I can't believe that today is Thanksgiving. It seems too soon. Along with Thanksgiving comes my birthday; I'll be seventeen in four days! I'm rather excited about this one. Sixteen and previous were a bit boring, but hopefully this one will be good. To add to my excitement, I saw the musical Wicked last night with my best friend, and it was amazing. I had seen it once previous, but last night's performance was fabbbbulous. Overall, things are looking up... minus the snow that is in the weather forecast. ):

Over the last few weeks, I've come to realize what is important to me. I've grown closer to the things, and most importantly the people, who made that list. I've been taking too much for granted, and that needs to change. I'm going to bury myself in my art again as soon as I have the time to do so. My college finals finish on December 7th, and after then I'm going to take a serious look at a new camera (and I'll hopefully own a new lens by then too, but that's an entirely different, not to mention secret, story (; ). I think that I'm going to buy the Nikon D300. The D700 is too large of an investment right now.

On a somewhat different note, I have a question for all Mac users out there. Is the Macbook a worthy investment? Not the Pro, and not the Air, just the regular Macbook. $999 is about as much as I can afford to blow on a laptop. I really need one, though. It would make my school work 100 times easier, not to mention I'm just dying to own one. I currently have a PC desktop, but I spent a good amount of time in my college's fancy Maclab (27 inch duel-monitors, amazzzzzzing) and since then I've fallen under the Mac lab. A lot of people where I work say that they're superior to a PC, too, but I'd love some feedback from the dA community! So please, if you use a Macbook (or have used one), let me know what you think of it!

I hope that everyone has a great holiday! Much love.

I haven't been uploading as much as I'd like to be. Frankly, I haven't been shooting as much as I'd like to be. Summer is over, and that means that the day will soon be shortening. Add that in with my hectic school and work balancing act, and I'm not sure that I'll be getting much of anything shot this winter. It's unfortunate, and I'm going to do my best to prove myself wrong, but that is my prediction. I apologize a million times over to any watches who I currently may be letting down.

Albeit, the type of photography that really gave me a place on this website has, unfortunately, slipped out of my reach. I'm sure that all of my watchers have noticed that I very seldom take equine photographs anymore. I've stopped riding, and as a result, lost my connections for photographs. I miss it every day, but my priorities have changed.. in ways that no longer accommodate riding. Hopefully, as soon as work has given me enough to purchase a new camera, I'll be able to set aside a day during the week to re-start lessons. But at this point, I'm not sure if I even possess enough true motivation to start riding again. Hell, I'm not sure that I want to spend my hard-earned money on lessons. In general, horses have left my life. It's a bitch, let me tell you.

Anyway, I guess that I've been losing touch with everything recently. Horses and photography have always gone hand-in-hand for me, and with the loss of one, I feel as if I'm losing the other. I cannot afford to let photography slip away from my reach. I love it too much to give up. I will motivate myself to take photos, and I will not fail. Thank you to everyone who has continuously supported me over the last two years.

Hi guys!

I don't have a whole lot to say today, but there is one thing that I'm definitely excited about. I recently entered dA's latest Photojournalism contest called "LIFE", and one of my entries has been chosen to go on to the semi-finals. I'm extremely happy that my photo was even considered, and I hope that other deviants like it enough to vote for it! (; My piece was chosen by ^estudio to go through, and for that I'm really grateful.

If you're interested in viewing/ supporting the contest, check out ^estudio's latest journal entry by clicking here.



I hope that everyone is having a good holiday weekend (or regular weekend if Labor Day isn't your thing)!

Niki

Hello! I thought that it was about time to make another journal.

Last night I was fortunate enough to attend The Fray's Cleveland appearance at the Tower City Amphitheater, and needless to say, I was blown away. Coming from someone who doesn't usually rave about most live music, I had a fantastic time, and the music was phenomenal. Jack's Mannequin opened, and their performance was ridiculously good (not to mention I battled some girl for a guitar pick thrown into the crowd by bassist Jonathan Sullivan, and won, may I add). I managed to get his autograph later on, too. (: But of course, The Fray blew everyone else away with their fantastic performance and kickass light show. My friends and I had third row, center stage (despite the fact that I was being jostled by a big, swaying drunk man, the location was fabulous). I would definitely see them again if the opportunity presented itself. Seeing this concert has definitely increased my level of anticipation for Jason Mraz in August; and who knows, maybe I'll be buying tickets to more shows now that I've revisited the whole "show scene".

Anyway, starting this weekend (July forth, to be exact), one of my area's largest horse shows rolls into action. It'll be a week of non-stop A-rated fun, and I'm gonna be there taking photos without delay. And of course, the week ends with The Cleveland Grand Prix, which is where I've taken some personal favorite photographs. This will be my third year shooting it. I'm pretty damn excited.

Last but surely not least, I need some lens advice from Nikon photographers. I'm not looking to but at this exact moment, considering the fact that I'm pretty much broke, but I am willing to try to rent. You know, test drive the vehicle before you sign on the dotted line. I'm looking for "fast glass", preferably with a low aperture, and that is known to shoot well in low-light. I've read some online reviews concerning the Nikon 18-70mm, and also the Nikon 50mm f/1.4 (which I think I'm leaning towards); but, I'd still really appreciate any feedback that you may have. Does anybody shoot with/ have experience with either of those two lenses? Or, better yet, do you know of a lens that fits my requirements that wasn't mentioned? Please, let me know. (:

Hello guys!

The 3rd was my last day of tenth grade! I'm extremely excited to be finished with this year, because next year I'll be taking most of my courses at a local state college. But as summer arrives, that means that I'll be spending more of my time at the restaurant where I work. But I can't really say anything negative about making money, now can I? (; It simply takes me closer to my goal of a Nikon D700!

Also, as my 30,000th page view grows nearer, I want to let you all know that if you catch it, you can choose any photograph in my gallery and I will ship it to your front door. (: So, with that being said, keep your eyes open!

Edit: My 30,000th page view was captured by two people, =Exceptional-Equine and *yerlix! I didn't even know that was possible xD, but congrats, and thank you! (:

PS.- Happy birthday, Joe!

I hope that everyone is doing well.

Summer is in the air, and despite how much I'd love to be outside taking as many photos as humanly possible (not to mention as many as my memory cards can hold), I've been spending a lot of time cooped up inside... studying. Finals are going to be the death of me if I don't get great grades, so I'm devoting 90% of my time to them. The other 10% is, of course, devoted to working, sleeping, and eating. Especially the sleeping and eating portion. (: I can't wait for the school year to be over. June third cannot come quickly enough.

Also, I was surprised with the news of receiving a car last night! It won't come until tomorrow, but I'm content just being extremely excited in the meantime. I'm bound to waste a lot of gas crusin' around the first day. (; Oh yeah, it is a 2005 red Pontiac Vibe! Not too shabby, aye? (:

I hope everyone is doing well. Get out and enjoy the sunshine!



PS- GO CAVS!

Today is a reallyfuckinghappy day. I received my second Daily Deviation award, and I am ecstatic, surprised, and grateful all at the same time. The photo featured is You make me melt, and although I never expected it to receive such a great response, nevertheless I am excited to see so many people enjoy it! They must, considering my feature! (;

So, to all who have been there by my side since the beginning of my two years on this website, and those who have just recently encountered my work, I extend my most sincere thanks. Without your feedback and support, my photography would be much less than it is now.

Also, thank you to =JacquiJax for suggesting, and ^Helewidis for featuring me! It means so much. Oh, and I can't forget Payton (picturize), who texted me and told me to log on. ANND my stomach flu, which granted me the opportunity to leave school early so that I actually could. xD

I hope everyone else has a great day! But, if you'll excuse me, I have 310 messages to check. (;

Peace

First off, thanks so much for the faves on my most recent deviation, YOU MAKE ME MELT. I logged in today to find sixty-six messages waiting for me, which is the most I've had in a while, so it was a very pleasant and unexpected surprise. I honestly didn't expect the response to that particular photo that it's been receiving, but it's great to know that people like it! If I don't thank you personally for a favorite on your page, I'm sorry, I'm doing my best to keep up. xD

Having that picture fresh in my head makes me miss show season. I want spring to come around so that I can take more horse show photos. Hopefully I'll have some sort of car by summer, too, so I won't have to rely so much on my parents to cart me from barn to barn.

I've been sick recently (like fever of 102 degrees sick), but I'm pretty much better now. Thank god, because it sucked. (;

First off, thanks so much for the faves on my most recent deviation, YOU MAKE ME MELT. I logged in today to find sixty-six messages waiting for me today, which is the most I've had in a while, so it was a very pleasant and unexpected surprise. I honestly didn't expect the response to that particular photo that it's been receiving, but it's great to know that people like it! If I don't thank you personally for a favorite on your page, I'm sorry, I'm doing my best to keep up. xD

Having that picture fresh in my head makes me miss show season. I want spring to come around so that I can take more horse show photos. Hopefully I'll have some sort of car by summer, too, so I won't have to rely so much on my parents to cart me from barn to barn.

I've been sick recently (like fever of 102 degrees sick), but I'm pretty much better now. Thank god, because it sucked. (;

stolen from

THE CRAZY TEST

[x] You have screamed at an inanimate object for “hurting you"
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[x] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, and then people gave you weird looks.
[x] You have run into a tree/bush.
[x] You have been called a blond

TOTAL: 5 (well, at least I'm off to a good start. -__-)

[ ] you know that it IS possible to lick your elbow
[ ] You just tried to lick your elbow
[x] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same melody.
[x] You just sang them to make sure.
[x] You have tripped on your own feet and fallen
[x] You have choked on your own spit

TOTAL: 4

[ ] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it
[ ] You type with three fingers or less
[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose.
[x] You have caught yourself drooling

TOTAL: 2

[x] You have fallen asleep in class
[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking.
[x] Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you are talking about
[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you
[ ] You are told to use your ‘inside voice’

TOTAL: 3

[x] You use your fingers to do simple math
[x] You have eaten a bug accidentally
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it
[x] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time.

TOTAL: 5 (counts up total on fingers)

[ ] You have posted bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen if you don’t
[x] You break a lot of things.
[x] You tilt your head when you’re confused.
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before.
[x] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
[x] The word “um” is used frequently.
[ ] You don’t know what “um” means
[ ] You say “what” and “huh” a lot.
[ ] You plan to use a calculator to multiply your score for this bulletin. (nope! my fingers!)

TOTAL: 6

GRAND TOTAL: 25 out of 35, meaning I'm 72% crazy
Why doesn't that surprise me?..

What now? That's right: you'd better stay off of the roads, because I passed my driving test yesterday, and I am now a legal automobile operator in the state of Ohio! (: (: It's a shame that the weather is so horrible, because I wasn't able to drive on my own anywhere after I passed yesterday. My parents, needless to say, are still horrified at the idea of handing me a car. xD I'll need to start saving for my own.

My midterm testing starts tomorrow. D: I also have a test, on top if it all, in my English class concerning the book, The Inferno. I enjoyed the book, but I'm not enjoying memorizing every circle of hell, including Bolgias and punishments, AND having to know ninety percent of the characters, too. =/

Even though it is technically thirty three minutes after midnight, I still feel obligated to wish everyone on DeviantART a Merry Christmas! If you don't celebrate Christmas, then I sincerely hope that December 25th was a fantastically ordinary Thursday. Also, my friends Meri and Jill (somedayx, Jill Sahner Photography) celebrated their birthdays today, also. So, congrats!

I had a good Christmas this year: probably one of the best I've had in a while. I celebrated Christmas Eve at my cousin's house, where we played Cranium WOW and Hooplah for hours on end. Of course, my sister, cousin Jason, and I dominated the board games (even winning without giving the incorrect question once). (: Before my cousin could even read off the question, my cousin Jason yelled out 'Mount Rushmore', and as freaky as it is, that was the right answer! It was insanity, I tell you. (; As for my Christmas day, I opened presents, ate a fantastic lamb dinner, and then went to spend the night with my sister's boyfriend's hilarious family.

I'm so excited, because Santa gave me a wireless remote controller for my D40, so I can now take a lot more self-portraits, and exposure shots without having to worry about self-timers or nudging the camera when I release the shutter! ((: He also left me an iHome, which I'm currently having a love obsession with. I haven't shut it off yet!


I hope that you're all well, and that you're planning a great way to spend the last few days of 2008!

-Niki

I haven't been myself lately. Pressure and insecurities sure do know exactly how to break someone down.

And I have a question for the human race: What happened to you? What ever became of originality and sincerity? I'd love to know.

Winter sure does suck.
I wish that I could take some photos. =/

Everyone should give Payton > [link] < sixteen well-deserved punches for her birthday, which just so happens to be tomorrow! (:




I'm two days older, sir! HAH.
Finally, I'm sixteen myself. ((:





Anyways.
Have a good one, bud.

For the first time since the beginning of the summer, I got back in the saddle today. It was by far, the most outstanding feeling. I've missed it, but I didn't realize just how much. Although, let me tell you, I am so out of riding shape, haha.

But my oh my, I really like the barn that I found. It's about five miles down my road (about as far as my last barn was, just in the opposite direction), very old-school-vintage style, and it has an amazing forty horses, with the ability to hold seventy or so. I was in awe, considering that the last place I rode at had about twenty stalls! haha. Just because of my own personal preferences, I liked the fact that the people were very laid back and the barn wasn't primped and spotless. I mean, the isle ways are dirt, and yes there are some cobwebs, but who cares? It's a barn, people, that's what it should be!

I rode my definition of the best-looking horse, too. His name is Walker (I know, right? haha), a sixteen years old, sixteen hand tall, black, American Quarter Horse. (: Before he became a lesson horse, he was a cow horse, so when I decide to join in the barn's team penning program, hopefully I'll be able to use him. (: Anyway, I didn't take a lesson, but instead rode on my own for an hour before the barn's team 4-H club meeting (I'm now a member of that, too). Let me tell you, though, a western saddle is a different thing! haha. I had a bit of an issue sitting the trot without my legs swinging, but Walker's canter was SO smooth. All in all, I absolutely loved riding that horse. I didn't want the hour to end.

One of my best friends rides there, she has for something like nine years now, hah. SO, that's an amazing factor because we get to hang out a lot more than we would normally because of the fact that she lives far away, in the opposite direction that I do when you leave the barn. =/ AAANDD, my friend Veronica, who is pictured in my gallery a few times with the horse she leases named Goose is going to try this barn out, too, so if I'm lucky, I'll be riding with two of my close friends! (:

But the overall best part about this barn is it's prices. They offer both english and western lessons (including jumping, contesting, and just plain flat work), at the prices are the cheapest that I've ever seen in my area. For an hour group lesson, it's $23, for a 45min semi-private, it's $24, and for a half-hour private, it's $25. And you can also ride whenever you want for $25. (: Oh, and through the 4-H club, I'll be able to ride every other month for the "ride meeting", and get to show all of fair week for a really, really good price (like, not over $150)!

Anyway, my rant is over. I'll hopefully get a picture of Walker up soon, for anyone who cares to see the beast that completely completed my week.

Well, I'm back from Florida! I had an amazing time. We spent a portion of our time in Naples, which was a beautiful town, both architecturally and weather wise, and then we headed off to Orlando to spend two days at Disney World. I'd never even been down South, so being able to experience both the beaches of the Gulf of Mexico AND Disney was freaking amazing. Frankly, I'm ready to go back right now, haha, but by plane, not in a car. I don't think I can handle another sixteen hour car ride, to be completely honest.

We were extremely fortunate at Disney World, and we were upgraded from a normal room in the Beach Club Resort to one of their Presidential Suites, and they covered the charge of the room, plus our meals. The gesture was all to honor the member of the family I went with that is being deployed to Egypt tomorrow for the U.S. army. It was such a nice thing for Disney to do for the family, and plus, it was just so extremely kick ass that we got that amazing of an upgrade. WOW.

I'll be extremely slow getting Florida pictures up. I have a lot that are worth sharing, but I'm so busy right now with school, my website, and planning to get back into horseback riding, that my time is very very limited in Photoshop at the moment. Although I do have one photo up already, and it has to be one of my favorite shots from the trip! (I wish that I could put a thumbnail in here to that very picture, but unfortunately, my subscription has worn out! D: I need to have that fixed.)

[link] < New York City from space. 9/11/01.

I feel that it's necessary for me to write about the terrorist attacks on the United States' World Trade Center Twin Towers on September 11th, 2001. That horrific day in American history is being remembered and honored on it's seventh anniversary today.

As a small child, I remember the unease that inhabited my household that September afternoon seven years ago. I was in the third grade when al-Qaeda flew the first, then second, commercial airline into the Twin Towers; and at such a young age, I could not yet comprehend the magnitude of what had occurred in New York. I remember noticing that my mother had tears in her eyes, and even if I didn't exactly understand why she was so emotional about the attack of these so-called terrorists, I knew that something immense had happened. It was something that I, too, should care about, and ever since then, I have done just that. Today, as I reviewed a Time Magazine from 2001, my sense of patriotism was through the roof; for as I stared at an imagine of men and women free-falling from five hundred feet in the air, driven to jump out of the burning building's windows by fear, now plummeting to their assured deaths, my heart could do nothing more than ache.

Before then, most Americans, especially the youth of our nation, did not know of terrorists or al-Qaeda, anthrax, or the combination of emotions strong enough to make all Americans stop and stand together, hand in hand, united as a whole because of the terror that had just struck. Although as the next week passed after the attack, we were all taught those very things. For months, the nation was on edge. Were we going to go to war? Were the terrorists going to bomb the United States again? What plane was going to nose-dive next? Although, all-in-all, the attacks on the United States that day brought us together. We learned a lot from that fateful day, and it's events did not weaken us, but instead, made us stronger.

I ask for you to simply remember and respect the memories of those lost in the attacks of September 11th in the Twin Towers, along with the Pentagon. Think of the number of families that were affected by that day, the mothers and father, uncles and aunts, grandparents, and children, all taken so selfishly away from those who loved them.

Always remember: September 11th, 2001.

[link] < SHATTERED.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go.
I'll be back from Florida on the 22nd.
Until then..

<sup>Guess what?
I'm going to learn to barrel race. (:
So long, hunt seat, hello, western!

NEW! Want even more exciting news about my life?!
-faint-
-drool-
-foam-
I'm going to Florida for the first time in my life next week!
Disney! The beaches! POSSIBLY A HURRICANE! What more is there to ask for?!
Photosssss galore.
I am so completely excited and shocked that I'm going, I can't even put it into words.
Okay, I'm done with this update!
PEACE.

-twitch-</sup>

Hello everyone. (:

I have just a few quick updates for those who may, or may not, be interested in my life.

First, I went canoing today, and it was crazy fun, even if I am pretty sick. Despite the fact that the people who rented us the canoes basically dropped us off and left us to fend for ourself without teaching us how to survive in a canoe, I had a ton of fun. My friend and I figured out what we were doing pretty quick, and overall, I'd give our performance a seven out of ten. Although, I'm not going to lie, seven miles of paddling wiped me out. I was ready for the whole thing to be over about 5 miles in. My friends thought it would be hilarious to "pirate raid" our canoe multiple times, so I got completely drenched when it tipped over and I went flying to the bottom of the river... but it felt really good seeing as though it was eighty-eighty degrees out. oO "Pirate raiding", by the way, is basically coming up next to us and jumping into our canoe, rocking it back and forth, waiting until we fell out, and then going back into their own canoe and leaving us to fend for ourselves. xD I can't wait to go again, I think that I'll take my SLR this time, because the stretch of river was extremely scenic. It totally didn't look like Ohio.

Also, I don't know if any other Twilight fans are out there reading this, but Breaking Dawn is TWO DAYS AWAY! Don't expect me to even sign on August second. I have a date with Edward Cullen.

I miss riding terribly. I haven't rode in a month? maybe.. I need to work the nerve up to go and talk to the people down my street again who just moved into the barn that had been vacant for a year or so. They have all leopard Appaloosas and a Gypsy Vanner, too. oO I wish that I wasn't shy.

Update: Hey guys.. I finished editing photos from the Grand Prix, but I don't want to update all of them onto my Deviantart. So here's where I need your help! (: Please visit my flickr and let me know which of the photos there you'd like to see on my Deviantart account. I'd also love some love on my flickr account, which is feebly pathetic and under-used, because I lack the skill/ patience/ time to learn how it all goes. Anywho.. help me out! Thanks!

--------

Today was the day I've been waiting for all year, because today was the $50,000 Cleveland Grand Prix, and jeez was it amazing! I took pictures at this same event last year, as many of you already know, and I'm pleased to say that my pictures turned out even better than last year! (: It was amazing to watch, and I could go back and see it again right now without a glance back, heh. I'm so happy that Margie Engle, one of my favorite riders ever, won the whole thing! Actually, she one both first and second place, because of the fact that two of her horses kicked ass. (;

The pictures from the event should be up soon! : D

Update! I hit 18,000 page views today! Thanks all of the unconditional support, you guys!

I've decided to leave Deviantart once and for all, because that just seems like the best thing to do right now. Plus, I mean, everyone else is doing it. Syyyyyyyccc!

I'm just kidding. I am going absolutely nowhere. (:

But it does seem like basically everyone else is beginning to pick up their things and leave. At least, in the equine photography realm of this place. First we lost Jen, then Jill, and now Payton and Jaye. D: All of the 'originals' are leaving! -legasp- I miss everyone already. But for the time being, Deviantart.com will continue to rule my life. (:

I have some exciting events coming up in the next week. Starting tomorrow, I'll be going on vacation with my family to Sandusky, OH (so far away, right? haha). But it's a place that we've been vacationing at for almost thirteen years now, so it's basically the highlight of my year. We'll be cottaging right on the lake. I see a lot of pictures coming from this trip. (: And also, the day that we get back from vacation is the day of the great Cleveland Grand Prix! (Even though I'll be missing the whole week of horse showing before the Prix, I'm at least lucky enough to catch this one!) This is the same Grand Prix that some of my highest viewed photos came from. Such as, Over and Over.

I'll see you all when I get back! Have a good week!

Hello out there! It's been almost a month since I've made an update, so I decided that it was time to do so. (:

I will be attending local horse shows as much as possible starting in the next week or two, hopefully. I've missed almost a whole month of showing for a few complicated reasons, but I'm more than ready to grab my camera gear and get out there again! It's been too long, really.

I also apologize for the lack of updates recently. I haven't had very much inspiration lately to take photos, and the lack of sunshine for almost two weeks now hasn't helped much. Rain has been in the forecast far too often lately. =/ But hopefully things will look up soon, because I'm sick of this crap! ha.

On a personal note, I'm no longer working at the barn I was during the winter and through spring. Things sort of deteriorated.. but all in all, the opportunity slipped through my fingers. =/ On a better note, though, the barn at the end of my street is no longer vacant, and I met with the owner the other day about possibly working and riding there. She was really, really friendly, and she's also very connected with the big show stables in my area. This may be my ticket in. (: Wish me luck.


See you soon.
-Niki

School is out, and I am finally free of all the binds that tied me down during the school year. This means that I'll be taking loads more pictures. Also, I'm going to start shooting horse shows either this weekend or the next. My website is making huge progress, thanks to my dad for all of the help that he's giving me, and it will probably be officially up in the next week. Keep an eye out for new stuff from me. (: And happy summer!

Rules:

1.Put your music player on "random." Skip songs with not-very interesting titles (such as "Concerto #4 in E minor")
2. List the titles of the first 25 songs to come up.
3. Put "in my pants" after each title.
4. Bold the ones that actually made you laugh

1. as long as you're mine in my pants
2. reaching in my pants
3. colorful in my pants
4. center of attention in my pants
5. kick push in my pants
6. with you tonight in my pants
7. decided to break it in my pants
8. if looks could kill in my pants
9. you in a song in my pants
10. save us in my pants
11. warm whispers in my pants
12. irvine in my pants
13. agoraphobia in my pants
14. come undone in my pants
15. sweet avenue in my pants
16. falling star in my pants
17. good vibrations in my pants
18. beautiful life in my pants
19. undeniable in my pants
20. battles in my pants
21. breath in my pants
22. vindicated in my pants
23. wow, i can get sexual too in my pants
24. 0% interest in my pants
25. makes me happy in my pants


That was fun. (:

<sup>"Ten bucks says you don't have it in you to conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to."

I am utterly in love with The Spill Canvas' song, Dutch Courage. It just sums up a lot of people that I know completely, and never fails to make me smile. I also really, really love the sunshine. It's been rainy for the last few days, and it was beginning to seem as if we were stuck in an everlasting gloomy day, but today the sun came back out. (: Thank God, because those ugly days were beginning to effect me. And my friends, I love them, too. Honestly, I'm at the peak of my happiness right now. Which, in a way, should not be allowed, considering what is happening with school, work, and personal things... but I just can't help but smile.

I will confess that I don't feel exactly like myself, but I don't despise this newfound person. In fact, I think that I like her. She's fun, and involved, and there. Fuckingfinally.

I hope everyone is doing well. (: - Niki

"At least I'm not a liar, at least I'm not a cheat, at least I don't care what these god damn mindless people think of me."</sup>

<sup>Helllllooo. *digitalvagrant tagged me in her latest Journal. So now, you all are granted the pleasure of watch me ramble. (:


1) Being in a room, it doesn't matter what room it is — my bedroom, a classroom, someone else's kitchen — the door HAS to be closed. I don't know why, but I'm starting to make my mom concerned that I may have OCD. xD
2) I like to sleep during thunderstorms.
3) I know practically all of the words to almost all of the songs in High School Musical II. (:
4) Instead of putting pepper on my french fries, I put it in my ketchup.
5) I've been told by numerous people that I am the master at making hideous faces on command. Be jealous.
6) One time, I reached across the table at Bob Evans to see the desert menu, and ended up punching a full glass of ice tea onto our waitress. My friend sprayed his own drink out of his nose and onto my other friend's food.
7) I am HORRIBLE at talking in front of people (yes, even worse than you, Payton! Haha). The last time that I had to talk in front of a group of people was in my eight grade health class, and I was sweating at the end of the five minutes. xD
8) One of my pastimes in writing.


Now, I have to go do my hair and go to my choir concert. Please, somebody shoot me.

I tag you:




1. Post these rules.
2. Each person tagged must post 8 random facts about themselves
3. Tags should write a journal/ blog of these facts
4. At the end of the post 8 more persons are tagged and named
5. Go to their page and leave a comment telling them they're tagged</sup>

I can not even put into words how extremely happy I am about receiving my first Daily Deviation! I wish that I could thank the five hundred some people who have added Wander down that one way road to their faves at this point, but... I'd probably die trying. So, I hope everyone can accept my thanks through one large gathering here on this journal. Haha. If I could hug each and every one of you, I would. Actually, you'd probably have to pry me off. And also, I want to give a HUGE thanks to ^KevLewis, who featured my piece as a DD, and also, *Ellie-the-dreamer for suggesting it!

Seriously, thank you all. (:

<sup>Day of Silence `08

4/25/08

http://www.dayofsilence.org/

Is anyone else planning on taking the vow of silence on Friday? I know just how much negativity is in my school, just from what I hear in the hallways alone. I can't even imagine what goes on that I don't see or overhear. =/ I'm vowing. You should consider doing it, too. Read more about what The Day of Silence is in the website I posted above. (:

RIP Lawrence King. You'll never be forgotten.</sup>

<sup>HAPPY EARTHDAY! -tree squeeze-

I rode a new horse for the second time tonight. She's so great. Her name is Gypsy, and she's a fourteen one hand, bay Quarter Pony mare. Jeez, she's a blast. Sort of simple, but if you're not paying attention, she'll make sure that you are. xD I jumped her two feet or so tonight, and she was really enjoying herself; I would release the pressure on her bit a few strides before the jump, and she would burst into a quick canter, and then soar over the fence, and everyone in my lesson said that it was very cute. I was pretty thrilled to have my instructor complimenting my crest releases, too. Hurray! Now, the only thing left to work on it my legs.

Baaah, shoot me: I have homework.</sup>

<sup>Have you ever felt like you are moving backwards?
I don't seem to be going anywhere anymore.
Photography wise... and with school.

I've been telling myself lately that I'm not good enough. and it's been showing in everything that I do. The quality of my photos aren't up to my own expectations anymore, and the ongoing pressure to reach perfection in my work (whatever perfection can even be defined as) is killing all inspiration to shoot. When in reality, my photos should not have to please anyone but myself. So really, what am I looking for? Praise? Acceptance? Stability? Who knows, I'm sure that I don't, not at the moment at least. I let too much get to me, and I really need to work on that.

I can't believe that I only stayed away from this website for a week. D: How freaking pathetic.

But yeah, the Equine Affair photos (which I'm not one hundred percent satisfied with, but whatever,) are driving me crazy. The whole expo was filled with horrible lighting, and all I could do was pan... without my tripod. Gah... whoops? Enjoy. (:</sup>

<sup>we went on a trail ride sunday! it was a-mazing! the place that we went to was beautiful, and the trails were all wooded and an even combination of hills and level ground... including a MONSTROUS hill that was about a mile long and practically straight up. OO holy hell. and we had to walk up it because we had a few less experienced riders with us. but my trainer promised that we'll go back and gallop up it soon. ((: i rode belle, who is a pretty laid back fourteen hand pony... but she was acting much younger than twenty five. (; as soon as we got there, i realized that i had left my bridle hanging outside of her stall at the barn... so i used two leadropes instead. xD if it had been any other horse than belle, ahaha, believe me, i would have been hanging out at the trailer while everyone else went out. ha. she was VERY good, though. and she even galloped! which is a huge thing for her, seeing as though she's a practically push-button, old, lesson pony. (: the field was my favorite part.

THREE DAYS! -grin-

now i'm off to tackle my math homework and be raped by the english essay i have due tomorrow. (:</sup>

<sup>because of my lack of itunes on the new machine, i've been subjected to countless hours of country music on internet radio, and i'm sort of falling for it. (; a lot of it is really good stuff. but then again, a lot of it is also crap. but i can't not say the same thing about alternative, indie, and folk. i don't know were i'm going with this, ahaha.

there are only FIVE DAYS LEFT until equine affair! i'm super excited. and on a mission! i'm looking to buy myself a neon yellow saddle pad, possibly look for a new saddle, and definitely buy a new helmet. also, one of the people i work with asked me to buy any neon green water buckets if i saw them. oh, and my trainer wants grey polos; but in intend on buying her some ridiculous ones, too. ((: thank god most everything at ea is cheap. haha.

i fell off the other day in my lesson. xD well, i half fell, half jumped. at the end of my lesson my trainer told us to all go into the canter in our two-point positions, and then nagged us about our heels the entire time. all of the horses were feeling good, since we were riding outside for the first time and had already done some "eventful" jumping. ahaha. i was riding toby, who was in a pissy mood because of his newly-acquired flash, and he threw a tiny buck that caught me off guard and made me eat dirt. yummmm. haha. nah, it was really stupid and not really credible as a fall. damn. and then for the rest of the cantering session, which was technically a galloping session, toby kept being a huge ass. how cute, right?

i've been watching the true life marathon all day. i have a horrible cold, so i can't go trail riding in the really nice weather, and i'm all congested and coughing. :[ luckilly, though, it's not strep. i had that awful strep test where they shove some over-sized q-tip into the back of your throat and swab your tonsils... it sucked.

anyway.... i hope that everyone else is feeling good! bye.</sup>

<sup>jesus, i might just love horses more than anything else in my life. and even though i've been around them since i was eight years old, watching them gallop through the pastures never ceases to amaze me. people tend to think i'm a bit crazy when i go into breathless rants about them, haha. and maybe i am crazy. or maybe their brains aren't the same as ours. (:

i worked for an hour at the barn today before i couldn't restrain myself any longer. armed with my camera, i paced the sides of the pastures, ready to dive onto my knees in the mud to get good shots. (which, by the state of my poor jeans once i got home, was evidently done pretty often. haha.) i got a lot of pictures. now i'm just agrivated about the fact that my new computer doesn't have adobe photoshop on it yet, so i'm stuck on the ancient, and currently groaning and near death, computer in my basement. D: ohnoes!

there's a HUGE grand prix at lake erie college all this weekend, and i'm going to be there on friday and saturday. if anyone is going, let me know, because that would be really cool. (: i'm just praying for outdoor warmup, or for horses to be outside... because shoot indoor events makes me want to hang myself by my camera strap.

oh yeah! i'm really excited about equine affair, which is next thursday! -pees pants- it literally crept up on me. and to add to the excitement of it being, well, duh, an very horsie event... i get to skip a day of school to drive down to columbus! heh. plus, my dad and i are planning on trying to buy tickets to the big show at the end of the night called pfizer fantasia. youtube it if you've never heard of it, because it's freaking AMAZING.

peace, kids.</sup>