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        <title>deviantART: by:penny025</title>
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        <pubDate>Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:35:35 PST</pubDate>        
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                <title>Isn't it so tempting....</title>
                <link>http://penny025.deviantart.com/journal/27436733/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 26 Sep 2009 20:41:35 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Isn't it so tempting to get caught up in alternate reality? i've had one of those days where nothing quire makes sense. One of my favorite people decided to up and go crazy this afternoon, leaving me completely and utterly stupified? how is it that we can just ignore each other's feelings so readily? how is it that we can create bonds that don't totally hold, forget them, and then expect the reconnections to be totally perfect once again? the thing is, i can't even be properly mad at him though. i can't hate him for being ignorant of what he was doing to me this whole time. for leaving me helpless. it just seems to me that we should be able to make more time to be understanding. i should've taken more time to make sure that i fully understood what he was actually saying rather than trying to decode the silent truths behind his words. looking back on it right now, that was such a waste of time. to want to find the right guy, to fall in love, to dream of my "happily-ever-after", how much of a sap am i? i've never been like that. i've always been the one in the corner, the cynicela one who didn't need love, didn't need anyone. but the avoidance has only helped me to end up alone. and on some level...i like it that way. it's less..."sigh" scary...than being with someone. than having someone try to guess and check your thoughts. than having someone see how cracked i actually am. and that's fine. but i won't lie to you, i do want to giive in sometimes, to have someone know me. but it's fine. i wonder how many times i say that? i'm fine. i wonder when some will finally ask me if i mean it. and when i'll finally be able to say, "no, not really."<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~penny025</author>
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                <title>A very merry christmas to all! :)</title>
                <link>http://penny025.deviantart.com/journal/22117726/</link>
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                <pubDate>Mon, 22 Dec 2008 08:45:48 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ this is for anyone who's willing to listen...or read as the case may be at this point. i just wanted to say thank you to all of the artists who have made this past year bearable for me, without you there would be no inspiration in my life and as a result my words would be as dull and lifeless as a block of wood, so thanks again! <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" /> there's one other thing that i want to share with the rest of you out there who are crazy enough to read this, don't waste your time letting the world's inhabitants try to define you because they are always and continuously wrong. i know that this is something that we all already know, but i thinkt that it's also something that we sometimes forget. the world wasn't made to judge you or lable you, it was made for you to exsist in, to change and mold as you see fit. there has never been a great artist in the world who has ever been satisfied with what he or she is doing, but let this be a lesson to you, you are all artists of the world and you exsist, like the rest of us to create change. so in conclusion...it is my hope that each one of you continues to make the type of amazingly stupifying changes to the world that i know you can! once again, i don't know if i'm right, just something i was thinking <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" /><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~penny025</author>
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                <title>today..yesterday..anyday really</title>
                <link>http://penny025.deviantart.com/journal/18805357/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 12 Jun 2008 15:41:26 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ have you ever been proud of yourself over the tiniest little thing? the smallest realization about yourself? i did something today that i pretty much do everyday, and i was so proud of myself, seemingly for no reason at all...just for completeing a project. i guess the way that i started to look at it..is that i could've just left it, for someone else to find and fix for me but instead i completed it. it made me realize that in order to live life you have to be willing to make the occasional mistake, but you also have to string together all the little things and make that count more to you than the big stuff..like getting your first job or making something that you threw your entire being and all your mounds of creativity into, something that may amaze even you, and that if your not finding it where you are then maybe you should venture somewhere else. the winds of change aren't always good but...they do make things exciting. i don't know if i'm right...just something i was thinking <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" /><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~penny025</author>
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                <title>something that made me think :)</title>
                <link>http://penny025.deviantart.com/journal/17899586/</link>
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                <pubDate>Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:41:41 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ Today was one of those days.<br />the kind that don't really seem to matter until, that is, you reflect and think back on them. i remeber that there was a time that i didn't even realize or recognize them, didn't even know that they were there, but i guess we all come to find things out in our own way and time. I read something today that made me think...the best gifts are always suprises. and you know, when you think about it, it makes sense. The entire entity of the world is a gift,we all love and live vicariously through it and yet there is always a part of us that is willing to sacrifice that for the sake of somehting that we thought was so important originally, and never really turns out to be that way. and suddenly out of the middle of nowhere, that's when it hits you, what you think is important and what's actually important to you are two completely seperate things, and often they don't really coincide too well. that part's the most unfortunate. but in the midst of it all, you somehow magically figure it out, and you get through it and you move on. and i mean maybe that's what life if supposed to be, maybe it's supposed to be trial and error, maybe your supposed to make flub-ups and be forgetful and lose sight of what's really sentimental and personal only to you, maybe just maybe that's how it's all supposed to go. and really i mean it took me until just today, just until this very moment to even figure it out myself, so really i don't know if i'm right, but then again aren't the best type of lessons and suprises the ones that are found out of self discovery? like i said, i don't know if i'm right, it's just something i was thinking... <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt=":)" title=":) (Smile)" /><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~penny025</author>
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                <title>not one</title>
                <link>http://penny025.deviantart.com/journal/15256856/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 28 Oct 2007 11:28:25 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ i am so glad that it's my favorite season now! finally fall has come and i can feel that wonderful in between in the weather. i love to see piles of leaves gathered around the various street corners that surround my own; little kids gathering them up to just ruin the piles that they had previously made by jumping into them. there is only one word to describe this time of the year, fantastic, the way that the sun seems to shine just so through the picture windows that have been precariously hidden within each and every twist and turn of the branch and every pea green leaf. the way that the whole hue of the world has completely changed; what was once green has now been replaced with newly formed shades of the crispest orange, the most vibrant yellows and reds, and they are all there for my pleasure, for my viewing. and it makes me wonder, every time that i walk home and see a tiny leaf flitting in the crisp cool air,does everyone see the beauty in this truly imaculant time of year, or is it just a select few? does everyone take a special pleasure in knowing that this is the time when you are supposed to pick apples, and enjoy a humongous bond fire with friends while drinking apple cider under a starlit sky and just being absorbed in the time and the place and feeling that the world has presented in front of you? or maybe it's mores simple than that, maybe every season is just supposed to be another time and another place, well i don't personally believe that, so it doesn't really matter all that much to me. i like to believe that every season is put in place for the simple reason of you being in tune with the world as much as humanly achieveable,<br />
i don't know if i'm right, but it was just something i was thinking.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~penny025</author>
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                <title>nothing really....</title>
                <link>http://penny025.deviantart.com/journal/14338716/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 25 Aug 2007 18:52:05 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ so...i just saw this thought on someone's artists comments for their work, "i don't think that people realize that heavy armor makes it harder to walk through life", or something along those lines, sorry but i can't remeber. it made me think....that he's completely right, if you decide to protect yourself from the world or your memories of things that have left you scarred and have made you feel disfunctional or withered, that's just not smart. and honestly, i'm probably about the last person who should be talking about this because i definitely have a hard time letting people in to see the real me, maybe it's because i'm afraid to let anyone see that i'm not always as strong as everyone seems to claim, that i have horrible flaws and imperfections and annoying quirks just like everyone else, but that's not to say that i try to mask my imperfections so that i can seem like the illusion that is perfection and control, i definitely don't have the patience for that. it's just that when people hurt you; it can be out of a number of different emotions, or have a number of reasons for justification, i think that that much more of our personalitiy is safe gaurded,that you start to lay the immense foundation of the wall that you will build around yourself for your intire life, at least that is until you find someone that's willing to work to try and tear it down. but you don't have be afraid to show other people the thoughts that you keep locked inside of your own head, the creativity or the beauty that you see everyday that the hustling and busteling people around you never really seem to take the time to see and absorb, or even the emotion that you feel everyday dealing with the trials and tribulations that life seems to want to put in your way to block the flow of your daily life, but don't let it. don't let yourself miss what the world has put in front of you to see and feel and be, live up to the expectations that you have of yourself, and allow the rythm of your life to be different but still harmonious with everything else that you are, because that's what makes you...who you are.<br />
i don't know if i'm right...just something i was thinking.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~penny025</author>
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                <title>nothing really....</title>
                <link>http://penny025.deviantart.com/journal/14125251/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sat, 11 Aug 2007 21:12:07 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ okay so i appreciate all of the comments that all of you have given me on my writings, i'm just so glad that someond likes them enough to comment! i really appreciate it. okay so this time i'm going to go for kind of a broad concept, but stay with me...i will promise to do my absolute best to not go to far out there.<br />
i don't think that  many of the people who have to live around me understand me, the thing that i have to say that i hate the most about those people is that instead of taking the time to get to know you they decide your fate instead. whale, jerk, nerd, freak, i hate all of those terms, because half the time i'm sitting there thinking do you have any idea what that person could be capable of, i meant that mentally, not in a columbine kind of way. they sit there and persecute because you don't fit into their perfectly painted white picket fence ideals of what is acceptable. and you know what i say to that, SCREW IT! i don't care about your lameass opinion anyways, you don't know anything about me and my life and yet you want to sit there and judge me on a whim because your  too lazy to take the time to open your mind to the possibility that i may be a person who in your not so humble opinion is worth the time for you to ge to know, but because of the fact that you want to stay in the womb of your ignorance i'm the one that has to suffer and pay?! now please tell fellow citizens of this spinning marble that we have claimed as our own, does that make any sense at all? sorry but it doesn't to me. i just want to be able to go through life without stupid, and emotionally shallow and vapid peole trying to ruin the ride for me...and come on now is it really so much to ask? but you know what they always say...hell is other people.<br />
contrary to this hysterical ranting, i'm actually in a pretty good mood right now aside from being tired.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~penny025</author>
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          <item>
                <title>creativity...</title>
                <link>http://penny025.deviantart.com/journal/13354848/</link>
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                <pubDate>Fri, 15 Jun 2007 10:52:26 PDT</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ creativity...wow...that's something that i always wished that i had, even though people tell me that i'm an extremely creative person...i don't know about the rest of you, but i think that it's easier for us to see in each other what we want to see in ourselves. that doesn't sound like it makes sense...um let me explain it this way...if you see a girl who is an amazing painter, naturally all that you want to do is sit there and look at her gorgeous painting. you want to breathe in the life and the energy that's radiating from it; drink in all of the brush strokes, the lines and twists and curves of that one painting. instead of bettering your own work, all that time that you spent sitting there taking in every little detail could have been spent bettering your own work, but for some reason your just so drawn to it that you can't look away. i think that that's what attracts people to each other, you see something; a quality, the person's name, or facial feature that just somehow draws you inward when you meet them and keeps you interested and facinated in them. and then after a while that curiosity starts to grow into something more, like friendship or even sometimes love. and in the case of love that radiation takes ahold of you and weaves a spell over your mind and body and just attracts you...that's the perfect word for it...attraction. you talk, and you listen and you contemplate all of the akward moments and the times that he didn't call or you didn't answer and all of the times he didn't kiss you even though the feeling and moment was so right. and then you begin to wonder if you should safe gaurd yourself from falling so far into the rabbit hole that you can't see the light..and your afraid that you never will. let me tell you, take a leap of faith and close your eyes and jump...trust me there will always be someone there to catch you.<br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~penny025</author>
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          <item>
                <title>i don't know</title>
                <link>http://penny025.deviantart.com/journal/11965714/</link>
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                <pubDate>Sun, 25 Feb 2007 18:44:46 PST</pubDate>
                
                <description><![CDATA[ this girl just posted something in 1 of the forums that made me think, now the only ? is...is that a good thing. 9:38 class 2morrow & i'm praying for a snow day. but back 2 what i was saying..... she was asking everybody in the forum what they considered artistic sucess. & i thought......maybe...sucess isn't all that important in the world.....maybe we're just all on the earth simply to find our own brand of happiness. wether it's playing the guitar on a snowy street corner in NY or spending all ur cash on the cutest mini skirt u ever saw(that u almost always hate when u get home)<img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt="=)" title="=) (Smile)" /> i hope that's what we're supposed to do w/ our lives, that's what i do every day. <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt="=)" title="=) (Smile)" /> <img src="http://e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/smile.gif" width="15" height="15" alt="=)" title="=) (Smile)" /><br /><br /> ]]></description>
                <author>~penny025</author>
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