http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:qtsushigirl&section=today deviantART RSS for by:qtsushigirl en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:19:48 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/28519812/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/28519812/ Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:42:12 PST
I haven't used shampoo since April 2009.

I haven't used conditioner in a while and don't think I'll ever need it again.

"Ewe! Why??"

This method isn't for everyone, but it's perfect for people like me. Some people, like my little sister, have tried it simply because it's "the healthy thing to do" or saves a bit of money. They usually don't stick with it (my sister didn't either). I decided to go for it because I hated my hair care routine - HATED it.

I hated waking up in the morning with my roots so oily that it looked like I hadn't showered in days. I hated that I HAD to use shampoo or I couldn't possibly show myself in public because I looked so gross. I hated taking forever in the shower just to make sure that my shampoo is all rinsed out and waiting for the conditioner to set in before rinsing it out. I hated knowing that to get the "maximum effect out of my hair care routine" that I should do a weekly treatment. I hated how I had to get extra products to get my hair not to rest flat against my head or keep it from frizzing all over. I hated how there were a billion shampoos that all promised gorgeous hair but they all seemed the same to me. I hated how they smelled amazing in the bottles but you couldn't smell it 5 minutes after you got out of the shower. I hated traveling and worrying "oh no, what if my shampoo leaks all over my suitcase?". I ESPECIALLY hated how I always had a bit of dandruff no matter how many anti-dandruff shampoos I tried! Nothing worked! I HATE shampoo!

I was at college when I decided to go for it no matter what the cost. The first few times I went cold-turkey without research, and simply rinsed my hair out as well as I could each day. My hair was disgusting because it was still covered in wax buildup, meaning my oils were on the surface instead of moisturizing my hair like it should. I looked like death. I ended up shampooing my hair a few times before finally doing research.

After leaning about the no-poo method, I started doing baking soda rinses. I could have done apple cider vinegar rinses too but I justed used conditioner instead. After about 2 weeks of that, my hair felt different and got WAY dried out from the baking soda. Then I only did it once or twice a week, and after a few months I didn't need to use baking soda at all.

Now I don't put anything in my hair at all and I love it. I have natural volume and my hair is never oily. I'm considering seeing how long it takes for me to start to look nasty without rinsing out in the morning, but I love rinsing. It's soothing. I love showers so much more now. My hair has better control, I just warm it with the blow dryer and then style it before it cools. Once it cools it'll keep its shape. It's no longer frizzy or out of control in any way. It has natural shine and feels thick but soft. When I used shampoo, my hair was baby-thin and never felt right. I still get bits of dandruff here and there but it's not nearly as bad as before.

"Do you smell bad?"

I've asked friends and family to put their nose right in my hair and tell my honestly if I smell. Each one has said no. If I really want to smell nice, I put body spray or perfume into my hair and it stays fragrant all day. Shampoo never did that for me.

"Do you do weekly treatments?"

There are natural treatments I could do but I don't bother. My whole reason for doing this was to forget about my hair. Why should I worry about something as unimportant as my hair?

"Can you still straighten/curl it?"

Yep, every now and then I want to play with my hair and I straighten it. I admit I don't use anything to protect my hair but it doesn't seem to do as much damage to it as when I used shampoo, and I need a lower heat setting to get it to stay straight. No gel or hairspray needed.

"Will you ever use shampoo again?"

A lot of people say shampooing your hair is good for it. While I strongly disagree based on my own experience, I wouldn't mind doing it every once in a while if my hair seriously needed it. Otherwise, I have no desire to ever use anything but warm water in my hair ever again.

"What if someone barfed in your hair? Would you clean it then?"

Yes but I would use baking soda and conditioner.





Another fact: I haven't used facial soap in about 2 years now.

"Ewe! You don't wash your face?"

No, I wash it with warm water every morning, exfoliating it with my fingers.

"You HAVE to use soap!"

No, soap irritates my sensitive skin and many people don't use it on their face.

"Then you should see a dermatologist. They'll give you something that will work!"

No, I've seen several and each item they gave me just dried out my skin and made it more sensitive.
<... ]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/28354283/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/28354283/ Sat, 14 Nov 2009 13:24:41 PST
1. Beckett Dragonball Collector Quarterly Volume 1, Number 2, Super Saiyan Vegeta

[link]

2. Dragonball Movies and TV Specials #6

[link]

Happy collecting! <3

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/27806696/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/27806696/ Fri, 16 Oct 2009 22:11:59 PDT
I get an idea just as I turn off my light and pull my big fuzzy blanket over my shoulders. Those blankets get violently thrown off of me, the light gets switched back on, the idea is quickly jotted down and I finally get some sleep. The next day at work I'm imagining the image, transforming it and watching it evolve. It's brilliant! It's fun, new, unique, deep, and I can't wait to get home to make it!

At about 8 at night I'm back on my bed with my pile of computer paper clipped to a piece of thin wood, tapping the eraser end of my mechanical pencil on my lips again and again. I have just tried to draw the piece 10 times, and each time was wrong. I decide perhaps that I'm thinking too hard and just move on to the next step. The farther I get on the project, the more I hate it and wonder what's wrong with me. I've made paintings and drawings before that I've been quite happy with, what's wrong with me tonight?

I go to bed, hoping that when I see it tomorrow I'll love what I've made and wonder why I hated it so much the night before. No, the next morning it's as ugly as it was before. About a week goes by of thinking of the picture I want to make and failing a thousand times to make it how I want.

Then, suddenly, I'll remember some vital tips and lessons I've learned over the years from high school, college, artist friends, personal experience and online tutorials. I try them, and my artist block is lifted immediately and I'm cranking out artwork like a machine. Still, I can't help but scold myself for taking so long to remember those basic steps that I've relearned time and time again.

Why do I do this so often??

For whatever reason it takes me so long to remember "the basics", I need to make a list to refer to in the future:

1. The first step is the idea, composition, and/or design. Too often I'll sit down and try to make a beautiful picture on my first try. One of my art seminars taught me, and I strongly believe to be true, that we need to prepare before doing the final piece. That means sketching down ideas, variations, editing what needs to be fixed, having references, and putting it all together. When we start our final piece, we shouldn't have to do any thinking. That should be all done, sitting in a pile on the desk. The final piece is mere execution.

2. Speaking of references... use them! In my younger years I thought I'd be stealing somehow if I used a reference for anything. There's nothing illegal about it, and you can always give credit or ask permission if you feel uneasy about using a reference. It will help you see things that you can't just remember off the top of your head. You don't even have to copy them exactly how they are. They don't restrict you or make you less original or creative - use them!

3. Draw what you know looks good or correct. I'm a clone of my dad, and he validates himself by helping others to feel good. The bad thing about that is we're unintentional people-pleasers, and I hate it. It lands me in so much misery and trouble, it's such a pain! Still, I often overlook it as I start a project and ask myself "What do others want to see?" After hours of creating nothing worth anything, I finally decide, "I'll draw what I want!" and finally create something worth putting on the fridge. Sometimes I have to sacrifice my own taste because I know it's poor composition or using a different color scheme would be more effective, but for the most part I need to remember to be selfish when making art.

4. Just keep going. Simple as that. I look up art tutorials ALL THE TIME and too often assume it'll take me 5 minutes to do the same thing (there are too many good artists out there that make it look so easy!) and when it still needs work after an hour, I tend to get discouraged. What separates professionals from amateurs is the professional will keep fixing whatever isn't right until everything is right. Amateurs (takes one to know one) rationalize their failures with "That's just the way I drew it" or "It's good enough" or "I'd like to see you do better." Don't make excuses or think you suck just because this piece is taking a long time. Keep going!

5. Remember to have good posture. I might seem like a nagging mother but it's true, my posture affects my work! I don't have a desk at home so I'm just sitting on my bed hunched over my piece of paper. How a piece looks lying down, even if you're facing it straight on, looks very different than how it looks sitting up, such as if it was on your computer screen. That's why I've drawn something I thought was wonderful and then scanned it and gasped at the ugliness as soon as it came on the screen so many times. Sit up s... ]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/27735423/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/27735423/ Mon, 12 Oct 2009 21:12:00 PDT as a gift for my little brother Toby after seeing him cry after a fight with my little sister Sarah. Tonight after work when Mom was picking up my sister Keli from driver's ed, I was tucking Toby in for the night. I handed him the piece of paper and said "I drew you a picture. It's a brother and sister from a show I used to watch when I was little. "

Toby, who was a drug-abused baby, doesn't show many emotions other than anger. This means he rarely (almost never) ever says "I love you" or "thank you" or gives you a big sweet smile. He's usually either totally plain or raging in anger.

As I watched him try to get the picture to somehow sit up in a visible spot, however, I thought it was better than a "thank you". Even more surprisingly, when I bent down to give him a kiss "gooodnight" he turned his head toward me and accepted the kiss right on his lips.

I love that little guy.

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For those who design, create and maintain websites: I don't know how you do it all. Where do you find the time and energy?? I will get it done, I just need to focus right now on working and earning money for my last year of college. I only have about 6 more months and I need to earn (hopefully) about $8,000-10,000.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/26872482/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/26872482/ Fri, 28 Aug 2009 09:03:44 PDT [link]

I met the artist on plentyoffish.com and while we never met in person (sorry !) it was still so much fun to find that she had a page on DA and her own webcomic! I think it's HILARIOUS and totally out of this world, unlike any other comic ever made with characters never imagined before. A crayon and a banana who are best friends. Come on, things don't get much more original than that. I love her wacky sense of humor, give it a read!

P.S. My Democratic friends might especially love this one: [link]

P.S.S. I recently decided that my imagination never gives me anything because I never put anything into it. I sold almost every comic I had before moving to college, and so I came back to a few X-Men comics and my DBZ manga collection. If I really want to get the wheels in my head turning, I gotta get reading more material! Watch movies! Read novels! No more just sitting around WAITING for inspiration to come. Inspiration is not some butterfly that'll land on my shoulder! It's a pretty rock I find after digging in the backyard for a while. ....OK, I think that's all the cheesy analogies I have in me today.

P.S.S.S. This is another huge favorite of mine from the Americrayon comic: [link]

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/26843386/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/26843386/ Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:36:54 PDT
I stumbled upon [link] just now. It looks like a very nice place to get art-related freelance work! What happens is the buyer who needs an artist posts the project they need to get done and then the artists interested in doing that project bid on what they would charge to do that project. The testimonials all seem very positive for this site, I'm considering getting an account. It costs a tiny bit of money to join so I want to make sure I'd have time to dedicate to doing a project if I get hired. I'm still waiting to hear if I got another part-time job I interviewed for. :/

Thanks for reading and best of luck to all my struggling starving artists out there!


***ANOTHER UPDATE***

There are sites like yessy.com and etsy.com that let you sell your work online. They are both rather popular websites, it's just a matter of people being able to find you. Hence, advertise yourself everywhere you can. Have a link to your etsy or yessy stores on your facebook, gaia, myspace, blog, deviantart and more. Twitter is a great way to let your friends know that you just put your art online for sale.

Threadless.com sells t-shirts, and if they choose one of your designs you can get paid a nice amount of money. Some artists have been chosen more than once and have made a nice bundle. Submit some designs, what have you got to lose? Try cafepress.com too! Remember to advertise!

I just put up an auction on ebay to be hired for a commission. I just put up 3 examples of what I would be willing to do for the winning bidder (3 watercolor paintings) and started the bidding at $20 to make sure I'm not doing it for dirt cheap. Posting it cost me $0.25, so if no one bids then I haven't lost much. If you look at the completed listings, a lot of those commissions go for a good amount. Give it a try!

I think you guys here on DA are super talented and can make a lot of clients happy if they just found you. Show the world what you've got!



***UPDATE***

Turns out my computer looks pretty bad, it could be more than just a virus. It's pretty old, could just be the end of its road. Whatever happens, I just hope to get all my information back. A friend mentioned "backing up your files". Is that done online? With a huge jump drive? How can I do that in the future?

Thanks for the help!

*****************************

Hi friends! My daddy helps small businesses grow (works for the state), and so gets to meet a lot of people. He recently discovered through one of his clients that there are sites such as [link] which allow artists to submit artwork to them, and every time a company or business purchases the picture then the artist gets paid a commission fee. I'm not sure of how much you get paid, but if you browse around the pictures on that site you can see that some have been purchased/downloaded thousands of times. No matter what the pay, that has got to add up.

If anyone needs some extra cash (over a long period of time, of course) then give that a try. My dad said that there are tons of other websites like that too, so you have lots of options and lots of ways to have potential customers see your work!

FYI: Even though it's called istockphoto, they accept artwork of all variations of media. I personally will be submitting watercolor paintings if I decide to give it a go.

Tip: Look at which pictures get the most business or are downloaded the most by businesses to give you clues as to what people are looking for.

***PERSONAL UPDATES***

I got to hang out with my little sister Keli, and in Seattle yesterday. Loads of fun! Poor Keli was terrified of Fooray at first, I thought it was hilarious. She soon came to realize that he's a total teddy bear though. :3

On a sadder note, my laptop has been in the laptop hospital (aka someone's house until he fixes it for me) since Friday. What happened to it, you ask? I was stupid and was trying to download Pokemon games!! I got a horrible virus that was beyond my abilities to repair. From now on I'll just cop out the money to play my games legally. I miss my laptop so much!!!

Thank goodness for my family's computer. It's been slow for a l... ]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/26587638/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/26587638/ Fri, 14 Aug 2009 10:53:07 PDT [link] just now and seeing how it differed from the English translated version, and I noticed some very important things:

1. First of all, the flashback of how King Vegeta died and how Planet Vegeta was destroyed is being told by Frieza, meaning how he remembered it could be false!!! He could have tweaked a few things to intimidate or bother Vegeta (because he loves to torture his little play toy). When it's over Vegeta says "That's bull!", meaning he didn't believe Frieza's version was totally accurate. He's not arguing that Frieza didn't kill them, he just thinks Frieza edited his memory a bit to his liking. I guess it's up to us individually to decide what was true and what Frieza made up. I hate how they do this to us!! I want to know!!

2. In Frieza's flashback, King Vegeta and Zorn have a little conversation. In the English translation, Zorn says "I'd rather die than hand over the prince to Frieza!" and King Vegeta replies, "Me too, but we have no choice!" Reading the subtitles in the Japanese version, however, Zorn simply asks, "Are you really going to hand your son over?" Vegeta replies "It doesn't matter to me if my son lives or dies, I just hate that Frieza!" While Frieza could have lied about what King Vegeta said, it very well could have been true since it sounds like the "Saiyan thing to say". Prince Vegeta seemed to have a lot of love and respect for his father though, so would he have feelings for his father if his father didn't give a care about him?

3. When Vegeta told Frieza "That's bull!" about his flashback, he continues "If you were really afraid of us Saiyans, simply blowing up Planet Vegeta would be a completely fruitless measure. I'm right, aren't I? I mean, you let me survive, after all!" But then he silently thinks to himself "Not to mention Kakkarot..." This stood out to me because he's acknowledging that Goku certainly is strong. The English version gave me the idea that Vegeta always believed Goku was weak, stupid and an unworthy opponent and he only threatened him with defeating him some day as a means of just getting him out of his hair, like a pesky fly. This shows a side to Vegeta that the English version cuts out, methinks.

So there you have it, the flashback that I've always relied upon as the actual end of King and Planet Vegeta could be skewed slightly or completely, King Vegeta may or may not have felt the same attachment to his son that Prince Vegeta felt (whether he admitted it or not), and Vegeta was not oblivious at all to Goku's strength and potential as I previously thought.

Thank you for putting up with me and my fangirliness.

I can't believe I used to think Trekkies were so weird when I was younger. I can't say that I'm too different from them.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/26133780/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/26133780/ Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:10:40 PDT
I SHOULD make a journal ranting about what a terrible semester I had thanks to a horrible room mate of mine, but no. I have something else that I want to talk about instead:

There's this new fashion trend where women pluck or bleach their eyebrows entirely so it looks like they don't have them.

I can see why some people would like it. It can make even the most slender eyes look larger and innocent, making the face look more blank and emotionless than botox ever could. It certainly does have its strengths on the cat walk.

However, it doesn't look good on all the celebrity photos I found that had their eyebrows digitally removed. It's certainly only meant for certain lucky people who can look amazing without something as beautiful as their eyebrows. I can easily assume only 1% of all of America falls into that category, and I fear many of the other 99% are going to try it anyway and frighten little children everywhere.

I personally love my bushy eyebrows and do not plan on following this trend any time soon.

What do you think of this trend? Is it stupid? Beautiful? Clever? Innovative? Culturally influenced (other cultures have been doing this for centuries)? Meant only for the cat walk? Another form of body mutilation? Too form-changing (eyebrows make a HUGE difference!)? Tell me!

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/26016603/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/26016603/ Fri, 17 Jul 2009 22:48:59 PDT
I had a force in my life that I thought was so big and was hurting me so bad. I cried and cried over it last night and wanted so bad to hurt the person who hurt me. I said a prayer asking for help, and inspiration flooded into my mind to approach the person in humility and kindness and offer to let them have their way. I did so, and even though the person still reacted selfishly, I felt I did a good thing. I felt like a coward for a while but now I'm relieved.

Someone I love had a force come their way today that was horrible for them too. They were hurt beyond hurt too and wanted to hurt the attacker too.

If I had acted on my feelings and bit my attacker's head off, I wouldn't have felt I was in a position to give my beloved friend any good advice.

We both approached our attackers with love and humility in the end. We're both still hurt but the storms around us are starting to calm a little. At least we didn't add to it.

I felt that was another lesson for me about how we are prepared for tomorrow through our trials that we have today.

More than anything, I thank my Father for showing me just how small my own situation really was. I couldn't see that when I was only focusing on myself. I'm not afraid any more.

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My little cousins thinks very highly of me, it seems. One especially touched me this family reunion. I had no idea I had any such influence over anyone. She told me I was everything I thought I wasn't: Talented, kind, calm, positive, beautiful, a good friend, and much more. I needed that so bad. I've been very discouraged this year. I'm happy with what little success I have just knowing that my family thinks the world of me.

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Sorry for no comments lately guys. One week of school left and then I'll be back to being more active on DA. :3

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P.S.

Dear friend: I hope you know you did wonderfully. It wasn't because of your medication, it wasn't because I encouraged you to hold back, it was because you are wonderful and stronger than any monster on your back.

You've inspired me to make a story/comic that I hope will help those suffering with the same monsters.

If it's still hard then hang in there. It's nothing you can't handle. You're stronger than you know - by far.

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]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/25196477/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/25196477/ Mon, 08 Jun 2009 11:44:14 PDT
I'm just doing portraits from photos for now since they're relatively easy for me and so I know I'll get them done quickly (no making you wait around forever). If you REALLY want something else though, please let me know! If you'd like me to modify it to resemble a character I can easily do that.

Examples:



Colored pencil/graphite/lead head shot - $20



Digital art with tablet, black and white or colored - $20

Slots:

1. Open
2. Open
3. Open

Please feel free to note me with any questions.

I accept payment through paypal.com (sushigirl_@hotmail.com). I'll begin work once I receive payment and will try to get each piece done within 2 weeks. I can send you a scanned copy or digital copy for free. If you'd like the signed finished copy sent to you (original traditional or a print of the digital piece), please include $5 shipping and handling. If you'd like a refund I will keep $10 if I have already started on it, or I'll send you a full refund if I haven't started yet.

Thank you everyone!

P.S. It would make a great Father's Day gift!

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/25113707/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/25113707/ Wed, 03 Jun 2009 19:07:55 PDT
We all see it and start screaming. Julie and I are running around screaming "What do we do?? What do we do??" while Alecia keeps blowing on it like the Big Bad Wolf which made it bigger.

I finally get the idea "Get a pot lid!!" so I run to my room frantically to get one (my cooking stuff is in a box) and Julie didn't know what to do so she followed me. Alecia is in the kitchen trying to find lids and can't find one.

By the time I get back into the kitchen with my spiffy lid Alecia had thrown water over the fire and it went out instantly. The dorm was filled with smoke. As we opened the windows and door I tell them "The smoke detector didn't go off. If that fire wasn't contained in the stove burner, we'd all die!" and just then it went off and was ridiculously loud.

Now we're all joking about how we all handled it. They teased how if a building was on fire I'd grab a lid and be like "I'll save you!!!!". We're teasing how Alecia thinks she's the Big Bad Wolf, how Elizabeth can't pour pasta into a giant pot, and how Julie runs away when frightened.

Hoo boy, I feel so alive now. *shakes in my chair*

Alecia's telling me how when I went to my room to get the lid she was like "Where are you going?!?! Don't leave me alone with the fire!"

Now I want a t-shirt with a picture of me holding a lid saying "I'll save you!" Julie also suggested "All this for a pot of noodles".

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/24892122/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/24892122/ Fri, 22 May 2009 14:42:20 PDT
[link]

[link]

[link]

[link]

I've been working on it so far from about 11 in the morning until now, about 4 in the afternoon. Oh yeah, I'm little miss speedy.

Expect more!

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I'm going home for the weekend and I have no homework to worry about for once! I'm so happy!! *boogies down*

I'll get to visit my beloved and along with an old high school friend I haven't seen in about 6+ years, Stacey! *happy happy*

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/24823975/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/24823975/ Mon, 18 May 2009 14:38:42 PDT I'd prefer to do a portrait from a photo since that's been my focus lately.

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In art history we're studying the classical artists like Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo. I find it so funny that none of the Ninja Turtles fit the artists they were named after too well (besides Donatello maybe since the artist created a new way of sculpting which innovated the art of sculpture, but when it comes to inventors and brains Leonardo the artist takes the cake). It's interesting that the creators didn't give the same personalities as the artists to the Ninja Turtles, or maybe they purposely just switched them around?

If they were to have the personalities of the artists they were named after, Mikey and Raph would switch names and Donny and Leo would switch names. I'm not sure of what personality Donatello the artist had but he's much more similar to Leonardo in the sense that he's more of a leader figure to the other 3 artists for innovating how sculpture can look much more life-like with solid bodies beneath the drapery (using the wet cloth technique). He was one of the handful of early Renaissance artists who paved the way for the better known ones such as Leonardo, Michelangelo and Raphael.

Donatello the turtle is practically the reincarnation of Leonardo da Vinci, the man who wanted to know everything. Donny is a bit better at focusing on a single task, though, and builds most of what he thinks up, whereas Leonardo da Vinci had severe ADD and rarely stuck to a single passion for too long and made many plans for inventions but wasn't known to create any of them. However, a documentary I recently saw built them and found that they all worked and were absolutely amazing and pure genius.

Michelangelo the artist was the most hot-headed, short-tempered, self-absorbed artist perhaps to ever exist. He lived in the same time as Leonardo and Raphael and thought it was insulting that they considered themselves artists. He felt he had invented perfection through his work, never afraid to argue to the death with his patrons when they said they'd like some changes to be made the the work they hired him to make.

Raphael the artist was quite a genius in his own right but was quite a friendly man. He and the personality-of-a-rock Michelangelo were not on good terms, but as soon as he saw the Sistine Chapel Michelangelo had created he immediately returned to his finished painting of the "School of Athens", chiseled out a part of the fresco and painted a portrait of Michelangelo as a tribute to him and his work. He included his friends and relatives in much of his work, representing historical figures like Plato, Aristotle and Socrates. He died at a young age (before age 40) from a short-term illness which his body may have been too weak to fight off since he was such a party animal and perhaps a heavy drinker.

I've always wanted to know if the Ninja Turtles fit the artists they were named after and now, at the age of 22, I know the answer is "no, but they can if you switch them".

Are Oroku Saki or Omato Yoshi named after anyone? :/

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/24531423/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/24531423/ Fri, 01 May 2009 13:54:11 PDT
{Edit: Dangit the link keeps getting messed up each time I put it here so just go to youtube.com and type into the search "Cincinnati's Masked Super Hero" }

I wish these guys well, hope they stay out of any serious danger and are able to fulfill their dreams of helping others.

You may think I'm a dork for thinking positively of such people but I do. I don't know if their way is the best way to fight crime but I feel they're serious about wanting to help. If I was super strong, knew all the laws very well, and perhaps had some awesome gizmos and gadgets like Batman I think I would join them.

Yes, I'm crazy. Shaddup.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23897049/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23897049/ Thu, 26 Mar 2009 09:55:53 PDT
I just typed out the whole story but then saw how long it was and decided to summarize:

One day in high school I felt wonderful and decided I didn't care what anyone thought of me and I even put my hair up in pony tails. I got to school and found some girl I wasn't even friends with was accusing me of some stupid think I shouldn't have even cared about.

I got up and pulled the ponies out of my hair as I walked to the bathroom where I bawled for an hour.

Ever since then, I've felt that no matter how much I TELL myself that I don't care what others think of me, deep inside I actually do care way more than I want to.

So thank you to everyone who gave me such good advice about not caring what others think about me but in my past experience I seriously think I'm hardwired to care whether I want to or not. I've tried before to stand my ground and tell the other person that it's not my fault they're angry at me and I just got my head bitten off.

While it's good that I rarely ever accuse anyone of of anything and I accept responsibility and punishments for my bad behavior, I know it's bad I accept blame that was never mine to begin with. That could be one of the reasons I have 5 gray hairs at the age of 22.

Don't get my wrong though, I would LOVE to grow a spine. But how do you stop being the person you've been all your life? It's not even a personality thing, it's a natural reaction that I feel is out of my control.

When people tell me I'm sweet I'm always tempted to laugh and tell them "Naw, I just have no fight response" (in regards to "fight or flight").

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23841863/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23841863/ Mon, 23 Mar 2009 00:04:18 PDT
I took my youngest sister and grandma to the store early Friday morning but my ankle was swollen and hurting and so I promised to take my sister to another store later. Of course, she never forgets a promise and reminds me of it several times until I finally put my laptop away and take her and grandma to a store where I used to work. My old manager saw me there and said I still had a paycheck there from before I went to college and she gave it to me. Another manager also told me he really enjoyed having me as an employee and would love to hire me again when I get back from college in July.

I went home to get my other check so I could deposit them both and I found it in the pile of papers but something told me to keep looking so I did and found a letter addressed to "Master Toby". Apparently it was from my adopted little brother's biological grandma with photos and letters from his biological siblings (a boy who is just like him and 3 sisters, one close to my age named Becky who wants to go into medicine which I tried to go into before going into art). They were all very sweet and said things like "I'm glad you're with the family you're with. We miss you a lot and think of you every day. I hope to meet you some day." I thought that was amazingly sweet. We've had Toby since he was a few days old (he was abandoned in the hospital) and he's never met his biological family so it was wonderful to finally learn about them. Mom told me it meant the world to Toby to finally hear from them. He had been asking about them for a year.

I got to spend the whole weekend with my and it was so much fun to see how well she blended into my family, they just ate her up and loved being with her. It was a very busy weekend with all sorts of overwhelming factors and I was tired and stressed so it was nice to have her there with me.

My nephew was there over night so I got to spend some extra time with him. He didn't seem to remember me at first, but then I played with him a bit and he seemed to like me again. He was getting fussy so I gave him to my mom to feed him, and as he saw me walking away he screamed at the top of his lungs so my mom handed me him and his food and let me feed him. Faux watched me feed him yogurt (which consisted of him getting it all over his face and hands since he demanded to use the spoon himself) and just cringed at the mess. The little tyke was hilarious, very independent and demanding just like his dad (my big brother). He slept on my shoulder through most of church, I just loved it.

A few sad things happened as well though. I won't get into that though since I'm trying to not talk poorly of others so often, but I'll mention one since it's mostly about me: My 3 biological (oldest) siblings and I all went to the same junior high and high schools, and had a lot of similar teachers. I realized today that when I was that age I had severe depression and was socially delayed (like... not just shy, but I didn't know how to act in public). I looked at my big brother and little brother and sister tonight and saw how social, friendly, extroverted and lovable they all are. I asked them, "Does anyone ever make the connection that I'm your sister?" They said they can always tell that the other 3 are related, but no one ever could tell that I was related to them too.

As I sat here trying to settle down before going to sleep, I thought about how badly I wish I could show those who knew me as an emo teenager that I have grown and changed and now have all sorts of love and light in me, that I can be very similar to my beloved siblings, but I feel they'll only remember me as "that girl". It's not the label I hate, it's that I only showed them my sad and angry side when there's so much more of me that I want them all to know. I shed a few tears wishing I could go back and redo all those terrible years. I feel bad for all the people I bothered. Ben, Jon and Keli make others laugh non-stop. I made others feel awkward and uncomfortable.

As much as I'm glad I had that experience and all it taught me, I wish I was a little better at slapping on a smile every morning. I've never been one to hide my feelings though, hahaha. I wear my heart on my sleeve (not my thoughts... not that I have any to begin with).

Tomorrow I tell my little brother and best friend goodbye for the next 2 years. Wish me luck, I've always hated goodbyes with a passion because people are my favorite things in life that make it exciting, wonderful and worth living.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23406485/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23406485/ Sun, 01 Mar 2009 13:16:42 PST

***There is something wrong with DA or the internet, I'm not sure what, but I'm unable to see my inbox or any messages here on DA, and ONLY on DA. Every other site is just fine. I've contacted the technology help desk and the DA staff. Please be patient, I will respond to my messages as soon as DA works for me again.***

I've finally decided to get them! I want to practice digital art and take my own photos for reference for my work to avoid all sorts of copyright problems.

To help pay for them I'm taking commissions! My goal is $100. I'll be taking $5 commissions (finished drawings) and $10 commissions (watercolor paintings/colored pencils).

I will do:
*original characters
*fan art
*up to 2 characters per drawing/painting
*simple backgrounds (a few buildings, not a whole city)
*fantasy creatures (ranging from cute to monsters)

I will not do:
*anything inappropriate (porn, smut, dead babies, etc.)
*anything I consider to be more time than it's worth (horribly complicated, way too much detail, etc.)

I just got done with a big exam and 2 art projects so I have some time to do some work on the side!

I'm really excited to take commissions again after I get my own tablet and camera. I can't wait to use digital art again! I think now that I have a better grasp on traditional media, I may understand how to use digital media better than before.

SLOTS

$5 commissions (pencil drawing, edited on the computer to look like ink):

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

$10 commissions (watercolor painting/colored pencil)

1. - complete, sent
2. - payment received, sketching
3. My friend Hayley - awaiting payment
4.
5.

To contact me please leave a message here or note me. I'll get to work as soon as I receive payment. I only accept payment through paypal. Please make sure to mention which type of media you'd like me to use.

Thanks everyone!

*UPDATE*

If you'd like to purchase the actual drawing/painting (ordering a commission is different than buying the actual piece) then I'll charge twice as much as it cost to have it commissioned (drawings will cost $10 and paintings/colored pencil works will cost $20) and I'll charge $2 for shipping. Include it in the note if you'd like to own your commission.

Ex: Say you'd like a drawing and for it to be sent to you. It'll be $5 for commissioning me in the first place, then an additional $10 to purchase the actual drawing itself, and $2 for the shipping = $17.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23362375/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23362375/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 12:36:23 PST
His page is here:

And our conversation can be found here: [link]

Don't flame him or anything, I just want to share the love. I think he's hilarious.

Poor Fooray.

is the bestest dorm mate ever. She makes my life bright and vivid. And has helped me learn to laugh at the crap that flies our way in life. Crap like . J/K, he's our new best friend.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23289557/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23289557/ Thu, 19 Feb 2009 13:48:18 PST
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

UPDATE: The follow-up interview was nice. The girl sure is fun to talk to. We pretty much quickly talk about the business stuff and then have a normal conversation.

Turns out the company is leaning towards someone else for the logo BUT they would like to offer something else to me that involves me doing a type of illustration. Sweet! I can do that! I love drawing WAY more than doing logos! That was WONDERFUL news to hear. Still gotta interview all the students who applied though. Either way, I'm so glad I'm putting myself out there.

As for the teacher who wants a logo for his wife's preschool, he's just chatting with the Mrs. and they'll let me know for sure if they want to work with me soon. Again, either way, I'm glad I'm practicing self-advertisment and applying for jobs. That's what I'll have to do the rest of my life, why not start now?

My poor painting for my Intro to Illustration class is taking quite a beating. I kept messing up and then my room mate accidentally spilled soda on it. I picked it up, shook it off, laughed and kept working. Considering it's been messed up on in every possible way, it's looking quite nice! I can't wait to post it, I'm really proud of it. It's also an example of how I've learned to keep going even through the hard times. I SHOULD have given up on it a long time ago but no - I want this painting! X3

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UPDATE: The interview went very well, the girl was very nice. I'll be getting a callback today to see if she wants to see me tomorrow.

Even if I don't get that job, she helped me feel a lot better so I took another job offer to make a logo for a local professor's wife's new preschool.

***********************************************

You may recall this former journal [link] . To be honest, I was just trying to be positive. It was a classic case of me getting totally screwed and trying to smile about it. Now that I have hindsight, I realize that possible client was horribly flaky and very confusing. Long story short, she treated me more like some new friend she could tell her life story to than a possible employee. She would talk my ear off about her projects and how her day was going, then I would mention something business-wise or about the job and she'd freak out and remind me time and time again that I wasn't hired YET, no matter how many times I told her that I was aware of that. I think I was more serious about the project than she was. I invested a LOT of time and energy into making the drawings and painting for her, and in the end she gave me some REALLY lame excuses for not hiring me. I'm not even cocky or self-absorbed... I am telling you, they were stupid excuses.

Anyway, I pretty much forced myself to forget about it but perhaps it's still scarred me in some way that I didn't notice.

I was looking for a temporary job online and found someone was looking for an artist to make a logo for a new company. I've done that work a little before and so I applied online. I got an email telling me to call this girl to set up an appointment for an interview, so I did. She explained that the company was HUGE... like, not some dinky little shop down the corner. No, this is gonna be something that works for the government/NASA/military. I set up a time, thanked her and hung up. As the day went on, the magnitude of this job really sank in and I started to really doubt myself. I told myself last night "I'll call her tomorrow and cancel... I can't do this."

I had my Abnormal Psychology class today and we're on the chapter about stress and its influences on health. Our teacher told us a story about a study done on dogs which developed the "Learning Helplessness" theory. They kept the dogs in cages and shocked them repeatedly, and they had no way to escape. Then they were put in a place where they could escape, but the dogs just laid there and took the shocks anyway. Stupid me, the whole time I was thinking "Ooh! I should tell this story to this and this and this person and tell them to never give up!"

I went home and called the lady and told her the job was too advanced for me and I'... ]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23046399/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23046399/ Fri, 06 Feb 2009 18:21:25 PST
Me: Hello?
Keli: Beka, Jon is the meanest brother in the world!
Me: Why? What did Jon do?
Keli: OK so I was at school helping to move the piano all around and I got really sweaty and dirty so I go home to take a shower and I look in my closet to get some clothes and they're ALL GONE. I looked in my drawers and everything - my clothes were gone!! Jon took them all and hid them!!
Me: OH MY GOSH THAT'S HILARIOUS!
Keli: NO IT'S NOT! IT'S MEAN!
Me: Why would Jon do that?
Keli: I dunno... I guess it has something to do with me wearing his hoodie or something...
Me: How many times did he ask you not to wear it?
Keli: ... I dunno...
Me: A lot?
Keli: That's not the point! What he did was mean!
Me: Well, sometimes it's hard to get you to take us seriously so maybe this is the only way to let you know that we're serious...
Keli: Whatever! It's still not fair!
Me: Can I talk to Jon?
Keli: No! You didn't side with me!
Me: I'm not choosing sides, I just think you really need to have big wake-up calls to get you to realize what we're trying to tell you-
Keli: Whatever!! Here's Jon!
Me: My point exactly...
Jon: Hey Beka, was that awesome or what?
Me: YOU are awesome, Jon. That was the coolest things I've ever heard of.
Jon: Yeah, I always told her I'd get her back for stealing my hoodie all the time and I finally thought of how!
Me: And I say the punishment fit the crime beautifully.


That made me happy, I was kinda... not bummed out, but thinking rather negatively.

Old memories have been filling my head today. In high school I was the artist for the Junior homecoming t-shirts and posters. I was excited for it, just thrilled! I went to my daily meetings with the student counsel to hear what they wanted me to draw for them, and they only sat for hours talking about all their ideas, each one becoming more absurd and crazy than before. It was the day before the t-shirt designs were due and they still hadn't decided what they wanted me to draw, so I quickly drew something as well as I could and tried to incorporate all their wacky ideas into it. When they got printed I overheard quite a few complaints that it was ugly and nothing compared to the Sophomore and Senior t-shirts. I agreed. It was terrible.

There have been too many accounts to number of times when I had promised a drawing or comic to a friend and I worried so much about pleasing them that I forgot to make sure that *I* liked it and it turned out to be 2 months late or just plain ugly.

With all those memories echoing in my head, I realize I really need to focus on making things that I enjoy looking at. Even if someone gives you something they want drawn, you can still fit it to your liking and still give them what they want. It doesn't restrict you, it just gives you a direction to go in.

Then there's the hard part: How do I know if I like my own work when I'm so horribly self-critical?

So much to learn, and "only one road I'm walking, only one lifetime, one heart to guide me" (Celine Dion).

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23036469/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/23036469/ Fri, 06 Feb 2009 08:22:26 PST
Wow, school sure is giving me tough skin. If I were any younger I would have taken this way too personally and cried about it. Instead I find myself happy that someone was willing to give me a chance at all and that I got this far. Hooray for maturing!

I have a student loan still available for me so I'm gonna be just fine next semester.

Wow, I suddenly feel like I have tons of free time on my hands! What am I gonna do with it all? ...*looks at art and psychology homework screaming my name in the corner*...

Thanks to everyone who was supporting me and cheering me up when I was getting nervous about getting hired. Everything turned out for the better I think, and I'm still excited to go into this field when I graduate.



]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22640118/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22640118/ Sat, 17 Jan 2009 19:21:18 PST
About 6 months - 1 year ago my little brother Jon (~age 18 at the time) and I were in the garage talking. "With all the remodeling going on downstairs I thought we could OHMYGOSHTHERE'SABIRD!!" and I pointed to the corner where a bird was perched on something. I grabbed my old hamster cage, opened the door and tried to lure the little bird into it so I could release it outside.

Jon chimes in, "Wouldn't it be nice if we could just catch it with a pokeball?"

"Too bad that's not really a choice... Come here, little birdie..." but the darn thing didn't budge.

"Stupid bird." Jon said.

"Don't call it stupid you meanie! Come on birdie... please come... pleasey please..." I pleaded, but it flew to the back of the garage.

"This wouldn't be a problem if we had a pokeball," Jon stated blatantly.

"Enough with the pokeballs Jon! Oh stupid me!" I say and open up the garage car doors.

The bird flew to yet another part of the garage.

"Stupid bird!! It's wide open!" I shouted.

"Oh, sure, when *I* call it stupid, it's a crime!" Jon said.

The bird finally flew out the garage doors. I shut them immediately and we walked upstairs.

"I'm gonna invent the first real life pokeball! I have discovered my life's mission!" Jon kept saying as we walked up the stairs.

"Oh Jon..." I couldn't help but laugh.

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Question for DBZ fans:

2 of my favorite characters, Tien and Choatzu, are obviously aliens of some sort and I keep reading that they're at LEAST of alien descent. Anyone have any information on that or any fun fanfics that talk about that subject? I'd like to know more about them. I'm sure it would all be based on ideas from fans though. I've read all the manga, seen all the episodes and movies and if I didn't hear or read anything about them then it's not in the series. Still, I'd like to know what others think! Let me know!

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22600469/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22600469/ Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:06:20 PST
I have SO much to do and I feel like I'm not getting anywhere with anything! I keep finding problems with my techniques and media. My current problem is that it is VERY hard for me to include small details in my work when I water color. I figured using colored pencils FIRST on the water color paper to define the small details, followed by putting the water colors over that second, would be a good idea. I just finished putting down the colored pencils in gray scale, and I'm gonna paint it after I give myself a break.

So does anyone have any other suggestions for having excellent control over your water colors to the point where you can add lots of small detail? I'm talking like... individual strands of hair here.

AND would I be wasting my time to see if I could do this technique on Bristol board paper instead of water color paper to see if that would decrease all the white bumps I get when I use colored pencils on my water color paper? I purchased a few prismacolor pencils today in hopes that they'll blend onto the paper easier. My art teacher also said using baby oil on pencils makes the blend well. That might interfere with the water colors though.

AND does anyone have any really good links to any perspective tutorials just to jog my memory? I learned all about it in my last art class but that was months ago.

Thank you so much for your help!!

Current projects:

-Void comic, due in about 12 days I think
-Illustrations for client
-Homework for Introduction to Illustration, Art History, Personality Psychology and Abnormal Psychology

Wish me luck!

P.S.

Sorry another question: Has anyone here ever used that artist tape? It's brown and gets sticky when it's wet. I was taught to use it to stretch my paper when I paint. I like it, but taking it off is SUCH a hassle. My teachers told me "Just get it wet and it'll come off" like it was nothing. I totally soak that darn tape when I'm done and it still comes off the paper in pieces, often damaging my paper.

Hence I'm going back to just using good old fashioned regular tape and not stretching my paper. BUT if any of you have a good suggestion for getting that darn artist tape off easier, I'd be so happy to hear!

Thank you!

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22546861/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22546861/ Mon, 12 Jan 2009 16:06:24 PST
Even if the pay is bad or she never actually publishes it, this is a GREAT experience for me, especially considering that I'm still a student (3 semesters from graduating) and so young (22). It's gonna look great on my resume.

I just gotta be careful and pace myself. I have my art projects for Introduction to Illustration, my void comic with , and now this possible job. I do have 4 other classes but they're mostly just reading, that shouldn't be too bad.

Wish me luck!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Some funny recent stories:

-One of my 3 dorm mates was showering. We heard her sing some sort of really high note (we later found out she dropped her soap and shrieked), so Brynn and I went up to the bathroom door and started singing opera songs to her.

-I had to do some painting for my first art project when I realized I didn't have a plastic/disposable cup I could use to hold water. I was eating my fruit that came in a plastic cup. While still holding the cup I wondered, "Where am I gonna find a cup? I don't wanna have to go out a buy one... there MUST be one here SOMEWHERE..." then I finished my fruit and tossed the cup into my trash. A moment later I looked in the trash, gasped, picked up the cup and went, "YAY!! A cup!! Where did you come from??" A few minutes later I realized my amazing observation skills.

-For my Personality Psychology class we studied Freud for our first chapter. Our teacher warned up we'd have a discussions before the quiz today. It turns out he wanted to make sure we understood what type of person Freud was, so he asked our class, "If Freud was the teacher, how would he have you all do this quiz?" All the smart students thought he'd have free association, or throw the girls out since he thought they were stupid, or all sorts of other things that have to do with his theories. I then realized he was looking for a certain answer, and it was almost time for class to end. I finally raised my hand and said, "He was never interested in helping his patients. He just wanted to explore psychology and make theories. If he was our teacher, he would hand us our tests like any other teacher and watch us wither in pain as we battle between our Id, Superego, unconscious and conscious throughout the test. Then he'd enjoy watching us think of ways to repress the memories of taking this terrible test." My teacher's face lit up and said, "YES! EXACTLY!" and handed me the first test.

Wow, I didn't know I could ever be smart! O_o

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22449577/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22449577/ Wed, 07 Jan 2009 10:15:14 PST so generously made this lovely piece for me!



I am TOTALLY stunned by it. I love the line art, the cross hatching, the composition (especially how the hair gently rolls), the shading, the value, my name on the bottom (LOVELY typography!)... it's all just so beautiful and I'm so flattered beyond flattered! It also helps me feel very pretty. I'm at a college where there are a lot of gorgeous Mormon girls so it's easy for me to feel second-best, but now I feel like a work of art.

Thank you so much, genruwox! This really means a lot to me!

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22359107/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22359107/ Fri, 02 Jan 2009 17:23:53 PST
I think this is especially hilarious because he is 6'4". Whenever he goes door-to-door, I think the natives are gonna be too scared to tell him they're not interested. I hope he learns the language well, I think he took a year or two in high school. It's not an easy language.

I'm all packed and ready to leave for BYU-Idaho. I can't believe it's time for me to leave already. Being at home was bitter-sweet for me (some nice times mixed with some high-drama disasters) so I'm both happy to get away and really sad to leave.

Not only will I have 12+ credits, but I'm gonna get a part-time job AND I have all my personal projects such as building my website. I'm gonna be busy as heck. But chances are, I'm gonna turn to DA for relaxation and fun whenever I can. Hopefully with some spiffy art assignments to post.

Oh goodness, you know what I'm gonna miss a LOT while I'm at college? My Dragonball Z manga. That's right, I'm leaving it at home. The airline I'm traveling on will only allow me to take one suitcase. I could take another with me for $25, but this is my first time without financial aid or a loan so I gotta squeeze every penny. My DBZ manga is such a huge comfort and inspiration for me. I'm really gonna miss it. My DBZ DVD's will have to do until I get back home. *watches Tree of Might*

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Wanna participate in a sketch raffle? [link]

Wanna help out a friend in need? [link]

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22266148/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22266148/ Wed, 31 Dec 2008 21:27:00 PST [link] Any other suggestions?

I might even just pay for one... they're usually like... $10/year?

Wish me luck on designing a layout, it'll be my first time.

***UPDATE***

Alrighty! I got my foot in the door thanks to for hosting me on her site and giving me the foundation for building a site and my Aunt Laura for showing me how to use HTML codes. Now, with that knowledge and help, I can build my own site from scratch pretty much. I tried today to get a blog page and edit it to appear as if it was myy own website and totally failed. Hence, I am all the happier to have an actual web *site* that I get to play with and call my own.

I'll send a link when it's up and running! Wish me luck!

*****UPDATE AGAIN*****

Oh yeah, happy new year everyone. I guess I should make a resolution. Hm, I didn't think about having one until just now. I guess it'll be the same as it was last year: Survive college. I can proudly say I succeeded well last year, hopefully I can do it yet again! I leave for college this Sunday. I can hear my 1-year old nephew and family playing Rock Band in the next room. Goodness I'm gonna miss them all, especially my little nephew.



]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22153289/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22153289/ Tue, 23 Dec 2008 23:37:44 PST
[link]

I don't know what's wrong with me, guys. I'm not in the Christmas spirit AT ALL. I'm not sad, goodness no. Life is good. :3 I have 2 great jobs (well, they have their quirks... will explain in a moment), a very sweet family and I'm going back to college soon where I know I'll be pushed to my limit but I'll still have a great time.

At both of my jobs, we have Christmas music playing constantly with customers always rushing in looking for Christmas gifts, and yet this entire month I haven't "felt" Christmas in the least bit. Maybe my family and I are just too busy? I dunno. Quite a few other deviants are experiencing the same lacking feeling too (according to their journals) so maybe it's some sort of virus going around? Either way, it makes me sad. I miss being a kid and having the Christmas feeling start on December 1st and last until New Years Eve. I don't think I'll truly realize that it's Christmas until I open my stocking (my favorite part!!).

So here's what I was hinting at a minute ago: For my job at the Dollar Tree, all I gotta do is clean for 4 straight hours about 4 days a week. I started out LOVING it since I like to clean, but now it's quite stressful. I work and work only to have my managers keep telling me that we're getting complaints about how messy the store is.

Who's to blame: YOU STUPID CUSTOMERS. You idiots have opened about half of our merchandise and left it on the floor for us to either throw away or tape up and put back (today one lady asked me if she could have an opened item... no, we can't do that, oh smart one. Then people would open stuff up and act like they didn't do it so they'd get it for free. We lose about $70 per day that way). Everyone lays stuff on the nearest counter when they don't feel like putting it back (I understand, I do it too) but you guys are doing it to over 80% of our merchandise! We can't keep up with you slobs!

So first of all, I'm getting sick of hearing that it's too messy when all we ever do is clean until our fingers bleed.

Second, sometimes we get some weird customers.

Today a lady walks up to me and asks "Do you know how to knit?"

"Yeah" I said without thinking. Well, then again, why should I fear letting someone know that?

She totally spazzed out, "You DO?? REALLY? Can you show me how to take the project off the needles?"

"Uh..." if I was an anime character, I would totally have a huge drop of sweat rolling down my face, "I'm in the middle of a HUGE cleaning project and I really gotta get it done, ma'am..." What the heck?? That's NOT in my job description!!

"Oh no, it's OK. I asked your manager. She told me to go ahead and ask around the store for anyone who knows, so it's OK with her. Just show me real quick."

So I showed the stubborn mule how to do it and she finally left me with my piles of bags to sort out. I kept thinking "I DON'T CARE what my manager says, I am not your slave!! If I don't want to do it then I don't have to! RAWR!!"

I totally should have just said that to her... dang I hate being a softie.

Silly, silly weirdos. Imbeciles. Morons (almost typed "Mormons" there... no offense to anyone, I AM a Mormon).

Thanks for putting up with my ranting, people normally don't ever bug me that much but today I was like "Get out of my hair!! I hate you all!! Just let me clean, PLEASE!!"

I sure do hope everyone feels the holiday spirit to some degree... it sure would suck to have a year without our favorite holiday just because we weren't in the mood.

Merry Christmas and all that good jazz, everybody.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22123366/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22123366/ Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:42:57 PST
Why not donate a dollar in a friend's name to get them some extra pageviews for this holiday season? It's a very thoughtful gift!

is in need (I think he'd rather not say all the details so I will respect that) and his good friend is doing all he can to help but he's only one person, he can't do it all.

If you have a paypal account and just one extra dollar you can spare, please send 100 pennies to help the cause in the link found in 's journal here [link] .

If we can get several people to donate one dollar, I know it'll add up. What I'll do in return is list all the deviants here who donated one dollar and I will look at their page every day until this cause is over (it could be a long time, so the pageviews are gonna add up too!). If you donate, please just note me or leave me a message and I will add you to the list. No need to give me proof, I will just take your word for it.

Then if you could, please add a link to this journal or 's page somewhere in your journal or on your page so we can help spread the word and at least let as many people know as possible that we have a friend in dire need. Even if they can't donate, I still believe in the power of prayers and good wishes.

Thank you all for reading!

DONATORS:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22071644/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/22071644/ Fri, 19 Dec 2008 22:49:39 PST
About 3 hours after working at Tall Girl, I went to my other job at the Dollar Tree. The instant I walk in there's a whole commotion going on about another employee. One cashier told me that this guy was stealing, only charging customers for about half of their purchases, and bringing weed to work.

"That one skinny black guy?" I asked. He nodded. About a week before I got my job there, he rung me up and only charged me for two out of the 7 items I bought. Of course I went back to pay for my full purchase, and he sort of had this annoyed look on his face. Still, I thought it was an honest mistake he made. Then I saw him scan one other customer's item and put 3 in the bag that he didn't scan. I still tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Honest to goodness, I wasn't afraid of turning him in. I just never thought that he was truly doing these things on purpose... somehow.

I know... stupid, right?

Just plain stupid.

That's how I felt for the first hour or so that I was working. As I was cleaning the isles, I kept thinking, "It's not a question of if I should be more hard-headed to protect myself from the world, it's a matter of me being a stupid naive little girl!" I thought of a comment someone wrote in my high school year book: "You're very sweet, but don't be naive". Naive... that word wouldn't stop screaming at me.

My co-worker, Mike, passed by me and said, "Hey Beka! How are you?" and I replied honestly (I'm not the one to slap on a smile if I'm sad), "It's been a depressing day, but I'm OK, thanks." He sat by me as I organized the mess of Christmas bags on the floor, "Why? Tell me."

"Today at my other job, one woman stole a shirt right from under my nose even though I should have seen it coming with how odd she was acting. Then today I come to this job to find that an employee was doing terrible things, and I already saw the signs and should have reported him. I just... I just don't ever think such things about people. I don't ever expect them to do those kinds of things. When someone's angry, I don't think they're bad. I just assume they're having a bad day."

Without missing a beat Mike tells me, "No, don't worry about it. There's nothing wrong with you. I'd rather be too trusting than untrusting. You're a good person - don't change."

That helped me get through the rest of my shift. Thank you, Mike.

So I think the lesson I was supposed to learn today wasn't along the lines of "stop being so naive", so much as "speak up, trust your instincts, don't ignore your feelings and senses."

This also helped me get more "into character" for writing the comic script for a story I hope to draw out some day about two girls based on me and my best friend who are sweet, kind, loving, but then some very bad things happen to them and they decide they'd rather live another lifestyle (one that involves killing those whom they believe are bad or evil). I was afraid I wouldn't be able to relate to them since I normally don't feel betrayed or hurt to the point where I don't care about humanity any more... but today I almost got to that line. It hurt a whole lot to give people my trust and leave it up to them to change their ways for the better instead of me forcing them into it, and then have them do such bad things. I wasn't angry, just wondering what I could do in the future to avoid this disappointment again. The only answer I could think of was to never again assume that people mean well.

Goodness knows though that I wouldn't be happy with that way of thinking.


***END OF UPDATE***


Saw this in a journal and decided to steal it. I wanna do a journal anyway.

1] Post these rules.
2] Each tagged person should post 8 facts of themselves.
3] Tagged people should write a journal\blog about these facts.
4] In the end tag and name 8 people.
5] Go to their DA/SA pages and comment saying that they are tagged.


1- I still look on my Tootsie Roll Pop wrappers for the little Indian with the star.

2- Boy shorts = comfort and cuteness.

3- My 5 siblings drive me crazy and yet they're all my best friends.

4- I'm actually horribly rebellious and stubborn, I just don't act on it. I don't WANT to be nice to all the butt-heads I meet, I don't WANT to be obedient and polite all the time, I don't WANT to have jobs right now, but I do anyway. It's the path I choose 'cuz I think it's gonna have a good ending. That's probably why I admire my friends who don't take crap from anyone and blow a fuse all the time.

5- I dunno if I'm incredibly patient or i... ]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/21984831/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/21984831/ Sun, 14 Dec 2008 17:03:00 PST
So what killed my happy mood?

My one enemy. The one and only thing that can make me go outside, look up at the sky, then slam the door and crawl right back in bed and hope I never wake up. It makes me afraid to leave my house. It doesn't help the fact that I already slip and fall all the time on my own. It makes our bills shoot up for extra heating in the house. It becomes muddy and always somehow ends up all over our house's carpets and floors. It makes me take an extra 10 minutes to clean off my car and sit in the driveway with the heater on full blast so I won't crash and die while driving. It makes me wear about 5 layers of clothes when I really would love to only have to wear jeans, a t-shirt and flip flops.

It's snow.

I am the Grinch of snow. I sneer at it, hating it, wishing it would just DIE, and I would certainly steal it and kill it if I could!!

I bet you're thinking "So much for you developing better coping skills when you're throwing a fit over snow."

You know what? You know WHAT?!?!!

... yeah you're right.

I STILL HATE IT!!!

If I could, I would gladly hibernate through the winter. I practically already do since sleeping is my #1 best way of getting warm again (our house is often cold, either because we can't afford the heating bill or my siblings are constantly forgetting to close the door).

Oh goodness, I just looked outside and it's dark as midnight. That's another reason I hate winter so much... it's not even 5:00 PM yet!!

Both of the stores where I work at aren't doing too well in their sales. I can just imagine my managers telling me one day that the sales are going up really quick and things are going great and they want to give me a raise, and I just frown "... but it's still snowing."

*curls up in a ball and curses snow to heck*

They were HUGE flakes too... the size of quarters. I looked like such a grump when all the kids ran outside after church and played in it, while I hunched over in anger and slowly dragged my feet over to the car to drive home.

That's a side of me they don't usually see, hahaha. Yeah, snow does that to me. I looked at my reflection in a car window I passed by and saw that I really did resemble the Grinch. -_-;;

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/21782255/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/21782255/ Tue, 02 Dec 2008 11:54:44 PST http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/21656611/ Mon, 24 Nov 2008 22:55:40 PST
1) I went to my first day at work at Tall Girl

2) My little brother showed me the DBZ Special on youtube. Check it out all you fans! [link]

Yep yep, great day. I have a really nice boss and friendly co-workers.

Dang, I haven't made any art in forever. I've wanted to be more serious about it, not posting all the little doodles I make any more.

oh, and about my ebay auction: It didn't sell at all, which is fine. It was very helpful for me to see my art on display for the whole world to see. Nothing else has ever motivated me more to try harder to make better work. It was a thousand times clearer to me what I was missing, what I needed to improve on. I'm still glad I tried it and learned from it. I got an etsy shop, but there's only a slight chance I'll try to sell anything on it any time soon. I'm working on a piece now to maybe try to sell on it, but we'll see if I think it's worth selling when I'm done.

And now, I go watch my DBZ Special.

Here's to a 23rd good year. *raises a glass of milk*

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/21491573/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/21491573/ Fri, 14 Nov 2008 20:24:13 PST
I'm looking at the simplicity of this piece and worrying that it's far too plain to be given notice to any level, but still... I told myself I have to just go for it or else I'll spend forever trying to make "the perfect piece" (and of course never achieve it).

I decided I wanted to sell some art on ebay in attempts of making just a little bit of money for college. To be blunt, the job-searching isn't going very well. The economy in my home-town never quite recovered from 9-11. Even if this won't make me an over-night success, if I just sell a few prints or make a few dollars off the auction of the original piece then I'll be VERY happy about this. It'll be HUGE motivation for me.

Please don't feel guilty or bad in the LEAST bit if you are not interested in this piece (to be honest I don't blame anyone and I don't mind at all), I will not be offended at all. No need to say anything like "Sorry I have no money" or anything. I just wanted to do some self-advertising anywhere I could in hopes of just getting my ebay auctions seen.

I plan on making more, hopefully of characters that can be directed at a wide audience. I prefer Disney Princess and old-school cartoons. Perhaps a few cute anime girls, who knows.

Please wish me luck in my auctions, I'll need it!

My auction for the original: [link]

To buy prints: [link]

Better quality image of the piece than what ebay is showing: [link]



I am available for commissions. Please note me if you are interested! Again, please don't feel obligated just because you're my friend or something. I always feel weird about posting stuff on my DA journal because I feel that only my friends read it and hence I'm pretty much talking only to them and targeting them, which I don't mean to do at all. This is just my little place to advertise myself.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/21477755/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/21477755/ Thu, 13 Nov 2008 22:33:08 PST
[link]

This movie is going to be TERRIBLE!!

After all these changes, why even bother calling it "The Dragonball Live Action Movie"?? It now, according to what I have seen, is NOTHING like Dragonball!

The original Oozaru at LEAST looked cuddly. Remember in The Tree of Might (one of my favorite DBZ movies) when Gohan goes all Oozaru and sees Icarus/Fire Dragon? And he gets all happy and sweet and stops destroying everything? Yeah, totally cute. Oozarus are just giant monkeys, not dog-ugly mixes between sharks and boogers!!

I'm not a drinker, but I bet any DBZ fan could easily make a drinking game with that movie when it comes out. Every time there's something in the movie that is TOTALLY out of whack with the original show, take a drink! You'll all be blind drunk half way through the show! Hm, I think I'll try it with orange juice.



































... i can't wait to see it.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/21308906/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/21308906/ Mon, 03 Nov 2008 21:26:07 PST
[link]

It's good for a laugh. We're a great family.

I had an awesome day today with a good friend. He/she/it ish ashomshes.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/21160179/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/21160179/ Sat, 25 Oct 2008 18:37:25 PDT [link]

I had that doll when I was little and thought it was the best thing in the world. Why? No, not for the doll. First of all, that jar of cherries smelled AMAZING. I would just sit and sniff it all day. Secondly, the spoon was the coolest little invention ever. If I didn't have my laptop and drawing supplies, I think I could stay entertained with that spoon for all eternity. I loved how the 3 little cherries would disappear as soon as you touched them.

I saw this commercial about a year ago while playing online and my little brother/best friend Jon was peeking over my shoulder. He said he would play with that spoon for hours, not because it was fun but because he couldn't figure out how in the heck it worked. He had me play the commercial several times to try and see how the cherries disappeared. I finally explained it to the poor boy. He was relieved to finally have that riddle solved after all these years.

Anyway, I sure do miss that jar and spoon. Every time I smell/taste artificial cherries/strawberries/watermelon, I think of all my childhood toys since 90% of them smelled like candy.

I'm really excited to get that TMNT birthday picture done, I'll post it once it's finished. Until them, wish me luck. I'm hoping to make it very well-done for my Benjos.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My other best friend is traveling this weekend, I wish her a safe trip! I can't believe I'm gonna get to see her in a week too, ohmygosh! I was afraid I wouldn't see her for another year at the least! We may not have too much time or money for fun, but just getting to talk/draw with her is going to be a slice of Heaven for me. And she'll be around for my birthday!! *imagines dragging her into Chuck E. Cheese's with me and my family*

I don't want anything for my birthday, I just wanna go out and have fun. And eat, I wanna eat like it's my birthday. :3

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/20883110/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/20883110/ Tue, 07 Oct 2008 23:40:36 PDT
I don't really know how to tell you this, but the mafia wants you. I think I realized it when your dog ran amok in the mental hospital and I saw you carve your initials into my mustard souffle. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand Santa doesn't exist. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of the apartment building.

Go burn,
Beka

Hahaha got tagged by from this journal [link] . Hope I didn't weird you out too much, hahaha.

P.S.

I don't really want you to burn.

P.S.S.

You can carve anything you like into my mustard souffle.

P.S.S.S.

Our future apartment building we hope to get next year is gonna fill me with all sorts of happiness and giddiness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***UPDATES ON LIFE***

*My nanny job rawks, my nephew is taking a few steps at a time and getting his 7, 8, and 9th tooth already. He's only 10 months old. His "mohawk" got so long it had to get cut... he has hair all over his head, but the only hair that seems to continue growing is the hair in the very middle of his scalp. It stuck straight up when he was born, so he was born as a little rebel. X3

*Art life is great, enjoying my colored pencils. I keep making up stories by the dozens though and getting attached to them, swearing to turn them into comics some day when I'm not even sure if I have the confidence to make comics any more. Hopefully if I read enough comics again (I only now read the very few I didn't get rid of out of my HUGE collection) I'll become passionate about making comics again.

*My fish are doing good except Patches has Fin Rot. His dorsal fin is half gone now, and I'm nannying 2 hours away from my house so I can't be there to take care of them. My daddy swore to buy medicine for them and take good care of them, so here's hoping they don't all die while I'm gone again. T_T

* and I are planning on challenging each other in a Void battle, I'm excited for it! Maybe that'll help build my confidence in making comics.

*It's the birthday season for my family. My Dad's, cousin's and uncle's were last month, this month is 3 of my siblings', and next month is mine and my little brother's. Wanna know a secret? I SUCK at getting presents. I've known these people all my life and I have NO idea of what they could possibly want!!

*Health-wise I'm great. I'm not losing any significant weight with counting calories, but my effort makes me feel good about myself. I feel much better taken-care of than before. When that guy I met on eHarmony told me I didn't look like my online photos I didn't let it hurt me because I like how I look. :3 Oh but I am having back problems though... I'm doing stretches every day in hopes that'll help. I bet sleeping on the floor is making it worse.

*I get to go back to college in 2 months!! I miss college SO much!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you want an awesome new avatar go hire the wonderful ! I love my avatar to itty bits!!

http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/20569302/ Fri, 19 Sep 2008 14:02:38 PDT
My friends told me that it's insulting when you spend a lot of time and effort on a picture, then someone does a terrible job coloring it and totally destroys it with their editing and posts it on DA without your permission, even if they DO give you credit. I can understand how that would be bothersome, but it's not exactly WRONG, is it? I mean, when people are THAT BAD and they color my work, I don't worry about people seeing that colored piece and thinking the color reflects my work, especially with the colorist giving me credit only for the line art.

I guess I'm scratching my head over this because I always feel sorry for bad colorists and WANT them to practice on good line art... but pity can be blinding, I know.

And I guess if I saw a whole gallery just of awesome pencil work but with one artist's horrible coloring, I might start to wonder if they deserve to have that gallery. They're getting pageviews just because they colored pieces made by popular artists, but they only spent maybe 2 minutes coloring the pieces themselves and so really didn't work for those pageviews. Seems unfair to me. Then again I've been to tons of DA pages where the artist is obviously a beginner but they have 100000x's more pageviews than undiscovered talented artists here on DA, and that's no crime. Seems unfair, but doesn't mean it IS unfair.

Another way to look at it is many artists, especially me, started out doing HORRIBLE drawings on our DA gallery (like, make you want to gouge your eyes out type of horrible) and yet we got to post our crap anyway and practice, improve, get better, and eventually become not-so-sucky artists. We started out as darn annoying, but eventually became somewhat positive contributions to the DA community.

Now look at colorists, artists who LOVE to color but don't have confidence in or any desire to draw. I worry that they don't have the same chance that I did to post their work and share it with their online community in hopes of receiving feedback and improving over time. Are they supposed to only color line art that seems to be on the same beginners level as them?

Then again, I know there are plenty of "coloring books" (sites and pages here on DA where artists allow anyone to color their work as long as they're given credit) and other ways to practice coloring other than using the line art of popular artists here on DA. AND I'm not one of the popular artists here on DA who every colorist wants to color, so I haven't been exposed to how annoying it can be.

So, what are the real copyright laws on coloring another artist's line art, are there any common-courtesy rules or "unwritten rules" about it, or is it something that is just annoying and unwanted in general for beginning colorists to color line art made by experienced artists?

Not fighting for the rights of the beginning colorists here, just think I ought to understand this after 5 years of being on DA, hehehe. I totally support any artist/line artist/inker/etc. who doesn't want their art altered or colored without their permission.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That guy I met on eHarmony emailed me a few more rude emails, trying to make me feel like a monster for not wanting to date him. It was more than just guilt-tripping, it was like he wanted to start a fight. Like he was trying to provoke me into saying just one mean thing so he could go off on me.

I was talking to my friend online while I got those emails, and he totally encouraged me to tell him off first, but I decided to respond nicely to him one more time. Then I waited by my laptop like a hawk, hoping he'd send me just ONE more rude email because I was done being nice after that. Sadly, he hasn't sent me another email since then and I think I missed my chance to tell him what a creep he is, hahaha. My luck. I probably should have taken my friend's advice when I had the chance. I was all angry and ready to go and everything! But noooooo... I just had to be little-miss-sugar. *promises to take lessons in aggression*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've finally decided to name the other two fish Twinkle and Sun Drop. With the types of names I give my pets, I pity my future children. X3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I recently hired the talented to make a new pixel animated avatar... ]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/20167190/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/20167190/ Tue, 09 Sep 2008 21:21:05 PDT
Things have been great for me lately, life is good. I think that's mostly because I've been going ahead and just doing whatever I feel like. I want to get to a healthy weight so I visited [link] to see how many calories I'd have to consume to lose 40 pounds in 5 months, wrote down the results and decided to stick to it. I wanted to eat healthier so I decided to go vegan, so I did. Just 5 months, not a life-long commitment. I've fallen in love with this site: [link]. When my brother and sister in law offered me this nannying job, I instantly accepted it even though I doubted myself. Turns out I can handle this job much better than I thought. I don't give myself enough credit for how capable I am. I also decided I wanted to start dating again, so I joined eHarmony.com and found a nice guy who lives an hour or so away from me. We're both nervous about dating a complete stranger but we're going for it anyway.

Maybe I'm a total hypocrite (as a Christian) for this but I like Zodiac signs, and I'm proud to be a Sagittarius. They're risk-takers though, so I've always felt empty and unaccomplished being the "play it safe" kind of girl. It feels nice to try things even if I think I'm gonna fail.

To my fellow DBZ friends: I made a quiz called "What kind of DBZ fan are you?". If you're bored, go give it a whirl! Sorry, no pictures. I could add some eventually. I could draw my own, but just editing some screen caps would be easier.

Quiz: [link]



***UPDATE***

So here are the updates on my recent risks, namely meeting a guy online through eharmony, becoming a vegan, counting calories and taking a nannying job.

The guy I met on eHarmony seemed really nice, but from day 1 I felt no spark whatsoever. We talked for about 2 weeks, and he was eager to meet me. I wasn't really up to it, but I decided I had better meet him in person to see if maybe I'd feel a spark if I saw him face-to-face. I have an uncle who would probably be the most dull person online, but he's an angel in real life. So I met him today and I quickly knew there would be no sparks between us. He was nice to talk to and a really nice guy and I would enjoy being his friend, but I wasn't dying to see him all the time like I want to feel when I fall in love. Right after he left I sent him an email saying I would still love to email him and see him in the future as a friend but I felt no spark. He replied pretty upset, thinking it was unfair that I made that choice after only meeting him once. He tried to first say that not all relationships need sparks, but I really want a spark personally. I don't want to just date the next available person.

Becoming a vegan was a mistake, I only lasted 2 weeks. Plus I got the flu in the middle of it. You tend to avoid the foods you ate right before throwing up, so since I had almost only vegetables a whole week before throwing up I became very afraid to eat them. I went for a week as a vegan afraid to touch vegetables. Oh yeah, it was torture. No more!! I bought some chicken boobs (sorry... BREASTS) a few days ago and have been enjoying those lately. <3

Counting calories is going great. I go a little over once in a while, but I don't let myself get upset about it. At this rate I should lose those 40 extra pounds in 5 months. Slow and safe, that's my style.

I LOVE my nanny job to death. I love living with my big brother and sister in law, I love spending all day with my nephew... I just love it all! Best job EVER. I'm home for 2 weeks while they all go on vacation, and I'm getting along very well with my dear family. We gave them the flu we had last week, but they're almost all done throwing up. They should return to school and work in a day or two.

So out of the 4 risks I recently took, 2 worked out great and 2 fell through. Glad I tried them though, and I feel I handled them a LOT better than I would have when I was younger. I'm glad I just got to see the type of person I am. I felt bad for not being interested in the guy from eHarmony, but I really feel I tried hard to get to know him and give him a chance and was polite and respectful and appropriate the whole time, and I'm glad I ended it quickly instead of dragging him along. I am sad he's upset though, I really do wish him the best.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/19906864/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/19906864/ Mon, 11 Aug 2008 22:36:10 PDT
Here's what I look like wearing my big brother's glasses. Do I look smarter? X3

[link]

This was taken after a hard day right before going to bed. Beware the acne and bad hair!! Bwahaha! *engulfs you in its horridness*

And I'm starting to wish I never dyed my hair.

A big thanks to my wifey for my one year sub to DA!

Been nannying my nephew for 2 weeks now and I love it. I underestimated how much work it would be and have done close to no art work the whole time, but I'm glad I learned this before I became a mom myself.



]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/19572270/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/19572270/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:07:13 PDT
My family took care of my goldfish Ferocious while I was gone and he outgrew his 10-gallon tank. He was slightly bigger than my hand. I had to donate him to a pet store today because he was way too cramped in our tank and I can't afford a bigger one. Here are a few pictures of him 'cuz I'm weird like that and get all emotionally attached to fish:

[link]
[link]

We got a tiny feeder goldfish named Pibsqueak to replace him. Hopefully he'll get huge too!

When I gave Ferocious to the pet store, my friend Autumn placed him in the tank with other large goldfish and koi and they instantly snuggled up to him and were very friendly and gentle with him, as if they were a welcoming committee. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen, I love fish!! I think they have personalities all of their own. Jill, my little sister's black goldfish that shared a tank with Ferocious, seems lonely now and isn't too excited about having the tank all to herself and Pibsqueak. She seems as unhappy as ever. She's half the size of Ferocious, maybe she needs a larger tank too... I might have to go give her to the pet store as well. My little sister is fine with that as long as we get to buy another tiny goldfish to watch grow. They grow fast if you feed them enough!

And one more photo to show you... I dyed my hair black. It looks totally fake on me but I really like it!!

[link]

I was very happy to sign into my account on my college's website to find that I got a 3.675 GPA this semester. I worked hard to earn that, I don't think I had a single day without homework or cleaning the dorm. I did have lots of fun, but all my art projects were my priorities.

Off to work more on the kitchen.



]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/19451716/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/19451716/ Thu, 17 Jul 2008 18:24:08 PDT
[link]

I've fallen in love with The Labyrinth again and have been looking for fan art all over DA and have seen pretty much all of it, and I find myself wanting more. Anyone wanna draw me some random Labyrinth fan art?

I go home on Saturday!!! *cries with happiness* I can't wait to see how huge my goldfish is now (Ferocious, about 5-6 inches long when I left).

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/19393005/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/19393005/ Mon, 14 Jul 2008 14:59:22 PDT
But my friend feels celebrities have a responsibility to keep their political views to themselves because they have more social power and influence than most people.

She does have a point there, especially since celebrities (in most American communities) are the "gods" of today, what one says or does really can influence many people. To me though, they're people just like you and me with freedom of speech, and we as individuals and families can decide for ourselves and teach our children to not conform to what celebrities tell us to conform to. I'm a total right-wing conservative Republican (with a pinch of Democratic), and even I'm OK with Rosie speaking her thoughts so often and openly. I don't like it? Whatever, I can just change the channel. *shrug*

OUT OF SHEER BOREDOM, what do you guys think on this?

DO NOT GET ARGUMENTATIVE OR MAKE PERSONAL ATTACKS IN MY JOURNAL PLEASE.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Last day of classes is this Friday, then I go home Saturday! I'm so happy I can't even tell you. I'm rushing through my final projects because I just want to get them over with so badly, I don't care!! I got rid of half my stuff just so I don't have to worry about dragging it all home on the plane.

The thing I probably miss most about being home is my mommy's cooking. I cannot wait to eat some REAL food again!

What I'll miss most about college is my room mates.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/19283852/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/19283852/ Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:07:02 PDT
This is my nephew Hyrum, he's a doll and I miss him with all my heart: [link]

Here's my latest haircut. I cut my bangs myself and honestly they look really bad. This is just a REALLY good pic of them: [link]

Randomness: This is probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. These are screenshots of the Steve Wilkos show on youtube. This poor little girl is trying to tell her dad how she feels, and he won't listen to her. And her heart-broken face is just angelic. I don't know how angels resist from coming to earth and cuddling with these innocent children. Heaven will have to hold me back when I die.

[link]
[link]

One and a half weeks of classes left and I am free for a semester until I return to school again!! *cries from happiness*

One more thing: -Chan found this adorable manga page that looks like me kicking the butt of someone picking on my little sister Keli. So cute!! I would too. X3

[link]

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/19096259/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/19096259/ Sat, 28 Jun 2008 16:48:42 PDT 's journal about her current situation [link] and here's the fund raiser being held by her good friend [link] You could get some real quality work from this fund raiser, including jewelery!

I just sent kitty a note asking if I could offer some commissions to help out with the fund raiser, and if so then I'll be asking for a $5 donation to the fund raiser for each pencil commission (same as what I normally charge for commissions). I told kitty in her note that I'll only do up to 5 commissions, but hopefully I'll manage to do more if I buckle down and work hard. And since this is for a fund raiser, I PROMISE to get them done within a week of them being purchased.

Thanks guys!

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/18990736/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/18990736/ Sun, 22 Jun 2008 21:01:02 PDT
* 1. Post these rules.
* 2. Each tagged person must post 8 things about their self on their journal.
* 3. At the end, you have to choose and tag 8 people and post their icons on the same journal.
* 4. Go to their pages and send a message saying you tagged them.
* 5. No tag-backs

1 - My adore Vin Diesel
2 - My current goal, aside from passing all my classes, is to become a smoking hot babe
3 - My little sister, age 14, is my close friend and the person I'm most jealous of
4 - After spending way too much money on tons of art supplies, I still only use pencils and erasers on a daily basis
5 - I often wish I was better at interrupting people and saying what I want to say the moment I think of it
6 - My parents are in their late 40's and I want another little sister
7 - I sleep on the floor, otherwise I'd have serious insomnia and body aches
8 - I daydream about DBZ every single freakin' day and I LOVE IT

I tag you if you...

1. are slouching as you read this
2. are the baby of the family
3. are taller than me (I'm 6 feet)
4. have highlighted or dyed hair
5. are active on gaiaonline.com
6. know who Frank DeLima is
7. know a good Mormon joke

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/18781218/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/18781218/ Thu, 12 Jun 2008 13:29:18 PDT
But anywaaay... onto the reason for this journal. was listening patiently to my sob story on MSN IM this morning and he drew me a picture!!! Isn't that sweet?

[link]

Since I don't respond to medication much in general and this rash hasn't responded to any medicine I've taken, Foo's love is the best medication I could ask for at the moment. He's ubber busy at the moment so it was very kind of him to take the time to draw a get-better-soon pic for me. Thank you Foo!!!

(P.S. I like to pretend the kitty is ^w^)

***UPDATE***

Thank you for all the warm wished everyone! The first time I got that terrible skin rash attack about 3 or 4 years ago, I saw the doctor and they told me I had a very sensitive skin condition and told me I'd be OK. I saw the doctor again yesterday and it turns out I'm horrible allergic to something, we just don't know what. They gave me some super strong medicine that actually has an effect on me and I'm as good as new!

The doctors are doing some blood tests in attempt to find out what makes me break out in hives, swell up like a balloon and get so dizzy that I can't stand up or walk. I'll update you when I find out what makes my immune system go so crazy.

The nice thing about going through that was I feel like I just came out of a near-death experience. Everything around me is beautiful and new and all I want to do is go live and have fun!!! *runs around hugging everyone*

***SECOND UPDATE***

Saw the doctor Thursday and it seems I DON'T have any conditions where my body attacks itself or anything, so whatever I have it's not deadly, I just have a REALLY bad allergy to something. The doctors have yet to find out what. They gave me more Allegra for when I break out in hives again. I guess that's all we can do for now.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/18408031/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/18408031/ Mon, 19 May 2008 23:28:10 PDT
Am I just way too busy for my own good or am I just a bad person?

I think it's a mix of both.

I'm sorry, little buddy! Please forgive big sister, she loves you and wishes she could have been there for your birthday! She misses you SO much and thinks you are such an awesome boy.

And I'm still so sorry Mommy, I can't believe I forgot about you when you've been so thoughtful of me every single day that I've been at college! Please forgive me!!

I WILL make it up to you both, I promise!! That won't ever happen again! I love you both!!

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/18192668/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/18192668/ Tue, 06 May 2008 07:49:01 PDT ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*ART STORE NOW OPEN~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
===============================================

My dear friend posted this journal here [link] and I thought I should do the same!

So yep, we have a store now. Tell all your friends, hahaha. We do colored commissions. I draw them and then Fauxy colors them. We charge $40 each commission (total, so that's $20 for me and $20 for Fauxy) and we accept payment only through paypal.

Here's our store:

So what does this mean in regard to my $5 commissions? I still have 2 more to do, one for Sas-Chan and Pockychopstix. They will still only be charged $5. Thank you both for your incredible patience. Please never be afraid to note me saying stuff like, "So how's my commission coming?" because I appreciate the reminder and I think you have the right to know if I'm working super hard on your commission or just taking my sweet time with getting around to it. Don't be afraid of bothering me... it takes a LOT to get me mad, hahaha.

As to not compete with my own store though, I'm gonna cease from doing my $5 commissions for now once those two are done. Later on though, perhaps in the fall when I get home from college, I'll do my own cheap little commissions again and I could hand color them with colored pencils since my awesome new roomy is showing me kick-butt techniques for using them. She's so talented!

===============================================
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*MY MOMMY'S DA ACCOUNT*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
===============================================

Ohmygosh, my sweet mommy got an account here on DA so she could watch my art and send me notes. Is that not the cutest thing in the world? I miss her to itty bitty bits. I remember the morning when I left for college, we got up super early to catch the plane at 6:00 AM and I was cuddling with my mom on the couch for a few minutes while Daddy was getting ready to drive me. When it was time to go I walked down the stairs, turned and waved to my Mommy, then Daddy closed the door and as soon as I couldn't see her face anymore I started crying as hard as I did when I was 4 years old and my Mommy dropped me off at Kindergarten for the first time. Hahaha, I'm such a kid at heart.

Here's her account if you wanna give her some love or say hi! =^_^=

===============================================
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*COLLEGE LIFE*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
===============================================

My art classes are sooooo haaaaard!! But I'm learning SO much in so little time, it's worth it! A good way to tell if you really want to pursue art as your career is to go to college for it. If you're not willing to dedicate yourself to those hundreds of art assignments and to spend every last penny on all the art material required, this may not be your dream career as you thought. I was almost scared away at first too, but then I thought, "No! I will regret it the rest of my life if I don't do this! I'm gonna ace these classes, have perfect attendance, and be the best art student since Leonardo DaVinci!!"

Well I'm off to do my Religion 121 paper. Laters everyone! <3

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/18104922/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/18104922/ Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:28:32 PDT
Do you CURRENTLY (in the last 3 months or so)...
[ ] Post a piece of work even if you hate it or it's unfinished?
[ ] Go on fave raids?
[ ] Comment on an artist's (or more) work in hopes that they'll give you attention and comments in return?
[ ] "Befriend" people in DA in hopes that they'll comment on your work?
[ ] Leave comments like "Hi! Look at my gallery" on deviants' pages?
[ ] Have "Please look at my gallery!" or the like in your signature?
[ ] Link to one of your own pictures in your signature?
[ ] Make gift art for a complete stranger on DA in hopes that they'll comment on it?
[ ] Make gift art for someone who is popular on DA in hopes that their fans will comment on it?
[ ] Post journals/deviations ranting about how people should comment on your work if they fave it?
[ ] Post journals/deviations ranting about how people need to give more thoughtful comments on your work other than "cute!" or "cool!"?
[ ] Post journals on a ridiculously frequent basis?
[ ] Do something else that encourages or obligates others in a way, especially strangers on DA, to comment on your work?


4-0 "Comment and let comment" - You're not demanding at all, and that helps give the DA community a much more laid back mood and welcoming feeling. You might do a few things on occasion to encourage or discreetly ask for attention but not to the point where it's annoying or rude. Thank you for making DA a more pleasant place.

8-5 "A poke and nudge here and there" - Not all the time, but more than what is appreciated, you get a craving for some extra attention other than what your current DA friends and watchers give you and try to get it through insincere and sneaky means. Be careful to not cross that line into becoming a comment whore!

13-10 "Comment Whore" - People need attention... it's a NEED, not a want. Everyone can relate to you. Everyone has been at a point where they needed more attention than what they were getting. We all need to feel appreciated, known, wanted, befriended, supported, etc. According to this quiz, though, you're going about it in empty ways. In this state of mind it's all about you getting what you want, even at the expense of other people realizing that you are using them to make yourself feel better. I have had people treat me like this and I take it as rude and hurtful. There are better ways to get attention.

When I first joined DA I would have scored a 7 or 8, now I can honestly say that I scored 0!

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/18027593/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/18027593/ Fri, 25 Apr 2008 18:40:46 PDT
Here's the article: [link]

When I first saw it I wrote a huge journal about how there's no way these women could really be Mormons because everything in that article was so inaccurate, not representing me our my religion at all. But then I looked at the slide show, linked to next to the little picture about half way down the article, and it turns out they're actually called "The FUNDAMENTALIST CHURCH of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints". My Mormon church's real name is "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints". It's good to know they're not real Mormons, but why couldn't they have mentioned that in the article? It misrepresents me and my religion.

Sorry to lecture you all but I just want to make sure you all know: These women are NOT Mormons. Mormons are NOT polygamist. I am NOT ashamed that we once were.

On a lighter note: The myth that Mormons are born with horns is true. Here are mine! [link]

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/17772744/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/17772744/ Wed, 09 Apr 2008 23:34:04 PDT
While I don't take them as pure truth, I think they're really fun. Sure, they're probably designed to fit anyone, but they get me thinking about people and personalities and it's a quick and easy way for me to think about people on a psychological plane. It helps me try to see things from their point of view rather than just assuming that they're just unpleasant people in general.

For example, I am a Sagittarius and my sign helps me like myself more. My sign supposedly gets along with everyone well because we're easy-going and gentle. We can be horribly stubborn and unwilling to commit though. This is a little reminder for me to take chances more often in committing myself to things and people, and to not be insistent on having my way all the time. I love my free spirit, and whenever people try to tell me that I chain myself down with my religious beliefs I am comforted by just imaging my Zodiac symbol. I think of the horse hoofs running with all their might and the wind in my hair and I feel like I know a freedom and they will never understand.

It also helps me understand people who can be hard to get along with. As a Taurus, my mom and I are total opposites and it's easy for us to hurt each other. Keeping this in mind reminds me to be sensitive to her feelings because Tauruses are much more fragile than they let on. They are strong and controlling but deep inside they're just as loving and sweet as anyone else.

My little sister, a Libra, is now a teenager and can be a handful for my mom so I sent my little sister an email telling her about her Zodiac sign and ways that she and mom can get along according to what their signs say. Libras and Tauruses actually have a lot in common, it's a matter of them having good communication or they can easily hurt each other. If my mom and sister were more open with each other then I'm pretty sure they'd get along better, perhaps even being quite close. As a Sagittarius, I still have a very hard time understanding my mom's way of thinking even though we have a much better relationship now.

So does anyone else find Zodiac signs to be useful in sorting out relationship problems (perhaps not in a serious life-altering manner but just for some psychological assistance) or just for fun? My big brother completely condemns things like this and refuses to even talk about it, and that's OK. It's just for fun for me. I agree that it can be taken too far if someone gets too passionate about it.

If you're bored you can tell me how your Zodiac sign does or does not fit you. ^^ I'd like to hear it! If you too think it's evil and should not be touched, go ahead and tell me about it. I'm easy-going. I don't love it SO much that I'm gonna defend it to the death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have one more final tomorrow and then I am DONE with this semester!! Glory glory Hallelujah! And next semester I get to take 3 art classes! *is totally excited!*

And I should update soon, I've been drawing a lot but not too eager to post anything since I'm just experimenting with a new technique (new for me) but maybe I'll post them later. I'm gonna be so bored with no classes that I might have nothing better to do, hahaha.

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/17460813/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/17460813/ Sat, 22 Mar 2008 15:34:42 PDT is selling her art! Her work is just amazing, please give it a look at least! The money she raises from these sales will really help her out a lot too.

Go to her journal about her sales here! [link]

As for the commissions I'm currently working on, sorry I've taken over a month to get to them. Now that I'm at college my life seems to revolve around homework, eating and sleeping. I got a little depressed after two months of that, but then I changed my major to Art (emphasis on Illustration) and I've made it a goal to draw every day and I am feeling a LOT better now and much more excited to draw and learn more about art and stuff. I'm the kind of person who has to be constantly learning about art or I forget it all very quickly and get very very bad at it, hence why my latest updates have looked so terrible. Next semester I'm sure all my art classes will get me even more excited about drawing. ^_^

One more thing: My friend wanted to see a picture of me with my natural hair (not straightened) so here's what I look like after my hair dries naturally after a shower:

[link]

]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/16678092/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/16678092/ Fri, 01 Feb 2008 16:52:00 PST

I call it a "rant" because I want to get this off my chest.

Are you shy? Has anyone ever gotten on your case about it?

I saw a counselor a few years ago and mentioned that I was shy, and she asked in such a haughty tone, "What do YOU know about being shy?"

I was too dumbfounded by such a question to answer it then, but now I know I should have mentioned that I never played with anyone at recess when I was in grade school. In second grade I would sit behind that giant green box thing that buzzed (anyone know what those are?) and sing to myself. In the following years I would sit and read or draw, and in 6th grade I helped out in the special education class every recess because the thought of me being outside and having to interact with everyone all at once overwhelmed me. I'd much rather be in a small room with a handful of kids with special needs. It's much more quiet and peaceful, it's my kind of atmosphere.

So even this counselor ridiculed me for being shy, which sort of goes against her code, you know?

The years go by and now I'm at college and my 3 dorm mates are crazy, hyper, fun-loving 18-year olds who go to every dance and activity they can get their hands on. They worry a lot about how I'd rather stay home and do my own thing. One even said to me, "You just THINK you're shy because you have a high squeaky voice".

O_o;;; Oh... kay... yeah, your voice determines your personality.

What I want to explain to them, along with the whole world, is that being shy does not mean you are afraid of everything and everyone or that you don't ever want to show your face in public because you're ashamed of yourself. Yes, a lot of people tend to be shy BECAUSE of those reasons but that's more of a self-esteem issue that a lot of younger people experience, and by the time you're my age (21) and you're still shy, it's because you prefer to be that way. It's mostly a matter of where you get your energy or comfort from. Some people draw comfort and energy from others, adrenaline, and excitement. Others, like me, draw it from peace, serenity, and solitude.

Please don't think that I'm anti-social or anti-people at all, I love people. I love my dorm mates. I love it when they dress up like gangstas and dance to old N*Sync music, or crack jokes until 2 in the morning. All that funny silly stuff excites me too, especially because there's only 3 of them doing it. But say there were 10 or more adolescents in my house, being crazy, loud, and rather irresponsible (like taking out a lighter and playing with it IN MY HOUSE... true story), then I get overwhelmed and psyched out and I just want to leave. It's too much. If a small group of crazy teens makes me a little sick to my stomach, imagine what a whole room of crazy dancing people (like at a dance or party) does to me. I feel like every bit of energy and sanity are being sucked from my pores, and I can't think straight or bring myself to have any fun.

Please don't worry about me, please don't think I'll become a crazy cat lady, please don't drag me into clubs and bars, please don't think I'm abnormal.

I may be missing out on some things but I think a lot of people miss out on enjoying peace and quiet in their lives, as well as getting in touch with your inner self or spirituality or whatever you want to call it.

I hug strangers, I smile at people on the streets, I'm willing to make new friends, I have fun, I enjoy life.

These header and footer images were taken from photobucket.com and are not mine in any way at all. I hope they make your day a little brighter.









]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/16308381/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/16308381/ Mon, 07 Jan 2008 21:25:09 PST

I'm at college safe and sound, hooray!

So I was bored in my dorm room and texting my family. I sent this scary pic of me to my little sister Keli:



To which she responded with:



And earlier my daddy sent me this funny pic of my little brother Toby:



To which I responded with:



Yes yes, we are a lovely family, I know.

Here's another picture of my Toby because he's the coolest little monkey boy ever:






Oh noes, there's a Cold Stone ice cream shop only a few blocks away from my dorm! D: I'm gonna spend every penny I have there and get fat!

These header and footer images were taken from photobucket.com and are not mine in any way at all. I hope they make your day a little brighter.









]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/16101032/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/16101032/ Tue, 25 Dec 2007 21:05:37 PST

Every Christmas my family gets together with some relatives of mine who I swear hate us all because of our religion. They didn't even contact us once when my daddy was having heart surgery and was near death, and that gives me the feeling that they don't care whether we live or die. It really hurts. Plus I swear one of them hates me specifically because I once called him an idiot, even though I gave the idiot a sincere apology soon afterwards. OK, so I'm not sincere about it any more, but I really didn't mean to hurt him THAT bad. Gosh, the guy wouldn't even look at me after it happened. He's a grown man, what's his problem?

So every Christmas for the past few years I have been absolutely miserable because I'm somewhat socially inclined/obligated to greet these people, share a house with them for a few hours, and probably even converse with them a bit. It may not seem like a big deal but I swear they hate us, and we don't even talk the rest of the year. I really hate it, I don't want once-a-year-relatives. I don't want us to pretend that we like each other, even if it's one day a year. They really really really hurt me and I don't want to see them, especially not on Christmas.

So this Christmas my ever-forgiving mother decides to invite them over to our house for Christmas Eve. That's bearable since I can lock myself in my room whenever I feel I can't stand being near them any longer. However there wasn't a real need for that since they came a few hours late, only one of them hugged me/looked at me/talked to me (and was very sweet and friendly) and the others kept their distance and didn't force me into anything. That was perfectly fine with me, I wouldn't have it any other way considering our current relationship. I wish we could hug and be friends but how can I hug someone who looks at me like he wants to kill me? Seriously, he has the Devil himself in his eyes whenever I look at him.

So that was jolly good. I quite enjoyed that, it was the best Christmas Eve family party I have had in years. But then it got better.

As soon as they left my daddy told the rest of us that he (the relative who hates me ever so much), who is an architect for schools, was listening on the radio about religious stuff and there was a scripture he had been searching for for a long time that mentioned parents being allowed to kill their children (O_o;;; ... psycho...). He heard that scripture on the radio and quickly jots down, "Kill parents, kill children" along with the scriptural reference.

He continued driving to his meeting (I think that's what it was) with the company who would build the new elementary school and dropped off some paper work, accidentally mixing up his scratch paper in with the pile, and he left to go to another meeting at another school where they were going to give him an award and promotion of some kind (I'm fuzzy on the details).

The first guy who had the pile of papers found the scratch paper with the words "kill parents, kill children" and instantly calls 911 and reports him, and police (or something) came to the meeting where he was going to be promoted (or something) and stopped the meeting. I don't know if he got arrested but they temporarily withdrew the award and they had 3 detectives working on the case, and this story was printed in the paper 3 days in a row.

Everything got sorted out and he was found innocent and got his award and promotion (I think... at least the reward, I'm sure). Hence I got a good laugh out of it and no one was hurt. That was a WONDERFUL Christmas story for me.

I'll be scratching my head, though, over why on earth he was looking for scriptural support for parents being allowed to kill their children.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now that Christmas is over I have a little over a week to sell/give away as many things as I can to lighten my load, pack everything else up, send off my late Christmas presents to my friends (I wanna make you some hand-made things, they're coming!) and spend as much time with my family as I can before leaving them until August. T^T

If you are interested in buying some DBZ VHS movies/action figures please let me know! I'm gonna try ONE more time to sell them on ebay, or off the to the thrift store they go!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merry Christmas, my friends. Here's to a happy new year full of success, health and love!

... ]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/16001962/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/16001962/ Wed, 19 Dec 2007 14:44:58 PST

Lookit this video I recorded on my phone of me and my little sister at BigLots!... then she STOLE it and put it on her phone! *hmph* That's OK, I forgive her. She is such a nut... I have such a thexthy voice, I know.

[link]

These header and footer images were taken from photobucket.com and are not mine in any way at all. I hope they make your day a little brighter.









]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/15978965/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/15978965/ Mon, 17 Dec 2007 20:12:16 PST

Oh wow, we opened our gaia store just today and the responses are phenomenal!! Check it out! [link]

Today I was looking on youtube.com for funny Mormon jokes and stuff (I love to make fun of us, we're such dorks and I'm proud of it!) and of course I ran into some mean videos about us as well.

From ages 12~17 I was HORRIBLY sensitive to bashing on my religion. I hated it, it made me cry all day through school several times. It made me feel like the whole world hated me. But worst of all, it really made me question my beliefs and if I really was evil or demon spawn.

I wish someone told me that everyone hates someone, and Mormons are easy targets because we ARE weird and unusual, and people fear what they don't understand.

I wish someone told me that it's not us they hate, it's our culture that confuses and confounds them. I know if someone were to spend a day with me (not with me preaching to them or anything, but just enjoying their company) I know they would like me... I'm nice, I'm a good listener, I like people. They would feel safe and comfortable, unless they already decided before meeting me that they hate me because of my religion. Even if they do, it's OK. People do that to protect themselves, and in time they'll realize that there's no threat or danger of any kind for them to fear from me. It's OK.

I wish someone told me that a lot of people leave and hate our church because they've been offended, and they're still very badly hurt by it. They carry a grudge. If you've ever carried a grudge, you understand how they feel. I know I've been offended many times at church before, whether it was by a lesson that I couldn't understand at first (and made me angry) or if it was by an adult leader of some kind that I trusted. Oh yes, I've been absolutely crushed before. My Young Women leader just crushed me one day, giving me a whole laundry list of things she hated about me. And her assistant stood by, just nodding and agreeing with her the whole time. I felt so picked on and alone, I ran home crying and fell into my mother's arms sobbing. But did that make my religion wrong? No, it was an experience to teach me things like how to be sensitive to how others feel, how to forgive, how to take criticism, and how I can't use my depression as an excuse for my negative behavior - it still hurt and bothered many people, such as my Young Women leaders. If I had left my church over that, it would have solved nothing. Now instead I hug them and talk to them every time I see them. If I can forgive them for hurting me as bad as they did, I feel like I can handle many more things. Just as no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, no one can make you feel offended without your consent.

I wish someone told me that my thoughts and feelings are just as valid as anyone else's, and I know my religion makes me happy, keeps me safe, teaches me valuable life lessons, and helps me realize what's important in life, such as my family and education. It's OK for others to hate me, and it's OK for me to love myself as well as them.

I wish someone told me it's not a big deal... EVERY religion gets bashed on. Look at the Jews, Muslims and Catholics. We Mormons are not alone, hahahaha. And not only religions but look at your friends who claim to have no religion. See how their families treat them... as outsiders, as fallen angels who are now demons in their own sense. Look at homosexuals and certain ethnicities... they all suffer persecution. You are not alone in your grief.

Might I add that quite a few strong members and leaders of my Mormon faith started out as complete anti-Mormons who fought against the church with all their might, but then had a change of mind and heart and became some of the most kind and loving people I have ever heard of. When they say "keep your enemies closer", I think that's what they're talking about. Think of all the stories where the hero's enemies become his friends and help him win his biggest battle.

But most of all think of what you're going to do about this situation. For me, I will never bash on other religions/beliefs/cultures out of ignorance and hatred as I have experienced, and I will appreciate all people for the good they do.

Most of all I just wish someone told me it's OK.

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Time for a happy Care Bear song!!!

I care for you
I like to show you by the little things I do
It warms my heart
To think that you might feel like sharing too
That's w... ]]> ~qtsushigirl http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/15513914/ http://qtsushigirl.deviantart.com/journal/15513914/ Wed, 14 Nov 2007 21:48:29 PST

UPDATE:

A super duper big thank you to all the sweeties who made me drawings for my birthday (please check them out!) and I have the bestest news EVER!!

*drum roll*

IS BACK!!!!! Please go give her a huge hug, these last few weeks have been horrible for her! I'm so glad she's back! Thank you so much, , for working on her case and bringing her back to us! *dance of joy*

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My birthday is November 24th, and I'll be 21!

I WANT PRESENTS!!!!

That's right, I said it!

What do I want? I want art trades with my friends! If you'll draw me something for my birthday, I'll draw something for you! Just let me know what you want! Um, my birthday is coming up soon so I won't have time for too many but I'll take as many as I can and then update this journal when I can't handle any more (IF I get any at all). And this is just meant for fun so I won't worry about making each picture perfect so I won't take forever, I promise.

If we agree to do an art trade then these are a few ideas of things I would love drawn for me:

1. DBZ
a. Tenshinhan!! (love him love him LOVE HIM!!)
b. Piccolo (*droolies*)
c. Vegeta x Bulma (keep it clean)

2. 80's cartoons
a. Care Bears (with lots and lots of rainbows!)
b. Rainbow Brite (also with rainbows!)
c. My Little Ponies

3. How we would celebrate my birthday if you were here with me

4. Moths/slugs/snails/fish (my favorite creatures ever)

5. RAINBOWS! Seriously... I'm obsessed with them. Wanna draw you and me dressed up all in rainbow-colored clothes? Or eating rainbow ice cream?

6. Anything that just says "love" or "friendship" or "happy"... or "cute". I LOVE cute stuff!

7. Your version of my character Sushi.

PLEASE DON'T NOTE ME! I don't know why but I prefer getting responses to this journal right here... seems like less of a hassle. Please let me know if you are interested in a response to this journal and include what drawing you would like in return. And I'd rather do this with people I am familiar with here on DA, so please do not be offended if I won't do an art trade with you because I don't know you too well or at all.

***Depending on how many art trades I get I may only have time to do sketches for everyone. If there are just a few then I'll be sure to put more time into my drawings, K?***

Oh and no drawings of us drinking alcohol, please. My little brother and sister both have fetal alcohol syndrome affects and to be blunt I HATE alcohol with all the fiery passions of Hell and spit upon it. I wish it never existed.

...sorry I got a little upset there. o 3o

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A big special "Thank You!" to those who drew me such wonderful gifts!!

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