http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:phoebeplupp&section=today deviantART RSS for by:phoebeplupp en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 20:40:43 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/28860680/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/28860680/ Thu, 10 Dec 2009 08:56:17 PST me quiero el chico con les ojos verdes, porque el es un bailarin muy apasionado!!!
(forgive my awkward spanish. -me parece que estoy enamorada!)

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/28425613/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/28425613/ Wed, 18 Nov 2009 01:37:40 PST
]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/27869167/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/27869167/ Tue, 20 Oct 2009 10:07:53 PDT just a thought... but it occured to me today -not that i didn't have that sort of information in my head somewhere a long time now in a way- that taking yourself too seriously (and hence having extremely great expectations of oneself whilst in the process of creating) is a real obstacle in art making (in my case both drawing and writing).

no further thoughts on the matter. i just had to share the revelation with the dA world.


]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/27483693/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/27483693/ Tue, 29 Sep 2009 10:34:22 PDT
i've become really difficult with music lately. it's either me or the music around me, but in any case most music just doesn't make me feel that easily anymore. i can tell when i hear a good song, but most of the time that's all. i feel like a music critic, just storing compositions and artist-band/album names in my head.

well, dido might not be considered super extremely cool- headbanger or virtuoso, or any of all that crap, but i just loved all of the songs, i actually felt them!!
so please. try this!


]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/27065663/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/27065663/ Mon, 07 Sep 2009 01:17:14 PDT
]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/26561302/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/26561302/ Thu, 13 Aug 2009 03:10:14 PDT if the project actually goes well i'll be submitting some -hopefully?- pretty cool stuff.
:0)

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/26121425/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/26121425/ Thu, 23 Jul 2009 02:33:14 PDT thanks! (you know who you are)


]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/25833193/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/25833193/ Thu, 09 Jul 2009 07:29:05 PDT i've been feeling weird ever since.
and it's not related so much to the emotional ranting of being single-hardcore, at least not so much as i expected.
it just got me thinking.
a lot.
i almost found it disturbing.she nearly fainted at the reception, which hosted 700 people,and i doubt -if given the choice- she would have invited ME to the reception, since we hadn't really spoken/communicated at all for about two years prior to the announcement of the wedding.
what am i saying? i'm neither a radical, nor a highly conventional person. i lead a pretty ideologically neutral (or perhaps sterile, ideology-less?)life, by now. i was never strongly against marriage, but lately i was really skeptical.
nonetheless i found myself thinking that, although i fancy saying out loud that i couldn't care less of marriage if the "right one" doesn't come up (perhaps in a totally Elizabeth Bennet manner!), i always imagine myself marrying when i'm at a wedding, and in fact i usually promise myself i'll pull this thing off more successfully than the others i've seen so far.
ie, i find myself yearning to "compete". even though i pretend to snub it.
i think it's the ceremony that actually puzzled me.
too showy,too much for me.
i practically felt as though someone felt the need to be yelling "i'm marrying!!!!" to my face. "who could believe?"
my friend's not a show-off. but i did feel awkward in the end.
in the end i was simply wondering about all the stereotypes about marriage and success,and happiness, and purity and so on.
and yes, i am a very small person, but i felt no joyous emotion or childhood nostalgia concerning my friend.
sad and maybe cynical.
scary.

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/25428889/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/25428889/ Sat, 20 Jun 2009 05:37:00 PDT is that normal? for one thing i can't keep things clean, tidy and simple for a long time. they just go back to the messy state almost as though it was of their own will and ability to do so.
by now it's not a matter of standing or of falling apart, but in the end i wonder whether this keeps me running, or this simply keeps me from getting better overall,in time, this sort of circle, these sort of things (these "standard errors")that keep recurring.

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/25069130/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/25069130/ Mon, 01 Jun 2009 12:28:27 PDT
does anybody find their own?
is it a reasonable thing to ask after all?
is it just luck?
is it just about choosing to believe it?
is there any such thing as relief from this need?

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/24747956/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/24747956/ Thu, 14 May 2009 02:43:51 PDT i have trouble being an attentive reader.- and good reading is too integral to good writing. but i have no patience, especially lately. i also have trouble critiquing written material -which of course results from my idle reading. i'm either too harsh or too superficial. i'm not an educated reader, so i only work by the categories of "like" and "dislike". i have difficulty identifying and evaluating things such as structure or rhythm -which, i've been told, are important parts both in prose and poetry. so i can barely judge on a more technical basis and be helpful if not to anyone else to myself. oh, yeah, the other problem is i'm generally too self centered to genuinely relate to another person's creative ordeal. that is unless i'm already somewhat acquainted with their work.
no this is not an incident of sudden self consciousness. i've been to a writing workshop, and i'm starting to feel like a total amateur. like i'm wasting my time and other people's, unless i decide to take these things more seriously. you know -work harder... duh.

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/24374121/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/24374121/ Wed, 22 Apr 2009 09:16:04 PDT
]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/24257369/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/24257369/ Wed, 15 Apr 2009 13:46:39 PDT must see, everyone!

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/24057202/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/24057202/ Sat, 04 Apr 2009 11:55:02 PDT there's a price to having your nose operated on, even if it's primarily for therapeutic reasons.
i'll just hope for the best. and in the meanwhile i'll excersise my old abandoned mastery at abusing people with my incredible talent of employing misery to obtain mandatory sympathy and generosity.
(

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/23910782/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/23910782/ Fri, 27 Mar 2009 02:42:26 PDT i was so preoccupied with my thesis i couldn't function on almost any other level. well that ended well, thankfully, so i hope i'm starting back up again, and i hope i'm a better artist now that i've come to appreciate how much i really, really need to be practicing this...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/22985061/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/22985061/ Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:17:03 PST here's to a whole new blank page!

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/22505056/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/22505056/ Sat, 10 Jan 2009 11:49:18 PST
]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/22007918/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/22007918/ Tue, 16 Dec 2008 00:10:53 PST
they have renamed mesologgiou str, alexandros grigoropoulos str.

i went by two days ago and strangely i was unable to feel anything whatsoever. the killing of the fifteen year old boy was so widely publicized i felt as though it had always been there. i felt as though fifteen year old boys will always get shot. i could not feel the terror. yesterday morning my mother was describing what she read about how his best friend carried him off the scene and lifted his shirt to see the wound, how he saw the policeman aim straight at him, not the sky, not some other direction, and i just couldn't bear to listen.

i feel as though there is no society to absorb this. i'm skeptical about the riots. who causes them, why, how we should -how i should- regard this and act. i asked myself again and again, can this end constructively, can this be a chance for radical reform?

i am in doubt of that possibility. i am unable to choose and to support a practice that could lead us to that.is it protest? is it carry on with our lives with the most sincerity and the most good will that we can? will we ever do the best we can, in light of the events? strangely -although i have not been actively involved in the protests- i feel as though, no matter how unbearable it seems, we need to destroy everything first.

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/21228339/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/21228339/ Thu, 30 Oct 2008 07:07:08 PDT
]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/20515101/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/20515101/ Tue, 16 Sep 2008 00:29:51 PDT
]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/20351266/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/20351266/ Sat, 06 Sep 2008 04:02:37 PDT meaning please spend your time beautifully. (oh, most people say "na perna kala" - have a good time)
it sounds sweet. a bit like a "goodbye" doesn't it?
for one thing, i am crying about it, even if it's not what it seems to me.
now i've got closure...?

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19929070/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19929070/ Wed, 13 Aug 2008 06:39:57 PDT so i'll just sleep through certain things,i guess.
i'm fundamentally an optimist, though it may seem hard to believe. i've recently discovered i usually wake up to a better self after these silent lows...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19802347/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19802347/ Wed, 06 Aug 2008 04:17:55 PDT Zeal doesn't exactly fit, but i do feel like punching something/someone.

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19714057/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19714057/ Fri, 01 Aug 2008 07:50:31 PDT i am now discovering the joys of facebook. see when i'll get bored of it. quite soon i suspect. it's interesting though, on registering i found someone i'd met and (really liked!!) something like three years ago and lost touch with.... now we are "friends". it's funny how that sounds in facebook terms -as compared to real life. there's not even a real picture of me yet in the account so he just probably mindlessly added another friend to his list as many (good natured?) people do. still... it's nice to have that sort of coincidence now and then...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19660722/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19660722/ Tue, 29 Jul 2008 12:22:23 PDT hey, i can sing too. but i guess my breasts weren't voted as some sort of global miracle under red satin.
where the hell has authenticity gone?
for one thing all these under-mediocrities have to scream on the top of their lungs all the freaking time and there's not always a remote control button to turn them off.
i'm tired sick of people trying to sell themselves in whatever context. does it really have to be like this???
anyway. just wondering bitterly (in a non problem solving manner) about facts of life.
obviously i need to change my cognitive style -even non psychology-geeks can tell i have a depressive cognitive style...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19551208/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19551208/ Wed, 23 Jul 2008 08:18:55 PDT i'm leaving for vacation tomorrow and i am hardly excited, with a slowburning headache and this peculiar lack of balance -like being on a ship or something.
i am so tired.
and i know he won't make that much effort as far as i am concerned. shame he likes me too much to hurt me, but too little to hurt his self. and i know i'm being unreasonable -damned metacognition!
i just hope something honestly unexpected will happen.

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19306318/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19306318/ Thu, 10 Jul 2008 08:16:04 PDT i swear a lot lately. maybe it's the illusion of freedom.
you know...
i don't expect you will ever really overcome that layer of blurry bliss-hood, that ingenious smooth polite conscientiousness that obscures you from the world.
i don't expect you'll ever tell me a single tale, give away a single whisper of mischeif.
so why?
my... how blue are your eyes anyway?
why?
we wait. we always wait, don't we?

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19034407/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/19034407/ Wed, 25 Jun 2008 08:00:13 PDT anyway, i have no idea as to how long i'd been walking, no pavement at some parts, no trees, for a moment i felt nauseous- thought i might pass out.
i realised how Athens has no structure whatsoever. i mean i always knew, but now i've totally grasped. esp after getting lost while driving in one of those demented one-way filled suburbian neighborhoods a few days ago. no doubt i prefer walking.
it was liberating. so.
p.s my mood is not "distracted". more something like, hmmm... optimistic or inquisitory...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/18883129/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/18883129/ Mon, 16 Jun 2008 22:42:07 PDT
my sister's interpretation was that i had tried once, as a child maybe to do something great and was suppressed quite violently. she thought the murder might have something to do with me losing my childhood (innocence or enthousiasm) and maybe the baby was all that survived, which i tried to rescue, perhaps by returning to our prior residence, something kind of backward and impossible, i feel the need to point out.

analysing my dreams always feels disturbing in the end... but i guess i'll get over it...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/18758713/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/18758713/ Tue, 10 Jun 2008 00:34:43 PDT i was working with my friend Fenia and a french lady named Christine.Christine has the craziest sense of humor i have ever seen in a person -esp for a fifty year old lady. one time she was (for a reason i'm too bored to explain)carrying several (as in three or four)rolls of toilet paper in public. when someone gave her a weird look her immediate response was "i have great needs!"- with that ticklish french accent of hers. i had spent the entire day laughing about it.
i have trouble adjusting now. i liked work!now i have to study for my last course and finish my dissertation which has been a pain in my neck since late october. i changed the subject, and yesterday i ran into my last professor, whom i hadn't actually informed of my resigning from the study of blogging and selfhood. he was kind of disappointed, but we discussed the possibity of my performing the study seperately from my fulfilling my academic needs, which sounded pretty interesting after all... maybe i will...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/18382988/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/18382988/ Sun, 18 May 2008 12:47:03 PDT on others i can't help noting trivia on james mc avoy -whom i so adore!-
so he worked as a baker in the early mornings while he was in drama school. i adore him even more. lucky anne marie-duff (if i'm not mistaking his spouse's name)
god, i've been living in the box lately...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/18302067/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/18302067/ Tue, 13 May 2008 08:51:55 PDT i was really put off by the way these women rejected their prior appearance -quite manifestly at some point of the show, when at passing by an enlarged picture of their "pathetic past" they all generated gestures of playful -sassy- or more "diva" disgust. they had obviously been instructed to do so, which makes it even more rediculous in the end.
i'm just extremely bothered worried by this "ultimate self reform" culture, this sublimated self destruction in the name of true selfhood. i mean does the truer self reside within bleached hair and the free prize nose job all the "swans" get regardless of the angle of their nose? i know this all sounds super culture snob preachy, but i feel like we're going cyborg -inhuman, unnatural, standardized, you name it- and we don't know it yet.

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17969605/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17969605/ Tue, 22 Apr 2008 02:01:14 PDT too pretty... so when will you shake my hand again?
he's shy and simple (none of the smartass "i invented intercourse" cynical guff you get from most presentable 20somethings!!). and i like it. not that i can tell what is happening, not that i want to be overly happy about something before it even happens, but, sorry, i am!

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17874922/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17874922/ Wed, 16 Apr 2008 03:54:31 PDT
i'm going less "philosophical" in general. my friend Marina, from art therapy pointed that out. she says my work is much more clear and my presentation and analysis of it less anxious and awkward. i think so myself. i'm thinking, i've really come to like everyone in art therapy, eventhough i felt very out of place and up tight at first. i saw it as a kind of requirement, in my effort to get into related postgraduate studies. now i think i'll be pretty sad when its over, which is in May...

other than that i feel pretty down to earth and simply back in touch with the things that make me feel happy... trying to draw, trying to write, trying to plan what's next... i think part of what makes (somewhat depressive) people like me so desparate is the fact that we aim too high in our little heads and then we find out there's too much to be done we've put too little effort in, being caught up in our safety net of idealised self and dreamlike obsessions... of course i always pay for such statements of supposedly wise optimism. i think its possible that if i were mute and illiterate, i'd probalby get more of the work i want done, since i wouldn't spend so much time talking about it.

i think that is probably the case in politics as well...! XD

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17824215/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17824215/ Sun, 13 Apr 2008 01:19:06 PDT
b)three of my cousins were engaged in the past 4months (ages 27, 25 & 21) &now my parents have officially entered the 5*-certified-inlaw hunting frenzy. beware my charisma6 smelly feet skills is the only defense i feel like employing! ( i am officially disgusting) XD

c)a couple of days ago (during a highly "non linear" conversation) i told my sister that she could make her ears into dreadlocks and pierce her hair. "μπορεις να κάνεις τζίβες τ' αυτιά σου και τρύπες στα μαλλιά σου..." XD XD XD....

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17568417/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17568417/ Sat, 29 Mar 2008 06:02:56 PDT
]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17468072/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17468072/ Sun, 23 Mar 2008 03:06:55 PDT i want to go into art therapy, i have no doubts on that, just not much support... there seem to be much more practical choices, but i don't want to be practical, and that's what's spoiled about me...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17390006/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17390006/ Tue, 18 Mar 2008 04:49:39 PDT ever since i was slightly able to follow and question reality i 've always had the
impression that things only get worse as far as national and international politics are concerned, as if its about some sort of political physics -gravity, objects fall, they can only fall... this personal tendancy deteriorated after 9/11, and even though its not of the moment exactly, i cannot forget that day. ever. eventhough i just watched everything from my couch with a 7 or 9hour time difference.
i was just wondering this morning (massive strike day today in Greece, we've been doing nothing but going on strike since 2005, or so it seems to me...)+(international news -worst global economy since WW2)...

my grandfather was nagging about the current situation of so called democracy... there's nothing but the name of it. sometimes i think there never really was more than that anyway... so i was just wondering... were people ever actually responsible for the governing of their own fate? i mean able to be constructively involved in doing so? was there ever a point in it? and how can that be, now that relations are even more complex, more abstract and all encompassing. how can change occur? a cog (or a collection of cogs) can go crazy, but the machine already has its infinite back up and its inertia. so the cog (s) is just screwed.
and even if there's a total break down, what is there outside the machine?
yeah, i was born in "1984". i get these fits of questionning once in a while...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17295223/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17295223/ Wed, 12 Mar 2008 00:51:24 PDT well the dream had a very fragmented storyline, only very slightly altered from the first one... there were exams in it, there was the church we attended in Durham, a classmate of mine from university and our house in Pefki, and near the end my sister and i were being chased by a teacher-witch-whatever sort of nemesis... the narrative, as i said, was plain stupid. but i woke up (both times i had it) with the feeling that everything was coming to a cinematic sort of ending, a very sentimental and unfullfilled sort of pause, or halt. i guess i had the sensation of dying, because i had the feeling i'd visited a lot of important places i'd been to, and i had the fear i was losing my coherence and my memory, losing my self, at least the mental component of my existence.
i'm still not exactly in tune with reality. i'm wading in a sublte, numb questionning mood, which is usually not good... engaging in deconstruction is no good! esp when you've had extreme clarity just half a day before. but maybe thats just the way it happens...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17190845/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/17190845/ Wed, 05 Mar 2008 06:46:32 PST
then i noticed a black ladybug, which was sitting on the shoulder of the man across me. he was sleeping. for some reason it really caught my eye, i suppose it was the song i was listening to. it was a perfect moment. then the poor thing just flew into the page of a book someone was reading. the man with the book just literally spat at it to drive it away, he didn't even care to see what kind of insect it was. a non significant creep, smaller than half a printed word. why did he act so offended, so territorial?
well who's i think i am to react as such to the ill treatment of an insect, -"lord of the flies"? thats a different matter, but i just felt i needed to mention the incident...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/16926155/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/16926155/ Sun, 17 Feb 2008 08:45:07 PST so as the greeks say "cold weather, time to get together"... just me and Art.
no one else :sighs:...
me and my pastels to be accurate. its good, can't complain. maybe if the wind dies down i could get some interesting pictures as well...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/16797632/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/16797632/ Sat, 09 Feb 2008 09:24:31 PST
atonement is a really good book, i look forward to finally watching the film sometime soon, but either way its a must read. something of virginia wolf, for anyone who has that kind of patience...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/16577737/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/16577737/ Sat, 26 Jan 2008 07:55:35 PST
so its just wrong when i'm forced to "think" about how to achieve my fullest potential. potential is a psychological plague.

i want peace, damn it!

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/16417644/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/16417644/ Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:20:47 PST
-art class today resulted in a mild -yet waining- acheing located somewhere between my forehead and my eyes. probably because i wished i could spend the entire day today outdoors -- beautiful, promising atmospheric clarity!

mood swings are becoming less recurrent, managable on a cognitive level, but unpredictable all of a sudden. i usually make my best out of them anyway... but i wonder if im lost between my battling tendencies of thorough analytical questioning on the one hand and tearful -artistic?- admiration of utter -human?- -glorious?- confusion. is it a war, or just my counter-productive solution to the end of a desired -yet highly unspecified!- balance? am i testing my limits or am i simply exercising no end maze mapping so i can sell it as some sort of "art"? i may never be able to tell.

the good thing is i do not always feel compelled to be so "thoughtful"...
sometimes i just float...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/16137021/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/16137021/ Fri, 28 Dec 2007 10:52:36 PST
i also pretty much tore apart another beloved notebook, one i had last year. it was very relieving to just see those full pages go. i didn't throw those away, i just put them in a folder, but i most probably will in another 5years when i'll be able to analyze (and let go of...) the misty melodic mess i'm currently in...

alexander... carefully hidden, pensive, floating little lake...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/15955100/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/15955100/ Sun, 16 Dec 2007 07:07:51 PST
not much else going on.
went bowling for the first time- i am either a major find or was extremely lucky last night with three strikes in a row!

some ten days to christmas but don't care for an accurate count!

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/15807795/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/15807795/ Wed, 05 Dec 2007 13:28:53 PST
its a good thing my tearshed downs go creative.
it's a bad thing my creative patterns are consistently unpredictable on whole. lately writing comes more easily (than drawing). and i think i've writen some pretty good stuff, despite my continuous screaming of the word disillusionment+its derivatives and synonyms!
i should simply learn to let go! it feels fine!

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/15718244/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/15718244/ Thu, 29 Nov 2007 08:24:47 PST

i was cleaning my drawers yesterday... i made myself a box with a kindergarten picture of myself, a tiny little school picture that has the word PROOF written on both sides. Proof of life i thought... i put my butterfly earring in it, my dreamcatcher earring, a heartshaped pebble, an Irish punt, and an old bus ticket from Thessaloniki. oh, and Jeff's beads... i was so stupid. i picked up his beads one by one off the carpet when his necklace broke loose, he actually let me have them, but i was dumb. dumb, dumb, dumb... i really liked him... so much for regret. i obsess over fallacies. what can i say?

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/15591010/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/15591010/ Tue, 20 Nov 2007 14:00:13 PST my art teacher was telling me today about my zodiac sign: i'm a scorpio and he was saying i range from extreme highs to extreme lows -he warned another classmate of mine, who is also preparing for art therapy, that they should keep an eye on me, that i'm the one most susceptible to ending up on substance abuse and other such desparate extremities! i obviously call my self (bi)polar bear for a reason!

i made a drawing in my art therpy seminar, 2faces, i incidentally titled it "good and evil". i had folded the paper right down the middle and i had decided to draw 2 different (existing) persons. the first one was my dear "seascape friend", who actually (as expected) gave me a load of trouble. mainly because his expression is quite enigmatic -arrogance meets ridicule and bright eyed mischeif- and his features definately unique. i hated the result at once. he did look evil! he looked exactly like someone i would not relate to... strange! the other face is someone i have come to feel attracted to lately. i only know his face, the rest of the information concerning his identity remains inaccessible to me, but honestly the face is enough! he is by far the most beautiful person i have seen so far... and quite possibly he's the deepest sad detached look i've ever seen, as well... it was so much easier drawing this person. it barely took me a few minutes, as opposed to "sir ridicule" who must have taken me about more than a half hour!

ok, the group seemed to like the "evil" figure best. they said he looked more lively and well, attractive, eventhough the other face was more clear and polite. the key comment was that both figures had a feminine quality (-i have tried hard to deminish any of the usual femininity in the male figures i draw, so that was a bit discouraging, but i've grown enough to accept constructive criticism as routine and healthy-) and given the known -highly irritating if you ask me, hardly scientific, but they just don't give a crap do they!- arbitraty therapeutic freedom, a member associated them with me and my "shadow", the latter being self confidence, willingness and liveliness as opposed to inhuman sadness and a pale nobility.

ok, now i'm just baffled... i still like the no name person better...

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/15268004/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/15268004/ Mon, 29 Oct 2007 05:17:50 PDT
i went to a friend's party a couple of days ago. after allowing a few hours of "mingling" he came up with a guitar and a "playlist". we all sounded like a malfunctioning cassete tape player, and then this classmate of mine decided to attempt a solo of "Knocking on heaven's door". he was quite serious about it, and of course he has a great singing voice, but everyone was messing around so he ended up adding a comical howl now and then. i thought he was adorable! then i realised i reaaaally envied him. i lack that sort of plain outwardness. it's a shame people (let alone "artists"!) mostly do.

]]> ~phoebeplupp http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/15197581/ http://phoebeplupp.deviantart.com/journal/15197581/ Wed, 24 Oct 2007 05:34:03 PDT i'm emotional bc things are weird lately. interpersonal challenges... again with challenge... whatever. "i know i've said too much, i havent said enough..."...

]]> ~phoebeplupp