http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:nyxdelux&section=today deviantART RSS for by:nyxdelux en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 05 Dec 2009 12:59:38 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/24767140/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/24767140/ Fri, 15 May 2009 09:18:36 PDT Rank1) Me. Because if I can't take care of myself and be happy with myself, than I can't care for and be happy with anyone else.
Rank2) Josh. He is my partner, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, my center, and basically an extension of myself.
Rank 3) My friends and family. My family (mainly my mother and step father) have done a great deal for me, and so have the individuals whom I keep close to me.

Now, on another note, I am, or try my very best to be as independent as possible. I don't need or ask much of people, I don't even necessarily enjoy being around people for extended periods of time (and that's anyone except Josh, which is obviously why I want to marry him....duh....). I like to figure out how to do things on my own, and most of the time, I like to be on my own. I AM NOT A TEAM PLAYER.
I'm not a typical girl, I don't enjoy shopping for clothes and underwear (unless I'm by myself), I hate having phone conversations, I don't like getting manicures and having my hair done, and I fucking hate the he said, she said bullshit highschool drama...
Next, and this is why the most of you will call me selfish, insensitive, and unkind... There is nothing in life, that I don't see as temporary...because life itself is temporary. So friendships, relationships, careers, EVERYTHING will some day end. Therefore, I don't see the point of any of those things becoming obstacles in the way of my future, my self actualization, and my goals as a person. When all else fails, and I have no one else, the only thing I will have, is myself, and if all I've ever done is live my life according to the expectations and desires of others, I will have NOTHING.
Some day, I will be gone from here. I will not longer live in the same place, or I might die the day after tomorrow when a semi runs me off the highway and my car flips over a guard rail... WHO KNOWS. So don't expect me to stick around forever and hold your hand through life, because I won't. The most important thing for me RIGHT NOW (because that is all there is), is being myself, being true to myself, and experiencing just that. I have my own agenda, my own goals, and nothing and no one can stand in my way and expect me to stop.
Again, another note....On expectations. As you all may know, I don't really have them. Not for my friends and family at least. If I give you 20 dollars, I don't expect it back, I give it because I can afford to at that particular moment. If I help you move on a balls ass hot sunday afternoon when I could be lounging by the pool side, rubbing sun tan lotion all over my sweaty skin, I don't expect you to do the same for me in return. But why not? Isn't that what friends do for each other? No, fuck that! Friends do shit for other friends because they want to make things easier for each other and because they want to be in each other's company. If you want to give me something back in return, I'm not gonna say no...but if you don't want to, I don't really give a shit. No friendship is based upon owing someone something....that isn't a friendship, or any kind of relationship that is in any way healthy....that's what's called a fucking BANK.
Ok, so there it is. That's me in a nutshell...Let me re-cap just in case you didn't get it the first time around...
1) ALL friends and family come after MYSELF and my relationship with Josh.
2) Don't be co-dependent on me, my opinions or the things I choose in life, because I won't be here forever.
3) I'm not gonna expect anything of you, so I hope you can extend me the same courtesy.

There you go...
I really don't know why the lot of you are friends with an egocentric, anti-social, insensitive individual such as myself, when my priorities are obviously not where some of you would like them to be.
But whatever, this is me....and either you like it, or you don't, that's entirely up to you.

Cheers

]]> ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/12625979/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/12625979/ Mon, 16 Apr 2007 22:25:21 PDT If I were a day of the week, I would be: Wednesday, right in the middle and I know I'm not hung over
If I were a time of day, I would be: 11 PM, party is just getting started
If I were a sea animal, I would be: A Baracuda, the wolves of the sea
If I were a direction, I would be: sideways
If I were a sin, I would be: Sloth
If I were a historical figure I would be: Jesus
If I were a planet, I would be: Pluto (I'd say the sun, but that's not a planet...)
If I were a liquid, I would be: mercury
If I were a stone, I would be: onyx
If I were a tree, I would be: A Willow
If I were a bird, I would be: An Osprey

If I were a flower/plant, I would be: Bird of Paradise flower
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: Sunny and warm, but not humid
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: A Chimera
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: A Grand Piano
If I were an animal, I would be: A Wolf
If I were a colour, I would be: Black
If I were an emotion, I would be: Love
If I were a vegetable, I would be: Who whould want that??
If I were a sound, I would be: A heart beat
If I were an element, I would be: Ether

If I were a song, I would be: Happy Phantom by Tori Amos
If I were a movie, I would be: One Perfect Day
If I were a book, I would be written by: George Orwell
If I were a food, I would be: German Pork Roast
If I were a place, I would be: A Secret Garden
If I were a taste, I would be: Sweet and lingering
If I were a scent, I would be: Spring rain
If I were a religion, I would be: Nonexistant
If I were a word, I would be: Ephemeral

If I were a body part, I would be: An eye
If I were a facial expression, I would be: Ò.ô
If I were a subject in school, I would be: Art
If I were a cartoon character, I would be: Tank Girl (Comic book char, but whatever...)
If I were a shape, I would be: a Rhombus
If I were a number, I would be: 667
If I were a piece of jewellery, I would be: An anklet
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: a Lazy-Boy
If I were a car, I would be: A Delorean
If I were an item of clothing, I would be: a garter belt

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]]> ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/10141912/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/10141912/ Thu, 21 Sep 2006 11:25:32 PDT ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/9773564/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/9773564/ Fri, 18 Aug 2006 15:52:37 PDT I re-pierced my labret... f*ck you Dustin, I did it first! ]]> ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/8347663/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/8347663/ Sun, 02 Apr 2006 20:34:19 PDT Media elite's last gasp effort to save crumbling empire

Paul Joseph Watson & Alex Jones/Prison Planet.com | March 16 2006

MySpace isn't cool, it isn't hip and it isn't trendy. It represents a cyber trojan horse and the media elite's last gasp effort to reclaim control of the Internet and sink it with a stranglehold of regulation, control and censorship.

Since Rupert Murdoch's $580 Million acquisition of MySpace in July 2005, it has come from total obscurity to now being the 8th most visited website in the world, receiving half as many page hits as Google, despite the fact that on first appearance it looks like a 5-year-old's picture scrap and scribble book.

MySpace is the new mobile phone. If you don't have a MySpace account then you belong to some kind of culturally shunned underclass.

What most of the trendy wendy's remain blissfully unaware of is the fact that MySpace is Rupert Murdoch's battle axe for shaping a future Internet environment whereby electronic dissent, whether it be against corporations or government, will not tolerated and freedom of e-speech will cease to exist.

MySpace has been caught shutting down blogs critical of itself and other Murdoch owned companies. They even had the audacity to censor links to completely different websites when clicking through for MySpace. When 600 MySpace users complained, MySpace deleted the blog forum that the complaints were posted on. Taking their inspiration from Communist China, MySpace regularly uses blanket censorship to block out words like 'God'.

Earlier this week Rupert Murdoch sounded the death knell for conventional forms of media in stating that the media elite were losing their monopoly to the rapid and free spread of new communication technologies. Murdoch stressed the need to regain control of these outlets in order to prevent the establishment media empire from crumbling.

MySpace is Rupert Murdoch's trojan horse for destroying free speech on the Internet. It is a foundational keystone of the first wave of the state's backlash to the damage that a free and open Internet has done to their organs of propaganda. By firstly making it cool, trendy and culturally elite for millions to flock to establishment controlled Internet backbones like MySpace, Murdoch is preparing the groundwork for the day when it will stop being voluntary and become mandatory to use government and corporate monopoly controlled Internet hubs.

The end game is a system similar to or worse than China, whereby no websites even mildly critical of the government will be authorized.

The Pentagon admitted that they would engage in psychological warfare and cyber attacks on 'enemy' Internet websites in an attempt to shut them down. The fact that the NSA surveillance program spied on 5,000 Americans tells us that the enemy is the alternative media and that it will be targeted for elimination. Google has been ordered to turn over information about its users by a judge to the US government.

The second wave of destroying freedom of speech online will simply attempt to price people out of using the conventional Internet and force people over to Internet 2, a state regulated hub where permission will need to be obtained directly from an FCC or government bureau to set up a website.

The original Internet will then be turned into a mass surveillance database and marketing tool. The Nation magazine reported, "Verizon, Comcast, Bell South and other communications giants are developing strategies that would track and store information on our every move in cyberspace in a vast data-collection and marketing system, the scope of which could rival the National Security Agency. According to white papers now being circulated in the cable, telephone and telecommunications industries, those with the deepest pockets--corporations, special-interest groups and major advertisers--would get preferred treatment. Content from these providers would have first priority on our computer and television screens, while information seen as undesirable, such as peer-to-peer communications, could be relegated to a slow lane or simply shut out."

The original Internet will deliberately be subject to crash upon crash until it becomes a useless carcass of overpriced trash and its reputation will be defiled by the TV and media barons cashing in on the perfectly streamlined Internet 2, the free for all network that just requires you to thumbscan in order to log on! Those with a security grading below yellow on their national ID card will unfortunately be refused access. Websites that carry hate speech (ones that talk about government corruption) will be censored for the betterment of society.

For the aspiring dictator, the Internet is a dangerous tool that has been seized by the enemy.... ]]> ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/7981431/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/7981431/ Thu, 23 Feb 2006 14:05:36 PST how the perfect satisfaction
of all our sexual wanting
will look, lift your face
and say,

Like this.

When someone mentions the gracefulness
of the night sky, climb up on the roof
and dance and say,

Like this.

If anyone wants to know what "spirit" is,
or what "God’s fragrance" means,
lean your head toward him or her.
Keep your face there close.

Like this.

When someone quotes the old poetic image
about clouds gradually uncovering the moon,
slowly loosen knot by knot the strings
of your robe.

Like this.

If anyone wonders how Jesus raised the dead,
don’t try to explain the miracle.
Kiss me on the lips.

Like this. Like this.

When someone asks what it means
to "die for love," point
here.

If someone asks how tall I am, frown
and measure with your fingers the space
between the creases on your forehead.

This tall.

The soul sometimes leaves the body, the returns.
When someone doesn’t believe that,
walk back into my house.

Like this.

When lovers moan,
they’re telling our story.

Like this.

I am a sky where spirits live.
Stare into this deepening blue,
while the breeze says a secret.

Like this.

When someone asks what there is to do,
light the candle in his hand.

Like this.

How did Joseph’s scent come to Jacob?


Hooo.

How did Jacob’s sight return?



Hooo.

A little wind cleans the eyes.

Like this.

When Shams comes back from Tabriz,
he’ll put just his head around the edge
of the door to surprise us

Like this.

----------------------------------------------------
a poem by a good friend of mine, Mike Jurca
[link] ]]> ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/7895375/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/7895375/ Tue, 14 Feb 2006 13:11:40 PST .<...I feel like a bird or something...a Kiwi even!
I think I bombed my Exam yesterday...but hey...not everyone is good at writing essays...bleh. At least not about international politics...thats just not my thing. But yeeeah...poofy hair and V-day... Happy V-Day everyone. The damn shift key on this computer sticks....grrr
Anyway, I'm happy that Josh is coming back tonight though....I've been watching Disney movies and studying for that exam all weekend...I don't think I can handle any more Disney. Other than that, the weather is super nice today, still a tiny bit chilly, but almost perfect. If it stays nice this weekend, I might go ride my fuzzy horse. But I really don't feel like chasing him accross a soggy cow pasture...so nice weather is a must...aaaaanyway, I'mma hop off here...
Later guys

*POOF* ]]> ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/7752657/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/7752657/ Mon, 30 Jan 2006 15:08:27 PST I'm calling softly from the street
always a lonely widow,
half-awake and sleeping on my feet.
I'm of age but have no children,
no quarter phone booth calls to home,
just late with television
inside my bedroom all alone.
Ooohhh ahh ohhh ohhh ohhh

There is no use in waiting
offer up your steps so I can climb,
show me all your figure paintings
etched in the middle of the night.
Let me stretch upon your carpet,
let me hear the rain tap on your street
knowing I am safe on the inside
blankets wrapped and drifting off to sleep."

-Neutral Milk Hotel - "April 8th"

----------------------------------------------------------------

I dont worry about where i am headed. I worry about those who dont know its time to go.

Imagine, if you will, that you live to 90.
90 years.
You'll be lucky.
90 years is an unusual span.
Most don't even make it to 70. Some even pop off at 60 or their mid 50's if they really mug themselves out.
But statistically speaking you'd get away with about 71 - 72.
But lets for the sake of argument say that you live to 90.
Now, Multiply that by 365.
You get 32,850. Thats it.
That's your entire life.
Less than 33 thousand days.
And it gets worse
Subtract 3,650 from that.
That's the ten years you don't really live. 4 in the beginning and 6 at the end.
You're now down to 29,200
So now there's 24 hour days and we all have to sleep; some more than others but the average is 8 hours a night. So say goodbye to a third of your 29,200.
You're now down to 19, 466 days.
Less than 3 thousand weeks.
2,790 to be exact…

So…what did you do this week?

-Nyx ]]> ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/7713899/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/7713899/ Thu, 26 Jan 2006 13:34:09 PST So I'll just have to copy and paste, and mail it so myself...and when it arrives, I'll smash it with a hammer!!! Its BRILLIANT! BRILLIANT I TELL YOU!!!
Josh is 21...happy birthday Josh. *waves a little flag and throws some confetti*

Damn it, I've drawn so much crap and I wanna stick it on here, but NOO!!! Hmph... Soon...soon I will have everything I need...and I will make it, out of this tooth pick, this rubber band, a paper clip, and a piece of gum!

Blergh. Well, I better get to writng that paper...i've done enough stalling...

P.S. Chuck Norris shaves by kicking himself in the face because the only thing that can cut Chuck Norris, is Chuck Norris.

*POOF* ]]> ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/7713897/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/7713897/ Thu, 26 Jan 2006 13:33:43 PST ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/7713885/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/7713885/ Thu, 26 Jan 2006 13:32:11 PST ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/6731820/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/6731820/ Mon, 10 Oct 2005 15:56:45 PDT I'm once again a jobless whore....but hey, jobs come and go...much like everything else. Wellll....I'm gonna go and do some laundry...and shower or something....wash the floors, vacuum the dishes...water the crack and smoke the ficus...maybe even laminate the Bar B Q....who knows, I'll find something to do. Ta ta! ]]> ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/6546964/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/6546964/ Mon, 19 Sep 2005 15:19:15 PDT Woof woof I say to you. A bisquit, thank you.


ZEAK AND TWIST KICK ASS! ]]> ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/2078277/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/2078277/ Wed, 24 Mar 2004 19:13:14 PST I'm hosting a Battle Royale online RPG on my website, so everyone who is interested in playing should come check it out...and even if you don't know what it is....check it out anyway...if you like what you see, sign up and Join our happy little goup. But signups end this friday because thats when I'm starting the game...so HURRY!!!!
~Nyx ]]> ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/1834853/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/1834853/ Thu, 12 Feb 2004 18:05:55 PST ~nyxdelux http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/1800411/ http://nyxdelux.deviantart.com/journal/1800411/ Thu, 05 Feb 2004 19:06:43 PST ~nyxdelux