http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:pillowmui&section=today deviantART RSS for by:pillowmui en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:21:00 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/17000249/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/17000249/ Thu, 21 Feb 2008 20:41:37 PST
currently working in Singapore.. as an AE.. but somehow, im feeling it's not what i want.

can't find the strength or purpose to continue this post..

will leave. once the contract that binds me ends in September...

perhaps, i shall be free from this soulless work in this company.

currently received a new job. juz to get my portfolio going. gotta start anew soon.

prolly, by end of this year, i'll be starting my creative dreams.. *crossing fingers*

]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/10672213/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/10672213/ Thu, 09 Nov 2006 18:34:05 PST
i need some motivation...

seems like im slacking off and im being a little depressed...

i hate marker visuals.. don't seem to get the hang of it...

i need strength

]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/8596965/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/8596965/ Wed, 26 Apr 2006 21:56:17 PDT Melissa

2) Were you named after anyone?
absolutely not

3) Do you wish on stars?
don't see any stars (pollution!)...and i don't...

4) When did you last cry?
erm...kinda long while ago..

5) Do you like your handwriting?
sometimes...it depends on my mood while im writing it

6) What is your favorite lunch meal?
to be frank? sushi!

7) When is your birthdate?
17th feb 1985...im old..

8) What is your most embarrassing cd?
westlife

9) Do you have a journal?
what do u think?

10. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
depends...on who im talkin to

11. What are your nicknames?
mel (miao)

12. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
nopezz...im lazy...

13. Do you think that you are strong?
strong physically? no. strong mentally? i guess NO

14. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
vanillllaaaaaa~~~~ sky...

15. Shoe size.
6

16. Red or pink?
neither.

17. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
i drink n i puke.. love getting myself drunk and hate myself for that.

18. What do you miss most?
less worrying days...

19. Do you want everyone you tag to, answer it too?
i leave it for themselves... i was bored.. so i did it

20. What color pants and shoes are you wearing now?
blue jeans...skirt...and DC shoes...matched wit my fav Q ultraman t-shirt i bought yesterday!!

21. Are you listening to your favorite music right now?
hmm..no..sadly..no speakers at the comp im sitting right now in da office

22. What was the last thing you ate?
some kind of sweet

23. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
crayon shin chan! *laughs* color? erm..i'll pick black

24. What is the weather like right now?
freakin hot!!!! i hate u malaysia!!! nah..jk

25. Last person you talked to on the phone?
adrian

26. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
"gosh, he's cute"

27. Do you like the person who tagged this to you?
hhmm...havent really know her...can i say i like her work?

28. Favorite drink?
lemon juice~~

29. Favorite sport?
volleyball...

30. Favorite colors?
light cerulean blue

31. Eye color?
dark brown

32. Do you wear contacts?
uh huh

33. Favorite food?
sushi!

34. Last movie you watched?
ICe Age 2

35. Scary movies or happy endings?
anything would do

36. Summer or winter?
winter... havent seen snow!

37. hugs or kisses?
both? can i b greedy?

38. What is your favorite dessert?
blueberry pie

39. What books are you reading?
erm...just finished

40. What's on your mouse pad?
a mouse

41. What did you watch last night on the tv?
csi miami

42. Favorite scents?
natural

43. Favorite sounds?
nature... streams

44. Rolling stones or beatles?
rolling stones.....

45. What's the farthest you've been from home?
slovenja ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/8576624/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/8576624/ Mon, 24 Apr 2006 23:25:53 PDT
Realised how much i needed to come to this page to see stuff to get new and fresh ideas. But somehow, to learn a skill, you need to imitate at first, then innovate. shall not forget what Kay has taught me. weird, but true.

Currently at the office now, as an intern for these 3 weeks before my 3rd year commences. Can't wait for a new beginning. Everything seems to challenge me to do better than that.

Shall go back home later tonight to upload some work i've done. Publication design this term is fun, a pity that it did not proceed to more than a term. typography is not enough to be taught. a never ending lesson. i feel thirsty for more knowledge that i've to surf for a few hours everynight and day before i can go to sleep.

im sick.

to friends who known me since young, i'm a freak. im weird.

i don't care.

i love my passion. i live for it.

thank God i'm in this field. ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/7710763/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/7710763/ Thu, 26 Jan 2006 06:00:41 PST
now, it's all peace and quite... so i guess it's time for me to make up for all the lost time ive wasted in not posting new stuff on my deviant.

classes that i've loved during my last few terms at TOA : photography, creative advertising campaign...marker visuals!

still trying hard to improve on my berol drawn figures. still looks weird and the proportion still looks weird at times..or most of the time... *lol*

design showcase going on in mid Feb 2006. trying to aim for that. interview with Amy on th 6th feb to show her my portfolio. if only i knew what to insert into a portfolio.. and how on earth am i gonna complete my portfolio in a week's time?

god bless...

happy chinese new year! ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/6147059/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/6147059/ Sat, 06 Aug 2005 03:04:15 PDT god knowz... *sighs*
then why am i back here again? prolly cuz.. there's been too many events happening in my life, making me all miserable and depressed....

hanging between depression and resentment..
someone once told me tat once you've passed resentment, you're better off dead.. yeah.. it's kinda sucky, but it woke me up... a lot.. that was a few months ago.. sad huh?

been mutilating myself again...

what's next?

me lying in my own grave? tombstone carved with beautiful letters of my name..

"she'll be missed by all... May God Bless her"

*sweats*

kinda scary to know what i've been doing to myself lately... it is.. it really is...
what da fuck is happening?~!!! ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4860535/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4860535/ Sun, 20 Mar 2005 06:44:23 PST
no one pity me please. had enough of those pities i get from people. it sucks. the feeling sucks.

haven't been having ideas for my final projects which are dued soon. i actually have, not penned down yet. gosh, what kind of art student am i?

procrastination, please leave me alone.

let me die.

procrastination, please go somewhere far.

so that i won't come hunting for you.. ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4780916/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4780916/ Thu, 10 Mar 2005 20:03:42 PST
the dream kept changing, but never left us out.

i felt happy. i didn't want to wake up.

i know it would never happen. the both of us.

he runs after the beauty while i'm nothing more than a piece of crap.

we'll never belong to each other. ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4644301/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4644301/ Tue, 22 Feb 2005 09:02:53 PST
busy with assignments... too many research to do. where to start? where to get the books?

weather's been treating me bad. causing me to have giddiness and headache. it sucks. even a few puffs can't calm me down from my head throb.

gotta get back to my finishing on my assignment. can't write long.

ciaoz. ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4612868/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4612868/ Fri, 18 Feb 2005 07:57:59 PST
It's still about the online game. i just wished that someone could slap some sense into him. i just wished that his hard disk would crash on him when he starts that stupid game tomorrow...

instead of accompanying me for the day, instead of enjoying each other's company..

it has to end this way...

not even a goodnight's kiss, not even nothing...

1 cut, 2 cuts...

how many times am i gonna cut myself? no.. i'm not committing suicide..

just to inhale the pain back into myself...

just to feel the pain i'm feeling inside...

just to let myself know... that i'm bleeding both outside and inside... ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4603237/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4603237/ Thu, 17 Feb 2005 00:49:35 PST
present counter : 3 (thanks Jon, Brian and Shiang Yuan)
card counter : nil
sms counter : uncountable (thank you everyone, except Adrian)

the fun i had, countless joy and the last few minutes of being 19 was intensifying.The minute i was 20 .... something changed... ahhahaha.... okok.. i'm being dramatic..

I took almost half an hour to cry in da shower.

not receiving sms or even a call from him. disappointed.

went home drunk. i had to remind him that he forgotten something. my birthday and our 3rd yr anniversary.

he forgotten both.

so that is how i got stuck in da shower crying for around half an hour.

pathetic day.

pathetic life.

3rd yr anniversary? seems to him like it's rubbish.

he asks me why do i cry so much?

is loving him too much making me cry so much?

this is fucking annoying....

feel so much like slapping him and yet still want to hug him again ever so tightly. what am i getting at?

confusing. frustrating.

i love you adrian. but, i don't see me being the priority in this relationship. it sucks. tell me not to cry about it then.slap me in the face and tell me i'm thinking rubbish.

action speaks louder than words.

he's having a nap now. he didn't go for work today, couldn't wake up this morning. he's on leave for a day, and he's napping. while i'm back in sentul, blogging like mad.

he can't accompany me. reason? he was saying about going back too late from my place back to his, then the next was about needing to pass some stuff to his brother. Two excuses to not accompany me? GOOD. BRILLIANT.

taking this relationship for granted. both of us.

help.....!!

a blog that he will read but will never understand.

God, please make him see through this. God, help us go through this ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4565229/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4565229/ Sat, 12 Feb 2005 20:21:12 PST
why?

the rate at how i'm going is just so...... slow.

why isn't there a spark in me to make me want to create things i wanted?

why is it there's always failure?

i need to try hard. i need guidance...

*sighs*

so not good... ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4551163/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4551163/ Fri, 11 Feb 2005 01:21:39 PST
tried to get myself moving to post some art on DA.. failure.

need some pressure...

please give me some.. ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4508655/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4508655/ Sun, 06 Feb 2005 02:03:26 PST
have you noticed any changes in your love one compared to when you both started out?

what bout feeling the hopelessness when you lost to a computer instead of a human being?

the helplessness of being yourself when everyone around you turns their back on you... ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4442942/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4442942/ Sat, 29 Jan 2005 06:04:46 PST Night has been playin a trick on me
bringing back the past to me ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4417806/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4417806/ Wed, 26 Jan 2005 07:02:49 PST Be in time, or in place....
What is black ? what is white?
the soulless mind does not need to know... ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4415604/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/4415604/ Tue, 25 Jan 2005 21:06:33 PST wondering around aimlessly ]]> ~pillowmui http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/2377889/ http://pillowmui.deviantart.com/journal/2377889/ Fri, 07 May 2004 09:29:03 PDT Blindly following the path that i once thought was right.
There it goes again...
I fell down on my knees...
Still not knowing how forgetful i was..
To walk on a land full of thorns
i was eveready to get out on my own
Tryin to defeat my destiny
Where fate brings me crawling in da dark
Cries of fear were strugglin' within my heart
Bursting through my lungs i had ..
Tryin' hard not to cry for now..
I ain't a baby anymore...
yes..i know... ]]> ~pillowmui