http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:nightmarehymn&section=today deviantART RSS for by:nightmarehymn en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 30 Nov 2009 12:27:14 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/27620460/ http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/27620460/ Tue, 06 Oct 2009 17:42:24 PDT
I'm not really cool with the people on my floor, for the most part I'm viewing them as boys that never really graduated from high school. They're kinda immature and trying to be something they aren't...but for the most part, isn't that nearly everyone in school? Hell, life? My roomate on the other hand is one socially awkward son of a bitch. I yearn for the day where I am not obliged to live with another. He's super Christian, very awkward, studies all the time (I mean, I'm a nerd but not that nerdy) and he's annoying. I blame part of this on my only-child upbringing and I'm sure he finds flaws in me, but hey...you win some, you lose some.

I'm still writing. I'm a writer. I just haven't had the urge to write anything as of yet. Remember, I'm a strong believer in the fact that I won't say anything unless I have to and I haven't really had the urge to speak. Rather, the inspiration. Well all these bad things have been happening to me, I don't think they are that potent enough for me to write about, as melodramatic as that sounds! But when I do write, rest assured, you'll get a good scoop and it'll come pouring out. The well just needs to run dry sometimes, and then it'll replenish itself.

I wanted to go to the harp factory today and I had to practice Bach, which I didn't really practice and I'm not that great at lol. Yeah, so I was just updating you guys. I miss all those that you know, really read my stuff. And thanks for keeping track of me thus far. The writings will come when they come. I really wanna start combining more of my literature and music together, it'll happen. So yeah, just an update. FYI, thank God I didn't do this journal on Facebook

]]> ~nightmarehymn http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/26378107/ http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/26378107/ Tue, 04 Aug 2009 10:40:49 PDT
College is starting, and honestly, I feel lost in a world where I really don't belong. I know it's that old freshman fear thing that every freshman goes through, but I really do feel like that. So far, the people that I've met at my school, they seem so superficial. I'm really not used to talking about what stores I shop at and how much I spent on this or that and it bothers me. I hang around people who are just really down to earth. I've met jocks and drama-queens and it's kinda jading me really. It's very upsetting. I graduated high school to escape labels and drama...but I guess wherever you go, or wherever I go, trouble peeks. I've got the mass of my books and junk, except one, which for some reason I am panicking about, but when am I not panicking? I really wanna start reading some of them to get a head start...but then it dawned on me....why am I always trying to get a head start? Why is that I want to "prove" to people that I know what I'm talking about and that I'm intelligent. I used to do that all the time in high school and I really don't want that to consume me in college. I mean...I want to have fun, to an extent, but at the same time, I wanna keep my brain. Everything I do, in my opinion, is just not sating for myself. Why am I continuously trying to get ahead of the game, that when the game is over, I'll just be back right where I started...at another game?

I've selected my final classes and whatnot and decided that double majoring is just going to be too much for me. I've decided to major in English and minor in Music. For some reason, and I know I shouldn't think this, this caused me to think that I didn't want a career in music and I didn't want to take it seriously. I take private piano lessons soon and I'm trying as hard as I can to meet up to at least 15% of my potential as an artist, but whatever I do, be it writing or making a melody...it all seems like I'm wasting my time. I know I shouldn't think like this, but there are some days when I feel I'll never get a career in music, that the melodies and lyrics I write are just not enough and mediocre and that even if I did have a career in music...who the hell would listen to what I have to say? With the way the state of the music industry is now, why would I want to go into that whole thing? There's nothing but manufactured dolls and Disney queens ruling the ears of everyone, truly sound pollution, and that a person like me, a person who wears their heart on their sleeve...just wouldn't be appreciated for what they had to say. Look at my poems and tell me that some of the lines don't freak you out and lead you to think that I'm a drama king and that I take things way too deeply. And then there's the problem with my musical abilities anyway: I read sheet music so slow that it's ridiculous, I can't sing and play the piano at the same time and when I do...it sounds horrible, and I only know so much about theory that I get embarassed when people ask me how long I've been playing. I also take a lot of time producing and writing, hell let alone thinking, of material. I would be a major risk to a producer if I get a career in this. I don't want a normal job, I want this so bad, but I'm just afraid.

With that section complete, things at home aren't so great either. The one good thing about going to college is moving out and man, am I ready to leave. My mom and I, no matter how hard she plays it off, are distant. It's dead. I know my mother loves me, I will always know this if I know nothing else, but she's got her own thing going on and I've got mine. She sounds so uninterested when I talk about my plans for college and the things I need for my dorm. She rapidly changes to a new subject when I do. And no one in my family is, let's say, "supportive" of the fact that I'm going to college. Hell, my birthday was a month ago and none of them even called lol. No one really cares that I'm going off to school....who would blame them though? They have their own thing going on, and that's them. I've felt distant from them all for a long time....but hey...this only cements it right? And if you really want to call me an ice king, talk to me about my friends, talk to me about how I haven't talked to them in weeks, about to go on a month. Talk to me about how every conversation I have with them seems like....I feel like, "man, why am I talking to them? It's the same stuff over and over again. Monotony." I know it's kinda rude of me to feel like that, but it's ice on that one. I want something new, it's just I d... ]]> ~nightmarehymn http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/25906579/ http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/25906579/ Sun, 12 Jul 2009 19:42:59 PDT
]]> ~nightmarehymn http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/25268487/ http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/25268487/ Fri, 12 Jun 2009 07:46:48 PDT
Doing this whole college thing is like flying a plane, there's a right time to land and settle your business and take off. I've learned that more than anything. I scheduled my classes and chose my major(s) already: though it can be subject to change at ANYTIME, I have my eyes set on double majoring in English (that will probably change to Classics, which focuses on like Humanities and Greek Mythology and stuff) and Music with an emphasis on Piano. My classes are as followed :

Mon, Wed, Fri: Univ 101 (which is a stupid class about how we can take advantage of Loyola, every freshie has to take it, so I minus well deal)

College Writing Seminar (Every freshie has to take this too, it's supposed to improve writing skills, and what not. I wanted to take Intro to Poetry...but this class was in my way, I don't wanna sound stubborn and arrogant, though I already do, I shouldn't have to take this class...I know how to write, I'm a writer )

Theology: Morals (About Morality, I got that out that way, so let's see how it goes)

Psych 101 (Fulfills a science requirement, and I wanna learn more!)

Tues and Thurs:

Music Theory 144 (Awesome. I remember most theory stuff, but I'll study a bit more over the summer.)

Music Theory 145

Medieval Studies (An English thing, hope it goes well)

While there at Orientation, I met some very nice people in the Music Department who said they would be happy to get me a job there: I'll probably be a piano tuner, which is fine with me...I should learn and it's money. I also got to play a 200 year old harpsichord, though I shouldn't be telling anyone this. I don't care, it was awesome. I felt powerful

So yeah, waiting to officially land, see you guys when I get back down to earth. Another tour to start, I suppose.

]]> ~nightmarehymn http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/25130290/ http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/25130290/ Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:54:07 PDT
There have been really rough times, painful times, brilliant times, scary times and worthwhile times but all in all, I guess it was all worth it, it was all for the best. I can remember myself in the same position last year. I was mourning over lost things and being down on myself and all around just being totally negative, but soon I learned it was not worth it. Life may not work the way you want it, but there are people and things that make it worthwhile getting up in the morning. Now, this year, things have changed rapidly for the better. I can count many things: I saw "Wicked" the musical, I learned to be more independent, I made great friends, I got a chance to go to the Oprah Winfrey show for free nonetheless and put in some input on teen dating violence, I became a true pianist, I explored my artistic endeavors...though some were not well guided, true art never is, I went to prom, I mended some toxic relationships with people in my family and in my personal life, I'm going to college and now, finally, I am fourth in my graduating class, Master of Ceremonies for graduation, and I'm going out with a bang! Things finally fell into place...things fell into place, didn't they?

This is another chapter ending in my life, our lives. I will NEVER forget this moment! I love and will miss my wonderful friends and teachers. These people inspire me to be a better person, artist, friend, student and man. From the start...if you guys wanna hear, some real life individuals and dA friends. If they're reading:

*Talon22 has definitley helped me break out of my shell. He's been my friend on hear the longest, and to think, we met in a chatroom. He's awesome, I make an effort to try to talk to him everyday, hopefully he knows this! I really am trying to meet up with him, us being college people, I'm gonna wanna meet him eventually. Garrett, you are an awesome friend and you really do inspire me. You help me with all of my "adult problems", stuff I don't think I could tell anyone else. You're funny and brilliant and I know that being a part of my life is as important just as helping me out, and you really have helped me through those dark times and I can only hope to help you whenever you need it. Love you and you rock!

~solaria92 is an awesome friend. She got me addicted to Sailor Moon again and hopefully she'll get me into Tenchi ( I hope I didn't butcher his name). She's so awesome, she knows this already. You're also there for those breakdown moments, but I know that to you it's no big deal because the bond between you and I is just like cement.

=riopio Jai didn't think I could give a shoutout without her, did she? Jai, I've known you since sophomore year and you are FUNNY AS HELL, but aside from that fact, you are an awesome friend and one hell of an artist. I really do mean it when I say you need to follow your heart...your hand, rather...and just fully commit to becoming an artist. You have to be the most tolerable person I know because you put up with someone who just seeps under my skin sometimes, and I'm sure yours, but I'll talk about him later lol You're an awesome friend and I hope we can collab and keep in contact. You know we will

Joey, Thalles, Shannon...you guys rock. Hard. I think we may have all seen it all. From making music demos, screaming at each other, appearing on Oprah to going to field trips to see epic (sometimes boring) plays, going to prom and now graduating together. Joey, I believe in you and know you can do better. Summer school is only six weeks, we talked about this ALREADY so I know you'll do fine. You guys have definitely helped me become a better person and I KNOW I will cry all over this tomorrow. You deserve all the thanks you can get from me. We've been on bumpy roads but I know we'll meet again and chill and... ]]> ~nightmarehymn http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/25034241/ http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/25034241/ Sat, 30 May 2009 13:57:00 PDT riopio otherwise known as the funny Jai to me! She can dance too, but that shouldn't be a surprise. Everything was great. My date was beautiful, I mean it. I have prom pre-event pics, I'm counting on Jai to upload some of the pics she took, I think she took pics....but yeah. I thought everything was great, I lost control, I put down my guard, I danced, I drank, I ate, I made merry. YES! Things rocked. I've been invited to the movies, so I need to get ready, cause I've been sleeping all day.

]]> ~nightmarehymn http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/24968226/ http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/24968226/ Tue, 26 May 2009 19:26:55 PDT
No, I did not use a poor and pathetic device from translating from Google. These are my actual Portuguese skills, the Brazilian edition anyway...the European version is kinda hard to pronounce but they are virtually the same: Here's basically what I said in English:

I can't believe that this chapter in my life is ending. I am so excited! Prom is coming up and then after that graduation, and I just wanted to surprise you all with some of my skills in Portuguese. I love you guys! You have all been great friends along the way and I don't know what I am going to do without you. I love you all. Thanks for being there for me, standing beside me, behind me and sometimes helping me stand. Let's rock!

You all know who you are. Some of you on dA. Most of my real friends in real life, yeah them, they can be cool! They really have changed my life no lie. I am so amped for prom and graduation, it's been rumored I may make the opening address, so even though I couldn't perform my concerto for graduation, I can at least go out with a bam doing a final speech sort of thing, fingers crossed. I love the Portuguese language, it's so sexy, intimate, sensual, hot! OH MEUS DEUS!!! So yeah, I know, I just know I won't get all teary eyed until all of these events culminate into the big EPIC moment but I'm so happy. Another door really is opening in my life and another is closing. Tour is almost over and then I get to do my whole solo career...doesn't mean I won't see the rest of the "band" and collab with them, I will. Just gotta do my own thang. We all do

Man, four years went by so quick, "how the hell did I get this far?" I find myself thinking in these end of days. I can't imagine how fast college is gonna go by and the new friends and challenges I will meet and face. But I'm ready to rock. I always am. I wanna make cupcakes or something for the big days, I don't know, post more pictures. So much. God, I can't wait to lock the last door and open the next. But not yet! We're not through yet! I still have some tricks up my sleeve. Stay tuned for the final days leading to the grand finale, you won't want to miss a thing. I love you guys. I gotta crash, had a long day....tried to get my tux for prom and it didn't even fit so I may have to get it Wed or Thurs. Then I wanted to this job thing...that didn't fly. Tyler needs a car. Eh, maybe in another life?

Anyway, see ya!



Tyler.

]]> ~nightmarehymn http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/24431369/ http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/24431369/ Sat, 25 Apr 2009 16:38:56 PDT
I've been eating fast food or take out for the past two months. If I have one more burger, pasta blah blah blah I swear to god in heaven I am going to develop an eating disorder!

Eh, the better I suppose, I'm gonna have to get used to the food like this. College offers no true home cooked meals. Tour is tough, but I manage.

My breath smells like onion rings

]]> ~nightmarehymn http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/24289626/ http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/24289626/ Fri, 17 Apr 2009 11:32:25 PDT
All I had to say, in the end, was a big fuck you. Unless you're feeding me, clothing me, fucking me or giving me money...please shut the fuck up.

Wasn't a rant, my dark side just had to come out. Bye.

]]> ~nightmarehymn http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/23960246/ http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/23960246/ Sun, 29 Mar 2009 22:21:17 PDT

]]> ~nightmarehymn http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/23561016/ http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/23561016/ Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:14:17 PST
I'm getting better at reading music, I mean a lot better. I know I sound all spazzy and fanboyish, but music is a real passion of mine. I don't come from the school of "I learned Mozart at three", I come from the school of "Vanessa Carlton, Fiona Apple, Amy Lee and all other chick pianist and one French composer". My music teacher told me to learn the stuff I wanted, then the other stuff, and I truly do believe that will help me become a better musician and songwriter.

Just a small update, hope people still read this lol.

See ya!

]]> ~nightmarehymn http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/23086974/ http://nightmarehymn.deviantart.com/journal/23086974/ Sun, 08 Feb 2009 16:29:22 PST
Ever since seeing "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" (which I recommend all to see, Penelope Cruz' performance was stunning, Scarlet Johansonn was beautiful and funny and it was set in one of the most romantic, sexy, stunning, heartbreaking cities in the world, Barcelona), my love for Spanish culture has formed into a tryst of even more engulfing passion. I don't know, I love it. Woody Allen made another great film.

I'm doing. That's all I'm gonna really put as an update. I'm trying and doing and writing this journal to hide the inevitable pain of me parting ways with people, things and all that other angsty, coming-of-age, teenage junk. Yeah, I'm hurting, but writing this journal just masks it. Haaaaaaaaaah, that's much better.

Stuck in static. It's calm under the waves in the blue of my oblivion. I'm floating. All things to describe me. I yearn for something more, reach for me, blah blah blah.

Paella will solve all of my problems. Paella is mi amigo. Paella

]]> ~nightmarehymn