http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:nockturnale&section=today deviantART RSS for by:nockturnale en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 07 Dec 2009 03:40:09 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/28724212/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/28724212/ Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:57:20 PST
So Life has changed more than it's even possible to explain right now.
The first semester of second year of school is wrapping up here next week. I'm almost done with my b&w photography class, and then all I have to do is find a scanner to share my work with everyone here! I'm most excited about that, to be honest. I really wish I had time to go scan them right NOW. But soon, soon...

Yar. That's about it for now.

Emilee

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/26540882/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/26540882/ Wed, 12 Aug 2009 04:02:46 PDT But that doesn't mean I'm not inspired! I am...it's just that by the time I get home, I'm not motivated enough...
I actually have to leave for work in about ten minutes.

Other than that, summer is nearly over and I can say, maybe hesitantly, that I did do a few things this year that made it okay. I didn't make as much art as I wanted to..but that's the case all the time. I always want to create something. I always have some ideas. It's just that somewhere in the process things always get messed up, or they never come out right..
I don't know. I still feel like there's some kind of dam in my life; where there's all this creativity and all these ideas in me but something is just holding them back from coming out. Who knows...

Anyway, mayhaps when I get back to school I'll have more to show you guys on here. I am taking more classes involved with my Graphic Design major. I am SOOOOO excited to be taking Intro to Typography this semester...sweet god I am pumped. So there will probably be some neat stuff from that, I'm hoping.

Stay tuned. For serious.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/24330903/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/24330903/ Sun, 19 Apr 2009 17:47:49 PDT
Today I created my new ID and a propaganda dealie. I'll probably work on the latter more. Or create another one. Either way, today was a pretty creative day. It just hits me. That is how it works.

I just get SMACKED with an idea and I do it. If I try to think really hard other times, to come up with something, it usually doesn't work out too well. The recycling poster hit me as soon as I knew what the project was. I had a spark and used it. The same with the things I accomplished today.

So I feel pretty alright at the moment. I wish I would be able to do it all the time, though.



In other news, finals week is looming. This week is the last of classes. Then there are those classes meeting for final projects and tests. And then it's over. I wish I could say the stress is done, but seeing as my dad's job just moved again and we're without insurance, plus (despite living with my awesome boyfriend, who I won't let pay for everything of mine) I need to get a job so I can afford to continue existing. My car is nearly to 265,000 miles. I keep worrying about her.

Moral of the story:
I'm going to try to do more photos and art this summer.
I think.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/21762948/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/21762948/ Mon, 01 Dec 2008 09:09:20 PST Misleading, isn't it?

Anyway, recently I've been mulling over old stuff, editing it, etc. I haven't really been taking new photos. Mainly because I'm still devoid of a camera. And my cell phone camera, which if you've been through my gallery you've seen PLENTY of pictures from, is like...broken now. It's always blurry and crap on one side. I guess I finally dropped it too many times.

Other than that, I've been working on school. I should probably be working on that right now, but whatever. And finals are coming up. Perhaps over Christmas break I'll get some new stuff. Being so far away from everyone who wants to do something ( *cough ~morbidaestheticx, ~ShadowontheWall85, ~StormofSerenity cough*) makes it difficult. And over Thanksgiving I just watched hours of Scrubs and worked at Cinemark, haha.

I have new things to showwww off. It's just a matter of finding the time and motivation and...a camera or someone with one...that isn't an hour away.

All excuses, excuses, excuses. It'll happen eventually. Promise. Maybe after Christmas when I either get a camera or enough money to afford one. I currently have $36 dollars in my bank account. I AM the epitome of broke college student I guess? I pretty much live with my boyfriend so the food and stuff thing works out pretty well. I haven't started making furniture out of two by fours and cement blocks yet. Which is nice. And he also has some pretty amazing ideas, himself. Some day I'll con him into busting out HIS camera.

Okay, enough of me making excuses for why I'm neglecting dA.
It's leftovers time! Still!

And I have to wholeheartedly thank *Miss-Deathwish for her feature I'm in, which got me something around 50 favorites and watches and stuff when I logged on today. She's an amazing artist who I admire! Thank youuuuuuu!

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/20453099/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/20453099/ Fri, 12 Sep 2008 10:55:32 PDT
I've been at school a few weeks.
Things are going pretty well so far.

I have new pretties, too.
lmfao

Not a whole lot of time to go out and do anything, though.
and I have a complete lack of...camera.
haha

I'll figure something out soon, I guess.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/19942900/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/19942900/ Fri, 15 Aug 2008 00:40:29 PDT I am down to it. One week left before I'm outta here.

Why, what should I do? Go do photos, you say!? of course.
haha

I've been dying to shoot with ~morbidaestheticx forever. I know these girls, they're pretty awesome. Today we managed to get together and run around taking some pictures. I had to say I had a fantastic time today and I'm trying to refrain from overloading my dA with new stuff.

I'm so pleased right now. I almost forgot I'm being shipped away next week.

Anyways, I'm off to edit and deprive myself of sleep for a while. I may as well get used to it.


-EDIT-
Here are some of the shots they uploaded on their page!:
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]
[link]

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/19567662/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/19567662/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:30:17 PDT Haha. I have been trying to get everything ready for school in August. This proves quite difficult, especially because I dealt with a month or so of issues with my insurance and now issues pertaining to some of my vaccinations. I had to get bloodwork done, etc. It's starting to suck.

Some of my stuff is already packed to go away, too. So I have these two big boxes invading the crap out of my space. Also, as I have this habit of throwing large picnics and other parties, I organized a formal gothic tea party, Low Tea, that is this Sunday. So I have this box full of tea cups, saucers, tea pots, etc.

I've been working a lot, too. I mean, two or three really long shifts a weekend. My last paycheck was good, this one is even better. If only I was able to not spend the money that was already in my account, it would be so much bigger now. Haha.

I can look forward to my bank account deflating, though, with purchasing stuff for my dorm and then buying books. I plan on being thoroughly broke soon. That and after the loans, hell, I'm already in debt! Right now! Haha.

These are my woes of August. Packing up my stuff, moving away, spending too much money, working a lot. This is summer, right? I barely noticed. Haha.

I have this feeling, though.
And epic deviation soon. I promise. Haha.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/19425663/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/19425663/ Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:20:56 PDT The biggest movie of the summer...of the year.
The Dark Knight.

Destroying the lives of theatre employees everywhere. Starting tomorrow.







Honestly.
I look forward to getting the crap beat out of me by work this weekend.



but on a lighter note, I bought a very wonderous and expensive corset today and some new shoes and stuff yesterday.
Thus the bank account shrinkage.

It will be worth it in the end.
Promise.


I'm going to go cry until I go to work, now.
haha


Wish me luck.
lots and lots of it.
please.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18665880/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18665880/ Wed, 04 Jun 2008 16:32:39 PDT I love dA, honestly, but I'm getting nowhere fast.

I'm not trying to get big and famous and be a dA star. I'm not trying to get a million hundred bajillion pageviews. I don't need a thousand faves.
But wtf?

It doesn't matter if I post something good, or a pile of garbage. The feedback is about the same. I get 4 views on something that's been up a year. I get 2 favorites every 5 months.
Before this last batch of pictures I put up that have actually done fairly well (by my standards here, obviously) I couldn't tell you the last time I got a comment that wasn't by someone I knew from school or something who was telling me that it was cute or something.

And it doesn't matter how hard I try, either. I've actually come a good way from when I started out, I'm not too horrible. I'm nowhere near fantastic, either. I actually think the stuff I have now is a lot better than before, it's not bad. Still, I get maybe 20 views on anything in weeks. A few favs within the first hour or two it's up.

Whatever I do doesn't seem to help. I've been trying to get out a be a little active, too. I already fav like a fiend, but I've been trying to go out and fav things I like out of the ordinary for me, broaden my horizons. I try to leave comments. I put up a news feature, as well. For the featured artists, the fact that I liked what I was featuring a lot, and to try to be more active and maybe lend myself a hand, too.

It all gets me nothing.
I'm a dA nothing. I may as well post my damn myspace photos and stop caring.
I get no positive feedback. HELL, I don't get any negative feedback. It'll be a cold day in hell when I get some real constructive criticism or something, at least within the next year (I think I've met my quota of 1 or 2 this year).

It's horribly frustrating and disappointing to see my efforts and my work and the things I'm proud of go for nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I'm extremely grateful to those who do support me, though. Those people who do take the time to look at my gallery, to make comments, to see something they like and fav it. Especially to those very few people who actually really like my stuff. I've been lucky enough to have a few people tell me they're surprised I'm not more popular. Thank you.

But, to this entire thing as a whole, eff you! I may be angry right now, but on the whole I'm disappointed in you. And the lack of anything I get in return for trying in turn makes me disappointed in myself.
Every time I put something up that I like, I try to believe it'll be a good one. I try to believe that this will be one that is great and I love it and I want to share it and I want everyone to like it, too.
And I get nothing for it.

it's like, if you're not on the front page, or any page, under ' popular '
no one cares about you
or your art

it's the story of my life.
I try. I give. I try so so hard.
And I never get anything but disappointment in myself.
Am I really that bad? Am I really not good enough?

Honestly.
I'm so tired of it.
That's how it's been, the other half of the story of my life.
I'm tired.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18499041/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18499041/ Sun, 25 May 2008 17:59:49 PDT Like, I don't hate the stuff, of course. I'm just having a really horribly difficult time getting it organized the way I like it and the way I want it to be.
I put everything in nice folders and stuff, but then the stuff as featured I like, but it's not really what I want in featured. I'm putting good stuff in folders and leaving the featured stuff as just..the rest.

I need to work on it.
However, it never fails to seriously frustrate me.


ugh.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18485538/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18485538/ Sat, 24 May 2008 20:48:25 PDT I'm uploading a lot of leg/feet pictures.
But I really like them, and they aren't difficult to take.

and I love to sit around and edit for hours.






that's about it.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18347565/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18347565/ Fri, 16 May 2008 06:49:41 PDT It's been green for a while, but it's so nice to see the color and to watch everything fill back in after winter and all of that brown and white.
And it's been a little wet, too, of course. So it gives me an excuse to wear my pea coat, which I really will make up reasons to wear on nice days.

BUT!
I was so ecstatic when I uploaded Peace, because I'm not that popular or that great and I'm always pleased to get, like, 20 views over a few weeks and maybe a fav here or there.
So when I got 60 views within the first 9 minutes and multiple other things, I was soooo excited.
I'm so happy.

So I'd thought I'd document it, and the greener scenery, in my journal, because I'm pumped.

I was actually thinking of making a series out of that idea. I already have a heart one, but I think I effed up the top and OF COURSE, I was in a rush before work yesterday and didn't save the psd, just the jpeg.
So I'm going to see what I can do to either clean it up or I'll just have to redo it.

Anyway, hopefully things continue with success! Thanks to everybody for all the support!

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18176531/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18176531/ Mon, 05 May 2008 07:13:48 PDT Latin.

I want to learn it.
I want to speak it.

I have no idea why, but that's just how things tend to work with me.
and I'll figure it out later.

School is winding down.
The year's coming to a close.
Work is winding up.
And it's gorgeous outside.

So much is going on.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18124644/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18124644/ Thu, 01 May 2008 20:52:07 PDT
]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18093352/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18093352/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 20:42:08 PDT Language.






and I've come to wish I was articulate.






Friends:




]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18043372/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18043372/ Sat, 26 Apr 2008 18:43:17 PDT
I'm always perpetually angry.

I almost fall asleep at the wheel on a nightly basis. I did for a few seconds last night, and changed lanes before coming to.

I enjoy the people who can be and are assholes, but only a certain kind. It's complicated, but the only thing you really need to know about this one is it always comes back to bite me in the ass.

I speak extravagantly. Not eloquently or elegantly in an extravagant way, I just have a way of exaggerating to get my point across. When I say I want to punch a baby, I don't really want to, it's just to convey to others just exactly how pissed off I am.

I explain things in depth too much and unnecessarily.

I hate existing in this world. I feel like some extraneous being that never wanted to come here in the first place.

Every morning, the first thing I think about is the time. Usually, "I fucking hate 6 am."

I thoroughly enjoy driving alone. Driving a lot, a long time, etc.

I've discovered through reading A Million Little pieces that I probably have the makings of a good drug addict, if there is such a thing. I'm perpetually angry about something; if I base it on my parents, I have a genetic predisposition to some kind of substance addiction/abuse, be it alcohol or otherwise; when I'm down, I just want to and wish I could obliterate those feelings, just somehow make them all disappear forever or a while.

On the way home from work, I utilize my free alone time to occasionally...pick my nose.
That was the hardest one to admit. It's kindof gross.




Goodnight.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18001566/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/18001566/ Thu, 24 Apr 2008 03:42:43 PDT and third, and fourth ones.

It never ends well. It never has.
I've tried to be benevolent, generous, trusting. I suppose I went a little too far.

I extended a final chance, the fourth. I put out everything.



It was thought over, accepted.
And it began anew, and he made quite sure to abolish every tiny piece of doubt I had left from the other 3 chances.

And then told me it was all a lie.




but once you get this far, even after all the doubt's been erased, it's hard to feel it for long.
It's glorious. It's horrid but it passes quickly.


I was generous enough to extend a fourth chance.
I had some faith.

No one should be able to lie like that.

Just another disgusting trait of a universe I despise with all the power within me.
I just want to go home already.
Get me out of this place.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/17891539/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/17891539/ Thu, 17 Apr 2008 06:09:34 PDT


It's pretty amazing.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/17753004/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/17753004/ Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:22:46 PDT I am going INSANE. The weather is perfect, I have nice new stuff, I'm pumped and in the mood to get some photos goingggggg. Srsly.


I'm crawling in my skin here. XD

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/17214757/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/17214757/ Thu, 06 Mar 2008 18:26:49 PST ShadowontheWall85.
<333

We did a quick little shoot after trekking to her favorite forest/field near her home.
We had unforseen adventures, like seeing deer and thinking they may try to kill us. Also, thinking about what if an escaped convict from the jail nearby happened to come by. Would he kill us or not?
We will never know.

Either way, we got a few good shots and it made me happy.
Very happy.
:]

Time to go blow my paycheck on raves and watercolor paint.
hellz yes.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/17076357/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/17076357/ Tue, 26 Feb 2008 16:03:42 PST to get a horrid allergic reaction to the medicine I was taking.

So it went from (what we thought was..) shingles..
to (actually being) hand-foot-and-mouth disease.
then the stuff I was being treated with for shingles...
gave me HORRIBLE hives.
so I'm on benadryl and some steroid shiz.

and I had about 2-3 healthy days.
and it's off to sore-throat land now.
:[

However, it is blizzarding right now.
Well, not completely, but it seems like it.

the TRM and I just took a trip to get some Pizza Hut.
We both got tired of looking in the fridge for the eighth time and realizing that no food magically appeared since the last time we looked.


I will end with this:
I love pizza.
Mmm.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/16860525/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/16860525/ Wed, 13 Feb 2008 08:21:08 PST
There's sooo much snow right now, it's ridiculous.
Within the past few days, I've spent more time with my dad than I have in the past few months combined.
I haven't really gone anywhere since I got home from work Sunday night.

Then again, I do have shingles.
They're extremely contagious.
If it was my choice, I'd be out 'accidentally' running into people.

Spreading the love, ya know?

I'm being forced to call off work tonight.
Not because of the poor state of the roads or horrid amounts of snow/ice on everything...
but because I had chicken pox when I was little.

Screw you, Varicella Zoster!!


I'm gonna go take some pain medication.
and eat more.
and call off work.




oh, and
still no photog.
still no camera.

booooo.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/16535271/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/16535271/ Wed, 23 Jan 2008 11:16:08 PST Unfathomably cold.
Cold beyond any region of cold your mind could comprehend.

So cold I'm outside at 6:30 am in a miniskirt trying to pry my car's frozen doors open with a screwdriver.

That's just how things manage to work out for me.
This is where I start to yearn for the beach.


Instead I'm here in PA, where it's cold and everyone goes to the movies at Cinemark.
We ushers roll deep at Cinemark.


Anyway, I'm not unmotivated.
I'm not without ideas.

I just don't have a camera.
Or know a real good photographer..who has their own camera.

So I'm just kindof..chilling.

]]> ~nockturnale http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/16301769/ http://nockturnale.deviantart.com/journal/16301769/ Mon, 07 Jan 2008 14:01:05 PST
Mounds and stacks of dirty, unkempt, stinking clothes.



Wash.
Rinse.
Spin.
Rinse.




60 minutes.
High heat.





It's a waiting game.

]]> ~nockturnale