http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:punkstatikstar&section=today deviantART RSS for by:punkstatikstar en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 21:09:15 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/26820585/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/26820585/ Tue, 25 Aug 2009 16:10:14 PDT [MOVING]

I think It's time I've moved on...

_{To a new account that is.}


Yes, I'm officially leaving this account behind and storing all the pictures that I have submitted over the past two years and starting fresh.


I feel the need to get away. Also I want to be more professional in my work. (as soon as I can figure out what my style is, and how to better master it )

Nevertheless. I really want to get better. And I feel the only way to do that, is to start drawing with more challenge.


Unfortunately, I won't be giving out my new account through this journal. Though, I will send you the linkage via note and or IM. (so send me a note stating you want the new account damnit!)

So please, if You are an active watcher, I insist you follow me to the next account. I promise you won't regret it!!


_{and for the 'flakes'... don't even bother asking}



-Andrea aka MzGrace

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/26789278/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/26789278/ Mon, 24 Aug 2009 05:19:38 PDT

Now that I'm 20, with 160 credits under my belt... I have to pay to get into the school that is nearest to me. I am nervous that like last year, they won't process my transcripts and won't have me up to par with the credits I'm actually supposed to make up.

All this only heightens my fear of the real-world. Having to do so much, and come by so little. My last year in california was probably the worst. I had to go from building to building, financial aid, human resources office, and two different schools just to get everything I needed done. With little to no help from anyone. It was frustrating. But I realized that this is what people have to do in order to get things done, and I'm no exception to that.

I have my fingers crossed that all goes well today. Because I don't think I could handle another let down.


All this weekend, I've been telling myself that I really have to get all this shit straightened out. And if I don't go back to that school, atleast I can still get my transcripts and go to a different one.

In some small way, I'm actually happy that I've decided to go today. I know that if I hadn't suggested it thoughtfully, I would've slept the entire day and accomplished nothing.

I'm a little worried of the cost u.u; I haven't got much money, aside from what I get on the first of the month, and I'm too scared to take out a loan. With the way things are going today, theres no way I could find/keep a job long enough to pay that loan back. I'm hoping to God that this fucking school excepts payments. Because thats the only way I can think of paying them off. Ugh, thinking about all this at them moment, is making it hard for me to want to go. Though I already set myself up... theres no point in backing down now.










_{On a different note...}







I feel like I'm losing a couple special people as friends. It may very well be my own fault.

Whether it be the lack of communication, or that of misunderstanding.

I just feel like I'm in the wrong most of the time... and I don't think it could possibly change for the best. Either that, or I'm just not worth the effort or possibly I was never really a friend to consider in the first place.


I know that I'm not a special person, and shouldn't be considered as the greatest person to know. But I feel like being lost entirely from someone's life, what ever differences there may be, would seriously hurt me. But.. I can't change what happens.




+

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/26683473/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/26683473/ Sat, 22 Aug 2009 06:04:14 PDT NEW CHATROOM!!!


<sub>I have a new chatroom called #BrainTraumatic. Everyone is welcome to join. 8D




hopefully this one does a little better than DisownedbyThem





























Wherrrree to begin?


This weekend was pretty busy. My grandfather's birthday was on the 15th. And we celebrated it at his favorite bar. I've re-united with people that haven't seen me since I was about 5 years old. Not to mention these people have also watched my mother grow up. Hardly anyone has aged over the years. Especially my grand parents, who had set up the entire party. It was a quiet get together, despite the baseball game playing in the next room. My aunt and uncle from Chicago also came, and surprised my Grand-pa with the visit. All and all, I think everything went over pretty well. There was hardly a moment of stress. I think that may be because the get-together was pretty low-key Meaning, a lot of the family members who do cause problems, weren't told to come. Yeah, seems a little fucked up. But in a bar setting with alcohol being given out for free that one day... I'm sure an argument, maybe even a fist fight would have ensued.

The day before the party, my girlfriend and I went out to the City-Center of Dearborn Heights. They had a lot going on that day, A band playing at city hall, lots of people crowding the cafe's and restaurants. It was nice to finally get out and walk around. It was pretty hot, but I didn't mind too much. That day, we went to 'Dearborn Music Store' where they sell a huuuge variety of music; without having to go out to Sterling for FYE. She ended buying about 4-5 country CD's, and some 1950's memorabilia. I browsed the store for music I liked; ofcourse they had none of my favorites. Buuut, Next week we may go back so that I can order the "Daisy Chainsaw" DVD!! homg so excited!! Also, I may see if I can get that TOOL Vinyl record that includes artwork and all that goodness. I was planning on getting it for my Brother.. Unfortunately he's been getting on my nerves lately. NOT directly at me, but he has been making too much of a mess for me to keep up with, let alone the fact that him and his friends come over solely for the purpose of eating all out food. *sigh* Anyways, after that, We went to the smoke shop. Of which was occupied by a bunch of burly fat middle-aged men. XD It was pretty cool that they didn't at all hassle us for going in there, browsing the various tobacco. We must've looked pretty naive. But we were greeted well. We perused the flavored cigars. I've never seen so many shelves for cigars/cigarillos in such a tiny room. I nearly went crazy, wanting to get them all. Huge, fat, hand-rolled, Nicaraguan cigars, Cubans (ofcourse), etc etc etc. I got two big cigars, and two boxes of Earth-Nectar Cigarillos. One carton is called Moontrance (flavor: exotic fruit + bourban vanilla) and the other is called Flavours (flavor: Chianti, hazelnut + cocoa). Both are equally delicious.

Does it seem odd that I like to smoke 'old-man' cigars to anyone?

Anyways.

After that, we settled at Starbucks for a break and drank a couple of IZZEs. It was nice to get out of the heat for a little. Because I was dying, looking like a hot mess XD. After that, we went to Gamestop and bought two new games and a carrying case for my g/f's DS. We got New York Fashion for her.. XD And Spyro for me! (Which I have been playing like a mad-man all week). We left for home around 8 o' clock. Enough for some much needed rest and relaxation. Ordering some Hungry Howie's pizza, smoking a cigar, feeling like a happy mother fucker. Ahhh...


This weekend was something me and Jessica both needed. A means to get out. The house has just been.. A fucking wreck lately. And I think the fact that I have to clean everyday, and my G/F has to work her crummy job, as been bringing a lot of tension into our relation ship as of late. Its been pretty hard for us to communicate.

Considering every time we try, we just end up picking on each other either by nagging, or un-needed comments. We're both pretty mentally tired I guess. My mom has been pretty generous with us. Allowing us to stay without having to pay up the ass with bills and food.... ]]></sub> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/26621820/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/26621820/ Sun, 16 Aug 2009 03:39:09 PDT

Bitch.


Don't call someone a bitch.

It's offensive.





I can understand if it's being used in a means to describe someone or something. Or even if it's said bluntly.

But to call a person a ^bitch, purely to _degrade or _belittle them; suggest them to be something they're not, Is just totally fucked up.


Bitch.



]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/26437012/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/26437012/ Fri, 07 Aug 2009 03:50:29 PDT Hello! Its me again. The one you 'watched' about a year ago, only to realize that you don't know who I am, or recall ever watching me in the first place.

Anywho.

Lets give you a little insight, in hopes that you have made the right choice in adding me to your friends/watch list.


Basic Information


_{Name: Andrea, or Gracie.
Age: 20 years old.
Birth: April 20th, 1989
Sex: Female
Occupation: Space filler, paper weight.}


Technical Shit


<sub>Nick-names: Punky, punk, Drea, punk-ass, Gracie, MsGrace, Bug, Cuddlez (XD)

Relationship: I have a g/f.. one year! Wooo!!

Orientation: Lesbian.

favorite color(s): black, blue, toxic green, gray.

Bands: QueenAdreena, Daisy Chainsaw, Ruby Throat, The Dogbones, Scarling, JackoffJill, Tool, Radio Dept, Bibio, J-dilla, Madlib, Talib Kwali, South Park Mexican, Lighter shade of Brown, Baby bash, Newyork Underground, The Horrorist, Devil wears Prada, Kalma, Knife-through-head, Dragonland, Dragonlord, Cradle of Filth, Tristinia, Ensiferum, Razed in Black, Zeromancer, Orgy, Deadsy, Duran Duran, April March, A girl named Ed, Adam and the Ants, Apocalyptical, Celtic Frost, Flotsam and Jetsam, Deftones, Chemical brothers, Children of Bodom, Sabaton, Exodus, Sadas, The Breeders, Smashing Pumpkins, The Seeds, Sex Pistols, ... ehh too tired to name any more. (only a fraction of what I actually listen to 8D)

Idol(s): Katie-Jane Garside, Crispin Gray, Irving Norman,

Likes: Music, writing, poems, rps, computers, customizing, etc.

Dislikes: Cleaning, waking up early, bad music, dumb people, not having money, sequels to good movies, assholes, penny-pinching, people who hate there job, being on welfare, cheap pencils and pens, not having paper, no interwebs, when firefox crashes, posers, wanna-bes, and young people. XD

Movies: Too many to type.

Drink: Screw driver (OJ mixed with Vodka), Coco-cola, rockstar, monster, Blue-Ox, Redbull, Lemonade Amp, Arizona Ice-tea, Dr. pepper, Squirt, Faygo, Hochata,

Food: Anything XD

Smoke: Yes. Djarums' are the best.

Personality: I'm an asshole.

Qualities: You tell me.

Faults: Too many.</sub>









WATCHERS+FAVES

So I have about 200+ faves/watches, and I'm really sorry I haven't been able to get to all of you and properly thank you.

Instead, I've decided to feature ya on my journal. Saves me the trouble of ruining my browser by visiting hundreds of pages. XD


THANK YOU!!!


_{These are all the people that have faved my work, or watched me:}







http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/26247585/ Wed, 29 Jul 2009 04:35:44 PDT IMPORTANT!


All commissions will be closed, except for those I actually owe pictures to.


I haven't been given a lot of inspiration lately, and I'm letting my emotions get to me.

So unfortunately, I'm closing all commissions until further notice. (or atleast until I can be proud/satisfied with my work to deem them worthy as commissions.)

I know who I owe pictures to, so Don't go bugging me seriously.


Its not like I'm getting paid for it, so you all can wait as long as I need you to!




Love,
Fuzzyshitballtits
-Drea

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/26143370/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/26143370/ Fri, 24 Jul 2009 03:45:28 PDT Note: A mixture of Ketty-corn popcorn and Raviolis will lead to anal complications.



Anywho. It's 6:36am in the morning. And I've pretty much slept all day. I don't know what it is about the weather lately, but this sudden change of humid-hot, humid-cold is really effing up my moods/sleeping habits.


Not only that... we have no money for the rest of the month. And food is practically lessening each day. FAHK. I won't be able to pay off my phone bill... everything is pretty much going into the house.

*SIGH* I really need a job. Each day I'm less and less motivated to bother getting one... I won't even go out anymore. I've only seen the sun from my window, which is at my right. XD

Thank god for my weights! Otherwise I'd just be a blob of shit.

Cleaning helps too.. I can somewhat be more active when there is something to clean in the house.

Still, the major problem at hand is money. I don't even know how long my internet will stay on. FUCK! It's going to ruin my credit for sure...

I can't even go to school this year. Everyone I know from california has already graduated with the same program I had gone to. Ever since coming to Michigan, everything has just gotten more tough. The only thing keeping me sane are the few friends I have left and my G/F.

Yeah, we seem to be fighting a lot more... but I'm determined not to let the relationship go to shit. Even if there is a potential of breaking up, I still want to support everything she does.




FUUHHHK.





So how the fuck is everyone else?! I hope things are a little better on your end.


-Drea

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/25873560/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/25873560/ Sat, 11 Jul 2009 04:28:03 PDT


The Black Liver Saloon

Virginia City Welcome traveler/Patron to Virginia City, the heart of the gold rush! You find yourself amidst the evening sky, (hopefully you'll know that you have long passed from the world of the living.) there, a town bustlin' with the characters of the undead. Being the place 'the same, just as you had left it. To a wary On Looker, you'd think them alive, how they blatantly ignore their stature, their distinguished faces. What ever your intentions may be, your welcome is taken into open arms. But, be wary... Not all who dwell within Virginia City have a means to appease your stay. Some even, may take it upon themselves to show you 'the real' side of Virginia City... Just remember, there is little that can be done, to a person who is already dead.

<sub>Origin of Title: The Black Liver Saloon was renamed after the Death of it's 'Bar Dog' Black Liver Pete. An Ironic choice considering he had died of liver-disease, due to an addiction to various alcoholic beverages. After Pete's death his Grand Daughter Mary took over the business, only to meet an untimely death having suffered an aneurysm in her sleep. The Bar eventually lost business after the 'Gold-Rush' years, only to become one of the empty buildings in the outskirts of Virginia City Cal-Nevada.


(history + chat privclasses)
The Black Livers: This name is given to the long time patrons of the Saloon who had died tragically only to continue their stead. Every soul who seeks the Saloon will be appally named a "Black Liver" considering most of their limbo is spent re-enacting their routine by night, only to rest peacefully in "The Boot Yard" by day. (TheBlack_Livers privclass is only given to Amins)

Boot Yard: The Boot Yard is a western term that describes the city cemetery. Most of the city's original dwellers are buried within the city limits. (Boot_Yard privclass is only given to banned members.)

A'Tweeners: The a'tweeners are commonly known as the 'undecided'. Many of the city inhabitants are souls that have not rightly passed on, probably due to an 'unfinished' business. But A'tweeners are people who don't commonly refer themselves to the typical western ways. (Atweeners privclass is only given to undecided members.)

On Lookers: On Lookers are people who have not lived and died in Virginia City. These people have passed on themselves, but are burdened with a tragedy, loss, or unable to pass on. Like the many patrons, they too share a bitter understanding of an untimely death, yet seek the comforts of this city as a means to give back to what was taken. (On_Lookers privclass is given to patrons who have yet to decide their privclass name.)

All Down But Nine: These sorts are known for their less than reputible character. They are the lowest form of living and or the dead. They scrounge, they squabble, and they have no means to pass on, but stay behind to bring discomfort and hatred towards the embodiment. (AllDownButNine privclass is given to people who are warned the first time, and given a time out for the second.)



The Entertainment: The entertainment will be based upon various soundtracks that meet the standard of Western Music. Announcements will be posted in the 'Topic' section of the chatroom that will headline entertainment, so every character may be inclined to acknowledge or interface with such posts.

Who Punched Joe?: This feature will headline special drinks that will be 'served' during gameplay. Every character has a choice whether or not to acknowledge these settings. The Drinks will include:
-Jack
-Whisky
-Moon-Shine
-Tequila
-Blood-Pikes (various alcohol mixed with animal blood)
-Snake Bite (various alcohol mixed with rattle snake poison)
-Scorpio (scorpion based poison cocktail)
-Margarita
-Beer
-Apple Cider Ale
-Adam's Ale - Water
-Goodnight (alcohol mixed with bull piss: aphrodisiac)
-Tough Mornin' (alcoholic pick me up)
-Straight Shooter (pure mexican tequila with fermented worm)
-Bloody Marry (vegitble mush with blood and alcohol)
-Rum
(will add more later)</sub>



The Characters: Any character is selected based upon reasonable information and acceptable use of the situation.
-Name
-Gender
-Undead:
-Age
-Death
-Storyline
-Reason for being
-Accessories
-Clothes
-Transportation (steam buggy, carri... ]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/25858997/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/25858997/ Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:46:48 PDT


I know I said I was going to see you soon. I hope I didn't let you down.

I'd cry for you, but you never really liked when kids cried. And I mean that with the highest respects.

Throughout my life, Tia Magge, you have taught me so much, in such little time we've spent with each other. Your the reason why I am strong with the kids, and sometimes too determined.

I miss every aspect of you. And I'd dare not use slander, 'les you cross my face with your backhand. But even so... I learned a valuable lesson. This elder above me, will teach me now, so that I better understand in life, later, why you did it.

I can always laugh, with the stories you'd tell of Tio Ricky, Tio Gun, Tio Able, and Tio David. And the women have certainly lived up to your expectations, Tia Chach, Tia Lisa, Tia Georgia.

I hope I can live up to your standard aswell.

I know I said I come to see you. And I'm really sorry I couldn't go. I rather have a more vivid memory of you laughing, with the smell of a fresh cigarette lit, and your favorite brand of coke being brought to you.

I'll miss the way you called me 'Mija' or when you called me "Graci". And scolded me for my mouthing off 8D

I'll try to be more helpful now that you're gone. Just know that you'll be loved and missed, and NO ONE can ever hold up a tighter fist.


Love always,
Graciela.

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/25730289/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/25730289/ Wed, 22 Jul 2009 03:45:18 PDT What the fork?


What is it with the young people lately!?

So glad I'm finally 20. Everything is starting to make sense now. Being young was so effing confusing. Having to deal with those hormonal issues... I finally understand why adults get so fed up with whiny little children.

(and I don't mean babies. They whine for reason.)

Kids these days.. just seem more depressed, and more so lazy.

I can't easily say, "Just go do something." if clearly I don't already have that mindset.


I got punked within two days by these bratty little minors! How the fuuuu. Geez, talk about taking everything so seriously.

Cheer up little emo-kid. The world is only as bad as you make it.


(and I don't mean to offend clinically depressed teens... You have your legitimate reasons as to why you are upset.)

I mean this for those arrogant pieces of shit, that walk around all smar-assed. Fahk Q!

Sursly, no one gives a crap about you. Spend a little less time being an asshole, and more time working on your inner-self.

As cheesy as that sounds.. It may just work for ya.

Grah. I love morning rants. It seems the longer I stay up, the more vulnerable I am to being fucked with by some pubescent turd.


I really need sleep.

Sleeping in till 7pm today was probably not all that good. And my sudden change to seek more acquaintances... well that just flat out flopped. I think I should just still to rooms I know, and the wonderful people that idle within them!


NO LONGER WILL I NEGLECT YOU FRIENDS.


(and if you read this journal, you know who you are. And if you decide to delete it... well... fahk q!)


-Andrea aka Scuddleboo





----------------------------------------------------------------------






















Hm..

I'm starting to get annoyed by a few people lately.

I try to be very patient, and less opinionated. I hate causing to many bridges to burn between relationships, but a lot of the time, I find my self dragging a long to other peoples crap.

Its frustrated to learn, or know for a very long time, that I'm just a 'back-burner' friend. Meaning I'm the one they come to when they're bored, or find me as a last resort.

I'm really hurt and annoyed by it. These people I call my friends, hardly know anything about me, (nor do they make an attempt to ask) yet I have to sit there and listen to them spill their life story.

I like communicating, and I enjoy listening. But when I need them for my story to be heard, they will merely shrug their shoulder, or avert the subject to a topic that is more suited to their interests.

Now I ask myself, Should I just stop talking to them all together, and hope they notice I'm not gonna be there?

Or should I let them know, and prepare for another bridge to get burned?


-----------------------------------

New chatroom! #TheBlackLiverSaloon

Based on a Ghost-town.

All races (demons, ghosts, ghouls, vampires, incubus/succubi, zombies, undead, corpses, apparitions, humans, hounds, beasts.) omitted!

Skillful RPers wanted!


------------------------------









Pre-pre-pre

<sub>I hate hearing people argue. Don't you? Especially when men yell. Theres just something about a man yelling that makes my spine tingle.

Unfortunately I live next to a family whose father looooves letting everyone know he's in control. Dominant. It begins around 7:30am until sun down. I have no idea what he's bitching about... They speak Arabic.


Anyways. They're not the only family that has been having some issues.


You ever feel like, especially since you're older... You get dramatically distance from your family? Hmm.

As of late, I have been almost transparent to the family. I get a few comments here and there. Relating mostly to cleaning. I guess we don't really have much else to talk about. Since I am the only one who doesn't work other than my brother. (though technically he gets out way more than I do... so I guess thats enough to classify him as active.)

... ]]></sub> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/25671139/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/25671139/ Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:54:27 PDT

Now... two weeks later, I am back to feeling worthless.

How could this have happen?

Then I realized, that I have made little to no impact what-so-ever on anything.

I wonder how long I can pretend that there is something out there worth living for.

Because I don't know how much longer I can hold out for it.

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/25635031/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/25635031/ Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:35:12 PDT

So a lot of shit has happened to me the past few weeks that have vigorously tested my integrity, strength, and mental state-of-mind.


Turns out I have major anxiety, and the only cure is a medicine that is prone to causing heart attacks. Wowwowowowowowow!

Anyways. I don't feel like re-analyzing, re-stating, and re-thinking all my dramas.

I feel extremely disconnected from all the people I once cared about. And I really do think its time for me to get out.


How-ever, I will continue to bare my situation with a my chin held high, and my chest taking most of the bullets head on.

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24990513/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24990513/ Thu, 28 May 2009 02:11:02 PDT
I found myself in a strange boxed room. All the corners were dim lit, like someone had a t.v. or a lamp on far into it's background.

On one side of the room, I found myself staring down into a well. This well had vines coming out, in, and all around it. My brother stood at the bottom, which, when I looked into it, wasn't far down. At the bottom, the ground came up like an incline.

We must've talked something interesting, because I was all smiles when he spoke. He handed me a sword. The hilt was thick, and I couldn't get my hand all the way around it. It was also very heavy.

For some reason, I gave him this confused look, as if saying with my expression "What the hell do you want me to do with this?"

Suddenly he came out of the well, and also had a sword in his hand. And pointed outwards with it. The sword I had, was flimsy, and thin. Every time I held it up, it would flop over like a piece of sheet metal.

I can't even begin to think what all of it could've meant.

Then we found ourselves at this hip new mall, that had a cross between a vintage, evangeline, rocker-whisky, and underground look.

We seemed to be having a lot of fun. All my friends were there, and lots of people I didn't know.

It wasn't until a friend of mine approached me, and said "Did I just see a ghost or something?" That I had realized, and blurted without thinking, "Oh...my brother? Yeah... he's a ghost." And I said it with a weird, smile.

My brother came back over, and greeted my friend with a hug. I saw my brother lean in, and almost vanish into her body. I had seen that it was true. My brother was a ghost. He was dead. And this place, was a commune for the people of the dead, and the living.

I thought nothing of it, as I grabbed onto his hand, seeing a stage before us as we entered a different room. It was dark all around, and we managed to get all the way to the front. My favorite band was playing. I was ecstatic. He seemed happy too, he knew for some reason how much I liked QueenAdreena.

And here they were, preforming all my favorite songs. Wolverine, Silent Undoing, And a new song I've never heard before.

He encouraged me on stage. And I danced with the singer. I watched her preform the words. I went absolutely crazy.

And it ended, when I laid onto the mattress before her, and all of them. That I had realized.. I was dead too.






Today I found out from my mom, that a gun was pulled to my brother's face, point blank.

He said... "I'm gonna take you. We're gonna drive you out somewhere. Somewhere no body can find you. Then I'm gonna shoot you... And I'm gonna dump your body."


Would the dream have been the last moment I'd share with my brother?

We don't talk anymore... me and my brother. He doesn't say a word to me anymore. I hardly ever see him smile. and I wonder if he knows how sad I am.


In the dream... we were happy. In the dream, we didn't hate each other.


But now.. I may lose him... because every day I find, that someone wants to kill him.

I dream a little. When I dream, my brother always comes to me somehow. Either in alarm, or as a means to be happy. But he's always dead. He's past on.



And I know... that if I lose him, I'll be dead too.



I appreciate all the concerns from everybody. I know I must've scared alot of you. And I apologize.

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24985564/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24985564/ Wed, 27 May 2009 18:36:43 PDT
Get this.

You are a dirty, piece of shit.

I found you. I know who you are. I know your family, your cousins, your sisters, your brothers, your mom and dad. I know you got the whole block.

I know your car, I know your face. I even know your last name, and maiden name.

So if you think you can kill one of my own... you are fucked up.

I'm comin' after you. And I'm gonna blow your shit up.


Come fuck with me. Do it. I got people, I got shit. So if you think you're man enough to come to my house, and pull a gun... Bitch you are gonna get stuck.

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24906626/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24906626/ Sat, 23 May 2009 11:52:28 PDT
Its an absolutely boring, uneventful day. And I'd like to converse with YOU, the watchers and friends.

So if that is possible, direct me to your chatroom, or comment/note me your screen name.

I only have WindowsLive/MSN at the moment ;\


Also... For anyone that has a good RP-Room, tell me about it. I'd love to swing on in.


p.s. Don't do that into your sock!

yours truly,

MzGrace aka Drea

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24886617/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24886617/ Fri, 22 May 2009 08:35:41 PDT figured I should at least update this journal, considering I have internet now, along with an un-necessary update on my life and other tedious happenings.

Unpredluded

As of now... I'm not working, and bummed about school. I have set myself back at least a whole 'nother year, and possibly one more. I'll be 21 by the time I graduate... Seriously, I'll be able to buy booze for all my underage friends. I'm kidding... I couldn't do that. BUT I'm not ready to give up. I seriously, have worked very hard towards my diploma, and I wont settle for less.

Also... I'm in dire need of a job. I'm hoping to find one soon.. Because this bit is getting old.

Interlude

I've been listening a lot to my music lately. Which really isn't anything new...seeing as it has become quite a routine during my life. But only one artist, throughout every captivating band I've come across, has truly kept me going. As many of you know, or can see... I've been on this QueenAdreena/Daisy Chainsaw streak. And I apologize if it has gotten on anyone's nerves. I guess, I have found something, truly aspiring, and has shaped into my aging. I find that every song can somehow reflect my life, in a way, that if I explained it verbally, I'd sound completely mad. I suppose none of you would understand, without first witnessing it yourself.

I wish I could express this phenomenon more wisely and relateable. SO that everyone could understand what I mean. But I feel sometimes I can confuse even myself.

Some kind of fool...
A paradox, or even an ironic ingesture.

What I can sum up, of everything I haven't already covered... Is that I am not as thrilling or completely and utterly happy, as I'd want anyone to think. And I don't believe I can satisfy myself, often, to the point where everything is sustainable, or attainable. Mad... I am mad.

To say the least, or.. even... the most; I can take what I have, and make something of it, but for-truly I am just ill-puted beyond no doubt and comparison. A fragile shell of a being, twisted into compulsion and unrealization of what true potential it holds, rather than it's indistructive capabilities... the undying venture of a scornful shrew placed beneath of the foot of a man standing atop a machine.

If you've ever been able to see the desert, even in-mind.

Ever wondered about trees, how, if turned upside down, they would replicated even their own atop them? A quaint metaphor of life and death.

I have much too much time... too much time to think, and sit, and other useless things that eat away at my aging progress.

Hum-dee dum..

A drift inbetween sonic-sounds would be much more soothing than the monotone of white noise. A peek into the voices, of which some of us may never hear. Those are the whispers of the natural world. Something we have long forgotten and ignored. Can you still hear it? A whimper, a cry?

Absolutely maddening.

Does any of this even make sense? Seriously... I'd like to know. Leave a comment if I hadn't mind-fucked you.

EDIT

My vocabulary is limited due to a fatigue of sorts in the pronunciations echoing in my head. Ever feel like a good shower brings out the worst of those voices? I find myself re-stating some sort of prose, or speech, as if I am talking to all of you directly.

But more so I am incoherent, muttering some sort of jibber-jabber only the deaf, mute, and dumb could understand.

Considering all of us, at one point, more so the two years, staged of our lives, spoke nothing but jibberish, so why would I be so 'fraid to think that all of you wouldn't get me right of the nose?

My point begins at the relative expression of sound. Something we all are most common with. And it is the sound, that beckons the ear's to listen, nor to captivate something of a natured will. Infiltration of the mind, rooting unknown characters and vices. A grip that would shrivel the growing causing a whirl of screams.

Not at all what I had in mind for this edit... I just feel as though I supposed to be more clearer, and I haven't gotten to that point at all.

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24615986/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24615986/ Wed, 06 May 2009 10:21:57 PDT

Okay so we dont have interwebz. I'm at my dads house using his laptop while i help him and my grandparents out with yard work.


Anyways... I'm not dead. But I'm not sure when I'll be able to get back on.

My dads all mad i dont have internet hes offered to pay for out overdue internet bill... also he might by me some gigs of memory! woo.

So...um

I love you all a lot... and I misses joooo!!!


-MzGrace aka Drea

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24337664/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24337664/ Mon, 20 Apr 2009 05:06:53 PDT I am officially Twenty Years old today...


Not that it matters much.

I'm sure I won't feel the difference yet.

Anyways.

Hows everyone else doing?

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24139517/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/24139517/ Thu, 09 Apr 2009 00:37:03 PDT i burn my home
kiss your passport
hotel aftershow
so now i'm really in a fucking mess
i got one suitcase but no address
nothing, nowhere, no one
nothing, nowhere, no one
no one...
gravity has changed her fucking mind
i'm lost hotel in space and time
so book me in for your last show
its inconsequential, nowhere to go
nothing, nowhere, no one, oh..
nothing, nowhere, no one
no one..."
-KatieJane Garisde
Song: Hotel Aftershow (part 1)
album: Ride a cock horse

--------------------------------------------------------------------


So My b-day is less than 10 days away. And it's been decided that we're all going to the winsor casino in Canada.

Pro: Get some money; Get shit-faced. FUCK YEAH!
Cons: Loose some money; Throw up on Jessi's black wedged heels.

But seriously it sounds pretty fun. Hopefully I don't womp out 300$ like last time when I turned 18. Good times... I think.
Wait no... fuck that bitch! *neener neener*

Anyways...


HEY ROLEPLAYERS!

I need peeps for my new chatroom.
Any of you think you're good enough to last?
Well... then come onnn in #disownedbythem
>>>[link]
>>> Here is where you post your Character references. All the rules are summarized in the journals.

Jooooin... or die.


Love,
Andreafuckboogigglesnortgarble.

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/23714923/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/23714923/ Sun, 15 Mar 2009 17:07:33 PDT News!


Where to begin?

I suppose I'll begin from the start of Mar 11th till today.

As you all know, my sister was released the day after her surgery, and came back home tired and weak. But as the days went on shes been, pretty much, her old self. Shes able and active, and has gotten more sleep. Aside from the bundle of medications, gauze, and bandages she'll have to be using, shes been pretty fair about it.
She'll be returning to school next week, and I know all of her teachers and friends will be excited to have her back.

Thursday my male cat, Mittens (aka Mr. Man, Cookachoo, Footsie, etc ridiculous names.) had his surgery to get his *ahem* testees removed XD. (The word testees is funny, not the situation) Anyway I was pretty sad about it.. Afraid that it would hurt him. But from what my mom said, taking him to the vet, he was well behaved, and naive. The doctor described him as a relaxed curious cat, that listens, and responds. 5 hours later that day, he came home, curled in his carrying cage. At first he wasn't very active, of course, mostly due to his shots. He spent 2 days in my room, taking few visits to his food and litterbox, I did most of the transportation XD. After that, hes been fine. Not as wild or active as before, but more reserved. I'm not all that worried. He goes back to see the doctor in April, for his check-ups. Atleast he's registered now .

As for my other cats... both female, and very much so in heat >:0, they'll be fixed late in April. For now we'll have to separate them ugh.


In other news, my g/f Jessi, got a job at the Detroit Symphony Orchestra. She does telemarketing, but doesn't pester non-subscribers. She makes a good sum, 11$ an hour, and is exposed to a lot of great people. Also, she gets free tickets to all the shows!

Speaking of shows, let me give you a summary of what we saw last night:

Classical Series:
Beethoven & Debussy
Sir Andre Davis, conductor
Jeremy Denk, piano

Pieces:

Sir Edward Elgar
(1857-1934)
Serenade for Strings in E Minor
Allegro piacevole
Larghetto
Alleghretto

Ludwig Van Beethoven
Piano Concerto No.1 in C major
(1770-1827)
Allegro con brio
Largo
Rondo: Allegro
Jeremy Denk, Piano

Claude Debussy
(18-1918)
Prelude a l'Apres-midi d'un faune
[Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun]

Igor Stravinsky
(1882-1971)
Symphony in Three Movements
Allegro
Andante-Interlude
Con moto

Profiles:

Sir Edward Elgar; Serenade for Strings in E minor

"Edward Elgar wrote his Serenade for strings shortly before he achieved recognition throughout England as one of his countries great composers. Although he lacked a thorough formal music education he was driven to establish himself as a composer, and made a living playing the organ, teaching and writing music at every opportunity in smaller cities outside London. For a time, he even took a position as 'composer in the ordinary' for the staff at an insane asylum in Worcester. Unable to find a publisher for his Serenade, he rehearsed it with a Worcester Ladies' Orchestra Class that he taught just so he could hear it." - Article as written by: Program Notes by David Heetderks, Ph.D candidate in music theory at the University of Michigan School of Music, Theatre & Dance. Performance/Vol.XVII/Issue V 2009

Ludwig Van Beethoven; Piano Certo Np.1 in C major

"An ascending octave and three hammer of a repeated note form the proud, bouyant gesture that opens Beethoven's C major concerto. This motive, which is climatic moments is transformed into three ringing blows, recurs at several points and helps unify long and ambitious movement: 'Courage! In spite of all bodily weaknesses, my spirit shall rule,' Beethoven wrote in his journal around this time. His early years in Vienna witnessed a concentrated effort to make his mark on the musical life of the city. Beethoven wrote in almost every musical g... ]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/23644501/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/23644501/ Wed, 11 Mar 2009 14:28:32 PDT I just want to add real quick, that I apologies if I've been posting too many journals and spamming people's inboxes.


JOY! Is the only word I can think of at the moment that could describe the situation that took place yesterday. My little sister is back home, tired, and bandaged at the moment. But even in her frail state, she takes to her Nintendo DS and frantically strategies her next game-related mission.

I managed to talk to her over the phone last night, her voice sounding tired and hoarse. Even so, she made a point to remind me that I needed to upload some disney music for her 4GB sansa mp3 player XD.

I just want to thank all of you who are close to my heart, to have prayed and showed the utmost consideration for my sister. She is doing well! And will be back to her old self in no time!

I will be updating daily now... seeing as how for the moment, it is the only way I can interact with my regular watches, commenter, and friends.

So keep me in mind if anything is needed.

Love,
MzGrace

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/23628438/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/23628438/ Tue, 10 Mar 2009 15:08:03 PDT Marisol is in the hospital today, going through with her constructive surgery. Its been nearly 6years since her last operation, and she truly is being quite the little trooper.

I know shes been very excited to finally see all her doctors, everyone has welcomed her warmly. I hope they are as careful and attentive as they seem to be.

She is a courageous little girl, who has made me very proud. She is handling all this very maturely, and hasn't let her Chiari slow her down one bit, though it causes her a great deal of pain. I hope that my younger siblings can see her as an example of ambition and courage, because she hasn't fussed, or taken for granted the opportunity she has so desperately wanted. I know this procedure will not be in vein.

I only ask that we all pray for her recovery and happiness.


If only she knew... that there was never really anything wrong with her.


-Friend, Acaquaintence, Wifey, and Sister
Andrea

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/23614138/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/23614138/ Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:20:35 PDT
It seems that myself, as well as others, like to think of me as a contradicting, hypocritical know-it-all. I always seem to never know whats best for me, regarding my potential, education... life in general. Yet others believe that they know just the thing.

So... In result, I'll only be using my DeviantArt for submitting art. Any requests are now null, and commissions that I have been working on, will now be terminated. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience. But I guess its time for me to choose between now, and my future.

And judging by how OTHER people feel... My art... is nothing more than something I consider 'casual and have been taking for granted'.

Supposedly.

Just another reminder of how upsetting and meaningless my life is. I guess I never really ever satisfy anyone... or ever make them happy.

I am deeply sorry for those of you I've pushed over or hurt. I didn't mean to make anyone upset with me, or even hate me for the way I am. When it all comes down to it... I guess I am human, flesh, blood, and all.



Love always,

Andrea

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/23516305/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/23516305/ Tue, 03 Mar 2009 22:00:31 PST NEWS

Bad News...

I don't know what it is lately...but I'm starting to feel this nagging in the back of my mind that says: I told you so!

When I lived in California... My school staff constantly reminded me of how bad it would be to go back, or even visit my family. I thought this to be ridiculous! They didn't know my family, nor did they ever meet them... at any point in time... not even in their past life!

But now I realize what it all meant. When I came back [from California] hardly anyone asked me how it was, what I did, who I met, etc. The entire car ride, I explained the trip back. My mother, grandma, and brother... gave little to no reaction. But right then, I thought nothing of it.

Months go by, with a series of events. Typical things, that blew up into situations that I couldn't even imagine would come into view.

Its upsetting... To know that nothing REALLY has changed. Besides the aging.

Once again, I am meant with a foe, that can nor be defeated or avoided... CHANGE. Sometimes change is necessary, it helps us understand, cope, learn, refresh, renew, start-over... But for some of us, it is a harsh reminder that even though people change, their situations balance and stay the same.

Then there are those you see, who do change, but for the absolute worst.

Change is like the harsh truth, that you would prefer a sweet lie.

My brother... Once a gentle boy

Is now an angry young teen. Before you assume its teen-angst, I can tell you right now it isn't.

I see my reflection in my brothers actions. The way I used to close myself off, my angry outbursts, my friends being more important than my family, and enjoying the luxuries of having no restrictions and boundaries.

I miss my brother.. I miss his generosity, his playfulness, his charm and smiles. When I manage to take a glimpse into his eyes, to see past that tortured soul, I see the ambition to get away, but the hardening shell preventing him to.

I want to be the hand that guides him through, but my selfish pride would prefer to watch him struggle.

The distance between us... pushes us farther away. Because neither of us want to admit our faults.

My heart sinks with a heavy burden, when ever hes around. Even if he manages to smile... I know its just for the appearance. I could only wonder, what hes thinking.. how he feels. I question if he ever thinks back on the days we were inseparable. The world would form to our whim, and imagination. But why now... Is it so different?

Can it be more than change?

The path now, has split in several directions between us. Which ever we take... it'll be up to us to make our families proud. The further apart our path, the more the odds are of actually making up.

If only this was the main reason for my stresses and pains.

I see now, who my family really is. The bottom of the soles of man, barely surviving. Leeching off what they can in order to make it through the week. My mom, who I have learned so much from.. Is the harsh reality of a mistake, you continue to ignore.

My mother truly is a spectacle. Able to raise several children on her own, barely make enough working, going to school, and still doing the dishes when she gets home. Oh but the potential is infinite. She had the world in her palm...once.. but gave it to a man, undeserving of her love and loyalty.

Now he sucks the life out of her, youth, love, and all. He really is a pathetic person... But again, another mistake that is too late to be undone. The only good of their union was five wonderful kids. But even they have to deal with the banter of both parents.

Its hard to think of the past, knowing that my family used to be more lively and tightly knit. But as years went by, everyone has grown tired with the wears and tears of dysfunction and deception. I urn for a day we will all reunite, and become stronger.

[ Thinks quietly ]

The back of my head is throbbing. Probably from thinking back on so much.


As of right now... I feel drought. The years of crying mentally, have finally ran me dry. I can't stand it.


I feel like I am constantly being judged, corrected, misunderstood, underestimated, and most of all, neglected.

I don't think anyone could truly understand, the void that grows bigger, and bigger, slowly wanting to consume everything it can to fill what ever is missing.



[ Good News? ]

I have been offered several opportunities to once again join the work force. It will be exciting to lead the life of an 'every-man'. Hopefully I attain a job more suitable to my life-style and interests down the line. But it won't be too much of a pain to settle for a... ]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/22952520/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/22952520/ Sun, 01 Feb 2009 20:21:36 PST RULES
1. Post these rules.
2. Each tagged person must post 8 things about their self on their journal.
3. At the end, you have to choose and tag 8 people and post their icons on the same journal.
4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
5. No tag-backs



1) I wear 3 layers of clothing under my pants... *panties,boxers,shorts,then pajama pants :s*


2) My cat Mitten's is fat, I think thats why we get along so well XD,

3) I clean the parts of the toilet, people wouldn't dare to touch... Because I'm just hardcore like daat.


4) My step-dad calls me Sargent/Major Scourge, because when I rile everyone up to clean up the house, I usually have them execute their chores in Military style.


5) I absolutely, die hard loveee, the fucking bread rolls from Red Lobster! Gahd, why are they so fucking gooood.


6) My brother Andrew was born on October, Friday the 13th, at 11:59pm, on a full moon. My parents WERE going to name him Jason...but, that would just be too...odd.


7) Usually when I'm awake, and I can't fall asleep, I'll hook up my speakers and mp3 to play all of QueenAdreenas/Daisy Chainsaws/Rubythroat's songs. I won't go to sleep until I hear the very last song, "Salto Angel" :]


8) I love music. Its not a thrill, I just enjoy the way it makes me feel when ever I play it. I can feel the emotion bursting from my soul when ever I listen to it. I absolutely go fucking crazy if I go ONE day without my headphones...


why is there no 9?! D: cause seven "eight" nine!!

tagging....

, , , , , , ,

YES YOU HAVE TO DO THIS..NO IF ANDS OR BUTTS BETCHES. Have a nice day

_________________________________________________
OMG SPECIAL SHOUT/THANKS TO:

woo! for this awesome-tacious picture she did for me; [link] This, my dear friends, is Illiad's smokin' hawt sistahh (she doesn't have a name yet XD !!)

Thanks for the collab deary, I'm sure if I have anymore Ideas, perhaps we could cook something else up.

_________________________________________________


NEWS!!

So, Alas...we meet again. You and I, I and You.

How quaint, you decided to wear pants this time.

Nice, very nice.



Okay peoples, news, ....um, news. What would be considered news?

*thinks* I don't think any of you would like to here the progression of my ever aging life...

*sigh*<... ]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/22748457/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/22748457/ Thu, 22 Jan 2009 21:54:18 PST

Let me just start off by saying, that I am a huge Role-playing freak! No, I don't role play to manga, hentai, or yoai. I'm not into the whole japanese series things. I role-play only original things, and sometimes random-moderness. its fun, and I can't help it! XD

But recently, people have been busy with their own projects, and I kind of want to expand my own horizon.

What I mean is, I am looking for experienced role-players, perferably young-adults, not tweens, and someone who can post more than a sentence, detailed, suspenseful, creative, emotional. yadda yadda.

If you're those type of people, let me know what chats are available, I'd love top become a new member of someone's experienced rp.

Now, the reason this whole journal started, er partly the reason, was because I had stumbled upon some seemingly reasonable chats. They seemed pretty interesting enough.

Okay, I can understand that every chat designed, has its own group, followers, veterans, etc. But when a new person is present, wouldn't it just be swell, and appropriate to greet them, so that they can understand, become part of, or even appreciate the chat and it's occupants.

I mean shit. I have never been to a place, so rude, and shady.

#FurryClub
#FreeFurryCity

^^^^^ I joined, not because I'm into anthro specifically, but reading the disclaimer, it just seemed like a fun, open place to be.

I wasn't even greeted, and even when I tried to talk to people, I was blown off instantly.

I don't know what kind of place these people are running, But from my experience, (varying to people who actually go there) I'd say it wasn't all that great.

So again, looking for skilled role-players, just so that I can expand myself, and meet new people.

_________________________________________________

Anyways!

Boy am I peeved today. It was just one of those, I'm a grumpy-grandpa, days. Seriously, all last I couldn't sleep, and what made it worse, when I finally did fall asleep, I had to wake up 2 hours later.

So much fucking drama, ugh can't stand it. This morning I found out that my step brother, has been talking shit about my side of the family. Ya know people who are like that, really don't have room to talk, because their lives are probably worse. When is that jerk ever gonna learn.

Aside from that, some very great teachers at our school got laid off today. So now, my computer class is at a stand-still. Its gonna be pretty hectic next week. But I'm just glad I was passing, and barely got enough hours to attend this semester. Fuck i really got to get my head in the fucking game!

Ugh
_________________________________________________

Okay, so I noticed that a lot of people I watched, set these little goals for themselves, to complete a drawing/painting etc. Each of these pictures has a specific theme, and You know what? I seriously want to give it a shot. I mean my gallery, has never been so full of inspiration. And I kinda want to take advantage of the fact that I've been having a creative streak lately. So here goes:

Themes:

1) Castlevellgova - Characters X
2) A Portrait of Myself
3) Scenery - using GIMP
4) A scene from every recent rp
5) A drawing depicting all 72 Demons of the Lesser Key of solomon.
6) Comic-strip (anything random)
7) A logo!


I'll think of more later.

Any ideas from anyone?

_________________________________________________

I've managed to complete some of everyone's requests. Heres what I have done so far:

- Arziel, Taric completed
:iconJerepasaraus: - David and Nadia complete
Thundercat Char, complete
Horsemen, incomplete
- Request pending
Blu and Dragon, Incomplete
Alice in Wonderland, Incomplete
~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/22601484/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/22601484/ Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:57:04 PST
Has been soo fucking kind to feature a butt-load of my art on her journal.

There is no proper way I can thank you Nessa for your kindness!

But... If I can, I'd gladly do a number of free commissions, aid you with any work of your own, and perhaps do a collab at some point ;__; !!!

Seriously, I owe ya betch! XD

______________________________________

Also, I'd like to thank my new watchers, and recent viewers who has either commented me, watched me, or has faved my art repeatedly within the past few days!

I do hope you guys enjoy my art enough to stick around for whats coming in the rest of '09!

------------------------------------

Lordy, 2008, I must admit, was not the best year it couldve been, production-wise. There has been a lot of drama with the ending of '07, to the ending of '08, but somehow I've managed to get up the courage to stick around a little bit longer.

As many of you may not have known, I wasn't in the best state of mind during 07-08. My art just wasn't flowing like I had wanted it to be. My relationship with my new family, was constantly on the rocks, and I was becoming more unreasonable and difficult.

I don't really know why I had become so depressed... to the point where I thought almost all the time of killing myself.

It was a rough year. But as I look back on all the hardships, I think i can say with reason, that I was just being a brat, and more so a bitch towards everyone that believed in me. And I want to apologize to :musicinmyveins:'s family for causing them so much distress. I hope that in the coming years I can say face to face, my apologies and deep regret for all the suffering I seemed to cause before I left.

For now, I have managed to mend most of the wounds here at home by becoming more socially, and family oriented. I try my hardest to keep the fort standing. Even if I sooo badly want to leave and make my own life. But sadly I haven't completed school yet, and I don't even have a job.


Despite all that, I have confidence, nae, a strong belief that I am going somewhere in life. And I'm a person of time and patience (which tends to lead to content and laziness, that too can have its negative affects), I truly believe that this is only another chapter in my life, and it wont end with me somewhere in the ground, or becoming a den mother.

I'm so happy that I can imagine myself in a better place. I just need to work really hard this year to make it happen.

I only hope, I have enough faith and will to move on, and forget about the scars of the past.

I know I deserve this... everyone deserves to be happy right?

____________________________________

Commissions in progress:



- Taric and Arziel - char drawing

- Dragon char

- aid in her OC chars for thunder cats and 4 Horsemen

- Drawing/ will get back to you on that with your response

:iconSheizka: Alice in Wonderland

____________________________________

That is all I believe? o_o

COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!

God-damnit people. give me something to do...shiiit


Seriously, theyre free, take what you can get!


Love,

Your crazed and probably drunk Artist: Andrea

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/22536108/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/22536108/ Mon, 12 Jan 2009 01:06:55 PST Just a little questionnaire thinger to get to know me better (for those of you who don't already XDDD)


1) When was the last time you brushed your teeth?
Yesterday morning mmm stankeehh

2) When was the last time you said "I love you," to someone other than your family?
My g/f just a few minutes ago. Never know when a meteor is gonna fall from the sky and kill ya..

3) Why am I doing this?!
Because I was tagged... and I just felt like it. I mean I could've just ignored it and continued on with my mindless business... geez you asshole.

4) Do you like animals?
I have like 3 cats.. who i love sooo very much :3

5) Do you play any instruments?
I used to play violin, and I'm just getting back into the guitar.

7) Do you like DA?
Its the blood to my face.

8) What hobbies do you have?
drawing, painting, reading, writing, playing guitar.

9) Who on dA do you know in real life?
Jessica.

10) Do you use the chatrooms?
Hell yeahs, theyre the breath to my blackened lungs. XD

11) Are you a girl or a boy?
I'm a big harry monsstahhh! j/k I'm all woman babehh

12) Would you consider yourself crazy?
Define crazy? Like.. weilding ax lady crazy? or Throwing cats at the neighbor-hood kids crazy?

13) When is your bedtime?
When ever I want it to be. Cuz I'm a big gurl naah, and if momma says anything bout that, I will slap her dead! J/k i loves mah moms

14) List 10 random things about yourself.

1- I bite my nails to the core of my skin when I have anxiety attacks
2- When I drink, I over endulge and drink until the ground moves.
3- I get really awkward around my dad when he tries to be all daddy-like with me.
4- I don't like being affectionate in my neighborhood because of the majority of muslims living in my area.
5- before I fall asleep, I listen to all the tracks by QueenAdreena and Ruby throat and think of how cool it would be if I was in a band
6- I often burden myself with the past driving me to become less social and more hostile towards people.
7- I hate not getting enough sleep, even though its my fault.
8- MY naps are usually 3-4 hours long.
9- My diet consists of anything and just about everything
10- I often invision myself taller, thinner, prettier, and good at everything.

I tag :iconblaunce: and, anyone else who wants to do this XDDD

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/22434960/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/22434960/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 14:12:43 PST Okay where do I begin..

Well hello again friends, and new friends of the new year!

Its been a while since I've updated. About to months or so.

I hope that all of your holidays went well!

As for myself, I started off the new year with my second semester of school (expecting to graduate this year, and pass my A+ certification for computer technician) and few ideas.

I've been brain storming a few stories that I'd like to be played out through a casual rp, or perhaps I'll keep it to myself and write it all out with in the passing months. >:]

I haven't been drawing much lately, but I have sketched a few references for my characters. I'm a little scared to publically write out the concepts and story ideas, due to critism and thievery.

We'll see I guess.

Ugh so the new year followed with a lot of drama. As usual.. But I am trying to overcome it. Lately I have become more in touch with faith, and have learned to accept that things happen for a reason, and all the pieces usually fall into place working out for the best. I'm learning to forgive and let live, the choices that everyone makes regardless of how I feel about it.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Blah so I should be getting our internet up and running again, resulting in daily visitations to devArt and talking amongst my most favored peers.

I'd like to thank everyone for their comments and best wishes.

Also to my new watchers, and the new people who have favorited my art.

I will get to all of you when I have more time to sweep through all the mail, deviations, submissions, comments, and faves.


Thanks to all!

___________________________________

As for commissions

I am temporarily dismissing all requests until I get the chance to review them, and carry out everyones demands.

It's going to be pretty busy once the computer starts going again.

I'd like to thank the few who actually enjoys my art, and would like to trade, or have a submission done.

Please consider how you would like your piece to be done

Pencil- Sketch
Rough Sketch in pencil
Ink
Pen
Manga pen, with no color or shading
Manga pen with shading
Manga pen with color
Digital sketch
Digital Lineart
Digital with color

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/21337359/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/21337359/ Wed, 05 Nov 2008 10:05:37 PST For those of you who don't know, I am a lesbian. And it has been known until I was 14 years old.

I wasn't exactly sure I was gay until I met someone very close to my heart. That person is now, no longer part of me. But I thank that person almost everyday for having realized and acknowledged my sexual orientation.

It was frightening at first discovering that part of me. The mere though of it growing up, made me feel sick, disgusting, and wrong. But why?

Today I no longer feel this way. From the age of 14 with 6 years passed, I have understood my sexuality further. I know what It's like to love someone for love. And it just so happens that I fell in love with a girl. At the time, it really had nothing to do with me being gay. It was the beginning of falling in love with someone who made me equally as happy.

But why do I label myself further as "Gay" or "Lesbian"?

Unfortunately... because I am not allowed to marry, in the country I live in, love, and would die for... I must remain as a "lesbian", so to speak, In order to speak out against this act of injustice to all of human rights.

Yes, like many I have been brainwashed to believe this country is a backward mechanism bent on combing out the non-believers, the trifler, the wrong, and the injustice. I was made to think that America was the worst country in all of the world. I was made to believe that we were power hungry, penny pinching, egotistical bible thumpers.

But I've come to realized our country tries its best. And it is not always perfect.

My anger has not ceased, and my hatred grows, prolonging the love I feel for it's citizens and land.

To deny someone of their rights as a human being, is by far, the most extreme terrorist act I have encountered.

I may not live to see the day, where we all come together in-hand, faith, happiness, and peace.

But I am subjected to live a life of hiding, and tyrany, because my love, and my belief is not to be heard, or taken accountable.

I am may not be the gayest supporter, the holder of our flag, the speaker of our generation. But I believe that love, surpasses all discrimination and political boundaries.

When will we behold our chance?


_________________________________________



This may come as a surprise to many of you. But has proposed to me, as of so long ago. We are working on getting fitted for our rings, and will be engaged in the near future.


It may come as a shock... seeing as how most consider me still youthful.

I try not to wonder so much about my doubts, and the doubts of others.

It's been a life long dream of mine to get married, and have a family. But we might wait on having kids... Us alone would cause much controversy between society and our families. Which makes my stomach churn just thinking about it.

It makes me sad... that we won't hold our "wedding" here in America. It would have been a delight to do so. I fear we may be going to Canada to get married instead.

Although, there is still time. We're hoping to tie the knot as soon as I turn 20.

For now, we'll be getting out pre-engagement rings.




__________________________________________

Commissions still in effect as of 3 weeks ago. Please let me know ahead of time if any wishes to have one made with any of the following mediums.

light pencil sketch
lineart manga pen
ink pen
digital sketch
digital inked
digital colored


thanks!

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/21101070/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/21101070/ Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:18:11 PDT
But when my mom let me borrow her contacts (well, actually I can have them..) She swears they're the same fucking prescription as my glasses. Yeah, I can see some what, but everything is gonna be blurry for a bit. Ugh and its taking forever to get used to.

My eyes hurt, my cheeks are red, my eyes are red from irritation. And I have to apply eye drops every 30min.

___________________________________

As for updates.

I am currently open for commissions... YAYYY :joy:

Even though, when I say that, Usually no one gives me something to do. So, I'm just gonna put that up there just in case... yeahhh


Current Commission:

- Alice in Wonderland

- Character design

Collaborations:



Theme - The Four Horsemen

So far she has - War, and Death

I have - Famine, and Conquest.


Still in the works soo... yeah be ready for that.

_________________________________


Anyways, I've done some work for people in the past. And I apologize for not being quick about it... I tend to have a scatter brain, but I promise I will get to people's commissions ASAP!!


Mk I guess that concludes the News.


PAYCE BETCHES.

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/20834304/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/20834304/ Mon, 06 Oct 2008 15:23:09 PDT

MY BROTHER HAS JUST SIGNED UP FOR DEVIANTART: MR. JULIO GARZA Please give him a very warm dA welcome!


He is a very talented artist, much like myself.

__________________________________
---------------------------------


So as many of you have already noticed, my gallery is beginning to flourish. Considering how there was a long a period where I would submit few drawings, maybe several within a month. Now it seems I am able to bushel out quite a few within a day or so.

I would also like to thank many of you whom have taken the time to sift through my gallery and fave many of my pieces. And of course, to the rest, who have followed my art since the beginning and the regulars who still continue to comment my work today.

I promise I will maintain this steady pace and dish out as many submissions ( and possibly commissions ) as possible!

________________________________

In other news:

Most of my drawings have contributed to a recent role-playing theme me and have been working on together. And I do have a few pages of the rp in my computer, but I doubt I will be posting it anytime soon.

Anyyyways, back to the drawings. The pictures themselves not only reflect the rp theme, but religion as a whole. Its a small love story: An angel who betrays God along with Lucifuge, condemned to the plain of the living with an uncureable disease, meets a girl, falls inlove, then plagues her, both condemned to hell, never to return to heaven, all for the sake of love. Thats just the gist of the story. It's a lot more complex in writing. And I've come to admire it's weirdness.

---------------------------------

And now time for some artists I've come to admire during the past few months:














http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/20530157/ Tue, 16 Sep 2008 22:46:24 PDT
I don't know if many of you noticed, but several deviations were removed from my gallery ( for understandable reasons) on the condition that they be returned to me after my gallery was browsed through for potential pictures being put on another site.
(most of the deviations were explicit)

I had messaged the individual several times asking for my deviations back, and for several months i was not notified that my pictures had gone missing, or were lost. I cannot emphasize enough how sick and infuriated I am with this situation. I've put a lot of consideration into this person's plite, and to be slapped in the face for my deed is unacceptable.

And that isn't the worst of my frustration. I am so fucking pissed that my art was not handled with care. I understand that this person no longer wishes to communicate, or even exist in my life anymore.. thats fine. I don't give two flying horse shits. But when you go and fuck with my art, my personal belongings, that is something to the highest caliber of ignorance and offense. How can someone be so negligent and nonchalant about doing that. You're sorry? Oh really... thats bullshit. You should be sorry for not giving them to me a month in advance, or even letting me know that you didnt have them. Well karma is one hell of a fucking bitch, and I'm tired of getting my due.


This is fucking bullshit.
__________________________________


I feel so damn stupid now. I regret ever allowing someone to even go onto my dA and do what ever they wanted with it. And not only that.. but several of my journals were also deleted. *sigh* God damnit.

I know my work isn't the best, and to that person my art may be considered worthless and crappy. But it is a reminder of my development in art today. It shows my progress over the two years of me having a dA.

Okay okay... whats done is done I suppose and I can't change that. And I can't with all good conscience completely blame the person for not having my pictures because it was my trust that led this to happen. So... I'm just going to have to move on and continue to expand my gallery.

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/20316551/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/20316551/ Wed, 03 Sep 2008 22:04:19 PDT _____________
::::::::::::::

I know its been awhile since I've been on/commenting/chatting. Its been very hectic these past few weeks, what with moving and accommodating and what not.

I'm just now getting back into school for my diploma. There was a brief period of drama and complications that prevented me from continuing with my schooling. Most of which was my own fault and I won't place blame on anyone but myself.

Other than attending school, I hope to get a job soon to help support my mother and her kids.
________________________________

For a while now I've been slipping downward, and shooting back up into more suitable moods. Everything thats happened has been too much, or too dramatic. Its hard for me to get a grip on things, so I will be furthering the halt any more art and or writing for the time being.

Things will once again be normal once i get a grip on a reasonable routine.
__________________________________

As or my other profile, I have an idea of what it could be used for, for the time being.

My past is something I hold dear to me, almost as if a grudge within itself, held against me. So I have decided to post "Love Letters" on the other account:

These "Love Letters" contain the remnants of past lovers. Something truly delicate and sentimental. And I want to share this experience with you.


Thank You all for your patience.

-Andrea

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19589907/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19589907/ Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:15:33 PDT
I have made a couple new adjustments to all my screen names and emails, so if you all would be so kind as to add me, or watch me on this user I would be greatly appreciated.

I do apologize for not taking the time to do it all myself, but there is a lot of art that needs to be moved around, and I think most of my night will be consumed of doing so.

Please have the utmost patience for me. It's a rather difficult time in my life. And I'm really trying very hard to start over, and just be happy again.

And I thank you all for being so considerate and faithful.

Anyways, Please note me if there are any concerns.

_________________________________

NOTE: IMPORTANT!

Just to let you all know, I might be deleting this page soon.

And After you all take down the other Deviant User Name, I will most likely delete this journal by the end of the day. So please leave me a comment or something on the other page so i know that atleast most of you have watched it, or added it. THANK YOU!!


-Andrea Garza

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19573147/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19573147/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:00:03 PDT
I just want to let you you all know, that I will be making a new deviant art account, and a new myspace account, as well as everything else I own via-internet.

I will keep those of you that have become my friends ( and followers XD) updated.


_________________________________

It's time to move on, and finally forget you, so that I may have a life of my own.



-Andrea

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19456190/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19456190/ Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:08:06 PDT
So expect a lot of dramatic changes!


_________________________________

Also: I speak in the third person now.

Don't let her catch y'all talkin' bout her behind her back. Because she is one crazy bitch, and she will not hesitate to fuck you up.


syke
syke
syke


But seriously
-------------
Soon to come!

FREE FREE FREE FREE commissions!

So send me the requests now!

(warning: I will choose whether or not to disapprove of certain requests, ie sex, prophanity, and other shit)









BYE BYE NOOWWW

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19343993/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19343993/ Fri, 11 Jul 2008 21:08:42 PDT
I found myself in a fetal position, eying a bottle of sleeping pills, a the while 4 zanies sat on the nite stand. I must've been drunk still because I started to laugh at the idea of wanting to die right then. I was, for some odd reason, okay with taking my own life that night. Because to me, nothing else matter at that moment. Nothing was significant, parallel, or connecting any more.

I lost it all
I lost it all
I lost it all

Was the only phrase that ran through my head. As if someone etched the phrase itself to a mallet, and relentlessly beat my brain with it. Everytime I closed my eyes I saw myself becoming exactly what I hated. Because I had told myself, too many times, I wouldnt end up they way 'everyone' else did. i wanted to believe I was above all those negative influences , false idols, and ideas. I always seem to tell myself I wouldnt have the same fate as my father and mother. That I wouldnt let the people who didnt care much for me, bring me down. I would hold dear to those who never gave up.

But to those I had given up. And each day i had realized I was becoming angrier, colder, closed off, private, and isolated. I would yell when no one was listening. I craved attention sexually, and just in general. I wanted to stand out. I wanted to hold my hands out. I wanted to cry, so that someone would take me in there arms and promise me everything would be okay. But I never really recieved what it was I wanted, because I wanted it from those who refused to give me their attention. Mother, Father...

I taste the drink, and like a stubborn cow, I continue to drink from its ever flowing chalice. I continue to dip my seemingly empty cup into it's potential "happiness". I indulge, and very slowly I die. The blood of Christ has filled me. The sin of Satan's sweet and undeniable nector has intoxicated me, it has captivated me. And I would never seem to stray from it's subsistences.

I'm dying. But I continue to smile. And when i cry, I do it in the confides of my own prison. Segregated from the world. Isolated from help and aid. When I scream, I clench my teeth shut. When I glare, I close my eyes tight.

I bite my tongue
and my lips
I keep it inside
To spare you

All the while, I seem happy, upbeat, and even optimistic. But inside I'm cynical and contradicting every action. You wouldn't know just by looking that I was self destructive. You couldn't even imagine how much I despise myself, yet can't help but lust over myself at the same time.

Damn it all to hell I say!

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19322704/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19322704/ Fri, 11 Jul 2008 01:58:37 PDT
So when I die, I can die feeling accomplished. Even if I meet an early death, by powers beyond my own, or by my own hand. I want to leave making an impact. I crave for the world to know my name, by any means possible.

So I will continue to live. To find what it is, I'm looking for.





I swear, you'll be mine 20yrs from now.

And I will stop everything just to make that happen!



Love you always.

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19163996/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19163996/ Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:16:35 PDT
To be consumed. To be distributed. To be used. To be a fundamental creation of a disease. To be corrupt. To be conditioned.

I've allowed myself to be this way.

As a more brilliant way to put it:

"when humanity wants a problem humanity makes a problem, regardless of whether it is or is not in actuality a problem"

_______________________________

I've realized that my blame is centered around the things and people that I could've changed. It's so much easier not to take fault when your wrong, but instead taking fault believing it's entirely your fault.

The world around me is small. Only because I choose to keep one foot in the door, and the other firmly rooted to the other side. Very rarely to I venture beyond my own limit...do to fear, change, and impulse. But inside its what I desperately crave for. I want to experience the life of others. I want to do things that would push my body and mind to the limit. To defy God, and all of his creations. To be the rebel, to retaliate, to defile, to destroy, even to create. But my humanely limit can only go so far mentally.

I was once told, that life wasnt a game. I can't just drink potions when I'm sick, or kill something when I'm mad.

It's our human right, nay, reaction, to kill, to destroy, to create a problem to solve a problem. To chose, to choice, regardless of the consequences, because deep down inside, we no longer fear God. Adumscia has granted us knowledge, our premortal sin. What is there left to fear in this world that hasn't already been claimed, or proven by logic and science? What is beyond the realm of our own (if any) that we choose to fear so!?

Life...
What is it? Is it merely the rotation of all that is existent. Or is it the product of one God's vision and idea to challenge what it is that he may not have already himself. What has he done to us, that we are aware of, that we should fear?

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19077228/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/19077228/ Fri, 27 Jun 2008 14:16:30 PDT ...........................
..............................
.................................
...............seriously dont..

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/18519558/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/18519558/ Mon, 26 May 2008 23:04:00 PDT
Love is twisted.

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/18408759/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/18408759/ Tue, 20 May 2008 01:36:56 PDT
So what do you do... Er what do I do? I get online... and I type away my inner most thoughts, believing that my rants will be seen across the world. Or is it the confidence I have knowing that none of my thoughts are actually being read? I have no idea really, my brain is too blood shot to even care at the moment.

So for now.. I'm going to let my hands take the wheel, as I zone out and pretend theres no on coming traffic.


When I was little my world revolved around one single source. And that source was fueled by my extreme, out of control imagination. Later in life I have been plagued with a movie I have created, no punch lines, or credits. When I hate reality...or when i just don't want to take your shit anymore... i turn off the lights...lock my door, and play the music that enables the 'source', the 'fuel' to kick on and start the engine. Sometimes I need a jump start... And usually life grants me the ability to use my imagination constantly. I'm still living like a kid in my head...but my body is growing and maturing. Life is passing me by.

SWURVE

Kids hated my a lot up until I came to california for school. I never understood why my differences were so intimidating to people. Was it because I lived outside the box society conditioned for us? I was always out spoken as a child... though quiet.. I seemed to challange everything. One of those, rambunctious, rebellious, too smart for the world Artists. People knew it.. I was out there. And yet I was a caged rat. Spending most of my time conjuring my thoughts within the sanctity of my room...under my blankets, as I stared up at the light until pink blue and purple dots danced across the room, and slowly i began to lose sight of it all and close my eyes to sleep. Another of the things I spent most of my time doing... sleeping.


SCREECHES TO A HALT

Come to think of it.. I haven't been very sad lately. If anything i've just been numb. I have this.. "Welp... here we are again" attitude going on right now. Surprisingly... I'm rather optimistic, though its subtle. I know the best has yet to come... and I await it patiently. Though sometimes I can't help but want to rush ahead, with my toes near tip into the future, looking yonder seeing if I could catch a glimpse of my unforetold future.

STARTS THE ENGINE UP AGAIN

Where was I? Where am I now?? Seems my glass of coke has run out. I should go refill that... hmmm.

I honestly hate an empty night. And what I mean by that is... I hate to be alone with no one to talk to. It is so demeaning to share my nonsense when no is present to challenge it. Whats a man with power without something or someone determined to defy him? The world is a less confusing place if there wasnt something there to make it interesting all the damn time.


THE CAR CATCHES FIRE AS THE TIRES BLOW OUT AND THE SPARKS IGNITE THE ENGINE

I've committed to many sins in my life to be considered a saint, no matter how much I try to be a fucking matry. I think I try to hard to gain the love and loyalty of people rather than myself. I just don't approve of who I am. Everything reminds me of something I'm not, or something I could be. The reflection stays the same in my eyes. The same smears and imperfections.

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/18379990/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/18379990/ Sun, 18 May 2008 09:35:30 PDT __________________________________

SO HERE ARE THE RULES
1. Write the rules in your journal
2. Write eight things about you
3. Tag 4 people
__________________________________

1. I hallucinate and ramble incoherently when my fevers reach 102 degrees.

2. I have a weird growth on my right hand middle finger.... Sometimes I like to think it gives me the ability to keep my hand extra steady when drawing.

3. BMS was my first real love/sexual experience

4. During the fall season in michigan me and my brother went thunder riding, and swimmed in giant mud puddles. i've never gotten so sick in my life.

5. Two of my worst fears are getting eaten alive by zombies and/or being possessed by the devil.

6. I really, really, reaaaaaaaally hate pauly shore.

7. I wanna die in a blaze of glory.

8. Cid and Nancy made me freakishly afraid to ever expirement with hardcore drugs. Although the love story was pretty neat.



____________________________________

IT CAN BE TAGGING TIEMZ NOW?









]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/18290547/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/18290547/ Mon, 12 May 2008 14:18:54 PDT


So I'm currently in Detroit Michigan for atleast 7 months @_@. Not much has changed at all. It's like, how you say... going back in time. The only thing that seemed to have changed was my families habits. Which deeply depresses and upsets me.

My mother has taken up drinking, from what my Grandmother says. Though she has a tendency to dramatize things. My mother's outlook on life has altered somewhat since I've been gone. (two years...it feels like 10 years at the rate everyone's been changing) She has been more loving and concerned with me. Which I guess is what I wanted more of before. My father is more reserved and quiet. He has aged much since I last saw him. But he's been rather supportive of me ever since I left at the age of 17. My brother has picked up a new addiction to the fatal drugs of weed, shrooms, and acid. Or atleast thats all hes doing... @_@

It's so boring here in Detroit/Dearborn. Theres not much going on like there was in california. Although I must say that its nice to kinda slow down a bit and appreciate the wilderness. Though the days are going by like drops of rain and it sucks horribly. I need to make some money before I head out to california. Supposedly my brother wants to come, and also one of his friends. So we only have about 7 months to make some money. And I fear we'll only make enough that'll last about 3 days. I'm really worried, and I'm hoping that one of my friends will have an apartment we can crash at while we look for work and schooling. I can honestly say. that this is like the biggest risk, leap, jump, step forward (many many steps forward XD) that we will take to better our lives and situations. I really just want to make my family proud. I want them to have a reason to brag about us. I know that we will be great individuals one day... but unfortunately I must think realisticaly until that day comes.


Wish us luck on our journey!


Love,
Andrea (drea)

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17984775/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17984775/ Tue, 22 Apr 2008 23:17:30 PDT

One honest answer.

Thats all you get.

You get to ask me one question.

To my inbox.

Any question, anything, no matter how crazy it is

No catch.

I'll even answer it honestly.

Just between me and you.

No one else will ever know

But I dare you to repost this,

and see what people ask you.

Repost this as "1 question, 1 answer"

___________________________________________________________________

I better get some response to this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17936542/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17936542/ Sun, 20 Apr 2008 00:34:09 PDT

Happy 19 years of living...to me...

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17874229/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17874229/ Wed, 16 Apr 2008 01:41:19 PDT
I have good news, bad news, and just news. So which do I start with first.

Lets cut some fucking wounds open, slice a lemon and dash some salt in that betch, BAD NEWS FIRST!!

Due to some recent, unsettling, bullshit I will be leaving back home soon. I am being rushed (just a tad) to take my g.e.d. test, so I won't be graduating in the fall like planned. Really... I am absolutely crushed! I was hoping to come back home with a diploma in hand. But the deal was to get me an education, and I've been slacking incredibly. Since the beginning of the year, I've just carried around with me this little black cloud. So now I'm convinced that I'm doomed to unhappiness until 2009. WEAK!! Also... my 4 closest friends have gone arry, because of some bullshit love triangle. Luckily I still have my more dependable friends... you all know who you are. (thanks for the support, as always!) This year has been a baaaaad year. And instead of being optimistic and hoping for the better, I've lost all confidence in myself, gotten into trouble, I became more depressed, angry, lazy, and cynical. I kinda deserve the little set back...the several steps back if you will. Only because it'll show me, what I had, and what I could've held onto, if I weren't so stubborn and bull-headed.

____________________________________________________________________

Good news?

...
Um...(thinks)

Oh yeah. So I'm starting commissions again. I don't really know if I should charge. So far I have one person who is interested. It'll do for now I guess .

Also, my drawing abilities (or as we like to say in the gaming world: DEXTERITY) has improved greatly! I can draw girls now!!! Yay!!! So I am very eager to do commissions for people. Though patients is key, because I have to mail everything, and stamps are expensive. So um... cut me some fucking slack XD. By the way, I will be signing all my work, and dating. And I urge anyone who has a scanner to use it, and give me credit where credit is due. I will not allow forgery!

...My cat had kittens... (isn't sure if that's news XD)

Although I'll be going home... It won't be the last time I touch Californian soil! I aim to come back. But first I'll take care of my family, and help my brother through school. I want to return within a year or two to get into college.

_____________________________________________________________________

News:


So the economy is shitty...and soon there will be another depression. WOO!!

Um.. How 'bout them nicks?

Okay so I don't watch much news now-a-days!

____________________________________________________________________

Other things that need to be done:


So I am currently in the process of developing a new char. Details soon!

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17714845/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17714845/ Sun, 06 Apr 2008 12:03:17 PDT
Has no one herd this song yet?? [link]

Its the gayest song I've ever heard... and I can't get it the fuck out of my damn head!!! *rips hair and scratches scalp*
___________________________________________________

Anyways

Just a head's up, most of my journals are inspired by the music I listen to.

Heres what I got so far:

Crystal Castles - Crimewave
Crystal Castles - Trash Halogram
Klaxons - Golden Scans
Klaxons - Its not Over yet
Ms Kittin and the Hacker - 1982
Garbage - Tell me where it hurts
New Order - Ceremony
New Order - Age of Consent
Apocalyptica ft. Sandra Nasic - Path
Simian Mobile Disco - It's the Beat
Simian Mobile Disco - Hustler
Goodbooks - Leni
Fredi le Grand - Put Your Hands up for Detroit
Bow wow wow - Fools rush in
Adam & the Ants - Kings of the Wild frontier
Raphael Ibanez de Garayo - Robotskin
Bjork - All is full of love
Groove Armada - At the River

Those are just a couple of songs I'm shuffling through at the moment.

__________________________________________________

AS FOR DEVIATIONS!

Commissions and collaborations are open: I'm taking requests now!

But please understand that I tend to procrastinate, so I will only take in a few ideas, and or char drawings.

I tend to do char related drawings a lot better on paper, so if you're comfortable giving me your mailing address, I assure you that you will not be disappointed!

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17682730/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17682730/ Fri, 04 Apr 2008 12:33:25 PDT
]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17616346/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17616346/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 00:22:30 PDT


Good one dA.


btw I hate my new icon XD

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17605433/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17605433/ Mon, 31 Mar 2008 12:24:03 PDT
as you can plainly see here: [link]

The idiot, is no longer a part of deviant.
I ask that we all bow our heads for a moment in silence. OKAY now lets bust out the fucking kegs!!!

I received a message today stating that has been banned. Thank the justice system!

Although... some, small, aching part of me misses the little shit. Only because I feel, that another idiot in the world, has been successfully baptized by my awesome jesus juices. He got what was coming for him. But somehow I think he will be back... for some kind of revenge. And if he does, that'll just prove how much of a loser he really is. And how much he wants for me to be apart of his life. XD I'm sucha betch.

But seriously kid... Stop wasting away infront of your fucking computer and get a life. Your about the age where you need to separate yourself from your mom's tate and just dive head first into life. Get yourself a decent job, make yourself a little cash, save it.. and I don't know... go to college? Shit do something man.

In this generation, I kinda feel like kids are given less weight to pull each year. Theres always something out there to make things easier, and less authentic. So your individuality is lost within everything thats already done. I think it sucks that its harder to make that much of an impact in the world. I wanted to be a freakin rockstar when i grew up... but because of the shit thats happened to me... i feel like i cant do it. Society wouldn't except me as who I am. And it never will. Because their IS an etiquette to society people.. If you don't float in the world, than you are considered a waste of time. But there are a lot of people who actually care, and those are the people you should look to for guidance.

The world is creating nothing but a bunch of sopping wet, bratty little pussies.


( I should talk... I have yet to find a job or support myself.. but I'm trying! Must set a good example XD)


Yours Truly,
Andrea

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17559466/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17559466/ Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:17:10 PDT
The Radio Dpt - Pulling our own weight

New Order - Ceremony

Adam & The Ants - Kings of the Wild Frontier

Gwen Stefani - Luxury

New Order - Age of Concent

Gang of Four - Natural's not in It

Bow Wow Wow - Aphrodisiac

___________________________________________________________________

The first time, in a great while
A feeling of content
For the time was spent
Walking a thin mile

Now hand in hand
A thorny rose
A gayly pose
I was at your command

I sigh of regret
An ache to my heart
A cry from apart
How could I let...

Anything happen
Say good bye
With another lie
To an end

Save yourself
One more kiss
Any wish
They way you've felt

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17544760/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17544760/ Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:29:13 PDT

I just wanted to thank all of you who answered and supported my last journal. We all need to work a little harder to rid the idiocy of this world... one dumbass at a time.


___________________________________________________

Update!!!

I will be working on several pieces... Nothing to major but enough to crank out some deviations.

NOTE: Characters are open for commission!

Please let me know if I haven't finished/started the commissions I promised many of you. I need an update as to who, and what I have not completed yet. THANKS!


-----------------------------------------------------------------------

In other news:

I'm still looking for a tattoo shop to intern at. Wish me luck!

My birthday is coming up soon! Well... Next month but yeah. I will be 19 WOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I am such an old shit.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------


Umm... That is all.

Thanks for tunin' in guys.

Yours truly,
Andrea

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17524750/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17524750/ Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:43:15 PDT He seems to like to give himself the title of "DeviantArt Bully".

I normally handle situations on my own... But this has gone far enough. I will not let my page be subject to some little shit who's balls havent even dropped yet. I'm becoming a little frustrated with how he damns my race, sexual orientation, and feelings. I dont quite care much for bully games, but when it comes to who I am as a person, I will not stand for it.

I urge any administrators to see into this, along with beta testers. I want him removed from dA, along with his art, and friends.

I also encourage all my friends, to report him at once! If he hasn't bothered you already, see into his page... I'm sure the stolen art would be enough to set you off.

These are some comments he has left me thus far:

ur mother is the one who is playing with my dick =3

ooh Im so scared
as if a little geeky adminastrator is going to do anything u dumb mexican u make me laugh

thanks for all the attention youve given me pinata thats ur new pet name

ur my latin slave now you shit biting cunt licking hoar

ur not a greaser if u like zelda or final fantasy

yeah whatever u sexican peice of shit u know theirs some wankers at my school who are gagging for a latin sex slave maybe I'll ship over your slutty mother and fetish addicted grandma

yeah as if what r u planning to do that if any geeky cunts tried anything I'd beat the fuck out of them^^

well u can suck me bitch
I've always wanted a latin slave

well fine then you pinata beating girl =3

u think ur a greaser?
thats pathetic if u were a greaser then why would u draw art and own a computer dont make me laugh

_______________________________________________

Its all fun and games... until someone ruins my page because they aren't mature, or evolved enough to have the decency to note me on the issue.

I am tired of noobies, who get onto deviant, with nothing to show for but an empty page, and how much they like video games, and other useless crap.

Where as I, actually had art ready before I joined this place. I'm a little upset with the slow responses of the administration. That, I will handle at a later date. But for now... I want idiotic, blubbering, illiterate, nobodies like removed from society.

His day will come, when he's looking up the pointed finger of judgment. You think he's a loser now? In the after live he won't just be pushing daisies... People like you...redneck, honky, stupid, piles of waste... Need to be ripped from the womb before birth, and twisted around until you are shreaded within that bitch of a whore you call a mother.

I'm sure you parent's blood curdle at the though of ever concieving you into this world. Your dad was probably drunk, and your mother: so ugly she took what she could get. 9 months later your mom thought she was queefing but actually gave birth to the next retard. She must've not pushed very hard, I'm sure you slid out and clonked your head on something. Your father probably wasn't even there.

Its sad to think, that someone of your... *cough* caliber is still roaming the world in search of place. I suggest you either kill yourself, or walk into on coming traffic.

People like you my friend... Are what we like to call.. the "practice". You are the stepping stones. And I see no other potential in you other than that. You are a sniveling, cowering, no good. A person that is shunned left and right. Though I do hope you wise up, and mature in the near future. For now... I want to see you burn.

To many of you... This seems like a small deal to get all worked up over this. Well... I've had a rough year so far.. And I'm stressed to the point where I can kill with no regrets.

I don't threaten your life young sir. But when the time comes.. I hope you have learned well. Because the next person you think... you're bullying... will most likely be the guy you're kissing ass to.

When you push someone far enough, expect the next office shoot out to have your name on the list.
_________________________________________________

Do me a favor... Get help, some kind of counceling. Bullying doesnt make you happy. If you think it does, or makes you m... ]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17509760/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17509760/ Tue, 25 Mar 2008 13:28:52 PDT

Seems I have a nack for attracting small inferior beings. I shouldn't gloat, but damn I'm good. Come to me, you rejected, feared, and weak beings. I shall grant you security, compassion, and sympathy. Seems many of you...so called 'bullies', can't even put together a decent sentence without turning into yourself and blubbering like the small and scared infant you truly are. Do not fret, for I shall be your wrathful God.

I understand life is hard for you infants. I've had my share of woes before I had begun to open my eyes and discover my purpose. Trust me... inflicting negative insults on other beings IS NOT COOL. Unless, you know how to do it properly. Which many of you fail miserably to do.

If you decide to come at me, with some lame ass comment... at least have the decency to nail a piece of wood to your head with "I'M AN IDIOT" etched into the fiber. I'm quite tired of these stupid little games I have to play... I'm not in the mood, nor in the state of pride to even consider agreeing that my art should be fit to YOUR liking. I do art for my own purposes and use. Though at the same time welcome with open arms all sorts of comments. I do disapprove of negativity unless it falls into the category of critiquing. And if that is the case, your profile better be a hell of a lot better than mine.

On a more harsher note:

I'm going to put this as rash... and demeaning as possible.

You little shits... YES YOU.. If there is something, ANYTHING, that you do not find fitting to be on this page, or gallery, in all fairness NOTE ME!! I do not need your retarded, idiotic, poor grammar, brain shaking, vomit educing, comments on my fucking page! I am literally sick of you fucking spleen feeding maggots going through my gallery and messing up the neatness of the comment boxes. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, LEAVE! IF IT REALY DOES BOTHER YOU THAT FUCKING MUCH... NOTE ME, FOR FUCK SAKE!!

I honestly do care for each and every single comment I obtain, good and bad. The bad ones...more so. Because it shows me, that your life is so sad, pathetic and lonely, that you stumble upon someone who obviously has more to offer in the finger tip than you ever could in a life time, that you are content and willing enough to forge from your mind, a piece of your judgement. Thank you... really, I am glad I have become another idol orbiting the center of your discontent, your droll and pitiful life.

Wait... don't put the gun to your head just yet.

Listen.. Life is cruel.. above all, unbearable. It's up to you to decide where your next step will take you. And pray to what ever God you worship, that that step... doesn't bump you into ME. I may turn around with a disgusted look on my face, salvating, ready to hawk spit right between your eyes... But if I see the ambition in your eyes, and the will from your soul, I will offer my hand in guidance. If You choose to reject my sympathy.. Then step aside from my way, and move on. I cannot stress... the apathy I feel for most newbs. But hell, I don't mind helping a few as much as I can.

Yours truly,

Andrea

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17479592/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17479592/ Sun, 23 Mar 2008 17:41:16 PDT

So theres this little shit ^^^^
As posted above.

Let me just say something to those of you, who just don't know how to critique a piece of art, nor put up a good argument as to why you decided to comment it in the first place. People like you ~hammerhead-hamster deserve to die a most gruesome, and horrible death.

Allow me to tell you...in detail...how you should die.

First you will trip over a dirty condom ( the same one your father's still using to fuck your mom), landing straight onto a cucumber. As you scream mercilessly, a giant cock like shank forces itself into your throat. You choke on your own blood. And the vermin of the world begins to feat on your body. The demons are unleashed from hell and rape your ass vigorously until they release themselves in your bowels. God...so discusted by the display forces his fist down onto the earth crushing you and your pathetic waste of a human life down into hell, where satan gets his fill...AND I MEAN FILL.. skull fucking your eyes out and shooting off into the back of your neck. He throws your body, that not even a dirty perverted step dad would touch, into the lake of fire. You burn for all eternity. And when I go to hell...I'll poke you with my pitch fork and take turns with hitler pissing in your eye sockets.

]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17363556/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17363556/ Sun, 16 Mar 2008 13:21:11 PDT

Holy shet what a week! Turns out I didnt get the tattoo apprenticeship. Seems my leg was pulled and I had to much of a high hope. Psh...On The Up side my friend Alex and I will be looking for other tattoo shops in hopes they may trade experience for a little elbow grease. Meh what ever gets me to where I need to go right?

Also...I transfered to a different school due to..some..emotional set backs. But things are looking good and I have a little more free time.

Tomorrow is St. Pat's day and I was looking forward to seeing the festivities down town with some friends, but meh they might be working. I was also looking forward to some st. pat elixirs but my age will prevent that...among other things XD. But nah seriously...

Okay I understand I haven't really done any art lately...I apologize. I'm just now getting back into the 2-D style. I have a whooole portfolio filled with junk art...but sadly...no scanner.

TO:
and

I AM SO SORRY I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEND YOU GUYS YOUR PICTURES. I WILL GET ON THAT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!


Hmmmmmmmmmm What else am I missing?

Why haven't I been on lately is one of my more frequently asked questions: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS NEWYORK!





]]> ~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17130365/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/17130365/ Sat, 01 Mar 2008 08:58:57 PST



~punkstatikstar http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/16936851/ http://punkstatikstar.deviantart.com/journal/16936851/ Sun, 17 Feb 2008 21:36:44 PST
FOR STARTERS I AM LOOKING UP GRANTS AND SCHOLARSHIPS IN THE SACRAMENTO CA, AREA.

I'M NOT IN COLLEGE YET AND I'D REALLY LIKE IT IF SOMEONE COULD HELP ME OUT ON WHERE I WOULD NEED TO LOOK OR GO.

1) HOW DO I APPLY
2) WHERE CAN I GET AN APPLICATION
3) ANY ADDITIONAL INFORMATION NEEDED



OKAY THANKS!!

-ANDREA

]]> ~punkstatikstar