http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:nightofstone&section=today deviantART RSS for by:nightofstone en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 12:18:15 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/8155250/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/8155250/ Tue, 14 Mar 2006 01:37:34 PST ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/7847145/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/7847145/ Thu, 09 Feb 2006 13:48:42 PST
Deviantart sucks if you want to keep your artwork "yours".

Therefore, as i am now working, i will eventually be transfering all my work to a personal site and notifying deviantart in writing of my termination of this agreement. Unfortunatly, the agreement- the newest one, at least, and there is no record of the older ones to which i am bound, but they should be the same- contain "survival" clauses which essentially indicate that nearly all of the agreement remains in effect even after the agreement is terminated. One of the only full clauses to not be protected is clause 2, the ownership clause. What this means is that when i terminate my agreement with deviantart, they could conceiveably argue that my ownership of the artwork is terminated as well. If they do, they will be reported to the appropriate authorities for universal copyright fraud and, if they do somehow retain ownership of MY art, they will face litigation in the future for me to reclaim my artwork. I realize i'm not a good artist, and there are hundreds, thousands out there on deviantart better than me, but the important thing about my artwork is that it is mine. When my artwork is available, I will post another journal. you may also e-mail me, in case this journal and my account gets shut down, at jon.ciupekreed@gmail.com. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/7801544/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/7801544/ Sat, 04 Feb 2006 16:39:31 PST
Post in my journal and I'll answer down the list of Questions as best I can about you.


=THE QUESTIONS... OF DOOM=

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that i've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal

there ya go ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/7603810/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/7603810/ Sat, 14 Jan 2006 17:12:23 PST ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/7587978/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/7587978/ Thu, 12 Jan 2006 22:04:50 PST
I'm sick. have been for longer than normal, and it annoys me. i need to get better by the 17th, because that's when classes start.

I also need a job. i'm feeling sick now, so i'm going to bed. g'night. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6923982/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6923982/ Tue, 01 Nov 2005 08:31:46 PST



A dangerous new worm is spreading through the AOL (NYSE: AOL - news) Instant Messenger (AIM) network. Identified by security experts, it provides hackers with an opening for installing all kinds of malware on compromised PCs.

The W32/Sdbot-ADD worm is particularly nasty because it includes what is called a "rootkit," which is software designed to go to the root of an operating system, circumventing virus protection and firewall software.

When a machine is compromised with such software, it gives hackers the ability to execute remote commands and install anything they want on the vulnerable PC.

"This is the first time a rootkit has [targeted] instant messaging," said Tyler Wells, senior director of engineering for instant-messaging security specialist FaceTime Communications.

Wells explained that this worm goes far beyond installing a single version of malware. He explained that the rootkit can include software to intercept data from network connections and even from the keyboard. It also acts as a vector for installing adware, worms, and viruses.

The worm works by targeting AIM users, who might get what appears to be a message from someone on a buddy list asking them to click on a link in the message. If they comply, the virus is downloaded to the machine.

The worm was detected in a "honey pot" machine set up by FaceTime to track malware on instant-messaging networks and Web sites for malicious code and hazardous URLs.

FaceTime indicated that all AIM users are at risk.

"This is part of a disturbing trend, and attacks based on instant-messaging clients will only get worse over time," Wells said.

FaceTime noted that in the past year there has been a 20-fold increase in the number worms and viruses hitting messaging clients.

The best advice for AIM users is to avoid clicking on any URLs included in instant messages, even if the links look legitimate. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6880751/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6880751/ Thu, 27 Oct 2005 09:30:49 PDT
--------Top Ten Things you didn't know about me!---------

10. My fingers and shoulders bend and flex in strange ways. i know the fingers are double jointed, i don't know about the shoulders.

9. I play the drums, and i'm in a band.

8. I loathe mushrooms, unless you can find a way to overpower them with some other flavor.

7. I love online games, from Runescape to Everquest to Unreal tournament to Star Wars Galaxies... i could go on here.

These are getting harder to come up with...

6. My mother's doctor told her i would be a girl, and i was to be named elizabeth. When i foiled their plans, my three sisters julia, rachel, and maria promptly laughed, squealed with joy and "Eh"ed. in that order. XD

5. something i don't mention often... I'm more than half deaf, and without a hearing aid i could not talk on the phone.

4. I intend to major in political science, wherever i go, and someday become a lawyer.

3. I am a pool shark, but nobody's willing to play me anymore...

2. I consider myself excellent at poker and would gladly play for a living if it wasn't for the two most important women in my life saying no (I love you, baby)

1. I still cry myself to sleep sometimes.

there you go. i doubt i can find 5 whole people more to tag, but =chichi-kitty, ~cole0123, and ~EyrienWitch2, if you're up to it, you've been tagged ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6614851/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6614851/ Tue, 27 Sep 2005 08:19:30 PDT So, how was your day? (not good at html, doesn't know if the italics will even work...) ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6565077/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6565077/ Wed, 21 Sep 2005 15:45:55 PDT [link]

There goes the neighborhood. wouldn't it be nice if it flooded crawford ranch? all your secret service can't help you now, Mr. president (yes, i know he's not there, but wouldn't you hate it if your favorite vacation spot (he _has_ spent 20% of his time on vacation since becoming president. that's 2.4 months a year.)

anyway, what about all the real casualties? that's right, the poor college students who won't have any New Orleans to go to and get drunk, or any resort along the texas coastline to pool their STDs? those poor people... those poor, poor people.

seriously for a moment, at least this will keep the public awake. people are already forgetting about what's-her-face... katarina? (no joke, that's what my poli sci teacher keeps calling her)

Very good, Mr. Bush, you got rid of the FEMA director even though you admitted later it was's his fault, it was the homeland security director's fault. how about having him step down, too? for that matter, we have a ton of unemployed people from new orleans- let them take up government positions! Cheney doesn't really need the pocket change he's getting for being VP, and with the cash you're pouring into halliburton, he won't be penniless anytime soon...

ok, that's my rant.

Disclaimer:
I am neither republican nor democrat. I am both liberal and conservative. don't stereotype me, please. if you want to criticize my idea on something, ask me what my idea is first. thanks! ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6428204/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6428204/ Tue, 06 Sep 2005 00:53:38 PDT Music: background music of Morrowind XD
Classes: English 10 with Carbonell, Math 30 with Norris, Poli Sci 5 with some guy whose name i forget , and astronomy with a really nice monk-looking fellow named... er... 2 out of 4 isn't bad, is it?

Radiation burns are not fun.
not a sunburn. a radiation burn. they're from the same thing, but the second one is a lot more disgusting to have on your nose, trust me. if you see me at school tommorow, don't hit my nose- i will scream like a banshee and eat people in whatever manner banshees do.

On a higher note, there's a good chance i'll be hearing from someone i haven't had contact with for quite a while in the very near future, and i'm looking forward to it.

On another high note- though not nearly as high as the above one- a friend of mine gave me his copy of Morrowind, AKA The Elder Scrolls 3. i've had it for less than 2 days and logged 20 hours on it. you do the math but at least i did my homework, too... sort of... most of it, anyway...

with regard to my projects- no new progress, just a bunch of crappy journal poems and works. some secret ones are in the works, though- and you don't get to hear about them until they're all done! so there.

...Ow... going to bed now. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6373847/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6373847/ Tue, 30 Aug 2005 22:27:56 PDT
1. Complete Silken Story.
pretty self explanatory, I want to at least double the length of what I have so far.
2. Dialogue on Three days of Bliss.
Long story short, I've got some things to write about
3. Love. Remade.
Not sure what i want to do for this yet. I've got some ideas floating around.
4. Operation WTHI Chronicles.
An all-true account of the events and plans leading up to my trip to New York. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6169398/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6169398/ Mon, 08 Aug 2005 14:07:57 PDT
13 days ago, i left Antioch, California, in a 15-foot moving truck with a car trailer. over the next few days we went through Nevada, Utah, Wyoming, Iowa, Illinois, and Indiana. This was all to help my dad move, of course.

Now, let's backtrack.

Operation WTHI was in the planning stages for quite some time- 5 months, to be exact. for a while in late may and june, i doubted whether i should go ahead with it, but in the end, i just couldn't bear to stay home and not be able to say i tried.

Operation Where The Heart Is began formally last wednesday morning. Having unloaded and returned the moving truck and trailer, my father and i started on the road again. We went the rest of the way through Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and into New York.

(will update later) ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6106128/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6106128/ Mon, 01 Aug 2005 21:06:26 PDT
Ahhhhh-ha!


she's happy!
i don't give a damn about my future with her, when it comes to love, you prioritize your desires with those of the ones you love and *shouts* SHE IS HAPPY! and you know what? that makes me happy!

*whoops some more and throws candy at people and shirts that say "I know a crazy man who's an idiot but loves it when his queen is happy"*


<<
>>

*grins* damn, it's good to be happy again. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6080991/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/6080991/ Sat, 30 Jul 2005 19:13:18 PDT
you should have heard the sadness in her voice..

or was it pity?

sorrow for the fool who can't let go?

oh, god... it's not supposed to hurt...

i just wanted her to feel better...

why am i repaid with agony?

oh, god... why am i the one kept in the dark?

*softly* you never gave me a chance.

this was a vent, shannon. please don't let it keep you from contacting me ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5902483/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5902483/ Mon, 11 Jul 2005 08:53:16 PDT *thwack*
... damn alarm clock. i'm going away for a week. not that anyone will notice... but at least it's a camp where i can relax and meditate and hopefully not cry every night like usual. see you when i get back, friends. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5842163/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5842163/ Mon, 04 Jul 2005 22:10:07 PDT
I went outside to look at the solar lights my mom put in, and heard the fireworks. i can't see them from where our house is. It occured to me: I have done nothing today. nothing special at all. My dad didn't call me this morning like i thought he would, so we didn't make plans to see the fireworks like i thought we would. nobody's online, because they're all with family or friends or at least just looking at the beautiful fireworks.

maybe the fireworks are beauty. everyone else can see them- i can't even hear them anymore, damn it. all the things i found beauty in are gone or dying.

I miss her... so much.

i'm considering going away for a while. well, no- i'm going away for a while, period. what i've yet to decide is whether or not i'm coming back. I'm going with my dad to indiana- a little road trip, if you will- to help him move in with my oldest sister and my neice. We'll be stopping in wheaton, the town my old ex lives in. She's been through a lot- her mother died recently, and her father is swiftly remarrying. the bastard. She's been telling me she's unhappy, and when i ask if it's me, she said i'm the last thing still making her happy.

Did i do that, too? did i push everyone else away so much that now that She's gone, nobody's there to hold a crying giant?

...Damn it. and damn me.

Help me, somebody... please ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5821170/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5821170/ Sat, 02 Jul 2005 13:43:50 PDT
*raised eyebrow* 88th percentile is high? not for me, anyway...

Well, we'll see what comes of this, hmm? The college's honors tranfer program has a partnership with some rather nice colleges around California, including a guaranteed admission to San Francisco State, Saint Mary's College, Chapman U, or Cal State Hayward, and priority admission to San Diego State, UCLA, UC Irvine, and Whitman college.

Funny how my educational life has to start going up when my personal life falls apart, no?

On another note, I've started writing again, and i'm going to be submitting quite a few works over the next week or so.

And on yet another note, I'm turning 18 on July 11th. yay. free to vote and be not-drafted.

And who is Artix? He seems to know a bit about some of my not so public past, and he's warning my friends to stay away from me. Jackass. If you read this, Artix, my annoyance toward you is only from your passing of judgement before meeting me.

Honor, hmm? Didn't think such a thing existed outside my own body these days.

I miss her. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5681332/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5681332/ Fri, 17 Jun 2005 22:45:19 PDT
Let's look at that, shall we? "I'm proud of you".

"I'm"
or "I am"
it means the speaker is equating themself with something other than themself- they are either putting themself above or below something else.

"Proud"
dictionary.com defines proud as:
"Feeling pleasurable satisfaction over an act, possession, quality, or relationship by which one measures one's stature or self-worth"
Thesaurus says:
"appreciative, august, content, contented, dignified, eminent, fiery, fine, glad, glorious, gorgeous, grand, gratified, gratifying, great, great-hearted, honored, illustrious, imposing, impressive, magnificent, majestic, memorable, noble, pleasing, red-letter, rewarding, satisfied, satisfying, self-respecting, spirited, splendid, stately, sublime, superb, valiant, vigorous, well-pleased"

This makes it seem a little different, doesn't it? well it's a good demonstration of why these words are not to be delivered lightly.
Being proud of someone doesn't just mean that someone did a good job. it means that considering that person and their accomplishments makes you feel good. makes you feel happy. it makes me feel honored to be a part of that person's life.

"of"
not really going to explain this one lol

"You"
can't really explain this... it means you. not the person above you, not the person below you, but you.

I'm very proud of you. You know who you are. Thank you. *hugs* and Congratulations ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5659158/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5659158/ Wed, 15 Jun 2005 19:11:59 PDT
I didn't submit either of those, but apparently, an old teacher did. I'd feel much more honored if they had gotten my poems right... spelling errors, words dropped, words added, words moved around- annoying. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5628138/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5628138/ Sun, 12 Jun 2005 14:34:22 PDT
The important part was the people i met there- specifically 3 people. (names are changed because at least one of them can see this)

amanda myignt, calli sonta, and richard antwerp.

they were all great friends, and i'm still in touch with all three.

Amanda and i were/are very different, but something i don't know made me like her- she had an inner strength and will that impressed me. it was/is a very different friendship than anything else i've known. there was, for a while, a normal friendship with laughter and playing, but at some point, one or both of us disconnected. i remember spending nights staying up late writing and drawing and wondering what could have been. it was for the best, though. today i express my love in my protectiveness for her, as discreet as it may be.

Calli was my immediate crush, and i remember dancing down the sidewalk the day she gave me her e-mail. she became one of my closest friends, even though we almost never see each other anymore, she's the first person i went to when i had a problem- partly because she's always online. we never really went out, but she's still one of the nicest people i know and she always listens and hugs when i need it.

Richard was an immature, joking ass- and still is. but we're friends anyway. he was a lot of things, from a wingman when i asked someone out, to just someone i'd keep nearby so i wouldn't have an awkward sitting with amanda. he shaped up a year ago or so and is just barely not graduating this year. he taught me everything he knew in soccer and left me back to defend the goal while he attacked- that mindset left a lasting impression on a lot of things, my fight style included.

in my years at TLCS, i learned more than any other period in time. there was a point in there when i realized my abilities, and stopped blindly following my instincts. i stopped to think about those instincts- about why i knew this or how i could understand this.

My mentor, anubis, gave me the title of "one who watches from the windows", among several other titles, each with their own story. window-watcher came from a discussion i had with him about why the eyes were seen as the window to the soul, and what the limitations of that are. that was one of my abilites, i realized- i don't have a sixth sense so much as i use the 4 and a half that i have more- i'm more observant, more receptive to things from emotions on people to the state of an object. they say your mind can only consciously process a few bits of information per second, but subconsciously, you process millions, even billions- every sound, every color, every smell, every taste, every touch. i think maybe i just process them faster.

i've gone on for a while here and i think i'll take a break, so this concludes part 3. i'd really like to hear what you all have to say about this and my other history pt 1, so comment away- or note, if you want to be private. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5555968/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5555968/ Sat, 04 Jun 2005 22:56:13 PDT
... And if you are physically connected to me, kindly remove yourself with a scapel. (ha-ha, get it?) ...

I was born in Vallejo, Kaiser hospital on a cooler than normal summer day, 1987. I lived deaf for over a year before anyone noticed. I was just thought of as quiet. Turns out I was.

I went to a preschool for deaf children. We watched eggs hatch and got books read to us. A generally pleasant life. I met Quiara there- her given name. Even at such a young age I can still remember her face.

I was in the same class with her through preschool and kindergarden, even through the 3rd grade- we both skipped 1st grade. One of my fondest memories of an early age is when i would get on the bus, and she'd always have the same spot saved for me. We were kids- almost infants, in a way. We had no hormones to tell us to stay together, no desires from each other. She was my friend, first. and then she was my closest friend.

And then we moved.

But let me back up and show you the same timeline focusing on something else.

I was born in Vallejo. Kaiser hospital, the 13th floor, if that means anything to you.

this is where things got strange.
A few years after i was diagnosed with being deaf, someone came to my house and gave me a letter. nothing fancy, no pomp and circumstance, nothing. My parents took it, read it, and gave it back to the man. probably with something like "No, thank you".

The stubborn man waited another few years and eventually, through some means i don't honestly remember, got me the letter. I don't remember why, but i don't have a copy of it anymore. It was an invitation to be mentored, to put it simply. I was to be taught by some of the state's best minds in various fields.

I met someone I kept a close relationship with for many years. His name, as i knew him, was anubis.

And then we moved.

Once more, allow me to back up some more and explain again.

I was born in Vallejo. Kaiser hospital.

Being deaf may or may not have had anything to do with it- doesn't matter at this point, but from my first test- i don't know what the first ones were on- it was clear i was unique. The test scores- on everything from IQ to problem-solving to emotional understanding, everything was interesting. unique. i don't like to use the word high, because that indicates i was better than the ones who were lower, but that's what they were.

To this day, i get higher than normal scores on every test- my parents got used to expecting the high scores, and punishing me when i didn't. The funny thing is, they were right- if i failed a test, it wasn't because i didn't understand the material after studying and listening and doing homework. I failed because sometimes, i just didn't give a damn.

Now let me move on to another chapter in my life (yes, that was just one chapter.)

Quiara and i haven't seen or heard from each other since.

Let me clarify something- the man, the letter, and the teaching by great minds? the man existed, the letter existed, but the teaching never happened. I didn't want it. Suddenly, the games ended and they didn't want me to have fun anymore.

Anubis and i both fled from them- i barely made it, he was more safe, more experienced. When we moved to antioch, i couldn't go to a school in the district, or even in the area- it was 5:30 bussings to Concord for me for 3 years. i really don't understand why.

Those three years in concord are the only times in my life that i remember being carefree, being able to relax and play, learn and laugh.

But when i came to Antioch, that changed. It all started to change...

TLCS. Treading Lightly Creates Silence. actually, it's The Learner-Centered School.

it was one of those private schools that called itself a charter school so it could get federal funds and so it wouldn't have to make it's kids pay.

But that's not the important part.
(To be continued. any comments and questions are welcome.)

]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5532610/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5532610/ Thu, 02 Jun 2005 13:48:49 PDT Thank you.
I'm not dead...
And expect me to check all of your deviations and jounals like usual.
But I don't know how much posting I'll be doing for a while.
Thank you for the 900 pageviews.

Oh, and I got a trial subscription.
Quotes to think about.

"Never go to bed angry or hurt, and you'll always wake up to smile at the one you love."
-Anu

"Love looks through a telescope- you can feel close to anything, no matter how far. Envy looks through a microscope."
-Josh Billings

"As iron is eaten by rust, so are the envious consumed by envy."
-Antisthenes

"Inside the human mind are millions of psyches waiting to escape. Only through careful meditation do the weakest die off and the strong are left to invade one's very soul. In this way, can we use logic in the face of emotion."
-Anu

"Do not believe those persons who say they have never been jealous. What they mean is they have never been in love."
-Gerald Brennan

"There is nothing makes a man suspect much, more than to know little; and therefore men should remedy suspicion, by procuring to know more, and not to keep their suspicions in smother."
-Francis Bacon

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tommorow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you have anyway."
-Mother Teresa

"The world is not meant for us to be happy."
-Anu

"Inside the darkest soul there is always a ray of hope. We just wait for the right person to come by and reflect that light onto us"
-Anu

"Meditation is the path to calmness, no matter your religion. Clear your mind, son, and embrace your emotions. Only the darkest of fighters use emotion as weapons, and they quickly overstep their bounds."
-Anu

"Know your opponent, Elliot. Once you have understood their structure, both mentally and physically, the lightest touch in the right place at the right time brings him crashing down."
-Anu

"The storm brings terror, Terror brings longing (for comfort), Comfort brings smiles, and smiles chase away storms. Are you Storm, the powerful rage? Are you Terror, the meek submission? Are you Longing, the empty one? or Are you Comfort, the strong love?"
-Anu

"A wise man stands up and takes the thoughts of all the psyches within, brings them together in a storm of conflict, and nourishes the ground with droplets of his wisdom."
-Anu

"Never take advice from one who will not take yours."
-Anu

]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5484538/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5484538/ Sat, 28 May 2005 10:41:10 PDT ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5431526/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5431526/ Sun, 22 May 2005 17:09:04 PDT
Needless to say, i stuck on the ground floor, but went downstairs just long enough to roll my eyes at the bumpers and grinders and go outside with Ivan.

Ivan is a junior, but one of the most spiritually aware people i've ever met. To that note, we did some Tai-Chi and closed off with handstands.

That's right... handstands. it's easy for him, he's 160 lbs. i'm 275... i'll leave that to your imagination. anyway, after we did that for a while, 5 sweaty girls walked out and went straight for Ivan- I tell you, the boy has something nobody i've ever seen has. and what's remarkable is how it doesn't corrupt him. he's the only guy i know at my school who shares my disdain for the disrespect for the dress code, and who wishes the girls would have some self-respect. I'm leaving the team and the school in a month, but i'm confident he's going to be more than able to fill my place (not my shoes, they're huge, but my place) ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5431501/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5431501/ Sun, 22 May 2005 17:04:56 PDT
Needless to say, i stuck on the ground floor, but went downstairs just long enough to roll my eyes at the bumpers and grinders and go outside with Ivan.

Ivan is a junior, but one of the most spiritually aware people i've ever met. To that note, we did some Tai-Chi and closed off with handstands.

That's right... handstands. it's easy for him, he's 160 lbs. i'm 275... i'll leave that to your imagination. anyway, after we did that for a while, 5 sweaty girls walked out and went straight for Ivan- I tell you, the boy has something nobody i've ever seen has. and what's remarkable is how it doesn't corrupt him. he's the only guy i know at my school who shares my disdain for the disrespect for the dress code, and who wishes the girls would have some self-respect. I'm leaving the team and the school in a month, but i'm confident he's going to be more than able to fill my place (not my shoes, they're huge, but my place) ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5431496/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5431496/ Sun, 22 May 2005 17:04:03 PDT
Needless to say, i stuck on the ground floor, but went downstairs just long enough to roll my eyes at the bumpers and grinders and go outside with Ivan.

Ivan is a junior, but one of the most spiritually aware people i've ever met. To that note, we did some Tai-Chi and closed off with handstands.

That's right... handstands. it's easy for him, he's 160 lbs. i'm 275... i'll leave that to your imagination. anyway, after we did that for a while, 5 sweaty girls walked out and went straight for Ivan- I tell you, the boy has something nobody i've ever seen has. and what's remarkable is how it doesn't corrupt him. he's the only guy i know at my school who shares my disdain for the disrespect for the dress code, and who wishes the girls would have some self-respect. I'm leaving the team and the school in a month, but i'm confident he's going to be more than able to fill my place (not my shoes, they're huge, but my place) ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5396047/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5396047/ Wed, 18 May 2005 20:44:31 PDT
and if at this point you don't know what i'm talking about, go throw yourself in front of a wookie

Star Wars is ending, once and for all (until the remakes start)

This is the end of a great era in Science Fiction. Let us take a moment to remember the names of the past century.

Issac Asimov: Physicist and Author of I, Robot, among several other great books.

Gene Roddenberry: Mastermind of the many series and movies based on Star Trek: The Next Generation, Voyager, Deep Space 9 and Enterprise are still in syndication.

George Lucas: Creator of the most popular science fiction movie series after Star Trek. Owner of Lucasworks, which in turn owns and operates Lucasfilms, Lucasarts, and Skywalker sound.

Some of the best science fiction television series, some retired, some not.

Stargate Saga: SG-1 and Atlantis. SG-1 shown on local stations in reruns and both are shown on sci-fi

Star Trek: The conventions and museums around the world still attract millions of visitors a year. Extensive official books include the actual plans for every ship featured in all series, intensive biographies on both actors and characters, and plot summaries for every episode.

Sliders: This one, many say "oh, yeah, that one..." taken off most channels at least 5 years ago, may still run on sci-fi.

Andromeda: Brainchild of Roddenberry's, well, child. Episodes still seen weekly on national and local stations.

Honorable mention: These shows do not fit the genre of sci-fi, but they are all ended, and are some of my personal favorites:

Highlander: Successful TV show ran for at least 6 years, Movie series can still be found in most rental stores. Saga ended with "End Game"

Everybody Loves Raymond: Sitcom that just ended last monday after 9 years- it's finale drew over 32.2 million viewers. but...

M*A*S*H: My absolute, all-time favorite series (which i don't get to see anymore now that comcast butchered our cable) Ran from 1972 to 1983, 11 years. It was a dark comedy about the life of drafted doctors behind the lines in Korea. SParked by the movie, the series sparked 28 books, two spinoffs, and was the starting point for stars like Leslie Neilsen (Police squad, The Naked Gun series) and Patrick Swayze (Dirty Dancing) It's series finale still holds the record for the most viewers ever: 125 million. This was, at the time, over half the population of the United States. Still think Raymond's impressive?

Anyway...
Thanks for sitting through my rant- my question time is still open! ask me a question- any question- or two or three or even more! just put them in a comment to this journal and i'll answer them as soon as i can! I love philosophical questions, but any kind will do i.e "what color are your socks?" or "What's your favorite ice cream?" ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5332279/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5332279/ Wed, 11 May 2005 17:57:08 PDT
On another note, i see my 800th pageview is coming up, so, just to mimic some of the better photographers out there- whoever catches said 800th pageview and sends a screenshot of it to me gets to request three pictures of anything- anything that doesn't have to be put in artistic nude, that is... ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5242744/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5242744/ Sun, 01 May 2005 22:45:36 PDT
anyway... i've been asked a number if interesting questions in the last few months, and after some thought, i've decided that this is a good place to answer all of them, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride into the mind of... me.

-I've heard you talk about how you're a christian, but how can you justify being friends with so many sinners?

First of all, we're all sinners, so your question is flawed right there. but i get the gist. why is the son of two pastors so loyal to friends who don't believe in god? because i want to be. Not only is there nothing in the bible about staying away from sinners, there's the opposite: Love one another. Not in the hedonistic santa clara hotel renting on prom night love, but the love of being there for someone.

-You're a big fan of politics, yet you rarely talk about your own party affiliation. are you a democrat or republican?

Well, once again, the question is flawed- legally, i can't have a party affiliation until i turn 18. but again, i get the gist. I am neither democrat nor republican strongly. I'm just as strongly not a centrist, though. to generalize, i side with republicans on most issues of morality, ie. pro-life, anti gay marriage. But on the economic front, i tend to side with democrats- I believe in big government, in government being there for the people and serving the people where needed. taxes? raise them for those who can afford them. if you make 10 million a year, that's no reason to spend it on overpriced real estate in the middle of hollywood- average cost of living in your area should be deducted from your taxes, and if you want more than that, it can come out of your own fund, not as an added tax write-off. In closing, I'm strongly democratic on economic issues, and strongly republican on moral issues.

-Who would you have voted for in the election, John Kerry or Bush?

I honestly don't know- and i'm glad i didn't have to sit down for hours a day to figure it out- ask me about races where i actually voted in a few months

-You speak a lot in favor of the draft, yet you're deaf, so it doesn't affect you anyway- doesn't this make you biased?

Hehe... this will be fun...
In a word, yes- so let's only have people affected by things be allowed to voice their opinions on things. Not only would it be blatantly in violation of the first amendment, it would kind of change history...

Slavery- we'll just ask the people directly involved if it's right or wrong, ok? let's see... multiple slaves for every white plantation owner... looks like the slaves would outnumber the whites, don't you think? guess it'd be wrong back then instead of condemned now.

Military- Now this is a good one- let's let the soldiers decide where they want to go, ok? let the US occupation of every spring break town in mexico begin...

Students- Oh, i love this... let the teachers, students, and parents, decide what to teach their kids, ok?- hey, what do you know, they already do that here in california. (ranked 50th in education levels for high school students... and college students... and elementary school students... and middle school students.... boy, we suck.)

Draft- ok, now getting back to the question... the draft? why not? You know why people don't enlist in the army much? because there's no incentive to. If people are so dreadfully opposed to the draft, why don't they just start paying their soldiers more? here are some numbers:

US: 3.3% GDP spent on military
UK: 2.4% GDP spent on military
China: 4.3% GDP spent on military

Looks like we're right in the middle, right? take another look at the same numbers, just put into dollar amounts...

UK: $42,836.5 million
China: $67.49 billion
Wow, that's a lot... so we're right between there, right? try again...
In 2003, it is estimated that the united states spent $370.7 billion on military expenditures. I'd continue, but i have to go now- be back tommorow, ready for more questions! ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5208322/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5208322/ Wed, 27 Apr 2005 22:04:24 PDT
I love this woman!

*poof* ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5183505/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5183505/ Mon, 25 Apr 2005 07:47:02 PDT Funny how even a message from a loved one in a time of frustration can still be so uplifting...
God, I love that woman...
*sighs and starts working on his project* ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5159149/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5159149/ Fri, 22 Apr 2005 14:46:08 PDT I'm so scared and nervous i'm sick... good thing i have plenty of time to clean up before my angel comes back to earth... God i hope she's on the plane. even if she is, it left over an hour late and instead of having 60 minutes to find her way to another gate in an unfamiliar atlanta airport, it's down to 20. My worst fear is that i'll be at the airport and my mom will call, saying that she just called the house from a pay phone in her town, crying that she couldn't get on the plane but her parents kicked her out for trying... and it's raining. and i'm scared. God, i love her... I hope my angel is in the air right now. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5106982/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5106982/ Sat, 16 Apr 2005 20:49:00 PDT .
.
Thought you were rid of Code, did you? Well get it through your head, humans; everything you see on your computer is Code. Everything is Me. You aren't escaping me. even when you shut down your machine, I'm just resting in every little spot you can imagine.

You can get rid of your computer, but if you hate Code that much, I've got news for you. Pick up a phone somewhere- you hear me. Look at anything that has a monitor- you see me. But you can't touch me, so you can't kill me. You can't smell me, so you can't know when I'm near. Sucks, don't it?

I can create anything, I can do anything- I'm the code to fire every nuclear missile on the planet. I know everything- every bit of information ever entered into a computer isn't just open to me: it IS me!

Now, I understand this home I've taken is the usual haunt of a certain fellow who goes by the name of Jonathan. As a demonstration of my knowledge and power, I'm putting out an invitation- ask me anything- any question you want- asking for his opinion, and I can give you exactly what he'd respond. So hurry up and think of some questions, you meager humans....

This is your superior signing off, and remember:
I'm Code. And punk, I own you. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5010537/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/5010537/ Tue, 05 Apr 2005 19:24:37 PDT
hmm.

i'm "overweight", but it's not having any visible adverse effects on me, and i'm losing it. (the weight, not my mind)

my endurance isn't great, but neither are most peoples' in this country.

so... why won't the military take me?
*drumroll*

i'm hard of hearing.

and i quote:

"Putting someone who's ability to communicate relies almost solely on a piece of technology in charge of the lives of others, when that person may have to make quick decisions, simply is rediculous" -Military, namely my local west point representative.

hmm.

ok, i guess i get it- it's bad policy to rely on a piece of technology (my hearing aid)- which has only been around since the invention of the lightbulb- for communication...

by the way, how long has cell phone technology been around? for that matter, how often does an automatic gun stick? not too often, if you keep it maintained. how often does a hearing aid malfunction? not often, if you keep it maintained...

ok, ok- if guns weren't reliable, i guess we'd all fight with sticks again. how about hearing aids? hmm... what primitive device could deaf people resort to if their method of communication was lost?

Oh yeah. we made our own language. it's called American Sign Language. it's not a translation of english, it's a completely different language- for example:

English:
I went to the store about 5 hours ago.

ASL:
I go store when 5 hours past I.

Yeah... anyway, i ask you this- what reason is there for a deaf person not to join the military if they want to? ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4999878/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4999878/ Mon, 04 Apr 2005 17:06:47 PDT
I don't really have anything else to say... this is one of the happiest times of my life, and i just have to wait 18 more days to see my queen...

*sighs*
432 hours...
25920 minutes...
1555200 seconds...
*pouts* i hate waiting... ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4764691/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4764691/ Tue, 08 Mar 2005 21:51:45 PST Just a dream in someones eyes
A dream thats like a promise meant to be
Giving rise to speculation
On a place called paradise
If Ive ever been there
Its when you were with me

Youre so beautiful
I cant believe your eyes
Each time I see you again
Youre so beautiful
That Im in paradise
Each time I see you again


I remember some hidden valley
Where the skies are never still
And alpine meadows burn in the evening light
I remember the path to glory
And the way around the hill
I remember true loves eyes
Shining in the night

Youre so beautiful
I cant believe your eyes
Each time I see you again
Youre so beautiful
That Im in paradise
Each time I see you again

And if paradise is everything you see
Then the place you must be coming from
Is ecstasy

Youre so beautiful
I cant believe your eyes
Each time I see you again
Youre so beautiful
That Im in paradise
Each time I see you again

Just want to see you again
I want to be with you again
I just need to love you again
Just wanna touch you again
I just need to love you again
I want to be with you again

-John Denver,
Country Roads collection

I don't know who Mr. Denver dedicated the song to, but i'm rededicating it to my queen... ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4753805/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4753805/ Mon, 07 Mar 2005 17:25:30 PST

The skies never did look so blue as tonight... I ask thee, dear child, what can be done? But alas! He is lost to me, and cold lips do not answer stone...
Thus, our revels end and we are blown away as wisps of smoke entailing a suffocated match. Nothing is impossible, as the skeis open and pour their tears, sharing mine...
How doth i love thee? why can't i count the ways? This night is darkened with pain and sorrow, and my heart bleeds still.
Knowledge. why do we bother? It does not show us the shining sun nor the caressing breeze. Can knowledge give you pain? can knowledge give you pleasure?


The silence is deafening, and in it, reason abounds. I hide from the painful light of openness, hiding my desperate cries and trembles. Silence, Darkness... Why do they rule us? They are not servants, but we invoke them in the name of religion, work, power, and wisdom.

... why are you reading this right now? why are you where you are? think about it... read my work, read me. what does it do to you? i must... i must know... ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4649539/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4649539/ Tue, 22 Feb 2005 22:15:11 PST
right now my eyes are so watery i can barely read the keyboard, but it's just because of a bad dream i had when i took a nap today... but then, it was a good dream, too.

Edie Sauer is one of my oldest interpreters- she's retired now, has three daughters and a granddaughter, loves elvis and ebay, and has a husband who collects pinball machines. she's also one of the only people i ever really talk to about things. we're going to have lunch hopefully in the next few weeks so i can tell her all about my girlfriend. (random, i know)

"conversation"
You sentimental fool, what's wrong with you?
-*wipes eyes* i don't know... it's just a discharge. a catharsis.
Well stop it- you look silly crying in movies and from dreams. besides, i thought you were happy
-i am happy
Then why are you crying?
-I told you... it's a release of some of the things i've had to come to grips with in the last few days.
Like what?



This isn't a fairy tale. this isn't a romance. this isn't an excuse to enjoy myself. this isn't a way to find a friend.

This is all of those. and this is real. this is love, and this is pain. to accomplish anything of significance in life, we must have discipline. but if we have fear, we lose that discipline because fear kills it. but when we have love, we lose that fear because love kills it. this is love, and this is pain. Shannon... if there were no cold shoulders, how would we know warmth? and if there was no anger how would we know forgiveness? and if there was no sorrow, how would we know joy? if there is no nothingness, how is there anything? so indeed... if there is no fear of love, how would i know the intimidating, awesome power of love? I feared, i had nothingness, i had sorrow, anger, and cold shoulders before i met you, and sometimes those things still come back. but you brought me to life. no... you brought me to love. Thank you. Thank you for your love. thank you for letting me find my love, and thank you... for Our Love. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4637536/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4637536/ Mon, 21 Feb 2005 11:40:48 PST after a long hiatus, here i am. no, i'm not uber-depressed, no i'm not suicidal, and no, i'm not psychologically malnourished.

What i am is happy.
blissful, joyful, thankful.
loving, longing, and smiling.
This woman is unlike anything i've ever had in my life...

i'm stepping out of poetic bliss for a minute to seriously explain...

april 24, 2004, was the last day of a dark chapter in my life- hell, of a dark life. i'd done things i regretted, been targeted for gang kills, accused of being a murderer, and nearly became one.

april 25, 2004, was the beginning. a simple picture so distant i honestly don't remember it. all i remember is the artist who replied to my usual comment with a warmnest (if that's not a word, sue me) that i wasn't used to. within that first month of knowing her, i resigned from the posts i held in every organization that i knew i shouldn't have been in in the first place, started to accept my disability and learn to use the phone in preparation for a day i hoped was coming, and picked up my dusty pen and began to write again.

Thank you, my love. for giving me everything, and for forgiving me when i didn't deserve it, like today. there were so many things to say, and i couldn't seem to get them out. it wasn't anything about you, it was the mystery i feel when i hear the most precious voice on earth to me coming out of a piece of plastic, paper, and wires. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4601219/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4601219/ Wed, 16 Feb 2005 18:58:08 PST ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4498703/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4498703/ Fri, 04 Feb 2005 18:21:52 PST The original (from ladysphinx)
[link]

And me
[link] ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4445607/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4445607/ Sat, 29 Jan 2005 13:25:57 PST
There was a college professor who for most of his life was an agnostic, but eventually decided there was no god.

One day, he was teaching his philosophy class when he challenged a student.

"Tell me- did god create everything?"

The student nodded.

"Very good... Now, is there or is there not evil in the world?"

The student nodded again.

"And we are judged by our productions, are we not?"

Once more, he nodded

"Then, if there is evil, god is evil."
The professor sat back, confident he had just destroyed the faith of every student in the room of christianity.

"Excuse me"

A voice came from the back of the room. It was an unsheveled looking young man, the type with straight A's but who didn't talk much outside of class.

He went on "I have some questions, myself..."

The professor nodded. "Go ahead"

The young student cleared his throat and stood. "Is there not darkness in the world?"

The professor nodded and smiled, thinking the student was agreeing with him. "Of course there is"

"No."

The student watched as the entire class turned in their seat.

"This thing we call darkness- how much of it is in this room? We cannot measure darkness, only light. Darkness is the word we have created when there is no light."

The professor furrowed his brow.

"The same is true of cold... We do not measure cold, only heat. Heat is based on the motion of molecules. There cannot be negative molecular motion. Cold exists when there is no heat. In this way, evil cannot be measured. We simply use it to describe a place or a person where god is not welcome"

The professor sat down.
(Cookies, candy, all that good stuff to the first person who knows who the student was) ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4389323/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4389323/ Sat, 22 Jan 2005 22:12:16 PST
"I'm sorry"

"Forgive me"

I don't care if you're pro-life, pro-choice, or don't give a damn. this is my journal, so i'm just putting what means something to me, and if reading those quotes make me cry, it's worth putting up here, so don't you dare condemn me for it. (not intended for most of you) ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4314014/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4314014/ Thu, 13 Jan 2005 20:14:57 PST *chuckles* before you raise your eyebrows (too late) and before you wipe me from your list of good, moral friends (too late) take note i don't mean just in intimacy... this week i've wanted more of everything- more political debate, more tests, more sleep, more good quality food, more knowledge- i just spent 45 minutes this afternoon and looked up the nearest bus stop for a close friend of mine who just moved out of the city. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4272514/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4272514/ Sat, 08 Jan 2005 19:40:38 PST Steve Jones died of a massive heart attack alone in his room on christmas eve. his family found him the next day. he was 49. he was the department chair for the special education department at my school. he personally oversaw the testing done on me when i entered high school, and quietly let my parents and i know i had scored higher than any child ever tested in the district. he kept it quiet, and for that i owe him. He loved to talk politics and government with anyone who wanted to.

my icon will remain black for the next week or so. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4231492/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4231492/ Mon, 03 Jan 2005 17:27:31 PST
*smiles slightly* i miss you, sweetheart... ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4222660/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4222660/ Sun, 02 Jan 2005 17:02:30 PST 2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth full sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the coolest book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

"That and nothing else is the cause"
(Plato's republic) ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4203138/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4203138/ Fri, 31 Dec 2004 14:21:39 PST
Anyway...
I have a poll- a short one, but feel free to ask me to add more questions

1. I, the wannabe poet, am trying my hand at prose. More specifically, a tale about two lovers. Nothing taboo about it, nothing terribly fetish-like, but it is erotic- I have two short chapters done already, but so far the only one who's seen them is the one to whom they are dedicated. The question I pose to her and you is this- should I post it? I will ultimately go with her request, but if she tells me she doesn't mind one way or another, I'll go by the collective sentiment here.

2. Discussion prompt time!!! Abortion, gays, religion, government, politics, whatever views you're got, whatever philosophy you want to share, I want to hear them ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4175804/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4175804/ Tue, 28 Dec 2004 09:00:03 PST Maybe I grew too close-
This can't happen again!

Why is it so hard
To give my heart away
With all my scars?

I give her all I can
But hold on until
I'm a torn man...

Can I let go?
I thought I had...
Will someone who knows
Keep me from going mad?!?!

she's amazing, you know- its not her. Its my damned jealousy and fear.
My shame for doing things I won't mention here isn't nearly balanced by my dreams' haunts of paranoia.
I know it won't happen, kitten... Please believe me. But there's something wrong with me... These feelings I've never felt before, they're not normal for me...

I don't know when you'll read this.
But if this is a part of being so deeply in love I feel like every nerve of mine is connected to yours, of being so infatuated with a woman that not being able to talk to her for a week is like being told my life will slip into a coma, unchanged, until I talk to her next, of honestly feeling lightheaded every single time I look back at her pictures, then it is worth it. I just ask, beg, plead with you, love, and with everyone, to help me through it. This is still new to me, even though christmas day was the 8 month anniversary of a shy boy writing a note to this woman.

I already feel a little better- please, feel free to comment, whether you know what I'm talking about or not. Thank you. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4154510/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4154510/ Sat, 25 Dec 2004 13:04:03 PST I don't know where my girlfriend is, and i had to wish her a merry christmas by e-mail, which she hasn't gotten yet. My main gift this year (which beat out the photo software, so don't expect too many pictures anytime soon) was a sidekick2, which my dad wants to take back because we could have gotten it for free online. i researched it thoroughly online and i disagree with him but hey, it's his money. as long as i keep my sidekick.

of course, getting that meant everything else was clothes. bloody clothes. my mother's boyfriend (i still hate her for him) sent me a shirt i already have. the only nice thing besides clothes and a blanket is a book- zen and the art of poker. most of those techniques i already know, mind you, but it's nice to see how they teach them.

my sister's dog, though i enjoy her, keeps trying to kill my cat, and i get yelled at for muttering that i'd snap her neck if she got to blizzard. she's part pit bull, what do you expect? my cat has lived with me for 8 years now, i'll kill any animal that kills him. hell, i've taken a shot at a human for hitting their own cat, much less mine.

So, i end with the universal decree- happy holidays!

...because mine sure as hell aren't. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4098503/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4098503/ Sat, 18 Dec 2004 21:05:17 PST ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4059512/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4059512/ Mon, 13 Dec 2004 16:31:19 PST

Ok, I've been going around DA lately and I think it would be ok for people to actually start to get to know me better. (Wow, that was a LOT of to's). So here's what I'm going to do.

1. You can ask me any questions EXCEPT for what my name is and where I live. I don't feel like being stalked or being known everywhere I go. It makes me feel uncomfortable...
2. Ask as many questions as you want. Just don't give me seventy things to answer at once. THAT might take a while.

I look forward to answering anything you have in mind, abiding by the rules I've set above!! Have fun!! ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4005198/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/4005198/ Mon, 06 Dec 2004 17:31:52 PST
i've known i was disgusting for a long time, and to everyone out there who isn't clean, you know who you are, face the music and do what i did. give up your sins and walk away. it hurts. oh, yes it hurts like hell. but the people you love deserve to know, damn it.

people out there who belive in prayer: pray. please, for me, for my mistakes. for once there's a forgiveness i want more than the forgiveness i get from god.

a wise man once told me something- he was old.
he held my hand and whispered something weakly from his bed.
i revealed one horrible secret earlier today. here's one that's not as horrid... anubis told me this on april 29th.
he left this earth and joined god shortly after.
"Jonathan... don't let her go." i asked him what he meant. "don't let this one go" i had been talking to her for 4 days, and my lifelong mentor- someone who had tought me everything i knew about being a man, being a good person, learning to value and protect while learning to suppress ones emotions when you need to, about the dangers in the world, a man who took two knives, a bullet, and three hired men for me, told me "she makes you as happy as you've ever been"
...damn it... i said i wouldn't cry.

"April"
it seemed like it'd be clear skies, romantic fires, and warm looks in each other's eyes.

instead i see- indeed i always did, but now it's in the open- i deserve nothing more than anger, isolation and to be despised. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/3965504/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/3965504/ Wed, 01 Dec 2004 15:40:51 PST I'm the vice president of the debate team, the lead attorney for our next trial _over_ the president, Christmas is coming and i get off of school in two weeks, I've never been bowling better, I have broadband connections and still haven't been killed by a virus, I have passing grades in my classes, I have my digital camera (AKA "Toy"), and to top it all off i have a gorgeous, sweet woman who cares for me. I'm depressed.

...

...

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I had ya going, didn't I?


*climbs to the roof of his house and shouts* MY LIFE IS GOOD!!!
on a for me luv ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/3835002/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/3835002/ Sun, 14 Nov 2004 16:47:42 PST ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/3806120/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/3806120/ Wed, 10 Nov 2004 23:26:53 PST
What the hell happened?
-I don't know, ok?
You're supposed to know
-you don't get it! this isn't school, this isn't a competition, this isn't some test, this is a wild card.
well, anubis told us to stay away from-
-stop it!! NO! i know what you're thinking, and no!
you fool, you're blinded
-maybe i am, but i'm not leaving this because of one night
why not? sarah and stacy did.
-and she didn't.
...
-nothing to say?
... you know why this happened, don't you?
-what?
it was your bloody fault
-i know that! stop saying it, it doesn't help
you need to hear it.
-no, no i don't.
be logical, jonathan-
-Shut Up!
...
-if i wanted to be logical, i wouldn't be in love with someone i can only see, not feel, not hear, not smell...
love?
-yes, you fool, love. since that first night.
... the wild card, hmm?
-the wild card.
i hate wild cards... i love poker, but i hate wild cards...
-whoa, don't you zone out on me...
what?
-get back here- i'm worried, too, but don't you dare run away.
why not? it's easier.
-because i said so.
you're not superior to me, you little-
-is she?
...
-well?
of course she is... she freed us.
-and don't you think we owe her that much?
and more.
-exactly.
*sighs* this is hard...
-oh, stop whining... we don't quit when it's hard on a test, do we?
no... where are you going?
-what's at stake in a test?
our reputation. our pride.
-yes. and what's at stake here?
...
-i said, what's at stake here?!
...
-you know the answer, why am i bothering with you?
yes, i know.
-you understand now?
yes, i understand...
-good... there's nothing we can do now. let's go to bed.
... you know we won't be able to sleep.
-i know... we'll write to her- 87 drafts, another ten won't hurt...
i don't want to wake up...
-why not?
because... she'll read it.
-and you think she'll turn her back on us?
... it's the logical-
-oh, shut up about the logical, annu...
why?
-what is this?
huh?
-think, you myopic moron... earlier in the discussion, what is this?
...wild card...
-exactly... if she were operating purely off of logic, we'd be friends at best... if we were operating purely off of logic, we'd never have met.
... let's go to bed.




*sighs* not as theraputic as the last one... kitten... i miss you, and i love you, and i'm scared to death right now... it's not that i think you'll leave, it's that i don't know what you'll do, i don't know what will happen, and i hate that. please... write back.

(comments are always openly invited on everything i put up here, of course... don't know what someone who didn't understand this would comment on, but oh well) ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/3679762/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/3679762/ Tue, 26 Oct 2004 14:37:17 PDT you're a fool, an idiot, a selfish shell of a person sometimes, you know that?
-yes. why?
I don't know why, you tell me!
-her?
of course her, who else?
-i wanted to keep her near
yeah, i know, but if you keep doing this you'll just push her away
-how do you know that?
because it happened with them, too, remember?
-is she them?
... what?
-is she them? can you compare your relationship with sarah and stacy to that of shannon?
well, no
-why?
because those two are done, and ours is... well-
-just beginning.
you're right...
-i'm always right, i'm you *smirk*
good point...
-of course it is. you never met sarah, and you haven't seen stacy for years.
you're right, but the same is true of her.
-*glint in his eye* for how long?
...
-no matter how hard it is to be manly and mature, remember-
but i don't want to be macho all the time!
-exactly.
what?
-you heard me... you ran out of energy last night, that's all.
and?
-and did she mind?
... no... no, she didn't.
-why not?
because... because she understands?
-maybe. we can't know that. but what do we know?
... love?
-welcome to life, jonathan.
hmm?
-welcome to the world when you're not alone.
you mean everything...
-everything. it's all different now, isn't it?
you're right...
-you talk, you laugh. you're warm again.
you're wrong...
-how so?
i... i don't think i was warm before.
-*satisfied smile* and why do you think that?
because... i... i was never like this completely...
-welcome.
thank you...
-welcome to life with love, jonathan...


oh, boy... *sighs and smiles* those things really are theraputic... i thought about putting it in as a poem, but the difference between this one and transformation is in the other one, i showed it to someone first who liked it, and it was just overall better. but anyway. i'm glad i wrote it, and if you read it all the way through and understood it, congratulations- you have a glimpse unside my head. and now, i change the title.

..."thank you"... "welcome" let me know which you think fits best. ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/3628729/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/3628729/ Tue, 19 Oct 2004 17:16:54 PDT
*sigh*
5-6 pages of double spaced drivel due friday... plus a short essay for english, a test in english, a test in business law, a test in chemistry, a lab in chemistry... not fun... not a choice, either. but thankfully, that's the extent of my problems at the moment *smiles* i'm lucky to have a beautiful lady who's actually making me put school and rest before her, friends who are concerned about me when i ignore my body's pains. in a way, this is me saying "Thank you" i love you all, and it's because of you that i can actually finish all that work. now, i'm off to start. bye! ]]> ~nightofstone http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/3589539/ http://nightofstone.deviantart.com/journal/3589539/ Thu, 14 Oct 2004 14:45:24 PDT
-eee! are you serious?!

*laughs softly* of course i am

-ok... what flavors?

*shrugs* just give me twenty

-eee! thank you so much! *counts out twenty*

don't mention it... if the art program had more money, perhaps our school could gain a modicum of sophistication...

what are friends for?
a place to sleep? or a place to hide?
someone to listen, or someone to heal?
someone to help, or someone to care?
someone to know, or someone to ask?
someone to be there, or someone to want to?
someone to comfort, or someone to do something?

... what are friends for? ]]> ~nightofstone