http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:questor842&section=today deviantART RSS for by:questor842 en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 21 Dec 2009 23:02:21 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/4164413/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/4164413/ Sun, 26 Dec 2004 19:44:34 PST
Now, this doesn't mean I'll be posting anything (but who knows when inspiration will strike!), but I will be trying to keep up with my DevWatch at least!

Ben ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/2427319/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/2427319/ Fri, 14 May 2004 11:45:03 PDT . If you want to keep in touch, I got a LJ at [link] and hopefully I'll keep that updated. Everybody, take care and thanks again!!! ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1892012/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1892012/ Sun, 22 Feb 2004 22:48:40 PST posts the following poem:
[link]
exactly one year to the day of the events in my life which inspired this work:
[link]

in other things: The Snowball (Gettysburg College's annual winter formal) was Friday night. It was a nice night, got to meet some poeple I haven't seen in over a year, and I got to act like a dancin' fool for a few hours. It didn't live up to the past few Snowballs, but then, it would have been hard for it to

Still hunting jobs, with little to no success, but I shall keep on pluggin' away!!

I am slowly being able to get the thoughts flowing, but I don't think anything shall come to being until Spring Break at the earliest, unless life presents me with drama. And being that February is nearing conclusion, drama is almost a sure thing; for me at least.

Well, everyone out there take care!

Ben ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1845081/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1845081/ Sat, 14 Feb 2004 15:14:15 PST
Valentine's Day is all about celebrating the love in your life, no matter what form it is in. Spend it with a loved one: your mom, your dog, your boy/girlfriend, or just your amazing friends. It does not have to mean extreme sappy romance, just care and love. So this Valentine's Day, don't sulk just because there may not be that one special someone, celebrate because of all the love that surrounds you.

This is so true. I think a lot of us do miss the point of what Valentine's day is. It's extremely easy to miss the point thanks to the media and corportate america making this into an over-sappy holiday about giving gifts to your boy/girlfriend or husband/wife. Not that there is anything wrong with it. It's just that us who are on the outside looking in on the game of love may want to step back and take a better look at V-day.

Well, I'm out for now. Everybody take care, and to everybody out there, Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

Ben ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1825383/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1825383/ Tue, 10 Feb 2004 20:47:23 PST

I think I realized the cause of the lack of my inspiration as well. I seem to be able to write my best stuff when I can get outside at night. Somethign that's hard to do in the winter!

I have to give most of the credit to the retreat I was on this weekend. It was great to spend a weekend in God's grace, and truly experience the healing that religion can have, both physically and mentally.

I know Valentine's day is coming up *slight grumble* but with a few things going on, possibly haning out with a female friend (not a date) I think I can survive. The Winter formal is in two weeks, I'm not too concerned about that for some reason. Who knows why...

Job search: not so hot, as I'm having atough time findng jobs that I'm not under or over qualified to have. Communication with CS professors is onthe horizon I believe.

Not much more to say..but: later all!!
Ben ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1790764/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1790764/ Tue, 03 Feb 2004 22:55:17 PST
Three years ago, I began to feel strange. My energy was much lower than usual, my appetite became less and less, and I was noticing a whole bunch of little things happening to my body that had not happened before. The semester was a continual downward slide for me as I could hardly eat anything, and what I could eat didn't quite agree with my stomach. I became completely exhausted, and hardly had the ability to do anything, sans hang out with Jim. This really crushed my social life here on campus. It turns out that it was the onset of Chron's Disease (I won't elaborate on what it really does for the sake of the squeamish)

Fast forward to today, I'm finally getting my social life here back in order. The past two days I have been feeling eerily similar to how I did before the Chron's got really really bad three years ago. The appitie has dropped drastically, the pressure in the gut that I had back then has come back too. I'm praying that this is just an isolated incident, as this would be the worst possible time for a flare-up, with the job searching, and classes that need to be completed for graduation.

I pray this clears up in the coming days. If it doesn't get better by Monday, action will need to be taken :-\ ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1769636/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1769636/ Fri, 30 Jan 2004 21:35:32 PST
Yeah... been a while since a real entry..lotsa stuff goin down

Classes are going good, I believe my one english professor is damne near clinically insane, but that makes class interesting.

My absolutest-favortiest day of the year (NOT) is two weeks away, although I may actually attempt to do something. There;s been one girl I have been backing and forthign about in my head since more or less the start of the year. I figure I'll finally be able to let it all go if I give her one last honest shot.

Doin' World Music Ensemble this semester. Woot for learnign to sing in African dialects

Goin' on another retreat next weekend with the Catholic Campus Ministries, so the results of that will be most interesting, as it will be another big step on my way to getting a solid grip on my faith.

Oh: two new, talented deviants you should visit and stalk if you have not already:



Finally, I found out that there's a quasi-zoo growing in the theater here on campus. In addition to the bat that makes itself know from time to time during the show, today I caught a squirrel zipping across the stage during crew call
Boy...it would be funny as hell to see him run across stage during a serious scene Anyways, everyone take care
until the next time!

Ben ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1759589/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1759589/ Wed, 28 Jan 2004 22:24:18 PST
Sunday Night heat:
A-Train vs. Ryno

WMXX:
Battle Royale-$500,000 to the winner
Rob Conway, Booker T, Mark Henry, Jindrak & Cade, Bradshaw, Rikishi, Chuck Palumbo, Billy Gunn, Edge, Scott Stiener, Test, Orlando Jordan, Johnny Stamboli

Women's Title-Triple Threat
Jazz/Molly Holly/Jazz

US Title-Big Show(c) vs. John Cena

World Tag Team Titles- No DQ
Evolution(c) vs. Dudley Boyz

Cruiserweight Battle Royale
Rey Mysterio, Chavo Gurerro, Spike Dudley, The Hurricane,
Ultimo Dragon, Akido, Sakoda, Tajiri, Jamie Knoble, Dean Malenko, Paul London, Funaki

WWE Tag Titles- Cage Match
Basham Bros. (c) vs. The World's Greatest Tag Team

Intercontiental 6 Way (same rules as Triple threat)
Randy Orton (c) vs. Mick Foley vs. Chris Jericho, vs. Chirstain, vs. Rob Van Damn, vs. Matt Hardy

World Heavyweight Title
HHH(c) vs. Chirs Benoit

Casket Match
Undertaker vs. Kane

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

HBK vs. Rock

WWE Title- Submission only
Eddie Guerro (c) vs. Kurt Angle

I worked it out in my head that a lot of the matches will be over 15 minutes, with ample time for performances, cameos, and the national anthem.
Now, if the WWE would put this out as the card, I would be more than happy to fork over 50 bucks for it. ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1709230/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1709230/ Mon, 19 Jan 2004 21:21:21 PST

As you can see, I have gotten a new icon (again), and this one I intend to keep for a while. It's Silverbolt from Transformers: Beast Wars. As is the case with Domon Kashu, I see myself in Silverbolt. Well, I'llbe posting in my journal with regularity again, and perhaps posting writing and stuff, depending on how well the creative juices flow. I have some ideas bouncing around, but we'll see how they turn out! Until then, everyone take care!

Ben ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1678949/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1678949/ Wed, 14 Jan 2004 11:15:43 PST
Ben ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1652418/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1652418/ Fri, 09 Jan 2004 09:33:04 PST
Work has been interesting, I realized today how desensitized I've become to hear three or so one year olds crying into my ear at once

Well, everybody take care!

*worships the belt*
[link] ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1618289/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1618289/ Fri, 02 Jan 2004 09:23:14 PST

It's gonna be roughly 2, 2 1/2 weeks until I'll be able to get back to regular posting/commenting on DA.

Later!
Ben ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1553556/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1553556/ Thu, 18 Dec 2003 18:19:18 PST Thanks for all your comments and supoprt the past seven months!
The lucky 1000th viewer was apparently , so extra thanks to her!

Current Music: Blind Guardian- The Soulforged
Current Mood: ready to cram for East Asian History Final

Later all! ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1532997/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1532997/ Sun, 14 Dec 2003 10:10:54 PST Three Cheers for the Super-Happy-Winter-Fun-Time Mix!!!
*hears crickets chirping* that's what I thought....
If you're in need of a chuckle and/or need a break from studying, just check out
Well, I have g2g for now, everybody take care, and I hope your holiday seasons are going along nicely! ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1523228/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1523228/ Thu, 11 Dec 2003 21:12:28 PST








~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1518593/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1518593/ Wed, 10 Dec 2003 21:45:51 PST at least until finals of course. But, I gotta take my victories where I can get them. I spent the night chillin' watchin Harry Potter and playin' FF VII. I figure I'll be starting to study for finals tomorrow night, but I'll take my relaxation where I can get it. Well, that's all for now, I gotta get back to watchin Big O, commercials are almost over.

Until then, may all your dog demons sit, and all your megaduces arive when called upon

Ben ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1510876/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1510876/ Tue, 09 Dec 2003 09:50:52 PST Well, the night went easier on my after my ex (who was sitting right next to me) left. Not that we get along badly or anything, I just didn't need a reminder of the bad parts of the semester while I was going through another bad part. Well, enough of my rambling, I have to go see my prof. about this paper and get some help on it. ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1509428/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1509428/ Mon, 08 Dec 2003 22:25:44 PST
Ben ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1497873/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1497873/ Sat, 06 Dec 2003 09:10:11 PST ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1488934/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1488934/ Thu, 04 Dec 2003 09:28:09 PST

Of this world, the end is coming
Dreams and hopes do not matter

Inside your heart, you are sleeping
but you will not wake up
Feel the hand of a future that cannot be changed

Burning for your life
This life will burn out someday, even if you try to cling to it
(for the perfect dream)
Drowning in my dream
Even if it's remembered, a dream is only a dream
You are star light

In that world, overflowing with shines
Your spirit will die out
Soon after the delivery of love by a wishing angel,
With it's hand, stopping the end of the future

Drowning for my life
Someday it will hit, this life cannot go back
(for the eX dream)
Drowning in your dream
Even if it's remembered, where will the dream continue?
I am moon light

Drowning for your life
A surprise is on the way, even if hope is held on to
(for the perfect dream)
Drowning in my dream
Even if destruction occurs, I will not run away

Drowning for my life
Never undecided, this feeling will not stop
(for the eX dream)
Drowning in your dream
A rushing companion, this will be the road of tomorrow
I am star light

exDream-From X ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1481446/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1481446/ Tue, 02 Dec 2003 16:39:21 PST
I don't know if it's the desperation in me talking, but I'm doing everything I can from not completely sounding like I've falen for two differnt girls, even though they don't know me that well, and vice-versa. I've made the mistake of doing that in the past, and I think that was a big reason why I've been more down that up in the past year and half.



]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1443179/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1443179/ Sun, 23 Nov 2003 21:22:58 PST
Twenty2- Luck
Today I stopped to think about all the insaniy
I see in this fucking world
Makes me cherich every breath I take
As bad as life sometimes got for me
It's still nothing compared to everday for them
& although I know my life could be better
It also could be so much worse

I've seen the kids dying
& I've seen their mothers crying
This fucking world just blows my mind sometimes

I've had my arms wrapped around the worst of luck
Or so I thought but who gives a fuck?
They give the world for my bad luck
Cause life never got that bad for me
I count my blessings & on wood I knock
Cause although I know m life could be better
It also could be so much worse

I still believe in luck
I'll hold on to my luck
I still believe & I'll hold on to my luck



If anybody knows where to get this song online, PLEASE let me know. I can't use any program like Morpheus or Kazaa here, so that method is out. ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1440059/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1440059/ Sun, 23 Nov 2003 08:50:52 PST , "behave pesky muse!" Also, I can attribute a lot of it to college life, and getting slammed with a ton of work recently, I can survive tho

As for my life in general, yesterday was a TON better than last saturday. I was visiting a Civil War battlefield in the daytime, and during the night, I went (read: forced myself) to go to the swing dance, and damn did I have a good time. I danced with no less than ten girls last night . Although I do wish there was more time in the rest of the semester for me to get to meet them in my daily routines and get to know them better before the break. Ah well, I just need to trust that these things will work themselves out in the end for a reason.

Well, that's all now, I gotta get my tail end working on a reasearch paper for my East Asian history class.

ps: I really won't be able to get to deviations for about a week now, so if I'm slow on commenting, or no comments at all, forgive me, I'm goin home on Tuesday for Thanksgiving, and I'll be busy all break.

http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1425562/ Wed, 19 Nov 2003 21:12:26 PST . Well, I'm out all.

Ben



http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1416352/ Wed, 19 Nov 2003 21:11:38 PST
This is all stemming from a girl I know from the theater ( a different one than I was going on about a few weeks ago)

My thoughts are paradoxical in nature. I don't find her super attractive in terms of body or personality, but I still find myself thiking about her _O: I really can't understand why I'm feeling this way. Is it the side of me who is looking for Ms Right? or could it be the side of me looking for Ms Right Now (the side of me I don't want to bring out. I guess only time will tell, as hanging out with her more will. Later all.

~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1406259/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1406259/ Sat, 15 Nov 2003 19:13:35 PST
I had a chance to have a moment that was mine... I did. But for some reason, it had to be taken away from me. Possibly my greatest opportunity to finally brek away from the shadow of Jim that has been haunting me since my freshman year, and I DON'T GET THE FUCKING CHANCE!!!!!
It's the fucking stoy of my life!!!

So here I go again...another Saturday night with NOTHING for me to do. My life can really suck...

can I please catch a real break??? ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1398552/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1398552/ Thu, 13 Nov 2003 22:11:38 PST
LMN (I'll need to change a few small things about it)
Fate & Luck
The Tempest
Just Another Day
So Much

One that I'm strongly considering is 'Days Ago', but I'm not sure if it expressing a period of time which is in the past has the same punch it did when I posted it. Ah well. Any opinions are appreciated ^_^

Really talented people worth stalking (if you do not do so already )



Also, I would like to takea moment of a wonderful, talented individual who has recently left DA. I do hope that she comes back sometime...
~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1393402/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1393402/ Thu, 13 Nov 2003 12:08:01 PST )



Also, I would like to takea moment of a wonderful, talented individual who has recently left DA. I do hope that she comes back in time..
]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1379868/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1379868/ Sun, 09 Nov 2003 23:03:17 PST
True, this leaves me with almost nothing here. But I never had that much to begin with when the year started. What was said may never be able to be taken back.

Part of me hopes that one day this can all be rectified...and part of me never wants it to surface again ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1377446/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1377446/ Sun, 09 Nov 2003 12:55:11 PST
Limp Bizkit: Re-Arranged

Just think about it
Lately I've been skeptical
Silent when I would used to speak
Distant from all around me
who witness me fail and become weak
Life is overwhelming
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
I'd love to be the one to disappoint you when I don't fall down

[pre-chorus]
but you don't understand when I'm attempting to explain
because you know it all and I guess things will never change
but you might need my hand when falling in your whole
Your disposition ill remember when im letting go of...

[chorus]
you and me we're through and rearranged
It seems that your not satisfied
there's too much on your mind
So you leave and I cant believe all the bullshit that I find
Life is overwhelming
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
I'd love to be the one to disappoint you when I don't fall down

[repeat chours & pre-chourus]

.. you're no good for me
Thank God its over
You make believe that nothing is wrong until you're cryin'
You make believe life is so long until you're dyin'
You make believe that nothing is wrong until you're cryin', cryin' on me
You make believe that life is so long until you're dyin', dyin' on me!!
you think everybody is the same
I don't think that anybody is like you
You ruined everything and you kept fuckin' with me until its over

he WILL get a link to this song tonight

Ben ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1376557/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1376557/ Sun, 09 Nov 2003 08:54:35 PST What was once jealousy, is now a rage....I have had enough of his arrogance, the fat cow of a girlfriend he doesn't even love, although you think he would...

Once she leaves....it's gonna get ugly, I can almost assure you of that right now. If anybody is left wondering what in the hell is going on, I suggest checking out my featured deviation, " Friends", that should be enough of an idea.

Ben ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1366140/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1366140/ Thu, 06 Nov 2003 19:17:13 PST

Nothing much has been happening as of late. It's been a dull few days for me. Heh, that's the thing with my life. It's either nothing happening, or everything that can happen to me (good or bad) happens at once. I feel that I'm entering one of those (and am going to be in ) a down time for a long time. Even though I have a shitload of things I could/should be doing, things seem kinda blah. Could be just me rebounding from the incredible high Godspell gave me.

The poetry slam is coming up in just over a week. I've been seriously debating on what to do for it. 'Countdown' is a definite, ( although I may change it slightly, including the title). I am also considering re-writing 'LMN' to make it less romantic (I'm trying to convey the point that I am looking for a relationship, even though I deeply care about the inspiration of that poem). But any suggestions will be taken into consideration

I feel almost required anymore to leave you with some lyrics.
Here is a snippit of Blind Guardian's 'The Soulforged' and yes, it was written about Dragonlance. Actually, it's about Raistlin Majerie.


Each step I take may it hurt may It ache
Leads me further away from the past
But as long as I breathe (and) each smile on my bleak face
I'm on my way to find back to the peace of mind

And from the flames
As chance would have it
The Soulforged will come into light
And from the flames
As chance would have it
The Soulforged, the stainless will rise

I will never change my mind
I will leave it all behind

Peace out all.

~Ben ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1355993/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1355993/ Mon, 03 Nov 2003 22:36:25 PST I was really enjoying it, and each showing of it made me feel genuinely happy, and sharing time with the people was great.

But now, the future don't look so grand. I didn't get much of a chance (if any) to get to know the people involved...and with my class schedule, and where i live on campus. I think I can honestly say that I have nothing anymore on campus. All the people I could confide in, and really call 'friends' are no longer going here, and it doesn't help that they aren't on AIM anymore...

I have no choice by to go on, blindly stumbling through this haze, praying that I can make it until graduation...

btw, I'm a tad backed up on deviatoins...been realyl busy, and I'm not sure when I'll have the time when I'm awake and actually coherent enough to comment ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1345027/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1345027/ Sat, 01 Nov 2003 08:02:46 PST
I now turn my prospects to November, but all I can see is much of the same. Yeah, this shit shall come to pass, I know it will. I just can't see it happening anytime soon. I feel now that my social life is almost beyond repair here. It was damaged almost beyond repair my freshman year, and put out of its misery my sophomore year. Two causes, my own stupidity, and another individual I'm sure you all are (somewhat) familiar with).

Ever since then, I just feel like I'm on the outside looking in with no matter what I do. And what pisses me off so much is that there is nothing I can do about it, other than just hold on until this shit ends...and I'm getting really tired of it...

and yes, another song. Now, this one I may have (or not) alluded to before, but I believe I never posted it in here. It is 'Tattoo' by Big Mother Thruster/Mercy Drive (same band, different names). This song was a big reason why I was able to pull through my Sophomore year, when I realized that things around me were as bad as they were

Big Mother Thruster-Tattoo

I can see my fantasy, I'mn so consumed in bed
What I see takes over me, I'm blind beyond repair
It takes a hold of me so tight, a greed that does not give
And when she's done she throws me out like junk left in a shelf,yeah

Chorus:
I wanna feel the right
I wanna feel the nights
Around the stars
I wanna take flight
Get back up on my sights
Around the stars

I can see all my words, I can feel the morning breeze
I can see through forests, I can hear her breathe
Walking for a thousand miles, I can see the road
And at the end I find I'm with her, Sharing each's souls,yeah

Chorus

Walking a solo ride
Trying to realize
God I'm so mixed up
I will find you

Chorus 2x

I wanna have the right
I wanna feel the night
Arround the stars

As the ink runs deep, it left me a mark
Sketched my heart... ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1334987/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1334987/ Tue, 28 Oct 2003 19:12:39 PST
But this means that I'm gonna have to put the nose to the grindstone for the next exams in those classes, and I just might have to wait another week before I ask her out...

Onthe good side, I think that even tho I wasn't able to go to the preliminaries, I'll still be able to go to the ACM Programming contest ( I'm almost positive) That, and finally FOX aired the season premire of 24

excuse me:

http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1326893/ Sun, 26 Oct 2003 21:01:15 PST
btw, here's a deviant who is fairly new to DA, and I believe she does some fantastic work


Oh, just some more song lyrics, this is a song I use to
pump myself up. Listening to stuff like this will make it all the much easier to call her.


Standing in the rain, with his head hung low
Couldn't get a ticket, it was a sold out show
Heard the roar of the crowd, he could picture the scene
Put his ear to the wall, then like a distant scream

He heard one guitar, just blew him away
He saw stars in his eyes, and the very next day
Bought a beat up six string in a secondhand store
Didn't know how to play it, but he knew for sure

That one guitar, felt good in his hands
Didn't take long, to understand
Just one guitar, slung way down low
Was one way ticket, only one way to go

So he started rockin'
Ain't never gonna stop
Gotta keep on rockin'
Someday he's gonna make it to the top

And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
He's a juke box hero
He took one guitar, juke box hero, stars in his eyes
Juke box hero, he'll come alive tonight

In a town without a name, in a heavy downpour
Thought he passed his own shadow, by the backstage door
Like a trip through the past, to that day in the rain
And that one guitar made his whole life change

Now he needs to keep rockin'
He just can't stop
Gotta keep on rockin'
That boy has got to stay on top

And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
He's a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
Yeah, juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
With that one guitar he'll come alive
Come alive tonight

Yeah, he's gotta keep rockin'
He just can't stop
Gotta keep on rockin'
That boy has got to stay on top

And be a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
He's a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes
Just one guitar, put stars in his eyes
He's just a juke box hero, aah aah aah
Juke box hero, juke box hero, he's got stars in his eyes
Stars in his eyes

Foreiger- Juke Box Hero ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1319747/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1319747/ Sat, 25 Oct 2003 00:38:03 PDT We rocked the joint!. And at the aftercast party, I realized something, and it could lead to a development or two.

This realization was that I have a fairly sizeable crush on this one freshman girl I met during my brief stint in the costume shop. I do want to ask her to do something with me, but I wonder if I should wait or not. This is because at the last Coffehouse I attended, I saw her there. The upcoming Cofeehouse is the poetry slam. My dillema lies in asking her before or after.

If I ask her before, I won't be kicking myself for missing an opportuniy, should she find somebody in the near future. But, if I wait, I could posibly impress her with my mad poetry skilz

Well, now I head off to bed, buzzed from the performance, and what to do about this girl. Ah well, it just wouldn't be my life without a little drama Night all.

]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1317476/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1317476/ Fri, 24 Oct 2003 19:55:34 PDT
1) Take note that me AIM SN has changed, so if you want to get a hold of me via AIM, it's no longer Mustafa874, but SilverFirePrime.

2) For any transformer collector out there: [link]
I'm trying to get rid of them, and they're at a very reasonable price ( compared to $25 for a set of 6 almost anywhere else, and I can guarntee chase figures)

well, that's all for now,
*goes back off to singing*
"Day by day, day by day, oh dear lord three things I pray...."

]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1311723/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1311723/ Wed, 22 Oct 2003 22:30:05 PDT
BTW, the Yankees SUCK

Here's a bunch of talented writers/artists who you should chek out if you don't do so already

]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1303947/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1303947/ Mon, 20 Oct 2003 21:34:06 PDT
Here's a bunch of talented writers/artists who you should chek out if you don't do so already

]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1296053/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1296053/ Sun, 19 Oct 2003 08:16:15 PDT A lot of it is about the guy net door who has been a friend of mine since freshman year. ( The shithead with the g/f who needs to have his life come crashing down). I have gotten various stories from various people about how he can really be. And if I had known that, I never would have spent as much time with him as I did.
Now, I'm not saying that how I am feeling is completley his fault. I have screwed up with the ladies my fair share of times. But in part to him, I haven't had as many opportunites, as I have been made aware that people( who have graduated now) would have asked me to hang out with them, but did not for fear that my friend would come along.
It has come to my realization of how much a slimeball he really is, and the shit that he's been pulling this past year in particular has pissed me off greatly. However, I am in no position to do anythign about him...so all I can do is wait..until the crash..whenever it may be....
I guess I shoudl get studying right now ( as if it would make any difference )
As is becoming the trend, I've found a song that I feel relates to the situation a bit.


If you could say something that fascinated me
the air in your small world might clear to breathe
Lamens terms
kKing of fools
Illiterate you'd rather be in this back seat
Playing to the gallery and they remember all their lines
They all remember the dirt

Chorus:
I'm through humoring you
I am learning to hate you it's true
I'm through humoring you
I've been drinking and sleeping
My enemies' holiday ends

Identified we speak untruths
Because there's strength in numbers
Forced to relate in a world depraved
Identify alone we speak in tongues
Give me lamens terms
The air in this small world might clear
but they won't remember you
They will remember the dirt,
The joke

Chorus

Lamens terms
King of fools
Walk with you
Walk with you ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1285990/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1285990/ Thu, 16 Oct 2003 18:18:06 PDT
1) Seeing one of the specific guys I live with have his life come crashing down around him, and have him really learn what it's like to struggle. The guy feels so damn cocky ever since he cheated on his girfriend, and she forgave him. I think this speaks volumes on him and her for that matter. The kid needs to come back down to earth, and now.

2) This may sound cruel, but bear with me. In all my relationships, I have been the one who has gotten dumped. For once, I would like to be the one who dumps the girl. Now, I would never get a girl and then just dump her to take revenge on all the shit I've been through. I'm not that kind of person. I'm talking about me realizing that the relationship isn't going well. It would be heartbreaking for me, but at least I'd see it coming. I just feel that I could rebound faster, and be able to build off of the good alot quicker then getting dumped.

Well, you all can agree/disagree with me as vehemently as you like, I just needed to get this out of me. Forgive me, as I am mucho pissed right now, and I haven't gotten this bad in a long time.... I really don't want to feel this way, I really don't....

Stabbing Westward- Darkest Days

There are times when I'm just a shell
When I do not feel anything for anyone
All I feel is hollow and bruised
Used up and misused
Forced to be someone I don't want to be
Have I failed somehow or some way
Will the weight of today finally pull me down to drown
In the depths of despair
Where I am alone
Except for my rage

My rage
My pain
I hate my darkest days
My rage
My pain
I hate my darkest days
My rage
My pain
I hate my darkest days
My rage
My pain
I hate my darkest days
My darkest days

Later all.... ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1275386/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1275386/ Tue, 14 Oct 2003 08:57:05 PDT But there's more. Godspell is hitting its final stretch, meaning at least 6 hours (prolly more cuz of a dress rehersal) of rehersals this week. And that damn dress rehersal is on the day before I have two exams So who knows how late that'll go.
Add in a concert choir rehersal for two hours on Monday, and you have got one stressed out college guy here. Well, you all take care. Please understand if I don't get around to comenting...hell, even reading/looking at your deviations.

Until when things become semi-sane again... ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1259491/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1259491/ Fri, 10 Oct 2003 13:09:39 PDT
Hmm...I would have to say any kind of bean. I've never liked the texture of them..and I thought they tasted about 3 times as worse!

2)What was the most rewarding thing you did as a teenager?(years 13 to 19) Why?

Defintely surviving my first two years of college. They were such a physical and emotional test for me. I now think that because I got through them without failing a course ( came close), or having to drop a course because of non-academic issues, I know that I can get through anything.

3)What was your favorite pet(if you had one) or what pet would you like to have (if you didn't have one)? Why?

Well, the only pet I've really had was a dog,and the dogs have been a family pet. I like the way dogs can seem to feel human emotions, and that they always form a bond with me

4)Which would you rather partake in: Long drive in the afternoon, or a cold night under the full moon? Why?

Cold night. Under the moon, you don't need to focus on anything but your own inner feelings. And if I would happen to be with a special somebody, it's one helluva lot easier to kiss under the moon then whie driving

5)Pepsi or Coke? Why?
Pepsi. I guess it comes from High school, because that's the soft drink distributor that sponsored all the vending machines, and Coke was distributed at all the jobs I worked. I got tired of it after a while. Not to mention, diet Coke makes me sick for some reason, while Diet Pepsi does nothin' to me

Rules:
1 -- Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 -- You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 -- You'll include this explanation.
5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed. ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1254813/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1254813/ Thu, 09 Oct 2003 11:24:15 PDT really mixed up. Not sure quite what to do, who to talk to about things, too much work to do as well. Thankfully fall break is this weekend, but that also means that basically nobody will be here if I get really bored and want to do something ( good chance of that happening). It doesn't help that the next two weeks are gonan be so damn hellish with the crunch time for Godspell, and midterm time/round 2 of exams, I need to get crakcing on papers, and a job hunt...I'm debating checking myself into the local insane asylum to just save myself the trouble!!! o.O. In other things, I've bene listening carefully to my songs, and a few hit close to home. Here's the more relevant of the two. The other one is 'Jaded' by Mest

Smile Empty Soul- Bottom of a Bottle

Been scared and lonely
I've asked myself is something wrong with you
My girlfriend told me
I need some time alone to deal with issues

But something makes me carry on
It's difficult to understand
Why I always wanna fly

I do it for the drugs
I do it just to feel alive
I do it for the love
That I get from the bottom of a bottle

You always call me
And ask me how I make it through the day
I'm always fallin'
I guess it's just god's way of making me pay

But something makes me carry on
It's difficult to understand, why I always wanna fly

I do it for the drugs
I do it just to feel alive
I do it for the love
That I get from the bottom of a bottle
I do it for the drugs
I do it just to feel alive
I do it for the love
That I get from the bottom of a bottle

When I, I wonder why I try
And I, I wonder why I bother
And I, I wonder why I cry
Why I, I go through all this trouble

I do it for the drugs
I do it just to feel alive
I do it for the love
That I get from the bottom of a bottle
I do it for the drugs
I do it just to feel alive
I do it for the love
That I get from the bottom of a bottle
Well, that's all from now. Peace out. ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1248253/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1248253/ Tue, 07 Oct 2003 18:34:19 PDT _< . I got the old 'let's be freinds' deal put upon my shoulders tonight at dinner. But I am not bitter. I am glad that Susannah was nice neough to be honest with me, cuzif she had done this two months later, I would've felt like a heel for draggin her along when she didn't want to be. Well, that's all for now, expect a deviation from me. I have a song currently in the works about this situation, but I need to do some work before I can complete it. Later ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1239119/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1239119/ Sun, 05 Oct 2003 12:13:54 PDT ) Now, as cool as that was, the real gratness was only beginning.

On friday night, I found myslef drawing a close to a freshman girl in the Christain Fellowship. I in no way intended it to happen...it just did. Well, I was bored, so I gave her a call up. She came over at 11:30, and we proceded to watch Labriyinth. Afterwards, we went to my room and began talking. It's kinda hard to explain exactly what happned..but we just felt a conenction with ourselves, and with God that night. I haven't felt this way in such a long time

I'm gonna be repeating myself from my last entry, but I am flabbergasted with the work of God right now. All his deeds are for the better, no matter how bad they seem. ANd I am going to savor this moment for all that I can

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy. My
heart is yours to fill or burst or break or bury or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.
Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers and
the time on the clock when we realized
it's so late and the walk that we shared together.
The street was wet and the gate was locked
so I jumped it and let you in and you stood at the door
with your hands on my waist and you kissed me,
but you meant it and I knew that you meant it,
that you meant it, that you meant it,
and I knew, that you meant it, that you meant it.

Dashboard Confessional- Hands Down ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1233761/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1233761/ Fri, 03 Oct 2003 22:28:10 PDT
On another note...I found a song that I can relate to..and I think it also sums up the week in a sense. It's 'The Cage' by Sonata Arctica. To me...the lyrics remind me of a person who feels so caondemend..and for a time is set free..then back to condemnation....and back to being free..ect.
I think the music of the song itself adds to this feeling

A lifetime ago, with frozen eyes they closed the door.
Suddenly I realized what locks are for. No trusting them anymore, lights -
are - out.

Empty the stare, innocent and unaware, dragged out from my home ,my lair.
Earmarked me, hurt me, burned me.

The walls around me, eyes surround me, feed my fear again.
I must be freed or I will die before the harvest moon, my friend.
I do not have another year in me, you've gotta set me free.

The dream is alive, I can run up the hills every night,
go around and see another side of the tree.
Freedom has a meaning for me, howl with me.

Fear in the dark, I advice you. You can not see the eyes, they grow behind
you....
It's my song they now sing to you.
You stand no chance....

They'll kill for me, steal back my freedom, set me free, it's my minions vs.
thee.
Fiery the vengeance, hate will drain me.

The walls around me, eyes surround me, feed my fear again.
I must be freed or I will die before the harvest moon, my friend.
I do not have another year in me, you've gotta set me free.

The dream is alive, I can run up the hills every night,
go around and see another side of the tree.
All I want is to be untamed and free, howl and (dream).

The dream is alive, with the moon on the hills every night,
run around and see another side of the dream.
Freedom has a meaning for me, you can't tame me...

You will remember the day you crossed my path.
leave me without a guard and you feel my wrath.
What you have done to me has made me bitter and cruel.
I'll see that all the hate you spread returns to you, you, to you...

The walls around me, eyes surround me, feed my fear again.
I must be freed or I will die before the harvest moon, my friend.
I do not have another year in me, you've gotta set me free.

The dream is alive, I can run up the hills every night,
go around and see another side of the tree.
All I want is to be untamed and free, howl and (dream).

The dream is alive, with the moon on the hills every night,
run around and see another side of the dream.
Freedom has a meaning for me, you can't tame me...

The dream is alive, I can run up the hills every night,
go around and see another side of the tree.
All I want is to be untamed and free, howl and (dream).

The dream is alive, with the moon on the hills every night,
run around and see another side of the dream.
Freedom has a meaning for me..


well, thats all for now. I will write again in here when I deem necesary. Until then, may all your dog demons sit, and all your Megadeuces arise when called upon!!! ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1214650/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1214650/ Sun, 28 Sep 2003 19:57:20 PDT
See, I went on a retreat with the Catholic Campus Ministries this weekend, and I had a revelation. I now believe that God wants me to follow him. I've been slowly coming to this conclusion the past 18mos, but nothing like this weekend. Now, I'm not going to go all fanatcial on my devs. Heck, you may hardly notice ( outside of a few posting here and there), btu he is still with me.

"If God wants you to follow him bad enough, he will stop lightly knocking on your door shortly after you fail to notice him. He then proceeds to barge your door down with whatever objects he can get his hands on, and then tosses you in a cold shower, and you're only wearing your underwear. Funny thing is, you feel pretty damn good after that shower"

-Me ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1204408/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1204408/ Thu, 25 Sep 2003 21:43:05 PDT
As far as my love life goes...I think Matt Foley put it best...JACK SQUAT.

In other news, this past week I've been getting back into Transformers of all things. I got one over Ebay..and bought anohter one in Wal-Mart the other day. As if I needed another thing to start collecting

Well, that is all. And until next time, may all your Dog Demons sit, and all your megadeuces arise when called ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1183444/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1183444/ Sat, 20 Sep 2003 11:27:00 PDT The bulk of the hurricane hit west of here, so I didn't have to bail out of my suite here. (thankfully). I'm almost certainly going to audition for the all amle a capella group here ( Drop the Octave). My only problem is finding a song. You see, there weren't too many oldies made for baritones.... I found one, (Red Rubber Ball by The Cyrkle). If anybody else knows an oldie (or upbeat song..not too modern though) that's good for a baritone voice, I'm up for recomendations!!!

Until next time, may all your Dog Demons sit, and your Megaduces arise when called ! ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1173513/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1173513/ Wed, 17 Sep 2003 17:52:27 PDT ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1170637/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1170637/ Tue, 16 Sep 2003 21:54:03 PDT
[link]
(Sir Percival was my favorite)

As for my feeling..well, it's kinda hard to say right now....I just can't accurately describe my feelings twoards anything. I guess it's just that I've had too much to do, and that I will be having too much on my plate in the near future...(oh, and I'm looking to perhaps make it even more full o.O) well..that's all for now.

Until next time, may all your Dog Demons sit, and your Megaduces arise when called ! ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1157235/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1157235/ Sat, 13 Sep 2003 10:11:42 PDT
I've been down for so long..I just wish life could turn around instantly..but no. I have to wait..and wait some more. This is becoming maddening!

People getting life's greatest rewards who don't deserve them? What kind of fucked up world are we living in!

Meh..that's enough of my ramblnig for now...

Metallica- Trapped under Ice

I don't know how to live trough this hell
Woken up, I'm still locked in this shell
Frozen soul, frozen down to the core
Break the ice, I can't take anymore

Freezing
Can't move at all
Screaming
Can't hear my call
I am dying to live
Cry out
I'm trapped under the ice

Crystallized, as I lay here and rest
Eyes of glass stare directly at death
From deep sleep I have broken away
No one knows, no one hears what I say

Freezing
Can't move at all
Screaming
Can't hear my call
I am dying to live
Cry out
I'm trapped under the ice

Scream from my soul
Fate, mystified
Hell, forever more
No release from my cryonic state
What is this? I've been stricken by fate
Wrapped up tight, cannot move, can't break free
Hand of doom has a tight grip on me

Freezing
Can't move at all
Screaming
Can't hear my call
I am dying to live
Cry out
I'm trapped under the ice ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1149276/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1149276/ Wed, 10 Sep 2003 21:52:32 PDT So that was a boost.

Now, it's all a matter of somehow gettign through this weekend emotionally intact, as my friend who lives in the room right next to mine is having his girlfriend over for the weekend.

I know that shouldn't bother me....becuae he has his own room and all. I guess it's all a big glaring reminder of how lucky he has been, (and he's been damn lucky as of late), and how unlucky I have been with the ladies (no need to go into details here).

My love life is stalled, and there is no real kick start in site. Part of me feels like taking a really drastic step...but I also feel like it's a tad foolish as well. It's something that will need to be figured out though.

Until next time, may all your Dog Demons sit, and your Megaduces arise when called ! ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1138639/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1138639/ Sun, 07 Sep 2003 19:09:08 PDT ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1135738/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1135738/ Sat, 06 Sep 2003 21:57:18 PDT ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1132565/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1132565/ Fri, 05 Sep 2003 22:18:36 PDT and present), I dedicate this song to you: YOU ALL FUCKING MISSED OUT!!!!!!

Linkin Park- Faint

I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can’t help the fact that everybody can see
these scars
I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe
this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got

[Chorus]
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)

I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident
Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make
sense
I am what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear
me out
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got

[Chorus]
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)

(No)
(Hear me out now)
(You're gonna listen to me, like it or not)
(Right now)
(Hear me out now)
(You're gonna listen to me, like it or not)
(Right now)

(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)

[Chorus]
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)

[Chorus]
(I can't feel the way I did before)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)
(Time won't heal this damage anymore)
(Don't turn your back on me)
(I won't be ignored)

I can't feel
I won't be ignored
Time won't heal
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1126176/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1126176/ Wed, 03 Sep 2003 20:52:51 PDT
Wishing for an eternal sky
A vast sea of endless dreams

Emotions will brighten
Emotions will cloud
Nothing comes easy
But I'll keep on believing
Hope will turn into wings
You still don't realize
It'll guide you through the map of tomorrow

So, stand up to the wind
As the tears dry from your cheeks
Look into the distant sky
And see yourself in your dreams

Catch a rainbow
And chase a shooting star
Like a shapeless cloud
Your adventure lies on an unknown path

So, stand with your face against the wind
As you sing with a smile on your face
Wishing for an eternal sky
A vast sea of endless dreams

Wishing for an Eternal Sky(Translated), by Kazuko Hamano. ]]> ~questor842 http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1112769/ http://questor842.deviantart.com/journal/1112769/ Sat, 30 Aug 2003 13:28:12 PDT ~questor842