http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:phantomgirl628&section=today deviantART RSS for by:phantomgirl628 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 19 Dec 2009 22:57:17 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/15000644/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/15000644/ Wed, 10 Oct 2007 13:29:38 PDT for a few reasons.
One-deviantart decided to filter mature content images so that you can only see them if you're 18. Fuck you deviantart, I think I'm old enough to appreciate the human body in an artistic manner.
Two-Let's face it, my username sucks balls. I made it when I was like, 12. So, I made a new one that I don't have to feel ashamed of.
Tis [link]
If you watch this account and have interest in my future, um, doodles, watch that one. I'll probably drop this account shortly.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/14975766/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/14975766/ Mon, 08 Oct 2007 18:30:52 PDT SO PISSED.
I have no word processor
so I use this thing called Write!
and it's like a word processor
but it's connected to Opera, my web browser.
So if I close Opera, Write! closes too.
So last night Liz called
and I was like
aight, I'll talk to Liz and stop writing
and shut my computer down.
I didn't hit save.
I DIDN'T SAVE!
How could I miss that!
The story took me hours
and I blew it.
UGH.

I have to upload a million gazillion drawings
most of them to scraps
and maybe I'll trace them over and ink and color them.
Maybe.
But the majority of them need fixing
and..ugh. I'm so angry working on things I would usually enjoy
sounds dreadful.

Speaking of work, I need a job.
So I can save up some money
to buy
a) car insurance
b) another copy of Guitar Hero-I can thank my dog for breaking that one
c) possibly another PS2-again, my dog.
d) books
e) everything else my minimum wage will allow.

OMIGAWD MAI LYFE SUXORZ.
*sigh*
I'm going to bed.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/14719060/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/14719060/ Thu, 20 Sep 2007 18:03:12 PDT
I've been drawing a lot
but I'm far too lazy to scan/post what I've done.
Also, I have a print
cause someone asked for one.
But they seem not interesting in purchasing,
but whatever.
If interested
this is the [link]

I think I'm running a fever.

Please shoot me.?
kthnxbai.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/14387809/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/14387809/ Tue, 28 Aug 2007 21:51:07 PDT Is.
Hot.

But there are plenty of fun things to do here.
I've gone to a ghost town out in the mountains, [population: 6. And I'm not even kidding.]

various restaurants that advertise in Massachusetts, [i.e. Red Robin, Jack in the Box, Sonic]

seen a musical, [Beehive; it rocked out loud.]

gone shopping, [I'm leaving for home with a new suitcase..full of new things.]

gone to Sedona, [the place is gorgeous]

the Grand Canyon, [it rained.]

seen Montezuma Castle, [annd a snake!]

been to Mother and Child Rock, [not that amazing..]

visited Cathedral Rock, [they built a cathedral in a ROCK. How is that NOT awesome?]

gotten a tattoo, [henna is so cool.]

gone swimming, [almost everyday.]

and taken many, many pictures. [over 800.]

But you know what?
I'm so glad to be going home to sticky, humid, boring Massachusetts.
I've had my fill of the 120+ degree weather, regardless of how 'dry' the heat is.
I miss my humidity.
And I start school soon. [Day after I get back.]
I miss my friends.
And day after day I've been tortured by the fact that it's so beautiful here; the photographic opportunities are endless, and I have no model!

the HORROR.

Anyway, I'm a little scared about flying home alone, but I think I can manage.
It sucks that I have a layover, but I'm frickin' 16 now.
I may be a minor, but I can look after myself.
[I'm scared shitless, can't you tell??]
Lucky for me, the first flight is the longest this time around. I go from Phoenix to Delaware [Marylannd~!] which is like 4 hours, and then from Delaware to Hartford, and that's just about an hour. It doesn't really seem worth getting off one plane to get onto another one for an hour flight. But whatever, I have to deal.

Oh Massachusetts. How I love to hate you.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13524360/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13524360/ Thu, 28 Jun 2007 11:07:49 PDT
I'm going to Osaka, a Japanese restaurant in Noho, later tonight for dinner.

And I'll be leaving in about an hour and a half for an appointment with my therapist.
Hey, I didn't WANT therapy on my birthday, but it was unavoidable. Dx

Anyway, I'mma make a new mix to play in the car. Something both Dad and I can rawk out too.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13453696/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13453696/ Fri, 22 Jun 2007 23:15:21 PDT
I found my tablet many months ago, which was mega-exciting. The only problem is, the pen tool is missing, meaning, I need to use the mouse, or not at all. So, that depressed me a little.

AH, my birthday is in less than a week. 5 or 6 days now. Exciting!
Which reminds me, I think that a long time ago I was supposed to draw something for Lauren and...I haven't. OHNOES.
But anyway. I have to do some (more) hardcore posting on my other account *cough*

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13350220/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13350220/ Fri, 15 Jun 2007 01:07:15 PDT Brat.
I'm going shopping for my Dad tomorrow. Cause father's day is Sunday. We're having a surprise cook out for my Dad, cause he's really the only father on his side of the family. His brother has kids, but he's a cheap douche and no one likes him. And he lives in Easthampton. Like, fuck that.
Me and my sister have to make appetizers. And we're like 'wtf do we make?'
And tomorrow we're having a bonfire, which I just learned today. My sister brought it up to my dad like Monday, so when they said something about it today I was like 'since when?'

I'm tired and VH1 is playing crappy music videos.
'Night.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13259093/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13259093/ Thu, 07 Jun 2007 23:14:29 PDT I like to play, but I keep getting hit on. T
hey're all like
ASL?
I'm like
15
and they're like
Fuckkk
and they leave.

Adult Swim sucks after 12:30.

Paige is supposed to come over tomorrow. Happyhappyhappy.

ALSO
I broke my digital camera. The funny thing is, it still takes pictures, the LCD is just broken.
It fell off the truck bed, which is like 4+ feet off the ground and, well, my little pansy-ass camera didn't like that much.
But, I found the camera I want.
It's like 230$. It's nice. It's another Fuji, and I trust Fuji.
It's from Wally World. Target cameras are more expensive.

Anyway, I'm tired, and I have another account to check.
Peace.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13222386/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13222386/ Mon, 04 Jun 2007 23:56:48 PDT
I absolutely HATE Takumi.
I never liked him
and I can't fucking wrap my head around WHY
Nana chose him over Nobu.

DON'T HAVE HIS FUCKING BABY. PERIOD.

And why can't Nana and (Hachi)Nana have smex? They totally want to, they're like, in love with each other.

I want to re-write this whole series.
Why is anime so heart-breaking? Why can't thw writers give (me) a happy ending? Wtf mate?


So now that I've stopped crying because I attached my emotions to a stupid anime series, the light table dad made for me is great. I just need a roll of masking tape to keep the sketch in place while I re-draw it. But it's mega exciting.

Also exciting, I'm going to Arizona this summer to visit my mom. I have to wait until August. Seriously, I wouldn't be happy about going if Molly wasn't coming with me. It's just nice to have someone who can see things from both sides. And tell me when I'm just being selfish/unreasonable.
I'll still have the face the dreaded Russell my mother is living with. This doesn't excite me, at all. He's an (ex) con, and served time in jail for possesion of coke, and then got off easy (5 years) because he ratted people out.
I hate rats.
Anyway, I hopefully won't see much of him, and I don't have to like him. I just have to surpress my hatred enough not punch him in the throat.

School's out for me, I officially never have to go back to Frontier. I withdrew for the 2nd semester (kind of like dropping out, but I can go to school next semester) and Dad's going to get me into the school I want to go to for the Fall.

Ahh, anyway, my vision is blurry from fatigue and subtitles. The white, small font doesn't do good on my retinas.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13205600/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13205600/ Sun, 03 Jun 2007 17:55:30 PDT
I gotta got use it now.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13143499/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/13143499/ Tue, 29 May 2007 20:13:01 PDT
Over the past two days, I've watched 25 episodes of Ouran High School Host Club.
In subtitles.
My eyes hurt.
And I couldn't get episode 23 to download, so there's a bit of a gap.
But at any rate
I loved it
a lot.
I made me laugh
a lot,
and sometimes
it made me want to cry
and miss my mommy,
but mostly, it made me squeal like a little fangirl.
Yeahh, I'm lame, so whatt??

Anyway, I won't be reading any small text books or subtitled movies/anime for about a month.
Dx My poor eyess.
So it's not that bad...but you know what?
Bite me.
RAWR.


On another note, I haven't been drawing much lately, and when I try, the poses seem so overdone and/or cliched, so I quitslashhave been expirementing with new styles and poses and none of my new drawings have been deemed worthy of posting.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/12958173/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/12958173/ Mon, 14 May 2007 19:41:54 PDT
I'm still not sure how I feel.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/12867317/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/12867317/ Sun, 06 May 2007 18:27:56 PDT
Today I did (nothing) and then went to my Mom's, which as always is rather boring. We sat outside in the sun and talked and then ate (food) and then watched America's Funniest Home Videos, because they have limited (TV) stations and that was the best thing on. Then my sister dropped me off at home and talked to my Dad a little, while I went down to the river to take pictures with my dog. It was kinda dark..I just wanted to get the reflections of the lights of the bridge on the water.

Yeah, I live next to a river, and we have this bridge above it. The bridge is blue. And it has lights. And at night, they reflect on the water, and it's really pretty. Anyway, because it was dark and I was using a digital camera, I'm sure the pictures suck. My camera had trouble focusing on things in the dark, or things less than 3 inches from the camera. I need a new one, quite obviously.

I'm saving up for it.
It only costs around 700 dollars..

..and Daddy still has to make (me) a light table.

I don't why I'm putting (everything) in parenthesis. It looks cool?

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/12783296/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/12783296/ Sun, 29 Apr 2007 20:36:28 PDT


Today kinda sucked.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/12572547/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/12572547/ Thu, 12 Apr 2007 20:03:00 PDT
Just uploaded new scraps, pen drawings. From school.Vacation after tomorrow!! Oh, so happy. I've got plans to go to Laser Storm with some friend on Wednesday!! Yay. Laser Storm is hella funn.

I have 9,720 page views, I just realized this tonight. Whoo, go me. lol. It's probably from all the my favorites, I go on faving sprees cause I'm a whore like that.

So, I'm nearing the big 10k. Exciting! now I can be like all those good artists who draw pictures for their 10+k page views and whatnot.

Blah, I have a new pose in my head, I have to jot it down before it goes away/drives me nuts.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/12378665/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/12378665/ Thu, 29 Mar 2007 16:54:58 PDT
It's fucking sweet. But at the same time, it means more make up work to do at home. Me being lazy, I put off work as much work as possible. So, I've been working on that. Sort of.

I almost tried out for a musical at my school. I was just weary of singing and performing before an audience. I have 'friends' in drama club, but the drama club is almost a clique. You are in, or you're out. And when you're out, you're left out. They have they're own inside jokes that no one else could possibly fathom. And it hurts me. I don't like feeling left out and being friends with people in drama can bring me down, I suppose, because I feel really awkward and unwanted.
Course, I can feel that way with just about everyone. And I hate myself for it.
My art has been flourishing in recent months because of social situations. I don't know; it's sort of a bittersweet things. I feel like my style is getting more refined, and I am trying to experiment with new things and try to make things a little more realistic and such, but I want to walk into a room and feel like people are truly happy to see me. I don't feel that way often, or really at all. I did yesterday afternoon. I hadn't seen Paige in a while because she was sick, so when she walked into Art Club she just seemed to light up er something. It was nice. It felt really good; and we talked for the whole time. Other friends of mine came and went. They were like 'hey, sup?' but then left. It made me feel kinda...invisible, I guess.
I don't know, does that make me sound too self centered or selfish or something??

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/12117961/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/12117961/ Fri, 09 Mar 2007 12:29:19 PST I have had so much bloody homework it's not even funny.
Neither of my deviantArt accounts have been updated lately.
My camera isn't ideal for what I want to do with it, so I haven't been taking pictures lately.
Also, my social life is failing. Dx.

On a lighter note, I got Dance Dance Revolution ((SuperNova.)) and it's hella addicting. Part of the reason I haven't had time to update/take pictures/draw.

So my Mom is moving to Arizona in May.
I'm..
I don't know. Sad and angry and. You know. Feeling abandoned.

But maybe our relationship will get better if we don't see eachother so often.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/11734417/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/11734417/ Thu, 08 Feb 2007 12:10:12 PST
Anyway, I had some to time to upload some new work today because I stayed home from school.

I slept in and did nothing all day!!

Gosh, I love staying home.

I hate my classes.
I didn't even make it inside the school this morning; I made it into the lobby and started to cry, so I called my dad and had him pick me up.
I have no friends in any of my classes.
And that's so hard.
I didn't think it would be so bad. But it's terrible.

In a nutshell, high school sucks balls. DX

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/10964418/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/10964418/ Tue, 05 Dec 2006 18:40:51 PST


Yay.

Biology test = ultimate doom.

I seriously believe I failed again.

Mr. Canaday took away my sketchbook today when I was drawing. Oh, he is so lucky he didn't make me smudge my ink or draw a line across the paper when he grabbed it. Otherwise, I would cry. I like believe I would get all ghetto and kick his arse but I know I wouldn't. The picture I was working on took me 4 periods. F O U R. That's like, over 4 hours.

O V E R F O U R H O U R S of hard labor!!!!

Well, whatever. Tomorrow is art club. I'm almost done with my Design painting. It's a self portrait. It's terrible..but as long as I don't ever have to see it again.

I always get paint on me. XD It makes me look artistic.

>.< I can't wait for Art Club, I get to hang out with all my friends.

But lately I've had some bad mood swings and not-being-able-to-take-insults-ness.

I think I should wear pig-tails tomorrow...

Concert tomorrow. Sweet.

I have a Chorus concert on the 14th. I am pumped.

Even though I usually hate those things.

My loser Daddy likes to read over my shoulders.

Tis ok though, it's not like I'm talking about getting high or dealing drugs or bringing a gun to school.

New gloves. I cut them so the fingers are gone. AKA Hobo gloves. I love them. They are mad comfy. I got new pearls. Fake ones. They're like glass. They were 9 dollars. A little out of the price range...but they are good ones.

Whoa. I just like coughed and then my hearing got better. >.> Worrrd.

I need to do some more writing, I haven't worked on any stories in like. A week.

Actually it was only like 3 days. But. I still need to. I have never before finished a story in my LIFE. And I've been writing creative stories since I was 9. DX



So, I'm going to stop writing this now.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/10683533/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/10683533/ Fri, 10 Nov 2006 20:18:14 PST That title
And this song
is so appropriate with this journal entry....lol. I didn't play this intentionally either! Honestly!

Llamocon.org

is down.

Llamocon is this convention (I'm hoping an anime convention, not that lame sci-fic convention crap) that is coming to Massachusetts. However, because the site is down at the moment, I have no fucking clue where this is actually taking place. It is at a College, Simon's Rock College, Daniels Art Center, Great Barrington, Massachuetts.

Mapquest was really no help but I'm guessing it's at least an hour+ away. Great. My chances of a) finding someone to go with me and b) actually getting there are slim to none. DX Like my dad will drive me around to be stuck at some bloody convention where he would be bored stiff. That and I am practically broke, AND how the fuck would I get my hands on/make a costume? Who would I be? Aaagh. My best shot would to be like, Hatsumi or something, but that would require some kind of preppy clothing. Why do I have to like anime and manga with elaborate and completely unrealistic costumes?

At any rate, I'm really excited and I hope I can go. I'll have to talk to my daddy, when he's in a super good mood.



Today was lazy. I got my blood drawn at 10 and then my dad took me out for breakfast. I had Challah bread french toast.

Goddd, I was reading Newtype like an hour ago and they brought up the topic of Japanese food and I was like 'ugh you've gotta be kidding ME.' It made me want calfornia rolls, ramen noodles, beek teryaki and chicken tempura. Yummm. I figured out why Asians are so skinny. It takes you so long to eat your food with chopsticks. And they walk everywhere.

So I just watched this killer Korean movie called the Red Shoes. It was acutally pretty good, much better than Stay Alive, big surprise there, and Stay Alive was able to creep me out. I had this freaky ass dream that creeped me out Wednesday night I haven't been the same for like 2 days. XD I'm a dweeb.

I don't think I will ever buy red suade heels. Ever.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/10569787/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/10569787/ Tue, 31 Oct 2006 10:53:23 PST My old art
It embarrasses me
I need to take it down.
It's old.
And...gross.
And, I can't type today. And Amanda here thinks it's a matter of spelling but it's ACTUALLY only a matter of typing. I also can't type very well when she is leaning on my arm.

I am going treating with Kate and Liz today, but the huge bummer is that Kate's mum is picking her up at 9 or 9:30.

My old fan-fics to come down too. Praise the lord I grew out of the 'suu' after every sentence fad. I haven't read Pita-Ten in a while. I should re-read. Good series. Light and Fluffy. Yes yes.

I miss French class. I haven't had one since the 8th grade.

A period is a drag.

I miss my house.

...
I miss video games.
hahahahaa.
Teen Girl Squad.

Anyway, I have 20 minutes until the end of school.

I don't post journals very often.
Except for like. Now.

Blame Mrs. R. of A block.

I really hate school.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/10556136/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/10556136/ Mon, 30 Oct 2006 06:09:14 PST with no sound
Because I'm retarded
but really because
I am bored, have nothing to do, can't go on myspace and I'm at school.

I hate this place. Then again, don't we all?

I spent a few minutes this morning in the bathroom with a friend cause she was crying. I felt really bad. I'm horrble at comforting people.
She says it happens all the time and that makes me sad.

Anyway, I am really bored out of my mind and Excel work does NOT excite me, to say the least.
But Ryan Reynolds does. I just sent a picture of him to my A block partner. Amanda sits next to me. And we both love him.

]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/9755304/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/9755304/ Thu, 17 Aug 2006 01:40:12 PDT
Adult Swim time.

<3 Adult Swimm. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/9755282/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/9755282/ Thu, 17 Aug 2006 01:35:21 PDT
I know you probably don't care, but I do.

My nana is driving me crazy.

Firstly, she isn't my mother. And she acts like it. And the last thing I want is a motherly figure but I'm trying. HARD. So anyway, I've pulling late night. It's hard for me to fall asleep..a recent problem..and so I've been going to bed 2..3..4 in the morning.

Tonight she got hammered. Drunk, like shitfaced. And she is one of those people who turns into a BITCH when they've had too much to drink. I present, the first issue.

So it is "cool" night tonight-60s I guess-and my room has only 2 windows; one which has an AC window unit in it, and the other is behind a TV, making it very hard to access. So at night, or when I would hang out in there, it could get decently warm. My nana does not for life of her understand that...or the fact that I really just get hot easily.
So when I'm in there, I turn my AC unit on Low Cool which takes about 15 bloody minutes because i have the damn thing 25 times before it will start. So i run it on low cool for about 5 minutes, then I turn it on fan. My dad informed me that putting the AC unit on fan wouldn't be that much more expensive than running the fan she hooked up in there for me. I didn't even want/need it in the first place.

I come back from babysitting at about 8:30 tonight, and when i get into my room I realize it's fairly warm. And I get kinda hot. So I run the window unit-while I'm hitting it my dad comes down to see what's up. No more than 2 minutes after it's started to run, my Nana comes in the room to ask me to turn it off, and I say, ok. But the room really isn't cool, so I turn it to low, and just as I am about to turn it to fan, she comes it and starts yelling at me-well, not yelling persay...speaking loudly and harshly-and telling me "she can't afford" to run an AC unit all night when it's 60 out.

What?

I think my eyes grew 2 sizes bigger. No one could possibly understand how much I just wanted to stab her at that point in time. For one thing, I was running it to cool the goddamn room down, and it was on for a max of 5 minutes. sfjifrhdalifbvih AHHHH. I wanted to kill the drunk bitch.

But seeing as I'm living here, and I did not want to argue, I just stared at her wide eyed and nodded.

And then, she didn't even close the door when she left. GOD do I hate that.

Later when everyone has gone to bed-about 10:30-I get on the computer and soon enough it's 4 AM. I'm not too tired, even though I got less than my 9 hours last night. So I'm kinda waiting until I get tired.

I don't understand it, but my Nana for some reason REFUSES to use HER goddamn master bathroom. Maybe the overwhelming mauve, pink and roses thing sickens her, but she HAS to use the one off the kitchen, next to the computer room, and down the hall from MY room. I didn't even hear her use the bathroom or even walk down the hall.

So she apparently uses the bathroom and stands at the doorway and says: "Honey, it's 4:15 in the morning. It's time for bed." No. I'm 15. I'll go to bed when I wanna. She continues to tell me I can't "do this" because I'm "going to school soon". So I move the internet explorer window to look at the desktop calendar and say, "I got a week...actually, i have more than a week left." And she leaves.

Rudely.

Humph.

Can I kill my mother now so I can get our house back?

I really don't want to live here anymore.




I'm really going insane. I might as well just chop off my own hand on purpose so they'll put me in the psych ward or something.




I'm. going. crazy here. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/9222390/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/9222390/ Thu, 29 Jun 2006 14:46:57 PDT











I love my birthday. Party tomorrow which means more presents which is KICKASS. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/8971407/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/8971407/ Sun, 04 Jun 2006 18:24:40 PDT
I am still living with my in constant agony.

Nothing's really getting better, just worse or staying the same.

Like this divorce. And my relationship with my mother. Nothing's happening. She won't sign the papers. So she can't sell the house. And me and my dad, we NEED that money.

But god forbid in this whole mess, my mother does anything to benfit anyone but herself.

My Nana is driving me bonkers. She wants me to do this and that...and worst of all, she frickin makes us eat brown lettuce. She says nothing wrong with it, but I beg to differ. It's brown, for one. Her excuse is, she grew up in the depression. OOO big dealll. Really, I see how that can effect her. But she still drives me crazy. I'm not used to her way of cooking, cleaning, and living. I want to live with my Daddy and sister somewhere else!

Today I went through my submissions, and deleted a bunch of stuff. I was finally able to see how much I improved. And wow, did I suck. I left somethings up so people could see the difference. I love to see how people started out and how they improved. I'm not sure why.

Birthday is coming up. Along with the end of the school year. once again: close to flunking Chemistry. Really trying to kick ass in that subject. Been not doing the homework in English for a while as well. Christ. Homework should be illegal. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/7987898/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/7987898/ Fri, 24 Feb 2006 07:56:24 PST
Parents divorcing=me with no way of posting art. Therefore, I'm only on here to check messages and be a fave whore.

Peace.

P.S. Watch/read Loveless. You will love it; it is SEX. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/7410351/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/7410351/ Sun, 25 Dec 2005 05:52:50 PST
What a holiday.

So my mother drags me out to FLorida for Christmas. That's not the oh-so-awful part.

The awful part is ((she had an affair)) so my daddy and sister aren't here (muchas tears <--- and that's for serious foo) and I got sick.

Like evil-y deathly sick. *coughcough* yeah, I threw up and it was like...Projectile vomit. WEE. Fun fun. Well that was 2 nights ago, so I'm over it now.

Sooo other than thattt...MERRY JESUSMAS! I miss muchas the snow but hey, I got presents! Gift cards to book stores! w00t! Colored pencils! Sketch books!

omg I have so much art i need to post. I've been working on changing my style a bit and I have all this crAp I need to submit! omg omg omg! tweakage!

Well anyways I wish everyone who readss this a merry jesusmas//happy christmas and Perhaps someday you will all once again see some new art from me...>.< Perrhapss.

BYES! ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6821243/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6821243/ Thu, 20 Oct 2005 17:36:21 PDT
<33 NBC

Anyway, visit cause I have new pictures up. And I know I watch the account that I am now using for photography, it was supposed to be for Molly but, she doesn't use it. Go figure.

Also, has the awesomest gallery evarrr. Go visit her too. I faved like, everything in her gallery on the other account.

That's about it, I have an essay to write. :sadface:

Tah tah. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6730336/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6730336/ Mon, 10 Oct 2005 13:03:47 PDT
It would look hott.

I want it.

I can't wait.

Piracy <3. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6635661/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6635661/ Thu, 29 Sep 2005 16:12:47 PDT
A big group of friends and me are going trick-or-treating as pirates. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. This will be. So much. Fun. I need:

-clip on earrings to make up for the spots I don't have pierced
-more comfortable boots
-a skirt/pants perchance the one I need isn't in the basement
-a sword
-big golden hoop earrings
-a ring of keys cause I'm the prison keeper. And first mate. Well actually I'll be the captain, but that just means I have a more pimpin hat than anyone else.

Short update.

Bye. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6539958/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6539958/ Sun, 18 Sep 2005 18:31:49 PDT
Congrats to me, I'm a total dumbass. Let's throw a party where you all take turns shooting me. Please, it would be my pleasure.

I want to die. I did the dumbest fucking thing ever. What did I expect to come out of it? No good, that's for sure.

As most of you know, I've ranted endlessly about my dreams. I stopped writing them down after I dreamt I watched my Pappap die in front of me. He died a week later.

So now, I thought to myself, "Maybe what I am dreaming about John will happen..." Maybe. I would hate to have it on my conscious if it did, right? Well, stupid me a few months ago saw his sn on Kate's buddylist. It stuck in my head. (Like ShibbyPep1000 isn't hard to forget anyway) I added him a while ago, and I thought it really came in handy today. I made the decision to tell him. That was on mistake, to even think about it. I shook. Uncontrollably. And it wasn't until I was babysitting I stopped. I also ate as much chocolate as possible. And drank Canada Dry to ease my stomach.

I came home, and it was all good. Till he came back from away. I got the courage to IM him.

Second big mistake.

Thrid big mistake? Well, having made just about all my sns from Green Day songs. Laura, a "friend" from 6th grade that I don't eve talk to anymore and who goes to a different school, was able to identify and tell him it was me. LOVELY.

He's going to talk to me. He's going to tell all his little friends. I'm gonna be labeled a crazy chick and eventually this could leak to the guidance office. HO SHIT. I'm dead. Dead dead dead dead-no, I'm deader than dead. I'm going to have to skip breakfast now to, just so I'll have nothing to throw up if he talks to me. Which he will, because he's an asshole!

I hate myself. Why am I so incredibly stupid?

I don't know. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6469657/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6469657/ Sat, 10 Sep 2005 17:02:06 PDT
YAY.

I went to a fair today, in Greenfield. Without a voice and a runny nose.

No fair rides for me, no thank you. I nearly had an anxiety attack myself when Kate and Liz tried forcing me onto the Ferris Wheel.

I KNOW. A ferris wheel is NOT bad. But you know what? These things are set up for 4 days, run all day for each four days, and then are parked for another year. I don't want to be on them when something goes wrong.

Extreme anxiety over those things.

It's funny. At one point I'd do anything to get myself killed, and now I just wanna live.

It's amaziong how good friends can turn your life around.

I have so many friends now. Like, I befriended the new kids, and when see people I know (which is like all the time) we're like "HEY!!!" I feel like a celebrity cause people will like yell to me. It's great. I love having friends.


So as some of you may or may not know, last night I was at a Green Day concert in Hartford, Connecticut. I screamed my lungs out and I felt like my ears were gonna fall off. It. Was. Amazing. Jimmy Eat World opened for them, which was great Jimmy Eat world had amazing stage energy and wonderful volcals and harmonies.

Then Tre came out in a bunny suit, after about a half an hour of stage prep. He acted drunk, chugged and threw two bottles of beer into the crowd.

Then he went back, and around 10 minutes late out ran Tre, Mike and Billie Joe. <3 them all. They started with the first 5 songs of American Idiot (minus Boulevard of Broken Dreams thank GOD) and then went onto play other stuff (not in the correct order): She, King For a Day, Brain Stew, 2,000 Lightyears Away, Longview, and others. We left early to see if we could get to the tour bus, but we found out it was parked inside.

But we met this really good band called Loser's Luck. All the band members were hott, and we all bought their CD. And we got hugs and a bunch of high fives from them and it was awesome. They said we were like the coolest people ever. <3333333 I especially love the Drummer. One, cause he plays the drums. Two, because he's super hottt. And we met him first. I think. Anyway, I got their autographs, so when they make it big, that Cd oughta be worth a lot. Even so, I wouldn't sell it for the world. Even if they don't make it big, it means a lot to me to say I met them, hugged them, and convinced people to buy their CD.

Well, here are some other examples of random shit that happened last night:

ProstheticHead28: ZOMG Last night was sooooooooooooooooooooo much fun
JesusOfCoffee409: i know!
JesusOfCoffee409: what happened
ProstheticHead28: well
ProstheticHead28: Tre came out in a bunny suit and acted drunk
ProstheticHead28: and threw little plushies into the crowd, along with the two bottles of beer he chugged
JesusOfCoffee409: !!!! the concert was last night?
ProstheticHead28: yes
JesusOfCoffee409: i feel so left out
ProstheticHead28: lol
JesusOfCoffee409: did you catch the beer bottles?
JesusOfCoffee409: lol
ProstheticHead28: No, we weren't on the floor
JesusOfCoffee409:
JesusOfCoffee409: what was the set list?
ProstheticHead28: We were in sectiopn 107
ProstheticHead28: but that was kinda behind the stage
ProstheticHead28: so we took some empty seats in a section that would allow you to see more
ProstheticHead28: and half way through the concert some bitch that workd there said we had to go to our correct seats
JesusOfCoffee409: they actually check?
ProstheticHead28: and then we went to some other empty seats, and another bitch came and told us we had to move. Our seats were taken we told her, and she threatened to call the cops on us.
JesusOfCoffee409: wow
JesusOfCoffee409: that sucks lol
JesusOfCoffee409: you should have jumped down to the floor
ProstheticHead28: we went to your CORRECT seats, kicked them out and were in front of this drunk guy.
ProstheticHead28: We wanted to sneak onto the floor.
ProstheticHead28: Anyway, I thought the drunk guy was going to rape us or something. He was fucking scary.
JesusOfCoffee409: you should have complained to the bitch about him
ProstheticHead28: no. We didn't., We just wanted to have fun.
ProstheticHead28: eventually his gf came and he stopped hitting on us.
JesusOfCoffee409: wow he was hitting on you?
JesusOfCoffee409: lol<... ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6397814/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6397814/ Fri, 02 Sep 2005 13:57:03 PDT
So, for a while now, I've had a friend online. I don't know his name, but that isn't what's important. He's like an older brother to me.

But last night, it was hell to fall asleep. And when I fell asleep, my dreams weren't pleasant.

I told him about it, because in a way, it concerns him.

This was our conversation:

You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
Hey.
Don't look at me that way... says:
hey
Don't look at me that way... says:
omg i am so glad you're onm
Don't look at me that way... says:
*on
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
Yeah... ..
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
I love you too.
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
.
Don't look at me that way... says:
no no. It's not just that...I'm a little...creeped out.
Don't look at me that way... says:
I mean. I love you too...but I am just...a little shook up
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
What happened?
Don't look at me that way... says:
Well I..er...I had a dream last night.
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
About..?
Don't look at me that way... says:
well...it'll sound funny. But. it was kind of centered around...you and me.
Don't look at me that way... says:
er...not just you and me.
Don't look at me that way... says:
like...
Don't look at me that way... says:
talking to people online you don't know kind of thing...
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
....
Don't look at me that way... says:
everyone in the dream I didn't know.
Don't look at me that way... says:
Or remember specifically.
Don't look at me that way... says:
...am I talking too much?
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
.... No...
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
But you are kinda strange...
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
Continue on..
Don't look at me that way... says:
that's what you get.
Don't look at me that way... says:
anyway. I just remember...she had a guy she was friends with online, and then...somehow he stalked her and sent her threat notes. and then killed people she knew.
Don't look at me that way... says:
until, it was just her and a group friends in her house...and some random woman, like a body guard thing? And he was just picking off people to kill
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
Wait...
Don't look at me that way... says:
I'm sorry. it's so hard to explain..
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
Wait, wait...
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
So, he kills the people she knows..
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
I didn't get the body guard part.
Don't look at me that way... says:
I don't know..like...I don't remember how she got in there. But I specifically remember another woman there, trying to protect her...and her friends. But they all died anyway
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
o.o/..
Don't look at me that way... says:
i guess all that online safety stuff just got to me somehow. I don't recall reading anything evern related to this...but..that's just what I dreamt.
You're Crying Like A Little Girl, For Losing Something You Couldn't Protect Like A Man. Shameful. says:
@_@... Do you really think I'd do something like that? @_@. .
Don't look at me that way... says:
no.
Don't look at me that way... says:
I guess it just reminded me...of the fact that...I have multiple online friends...
You're Crying Like A... ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6265205/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6265205/ Thu, 18 Aug 2005 20:14:54 PDT
I haven't drawn in forever.

Wait. I lied.

I drew last night...*Not the point*

Anyway. It'd been a while, until I realized I needed to draw something.

And I did.

Post it? .............................. I think not. Not yet, anyway. I hate it, and really...it needs work. Muchas work. So. It's not going up yet, for those of you who *actually* care.

I got my schedule.

It sucks.

Destiny is going to Tech, and so is Liz but for a Tri-mester (? Don't ask...) but even if Des went to Frontier she wouldn't be in any of my classes. Taylor and Jeff aren't in any of classes either, and I'm only in a few classes with Amanda...

High school depresses me already.

But! I don't have classes with HIM!! How totally awesome is that!?

...there are several other people I wouold *hate with a burning passion* to be put in classes with...but at least I won't feel sick and my mind can be at some kind of ease.

All I can say is: Good thing I didn't sign up for Latin.

You can bet your ass I'll be in the Guidance office on the first day of school switching classes around...I hope that mine and Kate's schedule are somewhat alike...and if not, we'll make them identical.

We will. They won't seperate us, no way. You can't seperate the Dumb Duo. Cause that's what we are...we can both be INREDIBLY dumb.. >.<

The Green Day concert is nearing (eeep!) and so is the realease of the 5th FMA DVD! (double EEEP!)

I can't believe my summer is almost over...WHERE HAVE THE DAYS GONE!?

....probably passing me by as I sat at my computer....

And I will have to do my homework again...T.T I haven't homework in almost a year.

Fuckkk.

But anyway...I'll try another kiriban. For 8,000.

We'll see if that works.

And. My other account is It was for Molly. Who never uses it. So it's mine now. It's going to have all my photos..when I get my darkroom running again you'll see more. Now it's all my Gettysburg trip friends and shit. In color. But there will be black and white stuff...

And the avatar rocks. Come on...it does.

I'm really shutting up now. Promise.

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6228607/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6228607/ Sun, 14 Aug 2005 20:40:21 PDT
So hot tonight.

Anyway. We had some massive thunderstorms tonight. My mom tweaked out...no suprise.

I got stung by a bee...for no real reason, I guess he was just angry. Anyway, it's right on my toe. I've been stung twice as a llittle girl and cried my eyes out...I got stung and just said something bit me. Then my parents proposed that it was a sting...and I agreed. Especially seeing as seconds later, while dipping my foot in the pool, I realized my toe had swollen up like a balloon. It's not too bad now. Just a little numb.

We had full hook-ups while camping, including cable. So I didn't miss a show, and I got to see dot.HACK and Gundam Seed. I found the Gundam Seed art to be great, and dot.HACK was better than I expected. Gonna have to go out and get the manga now. ^-^

Well. I'm thirsty.

L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6208069/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6208069/ Fri, 12 Aug 2005 13:58:59 PDT
I won't be here for the next like 3 days...

I know you all will miss me. ^-^

I'll be back later Sunday.

SO. Leave me lost of comments for when I get back. It makes me feel loved...

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6193164/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6193164/ Wed, 10 Aug 2005 23:27:09 PDT
Not since I saw him again. Not since he brought my dreams back.

And while raiding the alcohol stash just last night, I found the worst thing I could set eyes on after encountering him.

Strawberry flavored vodka.

I didn't smell it, it sort of burned just looking at it. It was right on the edge of the table too..I don't know why I'd never seen it before.

But I could smell strawberries and vodka when I woke up.

Nasty.

Tonight would be a good stay-up-late-and-watch-my-FMA-dvds night, except I let Chris (my sister's boyfriend) borrow them tonight. I feel tired now that I'm at the computer but the thought of sleep is just too repulsive. I don't really know what to do.

I could draw, I guess...or write, or do something else that's productive...I'm just not sure I can set my mind on anything else.

I hope I'll be all right by the time this weekend rolls around. I'm going camping, with my parents, and Kate.

I felt bad, at the mall...me and Kate were talking about that today. Liz asked to be let in the missing links...but I got tense and sounded really bitchy. Kate asked me if she could know..and I said no. Then Liz asked and I said no really loud. I think I upset her. I just don't how she would take to it. I don't think she would understand. No one else does, not even Kate. She just takes it as it is.

As for being clean, it's not working too well. But I'm not stupid.

This time they're where no one will see them.

Which worries me.

Again my journal is full of cryptic rantage no one really understands. That's ok. At least I know for myself.

Journals are my therapy. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6182074/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6182074/ Tue, 09 Aug 2005 20:13:22 PDT
Messed around in all these stores (Bath and Body Works, Target, Hot Topic, Claires, Best Buy) before the movie, along with some food.

Then He came.

It was a nightmare. I literally felt I'd planted into one of them. Except, different.

Well anyway, any chance He got, he would bother us. I had to guzzle down my fruit punch during the movie to keep it down. I still feel sick but thanks to the vodka in my coke I feel a little better. Anything to keep from old habits.

I can't draw, I'm still shaky, and I can't think of anything else. His voice is so...gah.

Kate warned me throughout the evening, but she couldn't when he trailed us after the movie and was talking to us. Oh how I wanted to turn around and punch him...or puke on his shoes. Although I'm too scared of puking again that I wouldn't be able to but...you know when you get that sickly feeling in the pit of your stomach. Gross.

Came home totally pooped and ready to bash anyone's brains in. Gar.

That might've helped, because I did something really dumb. I IMed him. I told him: you're such an ass.

What did he say? Thanks. Well, I had many ideal statements to sum up how I feel about him, but I stuck with 'heh, you're welcome'. I will admit, it made me crack a smirk. A 'you really don't get it do you?' smirk.

I hate him..

I wish he would disappear.

Or me. Whichever comes first.

<3 L. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6177662/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6177662/ Tue, 09 Aug 2005 10:42:34 PDT
I had my ADD testing today. The doctor says I might not have ADD but I might have a nonverbal learning disability. Ok, FYI-I suck at math and I can be a little slow in the calculation department, but the last time I checked that wasn't grounds for "special help" and learning disabilities. She wouldn't let me right anything down, and I can't do that sort of math in my head. I mean, when you get asked a question that flip-flops around like John Kerry you can't tell me you can calculate the whole thing in your head. If I can't do it on paper, it takes me a long, long time to do it in my head. Cause it's math. So there.

But, my language skills were way above average. I did better than 79% of people who take the test...which she said was equal to like an A. I didn't mention my writing skills but I think that is why my language and vocabulary was so high.

My mum quit smoking to today. She is a total bitch-case. Rawr. And not the sexy kind of rawr. She's like Satan, that kind of rawr.

And late tonight my friends (Kate and Liz) + moi are going to the mooovies. We're seeing Dukes of Hazzard. The only movie that interested all of us.

Well...I'm off...

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6102566/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6102566/ Mon, 01 Aug 2005 15:03:46 PDT
Seeing all the Jark support...wow.

I don't know why he was fired but...he was a founder. And founders shouldn't be fired. Cause he helped build this community...and he should still be a staff member to maintain the community aspect of DA.

People are saying DA is going corperate but I haven't noticed anything drastic. They did change the comment procedure and the Deviantwatch and Message format..other than that I haven't noticed much.

MoonLightSpectre suggested wearing yellow on the 8th instead of not posting on the 7th. I think that's what I'll do, wear yellow. Though I probably won't post anything on the 7th anyway...

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6061215/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6061215/ Thu, 28 Jul 2005 19:35:14 PDT

I misssssssssss my Hot Gimmick. Ryoki is teh hottnessss!!! Azusa is just a fucking...FUCKHEAD!! Yeah so I need the 3rd Volume of HG before I go insane....which is pretty soon.

And i have bug bites on my feet. They itchhhh....GRRR~~!~~~!!!!

And I'm listening to Nimrod~~~LOVE Green Day.

KING FOR A DAY PRINCESS BY DAWN~!~!~

So yeah.

Also, I read the first 2 volumes of Negima (teh cuteness!!!) and started Genshiken. Interesting, although I enjoy my Hot Gimmick and Negima much better then Genshiken.

Dum da dum...

ARG my feet itch. A LOT.

I'll itch my way out of this journal entry...

...if that makes any sense.

I don't think it does.

Oh well.

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6016410/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/6016410/ Sat, 23 Jul 2005 21:05:46 PDT
Mm. No matter how many you take, no matter how gross the stalls are...when you take a shower at the beach it feels like heaven. Horseneck Beach is like that. You get all salty from the air, and when you take a shower it feels soooo gooood.

I wanna take a bath. It's 12:01 and I wanna take a bath. I just might.

My dinner was interesting tonight. See, we have all our food at the campsite...so I had to dig through the freezer to find something. I found a braided cinnamon sweet loaf. Some burgers. Keilbasa. French fries. And some old pasta salad in the fridge. It was still good. So I threw those together, the bread being my desert. Heh, there was like 12 slices and now only 3 are left. Which will be my breakfast tomorrow.

I feel weird, being alone and knowing it is only me in the house.

Hmph. Well, I'll go take a bath and do other stuff. Yay. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5935980/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5935980/ Thu, 14 Jul 2005 19:13:28 PDT
Well, I'll probably say she's not obnoxious later, when I find out who it is...

But. She really got me.

With a rumor...that had some truth.

And rumors are suposed to be lies. But this one is not 100% lie. Someone spread it....knowing fullwell some of the worst possible things I could have ever done.

For one, it stunned me, that everyone on Apollo must have gone through the Gettysburg trip having heard, and thought it to be true, this rumor.

And two, it's not all a lie. To some aspect, it is true. But not completely.

And, it just kills me...who would say that? Who would want to say such a thing?

CatAndMouseChase (9:45:56 PM): i heard rumors on the gettysburg trip that u slit ur wrist

It's a horrible rumor! True I cut and true I tried it there once...and true I've tried killing myself but never like that!

Bad bad rumor. It makes me want to cry and...do bad things to myself...o.O and others.

Unfortunately, more to myself.

BUT NO NEED TO FEAR! I can't cause I don't have my scissors~~~~

ACK it suckls when rumors make you feel like shittttt.

RUMORS...

I'LL KILL THE PERSON WHO STARTED IT.

I wish.

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5920139/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5920139/ Wed, 13 Jul 2005 04:32:21 PDT
And couldn't fall back asleep.

Spent a little time in the forums....art snobs are sooo obnoxious. One was complaining about how the DDs were overly sexual and the nudes chosen are all crap, and how the younger deviants shouldn't see that...spare me. You should be like 13 to be here and if you're not then your parents should view the content you see. And if the little 9 year olds here pretending to be 13 and over can't handle artistic nudes, it's not up to the staff to look after what they see.

And a manipulator was complaining about how bad the manipulation gallery is! Give it A REST people...sheesh.

Florida...it's really really hot. Today I'm heading over to butterfly world with my cousins and aunts. Gonna use meh new camera...

I should go shower and eat breakfast and stuff...

^-^

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5901532/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5901532/ Mon, 11 Jul 2005 06:38:32 PDT

I don't have to go without FMA either! If my aunt can set up the TV today and KI be super quiet, I can watch FMA at one tonight!

Watched In Good Company last night till like 11:30...then I finished up Naruto and listened to music for a while...and spaced out. Then I sorta slept, till like 6 when Florent and Ginny woke up (Ginny and Florent= my aunt and her bf) I haven't gone back to sleep since but...I feel a bit tired.

I've plowed through almost all of my books. The third Legal Drug, Naruto, second FMA, second Alichino....and most of One Piece. I'll be done with them all by tomorrow!

I need more...like my Othello and Princess Ai.

Eeep.

Your vacationing artist,

~Lauren. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5878454/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5878454/ Fri, 08 Jul 2005 15:44:24 PDT

[link]

and

[link]

Creepy-ness. And even in the Disney Cartoons! What has this world come to?

And the Rollercoaster one...that is teh creepiest, i dunno why...I'd heard it before but never heard it in the song. And to test that theory, I'll download the song and listen to it to see if the scream is actually there.

Makes me all shivery...

I can be such a woss.

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5852459/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5852459/ Tue, 05 Jul 2005 23:36:08 PDT I miss you already..

This is an atrocity...

....IT IS!

I MEAN OMG! I WANNA CRY...MORE! I DID CRY! BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA CRY...I'M CRYING AGAIN!

MAES! opiwijnbefibfv

I can't be-FUCKING-lieve that ENVY KILLED MAES! I HATE Envy now! HE KILLED MAES!!

They can't do this....IT'S HORRIBLE! I miss him already...

Full Metal Alchemist Episode 25: Words of Farewell. Great Episode but...why did Hughes have to go!? I loved him but now he is gone!!!??? I...I want him BACK!!

I can't believe they killed him...AND I THOUGH ENVY WAS A HOTTIE! I mean...what is hotter than a guy that wears a skirt!? ARIEL don't answer that....

BUT MAES!!! Why did he hafta kill Maes...?

So...Rest In Peace Maes...



But I have more to this...Mustang told Maes...he had the gun in his mouth. MUSTANG WAS GONNA KILL HIMSELF!

That hit me deep. I love Mustang, and to know he wanted to kill himself made me cry...poor Roy. I wanted to climb into the Tv and tell him i know how he felt and hug him to death but then he'd be dead and...that would not be cool.

But oh, the ending was so...I don't know. Ed and Winry were eating pie given to them by Maes's wife and then Winry was like 'when we get back to Central you have to thank him you know' and Ed looked out the window and saw Maes ( or his spirit anyway) waving! And I was like *sniffle*tear*aww!* and then Al was like 'See something?' and Ed was like '...nope!' and then ate the last of his pie...it was so touching! And it made me cry even more...

...On the other hand, it was nice to Roy getting punched in the face for wanting to try a taboo. I guess he figured that if he couldn't pull the trigger to kill himself than trying a taboo would work...or something...and then Hughes punched him. I was like LE GASP! and GO HUGHES! and Roy was just kinda like '....eh...' but boy did Hughes knock some sense into him.

And then Hughes figured the whole thing out and pressured that secretary...and i just knew he should have...and then he DIED!!

But um...*cough* Pulling myself together now. It is sad that I try not to cry at a funeral but let myself go when something sad happens to a fictional character in an Anime. It's actually a bit...sad.

Well, in other news, I bought my bright orange converse today! So comfy.

And also, the first 3 FMA DVDs...*go me* And also, the 1st One Piece and Naruto mangas, the second Alichino and Full Metal Alchemist mangas, and the 3 legal drug! But the Barnes and Noble I went to didn't have my Othello or Princess Ai so..*sigh* i I got to buy Naruto and One Piece instead. I also thought about starting Fruits Basket...but then, I saw the 2 FMA manga was out and..SNATCH. My mum bought me a pair of shorts, capris *which are like parachute pants btw, so awesome and light for Florida!* and a tank top...which is a black wife beater with icky rhinestone things lining the sides by the arm....but it is comfy.

Back to the mourning of Maes Hughes and my coping with it...*sigh*

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5819698/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5819698/ Sat, 02 Jul 2005 10:24:08 PDT
Is this more than you bargained for yet?
Oh, don't mind me
I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up,
How I'm just dying to be him?
I'm just a notch in your bedpost,
But you're just a line in a song


YEAH. Wow. Creeps me the fuck out. But I loveh the song.

Blah blah bought some stuff at Hot Topic with a gift certificate from my Uncle and aunt for my b-day. A NFG shirt, an Edo keychain (and the Al one to match...SO CUTE!) a Green Day poster, one of those 'Music is Life' braclets, and neon pink GIR shoelaces. EEE!! lol

Oh. I was gonna get the 3 FMA DVDs but Mum convinced me to put that 60 bucks toward a tablet (which was 94$, 10 bucks off cause it was opened) but it's the wrong pen. GRRRRR!!! DAMN YOU BEST BUY!! So I have to take it back for either a new pen or a whole new tablet altogether.

Well...I have PHOTOSHOP NOW!! YAY!!! And some other painter programs. WEE!!

Expect more digital work from me soon.

BUT in other news..I have started Chapter One of a new - NO not a STORY stupid. - COMIC! WHEE! More like a "graphic novel" because it has a storyline...one I came up with in like 3rd grade but never really put into words...abd it was bugging me until I said...OK! COMIC!! Look for....The Power.

OK OK. I'll tell you what it is about. It is about a freshman girl that has the power to stop time.

But I only did like half of page one and the cover page for chapter one. Which looks rather good, I do say.

I'm out.

Au Revoir, mon amies.

~Lauren....who is going to Florida in a week. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5744313/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5744313/ Fri, 24 Jun 2005 12:15:46 PDT
Molly is coming over tonight. EEE. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I have been hanging around with too many rap people...I am finding more and more rap songs I like...ERGH.

Yeah. I don't really have much more to say.

But..IT'S CAPS FRIDAY GODDAMNIT!

And...you're so straight...EWE...lol

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5714966/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5714966/ Tue, 21 Jun 2005 14:40:11 PDT
Mood: Sad
Listening to: Don't Fear the Reaper

NEXT KIRIBAN: 6,060

Why is funeral spelt with the word fun in it? I don't understand...

I went to my Pappap's funeral today. Yesterdau was the wake. There was at least 250 who came to the wake, but some of them were supporting my aunts. Colleages and family and friends all showed up aty the funeral. We saw him yesterday though at the wake and the casket was open (of course) and he looked so different. Firstly, he lost so much weight from the cancer treatments, and then he wasn't smiling. I mean, in the casket....he wasn't smiling...I guess there couldn't have been a way to make him smile but...I just...he didn't even look real. He looked like one of those wax dummies in a wax museum.

I didn't cry yesterday at the wake, but today we all did. My uncle Dan, Chris, my sister's bf, my new Aunt from Thailand, the little kids...my mom and me and Tasha and Nana and my dad...It was seeing my dad and hearing the little kids cry that made me cry. And during the service (well, the end actually) Pappap's brother (one of them anyway) read the letters that Pappap's children and grandchildren wrote. I took an excerpt from the Phantom of the Opera-Wishing you were Somehow here again.

I am glad this is finally over.

I walked up to the corner store and bought a pint of Ben and Jerry's. I need chocolate badly. So I bought Half Baked. Yum. It numbed my thoughts for a while. And before that I started to clean out the area for my dark room. I broke a sheet of glass though. Whoops. I got the shades up and then my back hurt and I felt grubby from all the dust I'd been touching so I went back upstairs, took a break and then went to the Dairy Mart down the street. Then I popped on the AC and watched TV for a while. And then came back up here. I'm alone for the time-being, I don't really feel like being with the family tonight...I've been with them all week. Literally. I've been such a help my feet ache and so does my head. But we don't have any good food in this place...Food is one of the worst coping stratedgies I have...


I appreciate all your support guys.

~L

...Baby Take my hand... ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5674313/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5674313/ Fri, 17 Jun 2005 07:32:14 PDT
Everything is now ok with my sister- ignore the previous rantage. I don't know what was up with either of us last night.

I stayed up to watch Samurai Champloo. It was awesome. One of the guys sounded like Spike. Hee hee. And I love the theme song.

At around 11:00 last nigh my Papap passed away. He's in a better place now...right?

Took off yesterday and today from school. I don't know how I'm supposed to get my things from my locker.

...And if we all believe in heaven, maybe we'll make it through one more year, down here. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5670676/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5670676/ Thu, 16 Jun 2005 20:29:38 PDT
Mood: Angry
Listening to: Sad Sad Kittie- The Pillows (FLCL)

AAGH I hate my sister! She treats me like slave (so whenever I'm in the kitchen, I'm cleaning or putting dishes away for her) and she is like a way overprotective mother! AND SHE LIES! She kept unplugging the DSL Adapter cause "dad didn't want Lauren online when he wasn't home" THAT IS SUCH BULLSHIT! HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN I AM ON THE INTERNET AS LONG AS I DO MY CHORES AND OTHER STUFF THAT MY PARENTS WANT THAT DAY! And I will NEVER have the same "respect" for her since we had that e-mail fight a while ago. My god, I read her journal entry like a half hour before she sent me that "concerned" e-mail, she was totally Anti-Lauren! She said I killing Mom and tearing the family apart! And that I take advantage of Mom! Of course but I learned it from her, DUH! She needs a wake up call. She acts like she's the princess, she's the best daughter in the world..she thinks she a saint. And angel. WELL I GOT NEWS FOR YOU NATASHA LYNN FARRINGTON. YOU ARE FAR FROM A SAINT. God she is so painful. And she thinks I make everything up because "she's in college and getting all the attention now" SORRY. I AM NO ATTENTION WHORE. THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE. I GUESS YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE YOUNGER SIBLING. I don't want to anything to satisfy her anymore. All I want is for her to GET OUT of my life and back into college. We had a better relationship when she was there. So she should go back. Right now. BLARG!

God, I am so sorry I couldn't live up to your aspectations Tasha. Wait...no, no I'm not. If I wanted to be a bitch, a scumbag, a DOUCHEBAG even, a hypocritical control freak like you, I would have done that a loooong time ago. But you've already rubbed off on me. I am already becoming JUST as bad as you are.

I hope she reads this and CRIES IN A DARK CORNER. She deserves it. She wants me to go to her for advice and such...but she doesn't even believe the things I am going through. She an take her disbelief and shove it up her ass. I don't want her in my life anymore.

Today was gonna be the day but they'll never throw it back to you... ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5665611/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5665611/ Thu, 16 Jun 2005 11:11:28 PDT
Mood: Puzzled
Listening to: Wonderwall
Reading: Cowboy Bebop Vol. 3
Watching: None at the moment

So I guess...DA is giving people a free subscriber trial thing for a week..? I am lost cause I thought it was another ad for the Summit and I clicked continue and now it says I am a subscriber...but I think I will just kick back and enjoy it for 7 days.

Everyone is in the hospital today. Of course, aside from me and my sister. What IS her problem!? This morning she threatened to pour water on me so I would go to school...but HOW can I go to school when my papap is going to die within the next 24 hours!? How can she threaten me like that!/ and my father yelled at me to get up. And I cried. I cry a lot. I feel pathetic. But anyway. Mum came home and she is the only one who actually listens to my reasoning. Had I gone to school I just know would I burst into tears at any random point in the day. GR on my family. Everyone is leeeeaving me. And grr on everyone else. I dun know why. I just feel like saying that.

Totally into FLCL. Fooly Cooly. Hee hee.

~L

Today was gonna be the day but they'll never throw it back to you... ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5658840/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5658840/ Wed, 15 Jun 2005 18:34:46 PDT
So he's gonna die. Oh how I wish it were me and not him.

I will need extreme will power tonight...oh I want some Ben and Jerry to comfort me. Nothing like Ben, Jerry, and Edo. Hmm.

Why must my family life fall apart? When I start to do well why must my world crumble underneath me? Why does something always have to go WRONG!?

Well, my cleanliness is about to go down the drain.

And 2 weeks before my birthday..

Hmph. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5648880/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5648880/ Tue, 14 Jun 2005 17:42:56 PDT
Everything with Molly is worked out now. I guess...I am all she talks about with Jeremy. She needs her space too I guess and her time with Jeremy and I need to stop be so protective. But she is my pimp afterall.

Chapter seven of my lovely most successful story is up. You all seem to love it so much. I am thankful for that.

<3 Makeshift heart!

Anyway. Thank you Ariel for hearing Molly rants. I think jealousy was clouding my view...and. I am too cool for one person to live without me. Oh yeah.

Well. Drama drama. It all is so...smelly.

I'm on a good start, 2 days of cleanliness. It kinda looks bad though. TT.TT

Cheer me on guys!

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5637828/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5637828/ Mon, 13 Jun 2005 18:31:26 PDT
In math, heard from Teresa that of the preppy chicks, Alexa, was crying in the bathroom. Was wondering why..and then Kate said "Pepyne probably broke up with her." GOD. WHY CAN'T ANYONE CALL HIM BY HIS FIRST NAME!? AT LEAST THAT NAUSEATE ME! *cough* Well. Anyway.

Was forced to work in the same room as Jon today. Working with the preppy girls has its disadvantage. they do take over sometimes...but they want to be with Jon. Couldn't help but say something to him when I saw him stirring paint with his fingers...GOD some people are SO immature about these things...what a way to make a MESS. Back to my point: Jon, Rachel, Ally and Caroline were talking about Alexa and why people don't like her. Cause she talks shit.

Late on the bus, Rachel was talking about her to me and Terea (cause I told Teresa about why Alexa was crying) and Rachel started to say (I knew that was it, I just knew, she got out half of "suck" and I knew what was gonna come next) that Alexa sucked him off on the bus home but she said "nevermind" instead. I think I may have given her an intense "NO" look. I do that sometimes. I got bad images...flashbacks of my dreams, the scent and sound. I was glad she shut up, I can keep thinking she meant to say something else. But I guess they broke up...so if I am dreamingmup premonitions, than it is or isn't her. If they're broken up, he might not nothing to do with her...if not, than he'd go after he after haven broken up cause...I don't know. But some people are desperate...

SO I say gag me with a spoon to that.

Been feeling a major gap between and Molly lately. I hate to admit it but I am *extremely* jealous of Jeremy. That is all she cares about. Sure it's all fine and dandy when nothing relates to him, but she gets all sad when something does remind her of him. And we just aren't the same. I don't know who's to blame, me or her. But we are seriously drifting. She doesn't tell me anything anymore. So why should I tell her anything? Keeping everything from everyone makes me worse. Which was probably my problem in Gettysburg. No one would want to hear it if I said anything about it anyway. i dropped hints, several times, but my friends are too blind to see it. I don't know if I should even BOTHER anymore, maybe I would just be better off dead. Least that way Molly wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. Wouldn't have to "worry" about all my problems. This is like when I became friends with Ariel, she kept saying she didn't want to see me hurt. (Just kind of ignore this Ariel, don't tell her I am mentioning this but I need it out) She told me if we got too close she'd treat me like shit. I don't ever see that happening. I feel like a dirty towel. I am her love and joy when she is single. Then she get s aboyfriend, and they are all she needs. Just forget me, that's right. I give up on love. And friendship. No one cares anyway. Well, cept you guys. But that makes me feel like a loser...having only online friends. I was happy for Molly for a while...like an hour. Then he was all she talked about. ALL. Like she wouldn't shut up about him. I hung up on her a few minutes ago. She was trying tov say something. I lied and said I had stuff to do, and didn't want to hear another word from her. One of the only times I ever hung up without saying I love you to her. She wouldn't want to hear it anyway, I figure, the only person who can't say that to her now is Jeremy. I have no problem with them going out. My problem is that he is ALL she cares about. Have I said that before? Yes. But you know what? I feel like balling. Forever Molly has been like..I don't know, and now that we're at this point in our lives...we're heading toward different pathes. And making new friends. And getting into pointless relationships. And it hurts. We're becoming so different I just feel like she gives up on me and just moves on. Like, she's miss musician, and I'm little miss anime freak. I feel like I am only a small part in her life right now. And maybe I am. But as much as she may push me away she is always going to be the best thing in my life. I just hope we won't ever drift so far that we don't ever call. Already she spends most of the time on the phone with Jeremy. Yes, I am jealous. But I called earlier, and she was on the phone with him..so she said we could 3 way. I got on, and she asks why I called. I never used to have a reaosn before. And I asked why I had to have a reason, and she said just because. Guess I interupted something important.

GOd. ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5628423/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5628423/ Sun, 12 Jun 2005 15:16:09 PDT
Just joined ICQ and posted some messages on the Self-Injury boards. A support group was all I was really looking for.

I've given up on kiribans for now cause everyone misses it. Heh.

Getting into Samurai Champloo. That show looks fucking awesome. I am current'y trying to download episode one, and I'll have to start watching it at 11:30 on Saturdays. All I need now is a program that will play AVI files and TV in my room.

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5619459/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5619459/ Sat, 11 Jun 2005 16:48:35 PDT
So yeah...good luck...?

Anyway, I feel like this is way overdue. I love all of my DA friends, including my two offline friends Ariel and Amberwho have recently joined DA. But I have to thank especially and all who have been a major help to me in my struggle to overcome cutting and stuff. You've really been a big help. and I appreciate all of your support. There have been a few others like and (who is never on...) who have also helped me with all my problems. I feel bad because you all care about me so much even though you've never even met me. And I say so many things to you all, including that I'll try my hardest not to cut again and I always betray you guys and myself. I just feel like I can always try harder and I don't. I'm sorry you guys...I love you all so much, just as much as you love me if not more, it feels quite nice to know that you've got people who are always willing to listen and help.

OMG OMFG! I sent this to Ariel the first time and she got scared. I watched it again and I watched it the whole way through and OMFG. I will not sleep tonight thanks to it. EEP! I ish so scurred! [link]

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628 http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5613267/ http://phantomgirl628.deviantart.com/journal/5613267/ Fri, 10 Jun 2005 20:50:13 PDT
Gettysburg was fun especially being on the bus cause we are all lazy bums and enjoy our AC. When we would step off the bus we'd start sweating, that is how hot it was there. But it was still fun.

By the end of the trip though...I just wanted to kill my roommates. I mean seriously, one minute Kate would be depressed and crying, and the next laughing hysterically. One minute she'd hang with me and Liz, and the next she'd ditch me and Liz so her and Morgan could go talk to some people Morgan CLAIMS not to like but is completely attatched. And they always say "Blaze/Alan/Zach likes me!" and what am I supposed to say after the 15 millionth time? Ha ha AGAIN? They misread everything! I just want people to grow up sometimes...and to quit ditching their roommates! God. First Morgan would ditch. Then Kate. And we wouldn't see them till we got back on the bus. And even so, Kate would pretty much ignore me (I dunno about Liz, I got so fed up with them I just slept the whole time) and talk to Morgan! Probably about how much each of their guy friends likes them. Don't get me wrong, they are both mad pretty. But seriously, there is a fine line between joking around in a sexual manner and liking someone in that way. They need to know the difference.

Or maybe it's me that's misreading everything...maybe I'm just jealous because Kate loves Morgan and Alan and Blaze and Zach more than me...god.

I spent most of the second night in the bathroom "showering". I lied about taking a super long shower. Don't hate me for this but I made 4 new cuts before I showered.And I was deathly close to killing myself. I just felt so worthless...I made 6 cuts the night before, because Liz went to the hospital...yet Kate still managed to be her giggly bubbly self after crying for about 30 minutes. God. Everyone pisses me off...Even the ones I love the most. Why am I such a fucking bitch? I make no fucking sense.

Birthday: June 28th. Can't wait.

End of school: June 17th. It has been brutally hot lately.

I found out that I am one pageview away from the Kiriban! lol wow.

Um...

Yeah.

Requests: Open. I like being generous so...ask me to draw you something if you want me too.

Already, I've been asked by some of my friends at school to draw them a picture. People love me, what can I say? The thing is, I don't even think I'm that great. I keep trying to improve. Reference is good for that I've learned.

Well, I have to sleep and tomorrow I can hopefully work on some stories.

~L ]]> ~phantomgirl628