http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:quette&section=today deviantART RSS for by:quette en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 24 Nov 2009 18:09:32 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/26598022/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/26598022/ Fri, 14 Aug 2009 20:42:17 PDT not knowing what state (or town) you're in
with your heart tied to your tongue
seeking battles they say impossible to be won
carrying a rose in the empty space where most carry a gun
carrying a rose in the empty space where most carry a gun

-[tbc maybe]-

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/21667080/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/21667080/ Tue, 25 Nov 2008 16:09:25 PST music they say it's 'that crack music' but I know better because
we are forever reading off the lines on the lines that rockstars sniff snort sing
but we just puff like dragons
throw back a few and
nothing compares to the high that i get off of you and it's smooth because you get off on me too i'd say that's love, wouldn’t you? it’s true
but I digress as I undress my state of mind within the continent of time i am a criminal in the making
it’s only 7:14 and the night’s mine for the taking but
i feel rest-less i can’t live this like i used too
this life’s become untrue – too much space with too little room to
be
i’m craving cramped spaces having too little having to make it all out of will of the mind
it’s a sign of the times that just doesn’t do
it for me anymore

I’m “home.”

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/21315975/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/21315975/ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 10:46:38 PST where the demons died in your arms
and the angels sucked the dagger clean
we danced where the tide met the city
but it was in a puddle that I lost my balance
and crossed to the other side of reality
patience, pretty
i am not your toy
or puppet
you can't play with me and leave
but i could fly away
just as easily
oh so easily
you should
fear
me

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20153942/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20153942/ Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:57:43 PDT where my heart was torn out
where I had my first kiss
and the first prickling of doubt
took hold

let it unfold
and surround
under a violet sky

and each passing stop light
reminds me
of everything
I thought I could not be
but won't you look at me now?
my hands on the wheel
with a song on my lips
in harmony
with the stereo
and the dream reeling
ahead of me
bounding
nimble in the headlights

let it unfold
and surround
under an indigo sky

my heart is breaking
with the lines on the road
each one
a mark of a thought
touched upon
and let go
free to escape
into the jungle of the night
but this time
the chains
are on me and mine
tied to tomorrow
and I resign
to look ahead

let it unfold
and surround
under a dark sky

just know

that I'll miss this


this moment now

let it unfold

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20129472/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20129472/ Sun, 24 Aug 2008 11:55:34 PDT Or...or when you hear a song for the first time and it fits how you feel exactly? It's like finding the print of your heart in someone else's words. and it makes you feel less lonely.

Yeah...that's the reason I want to be a musician. And everytime I feel that power that a song can have over me, even though I know I suck and never will reach that level, I am even more sure that it's what I want to dedicate my life to. To create a haven for at least one person in one moment - to make even a minute of someone's life sweeter...that would be something to me.

If it makes you less sad I will die by your hand. I hope you find out what you are, I already know what I am. And if it makes you less sad we'll start talking again. You can tell me how vile I already know that I am.

I'll grow old and start acting my age. I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate. A crown of gold, a heart thats harder than stone but it hurts a whole lot and its missed when its gone.

Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive, I'm only hoping as time goes on you can forget.
- Brand New

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20120019/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20120019/ Sat, 23 Aug 2008 20:32:38 PDT My mother is pissed off at me.
I've been having nightmares all week.
I feel like talking, but the words aren't there.
Can I still show you who I am?
Too tired to sleep.
Too crazy to even dream of sanity.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20082946/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20082946/ Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:46:13 PDT .<] I wish I could keep him with the pizza.

I want someone
provocative and talkative
but it's so hard
when you're shallow as a shower...
Caaatchy song.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20067262/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20067262/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:05:08 PDT
am i loud and clear or am i breaking up?
am i still your charm or am i just bad luck?
are we getting closer or are we just getting more lost?
ill show you mine if you show me yours first
lets compare scars ill tell you whose is worse

lets unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words
we live on front porches and swing life away
we get by just fine here on minimum wage
if love is a labor ill slave til the end
i wont cross these streets until you hold my hand
- Rise Against

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20062009/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20062009/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:54:51 PDT -Choose a singer/band/group.
-Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group.
-Tag 6 more people (let them know they've been tagged):
Er...anyone that wants to write one up, feel free. I don't like telling people what to do.

I pick: As Tall As Lions

*Are you male or female?
Song For Luna

*Describe yourself!
Break Blossom

*What do people feel when they're around you?
Milk and Honey

*How would you describe your previous relationship?
Breakers

*Describe your current relationship.
Kickin' Myself

*Where would you like to be now?
My Glowing Morning Dreams

*How do you feel about love?
If I'm Not Out Burning

*What's your life like?
Into The Flood

*What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
Love, Love, Love

*Say something wise.
Be Here Now

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20057332/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20057332/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 10:18:25 PDT
-I am of the school of thought that you can write about whatever you feel like regardless of whether or not you have experienced it. Yes, I know that makes it a less authentic, less realistic piece, but I do it, because it's how I quench my curiousity.

If you don't like my work, don't waste your time reading it. Hit the 'back' button (you know, the one that's typically in the upper left corner of your window screen.) This is the internet for god's sake; for every person that writes shit like I do, there's a billion others you can go read and satisfy your desire for authenticity with.
And why the hell would you make assumptions? You are at the mercy of what the person is willing to admit in writing. Your knowledge is limited to what the person allows you to see. Even, I, being the proud person I am, have enough sense to know that.

Let me save everyone some time and write it all out here:
I am an arrogant, selfish, whiny, repetitive bitch with one beastly temper.
And guess what?
I have no plans on changing any time soon and that comes out in my work. I'm happy with myself. I'm not asking other people to be.
How and why I have chosen to become that way is my business.
I am not asking for your criticism of who I am as a person or what I say.
Thank you very much, I already have a shrink for that.
My idea of constructive comments are ones that actually give you advice on the usage of literary devices or ways to improve your style, not ones that say 'go out and fuck some people and snort some so your writing can be more genuine.'

I write the worst sides of my personality out on paper so I'm not as unpleasant to deal with in real life (where it counts.)

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20049527/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20049527/ Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:53:42 PDT Really.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20039696/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20039696/ Tue, 19 Aug 2008 11:02:48 PDT Have you ever woken up, and even though you can't remember a damn detail, you know that your mind was invaded by dreams the whole night? And they weren't nice. And they weren't gentle. They were some of the most terrible scenarios and some of your grittiest fears come to life, but...you don't know what they were. You just wake up with the bitter afterthoughts, feeling like less of a person with less of an existence in less of a world.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20031089/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20031089/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 21:02:06 PDT Dear child, I only did to you what the sparrow
did to you; I am old when it is fashionable to be
young; I cry when it is fashionable to laugh.
I hated you when it would have taken less courage
to love.
- C. Bukowski

I buried my heart in the wind.
It was swept up on the coast
and sent back to me again.
[to be continued...]

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20024511/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20024511/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 14:33:27 PDT And if you keep on trying to reverse it,
you will eventually
crash.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20019875/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20019875/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 10:02:29 PDT talk like a cynic
love like a romantic
fuck like an addict

I
get all my ugliness out
so when it gets quiet
it's just the light in me that shines

I
like people that get to the point-
-part ink, part metal, part skin
that wear sin on their sleeves
unedited
the kind that would make you laugh
even when you're crying
because if there's one thing
one thing i've learned
it's that the people that
talk the toughest

love the strongest


my god sits in the back of the limousine
my god comes in a wrapper of cellophane
my god pouts on the cover of the magazine
my god's a shallow little bitch trying to make the scene

i have arrived and this time you should believe the hype
i listened to everyone now i know that everyone was right
i'll be there for you as long as it works for me
i play a game it's called insincerity

starfuckers
starfuckers
starfuckers incorporated
starfuckers

i am every fucking thing and just a little more
i sold my soul but don't you dare call me a whore
and when i suck you off not a drop will go to waste
it's really not so bad you know once you get past the taste (asskisser)

starfuckers
starfuckers
starfuckers incorporated
starfuckers

all the pain
how did you think we'd get by without you?
you're so vain
i'll bet you think this song is about you - NIN

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20010570/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20010570/ Sun, 17 Aug 2008 19:15:50 PDT Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
- Neil Gaiman

Writers do it better because they like to go deep.
But he says it so well, neh?

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20002549/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/20002549/ Sun, 17 Aug 2008 10:50:25 PDT
It seems these days people take one of three roles in life - the victim, the antagonist, or the don't-give-a-fuck.

I've played the first and don't play on ever trying it again - not even as an understudy.
I've always had a fascination with the second.
And I've flirted on and off with the idea of being the third.
But...
...I'm thinking I'm going to make a role of my own, because I'm tired of the same old conversations and predictability of it all.
No one is/can be the hero. Not worth trying. We're all too human for that.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19994722/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19994722/ Sat, 16 Aug 2008 20:55:54 PDT i've got nothing up my sleeve
just your taste on my tongue
and the quake in my knees
i never was one to please
the audience
but for you
my love
is no great expense
so let's
keep the secret
between you and me

I never found out why you left him
But this answer begs that question
Too blind to see tomorrow
Too broke to beg or borrow
Young and stupid
Left wide open
Hearts are wasted
Lives are broken

One more point of contention
I need some intervention
Approached with vague intentions
Betray my short attention
Span the distance
Bridge the border
Beg forgiveness
Round the corner

Everytime I look for you the sun
goes down
And I stumble when this whole thing
runs aground
I left another message, you are
never around
But everytime I look for you the sun goes
down once more
Will the last one out please shut the door

More time apart will give you
A few more months to argue
Is this too much to live through?
It always seemed too far to
Drive the point home
Send more letters
Pray tomorrow
Ends up better - blink-182

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19961007/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19961007/ Thu, 14 Aug 2008 22:05:12 PDT I am running out of ammunition
For the Soldiers in my head
They only love me with conditions
that none of you will know until I'm dead

and When I wake without her
It's like a sun without a cloud
Beautifully serene and gentle
and Not something of which I'm proud

I have always said that pointless races
Should never be run at all
They should be kept away and chained up
Never mentioned at all

but I can't see the point in
Walking like I do
I get from A to B and back again
but all I'm doing is passing time

I liked it, I liked it, it scared you so...
I loved it I loved, it burnt me so..
I lost it, I'm losing everywhere that I go
- Guillemots

Sit with me.
We'll listen to music til the sun comes up.
Or fall asleep in each other's arms.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19930393/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19930393/ Wed, 13 Aug 2008 08:31:13 PDT
]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19912120/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19912120/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 08:40:01 PDT in no condition


to


ride

a
bicycle.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19879430/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19879430/ Sun, 10 Aug 2008 13:26:29 PDT One for the bar tab two for the shine
lets go to your car do another line
barely trust 'em they're all puppets
love is nothin' scared of success
One for the bass two for the drums
last call gonna take whatever comes
barely trust 'em they're all puppets
love is nothin' scared of success
- Atmosphere


How many hearts would you break to protect your own?
They say the level of your grief equates to the level at which you can feel joy. The power of your love matches the power of your hate. Well...I didn't sign up for this notch of emotion, kid. I just want to get by the way you do. Not give a fuck, just let it all bleed through.

I've been reminiscing a great deal lately. Maybe because I'm coming up on this mega-life-change in a couple weeks and I feel like I have to start putting the armor up. Because the last time I was pitted in the midst of so many people I literally barely came out alive (and I'm not exaggerating, trust me).

Like a fool, I used to give everything away. What you see, is survival - not at it fittest, but at its most necessary state of being. I have no choice but to be honest about the way it is. Take it or leave it.

Haha, I'm actually not in that serious of a mood. 0.o But I am at the same time. I feel...delirious. And I didn't smoke/eat/drink anything to make me feel this way. I think I was probably was born with some kind of weird drug in my veins. Sometimes, I get all stoned-like when I'm not or feel drunk without tasting a drop. Oh nos. They're gonna make me illegal. But that'd probably make more people want me, which would be sweeeet. But for the wrong reasons, which is...not so great. People have always liked me for the wrong reasons. Maybe not now. I don't know. I can't predict the future, can you?

People don't want nice. They don't want someone who listens. They just want you to be a looking glass in front of which they can test out their best moves, clothes, and expressions. Before they move on to who they really want. Well I'm not gonna play the mirror anymore. Don't try to see yourself in my face. If you want elite flavors, go fuck a princess. If you want the bare truth, you can come to my place. [My mind's unhinged, so the door's always open.] But if you leave, I'm not waiting for your return. I've burned enough days looking for the lost.

Learn what's important to you.

I’ve got a restraining order
Against Satan’s daughter
And I keep it at the bottom of this Jamison and water
- Atmosphere

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19868847/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19868847/ Sat, 09 Aug 2008 20:24:12 PDT if the strange was seductive
the truth tantalizing
if a fiery temper
didn't make you run
then maybe, baby,
i could be your one
but let's not lie
to each other
tonight
leave the light on
and see me for what i am
hear me for what i say
i know
you won't stay
no one ever does

Feh. Sometimes I have to smack myself upside the head and to remember that I'm not in the self-pitying stages of my life anymore. >.< But sadly, sometimes I regress. Not self-pity maybe. But sadness over what has been lost.

- Will you still love me when I am sad? When I am too tired to speak? When I can only hide in the crook of your arm? My tears aren't poison. They've pricked my hands and stained my face and they have not caused the ruin that you now see. My tears have saved me; then why do you run?

- I saw this heart-melting sight today. This guy in a Circuit City tee was at Barnes & Noble, and he was cute, yeah, but what put a smile on my face was seeing him pick up a copy of Breaking Dawn. Now personally I'm not a fan of the series anymore (admittedly, in my younger days, I used to be), and I know he could have been picking it up for a girlfriend or a sibling, but I just wanted to think that this guy, this good-looking tech fella was actually unashamedly a fan of a series that is dominantly preyed upon by young girls. See, I just have this thing for guys that like things that are made fun of by a lot of people or are considered to be more exclusive to females. I think it really takes balls to just ignore all the stereotyping that exists in the way books, movies, etc. are catagorized and just openly admit to liking something unconventional.
Oh, and I have the hots for dorky types, not gonna lie.


- I love hoodies. When you wear them, it feels like someone's giving you this big, fuzzy, happiness-inducing hug.

- I think it's weird when people get flabbergasted look when you pay on the behalf of everyone. I never do it to be all 'look at me, I've got cash!' 'cause I don't really. I just do it because, honestly, to me, money is no big deal regardless of whether I have a lot or little at any given time. I'm not gonna be the one to say that money doesn't buy happiness, because I think for some people it does. But not for me. To me, they genuinely are bits of paper. And it's no great act of kindness if I take the tab or pay for both of our movie tickets or whatever. For me, cold hard cash is not a way of expressing love.

Maybe it's because [okay, prepare yourself and pull out the therapist couch, Sigmund Freud accent, and analyzing glasses, I'm in a ranting mood tonight 0.o] whenever my dad gets angry he always pulls out the whole 'well i pay for this or i pay for that.' The level of guilt I've felt in the past has made me completely apathetic towards money. I never...knew what to do when he said that. Should I...stop eating? Should I move out of the house with nothing but the clothes on my back? Money is a cage and nothing more.

I will live within my means at all times so I never burden anyone, but I will not hesitate to pay for myself and another if I can. Money without strings - that's the way it is with me. If I pay, you owe me nothing.

Now, if I give you a mixtape or something to that effect, I've given you a piece of myself. I give bits of me away in little pieces. And I never have expected anything in return (which has screwed me over, let me tell you), but just know, that you have a part of me when I give you something random like that.

I don't know. I'm not really thinking much else right now. Just...coooastin.

- Ooh, I kind of have this dream, of having this beachside restaruant that plays music from when it opens to late in the night. And it would just be open during beach season. And ideally, the venue would make so much money (I'd make sure the musicians get a good share too of course) that I wouldn't have to work the rest of the year. I could just travel and play music. That'd be niiiiice.

Maybe.

One day.

- Oh Gawd. This guy's voice is sex tied up and dipped in chocolate. Mm. I just...I want to have that affect on people when they hear me sing. Like...a voice that just reaches out and grabs your heart and your soul and your body.
But I just want to give them that relief. The way I feel when I hear a new quality song for the first time...or the way I feel when I'm listening to an old favorite...or when I'm singing something that just hammers against my heart to be let out. It's...the best feeling. Like true love and pleasure all mixed into one. If I...ever hav... ]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19851483/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19851483/ Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:30:13 PDT On the other hand, those super extreme hand dryers are extremely amusing. I kind of wonder what would happen if you would stick your face under one - extreme botox maybe?

- I wish there was a signal on your car (similar to your turn signal) that alerted the person behind you that the reason you had to slow down or stop so suddenly was due to the idiot driving in front of you. Perhaps a glowing image of a babboon would be an apt indicator symbol.

- I want to bake cookies at 3 am just because. But not by myself. Someone has to come over and bake with me so I can start a flour war and leave the kitchen in a mess.

- Chocolate gelatooooooo. I want. -sadface-

- I have come up with my very own happy dance for everytime I remember that college is only in a couple weeks. ^^

- There are very plump pidgeons on my to-be college campus. They're delightfully rotund.

Aaaand, that's all for now.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19842788/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19842788/ Fri, 08 Aug 2008 10:01:33 PDT
Do whatever the fuck you want. I'm not going to edit and backtrack by using overtried statements like-
-drink responsibly
-fuck responsibly
-smoke responsibly

No. Here's what I think:
-drink however
-fuck however
-smoke whatever/however

But once you're done...once you've had your hit, once you've downed the bottle, once you're lying sweaty and naked on the bed...DEAL with the consequences responsibly. And that means, not letting yourself being overriden with remorse to the point where you just become the backwash of society. It means, feeling the pain, and moving on to deal with the source. Don't say that the information was never given to you, because the truth of the matter is that information will be present in the universe, open to access, at all times. And we are all born with that natural curiousity which propels us to know. The same curiousity that drives us to experiment can drive us to know the consequences before we engage.

And as a system, we shouldn't be blinding the next generation to these substances and practices. Because in the end, they're going to form their own opinions whether you like it or not. You can't force abstinence on people. You can't expect the drinking age to actually hold merit. And frankly, everyone's gonna have their own opinion on the legalization of weed and whatnot (personally, I gof or legalize). The only 'should' in the education of youth, should be teaching them how to face the consequences of their actions, because consequences will always exist no matter what is deemed as legal and what is not.

I understand that it is not quite so simplistic, but the fact of the matter is, as long as we view ignorance as something to be pitied, we will never truly become educated.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19833747/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19833747/ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 19:23:27 PDT
Go oggle her lovely gallery, if you haven't already:
[link]

I'm straight, and I'm still in love with her.

Also go look at Mr. Daniel's as well if you haven't already:
[link]

And there's no reason not to be attracted to him regardless of your orientation. He's a catch.

I'm hyperrrrrr. I consumed many Sour Patch Kids. Yummy. I wanna do some crazy things. Actually, I always wanna do some crazy things. S'in my nature.

It's semi-depressing to go to the movies yourself, but when the lights go down and the film starts, it's all good. Pineapple Express was hilarious.

"It's like...God's vagina."

Rawr.

I hope I don't crash. I hate it when I crash. It's scary. I'm tired of scary things. >.<

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19822775/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19822775/ Thu, 07 Aug 2008 11:14:23 PDT
[link]

He's definately one of my favorite writers & hope for quality new literature in a world that is otherwise saturated with crappy twobit wannabes (sorry, I'm in my cynical kicks right now). I mean it. Go. Now.

(I get bossy sometimes. Heh.)

_________________________________________________________

without you
I
am
complete
without you
I
roam
free
the best kind of love
is one where
you both know you're free to leave
but neither reaches for the key
the only things that are opened
are the buttons of her blouse
and the zipper of his jeans
everything else
is irrelevant
when you've found a universe in
one
other
being

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19815021/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19815021/ Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:16:38 PDT It's the plan of most
To discover that magnificent ghost
When did I get perverted
And my innocent eyes diverted from the view so grand
Imbued with distractions
I'm greedy like Senior Babbitt
I'm just chasing that electric rabbit
I'm a reluctant rebel
I just want to be Aaron Neville
With a crown on my head
And my denim shirt all dark with sweat
I'm just pushing the paint around
On advice from your lying mouth
You touched me and then you ran
And left a sad Peter Pan
All alone and awkward
But a transformation, I swear it will occur
- Smashing Pumpkins

______________________________________________________

old piece:

you see rules and i see walls you see chains and i see saws
jealously watching boys and girls of the west sliding in booze and drowning in sex - here the engines roar feel the purr of the moon but it's all deafened by the quiet of your room - would you laugh if i told you i would have done the same - caught the blame - hid my age and name - but i didn't want anyone to be trapped in the frame of who i really am and what i would do - i didn't want to make my mother cry - don't think i could take the pain in her eyes - do you think i'm a coward because i couldn't lie? - and still i can't live the truth

they teach you about the American dream - they tell you what you could reach and who you could be - then they tell you, 'doll, it ain't gonna be cheap' - you have to give away yourself before they let you be - an ending steeped in irony - that's what they settle for - but not me - no not me - i promise you i'll be free
one day

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19806968/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19806968/ Wed, 06 Aug 2008 10:56:13 PDT
If you think about it, the noble intention of most vegetarians is that discomfort at nourishing one's own body at the expense of another living creature. But in our modern day society (and throughout time) societies and individuals are continually built on the destruction of other societies and individuals. True, maybe those societies and individuals haven't appeared to be as cute and fluffy as the animals we protect, but that is not to say that they are exempt from a right of protection. Particularly because they are are self-same speciies that are being exploited. The clothes we wear, the manner in which we acquire any of our food, the land we live on all is equivalent to flipping the bird to some small town in the middle of what most people would classify as Who-Knows-Where.

I'm not saying sweatshops are equivalent to envisioning these worn out people on our dinner tables, roasted in garlic and served with a side of mashed potatoes, but it certainly does have similar trappings to a sort of cannibalism. I guess what I'm really trying to express is that, yes, it is noble to not want to live at the expense of another life, but merely changing one's diet does not provide the ultimate solution.

I obviously do not have the ultimate solution. If we really want a more just world, a whole new avenue of living will have to be created, and what's to say that will really change the process of exploitation (chances are, it'll just change who's being exploited.)

Now, I am not one to point out the hypocrisy of one's views versus the way one lives, because I have an equal if not greater amount of hypocrisy, I'm sure, in the contradiction of my views and lifestyle. I don't go up to people and say, 'excuse me, but do you know how much of a big fat liar you are?' I believe in giving people the chance to show you that they are good and don't go out of their way to be hypocrites. But it doesn't keep me from being bemused by the weird shit we do as human beings (self included.) I've never had the typical teenage problem of being frustrated at not being understood. I barely understand myself, so why on earth would anyone else have any idea who I am. I, instead, have the problem of sometimes not understanding people. Sure, I usually can piece together what makes them tick and what they really want and all that, but sometimes my genuine reaction is - 'WHAT THE FUCK?!'

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19787809/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19787809/ Tue, 05 Aug 2008 10:20:23 PDT
And I wonder if I'll do anything or say anything I regret.
It's been futile to wonder; I do it or I say it anyway.

Philosophers mock those who claim to be guided by some force that is greater than their own and I find myself jeering along. Yet I know at the midnight hour, I'll be curled into a question mark, hiding from those damn impulses.

And I wonder if there can be an end to this pain without there being an end to me.

Honesty is beyond me, but I can't remember climbing up and placing it on that unreachable shelf. Did I really blind myself? Was it my own hands that covered my ears? But what would you do if you were raised to the tune of howling and broken glass? How much of it is choice and how much of it influence?

I have to plead guilty to my crimes - truthfully or otherwise.
It's the only way I can come within a breath of redemption.

I try to tell him about myself. I make some faint attempt at normalcy to avoid the ring of heat pitted between my legs. But instead, my mouth finds his and silences us both time and time again.

My heart is stronger than my mind. But these days, my body overpowers my heart. It drowns me down.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19722949/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19722949/ Fri, 01 Aug 2008 17:24:48 PDT
The process of beautification and aesthetics - fashion, cosmetics, etc. - is driven by this illusion. I have nothing against anyone who chooses to spend hours on end preparing for the day with curlers and whatnot. It's natural to want to be viewed as desirable by the community and be influenced by other people's perception. We all want that positive feedback - to be that girl that lights up every room she walks into. It applies to guys as well - to be the one all the girls giggle and oh-so-subtly (extreme use of sarcasm) brush up against. Even if the goddess/adonis image is an illusion, that kind of charismatic pull has existed in people who have that kind of charm and persuasion.

Nevertheless, what goes unnoticed by many is that beauty comes at a heavy price. I'm not one of those people that believes that just because you're attractive, you're shallow or mean - but I do believe that once you enter that mindset, it colors your vision. Whether you are conscious of it or not, once you start to take extreme care in how you dress and appear, you start inherently judging others based on their appearance. You are trying to create a positive image based on your clothing and you assume that other people are relying on the same device to express their personalities. Reverse the situation, and reflect on your own perception of a well-dressed person who walks into the room. Even if they're a lively speaker, the whole time, you're focusing on their appearance and how good they look. Nothing of who they actually are registers when you are distracted by the glossiness of their hair or the way their eyes are accentuated.

What's more, aspiring to the ideal of a beauty is a time-consuming and energy-consuming process. It's not enough to put together the outfit and go out for the night. You always have to be thinking about how you look, because lipstick fades, eyeliner/mascara smears /hair frizzes with excessive activity. The time you spend on looking more attractive expands expands and expands. Before you know it, you're spending hours in front of the mirror and instead of listening to the conversation, you're worried about whether you've got something in your teeth.

You can drive yourself crazy trying to be beautiful. Most people don't go nuts in the effort, but they are changed in their attempts. Because the fact of the matter is, nothing you do will ever be enough in your own eyes. You will never be alluring as you want to be, because the imagination far surpasses the reality of possibility.

Like I said, I have no disdain for girls that actually look as what most people consider to be beautiful. I think it's great that people can keep the balance of appearance and self awareness. But I've never trusted myself to be able to take up the act. I know all my physical flaws and am in no way deceived to think that I could ever compare to anyone else, but I am truly comfortable in my skin for what it's worth. It's just sort of unnerving at this age, because everything is (as much as people deny it) based on appearance. And you have to keep some kind of faith that one day someone's gonna look past all the bullshit that we all project and into what you actually are. And that maybe, because you weren't focusing on the external, the picture'll be a little clearer than most's.

We all were supposed to have been groomed to be actively preparing to be attractive to the other gender from as early as middle school. In school, guys try out their lines on the girls and girls work on flaunting it without gaining the reputation as the resident slut. It's deceit in a way if you think about it. I don't view deception as always bad (eventhough I rarely consciously choose to take part in it); it's almost necessary. Think about how many people deceive each other into gettin... ]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19687138/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19687138/ Wed, 30 Jul 2008 19:17:52 PDT
"It is the non-satisfaction of desires, and a firm and perpetual belief that each act to satisfy them leaves much to be desired and be bettered, that are the fly-wheels of the consumer-targeted economy."

- Liquid Life by Zygmunt Bauman

Yeah, this is what I read in my free time...I don't know why...

I've got a love-hate relationship with philosophy/sociology/all that mental mumbo jumbo. On one hand, it's nice to read something written by someone much more articulate than you who can voice that seemingly implaceable reason for dissatsifaction, confusion, or fear. On the other hand, it's frustrating, because the way the information is presented doesn't leave much room for hope. Human behavior is what it is, and even if we can relay a message from one person to the next in the blink of an eye, it will not improve upon our ability to truly express ourselves to one another.

Even the relationship between artist-and-viewer/musician-and-audience is distorted. We may like to project ourselves in a certain light through song or our artwork, but it may be received in a wholly different manner. That way, even if we get positive feedback, it may not be for the original reason we intended. So what happens? Do we feel frustrated and continue to try to express that original message or do we just take it as it is and move on to the next thing? I'm thinking the latter sounds more progressive, but it's difficult at times to keep from questioning our reason for expression if it's all boggled in the end.

Sometimes, I wonder why we don't stop talking altogether. I watch people when they're speaking, and I can take in much more from their body language...the little things they do with their hands or where their focus is when they're speaking...than from what they're actually saying. That's why I don't always think it's entirely unjust to 'judge a book by it's cover.' Sometimes a cover is all someone gives you. And sometimes the cover is closer to the truth than our attempt to make sense of ourselves.

And then I wonder why the hell I'm even thinking about this shit. If there's anything I've learned from philosophy, it's that nothing we do or say follows any logical pattern (which makes me feel less insane for the things I do...) I wonder why I can't just do whatever most people my age do. I'm not trying to typify youth, but everyone does seem to follow a pattern in the aging process at least (which is probably why getting old freaks them out so much.) I do my own fair share of brainless things, but at the end of the day, when I can't distract myself with this or that, it's difficult to escape those larger-than-life questions that people have trained themselves to ignore.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19657291/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19657291/ Tue, 29 Jul 2008 09:02:59 PDT
I don't do the whole 'rebel without a cause' deal, and I sure as hell don't believe in advertising when I'm stepping outside the norms. It seems so many people want the credit for when they're doing something unconventional, which makes you question their motives. I mean, I guess I'm glad we don't live in an age where something as stupid as showing your ankles is considered scandalous, but we've gone to the other end of the spectrum, where we show everything to the point where it's no longer a big deal. I think the power of suggestion/the art of seduction has long since been lost.

If you've ever just watched how people act at a party (just for a moment, and then you can go back to getting piss ass drunk or whatever ), it kind of illustrates the point. Girls will do the craziest things just to get the attention of anyone with a dick and there's actually this undercurrent of competition between them. And the guys will act like none of this is really getting to them just to see how far girls will go. Intrigue, mystery - nah, forget about it. I don't know. I know not too many people are wistful for the old times, but I'm more interested in the idea of genuine scandal - the kind that unveils the inherent hypocrisy of a situation. Because the truth of the matter is that we're still not free from that hypocrisy. We have these limitations (21 to drink, 18 to buy porn, showing ID to see an R movie) that contradict the natural process. We're a "free" people, but we're not free to choose when we're ready for certain substances/activities.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19643887/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19643887/ Mon, 28 Jul 2008 14:30:57 PDT
...all the chalk drawings that were washed away in the rain swam back to us one day - a vision of dinosaurs and hopscotch squares swimming through the pavement.

...every song we ever heard stayed in our body - curling up like snakes inside our brain, stomach, and intestines and hibernated for the winter.

...we skipped the small talk and asked the important questions. Like 'what's your favourite ice cream flavor?' and 'will you catch me if I fall?'

...I admitted that I'm terrible at hurting people emotionally.

...you didn't have to pay taxes or bills or sit in offices and could spend the day out on the open road.

...everyone was a gypsy.

...it was as simple as just falling in love and getting married.

...no one was afraid of commitment.

...I told you the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

...you got to know me.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19554969/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19554969/ Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:23:26 PDT
Last week, I saw a headline for an article about how Sarah Jessica Parker got the mole removed from her face. A whole.fucking.article on comcast.net. And this was mushed in along with maybe one or two headlines about global affairs and several other headlines about celebrity trash.

This is gonna seem like a bit of a topic jump, but I think it's beyond stupid and unnecessary press coverage when celebs announce their views on anything - take sex for instances. I don't give a flying fuck whether you decide to abstain till you're married or join a fucking monastery and never ever have sex or screw every guy/girl you meet, or actually have a healthy sex life. Don't kid yourself by saying you're making an example by how you live. And it's beyond stupid to announce your opinion to the world, because like every other human being, you might change your mind and then you'll just end up looking like an asshole.

Then there's all these attempts to appear altruistic by being the poster people for certain organizations you've created, but really it's just another shamless manner of promoting yourself. If you really, REALLY want to make a difference, just shut the fuck up. Do your part in preventing the disintegration of the minds of the population, by not adding your own voices to the already growing blabber of useless speech and attention.

I know that these media vultures sell shit because there's a market for crap consumption, but I think these rich people surrounded by camera flashes and protected from actual information by the golden walls around their little universe actually know their power over others. They may not be intelligent (God forbid we pay our respects to people with actual brains and ability), but they are shrewd. And it is fucking scary that everyone from the youth on up ogles them with their mouths wide open.

More and more, this is becoming a world of idolatry and of the self. Let me clarify by saying that I am not attacking those who worship idols as in those made of clay or stone or whatever, but people making these men and women among us who are equally flawed out to be gods. You're just asking for trouble by placing that level of significance to your fellow being. And what's worse is we try to be these gods among men. Your survival in the economy is dependant on your ability to sell yourself and an image - even if it is a lie or an exaggeration. I mean, just look at this whole concept of Myspace and Facebook. True, there are many that use it for socialization and networking, and there's no harm in that, but then there are the many that use it as an extension of their narcissistic ways. Think about it - a whole page dedicated to yourself. If you read the 'about me's' of so many, all of it is spent justifying their lives and how great they are and how above others they are and how extraordinary they must be.

It's not as if our predecessors were any better. I believe we learned this sense of "me me me" from our backgrounds and then expanded on that superficiality. We can't even trust our immediate past to provide us with examples of how to live. There is no example of how to live, there is no ultimate one way, but the world steadily trains us to believe that there is this form of ultimate existence in which we can surpass our humanity and mortality. There's not. What we need to learn when we are young is how to find our own way to live and accept those of others.

And maybe somewhere in the back of the mind of this corrupt world, there are some voices raising it to question. But they're merely murmering at this point. This seems random, but take a look at the prevalence of superhero movies. I don't think that the appeal for them is merely some arbitrary phase. These movies always illustrate society's hope for this one man or woman to take the fall for everyone - to give up their humanity, their lives, to fight against all their evils so that others may continue to live in their overall self-destructive manners. But these movies project beyond this vision, in that they demonstrate that instead of having one person shoulder everything, we must all change the way we think and that expectation. There has been no Ghandi or Martin Luther King for our age. And as much as we would like one voice to rise above the others and inspire hope, we are living in a world where we've been taught to ignore such people. We all have to see things differently. And as we keep on going down this path, and people are further immersed in themselves and the power solidifies itself in the hands of the wealthy, the window of opportunity to really come out of these dark times is shrinking.

Whatever. I know I've been saying the same things over and over again, but it's difficult to just watch things stand by as they are. And I don't know what else to do right now, but... ]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19532315/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19532315/ Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:30:47 PDT
You purchase pain with all that joy can give, and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

It is easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience. - Caesar

Pain is life--the sharper, the more evidence of life. - Charles Lamb

Life is eternal, and love is immortal,
and death is only a horizon;
and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
- Rossiter Raymond

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19523409/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19523409/ Mon, 21 Jul 2008 17:48:41 PDT The house is burning down and you're just sitting back
on your recliner watching the act
of beer ads, headlines, and 'reality' TV whoreing off your future.
Grow a pair
and get scared,
pissed off,
or find a fucking bucket of water.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19507160/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19507160/ Sun, 20 Jul 2008 20:35:38 PDT
I've begun to savor the realization that I am nowhere near what I envision as the horizon of my life. True, I can't predict when it will end. But I can be sure that I will never be satisfied, and that in itself is satisfaction. It sounds like I'm talking in circles, but it makes sense in my mind. It applies to ever facet of life. And I am one of those people who is always wanting more (my name means 'thirst' or 'craving' ironically enough). And I used to view that as a hinderance, but now I realize that it just makes my life all the more worth living.

I...not to be dramatic, but it's been a while since I've been able to realize a single reason for why I'm still breathing. But I think I've found it, and the funny thing about it is that it's the realizaiton that I don't think there is an ultimate reason for any of us. And there is no ultimate happiness. It's just the thrill of chasing a dream. And true, it seems a little more clear to those who only have one dream and are travelling down one tunnel to get there, but it paints so much more of an interesting picture to me when a person has several dreams that pull in all directions - to be expanded across barriers of stereotypes and preconceived notions. The simplicity of it makes it...easier to breathe. Even if I still get some side effects of the old days. Even if people keep on leaving all my life. It'll be okay.

(Sidenote - Billy Corgan's voice is so soothing, even if it sounds kinda rough. Love love love it.)

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19462062/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19462062/ Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:58:46 PDT
]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19459277/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19459277/ Fri, 18 Jul 2008 06:31:25 PDT beneath all this roughness
just
a pair of wide eyes
and a battered heart
(don't be deceived)
there's enough
love and fire
within it all
to scratch glass

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19453873/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19453873/ Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:46:23 PDT Everyone in this town
is seeing somebody else
Everybody's tired of someone
our eyes wander for help
Prayers that need no answer now
I'm tired of who I am
You were my greatest mistake
I fell in love with your sin
Your littlest sin - Anberlin

You know...I was thinking today, that the more distant I become from people, the more my creativity flourishes. But when I get emotionally involved/ensnared, I start to weaken and lose my spirit. I would sacrifice all my ideas in a heartbeat for a proper companion/love though. I do. Everytime I think I've met such a person, but then...obviously things don't work out. Everyone has places to be, more interesting people to meet, things to do, blah blah blah.

Oh well.

Ha. I'm not really so dispassionate about these matters, but maybe it's just the fact that it's almost midnight and person #309238 has walked out of my life. Maybe it's just the way of things.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19405368/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19405368/ Tue, 15 Jul 2008 08:16:56 PDT
alive
six feet under
screaming
a sound that carries
beyond the blue of your sky

and everyone passes by
and walks over me
and when they stop
they see
and it's just
look and touch
look and touch
they look
and touch me

i'm not dead
but i'm barely breathing
i didn't have the energy
when you were leaving
to tell you that i didn't mean it


i didn't mean to be cold
but i've barely got enough body heat
to cover me at night
my eyes are closing
of fright for the world
i'm shrinking back
because i was told
the living could really kill you

but when you stood over me
and looked at my body
i could have sworn
you saw the light
and the way i was trying to glow


but it was just
look and touch
look and touch
look
you really touched me
and i don't want you to go
don't go
i'll try to be alive
again
said the ghost of wrecked girl

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19397102/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19397102/ Mon, 14 Jul 2008 19:11:50 PDT Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp;
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live. - Dorothy Parker

Cheers, madame.

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19385369/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19385369/ Mon, 14 Jul 2008 07:02:47 PDT yesterday
i thought i heard you say
who you think youre kidding
we are all pissing into the wind
wearing sheeps skin
hiding from the same things that i danced in
but no one gets what they really want
and love only when its convenient
we act like we know more than we know than we know
we treat love like its something youre owed

but maybe ive found you
maybe ive found something i love
maybe ive found you
maybe ive found something i love - As Tall As Lions

music is my lover
and we are constant and we are pure
I open my heart and he opens his heart
and we don't ask for anything more
than the security of touch

he knew that the answer was just
to hold my hand
as we lie beneath the covers
of something we cannot understand

his lips find my fears
and he whispers them away
to lie in his warm embrace
is to lie in the promise of another day

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19367735/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19367735/ Sun, 13 Jul 2008 07:42:55 PDT couldn't find what I was looking for
i think my explanations
end up confusing people more
i'm as hazy, baby,
as a traffic light in the rain
you can see the colors of my heart
but you don't know what they're saying
it's alright
i don't understand you either
but you don't need to know
the thoughts of a match
to know it can start a fire
this is a familiar position
standing at a closed door
but it was when
every other joint was closed
that i found what i was looking for
(i knew all along
through the intro
verse bridge
through the whole damn song
i was walking alongside my dreams
all along)

_____________________________

Errrgh...I feel like I was sleeprunning. I woke up feeling more exhausted than when I went to sleep.
This guitarist is fucking class. Love love love it.
I might go out and lie in the grass. I'm feeling cat-like lazy this morning.

could you be any more juvenille, wicked son?
you see playthings in the people
that you know very well
kill your plans to set the sun in wicked dawn
you cast shade on all the good books
that you sent to the blind in black and white
no one wants to read in red and blues
and no ones nice here
but its okay - Very Secretary

______________________________

i dreamed that my message box was full
of responses to every word i said
that was ever left unattended
by every person that took
a chip of my heart
from which i never mended
i dreamed that you spent
some emotion on me
and it felt good
really
because lately
the way things have been standing
i've been feeling kind of...
...well...
cheap

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19360727/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19360727/ Sat, 12 Jul 2008 19:32:08 PDT
I believe in karma. Not as some great mysterious force that guarantees divine retribution, but simply in the way that it makes sense that whatever you put out into the world comes back to you. So if there's anyway to exude an apology - just to everyone around me, then I'm kind of hoping that goes out as of now. It sounds kind of ridiculous seeing as I've blatantly pushed away most people in my life at this point, but to those that have still remained, I mean it.

I'm weak. I'm vulnerable. Just as much as anyone else. And I've realized that no matter what I do, I really can't do anything to keep from being hurt. Judgment and apathy do nothing to prevent pain. You may be numb but that doesn't mean something isn't cutting away at you - it just could be so slowly that you don't even realize it until you're nothing but a blank stare. And the path that would be least painful is to just accept whatever's in me for all it's overall intensity. You know...you hear that so much from the time that you begin to doubt yourself - 'just be yourself.' And to be frank, it sounds like complete shit when you're scared by everything. But I think we all have the moment when we truly realize what it means. I guess I'm having mine.

Forgive me, yeah? I've been trying to figure out who I am, and I've known the answers all along, I've just haven't been able to accept them until now.

Not that anyone's expected to read this. But that's part of what I do - I write and say things that people may never read or hear, but that's okay. Because I am able to say them and that is something that...makes me happy.

Cheers.

P.S. In reference to the title, anyone seen 'Vanilla Sky'? I saw it a -while- ago, and I'm thinking about watching it again because I forget everything about it except that line.

i do not reject the past
i will not deny myself pain
i'll walk upright
at just the height to be knocked down
and for that there's all the more to gain

]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19328863/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19328863/ Fri, 11 Jul 2008 08:58:05 PDT
Being born into two cultures at once and having to act one way at home, one way at school, one way when I'm by myself has caused me to inadvertently examine a lot of the mechanisms by which we live. I'm gonna use relationships (in the general sense of socializing) as an example, because it's something everyone can connect to. Back in Bangladesh, arranged marriages are still common practice. Let me clarify, by saying, no one is ever forced into doing it, it's just a decision between person and family, and they can say yes or no to prospective suitors. Yet with this freedom, so many still choose to partake in this business-like approach to marriage. The fact is, the divorce rates definately aren't as high. True, divorce in general is pretty foreign to the culture, but what usually happens is people learn to love each other. And it may not seem as romantic to some, but think about the amount of effort and work that occurs between the two people to make it work. I think we can all agree that love isn't a solo, it's a duet between two people, and that's just what occurs when the marriage is arranged. Mind, I myself would never choose to involve myself in something arranged, but I have my own reasons which I do not need to explore in this particular rant.

Now let's have a look at marriages in the Western civilization. We're not blind to the divorce rates and number of stories of spouses cheating. It's highlighted in magazine articles, e-articles, etc. And why does this occur? Because if you look at what we as a society project, it's all about finding the right flavor. Finding love is viewed as finding this sort of light in someone. Even finding friendship...look at the way people describe it...everyone says you find your true friends in college, because you finally find that group where you belong. The truth is we can choose to belong to any group or any individual that we like. It's the rate at which we make this choice that deceives us into thinking it's some kind of mystical force - this gravity between human beings. You know there's no such thing. Because even if you find this person around who you're so incredibly light-headed, eventually there will be some form of resistance, something to make you doubt your choice or your feelings. That's usually when most people move on to someone else. But the fact is, you'll find that same doubt with that person and the next and the next for as long as you live, because that is the natural way of things. And people think it's all about finding the right person, but it's about meeting the person who also wants to make that choice to like you and make things work. It's all in the timing, yeah?

All these thoughts were spawned when I was asked the question (I've been asked a couple times throughout the year) - what makes me happy. I have provided people with a variety of answers to this question, and then later thought back to what I said and realized that that's not the answer I meant. It didn't feel right. And I realized, the reason why I stumble over my words when I try to answer this question, is because as an individual, I haven't made any commitment to one particular idea as being the sole thing to cause my happiness. Because I don't believe happiness is a cause; it's something we create. Perhaps you view me as cynical or technical or unromantic for thinking this way, but...I think there's something so much more romantic and beautiful in the idea that we ourselves can fashion what makes us glow. There's a relief in that. True, it forces us to admit that sometimes we constantly have to work at being happy, but I think that's something I'm willing to admit. Personally, these days, my grief usually coincides with anger. And I've realized it's because I become angry with myself for... ]]> ~quette http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19296590/ http://quette.deviantart.com/journal/19296590/ Wed, 09 Jul 2008 17:10:06 PDT Your self-effacing charms are shot
Wake up now to what you are
and what you're not

You can run, run, run
But you can't escape

Taste is sharp like mustard seed
Finding out that what you want is not what you need

You can talk, talk, talk
But the words aren't clear

When your straightedge line curves
And obscures all that you see
When your sure-shot sight blurs
You can come to me

It's too late now, your fun's been had
Your shining, blinding myriad burned-out

And fell down, down down
To the ground

Live like flower, light like stone
You're calling friends but now you find
You're on your own

And they're gone, gone, gone
With the morning light

When the black-cloud sky rains
On your ragged company
When your thoughts slip from their chains
You can come to me

(You can come to me) - You Can Come To Me by The Helio Sequence

Please sing this to me?
I was just thinking about how difficult it is to give yourself what you need instead of what you want. And how romantic lyricists can be. And those damn smoothies of excellence that are unattainably in NYC right now. Grrr...

There. I'm no longer a DA journal virgin.

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