http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:puppydawgkilla&section=today deviantART RSS for by:puppydawgkilla en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 03 Dec 2009 23:03:54 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/14787024/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/14787024/ Tue, 25 Sep 2007 13:52:07 PDT
]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/14017504/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/14017504/ Sat, 04 Aug 2007 16:14:22 PDT that pretty.


sometimes.

but! i do grow my own hair. naturally from my head, that is.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/14007654/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/14007654/ Fri, 03 Aug 2007 21:16:32 PDT
Hannah creeps me out and I hope she stubs her toe or something awful like that. And I will cackle, because she is FUCKING CREEPY.

Creep.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/13628591/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/13628591/ Fri, 06 Jul 2007 01:15:26 PDT Driving in the car to God knows where windows down- air combing out our hair.

Let's talk about the Simpsons and how they'll never have a film
There would be too many cameos.

And 7 years later it's on the big screen
Discussions at 6am when you were almost 17.
Call me from your phone and ask me if I am alone
I say yes, you try your best to keep me from being at home.

Let's watch Jenny Jones and eat hashbrowns
I put them in the toaster cos they cook quicker.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/13045136/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/13045136/ Mon, 21 May 2007 23:20:28 PDT
I came to the states on a boat. True story.

Breanne is back and this is sheer awesomeness.

I played tonight and got a bunch of claps and a bunch of "woo!"s. It was pretty rad.

I tried to write shit, but nothing is coming out.

I'm sure if you gave a 3 year old a pencil and stuck it in their butt they could write better poetry than I could.

Poo-etry.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12820061/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12820061/ Wed, 02 May 2007 18:50:14 PDT
everytime i think about that i want to cry. parents can be so cruel/mean/understanding (ha!) sometimes.

because it came from them, it drives stakes into my heart/brain and it makes me want to piss blood.

ew.

all i know is, i'm not hot for anyone. i don't get "hot" for people unless i want to FUCK. what they said really hurt me, and i still think about it, cos it makes me want to FUCKING CRY.

and it happened about a month ago. 3 weeks or something. 3 1/2 weeks. something.

i'm still upset about it. it really really hurt. I DON'T KNOW WHY.

but apparently not enough to give me fuel for poetry.

nothing gives me fuel for poetry.

or lyrics.

this lack of creativity and expression, this emptiness makes me feel... i dunno. like jumping off a tall, tall building. but how am i going to get into those in downtown tampa?

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12319294/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12319294/ Sun, 25 Mar 2007 07:04:18 PDT
]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12300580/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12300580/ Fri, 23 Mar 2007 18:02:14 PDT
]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12228755/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12228755/ Sun, 18 Mar 2007 06:44:33 PDT monito y tengo bien dia.
ponte pantalones por favor.


See? See? I am catching on although I have no friggen clue what I just said!

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12078362/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12078362/ Tue, 06 Mar 2007 08:57:24 PST it might be okay. i have this feeling that everything is going to be okay.

it's going to be okay if she never loves me cos we are very good friends anyway. this will be okay.

can't find my john vanderslice cd, but it will be okay.

it's just, i had a dream that everything was right. but in the end i went bungee jumping just to see how it would feel jumping off a building and not dying. it's kind of a half assed job. also, i broke something. but she whispered in my ear, he was just around the bend, and my john vanderslice cd was buried in dirt below me, sticking out just so.
everything was okay. like it will be.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12038206/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12038206/ Sat, 03 Mar 2007 10:05:34 PST It was really weird. I spilled my anger out with him over the phone and everything was understood. So that's good. Then I went over, watched that DVD, shared some of that good ol Charlie. Breanne... you know what I'm talking about. OHHH yeeeeeahh.
Charlie. Sigh.
Anyway, it was really good and I didn't come down after seeing Charlie till 12 last night. Really really good times. Really good.
Anyway. I think I have to poop or something. It's cos I'm thinking about the New Pornographers. They make me so excited I poop my butt.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12007048/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/12007048/ Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:51:50 PST but i'm sick of writing every song about you.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11960419/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11960419/ Sun, 25 Feb 2007 11:55:19 PST maybe some ands. maybe.
last days of april says how can your two hands and ten fingers move nine planets? i ask the same question cos i don't know how either.
i'm listening to 311! this song was pre-you. i like it. it reminds me of naive i was. i was because i didn't know. i never knew until i met you. and this sucks cos the ouija board was right.
i'm bored with these feelings. find a new way to entertain me.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11795751/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11795751/ Tue, 13 Feb 2007 07:57:03 PST There is no plus side.
That sucks, too.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11752387/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11752387/ Fri, 09 Feb 2007 20:19:09 PST i look at them and say i miss you?

i can't listen to wilco. but i can listen to number eight (how to fight loneliness) and i can listen to number eight (i'm the man who loves you) and i can listen to the new pornographers (ALL THE TIME WHO ARE COMING TO ORLANDO ON THE 10TH OF MARCH) and i can pretend we are dancing to streets of fire.

lick my lips
twist my hips...

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11709657/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11709657/ Tue, 06 Feb 2007 12:23:46 PST
]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11622146/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11622146/ Tue, 30 Jan 2007 11:05:52 PST But some things call for being passive agressive because that's the only way you'll get it, Rachel. If I come right out and say it you wonder what's the matter. They're more important this time. Bonnaroo was something "we" wanted to do. But you didn't make any effort. But now that you have new, more important friends, you are going to go this y ear, and you are making the most effort that you can. And I hate you.

How's that for passive agressive?

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11536293/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11536293/ Mon, 22 Jan 2007 22:54:21 PST
tonight i performed some poetry and some music. the crowd just kind of looked at me. i felt like a big nothing. i was nothing. especially compared to the other guitarists... they were entertaining and accepted because their music was so... how do I say... they all fit the same pompous indie-fuck genre. they were all trying to be deep. i was trying to be poetic. i know it may sound like i'm trying to make myself feel better, but really, i know i felt like nothing. and in that moment in time, i was.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11319158/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11319158/ Thu, 04 Jan 2007 22:02:31 PST
life is in shambles. i have no creative outlet. none. poems suck now. songs have no life. most of them are just me singing "ahhhhhHHHHhhhh"

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11250553/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/11250553/ Sat, 30 Dec 2006 21:22:11 PST and i think you considered me your girlfriend, so when i hugged him you got so territorial that you stopped talking to me. and for that, i would like to stick something with lots of splinters in your
things have been weird lately. had a great dream that made me forget everything, but when i woke, i felt like shit, like something had been taken from me. i wrote a poem about it called "draw bridge slide." it'll be up in a minute. so you can read it if you want to, i don't really care.
but i love you.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10964601/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10964601/ Tue, 05 Dec 2006 18:56:04 PST

Ahaha. Yes, I really do apologize.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10899996/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10899996/ Thu, 30 Nov 2006 09:54:38 PST
I'm a man, I've got tats up the wazoo and piercings that show how much pain I can take.
I'm a man. I've got a deep voice to show my balls have dropped and big chops to tell you the peach fuzz has turned into a grove.
I'm a man. I stop talking to a little asian girl who is pretty (hehe) just because, and I won't tell her why cos I'M A BIG FAT FUCKING PUSSY.
Okay, you got me, I'm not a man. I'm a boy.





Dude, silent treatment is for elementary school. Grow the fuck up and stop acting like a child.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10719910/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10719910/ Tue, 14 Nov 2006 06:03:19 PST
]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10676424/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10676424/ Fri, 10 Nov 2006 06:11:06 PST
]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10359804/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10359804/ Wed, 11 Oct 2006 15:20:31 PDT to make the noise that i kept so quiet.
kept it from you, pitseleh

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10328182/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10328182/ Sun, 08 Oct 2006 17:33:16 PDT heart just jumps right through..."

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10192471/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10192471/ Tue, 26 Sep 2006 12:34:29 PDT I don't get it.
I think you did this purposely to hurt me.
Because I hurt you.
And I'm sorry.

]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10119569/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/10119569/ Tue, 19 Sep 2006 07:35:41 PDT do anything to you. i don't deserve this, and if you think about it long enough, you'll see and agree. but i know you won't. but i know you think about me, because you are looking at my page right now. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9920015/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9920015/ Thu, 31 Aug 2006 15:04:33 PDT ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9794288/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9794288/ Sun, 20 Aug 2006 15:15:12 PDT and i don't know if this is what you wanted,
but you have lost a friend in me. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9771073/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9771073/ Fri, 18 Aug 2006 11:45:40 PDT
when i ask you to kiss my pulse, you offer to start the shower. i want a verb and you give me a noun. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9710573/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9710573/ Sun, 13 Aug 2006 07:56:24 PDT Eat sleep wake work die.
I'm obviously feeling rather pessimistic. All I want to do is read. No work. No eat. No sleep. No wake. No die. Just read.
But I can't do that apparently. I need money to buy books. Or I should just get a library card. But where else could I find Apathy and Other Small Victories?
Sigh.
Eat sleep wake work die. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9530114/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9530114/ Sat, 29 Jul 2006 05:10:59 PDT
Things could not be going more mediocre than it already has been. I texted Ash saying not to wear herself out at work. I hope she doesn't.

Nosebleeds are my life lately.

Hurt seems to seep in at any chance it gets.

My brother is in Iraq. This hurts.

He decided not to tell me, even though we are good friends. I would be happy for him, you know? I can tell he loves her a lot, and that is good for someone to feel towards someone else. How could I not be happy? I just feel like he couldn't be straight with me, and that hurts too.

I am failing a class, and this hurts because I slacked off and now I'm studying extra hard, and it's making me have nosebleeds.

I might be able to get a medical appeal from the school to get my scholarship back. I'm trying to do well, it's just hard sometimes.

Anyway. Eva Peron was the bomb, and so was Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz. Do you like them? I do. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9275084/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9275084/ Tue, 04 Jul 2006 20:29:33 PDT i tried very hard to get into keats, but i couldn't take it. so i tried more yates, and loved him. cummings still makes me cum though. ack, that sounds gross. well, it is. so what you gonna do?
summer school is tough. tougher than regular school. but i'm trying to keep up with the joneses.
my brother is making me very sad. i just want to make that known to the world, but i will not say anything.
i turned down the mj. hooray! i am no longer under the shackles of the greenery!

yes, i am no longer in shackles.


ps
making eyes and the toy tambourine totally rocks boulders.


this entry was really dumb. but i typed that whole mess, and i'm keepin it. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9118717/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9118717/ Mon, 19 Jun 2006 18:24:31 PDT
i tried to write a poem. i can't write fucking poems anymore. this was what i got:


nineteen eighty five was a good year.
you were born, and that's pretty cool.
i was born two years later.
you've always been older than me.
then one day, you were a man.
that was cool, too.

see?

i tried to write a song and all i got was:


i put on my cowboy boots to walk across the states
washington ain't that far if love is what takes you there.
your feet might hurt and when you get there your heart might hurt too.
and that pretty much sucks.




see what lack of life i have in my art and... life? ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9023479/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/9023479/ Fri, 09 Jun 2006 23:24:02 PDT ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8988172/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8988172/ Tue, 06 Jun 2006 11:52:28 PDT i cry when people flat out tell me they hate me. i hate you. doesn't that sound so hurtful?
i tried not to do anything wrong. i just have very poor judgement.
i think i had a fling. i don't expect you to call, and i don't even expect you to write. but i do expect to be on your mind from time to time, and to have you smile when you think of me, as i do when i think of you. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8937597/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8937597/ Thu, 01 Jun 2006 07:09:28 PDT that run down the gutter
two teeth make,
Tears in route
running a groove in your cheek.
Waterfalls leave smooth rocks
When the river dries up
You can determine where a river once was
Just by examining rocks.
Your face never forgets a cry
like trace remnants of acid in your spine.
The erosion's cries cause
make whiskers prematurely sprout in men
and in women,
homogenize complexion,
diluting pigment,
till the whole face is washed
with a slight mascara tint.
Your face never forgets a cry
like trace remnants of acid in your spine
-Why?: Waterfalls ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8880583/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8880583/ Fri, 26 May 2006 05:33:14 PDT ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8831910/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8831910/ Sun, 21 May 2006 05:19:52 PDT by an eye in the sky that can't be stopped
and when you get to the promise land
you're gonna shake that eye's hand.

your heart felt good
it was drippin' pitch and made of wood
your hands and knees
felt cold and wet on the grass to me.

well outside naked shivering looking blue
from the cold sunlight that's reflected off the moon
baby cum angels fly around you
reminding you we used to be three and not two
and that's how the world began
and that's how the world will end.

Modest Mouse
-Third Planet ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8544368/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8544368/ Fri, 21 Apr 2006 19:14:24 PDT It's been a while, has it not? Well, I just wanted to tell you that I wanted to write a poem called "You're The Reasong I Write Poetry." So if you have any ideas as to what it should be about besides the obvious, that would be very helpful.
I like talking to yous because you guys help me out a lot. You know who you are. I asked questions you gave me answers, both of you. Thanks!
I am at my best friend's (in the whole universe) house in Gainesville. Erica is her name.
We have been friends since ninth grade. Which means a lot to me because I have never been friends with anyone for this long.
Well... I'm going to go now, she wants to show me something. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8368332/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8368332/ Tue, 04 Apr 2006 21:00:27 PDT I think you are the cutest thing on this planet. I told Breanne about you, and she said to save you for her, but then I explained to her that I wanted you all to myself, and she understood. Even though I think you would like her better than me.
Today I asked you to go to the play with me and you said you didn't know. This totes hurted my feels. Cos I wanted you to say it along the lines as "I would love to go, but let me see if I'm working or not." Cos then I'd understand. But you just said "I don't know" and girls never want to hear that. Unless they are very optimistic girls, or girls really pushing it saying "Well at least he didn't tell me no." I am not one of those girls. I am a sensitive girl, and I know you are a sensitive boy. Well, no I don't. It seems like things don't phase you, and maybe that is why I am attracted to you?
Typing that out makes me not want to like you at all.
But you give me the best hugs and you hug me everytime you see me, which gives me the impression that you like my hugs and you don't have a girlfriend. Which you don't, because my secret agent Jason found out for me. Of course I was standing right there, but it still didn't look suspicious.
I LIKE YOU DAMMIT. I WANT YOU TO LIKE ME TOO. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?
I WOULD BUY YOU WITH LOVE AS LONG AS THE RECEIPT WAS AFFECTION. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8326784/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8326784/ Fri, 31 Mar 2006 19:21:09 PST tonight is a gorgeous night, as i have said before in an email to a dear old friend.
i smoke a lot to enjoy this night, because i have no one to enjoy it with. i have no real friends in valrico, all of my good friends are far away. breanne, claudia, stephanie, erica.
ash and liz work. i work. all the time. so many hours in a week. and i get weak. too tired to make any real friends. too tired to have a boyfriend?
no. i will never be too tired to walk slowly under the streetlight's orange glow, with a boy holding my hand and talking muchly.


things have been very shady.
the people i was supposed to be going to bonnaroo with have dropped out on me.
since i won't be going by myself, i am just no going at all.
so long cat power.
so long talib kwali.
so long bela fleck.
so long radiohead.

so long bonnie raitt? ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8178281/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8178281/ Thu, 16 Mar 2006 12:42:25 PST
my heart is a sinking ship. it's sinking so fast i might shit it out. one day, lo and behold, my heart will be floating in the toilet.

so i called his mum and asked her if i could explain things to her. like how much i missed him, what went wrong, and maybe she would understand and give me his address in basic training. i left this all on the machine. hopefully she will get it. this is the first time in four months i have heard his voice. and i started to cry. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8136710/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8136710/ Sun, 12 Mar 2006 06:41:25 PST Drown in the ocean of love... do you consider this symbolic?
And I can't imagine why you wouldn't through me a float
Than leave me there to float.
You can call me crazy, but you're still the one for me.
I've got my heart in my pocket.
And I might be crazy, but you're still the one for me
And you're the only one who can
Fix me. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8132458/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8132458/ Sat, 11 Mar 2006 16:23:17 PST
And someone also commented about metaphors. I was just trying to write a poem about my favourite instrument... and if you read closer, it's about making love, which is weird, because I did not intend to do that.

Oh, the poet's ear. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8103092/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8103092/ Wed, 08 Mar 2006 12:58:12 PST I am moving to New York this August to live with my brother and his wife. I am dropping out of college. Nothing will keep me here.
Except maybe you. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8080800/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8080800/ Mon, 06 Mar 2006 05:30:54 PST I've cried and wept (redundancy? Called for) over Daniel and how much I miss him, when I realized, crying won't help. I got a fortune cookie that said sometimes you gotta play hardball. So I wrote him a letter, asked his mum for his address (didn't give it to me, but I hope she will), and then got "giggly" as a kite.
Spencer is yummy and gives me the goods. We get giggly in his room. We break out the Led and listen to the Ocean. Everything is boomy. I fall into a stone sleep where I just kept saying "I am a stone". And for three hours, I forget about Danny and I am happy.
Tyler and I are growing distant. It's not like I'm trying to distance myself from him, but he's just been really bitchy lately.
Like yesterday, we were playing pool and then I said, "I don't want to play ball in hand." and he said, "What's your problem?" and I said, "I just don't want to play ball in hand." and he was all like "We're not playing ball in hand" all bitchy like.
Then he tried to tell me I didn't like Romeo and Juliet cos I didn't understand it. I understand it, I just don't like the story. I liked Hamlet, I liked King Lear and Macbeth (which I read in sixth grade... unassigned), and Othello. I just hated Romeo and Juliet. I don't like "I'll look to like if looking liking move." I don't like "prodigous birth of love." I don't like how Romeo was soooo in love with Rosaline in the beginning of the play and then meets Juliet and they get married within a week. I mean, that's dumb. But I do like however, that they die and then the feud between the Capulets and the Montagues is resolved. I thought that was a nice ending.
But he said I didn't like it cos I didn't understand it. Nigga please.
So I left.
Then, did I tell you? We were in the DJ booth cos he has his own DJ show. I picked out every song for the first like, 30 minutes, and then some girls come in to tell him they really like the music he's playing. And you know what he says? THanks. THANKS! That MF said THANKS! No props to me whatsoever.

So yeah, Tyler and I growing apart. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8062089/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8062089/ Sat, 04 Mar 2006 04:36:55 PST ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8041623/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8041623/ Wed, 01 Mar 2006 20:33:29 PST [link] ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8028986/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8028986/ Tue, 28 Feb 2006 15:09:27 PST
no.

i want more than i'm willing to get. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8025369/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8025369/ Tue, 28 Feb 2006 07:17:18 PST So anyhow, I am really happy and I think it won't last, because it never does. But I must dance to the beats of Optimism. And kiss him. Cos I won't diss him, cos I miss him.
I dont feel liberated just yet. I am shackled by my medication. I can't wait to get off it and be free from forced seratonin and endorphins. I already feel the pull downwards. I was happy for about 3 hours and now I just feel really low. Being bipolar sucks. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8009224/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8009224/ Sun, 26 Feb 2006 13:52:33 PST I draw a drunk breath of electric city air
I am blessed and I am stained
I am empowered, yet I'm drained
full in love with an ideal I found somewhere

And this is a picture
There are many like it on the scrap pile of my soul
Hold on
And I hold on tight because you never know

Stepping on the pedal to get my girlfriend home by six
I draw her close, I kiss her lightly on the cheek
We've got pavement mist in trees
and prom night morning dew on leaves
Brandy Fant's house on the left here presently

And this is a picture
There are many like it on the scrap pile of my soul
Hold on
And I hold on tight because you never know

Breathless from a ballroom; hand in hand into the burnt down
the pinball game of state street's mourning night
Empty lecture halls forever and the tower bells hover mute
as two visionaries proudly lose their sight

And this is a picture
There are many like it on the scrap pile of my soul
Hold on
And I hold on tight because you never know
Because you never know.



Army Of Darkness-- A band that no longer exsists ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8009218/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8009218/ Sun, 26 Feb 2006 13:52:15 PST I draw a drunk breath of electric city air
I am blessed and I am stained
I am empowered, yet I'm drained
full in love with an ideal I found somewhere

And this is a picture
There are many like it on the scrap pile of my soul
Hold on
And I hold on tight because you never know

Stepping on the pedal to get my girlfriend home by six
I draw her close, I kiss her lightly on the cheek
We've got pavement mist in trees
and prom night morning dew on leaves
Brandy Fant's house on the left here presently

And this is a picture
There are many like it on the scrap pile of my soul
Hold on
And I hold on tight because you never know

Breathless from a ballroom; hand in hand into the burnt down
the pinball game of state street's mourning night
Empty lecture halls forever and the tower bells hover mute
as two visionaries proudly lose their sight

And this is a picture
There are many like it on the scrap pile of my soul
Hold on
And I hold on tight because you never know
Because you never know.



Army Of Darkness-- A band that no longer exsists ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8007936/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8007936/ Sun, 26 Feb 2006 11:29:34 PST
dancing with that boy at the club made me realize i really do not like boys at all. well, as friends, yes, and if i am comfortable enough to dance sexy salsa with you (like some) then i will totally do it. but reggaeton at the club with some random sexy latino is nice, but when we is salsa-ing and it starts getting heavy i back down. can i help it? nope. i done tried it before and it made me all asexual. not sexual at all. dancing salsa with strangers i know don't want nothin of me (like the club for amateur salsa dancers) all awkward and funky is nice. but all professional and rubby makes me uncomfy. even dancing with friend for long time was gross when he put his arm around my waist. could taste bile in my throat. totally grody.
there are, however, some (one) boy i would not mind making love to, but the extent is only there. no sexy stuff. just love stuff. can't say i love him, can't say i don't. i don't even care about his region, just his heart, and it would be "in it".
but as far as casual goes, i don't want it.
there are plenty of chicas, but that ain't what i want either.
the boy who looks cute like a gremlin before the water grosses me out when i think about smoochin him. and dancing salsa with him. or fucking him. i hope he doesn't read this, but he don't know that he's like a cute gremlin. he just knows that i freestyle rap.

okay, i done got it off my chest. now i think i'm going to rest. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8006071/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/8006071/ Sun, 26 Feb 2006 07:24:20 PST

I have an addition. Well, I have two addictions. One is to cigarettes. I have like, a dollar, and cigarettes cost 3.14, I have 14 cents... I just need two more dollars. I can't ask my parents cos they won't want to support my habit.
My second addiction is to "Sea Lion" by Sage Francis. If you have never heard the song, I urge you to buy the CD or download it from the internet. I personally like the live version better, featuring Jolie Holland, which you can get from Myspace, which, I think, makes it legal. So hurry while it's still up there.

Also, I need two dollars. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/7996620/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/7996620/ Sat, 25 Feb 2006 06:35:56 PST
chekkit:
souls. lost forever in a sea breeze. and the trees. sprout from my veins and from my brains a lost pain my breasts a new plain- green and yellow fields and time yields the essence of life and in a moment of strife bury yourself six feet under. and wonder: what if the world depended on your deterioration. the new verb's a beautiful creation. become part of the earth i wanted to be since birth, playing in mud i knew i would live forever. spread my ashes on the hilltops and never. bury me in a big black box. with metal locks next to just bury me near the docks, stow away my body like a murder. i heard her when she said traditional, but what i said is fictional. i want to be buried six feet deep in no clothing. naw, this aint self loathing, it's my only wish. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/7963434/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/7963434/ Tue, 21 Feb 2006 15:05:16 PST your way. Cos this big black booty and this asian face ain't a disgrace like it is to your kind of race. We can no longer be friends, cos I can't pretend this doesn't bug me. I can't change the colour of my skin, so fuck me.
So let's talk about love over a four leaf clover dipped in tea. We'll talk about the hows the whys the yous the mes, and well, there ain't no we. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/7953918/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/7953918/ Mon, 20 Feb 2006 14:47:34 PST ]]> ~puppydawgkilla http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/7945700/ http://puppydawgkilla.deviantart.com/journal/7945700/ Sun, 19 Feb 2006 17:49:15 PST Today I had an interesting talk with Tyler's roommate Spencer. We had an interesting talk (redundance? Totally called for) about drugs and shit like that. Like, shrooms and acid and all this shit. But it's not like I'm going to do them. Well, nothing I want to post for the world to see on the internet.
Alls I know is, you only live once, and it shouldn't be in fear of anything. Not even death.
But death is far more worse than anything in this world, man. Like, you shouldn't fear rejection, cos you only live once. So if you get rejected man, there's like, other fish in the sea. But, I wanna be the one but I'm 999. Haha. If I was Chuck Norris, he'd be Bruce Lee. Fuck yeah man. Ninja Goon.
Couldja, wouldja wontcha be my ninja man. I'm just gonna go up to him and say, If you ever get mauled by a bear I hope he stays away from your face cos I think you're kind of cute. Hahaha. I crack myself up. A sloth says that, I think. Whatever, man. What the fuck ever.
I'm just having like, the best weekend of my life. I'm happy as fuck with the new liberty my parents have given me, and I'm going to take full advantage, but along with responsibility. It's true what they say in those commercials, about how your parent's words always sticking in the backside of your head. The last thing my mother said before I left the house on Saturday was "Be true to yourself." and I was, man. I truly was. ]]> ~puppydawgkilla