http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:philostrate&section=today deviantART RSS for by:philostrate en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 25 Nov 2009 06:52:12 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/22405566/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/22405566/ Sun, 04 Jan 2009 23:55:56 PST
I see a glazing light flashing on and off, out of my window, from a building downstairs. Strange and beautiful. It looks like someone's lighting a cigarette, but it's way too strong for that.

Anyway, we've been working on the album almost non-stop and it's almost finished now. A couple months more and it will be ready... I think.
It's coming along nicely, just need to record some guest vocals, write and intro here and there and mix all the tracks cohesively and we'll be done. ^_^
Last night I got to bed at eight in the morning. I guess It will be around the same time tonight, but damn, it just makes me feel good, y'a know?

'Cus you guys are such good sports, I'm releasing a free song that I wrote in order to give my mother this xmas. It's called "Como quem olha pela primeira vez para a casa onde nasceu" (Looking for the first time onto the house he was born). This one is a solo work, so there's none of those amazing beats that C makes so well and the song is "a bit" on the cinematic side, you know? Any way hope you enjoy it. You can get it here:

[link]

Oh, hell, and why not? What about a special sneak preview of one of the singles? Here you go:

[link]

So... This is what I've been up to in the last couple of months. That's why it took me so long to answer your messages or see your "new" works or thanks your fav's.

So now I'm going to light up a cigarette, watch an old episode of Coupling (I used to be real into it back in the day), have a few laughs a get some shut eye.

Catch you all soon,
D.


http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/21047613/ Sat, 18 Oct 2008 13:04:44 PDT
This verbal writing rut is starting to go on for way too long... I'm getting annoyed.

Anyway... Saw a great movie this week ("Old Boy"), been reading a great book ("Inside Steve's Brain"), which I recommend any creative mind to have by it's bead-side.


~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/20820828/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/20820828/ Sat, 04 Oct 2008 07:27:04 PDT
~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/20719176/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/20719176/ Sun, 28 Sep 2008 08:22:17 PDT
"It's unfortunate
but when we feel it stop
we can roll ourselves over
'cus we're uncomfortable

Oh, well... The devil makes us sin
but we like it when we're sinning...
(?)

Love is like a sin, my love!
For the one that heals in the noise
Look at her, with her eyes like a flame
She will love like a fly will never love you

Oh! Well...

It's unfortunate
but when we feel it stop
we can roll ourselves over
when we're uncomfortable

Oh, well... The devil makes us sin
but we like it when we're sining...
Yeah, real good!

Love is like a sin, my love
For the one that heals in the noise
Lock her with her smile at the flame
She will love like a fly will never love you"


Featured at: [link] September edition.


~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/20652047/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/20652047/ Wed, 24 Sep 2008 13:27:11 PDT [link] September edition, random top10 (is it random because the order is chosen at random, or because the Deviants in it are chosen at random? Hum... I'm betting my ego's going to get hurt...)

In the meantime, as the orientation for the TVShow OST, and the involvement of the other members on their own personal projects, the band (Doppelganger, [link] ) hasn't been too active. Has a result, I started two different collaborations w/two different musicians. One of which is going so well (the one w/C-Sar [link] ) that we decided to form a new band (I should say sound system, really).

I can promise you that I have never heard anything that sounds like us. It's something like Massive Attack and Aphex Twin collided... but not quite. Dark bases & ambiance, clear and bright guitars, crazy glitchy and arrhythmic beats... Yeah, I'm getting really into it and having a lot of fun in the process. I'm hopping I'll have something to share w/u next week.

Oh, by the way I now have to wear glasses full time.


~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/20397976/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/20397976/ Mon, 08 Sep 2008 19:44:13 PDT I forgot to breathe again.
In this moment we shine,
Burn to ember every time.

When i was trying to shelter,
I forgot to rescue you.
In these moments we drown,
Take this rose with thorns to crown.

Every time i fall i am ascending.
Every time you call me near.
Only when we slip the need is ending.
Mirror i am letting go.

When you were trying to save me,
You forgot to let me go.
In this freedom we found,
Raining stars down to the ground.

And with the truth in your hands,
You concealed it with your lies
In this moment we drowned,
Lost more than we ever found.

Every time i fall i am ascending,
Every time you call me near.
Only when we slip the need is ending
Mirror i am letting go..."
- Aftersun by Massive Attack

When you're able to write a song like this and not even release it to the mainstream, there can be no doubt that you're among an selected few.

(I just wanted to get the old post out of here)


http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/20345886/ Fri, 05 Sep 2008 18:55:33 PDT - Charlie Kaufman in Adaptation

If there was a word that would define my life I'm not sure what would be. Strange comes to mind, but that's not it. It just comes to mind often. Some kind of sense of misplacement.

As I write this I'm working on a song (Stealth is the name) that is dealing with what is on my mind right now. The problem is that what's on my mind is not what's on my mind.

I am going through a strange period of my life indeed. Years ago, when I was finishing high-school, I wrote and wrote poems and lyrics, and in a way, songs, but not exactly. At that point I met M. I moved to England in order to learn how to actually write songs and so I did. Soon after I started learning how to write songs me and M parted ways, which actually came to be the reason why I became a proficient song-writer. In a strange way, of course.

I guess I was content being with M, so I wasn't evolving (or learning all that much) during that time. Once we parted ways, my focus shifted almost exclusively to my music and with all the frustration that comes now and again for working on this, so it was.

Mixed feelings. I didn't want to part ways, but, if I am any good at this (and now and again I do think I am), I am because we did. Part ways, that is.

But of course, I digress. Why does any of this matter? Well, do you remember the time where I told you that when I met M I was writing, but I couldn't write songs? Well, it seems that right now I'm writing songs, but I can't put words on paper. Well (is the repetition getting to you yet?), of course I can put words onto paper, since I'm doing this right now (well, sort of), just not in a form of half-decent lyrics or poetry.

Stealth first came to mind one afternoon, not that long ago, as I was driving along the beautiful Serra de Sintra. Bull****! I was stuck in trafic in the middle of Lisbon, but I would be driving through there an hour later, although when I was driving through the Serra de Sintra I wasn't thinking about the song. I was thinking - or rather, wishing - that the cigarette that I had just drooped onto my seat would be put out if I just kept jumping up and down, while keeping the car on the road.

In any case, it first came then. Later, that same day I went out with a girl I've been flirting with (or so I thought), and I got so bored and frustrated on the club we were at, that I actually found myself looking out onto a huge cargo boat that was "parked" (what's the right word for this?) next to the club and wishing I'd sneak in and just leave that darned place. So the concept of Stealth came back to me. I entertained it for awhile in my mind, kinda making time, hanging onto the lost hope that the night would turn around, kinda thinking seriously about it, until I finally gave up on the night, said my goodbyes, and gave up on someone who I had probably just misinterpreted.

I got home at about a-quater-past-three and just worked on the song for the next four hours. The next day I worked on it all day, but again, I couldn't write a single line. The base of the song is laid down, the concept I want to write about (entering stealthily onto the boat as an analogy of the parallels of love and war) is well defined and clear in my head, and yet, I can't write a single line. This is the second time in a row that this happens to me. I have a song on hold because I couldn't write the lyrics for it. Now, I guess, I have two. I'm officially with a writers block. Stealth does seem to work fine without lyrics, but I've not given up yet.

If anyone wishes to collaborate and give it a shot writing the lyrics, feel free, we'll give it a try and see how it works. In order to facilitate I'm making available a small preview of Stealth here [link] .

In the meantime we'll be working on a small movie to accompany the release of Stealth.

I really feel like watching Adaptation...


http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/19991888/ Sat, 16 Aug 2008 17:39:03 PDT
I've been out, so I'd like to apologize to those whose messages I haven't yet replied to.
I've been locked with a new band in studio and such writing and recording. Next week we're going to start working in a song for the generic & credits of a TV Show that is going to start in late Septembre in Sic Mulher (A Portuguese Channel) TV Network, so I won't be around much either.

Fell free to visit us at [link]

I'll try to come back soon.

All the best!

~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/18419898/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/18419898/ Tue, 20 May 2008 17:49:32 PDT
So Bill, this one is for you, buddy.


http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/18386564/ Sun, 18 May 2008 16:41:05 PDT
"Whilst we should be able to expect the next Massive Attack album around October this year, we can also look forward to a special release in June around Meltdown."
- From Massive Attack's myspace blog.

Well, so the date for the release is finally more or less set. Real cool. Apparently they'll have collaborations with Snoop Dog(?!), Tunde Adebimpe & Dave Sitek (from TV on Radio), Stephanie Dosen, Horace Andy (as usual), Elizabeth Frazer (she's back! yhey!), Damon Albarn (from Blur and Gorilaz), Dot Allison (I think I've heard this track already), Hope Sandoval and Mike Patton (from many, many projects, like Faith No More, Fantômas, Tomahawk, Peeping Tom...). That's nine (9) collaborations. Will they present any vocals by themselves in this new album? Oh, and by the by, it is definite now that the album title will not be Weather Underground (no name reveled just yet). They also have another (being the forth in a year) sound track for a movie: Gomorra. The other soundtracks include In Prison My Whole Life, Battle in Seattle and Trouble Water, a documentary about the floods in New Orleans.

(you can see the Gomorra trailer at [link] ,the trailer for In prision my whole life at [link] and some videos on Battle in Seattle on [link] . I couldn't find any trailer on Trouble Water, so if you can, let me know.)

"Mushroom's long forthcoming album had the working title of Champagne"
- From Red-Lines

Nice. So the long strayed MA member will release a solo work? Nice, real nice.

On another note...

... As I listen to the beautiful start of The Crystal ship - "Before you slip into unconsciousness , I'd like to have another kiss. Another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss." - I realise: «I really f*cked things up, didn't I?». A hit-n-miss, an exaggeration understood by little more than none. "C'est la vie", they will tell me. They're wrong. "C'est ma vie".

(Do you understand, or is it to you just another exaggeration?)

All the best.


http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/18085450/ Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:05:37 PDT There is little to this after noon - if anything at all - that is accidental. Just earlier, before I left my house - not my home, but still, the place where I was returning to now - I picked up my acoustic guitar and (unknowingly) started playing "Over" by Portishead.
(So simple. I had never tried before - but I didn't try then, did I? - and it all came, so naturally. Was this the impact of the narcotics?)
When I couldn't stretch time anymore (I was already half-an-hour late) I laid the guitar down swiftly, and, headed out.

Hours later (I guess it was an hour later, but I'm not sure) I arrived at the pub. I shook Philip's hand, and then Michael's, before I kissed my own hand and with this touched Simone hand (she was inaccessible for our usual kiss on the cheek). I was smiling. Half forced, half true. Half me, half you. (I think that the drugs made me feel light, unbothered by the world, which in turn, made me smile.)
I ordered a pint of lagger and I sat down. I started reading the preface of Aldous Huxley "The Doors of Perception" and the rest of the afternoon unfold unto its place.

(Again,) as I was walking down the street, a cigarette in one hand, headphones on my head, hair flaming randomly, I realise;
This book ["The Doors of Perception"] is one more step unto the less taken road, one more step on the dammed road. One step farther away.
(I had soon discovered how I'm perceived by others, and why I am perceived as such. I had realised how "far out" and "detached" - and other adjectives they were now using - from reality I was. Even what was beautiful for others was now *ordinary* for me, and what was beautiful for me was either too *alternative* or too *dark* for others. By this point, what shocked them had no effect on me, and what shocked me, would be a revolution on their minds.)

I arrive and immediately go onto the bedroom, pick the guitar and start playing Portishead's "Over" again. And I sing:

" I can't hold this state,
Anymore...
Understand me...
Anymore.

To tread this fantasy, openly,
What have I done?!
Oh, this uncertainty,
Is taking me over.

I can't mould this stage,
Anymore...
Recognize me,
Anymore.

To tread this fantasy, openly,
What have I done.
Oh, this uncertainty,
Is taking me over,
Is taking me over..."

(extract from After The Night)


~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/18043575/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/18043575/ Sat, 26 Apr 2008 18:58:36 PDT Cântico negro

José Régio


"Vem por aqui" — dizem-me alguns com os olhos doces
Estendendo-me os braços, e seguros
De que seria bom que eu os ouvisse
Quando me dizem: "vem por aqui!"
Eu olho-os com olhos lassos,
(Há, nos olhos meus, ironias e cansaços)
E cruzo os braços,
E nunca vou por ali...
A minha glória é esta:
Criar desumanidades!
Não acompanhar ninguém.
— Que eu vivo com o mesmo sem-vontade
Com que rasguei o ventre à minha mãe
Não, não vou por aí! Só vou por onde
Me levam meus prórios passos...
Se ao que busco saber nenhum de vós responde
Por que me repetis: "vem por aqui!"?

Prefiro escorregar nos becos lamacentos,
Redemoinhar aos ventos,
Como farrapos, arrastar os pés sangrentos,
A ir por aí...
Se vim ao mundo, foi
Só para desflorar florestas virgens,
E desenhar meus prórios pés na areia inexplorada!
O mais que faço não vale nada.

Como, pois, sereis vós
Que me dareis impulsos, ferramentas e coragem
Para eu derrubar os meus obstáculos?...
Corre, nas vossas veias, sangue velho dos avós,
E vós amais o que é fácil!
Eu amo o Longe e a Miragem,
Amo os abismos, as torrentes, os desertos...

Ide! Tendes estradas,
Tendes jardins, tendes canteiros,
Tendes pátria, tendes tetos,
E tendes regras, e tratados, e filósofos, e sábios...
Eu tenho a minha Loucura !
Levanto-a, como um facho, a arder na noite escura,
E sinto espuma, e sangue, e cânticos nos lábios...
Deus e o Diabo é que guiam, mais ninguém!
Todos tiveram pai, todos tiveram mãe;
Mas eu, que nunca principio nem acabo,
Nasci do amor que há entre Deus e o Diabo.

Ah, que ninguém me dê piedosas intenções,
Ninguém me peça definições!
Ninguém me diga: "vem por aqui"!
A minha vida é um vendaval que se soltou,
É uma onda que se alevantou,
É um átomo a mais que se animou...
Não sei por onde vou,
Não sei para onde vou
Sei que não vou por aí!


http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/17869195/ Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:56:41 PDT The Doors with some of the best interpretations of their work that I have ever seen. Excellent.

dEUS new album is coming out very soon. Latter this week (on the 18th). If it sounds the two singles that have come out, then one can be very exited. Faithful to themselves, just more mature. Nice. And their coming to perform live in Portugal on the 2nd of August., on the Paredes de Coura music festival. You can hear the singles in their site, their official myspace or on youtube.

A month ago Portishead started their european tour in Portugal, providing a great concert, to which it will in a week or so (between the 23rd or 28th) be followed by the "official" release of their album, after a long eleven (11!) years break from their second album. I say "oficial" because it was been leaked a long time ago and I can say that it is brilliant, but much more experimental and raw. Good thing I've already ordered the box-set.

Later this year it has been promised by Massive Attack the release of their new album (Weather Underground, if they stick to the name they've been planning for it). The first and only single came out on the middle of 2006, or something like that, and it is again, very promising.

All and all, this looks like a great year.


~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/17836599/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/17836599/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 17:27:48 PDT Game On.
Old friends.
Uncaring.
Hit-n-miss.
Memory and fantasies.
Rain.
Gloom.
Ran out of words.
Uncooperative.
Sabotage.
Cease worrying.
Friend.
Mania.
Play to lose.


http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/17784773/ Thu, 10 Apr 2008 18:18:13 PDT
This is The End, beautiful friend
This is The End, my only friend, The End

Of our elaborate plans, The End
Of everything that stands, The End
No safety or surprise, The End
I'll never look into your eyes again

Can you picture what we'll be?
So limitless and free
Desperately in need of some stranger's hand
In a desperate land

Lost in a Roman wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain, yeah

There's danger on the edge of town
Ride the king's highway, baby
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway west, baby

Ride the snake, ride the snake
To the lake, the ancient lake, baby
The snake, he's long, seven miles
Ride the snake, he's old, and his skin is cold

The west is the best
The west is the best
Get here, and we'll do the rest

The blue bus is callin' us
The blue bus is callin' us
Driver, where you taken' us?

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went into the room where his sister lived, and, then he
Paid a visit to his brother, and then he
He walked on down the hall, and
And he came to a door, and he looked inside
Father, yes son, I want to kill you
Mother, I want to, fuck you

C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
On a blue bus
Doin' a blue rock
C'mon, yeah

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill

This is The End
Beautiful friend
This is The End
My only friend, The End

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me
The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is The End


http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/17704273/ Sat, 05 Apr 2008 18:55:35 PDT
All the best.


~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/17652550/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/17652550/ Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:22:04 PDT

http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/17160860/ Mon, 03 Mar 2008 07:55:40 PST
Today I wanted to post in my "mood" something like "cool", 'cause I do feel frigging cool today, but DA doesn't have "cool", so I went with the next best thing. I want "cool".

All the best.


~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/17058924/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/17058924/ Mon, 25 Feb 2008 14:26:35 PST Portishead - Biscuit

I'm lost, exposed,
Stranger things will come your way,
It's just I'm scared,
Got hurt a long time ago,
Can't make myself heard,
No matter how hard I scream.

Oh sensation,
Sin, slave of sensation.

Fully fed yet I still hunger,
Torn inside,
Haunted I tell myself yet I still wander,
Down, inside,
It's tearing me apart.

Oh sensation,
Sin, slave of sensation.

"I'll never fall in love again,
It's all over now."

At last, relief,
A mother's son has left me sheer,
The shores I seek,
Are crimson tastes devine,
Can't make myself heard,
No matter how hard I scream.

Oh sensation,
Sin, slave of sensation,

"I'll never fall in love again,
It's all over now."


http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/17028913/ Sat, 23 Feb 2008 16:45:27 PST

http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/16870350/ Wed, 13 Feb 2008 19:42:21 PST She's recreating a whole new world
half a globe away

I would ask but is not your trait
to change a twirled view
so kept at bay

Incited fear, living night-terror
wide awake, claim for peace
hounded eye sees figure dreams

Your obsessed with figure dreams
take me out of them
figure dreams
Your obsessed with figure dreams" - eCollide


http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/16711101/ Sun, 03 Feb 2008 17:03:03 PST


~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/16572057/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/16572057/ Fri, 25 Jan 2008 19:45:49 PST
<... ]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/16384541/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/16384541/ Sun, 13 Jan 2008 16:24:54 PST The Protestant Ethic


http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/16384510/ Sun, 13 Jan 2008 08:53:01 PST ...
~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/16317884/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/16317884/ Tue, 08 Jan 2008 15:42:39 PST
But this time it's somewhat different. I stumbled across this incredible artist almost by accident, when I saw a very simple, yet well executed piece of his work and as I usually do, I check his gallery to see if it had been a "one timer" or if he did maintain that level of quality.

So, imagine my delight as I figure out that is gallery is even better. This kid is absolutely amazing, a visual savant, each image unique - creatively, technically - and with a rare general "mood" passed on, something that doesn't come along every day. I've been impressed like I seldom are.

It seems unfair to other gifted artists or pieces, like Wodanislav's Insanity (which had a similar impact on me, the last time a piece had that impact actually), but I can't go without urging everyone that will read this journal to go check out

Dream on...

...
~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/16128453/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/16128453/ Thu, 27 Dec 2007 18:39:21 PST
(by The Eat)
Crossroads
a place where ropes abide
waiting for the pain of strangers...
and present them to their fate

It's fighter bends!
they fall again in the dark on the ghost of their blood
how do you call us?
your mother pries to pay

Too many changes.
that's rough!
Some real life and free...
freedom from the wild ways that is living hate.

Crossroads!
a place where times divide
gambling is the way of loaners
we (??) them to be (??)

infected minds
emerge on the edge of the death of their songs
why do you hurt them?
your mother lies,
you said...

And things never change
that thought
wait to your life and free
free you from the slumbers,
but it's getting late.

...
http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/16047367/ Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:59:19 PST With these eyes out into darkness
And it is so strange
All they want to do is sleep
And it is so strange
They want to sleep through silence
And it is so strange
'Cause I am wide awake

And it is so strange
How all this could be over
If you would walk in
If you put me to rest
And it is so strange
That my voice seems to've gone quiet
And even stranger still
That I never will be found

All I want to do
Is to drift away
Hush-a-bye baby
All I want to do is go to sleep
To sleep, to sleep
(Anja Garbarek)

Gift
http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/15365140/ Sun, 04 Nov 2007 16:24:02 PST mistery that seduce a theory towards misticism find its rational solution in human praxis and in the understanding of set praxis."

--- Marx, Karl; Teses about Feuerbach, page 2, paragraph 8

Friends, Family & Gifted Artits
http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/14925471/ Fri, 05 Oct 2007 11:01:31 PDT
Friends, Family & Gifted Artits





~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/14005548/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/14005548/ Fri, 03 Aug 2007 18:19:57 PDT
]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/13932222/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/13932222/ Sun, 29 Jul 2007 19:50:27 PDT The 'ifs' rule my thoughts, as they wonder on 'what could have been'...
Now your face is imprinted in my eyes,
and your voice in mine ears,
and to think that all started in such a simple conversation;
I didn't meant for this, I didn't want this, I certainly didn't want this...
But I do want you.

"Again" starts playing on my mind,
and I ask myself if you're "a truth I rather have lay beside that to never have tryed at all" or if "without your love I'm dowsed in madness".

I won't foget our nights,
as shorttermed as they were,
I lived more then, then on a thounsand nights before.

Or the sign on your chek,
Or your challenging smile,
Or how with a look you said you wanted me,
and I was yours.

Friends, Family & Gifted Artits




~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/13611342/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/13611342/ Wed, 04 Jul 2007 18:43:45 PDT
Much time this week as been passed working on the new album (I have to say it's exeding my expetations), composed three new songs and am in the process of recording them everytime I find a free slot that as not to be filled with other peoples expectations and prior comitments.

I find that some of these events constitute the way to hide myself from myself, and that it is alot easier do to that than to hide from others.

Still, I realize that other events become essencial to the upbringing of the feelings that lead me to compose and to do it well. To write, to express myself creatively, instead of just feeding some narcicistic ego within me.

No promises. Desires.
No engagements. Enjoyment.

Emotions rage in a peacefull chaotic order within me.

My mind wonders at the bottom line, finding the concepts hidden between the lines.

Friends, Family & Gifted Artits




~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/12434124/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/12434124/ Mon, 02 Apr 2007 17:11:00 PDT
I'm so sorry I've been of lately. Been crazy busy.

Because I will continue to be that busy, probably in the next years (!!), I've reduced my devWatch list to some people that are closer to me, people I'd like to follow their progress. Trust me, it's my lost, I know, but I simply don't have the time to do this anymore and if I get back here and see more than 500 (!!!) new deviations and 1,000 + messages, I end up not seeing or reading any of them.

I will come where a bit more often now, I hope, but still not as frequently as before.
I'll take this night in order to submit some things I wrote along this month.

I hope this finds you all well, and I appologize for not been following your progress to closely, trust me, I haven't forgot about any of you.

All the best.

IamX - The Alternative - S.H.E.

You have been left alone
The creature of innocence
You lie for what you're worth
And struggle with your confidence

And when your devil complains
And tears you up, to start again
And when you're lying on your stage
And nothing works, just living hurts

Forget, forget
With the secret harmonic emotion
Forget, forget
With the secret harmonic emotion

And so we meet again
To players in a puppet show
Don't cry for audience
There's noone that can take you home

And when your devil complains
And tears you up, to start again
And when you're lying on your stage
And nothing works, just living hurts

Forget, forget
With the secret harmonic emotion
Forget, forget
With the secret harmonic emotion
Forget, forget
With the secret harmonic emotion

Forget, forget
With the secret harmonic emotion
Forget, forget
With the secret harmonic emotion

Friends, Family & Gifted Artits



http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/11787382/ Mon, 12 Feb 2007 15:30:19 PST I

Time...
Relentleless.

February is going to be a really hard month due to lack of time for everything. Between Uni and work there isn't much left.

So I'm sorry if I'm not answering the msgs you're sending. I'll promise that I'll answer all the latest next month.

All the best.

II

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
(Sonnet XVII - Pablo Neruda)

Friends, Family & Gifted Artits




http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/11670373/ Sun, 04 Feb 2007 06:15:09 PST
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul. (Pablo Neruda)

----------------------------------------------------

II

I should not be posting anything new on the weeks to come, execpt, perhaps, a new poem I'm working on. My Camera is broken, but even if it wasn't the ideas I've been having need some resources that I don't have right now. Furthermore, I want to concentrate on my music. Things are coming slowly, but smoothly.

----------------------------------------------------

III

Time to wake up by Julie Delpy

it's time to wake up
it's time to stand up
it's time to step outside

it's time to decide
it's time to find out
if we're gonna live or die...

...I don't want to go
I don't want to leave
my only reason is love

like a fruit too green
to green to let go of it's three!

I'm not going to wake up
I'm not going to stand up
I'm not going to step outside

I'm going to hold you,
hold you so tight
and look you in the eyes

I want to feel your heartbeat
I want to feel you... alive around me!
So close like the bar
wrapped aroud it's three!

Je ne veux pas te laisser
Te laisser aller · ta destinÈ
Comme un fruit trop vert
Qui ne peut se dÈfaire de son arbre

I don't want us to be
just a moment in my memory

Sur l'Èchelle de un a dix
Je t'aime ‡ 100%...100%
Pour le meilheur et pour le pire
Le pire est le temp
Si tu crois que l'on crois souvent des amour tout court
Une foi, une vie, la nuit passant
Peu Ítre, peut Ítre pas
Alors restons ensemble
Au moin jusque la fin...la fin de tout
Non...la fin de tout ensemble
Enfin on verra bien
Prend bien soin de toi
Une heure passe en noir et surtout ne prend pas froid
Voil·...c'est tout.

----------------------------------------------------

Friends, Family & Gifted Artits



http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/11437637/ Sun, 14 Jan 2007 17:02:52 PST Something eating it up from inside, piercing through his skin, tearing every piece of muscle apart, crushing is flesh, pound by pound.
Decaying, devastating self-destruction, while everything hurts, so much. So much that he almost feels numb untill...
F*ck! Until, another volcano of pain brusts, hot lava consuming all in its path, and yet, not allowed to show is sorrows, his pain, his anger. They all want all to be happy, smiling from the outside, while they comment how f*cked each other are, their problems, why should they resolve them, how should they solve them, how could they resolve them?

How can so much go on inside, when so little goes on outside? He's but statict, you could never guess what's going on, wishing, waiting for an end, praying for an end, as he holds himself aloft from all, felling dead for the outside world, everything is in an effort. If only he could scream, he only he didn't have to pretend, then, maybe, he could endure it all a second more, another brust.


Note to reader: If you never heard "Lights" by Archive, go listen to it. What a f'word of a great song!

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Friends, Family & Gifted Artits




http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/11214346/ Wed, 27 Dec 2006 17:52:57 PST A familiaridade de locais por onde divago com frequência, revisitada nessas fotos, implode na pergunta: Quem verei se tão simplesmente abrir os olhos?

A cada dia que passa, se me permito, a alma desta cidade invade o meu ser, e recordo com prazer a lingua de Pessoa. Recordo-me de quem fui e sinto-a a operar discretamente sobre mim; sem convite, mas bem vinda.

Na calçada vão permaneçendo as minhas pegadas, invisiveis, imperceptiveis, imutaveis. Dos passos que dei em criança, a melancolia e o sepia.

Dos que dou em adulto, com o sentimento de vergonha por me ter tornado no que me tornei, mas com esperança e agradecido, pelas mudanças que esta cidade impõe sobre mim.

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Friends, Family & Gifted Artits




http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/11054589/ Wed, 13 Dec 2006 18:26:09 PST Gonna survive, live and learn
I've been thinking about you baby
By the light of dawn, and in my blues
Day and night, I been missing you

I've been thinking about you baby
Almost makes me crazy
Come and live with me

Either way, win or lose
When you're born into trouble you live the blues

I've been thinking about you baby

See it almost makes me crazy child
Nothing's right if you ain't here
I'd give all that I have just to, keep you near
I wrote you a letter and tried to make it clear
That you just don't believe that, I'm sincere

I've been thinking about you baby

Plans and schemes, hopes and fears
Dreams I've denied for all these years

I've been thinking about you babe
Living with me, well
I've been thinking about you baby
Makes me wanna child

Nothing's right, if you ain't here
I give all that I have just to keep you near
I wrote you a letter darlin', trying to make it clear
How much you just don't believe that I'm sincere
Thinking about you baby, I want you near me

]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/11019173/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/11019173/ Sun, 10 Dec 2006 15:40:01 PST
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]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/10736727/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/10736727/ Wed, 15 Nov 2006 17:05:13 PST Fragmented Identity

Hope all is well.

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My Music: [link]

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Friends, Family & Gifted Artits


]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/10621563/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/10621563/ Sun, 05 Nov 2006 05:54:18 PST It takes a sunday to see
All that changed and been left behind.

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My Music: [link]

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Friends, Family & Gifted Artits


]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/10425958/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/10425958/ Tue, 17 Oct 2006 17:05:43 PDT De Profundis; Oscar Wilde

Today I got trough most of De Profundis and associated with somethings I have been thinking of, I came to a realization. A "eureka moment", my dear teacher, Dr. Iain Hammilton Grant, used to say... As a result I got to write again, I haven't been writting. And for a change, I did it in first person and not using dialogues or as if I was writting a letter to someone or a poem.

Feels good.

Oh yeah, and "National Anthem" by Radiohead has been in my head for almost two weeks now, I can't stop thinking about this damn song... oh well...

All the best.

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http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/10250219/ Sun, 01 Oct 2006 15:58:07 PDT It's the price you gotta pay
Do yourself a favour and pack you bags
Buy a ticket and get on the train
Buy a ticket and get on the train

Cause this is fucked up, fucked up
Cause this is fucked up, fucked up

People get crushed like biscuit crumbs
And laid down in the bed you made
You have tried your best to please everyone
But it just isn't happening
No, it just isn't happening

And it's fucked up, fucked up
And this is fucked up, fucked up
This your blind spot, blind spot
It should be obvious, but it's not.
But it isn't, but it isn't

You cannot kickstart a dead horse
You just crush yourself and walk away
I don't care what the future holds
Cause I'm right here and I'm today
With your fingers you can touch me

I'm your black swan, black swan
But I made it to the top, made it to the top
This is fucked up, fucked up

You are fucked up, fucked up
This is fucked up, fucked up

Be your black swan, black swan
I'm for spare parts, broken up

["Black Swan" by Thom Yorke]

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Friends, Family & Gifted Artits
http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/10193030/ Tue, 26 Sep 2006 13:30:11 PDT My body shakes. From within, spreading, growing, expanding into the outside, into my skin.
In my head thoughts race trough and a feeling of emptiness, lightness... white, all white.

Not good.

My fingers can't hold what they try to grasp, always one step ahead, eluding them, alluding... me.

The end comes abruptly, but not unexpectedly. Swiftly taking everything with it, touching everything it can, destroying every thing that's beautiful.

Decadent...

Wishes that it had been different are pointless. There's nothing that can be done now.
I'm not sure I have much to look forward too. And not much to look back on either. What is done is done, just a shame that most seems to have gone to waste.
If only...

Yes, if only! If only "if" need not be. If only it had no space in this story. If I had done years ago what I am about to do now, if I hadn't brought upon myself this fate, if I didn't take upon me to force myself to do what I didn't really want to, or perhaps, if I had realized this sooner... Maybe then I could...

...Oh! Who am I kidding? I could never. And that's the irony.

And all I'll carry with me. The hope that I can continue to be accompanied by a good soundtrack, like the one that Is accompanying me now.
Just one thing left to do. And that is to tell you: No.

No, this is not a story from a broken love. It is not a story about love or anything that might strike you as such. It is simply the story of a broken man. Or better, a man that has been ripped inside out. Not by love, although it had its part in this. No, rather because of the choices we took on and those he didn't.

When they told him that there were always time to go back he believed in them, but he forgot that he will never be five years old again. Or twelve. Fifteen, Sixteen or Seventeen. It's gone. And It's gone without him.

At least he has a good soundtrack with him...

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http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/10097895/ Sun, 17 Sep 2006 07:18:47 PDT I.

It's kind-a sad, you know? Well, on the other hand, no... it's not. It really is not. It is quite allright. I've been working so hard, I've been learning so much, changing, evolving, quiting, starting.
In the mean time, time, time... time goes by. I've been seeing, looking, reading, feeling - that - that there are quite a few - or alot of? - good works, scatered around here; Shame to miss so many of them, of not having enough time, time, time! to get to all.

On the other hand is kind-a my fault. I've been so busy with other stuff that I haven't been able to watch, see, look, observe, with the attention and ti... , I mean, dedication I would like to.

As a final note, I've been listening to The Eraser. Thom Yorke's solo album. I find the begining a bit shy, dissapointing, but after that the album gets some momentum and it gets really good. Fully advisable.

All the best!

II.

So yesterday it was sunny. So yesterday I decide it is a good day to do some laundry.
So today there's no sun. So today I stretch my clothes.
So now I've came back inside. So now I prepared a cup of tea.

Get into my room, and soon enough I have to go back down because it started raining. And you know, not real rain, just constant thin drops of water, as if the myst couldn't hold on any longer and decided to let go of every single drop very slowly, calmly, peacefuly.

Now I'm outside, getting my clothes again, and slowly, and I mean just as slowly as the rain is coming down, a spider-web starts taking shape in front of me.
What is happening is that the rain is so thin that is getting stuck in the web. On its turn, the web becomes visible, as if the touch of water is gently awakening it.

Beautiful.

So suddently I'm back in my childhood. Remembering those days where I would just watch the rain fall down, while rapt up in a duvet with a cup of hot coccoa in my hands and my dog in my lap.
Only just twelve years have passed, I'm not rapt up in a duve, my hot coccoa is tea and my dog is gone.

And I feel as happy now as I did back then...

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http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/10042919/ Mon, 11 Sep 2006 18:24:03 PDT
---EDIT---
Had a bit written here, but I figured it wasn't really appropriate.
---EDIT---

Strange, strange day...

.. but good.

All the best!
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My Music: [link]

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Friends, Family & Gifted Artits

]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9858434/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9858434/ Sat, 26 Aug 2006 05:18:32 PDT
I'll see you all soon and I'll reply to any and every menssage asap.

have a good one.
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My Music: [link]

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]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9540805/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9540805/ Sun, 30 Jul 2006 07:44:30 PDT
Just arrived from south Portugal.

Saw my scores.

Reading "Foucault's Pendulum".

"To be or not to be" has never been the question. To be is inevitable, not to be a wish. Perhaps it too, inevitable.











The fatality of all.

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My Music: [link]

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]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9368017/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9368017/ Thu, 13 Jul 2006 18:22:33 PDT
Bye.

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]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9260037/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9260037/ Mon, 03 Jul 2006 11:20:12 PDT El Otro Lado
by Josh Rouse

Called me up this evening
'Cus you wanted to know what's going on.
Gave me an ultimatum
'Cus you don't wanna feel you are alone!

And I tell you that some folks don't live all!
They contend with what they got!
They just sit back and they watch TV.

Talked about September
All about your taste - they where all mine.
What did you know anyhow,
when you said that I'm lost, but there's still time!

And I tell you that some folks don't live all
They contend with what they got!
They just sit back and they watch TV...
Yeah, I tell you that some folks don't live all!
They contend with what they got
They just sit back and they watch TV...
- Yeah, but that's not me!

One day!
You'll come around to see the other side of things...

One day!
You'll come around to see the other side of things...
- Yes you will
You'll come around and see the other side of things.

You'll come around and see the other side of things...

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]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9177468/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9177468/ Sun, 25 Jun 2006 10:21:44 PDT
Quiet Town
by Josh Rouse

I know somewhere there is a party going down
Interesting people, conversation to be found.
I lived in cities where there is no solitude,
made some friends there I hope I'll never lose;
But for now I want to stay in this quiet town...

The neighbours on my block
they got stories to tell;
This is the grocery where once was the hotel.
And Mr. Driskall, he just stands there with his smile,
inviting everyone he see's to come inside -
This is a lie! - I want to live in a quiet town...

Uuuh... Sometimes I miss the shown...
I learned a long time ago..

Uuuh... Sometimes I miss the shown...
I learned a long time ago..

Come sunday morning there's a market on the square;
Childreen are playing, bells are ringing in the air.
Old man are drinking in some lazy afternoon,
contend with thinking there's nothing to do.
So for now I want to stay on this quiet town,
In this quiet town!
In this quiet town...

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]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9057803/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9057803/ Tue, 13 Jun 2006 14:26:12 PDT
Sensing Owls
by Jose Gonsalez

You're not using a designated driver
to show you around
The folders are a bit too ordered
The sailors seem a bit to bored
Mountain tops seem nice from a distance
Close: rough and not so smooth
So these streets have been walked upon for centuries
I'm sensing owls aren't you?
Aren't you?

You're not using a designated driver
to show you around
The folders are a bit too ordered
The sailors seem a bit to bored
Mountain tops seem nice from a distance
Close: rough and not so smooth
So these streets have been walked upon for centuries
I'm sensing owls aren't you?
Aren't you?

Come on come out from where ever you are

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]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9027471/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/9027471/ Sat, 10 Jun 2006 11:46:26 PDT Backdrifts
by Radiohead

We're rotten fruit
We're damaged goods
What the hell, we've got nothing more to lose
One gust and we will probably crumble
We're backdrifters

This far but no further
I'm hanging off a branch
I'm teetering on the brink
Oh honey sweet
So full of sleep
I'm backsliding

You fell into our arms
You fell into our arms
We tried but there was nothing we could do
Nothing we could do

All evidence has been buried
All tapes have been erased
But your footsteps give you away
So you're backtracking

Ah ah ah
You fell into our arms
You fell into our arms
We tried but there was nothing we could do
Nothing we could do
You fell into our, ah
You fell into a

We're rotten fruit
We're damaged goods
What the hell, we've got nothing more to lose
One gust and we will probably crumble
We're backdrifters

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]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/8980653/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/8980653/ Mon, 05 Jun 2006 17:13:13 PDT Evil Angel
by Rufus Wainwright

For to see my depth of sorrow
You are not allowed to follow me
Into this town square
And then run away

Evil angel with your cleft tongue
When you kissed me
On this town square
All the lights came on at sunset
Thought you'd stay

Evil angel bearing apples
When you kissed me
On this drawbridge
As the boats do
How was I to know you'd flee

Tear down these monuments
Bury the coat of arms
And build for me a factory

Evil angel when you're faced with hatred's
Daggers in my honor
You're no match no scratching hearts that no longer bleed

Oh Evil angel tear down the monuments
Evil angel bury the coat of arms
And rebuild for me these memories

For to see my depth of sorrow



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]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/8958549/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/8958549/ Sat, 03 Jun 2006 10:53:51 PDT All the Trees of the Field Will Clap Their Hands
by Sufjan Stevens

If I am alive this time next year,
will I haved arrived in time to share?
Mine is about as good this far.
I'm still applied to what you are.
And I am joining all my thoughts to you.
And I'm preparing every part for you.

I heard from the trees a great parade.
And I heard from the hills a band was made.
Will I be invited to the sound?
Will I be a part of what you've made?
And I am throwing all my thoughts away.
And I'm destroying every bet I've made.
And I am joining all my thoughts to you.
And I'm preparing every part for you.

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]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/8940231/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/8940231/ Thu, 01 Jun 2006 12:29:35 PDT
What Sarah Said
by Death Cab For Cutie

And it came to me then that every plan
Is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
That reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself
that I’d already taken too much today
As each descending peak of the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines
And year old magazines
In a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind
That our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds
And I knew that you were a truth
I would rather lose
than to have never lain beside at all

Then I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
As the TV entertained itself
Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous paces bracing for bad news
Then the nurse comes round
And everyone lifts their heads
And I’m thinking of what Sarah said
That love is watching someone die

So who’s going to watch you die?
So who's going to watch you die?
So who's going to watch you die?

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]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/8919970/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/8919970/ Tue, 30 May 2006 11:30:07 PDT

The only thing I don't get is why the only... hmm... never mind...

Listening to: The Sweetest condition by Depeche Mode

Taken in by the delicate noise
Knocked to the ground by the subtle thunder
Shackled and bound by the sound of your voice
Wandering around in silent wonder

What chance did I have
With the silver moon
Hanging in the sky
Opening old wounds

Taking hold of the hem of your dress
Cleanliness only comes in small doses
Bodily whole but my head's in a mess
Fuelling obsession that borders psychosis

It's a sad disease
Creeping through my mind
Causing disabilities
Of the strangest kind

Getting lost in the folds of your skirt
There's a price that I pay for my mission
A body in heaven and a mind full of dirt
How I suffer the sweetest condition

Taken in by the delicate noise
Knocked to the ground by the subtle thunder
Shackled and bound by the sound of your voice
Wandering around in silent wonder

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]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/8913217/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/8913217/ Mon, 29 May 2006 16:10:26 PDT Dissolved Girl by Massive Attack

Shame, such a shame
I think I kind of lost myself again
Day, yesterday
Really should be leaving but I stay

Say, say my name
I need a little love to ease the pain
I need a little love to ease the pain
It's easy to remember when it came

'Cause it feels like I've been
I've been here before
You are not my savior
But I still don't go

Feels like something
That I've done before
I could fake it
But I still want more

Fade, made to fade
Passion's overrated anyway
Say, say my name
I need a little love to ease the pain
I need a little love to ease the pain
It's easy to remember when it came

'Cause it feels like I've been
I've been here before
You are not my savior
But I still don't go, oh

I feel live something
That I've done before
I could fake it
But I still want more, oh.

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]]> ~philostrate http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/8899563/ http://philostrate.deviantart.com/journal/8899563/ Sun, 28 May 2006 07:23:02 PDT River man by Nick Drake

Betty came by on her way
Said she had a word to say
About things today
And fallen leaves.

Said she hadn't heard the news
Hadn't had the time to choose
A way to lose
But she believes.

Going to see the river man
Going to tell him all I can
About the plan
For lilac time.

If he tells me all he knows
About the way this river flows
And all night shows
In summertime.

Betty said she prayed today
For the sky to blow away
Or maybe stay
She wasn't sure.

For when she thought of summer rain
Calling for her mind again
She lost the pain
And stayed for more.

Going to see the river man
Going to tell him all I can
About the ban
On feeling free.

If he tells me all he knows
About the way his river flows
I don't suppose
It's meant for me.

Oh, how they come and go
Oh, how they come and go.

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]]> ~philostrate