http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:pitoli&section=today deviantART RSS for by:pitoli en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 16 Dec 2009 00:55:24 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/25379961/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/25379961/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 18:48:38 PDT
]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/25288753/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/25288753/ Sat, 13 Jun 2009 10:11:28 PDT
Graduation: still waiting for realization to hit me.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/25058243/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/25058243/ Sat, 13 Jun 2009 10:05:20 PDT OPEN!

If you want to commission me, please send a note providing the details of the piece (for example, if you want a sketch of an OC, I'll need sufficient references). I promise to get back to you right away. Commission status is subject to change depending on my workload.

I only accept payment through Paypal, and finished work is sent digitally, not through the post (I can't afford it )


The price listings are below:

Sketches:
$5 UD- bust/waist up
$10 UD- fullbody
$10 UD each for every extra character added
$5 UD for any background

CGs:
$15 UD- bust/waist up
$20 UD- fullbody
$10 UD each for every extra character added
$10 UD for background (may vary from details requested)


Anybody still interested?
If this doesn't work out I'll be waitressing all summer, fml.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/24568850/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/24568850/ Sun, 03 May 2009 15:18:43 PDT Visit!
[link]

It's slated to be a fanblog/sketchblog, although I haven't been able to put up any sketches yet because my scanner had to go off and die and I'm not really sure when we'll be getting a new one, so yeah. There's not really a whole lot up right now, but that can be remedied with a few memes/other random crap.

I'd always been opposed to Livejournal because I was convinced it'd be a big waste of my time (and based on how much time I spend on the site, I was correct) and so I blame ~57mannequins for persuading me to make one. Actually, we had this deal that she'd friend me, allowing me to see her emorant blog, as long as I updated on a semi-regular basis.

As a result of starting up my Livejournal, I've been getting more into fandom. Which sorta sucks considering I have AP tests for the next two weeks. But yeah. I wanna go back and watch Avatar <3333

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/24515347/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/24515347/ Thu, 30 Apr 2009 14:40:08 PDT USC or Cornell?
California or New York?
Trojans or Bears?
Scholarship or no scholarship?
300 days of summer or a five-month winter?

April 30th, with the May 1st deadline tomorrow looming over my head, and I still don't have the foggiest for where I'm going to college next year.

FUCK.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/24130344/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/24130344/ Wed, 08 Apr 2009 13:55:13 PDT
So?

This update's just here to tell you my laptop's been taken away on account of my rather disappointing grades (CAN YOU SAY SECOND SEMESTER SENIOR) and altogether pride-less attitude towards my work in general. I'd like to chalk it up just to being naturally lazy, but this sort of neglect sort of outdoes any sort of lazy I ever came up with previously... I'm not complaining about my parents taking the laptop, because I deserve it. My parents can be unfair (and maybe I'm saying this because I'm a bratty, self-absorbed teenager) but this isn't one of those times.

To be honest I can be extremely melodramatic about my videogaming-withdrawals (I miss them already...sniff) but I am more depressed by the fact that I have allowed my art to just sort of sit there and gather dust. I look at my doodles and I haven't undertaken any of the things I said I was going to, or finished any of the things that I meant to finish. I haven't touched my tablet in (very nearly) a month, but GAWDDDDEFFMYLIFE it feels like so much longer.

On top of it, there is the fact my abysmal grades...which (I'm pretty sure) won't get me revoked from Cornell or USC, by any means, but it's still a pretty crappy way to sign off on my high school career.

So bottom line I'm not really sure what I set out to say in this journal, except that a break from my art might be better for me than I thought. I have to figure out a way to get out of this slump and hit the books.

I'm finding it hard to do anything but lay around and read Hamlet these days...

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/23906449/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/23906449/ Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:29:38 PDT Accepted
Cal Poly San Luis Obispo Accepted
USC Accepted
Washington University in St. Louis Accepted
UC Los Angeles Accepted
UC Berkeley Accepted
Cornell Accepted
Princeton Accepted

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/23686569/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/23686569/ Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:02:08 PDT Julian-Grei, you were a great opponent and I'll be following your works

Fairly disappointed that I lost in the first round, but it wasn't very much unexpected or anything as my entry was short and unrefined... It did teach me quite a bit about comicking though, so I hope to improve. I have taken the judges's comments to heart and hopefully it'll encourage me to not half-ass my work next time. I was rather looking forward to developing my OC though. Don't worry, she's not going away. I have an SDL debut planned out for her xD

Even though I'm out of the tournament I plan to shadow it for a while - maybe you'll even see a spectator entry or two from me. I'm thinking about drawing an epilogue to Round 1. Good luck to the Round 2 Contestants!


Artistic Plans:
- Going back to learning how to CG (I've forgotten. No seriously, I've forgotten.)
- Draw something besides pretty anime girls. Like maybe ugly real-life men.
- Practice with anatomical detail.


And yeahhh...that's it for now. I'm off to play some PC games.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/23575025/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/23575025/ Sat, 07 Mar 2009 13:15:46 PST
My laptop and tablet are being taken away, so I most likely will have to forfeit Round 1 of MMOCT.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/23297682/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/23297682/ Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:52:56 PST I made it to the Monochrome Markets Original Character Tournament!!

ROUND 1:


BLACK MARKET







WHITE MARKET



*pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/23112822/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/23112822/ Mon, 09 Feb 2009 23:03:17 PST mynti. As you may notice, I am one step closer to fully utilizing all the perks of my new subscription. -is shot- (I'm sure there are many I don't even know about yet.) Anyways, on to other things--

UGHHHH, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH TEACHERS AND THEIR FUCKING FAVORITISM. Obligatory rant, as I'm tired of missing things by a hair and falling short and being second-rate and not good enough.

Every year with my school district, the top orchestra from each of the four Irvine schools selects their top students to go to Honors Orchestra - which is really a great privilege given that the orchestra gets to perform on PROFESSIONAL venues as start-up acts to small, relatively unheard of groups such as, oh, to name a few, the LOS ANGELES PHILHARMONIC and maybe the ORPHEUS CHAMBER ORCHESTRA. -faints- Yeah, it's a big deal, if I can get that point across to you. Well, this year my high school orchestra conductor had some issues as to which eight violins he should send to Honors. The seating this year hasn't been exactly by-the-book (normally the four strongest players get seated as 1st violins, then the next four as 2nds, and so on) since he wanted to seat some newcomers next to more experienced players.

To make things simple, I was on the short list (albeit the bottom of the short list) so I was feeling a bit apprehensive about my spot. Then, in an effort to make things "FAIR," my teacher decides to hold impromptu auditions in class, in front of the rest of the orchestra. We were required to play a short excerpt from a piece we had just gotten and nobody had had a chance to practice yet. After some grumbling, I played my part, and so did the other players in question.

Well, the other girl I was competing against is basically the straightforward flirty, ditzy, cutesy teacher's pet type. She's a golfer and HEY WHAT DO YOU KNOW my teacher loves golf too! Coinkidink. In comparison, I am the girl who doesn't speak a word unless it's to contribute to class discussion, which is rare. Furthermore I don't give a crap about what my teacher likes or doesn't like, which probably works against me a lot of the time. Anyways. I've always thought of myself as a better violinist than said girl, not because I'm arrogant, but because I work harder and better in the ensemble. Compared to hers, my "audition" came off as more prepared and articulate, with altogether better tone quality and intonation.

After we're both done my teacher says, "You know, I think your passage was missing something. I think I'll go with _____ for the last seat instead."

YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME.
No lie, my face was like

Later on in the day I had several other kids from the class, even the concertmaster, come up to me and say they thought I deserved the spot.

Aaaaaaand it didn't make me feel redeemed or vindicated at all.

Just because my teacher can't stop playing his freaking favorites all the time, THAT'S the reason why I didn't get to play in this badass symphony orchestra. Not because I was lazy or because I was disrespectful or unprepared. Because my teacher likes golf girl, that's why. UGHH.


I am so...fucking articulate right now.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/22736179/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/22736179/ Thu, 22 Jan 2009 14:17:40 PST SECOND SEMESTER SENIORS HEEEERREEEE WE GOOOOOOO.
Might have survived with passable grades.
"Passable" being the keyword here. There's probably a B in there somewhere.
But now I have a wonderful 5-day weekend for semester break!
So now I'd like to take the opportunity to kick back and accomplish ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, FERSURE.
But I promise to practice my lounging skills ;D This is where the senioritis kicks in...

In the last month or so I've started to play a lot of RO on my laptop -_____-''
It's not even that fun so WHY IS IT SO ADDICTIVE.
Anyways, I'm powerleveling on the Iris server and trying to hide the fact that I'm a n00b in so many different aspects of the game. I'm, like...pathetic, yeah xD

In other news, I am trying to work on my new art livejournal.
I've been scanning quite a few sketches so I'll have a decent handful to pick from when I actually post something.
Keep in mind this will mainly be a fan sketchblog - although I might post my writings from time to time - and full of anime crack.
Think of it as stuff I would normally put under "Scraps" on DA - things I've worked on but work as sources of embarassment or disappointment for me.
It's just something I want to have fun with, essentially.

Here's an example of something you might find on my LJ. Someone you might recognize:


AWW, COME ON. YOU CAN'T SAY YOU HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT FEMME!LUKE BEFORE. I mean, his clothes bare his entire frikkin' midriff. And he's such a whiny spoiled bitch towards the beginning of the game. Uhhhh yeah, okay, I'm done now. Anyways, my point was, if you liked that, look forward to my LJ. It'll be ready in a bit! If you didn't like it, ummm, ignore me. -is shot-



And lastly, to the person that donated me a THREE-MONTH SUBSCRIPTION:
Thank you so much! TT__________TT
I'll try my best to really take advantage of all the premium stuff that I didn't even know existed. Wow.
You're awesome and generous and kind, and...I don't deserve a cute little asterisk next to my name. But thank you anyways.
You know who you are, I guess. THANK YOU.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/22489413/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/22489413/ Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:52:11 PST
A lot of things to do this weekend: Disneyland tomorrow (SO HOPEFULLY THE HAPPINESS CAN CARRY THROUGH THE REST OF MY SENIOR YEAR) with my orchestra in a recording studio. So Saturday is shot, but Sunday I've got some leftover college apps, plus studying for finals. Aghhhh busyyyyyy.

So what better time than now to make a LIVEJOURNAL? Haha, yes, I've been considering it for a while now. Buttt I didn't actually go and make one until I was in need of a happy diversion from school. It's slated to be a sketchblog/reflective journal of sorts, with all my crack!fanart that doesn't really make it to DA Still in the works right now as I haven't finalized a layout yet, or even posted anything. But I'll let you know when you can check it out.

'Till then. I'll be buried in preparation for final exams. And resisting the urge to impale myself on the nearest pointy object. PRAY FOR ME GAIZ.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/22003210/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/22003210/ Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:07:41 PST I’m gonna get all EMO on your ass now, and I’m going to try to do it honestly.
So if you read any of the following journal, PLEASE do LEAVE A COMMENT.
I’m not even asking you to have the patience to read through the entire thing, really. Just...a comment, please? Do me a favor.



























I wish I wasn’t “wasting my time” drawing anime.


Let me explain myself.
It’s not that I’m not having fun anymore. I am. I’ve gotten so much better at it and learning new things in order to be able to draw better is something I REALLY LIKE. On average I spend more time doodling now than ever, really. DA is just a mother lode when it comes to accomplished artists and I can’t tell you how many times I have opened up a deviation and just stared at it for HOURS.


And of course I do like fangirling and that’s half the experience when you draw anime. I mean, on the scale of fangirl intensity (10 designating I WANNA BEAR UR BABIES) I’d probably be a 1. Even then it’s fun to play along and pretend I have absolutely no brain whatsoever so I can take I break from myself. Does that make sense? WHEN I TYPE IN BOLD ALL CAPS IT’S REALLY AN EXPRESSION OF MY ANTI-PERSONALITY. I’M NOT LIKE THIS IRL. UNLESS I’M PRETTY PISSED.


And that’s something I’ve come to appreciate because I hate being this person that’s blank and reserved and not really assertive and gets straight A’s and a perfect SAT score, what else did you expect from a little Asian girl? Really. Also I happen to be emotionally retarded which may be WHY I LIKE CAPSLOCK SOMETIMES OKAY (as I said before). I’m impatient, I’m irrational, but I’m also really good at stopping myself from doing or saying things that could be interpreted as “mean.” I, myself, don’t want to be interpreted the wrong way. It doesn't matter that I don't know what "the wrong way" in a definite sense.


So the Internet, it’s nice, because you have pretty much a blank slate. People don't come in with a preconception of how you're supposed to act. So it’s really your own fault if you screw things up for yourself. It's sort of like...building yourself up. So drawing anime has partially served that purpose. I think my art is something I derive a sense of pride from, but maybe not in the healthiest way.


I mean, the reason I have a deviantART is because I won’t risk showing people my work IRL. I really stopped showing anybody my sketchbook except for a few individuals, and even that’s rare because I’M SO DAMN AFRAID OF GETTING SHOT DOWN. (Lizzie, even you haven’t seen the entirety of my work. And thank you in advance if you're the only person to comment on this journal.)

I mean, what’s the worst that can happen to you online? FLAMERS AND HATERS, YOU AMUSE ME, really. I don’t get any but sometimes I wish I did. It’d be a nice change from “niiiice” or “wow cute!!!111oneone.”


How do I reply to that, anyways? Usually like this: “Thank youuuu <3” Your grammar and spelling is actually really irking me for some reason but I won’t tell you that, of course. And everybody, I apologize for being so disingenuous.


I’d rather have criticism from all sorts of people, unfounded or not. It would hurt (maybe, I rather doubt it) but it might also seem more real to me. I just wish people wouldn’t mince words when they really couldn’t care less.


There’s been some progress because when I first came to DA I looked at these members with 50,000 pageviews and thought to myself, “Wow, that’s shitty, and I could do better.” So that’s what motivated me for a while, but not now, I’m humbled in that sense.


Still, I’m amazingly EGOTASTIC. I want people to know that I can draw, that I can draw well, and I want to get praise for it. I'd like recognition without...people writing me off as a complete otaku. Not that it's bad...but it undermines what I'm capable of. It absolutely KILLS me when this one girl in my advisement brings her sketchbook in, and it’s full of stuff I could’ve drawn in third grade. She gets compliments on the crap that she draws, and WOW NOW I HAVE AN URGE TO THROTTLE SOMEBODY.


The truth is, the Internet gives me a chance to connect the tactless, funny, nonsensical, frustrated, beautiful, and comforting without really...putting myself out there. It’s safe.


For me, it’s also cowardly, and I want to move past it.


I don’t know. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I knew I had a problem when it extended beyond purely drawing anime. So basically it boils down to how I'm a big fat hypocrite and can't solve my own dilemmas.
*pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21799531/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21799531/ Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:08:54 PST
Check it out!
[link]

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21650727/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21650727/ Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:07:53 PST
Let me start with something that may or may not be obvious to you: I don't have a 'vision' like some do for their art. Art is just something I do and enjoy because it’s what happens when you mix enthusiasm and dedication. This is my reality, though, and I realize it may not be everybody's (my parents, for example).

So I really appreciate the DA community for the providing the medium in which I can share my work with such a receptive audience. No other art community is as inclusive or accessible as DA - everything here seems to be a communal effort. I mean, is there even another place like this in the vast world of interwebs? There isn’t. Doesn’t it kick ass?!

Moreover, I’m getting this tickly warm feeling inside while writing this because I know there are a handful of people willing to give me their comments, their favorites, their watches. I’m particularly dense and required an inbox full of activity messages to prompt me into writing this journal. There’s something insanely cool about logging on to DA and seeing that a few deviants have seen your newest post. I don’t know, maybe I’m just making a big deal out of things, but that feeling hasn’t changed much. Err, that warm, fuzzy one. I think. So thankyouthankyouthankyou...

That being said, I’m going to go to work on a 5000 pageview kiriban this weekend! So everybody have a great Thanksgiving!!

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21597193/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21597193/ Fri, 21 Nov 2008 12:47:05 PST
I'm wondering why I stuck around long enough to wade into the shit that is Naruto Shippuden. It's. Just. BULLSHIT. Did, like, your scripter freaking DIE and leave you to write retarded plots of your own? Being popular doesn't give you a legit excuse to roll over and die and give your readers absolute bull. Or take away the integrity of your work. Even the angst and drama, even those are things I miss because they are painfully NONEXISTENT in your recent chapters. Back when I started the series I always felt guilty for liking the onedimensional characters and dialogue. But at least I enjoyed it.

What happened to character development? Hell, WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CHARACTERS?! You throw in a bunch of new villains with not the least bit of backstory, primarily as cannon fodder. Some mangas do the snowballing thing, gain momentum as they go on, but here, here, things fall apart. Utterly. Irrevocably.

And here I throw in A PERSONAL OFFENSE, because of all things you killed off my favorite character, which was unexpected seeing as how damn popular he was. You certainly get points for trying to resurrect a flatlining audience. UNLESS it's just a fake, which would also be pretty lame like Dragon Ball Z // ORZ I AM RESURRECTED AGAIN FOR THE TEN MILLIONTH TIME WITH NEW GODMODING POWERS BIG FUCKING SURPRISE.

Can we...seriously, wow...I can't belive I'm typing this, I'm so frustrated... Can we just get back to the happy times when there was Naruto and Sasuke and the rest of the gang? HELL YOU CAN EVEN THROW IN JIRAIYA AND OROCHIMARU IF YOU WANT, I DON'T CARE.

PLEASE. Just cut the crap.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21568473/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21568473/ Wed, 19 Nov 2008 15:34:34 PST
Woman 1: "You know I like 'em large."
Woman 2: "Yeah, I know."

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21330685/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21330685/ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 22:31:04 PST
]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21238530/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21238530/ Thu, 30 Oct 2008 19:38:57 PDT Like history is gone/
The world keeps spinning on/
You're going going gone/
Like summer break is gone/
Like saturday is gone/
Just try to prove me wrong/

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21102679/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21102679/ Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:21:00 PDT
Was there anything I could have done to make it better? Any of it?

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21038397/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/21038397/ Fri, 17 Oct 2008 20:51:23 PDT 7:00 - 1:45 School
2:00 - 6:00 Tennis Match (4-14)
7:00 - 9:00 Calculus/Physics Tutoring
12:00 Sleep

Wednesday:
7:00 - 1:45 School
2:00 - 5:30 Tennis Practice
7:00 - 9:00 Fall Orchestra Concert
1:45 Sleep

Thursday:
7:00 - 1:45 School (and Calculus quiz, yay?!)
2:00 - 6:30 Tennis Match (2-16)
7:00 - 8:15 AP Physics Lab
2:00 Sleep

Friday:
7:00 - 1:45 School (and AP Physics exam. I'm pretty sure I failed)
2:00 - 4:00 "Light" Tennis Practice
4:30 - 6:00 Chiropractic Examination and Therapy
6:30 - 8:00 Meeting with College Counselor


I hope you all are less miserable than I am. It's the weekend, whoo.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/20747631/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/20747631/ Mon, 29 Sep 2008 18:19:26 PDT 57mannequins,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm going to join the monastery. I think I realized it when I threw up at the Hare Krishna graduation and I saw you carve your initials into my avacado plant. I'm sure you're man enough to understand that I get turned on by garbage men. I'm returning your memories from the military service to you, but I'll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about the Oprah Winfrey imitations..

Disgusting regards,
pitoli










ZOMG THIS MEME IS FRICKING HILARIOUS. I tag anybody who reads this, I'm sure there're not too many of you, anyways...Don't cheat to get the answers you want, by the way, it's not as funny.
Sorry about this, Lizzie. But I'm sure you're man enough to understand you were the last person to comment on my journal. xD

MEME LINK: [link]

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/20625147/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/20625147/ Mon, 22 Sep 2008 18:24:30 PDT



1.
Anyways, here's my first feature, ~57mannequins, who was kind enough to tag me (and give me chicken pox today, probably). She dominates painting/drawing/photography, but she's modest, so she won't tell you that, of course. She's also wonderfully amusing. Mostly, anyways.
I'm Ready.:.Don't Blow It.:.Roger Federer

C'MON, FILL UP THOSE SPOTS GAIZ.

2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.

Please participate! I mean, who doesn't want a feature, really...

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/20357470/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/20357470/ Sat, 06 Sep 2008 12:33:59 PDT
]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/20235242/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/20235242/ Sat, 30 Aug 2008 11:53:36 PDT
Actually being immersed in the political excitement of Denver for the convention was just...amazing! I can't describe it any other way. I went to Denver not really understanding how the Democrats draw voters to the party and came out a really strong Obama/Biden supporter.

I was high since Thursday night when we got to see Obama's acceptance speech at Invesco Field. I'd also seen him at a breakfast with the Illinois delegation (where I brushed his hand, LOL). Getting an average of 4 hours of sleep made us delirious on bus rides to and from Boulder, not to mention events with different press and corporate presences.

Now I'm sedated because I slept over 12 hours, ergo the boring summary of my week.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/20116683/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/20116683/ Sat, 23 Aug 2008 16:34:10 PDT
NO MORE ART UPDATES FOR A WHILE...
and here's why:

For six days I'll be in Denver, Colorado, camerawhoring at the Democratic Convention. Apparently I have to get a picture of myself standing next to Obama or else no one will believe I actually went. Not to mention all that other dignified student delegate stuff, like meeting with political leaders and media representatives and debating with the other 200 kids in the program who are all probably smarter and taller than I am. ON THE FLIP SIDE, when I get off my flight there will be a JSA staffer waiting at the baggage claim and holding a sign with my name on it. (Little things like that, they make me feel important.)

On top of that, there's all that summer assignment crap I have yet to truly finish (or start...whichever you like) because I am a master PROCRASTINATORATORATOR. YAY. Also because I'm busy bitching about my school schedule which currently includes zero period English and no foreign language. (Yet, I have three homework labs and two open periods. Is someone going to tell me they couldn't fit Spanish into my schedule?!)

And when school actually gets around to starting, I'll probably be dead after the first week or so.

So yep. Hope that explains exactly why you won't hear from me much for a while.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/20049584/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/20049584/ Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:57:43 PDT In fact, it's sort of sad.

C'mon Kimmie. Pull yourself together.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/19902428/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/19902428/ Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:44:22 PDT I mean, with your symptoms, it's not going to be easy, but we can fix it. Don't worry. It's manageable.

And when nothing really works I just get a pity look from them, Oh sorry it must be the hormones screwing with your system, you know? but still, we'll continue with the treatment, not really changing anything because we're too fucking proud to admit we make mistakes like everyone else.

Parents not helping.
"Trying this time can't hurt."
Well it can't fucking help either.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/19814474/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/19814474/ Wed, 06 Aug 2008 18:41:59 PDT
1. I got my driver's license! xD
-is amazed she even passed-
I was quite close to failing, honestly. But, I had a cheerful evaluator who gave me the benefit of the doubt. After the exam was over we sat in the parking lot and chatted about the new cellphone laws and idiots on their cellphones and karma when it came to road rage. Haha. My mom was saying it was lucky that I didn't have a female evaluator (women, she says, are generally less generous when it comes to these things).

2. My parents opened a savings account for me. Bwahaha, I've already made two visits to the ATM to deposit money into my savings. Happy that I don't have to find new hiding places for my birthday money every month or so. xD Instead it sits on all of, I dunno, .01% interest or something.

3. Tomorrow afternoon I'm leaving for a weekend trip to Berkeley and San Luis Obispo, two of around ten colleges I'm still considering applying to in the winter. I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD to the 7-hour drive there and back. I know it's not that bad, actually, but I'm a huge whiner nevertheless.

4. I'm trying to get as much drawing done in the meantime.


Kthxbai.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/19608716/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/19608716/ Sat, 26 Jul 2008 14:53:33 PDT 8/7/08: 2/100

1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head [link]
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold [link]
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/19316124/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/19316124/ Thu, 10 Jul 2008 18:20:22 PDT
This is a general list of things that have happened to me this year that I'm thankful/not thankful for, in no particular order because I can't remember things and I'm screwy like that. D:



Getting my Facebook, October 28, 2008. I was originally against social networking sites, but this one taught me to have a bit of fun. The first month I had about a billion different applications, now I have...less than that. It's great to have the means of talking to people I otherwise wouldn't be able to keep in touch with.

Returning from my DA hiatus. The credit goes entirely to :icon57manneqquins:, no joke. While I do gripe from time to time about the way things work here, overall DA has helped me grow this year, and I'm grateful for that.

The crushing of my already small ego, either through deviantsearches or other looks into creative phenomena. People are so much more talented than I am, really... I'm going to die of envy someday.

Actually being able to see Rated-R movies without movie-hopping. I have yet to take advantage of this...

Learning so many variations of "LOL" that I don't think I can remember them all...Mainly, credit goes to ~57mannequins, again.

Becoming more responsible. I may sound like a spoiled brat when I say this, but before junior year I hadn't really helped out around the house/held my own leash in situations. xDD Super spoiled...

Changing into a drama queen. It was comparable to being bipolar, sometimes. Seriously, I don't know how I got through everything that went on at school and home simultaneously or not. It was crazy and I could bitch about it very well by the end. xDD But I do tend to blow things out of proportion.

Wii, self-explanatory. I NEED WII FRIENDS, THOUGH. DDD: I finally got to play Guitar Hero and now have a jazzy red faceplate.

I don't know how often this happens to other people, but I've become distant with people I used to be very close with, be it through misunderstandings or deliberation. And on the flip side, I met fun new people through my classes that I hope I get to spend time with again... Yay.

My stand partner in orchestra. She speaks English with anime-Japanese words sprinkled in, stares at me for no reason, and thinks she can become a professional musician. Likes FAILING at gymnastics all over the instrumental room, generally overstepping her bounds, and butting into conversations with irrelevant comments. She also has a crush on our 2nd p... ]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/19234172/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/19234172/ Sun, 06 Jul 2008 11:27:29 PDT YOU'RE KILLING MEEEEEEE.

EDIT: MMKAY, NADAL, YOU WIN.
CAPSLOCK BECAUSE MY DAY IS RUINED.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/18958906/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/18958906/ Fri, 20 Jun 2008 23:03:35 PDT
I think...I have a very, very low tolerance level for high temperatures. Or at least my skin does. Because my face is currently in the process of exploding.

I'm so sweaty I'm sticking to everything. I don't want to play tennis. I don't want to exercise. I want to lie on my stomach playing Mario Kart with the fan blowing directly at my face.

I visited the University of Spoiled Children today. And I find that nickname ironic, because from what I heard most of the classes at USC are on par with community college courses. USC students pay more tuition to go to a school with lower academic rankings than UCs in a bad neighborhood. And I am freaked out by their sports culture. It's a cult. And you never get out of it, gah.

I was impressed by the School of Architecture, though. I was lucky enough to have a one-on-one Q&A session with an actual arch. faculty member, 'twas awesome and informative. Okay, it wasn't one-on-one, but the only girl there besides me looked pretty uninterested in the major and only there because her mom and dad were practicing architects. Go figure.

Squee. Unfortunately applying to the program means creating a portfolio of 10-20 significant artworks in the next couple of months. And somehow getting to be the 150 freshmen selected every year.



No more pencils/No more books/No more teachers' dirty looks

LIES! Summer school starts this Monday.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/18497291/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/18497291/ Sun, 25 May 2008 15:43:52 PDT
Before reading this entry, please see: [link]
Good stuff.

Anyways, this time I was provoked by Stephanie Meyer's Twilight. I have a list of complaints that seems to grow the more I contemplate the book. Ever since the series started I've noticed a bunch of people I know turn into mindless fangirls. And even some people I thought who knew better turned on me and decided to like the novels.

Eventually I decided it wasn't fair on my part to judge a book I'd only heard of through these mindless fangirls/book reviews/Barnes and Noble ads. As I said to ~57mannequins previously, I wasn't going to judge a book by its cover; I would judge it by its disgusting contents.

So I got one of my friends (who, incidentally, disliked the book) to lend me her copy of Twilight.



And HEERRRRREEEEEEEE I GO:
(I apologize in advance for being biased in the first place, but I don't think anything I could have done would have changed that.)



Grievance #1. Let's just get this out of the way: it's a horrible book. Horrible. It doesn't get better as the plot progresses; "It's not," as *makani says, "SO BAD IT'S GOOD." It's so bad it's...bad.

Grievance #2. The feminist in me hated the construct of the characters. I didn't connect with Bella at all. To expand on this, she appears to be concerned with the problems of others, but in every case it comes down to her own problems. This is what Bella feels, this is what Bella wants. Who cares that it comes at the expense of others. Initially Bella is described as perceptive, observant, and clever, but without Edward she is a different (read: weak!) person. Does she really need to trip over herself all the time, drop things, or faint repeatedly?!! Through her actions it's pretty clear that she is ridiculously dependent and needs to be saved from certain death for the millionth time (AT WHICH POINT I WAS READY TO CHUCK THE BOOK ACROSS THE ROOM.)

Okay, so I hated Bella. But you know, I liked Edward. It makes sense. We both share godlike beauty, mind-numbing speed and awesome parallel parking skills, so it was easy to rally for him!!//SARCASM. I was annoyed with the fact that Edward was always dictating the status quo of the relationship. Bella is/was a sexual object. It's an old stereotype: women are temptresses to men, who heroically deny their appetites/impulses.

Grievance #3. WTF is up with the melodrama?! Okay, okay, I do understand that teenagers are ALL melodrama, I do, I really do. Why is Bella's heart either pounding or stalling? I do realize that Meyer writes to the young adult crowd, so it makes perfect sense that they relate to the terrible angst. I found myself rolling my eyes every few pages.

Grievance #4. I was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of romance. Not that it was cliche or cheesy in any way, NO OF COURSE NOT. I now know that no woman will EVER tire of hearing that you love her, thank you Stephanie Meyer. I will make sure to employ that particular tactic on the women around me someday. Telling them they smell "floral somehow" doesn't hurt either I guess.

Grievance #5. I don't have problems with authors including mythical creatures in their novels (as in Harry Potter), only with authors using them to sell books. Simply put, I think vampires (and later, werewolves) in the Twilight series served only to make the story appealing to young readers. Of course tweens find vampires sexy. Meyer did not even attempt to take an introspective look into the non-human. I was a bit disappointed.

Grievance #6. The pacing is retarded, for lack of better words. All the action seems to come after page 300 with little to no plotbuilding. Rising action, falling action? Tension? Oh, unless you're talking about sexual tension? That's a different story. There's plenty of that.


Anyways, I made a post to this effect on a fan forum and got this response:

"if you do not like twilght there is something insanly wrong with you or the rest of the world who is head over heals for this book. i WILL be buried with the book Twilight one day. It is worth the money! I even have two copies! Anyone would be as clingy as bella if they had a drop dead perfect edward cullen by their side. Yes, Jacob black is an amazing guy and he is in fact my second dream guy, but with edward cullen there is thrill and constant danger and a family of vampires who could adopt you for their own and in reality are just trying to do good in the world and save people by being doctors and hunt animals instead of hunting people. What... ]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/18294777/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/18294777/ Mon, 12 May 2008 18:29:04 PDT
In no particular order:

1) My AP Bio exam was this morning. I'd rather not talk about it. xDD

Still looking forward to AP English Language Wednesday, and AP Art History next Thursday.

2) Even though it's old news, my college tour trip went pretty well. I've posted a few of my favorite photos from the trip and will continue to put up more...once I've edited them.

3) I've started figure drawing basics. Because I realize my sketches suck, haha~. Anyways I put it up to never having actually been taught to draw people. Or people doing things. Which is generally at the crux of anime. I'll post these when I get better. A HECKUVA LOT BETTER. Right now I'm too ashamed. xDDD

4) I really want to sneak out and take photos and enter them in all these DA contests for a mere CHANCE at winning a subscription.

5) I HAVE A WII!! And no Wii friends! I know, it's sad. Talk to me and we can, liek, trade friendcodes.

Only thing is, I've been busy and can't get really good playing time on it. Mario Kart is so going to waste over here!!


Anyways, I think I'll end on that happy note.
Sorry for wasting...the minutes of your life, however long it took you to read through this. xDD

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/17720230/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/17720230/ Sun, 06 Apr 2008 17:50:25 PDT
I'M FREAKING GOING TO NEW YORK TOMORROW.

With my two good friends.
Okay, not just the three of us. (Although they're both extremely responsible. I'm not.)
If it was just the three of us my parents would probably alert the police force in advance. :B

We're going with a tour group (of the Korean fob variety) to see eight popular East Coast universities.
One of my friends doesn't speak any Korean (she's from Taiwan) so at least I won't feel left out at the orientation. Still I feel so guilty that I'm half Korean and will probably be asking my other friend for minute-by-minute translations. I BRING DISHONOR TO MY FAMILY NAME. (For some reason I thought of Mulan momentarily.)

Anyways I will be sure to take tons of pictures so I can flood DA when I come back. (Six days of no DA! Shock.)









And to entertain you while I'm gone xDDDD

[Personal Survey Meme] jacked from =Kaze-Hime

Info
[x] I am shorter than 5'4. (What a lovely way to start this off. Emphasizing my dwarfish proportions.)
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars. (I guess it would depend on who you compared me to...)
[x] I tan easily. (But not as easily as my sister, HAH.)
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color. (I got over this wish in like elementary school.)
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I've had braces. (Got them off my freshman year of high school.)
[x] I wear glasses. (Only occasionally, when I need to see small print from far away. I used to be like blind in only one eye but now it’s getting to be both aghhhh.)
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger. (I’m guessing it was a pity compliment. xD)
[ ] I have more than 2 piercing.
[ ] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[ ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[ ] I've sworn at my parents. (If I did I’d never have lived to see this day. Asian familial piety dies hard D
[x] I've run away from home. (When I was like seven LOLLLZ. Except, I biked away from home DDD)
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday. (Then I’ll probably kick myself at how mean I am to my parents, OTL.)
[ ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[x] I'm in school. (Whoopde-flippin-do.)
[ ] I have a job
[ ] I've fallen asleep at work/school (I really try hard not to. You probably don’t believe me though.)
[x] I almost always do my homework. (It’s a struggle.)
[ ] I've missed a week or more of school.
[x] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years (I don’t feel this to be a crowning achievement though.)
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year
[ ] I've stolen something from my job
[ ] I've been fired

Embarrassment
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation. (I'M SORRRYYYYY, OH GOD HAVE MERCY I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAINNNNNN.)
[ ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ ] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing. (I do this on purpose to my mother. ON PURPOSE, YOU HEAR ME.)
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something.
[x] I've had my pants rip in public. (At the airport luggage claim. I was sitting on the edge when my skirt got caught by the revolving belt. When I was like eight.)

Health
[x] I was born with a disease/impairment. (Excema. I’d rather call it a condition, thank you very much.)
[ ] I've gotten stitches/staples.
[ ] I've broken a bone. (I feel pretty lucky. )
[ ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[ ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed. (I chickened out when I found out I was allergic to the strongest anesthetic they could give me LOLLLLL so I still have to do it.)
[ ] I had a serious surgery.
[ ] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling
[ ] I've driven over 200 miles in one day. (I’ve been a passenger though. My dad fureaking loves road trips.)
[x] I've been on a plane.
[x] I've... ]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/17703449/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/17703449/ Sat, 05 Apr 2008 17:55:40 PDT
Unfortunately my drawing now comes down to 1) Doodling at home 2) Doodling with Lizzie and 3) Trying new things to disastrous effect.

This has gotten me scared, for one thing, because I no longer think I am growing as an artist. My reasons for coming to DA have always involved my personal improvement, whether it was through constructive criticism or the influences of others’ art styles. Drawing used to make sense. With the right attitude and huge amounts of practice, you could always improve. Fixing things only takes time and dedication.

I don’t know. I’ve lost some of my enthusiasm. I know I’ve gotten significantly better with the ins and outs of photography, but I don’t feel like that will ever be something I enjoy as much as drawing. It simply doesn’t give me the same burst of interest as when I figure out how to draw something new for the first time. It’s special, for someone as untalented, careless, and unoriginal as I am to get this simple feeling. Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to describe a high xDD

For me, everything’s quiet right now; nothing’s happening. I don’t know if I’m not trying hard enough, or if I’m trying the wrong things, but everything seems to be going towards conflicting directions. I can’t tell if I’m getting anywhere, if I’m improving anymore.

I cringe every time I think about this babbling, ranting nonsense.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/17279827/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/17279827/ Mon, 10 Mar 2008 23:05:52 PDT
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Kimmie (or Eimmik, which do you like better?)
2. Kimbo
3. ‘Berly

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. twinkle_snowflake (NEOPETS LULZ)
2. alohaturtle (back when I used to write fanfiction; I SUCKED SO BAD.)
3. pitoli

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Hmmm, how about my godlike muscial abilities? If I had any.
2. Ehehe.
3. I think I’ll fail this section of the questionnaire.

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I work too hard.*
2. I care too much.*
3. This would be SUCH a difficult interview question. xP I can't answer it without sounding like an idiot.
*Sarcasm. BECAUSE OF COURSE MY WEAKNESSES ARE ACTUALLY JUST HIDDEN STRENGTHS LOLFUX.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Silverfish (those ugly things you find in the bathroom and have to trap under glass cups)
2. Crocs. Or whatever you call’em.
3. APs/SATs/ACT

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Live.
2. Laugh.
3. Love?

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. A smile.
2. My dinner.
3. Pajama pants with a bleach stain. D:

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. Star Scat (Caravan Palace)
2. The Dance (Dave Koz)
3. Landscapes (David Benoit)
Pretty obscure music xD For most listeners anyways.

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. Photoshop 7 ;______;
2. Get started on my manga idea.
3. Relax.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. UHHHH.
2. ...
3. Requital?

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. I can sleep with my eyes closed.
2. I patronized a lemonade stand today.
3. I iz a genius!

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Uhhh, face? In general. I don’t know.
2. Intelligence, haha.
3. I fail at this question too.

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Stop being nerdy.
2. Spell.
3. Survive junior year possiblyyyy. Time will tell. T_____T

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
1. Video games. Omg, don’t let me near your Wii, I’d probably steal it.
2. Eating my weight in random Korean dishes.
3. Full-contact, competitive origami. ;DDD

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Update my iPod.
2. Finish my practice college essay...
3. Sleep.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Architecture.
2. And that better go well,
3. because I have no Plan B.

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Greece
2. Vietnam
3. Korea

THREE KID'S NAMES:
1. Luke.
2. Guy.
3. Anise.
Wow so retarded. I want kids like them!!

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Live?!!
2. Be a parent so I can stop being such an ungrateful bitch to mine.
3. Skydive. No seriously. I want to.

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY:
1. You
2. You
3. And YOU.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/17125251/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/17125251/ Fri, 29 Feb 2008 22:01:09 PST
I'm feeling a considerable change in spirits as I just got back from watching our high school's spring musical, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

WHICH WAS FREAKING AWESOME. Now I understand why the tickets were a bit pricey - each dancer/singer/extra had about 5 different costume changes for transitions and WOW...I had no idea some of my peers were so talented. Certain people just popped out and I was like, "HOLY HELL THEY CAN SING." And hey, it was so entertaining that even my dad stayed awake the entire time. My mum didn't even have to pinch him ONCE. My sister was actually playing in the pit orchestra, so I heard her solos, which were pretty good. And friends were backstage, changing the sets and pushing the triggers for confetti and setting off SEXPLOSIONS OF FIRE.

Also, a classmate saw me and my parents and they TOTALLY mistook my mom for my sister. I can't remember the last time I LOLLED SO HARD. People were seriously...looking at me weirdly after that. Hey, I can't help it that my mom looks SO YOUNG (she doesn't, really). She was pretty flattered.

Grateful for this jumpstart to my weekend which should be full of TV and video gameshard work and productivity. >> Hopefully...

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/17063212/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/17063212/ Mon, 25 Feb 2008 18:37:05 PST Shift happens.

Tired of Drifting? Me, too.
Get out of the drift of Victim, Villain, and Hero drama by learning to “Shift” yourself back into Ease and Flow.
How? Try these:
First, BREATHE! (It’s the #1 recommended solution by the top metaphysicians around the world.)
Then, try breathing again. And, again. And, again.
Quite stunning what oxygen in our brains and bodies does for us, eh?
Other ways to make a shift? Try speaking authentically, truly loving the experience, re-committing to your ideals, moving your body in a new way, or using this challenge as another opportunity to get closer to your Essence.
Fun.


Excerpted from this blog.

Damn. You know what? That didn’t affect me at all. It was so optimistic, but I don't feel a thing. I should try breathing sometime.

Hyperventilating is actually more like it.

I’ve been really...out of it lately, I don’t know. I try to be on my best behavior at school, but sometimes it just spills out and I find myself staring at a ceiling panel or drooling on my desk or whatever it is. At home too. More than once in the last week my parents have had to wave a hand in front of me at the dinner table.

I feel deadened. Ennui. Things I used to like, I don’t like anymore. Things I used to tolerate, I hate. My sources of LOLLLLLZZZZ are steadily dwindling as I don’t have the time or the patience to exploit them.

And oh yes, I’m going to blame it all on school, which is as hectic as ever (okay, not all of it, but most of it). I am officially getting a B in math, but really I saw that coming and now I will have to work to change it. (You can really tell what a nerd I am from how I mention my grades and/or school in every journal post.) I know all this studying will benefit me someday, I really understand that. I can’t get mad at my parents for wanting me to do well in my classes, or ranting at me when I fail to do so. That’s so much like Christians getting angry at God. You know how that happens sometimes. So I keep it in.

Hell, I’m really slow. I should be learning by observing when this happens to other people so I’m not so disoriented when it hits me.

Despite my state, I am COMPLETELY filled to the brim with ideas. I have no idea whether they’re good ideas or not, but I dare to hope so. I seriously have the biggest urge to throw it all down so I can just doodle in my sketchbook, try new mediums, and put my damn camera to use. I’m just waiting for the chance. It’s been like this for a while now - I’d seriously rather suffer a crippling artist’s block than want to draw all day.

And if you read through all of this...I hope it explains why I seem less enthusiastic these days. And thank you for listening.

Well, yeah, I’m sure you’re pretty uplifted now.

On another note, I LOVE the mood icon I selected.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/16612292/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/16612292/ Mon, 28 Jan 2008 12:31:00 PST
I'm a bit giddy right now because I just uploaded 150+ songs to my iPod. It's all classical music, which makes me a weirdo. Classical piano sonatas, to be exact.

My dad is taking away the tabletPC I currently have. His employer, apparently, leases computers since new ones are coming out all the time and shit. So the company's current fleet of tabletPCs and other outdated OS are being shipped back...to wherever they came from. Well, it's not like I had a REAL tablet in the first place, but I enjoyed working with oekakis and whatnot with the tablet pen. I should've taken WAAAAAYYY more advantage of it but I didn't know it was going away so soon. Hindsight makes everything look so dumb and obvious. There goes my chance at any digital art.

Going back to school probably means I won't be updating for quite awhile (again, LULZ). I'll try, but sorry. Chances are. NO. I don't know how I managed fall semester as a junior, but for the spring I've got way more classes stacked up (including pre-calculus with the most dreadful math teacher ever to walk this earth) so basically yeah I'm screeeewwwed. Oh boy, can't wait for final grade reports to show up at my house. Yippee.

Sorry for such a lame-ass update, and sorry for the non-updates in advance. I'll see you when I see you.

AND I KNOW I PROMISED TO BE NON-PRODUCTIVE BUT I AM ACCEPTING ART TRADES AND COMMISSIONS against my better judgment. Please consider.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/14062104/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/14062104/ Tue, 07 Aug 2007 15:30:45 PDT
Seriously OTL. I fucking HATE my allergies. Apparently it wasn't anything I ate last night, but instead some sort of horsehair trace on somebody who was sitting near me. I was at community college last night, so I won't know who to blame for it. Or to kill in cold blood for that matter.

As if I wasn't self-conscious already. With this face I frikkin' have to be.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13986995/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13986995/ Thu, 02 Aug 2007 13:27:37 PDT
Ripped from Rishaga-chan. I’m not actually as phobia-prone as I thought I’d be...

x - sorta
xx - greater
xxx - evil crippling fear

[x] Achluophobia - Fear of darkness.
[ ] Acrophobia - Fear of heights.
[xx] Agliophobia - Fear of pain.
[ ] Agoraphobia - Fear of open spaces or crowds.
[xx] Aichmophobia - Fear of needles or pointed objects.
[ ] Amaxophobia - Fear of riding in a car.
[ ] Androphobia - Fear of men.
[xxxxxx] Anginophobia - Fear of angina or choking.
[ ] Anthrophobia - Fear of flowers.
[ ] Anthropophobia - Fear of people or society.
[xx] Aphenphosmphobia - Fear of being touched.
[ ] Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders.
[ ] Arithmophobia - Fear of numbers.
[ ] Astraphobia - Fear of thunder and lightening.
[ ] Ataxophobia - Fear of disorder or untidiness.
[ ] Atelophobia - Fear of imperfection.
[xxx] Atychiphobia - Fear of failure.
[x] Autophobia - Fear of being alone.

B
[ ] Bacteriophobia - Fear of bacteria.
[ ] Barophobia - Fear of gravity.
[ ] Bathmophobia - Fear of stairs or steep slopes.
[ ] Batrachophobia - Fear of amphibians.
[ ] Bibliophobia - Fear of books.
[ ] Botanophobia - Fear of plants.

C
[ ] Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.
[xx] Catagelophobia - Fear of being ridiculed publicly.
[x ] Catoptrophobia - Fear of mirrors.
[ ] Chionophobia - Fear of snow.
[ ] Chromophobia - Fear of colors.
[ ] Chronomentrophobia - Fear of clocks.
[ ] Claustrophobia - Fear of confined spaces.
[x] Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns.
[ ] Cyberphobia - Fear of computers.
[ ] Cynophobia - Fear of dogs.

D
[ ] Dendrophobia - Fear of trees.
[ ] Dentophobia - Fear of dentists.
[ ] Domatophobia - Fear of houses.
[xx] Dystychiphobia - Fear of accidents.

E
[ ] Ecophobia - Fear of the home.
[x] Elurophobia - Fear of cats.
[ ] Ephebiphobia - Fear of teenagers.
[ ] Equinophobia - Fear of horses.

G
[ ] Gamophobia - Fear of marriage.
[ ] Genuphobia - Fear of knees.
[xxx] Glossophobia - Fear of speaking in public.
[ ] Gynophobia - Fear of women.

H
[ ] Heliophobia - Fear of the sun.
[x] Hemophobia - Fear of blood.
[ ] Herpetophobia - Fear of reptiles.
[ ] Hydrophobia - Fear of water.

I
[ ] Iatrophobia - Fear of doctors.
[ ] Insectophobia - Fear of insects.

K
[ ] Koinoniphobia - Fear of rooms.

L
[ ] Leukophobia - Fear of the color white.
[ ] Lilapsophobia - Fear of tornadoes and hurricanes.
[x] Lockiophobia - Fear of childbirth.

M
[ ] Mageirocophobia - Fear of cooking.
[ ] Melanophobia - Fear of the color black.
[ ] Microphobia - Fear of small things.
[ ] Mysophobia - Fear of dirt and germs.

N
[xx] Necrophobia - Fear of death or dead things.
[ ] Ombrophobia - Fear of rain.
[x] Ophidiophobia - Fear of snakes.
[ ] Ornithophobia - Fear of birds.

P
[ ] Papyrophobia - Fear of paper.
[xx] Pathophobia - Fear of disease.
[ ] Pedophobia - Fear of children.
[ ] Philophobia - Fear of love.
[ ] Phobophobia - Fear of being afraid. xDDDD
[ ] Podophobia - Fear of feet.
[ ] Porphyrophobia - Fear of the color purple.
[ ] Pteridophobia - Fear of ferns.
[ ] Pteromerhanophobia - Fear of flying.
[ ] Pyrophobia - Fear of fire.

S
[ ] Scolionophobia - Fear of school.
[ ] Selenophobia - Fear of the moon.
[xxx] Sociophobia - Fear of social evaluation.
[ ] Somniphobia - Fear of sleep.

T
[ ] Tachophobia - Fear of speed.
[ ] Technophobia - Fear of technology.
[ ] Tonitrophobia - Fear of thunder.
[xx] Trypanophobia - Fear of injections.

V-Z
[ ] Venustraphobia - Fear of beautiful women.
[ ] Verminophobia - Fear of germs.
[ ] Wiccaphobia - Fear of witches and witchcraft.
[ ] Xenophobia - Fear of strangers.
[ ] Zoophobia - Fear of animals.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13953955/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13953955/ Tue, 31 Jul 2007 09:33:46 PDT Not as cheesy of those other lovers.
I love you like a video game
One that is awesome and not lame.
I love you like a good hentai
One that doesn't make me say
"What the fuck?
Tentacle rape!"
I love you like I love art
The careful and interprative part
I love you like the sound of rock
The kind of thing that can't be torn apart
I love you like a nice anime
One that dips down and make the fan girls scream "Yay!
Look at those two leading same sex characters
Let's make then sleep in bed together ignoring the creators!"
I love you like a n00b loves to cyber
it r0x0r5 mai sox & iz lyk sumtin wit nu timar!!!!


I don't expect anyone to really get this...But it was amusing. During the time that me and my friend wrote it, that is. We really need...um, help?

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13657277/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13657277/ Sun, 08 Jul 2007 10:33:51 PDT
And Roger won Wimbledon!! Hell yeahhhhhh! For the fifth time in a row - he now shares a record with Bjorn Borg. And though I do feel sympathy for Nadal,

I can't really describe how elated I am right now.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13564427/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13564427/ Sun, 01 Jul 2007 13:30:11 PDT
Did I mention my sixteenth birthday is next Saturday? 7/7/07. It's funny because I keep on reading articles about all the couples getting married that day - 31,000, to be exact. And all the heavy gamblers planning to go all out.

And Wimbledon's going on, too! If all goes well (based on the rain delays this week, it won't) I might to watch some decent matches that day. Rooting for Roger as always on the men's side - Roddick can't even get past the semifinal as he's in the same draw as Federer. Either Amelie or Justine in the women's.

Yeah, that's my blurb for today. I'm thinking about taking requests in the near future - as soon as I can get used to the tablet and Photoshop...

P.S. New icon is handiwork of . She drew the cutest Meredy ever. ]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13255523/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13255523/ Thu, 07 Jun 2007 17:24:52 PDT
So I got assigned Machiavelli. Funny, since I took the Machiavellian Personality Test before and got a high score.

Which means I pretty much think it's okay to cheat, lie, steal, and backstab to get my way.

Anyways. Interested in taking the test? Choose:

...1 if you strongly disagree.
...2 if you disagree.
...3 if you can't decide or could go either way.
...4 if you agree.
...5 if you strongly agree.


1) Never tell anyone the real reason you did something unless it is useful to do so.
1 2 3 4 5

2) The best way to handle people is to tell them what they want to hear.
1 2 3 4 5

3) One should take action only when sure it is morally right.
1 2 3 4 5

4) Most people are basically good and kind.
1 2 3 4 5

5) It is safest to assume that all people have a vicious streak and it will come out when they are given a chance.
1 2 3 4 5

6) Honesty is the best policy in all cases.
1 2 3 4 5

7) There is no excuse for lying to someone else.
1 2 3 4 5

8) Generally speaking, people won't work hard unless they're forced to do so.
1 2 3 4 5

9) All in all, it is better to be humble and honest than to be important and dishonest.
1 2 3 4 5

10) When you ask someone to do something for you, it is best to give the real reasons for wanting it rather than giving reasons which sound better.
1 2 3 4 5

11) Most people who get ahead in the world lead clean, moral lives.
1 2 3 4 5

12) Anyone who completely trusts anyone else is asking for trouble.
1 2 3 4 5

13) The biggest difference between most criminals and other people is that the criminals are stupid enough to get caught.
1 2 3 4 5

14) Most people are brave.
1 2 3 4 5

15) It is wise to flatter important people.
1 2 3 4 5

16) It is possible to be good in all respects.
1 2 3 4 5

17) P.T. Barnum was wrong when he said that there's a sucker born every minute.
1 2 3 4 5

18) It is hard to get ahead without cutting corners here and there.
1 2 3 4 5

19) People suffering from incurable diseases should have the choice of being put painlessly to death.
1 2 3 4 5

20) Most people forget more easily the death of their parents than the loss of their property.
1 2 3 4 5


Add up your score; it's out of a total of 100.

1-60: Low Mach
Generally, you do not agree with the philosophy of Niccolo Machiavelli. You think it is best to be honest whenever you can, and that humans are innately good. True low Machs, however, can be kind of dependent, submissive and socially inept.

61-100: High Mach
High Machs constitute a distinct type: charming, confident and glib, but also arrogant, calculating and cynical, prone to manipulate and exploit. Think: Former President Clinton, Prime Minister Tony Blair.

If you want a reference on how Machiavellian I am, I got a score of 88.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13229686/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13229686/ Tue, 05 Jun 2007 15:35:44 PDT
I had my Trigonometry final today. Happy to say I'm pretty confident about it - except for the part where my teacher thought I was cheating (oops). My damned graphing calculator just has too many frikkin' capabilities.

Didn't feel like drawing today, but I posted some poems I wrote today in my lit class.

]]> *pitoli http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13153106/ http://pitoli.deviantart.com/journal/13153106/ Wed, 30 May 2007 15:41:14 PDT .>
Where's my social life? (i think now would be a good time to off and search for it).

Attempts by parents (to get me off video games):

Mom: I noticed you have an amazing tolerance for hunger when you're playing ToA.
Me: Mmm. *stomachgrumble*
Mom: You ate the six muffins this morning, didn't you?

Dad: Go outside and do whatever you kids do nowadays.
Mom: That would be smoking pot, honey.
Me: We live in a bubble, you think I'm falling for that?

Mom: So anyways. You wouldn't be playing Tales of the Abyss so often if you had some friends, hm?
Me: I wouldn't be playing Tales of the Abyss so often if you bought me a Wii.

]]> *pitoli