stage and they scream your name
oh cursive is so cool!

You gotta sink gotta sink gotta sink to swim
impersonate greater persons
cause we all know art is hard
when we dont know who we are

hey hey
hey hey ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3658664/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3658664/ Sat, 23 Oct 2004 20:22:03 PDT
ill be around once in a while to keep you all updated but i cant promise any more than that.

i've missed all your work terribly... everyone keep it up and maybe send me a note once in a while.

out. ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3494493/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3494493/ Sat, 02 Oct 2004 10:40:50 PDT then we waited an hour for an hour long bus ride.
drank, smoked, drank, smoked, etc... (with some music)
eat
everyone went to bed (without music)
did homework! (with music)
tried to smoke myself asleep (with music)
homework!? (more music)
music (with extra music)
homework? (music)
tv (music)
eat
people start waking up (still music)
hour long session
and here i am (with music) ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3450186/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3450186/ Sun, 26 Sep 2004 10:51:45 PDT wish me luck ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3189378/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3189378/ Sun, 22 Aug 2004 17:35:28 PDT
shut me up, slap me down and knock some semblance of normality into my head. please. ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3131949/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3131949/ Sun, 15 Aug 2004 13:14:37 PDT
150 deviations to go through, gettin on that momentarily.

hope everyone had a good weekend! ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3053868/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/3053868/ Thu, 05 Aug 2004 23:03:53 PDT

david usher - st lawrence river

Smells on the air
See there it's crushing the final impression
The stains on the paper
Where words fell like water
Unearth all the changes that never did matter
I think it's beginning to freeze here

Caught in the rage and the fire of things
All the brightness that burns me
I'm fumbling through like a child in the dark
When the nakedness comes
I am shocked by the colour the glorious weight of your skin
Comes alive
And I never thought we'd make it back so soon
Might be nice
But I knew you'd be your own destroyer
Comes a time
And I always thought I'd make it up to you

Here please forgive me
Could we escape all the bitterness piled upon bitterness
Held in the face of the things that I don't understand
Intellectualize over and over
This helplessness suits us
Funny how quiet has slipped to our corners
Worn all our edges away
You are watching breathing and baiting
Wanting and warming and cautiously waiting
For some simple signal to creep cross your conscience
Uncover redemption and oh did I mention
I carried you down to the St. Lawrence River
The banks running dirty the water's beginning to freeze here
Solid by morning
And I'll freeze here
Winter by morning

Comes a lie
And I never thought you'd get me back so soon
Might be nice
But it's only if my own destroyer
Comes alive
And I always knew I'd make it up to you

I saw on your face such a curious grin
As I let go your hand
I was desperate to hold you again
But you're sinking so deep in the water
Outsmarted myself and so easily gave up what I wanted
Solid by morning
What I wanted
Winter by morning

Comes alive
And I never thought you'd make it up so soon
Might be nice
But I always knew you're my destroyer
Comes a time
And I always thought I'd make it up to you

Solid by morning
And I'll freeze here
Winter by morning ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/2905420/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/2905420/ Sat, 17 Jul 2004 16:46:35 PDT s for all! ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/2741887/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/2741887/ Sat, 26 Jun 2004 14:54:48 PDT
i just updated my friends list and removed everyone i never really payed attention, which is gonna make it alot easier for me to follow the rest of you lovely people from now on.

i started meds a little while back and they're mostly working for everything except the insomnia.

still havent been writing much - lines here and there but i havent finished a poem in way too long. im hoping the change in scenery when i move away for university will spark something new in me.

thanks alot for all your patience with me, i havent been much of a supporter lately but thats all about to change ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/2360673/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/2360673/ Tue, 04 May 2004 18:20:11 PDT i cried this morning... got up for work, but couldnt make myself go... and i dont know why... why id want to lose the best job ive ever had, why i cant be enthusiastic enough to do anything besides smoke pot at night with my friends, why im so fucking socially retarded, why i place myself last behind anyone else, and why i come back here to tell you this when i have to apologize again for not actively reading the work you guys are putting out.
the thing i used to love about all of your work was how it could invoke feelings in me, especially when i could feel nothing on my own. now, the added emotion is too much to handle when mine just leaves me more confused and lonely.
still not writing much... a few lines will come to me during the day, but never when i have the means or am comfortable enough to write them down.
going to the docs in a week to talk to him about my depression and maybe start taking some meds... though i really hope i dont have to.


giving up
all that i need,
giving in
to crime and greed,
i balance still
on thinnest wire,
the line and stakes
are raised much higher,
til i cant see
what waits below
and hope the fall
will take me slow
to the dirt
and strewn debris
of what was once
a part of me. ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/2172418/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/2172418/ Wed, 07 Apr 2004 14:49:00 PDT
sorry i havent been around, got in a fight with my mom and she decided to take the internet away. i just got it set back up in my room, and im paying for it now.
i really havent done much writing... not due to a lack of inspiration, i just havent written anything that came to mind down... because... i dont know

250 deviations to go through, so i apologize if i dont get to ALL of everyone's work... ill definitely try to get through most of it though. ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1988302/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1988302/ Wed, 10 Mar 2004 16:36:38 PST


100 poems i still have to view, 100 poems to view... click the link, read and critique... 99 poems i still have to view... ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1961288/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1961288/ Sat, 06 Mar 2004 08:39:13 PST ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1946216/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1946216/ Wed, 03 Mar 2004 15:48:57 PST ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1886080/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1886080/ Sat, 21 Feb 2004 22:30:21 PST still no poetry either. i get lines in my head like i used to, but i just toss them to the side... i dont know why its different now... seems like nothing comes out as it should and i've already said whatever come to mind. i've found im tired of writing and submitting the same old dark depressing words... i need a change before i can continue, a new way of thinking, some original ideas.

i will once again try to read through everything i have saved up (almost 75 poems and lits now) and respond to all of them. im such a slacker... you guys dont deserve me, and i dont expect you to reply to anything i put up in the future...

news? found a job... training starts around the 25th - 2 weeks full time, which means even less time on here. playing alot of guitar which keeps me busy and going out with friends every other night.

thats it. ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1869140/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1869140/ Wed, 18 Feb 2004 20:52:08 PST ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1829072/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1829072/ Wed, 11 Feb 2004 15:49:06 PST ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1815427/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1815427/ Sun, 08 Feb 2004 21:40:32 PST ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1786221/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1786221/ Tue, 03 Feb 2004 03:47:15 PST ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1745658/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1745658/ Tue, 27 Jan 2004 12:11:40 PST

A - Age: 18... 19 in March
B - Band listening to right now: Chevelle
C - Career of the future: Programmer
D - Dad's Name: Norm! or Marky Mark, depends on who you talk to
E - Easiest person to talk to: all of you!
F - Favorite song at the moment: Do You Realize by The Flaming Lips
G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: worms
H - Hometown: Born in Brampton, moved to burlington, london, sault ste marie, thunder bay for 5 years and now back in the sault for 7 or 8 so far.
I - Instrument: GUITAR!
J - Job Title: Couch Potato
K - Kids: Do i get a happy meal with that?
L - Last person you talked to on phone: my friend Luke
M - Mom's Name: Theresa
N - Number of Siblings: 2 younger bros
O - Oldest Sibling: 17
P - Phobia[s] / Fear[s]: ummm nothing really... maybe a little scared of spiders
Q - Favorite Quote: ...you'll realize that the sun doesn't go down, it's an illusion cause by the world spinning round... ~The Flaming Lips
R - Reason to Smile: and reason you can think of
S - Song you sang last: Round Here by Counting Crows
T - Time you wake up: school days (no more of those!) - 7:30, weekends/rest of my days - 12ish
U - Unknown fact about me: I still had 2 baby teeth til they were pulled a few months ago
V - Vegetable you Hate: Colliflower (sp?)
W - Worst Habit: smoking
X - X-rays you've had: both wrists, head
Y - Yummy Food: chocolate!
Z - Zodiac Sign: pices


A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z .......
Now you know my ABC's, now won't you fill them out about you for me? ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1736966/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1736966/ Sun, 25 Jan 2004 00:41:03 PST ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1717034/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1717034/ Wed, 21 Jan 2004 08:49:18 PST i was bored after writing a test in data management today, so i drew a character and a poem to go along with him! i'm gonna try to turn it into a comic series, but i gotta think up a few more characters. don't expect great work from it, as I have zero talent as an artist, but it should be funny ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1693257/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1693257/ Sat, 17 Jan 2004 00:55:25 PST Every emotion I have comes out as a line of poetry. I think that's why I like pot heh...
I just can't remember most of it by the time I get home
And I don't know how my friends will react... will they understand? ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1687574/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1687574/ Thu, 15 Jan 2004 22:17:40 PST

i think things are actually starting to get better. nothing else has really changed, but i can feel myself evolving. very slowly.
but at least i'm stepping in the right direction ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1666201/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1666201/ Sun, 11 Jan 2004 22:54:47 PST ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1645625/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1645625/ Wed, 07 Jan 2004 21:37:34 PST i hate this.
i'm gonna explode, i swear

[Edit] - actually, i dont really know what wants to come out... but it's there, clawing at my insides... it NEEDS to come out, but i dont even know what im feeling any more ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1638686/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1638686/ Tue, 06 Jan 2004 14:18:35 PST it seems there's still alot to come out in my poetry, and the little happiness i found yesterday has already faded.
swept up in a wave of despair, i watch my reflection on this screen. i dont want to move, or talk, or smile. i just want to sleep and never wake up...
fuck. ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1633495/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1633495/ Mon, 05 Jan 2004 13:39:52 PST ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1620122/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1620122/ Fri, 02 Jan 2004 16:39:58 PST ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1592524/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1592524/ Sat, 27 Dec 2003 22:59:11 PST
also, i found a new band that i really really like! Travis! i've come across them before, but never really caught on til now. they have a sound all their own and its awesome! ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1539545/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1539545/ Mon, 15 Dec 2003 17:12:31 PST Also, I may go on a little hiatus... maybe a week, a month, I dunno. I need to sort out a few things before I do any more writing I think. I'll still pop in every couple of days to comment on work and whatnot, but I won't be posting any new poetry.
Later. ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1532619/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1532619/ Sun, 14 Dec 2003 08:29:23 PST
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold are false

01. When I was younger I made some bad decisions.
02. I don't watch much TV these days.
03. I love Mushrooms
04. I love sleeping.
05. I have loads of books.
06. I once drank from the toilet
07. I love playing video games
08. I'm attracted to men who think drugs are cool.
09. I read "killing me softly" when I wasn't supposed to (it is very graphic)
10. My mother gave it to me for Christmas
11. I like sharks
12. I love spiders, I think they're adorable, especially the ones with bright colours on their backs
13. I was born with white hair and I still have white hair
14. I like anime
15. People are cool.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I like baths
18. I have a lot to learn.
19. I have a sword
20. I'm really really smart.
21. I've never broken any bones in my body.
22. I have a secret.
23. I hardly ever go to bed before midnight
24. I've lied.
25. I love Orlando Bloom, and I dream about shagging legolas in the woods.
26. My laptop is called lappy
27. I hate going to class
28. I would hate to be famous
29. I am not a morning person
30. I wear glasses
31. I don't need glasses.
32. I have potential.
33. Teachers like me usually.
34. My eyes are two different colors (actually they're always the same color, but they switch between brown green and blue depening on how far you are away from me)
35. I have a twin
36. I wear a padded bra
37. I can ramble on about absolutely nothing.
38. I'm left-handed
39. I hate llamas
40. I don't like teen movies
41. I suck at drawing, but I love it anyway
42. I'm pure German
43. I love classical music
44. I hate snow
45. I like broccoli
46. I know all the words to "American Pie"
47. I can tap dance
48. I spend too much time on the computer
49. I hump the computer
50. My dogs are evil
51. I don't like chocolate
52. I'd like to be more original
53. I love being "ab-normal"
54. Llamas are my favorite animals
55. I believe that people who are homophobic are pathetic people and deserve nothing more than a good spanking.
56. I wonder what happens when you die
57. I'm very random
58. BANANAS!
59. I love to exercise.
60. I hate maths with a passion
61. I love to write
63. I love Chinese food
64. I make dreamcatchers
65. I'm pretty good at oragami
66. My hair is long, brown, and incredibly curly
67. I hate nail polish
68. My favorite color is green
69. I sleep with four pillows
70. I am verbaly constapated
71. I sucked my thumb when I was little.
72. I should be doing somehting else rather than writing this
73. I am online a lot.
74. I like debating
75. I am a virgin
76. I'm too nice for my own good.
77. I love to read, I read as much as I can.
78. I hate cabanna boys... I believe they're an embarressment towards our gender.
79. I hate my mother
80. I live in a really large family
81. I love all my family members but I'm too cold to express it.
82. I'm scared of america
83. I believe I have a 6th sense
84. I love new-zealand
85. I think Canadians should rule the world.
86. I used to play with GI JOES because all the other boys were doing it
87. I wanted to be a super hero when I was little.
88. I like listening to wind chimes
89. I don't believe in God
90. My hair is long and straight
91. I'm very disorganized
92. I don't like spicy food
93. I keep a diary
94. I can't do cartwheels
95. I am very lazy.
96. I'm sarcastic
97. I think my hair is annoying
98. My left eye is violet and my right eye is a light blue.
99. I'm very flexable
100. I hate racists and sexists with a passion and think they should all rott in hell ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1529071/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1529071/ Sat, 13 Dec 2003 11:45:54 PST
"So sick, so sick of being tired, and oh so tired of being sick..."

I've never been sicker before in my life. I slept for over 24 hours the day before yesterday... not consecutive, but with 3 one hour waking periods somewhere in there.

By the way, someone's gotta tell me what song that line is from cause it's completely escaped me like the rest of the music I used to love.

So sick, so sick of being tired, and oh so tired of being sick.
We're both such magnificant liars, so crush me baby, I'm all ears.
So obviously desperate, so desperately obvious,
so good at setting bad examples... ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1504693/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1504693/ Sun, 07 Dec 2003 22:30:09 PST
She's a talented writer, but she doesnt believe me, so go tell her so!

Currently : and a little :tired:
Listening to : The Lost Souls - AFI
Song of the Day : Round Here - Counting Crows
Learning on Guitar : Closure - Chevelle, Spit Me Out - Collective Soul, Perfect Dream - Trapt
Thinking : I need more inspiration... something different.
Wishing : I didn't have school tomorrow.
Line : "Please don't wake me..." ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1494714/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1494714/ Fri, 05 Dec 2003 16:14:42 PST
On the other side, things are picking up pace way too fast in this place and I can't keep up. I just want to be lazy.

wow, i just realized how many views my poem Wake In Your Arms is getting. around 250! yowzah! ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1473279/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1473279/ Sun, 30 Nov 2003 21:08:13 PST ]]> ~nightmandl http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1462012/ http://nightmandl.deviantart.com/journal/1462012/ Fri, 28 Nov 2003 09:01:40 PST ~nightmandl