http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:raevenilonka&section=today deviantART RSS for by:raevenilonka en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Mon, 07 Dec 2009 13:04:31 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/28711421/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/28711421/ Wed, 02 Dec 2009 14:35:31 PST
I fell off the pony I was riding (Daisy) THREE times in one hour today. I've never fallen of a horse before, yet I ride alot. I'm not scared of falling, it's just... I was already scared to have this lesson because we went jumping and my body is getting worse and worse. But I went there, thinking I'd make it a good lesson. We rode with only three of the five persons who normally rode. So we had much individual time. But I rode Daisy bareback.. Which is quite a stupid idea, because it's a fairly small pony and is known to throw people off and act crazy SOMETIMES. Not always. She has never thrown me off before, and I've ridden her quite some times, bareback too. And I've jumped with her too. But now, we rode towards a hurdle, and she just landed a bit weird, and she's a short pony so I rolled off.. And could barely escape one of her hooves. I stood up and stepped on again to proceed the lesson. Not impressed the least. But a few jumps later, she just stopped right in front of the hurdle, so I fell not too hard, but I fell with my back on the beams. But again, I stood up and got on again. I won't let a pony scare me! Never. But by then she had discovered it was a nice game to get me off. So she stopped many times, or tried to run away from the hurdle. My body is quite bad so I couldn't quite handle that. And one time she ran towards the right, and I fell off again. Still holding the reigns , I won't let go. But that was the third time falling already. Yet I still got up, whiped some sand of my clothes and got up again. Struggled with her until I won and she listened. And then she did everything perfectly, she walked like an angel and our last jump was as if we were flying. It was awesome. I learned alot this lesson, but it's not really the right way to do it. I've had the chance to examine the sand close-up three times.. dah..
Well, it frustrated me that I fell three times. It confirms the state of my body, and horseriding is my relax-moment in my hectic week, it hurts me mentally when it doesn't work. But I missed a lesson ehm.. two weeks ago I think.. I'm going to retake it friday, so I'll be riding again soon, which I think is a good thing. I'll never give up, even if I fall off fifty times in one lesson.


I love you all,

Raeven



---
There are still slots for a free sketch
Anyone interested?

Slots:
1.) - kitsune [link]
2.) - Chad (working on it!)
3.)
4.)
5.)
6.)
7.)
8.)
9.)
10.)

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/28098882/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/28098882/ Tue, 10 Nov 2009 03:06:02 PST Sunday, my foot got bruised. Badly.

Actually, Urziena (the friesian horse) walked over it accidentally. And it HURTS I tell you. I went to the dokter today, who sent me to the hospital for pictures. It's not broken, that's a relief. Because then it would take longer to heal. But this hurts more. So I don't know what I should be happy about.
And I'm going to a cremation today.

But besides all that, I'm feeling good I love my girlfriend to pieces, which makes me the happiest person alive.

Raeven

-


the first 10 people who comment on this journal about the sketches will get a free sketch, but, in return, you must offer 10 free sketches in your own journal. If you've already done 10 Free Sketches, simply link the journal entry in your comment...You still qualify.

(1. I will not draw your request until I see this in your journal.
(2. In your comment, include a link to a reference picture of the character you want me to draw or write me a description of said character.
(3. Only only(and only ONE) character per person.

Slots:
1.) - kitsune [link]
2.) - Chad
3.)
4.)
5.)
6.)
7.)
8.)
9.)
10.)

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/28005972/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/28005972/ Wed, 28 Oct 2009 03:24:18 PDT
It's a conspiracy against me!

Suus is going to ask me proparly, Friday the 13th (9months after the first time we ever kissed) but she's planning HOW. She as some mischievous plans. AND I DON"T KNOW. But all my friends know how!

My classmates and good friends are plotting, they tell me all day 'I know, we know, you dont know'... Agh going crazy already! And there's still weeks to go. *cry*


Isecretlylikeitbutit'salsoveryannoying.

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27856123/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27856123/ Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:11:31 PDT
I am OR making the worst mistake Or having the best thing in my life.

Suus and I are, almost back together. She stayed over for dinner, then she stayed over the night. We've talked alot, and didsomeotherthings. I've said to her, if she wanted to be with me, she'd have to make a comitment. Tell her friends that she's with me, and be honest about things.

She said she would.

I've said to a friend I'd never take her back, even if she'd come begging. But I did. And my head is still doubting if I made the right choice, but my heart screams : YES. This is our final chance. I've said I do not want to repeat what we've already done. How it had ended.

I've just send my closest friends a thank-you email. But I want to thank everybody here too. (again)

I have to see what happens, but I am going to enjoy every single bit of it.
I've said to Suus if she wants to be my girlfriend, that she'll have to ask me proparly, and she's planning things. Help?


Raeven



------
edit

1) Choose one of your own characters.
2) Make them answer the following questions.
3) Then, tag three people.
4) Feel free to add some questions of your own.

Character- Raeven (myself mostly)

1) What gender are you?
Girl

2) What is your age?
18 years

3) Do you want a hug?
*Loves hugs*

4) Do you have any bad habits?
I think too much.. AND I am sarcastic. A lot.

5) What is your favorite food?
hmmmm, chocolate?

6) What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Banana

7) Are you a virgin?
no *giggle*

8) Have you killed anyone?
No, wouldn’t dare.

9) Do you hate anyone?
No

10) Do you have any secrets?
Yes, life consists of it.

11) What is your favorite season?
Fall and winter, my fur keeps me warm.

12) Who are your best friends?
AnnaaElsa

13) What are your hobbies?
Taking a walk, napping, sitting and watching, running.

14) What is your favorite drink?
Saké

15) When is your birthday?
Same as me, 3th January

16) What age did you die?
Yet to come?

17) Are you nice or mean?
Nice overall. But can be very angry.

18) What do you think of your creator?
We’re similar.

19) What is your weakness?
Being in love!

20) How long can you stay under water?
a minute. Maybe two.

21) What do you do on a regular day basis?
sleep, walk around, check on friends.

22) Do you love someone?
Yes <3

23) Does that person love you back?
YESH <3

24) Do you like me?
uh, yeah?

25) What do you consider fun in the day time?
teasing friends

26) At night?
sleeping next to my girl

27) Do you like meatballs?
why not?

28) Do you like Chef Boyardee's meatballs?
Dunno!

29) Are you gay?
yes.

30) Say that you were trapped in a closet with your lover for 2 days straight. What do you do if you start to starve in ONLY A 2-DAY RADIUS?
talk about other things and find out in what closet we are (food cabin?)

31) Wow, really?
yes. Really.

32) What is your place of origin?
Ilonka’s mind!

33) Who are your parents?
Nobody!

34) Are you wearing underwear right now?
No. BOBCATS don’t do that.

35) What's your occupation?
nuting really

37) Do you have a phobia?
spiders.

38) Is this quiz over?
only if this is the last question?

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27740177/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27740177/ Tue, 13 Oct 2009 07:51:42 PDT
Tagged by:

(long time since I got tagged)

The rules:

-Answer all the questions below with the first letter of your name, and try to do it as quickly as possible.
-You can't use the same answer twice
-Tag some friends.

So ... Ilonka. AN I .. HELP ME.

1. Fruits/Vegetables
There's no fruit NOR veggie with an I!

2. Computer Lingo
I dunno?

3. Acronyms
IDL Interactive Data Language

4. Words Associated with Exercise
inhale?

5. Four Letter Words
iron!

6. Car Parts
Ignition

7. A Boy's Name
Ian

8. Countries
Iceland

9. Ice Cream flavors
icy

10. Animals
I KNEW THIS ONE:
IMPALA

11. Things that you wear
indexfinger-ring
(gotcha there , didn't I?)

12. Games
I spy~!

I tag…


]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27634369/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27634369/ Wed, 07 Oct 2009 14:18:33 PDT

thanks for all your support.
My sister and my friend/classmate said:
Ilonka is in a deep hole. there are branches to help her out (her friends).
Noor (the classmate/friend) helps me to get out so much. she threw down a rope.

x
raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27599153/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27599153/ Mon, 05 Oct 2009 14:56:11 PDT
We found out she was telling lies all along.

I don't know what to believe anymore.


I'll never trust a person again. I'll stay single.

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27589620/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27589620/ Mon, 05 Oct 2009 00:31:32 PDT
She said she wasn't sure. She said she'd doubted. She gave me hope AND SHE CRUSHED IT EVEN HARDER.

I've told her. If you'd want to be with him, tell me. I wouln't like it, but I'd want you to be happy. I want to see you smile.
But what did she do? She said she still loved me. That she didn't want us to be apart. She said she didn't know.

ANd now
just 15 minutes ago, I found out she had : Suus Ricardo in her msnnickname.
WHAT THE F*CK. YOU DID IT BEHIND MY BACK. I F*CKING HATE YOU FOR IT.

I still love her. My heart is broken and stepped on. I feel the most useless ever. THen she jsut blocked me on msn. She ran away. And I said to her she runs. She said she didn't , not from me. But she did. And I texted her that she did run from me.

The easy way

I'm glad Noor comes over today. Today's my day off. I wouldn't make it on my own. She doesn't know yet, because we agreed she'd come yesterday. She and are the people that matter the most now.

I can't handle things on my own.
Why'd she ever love me?

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27516414/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27516414/ Thu, 01 Oct 2009 06:30:59 PDT
First of all, thanks so much for all your support. I couldn't hang on like this without you people <3 Thanks so much.

Yesterday night. I couldnt sleep. So I watched Strawberry Panic. but then she texted me. about a song. I texted back that I was about to get my bike (which I had left outside) and leave something at her house for her. So we decided to meet at half past one ... AT NIGHT. And so , 10 past one I snuck out of the house, and went to meet her.

Alot of harsh words have been said by me, I said how I felt and I've never been so honest before. Point now is, we both don't want it to end. But she just doesn't know.
I've told her, I felt like she was running away for things, feelings. I blamed her for chosing the easy way. Because she does! Running away and starting over is easy, then break up again with someone else because it gets too close to you again. It's f**king easy!
I've told her, I had to go through hard times telling how I felt. Everytime she made me talk about it. But she hardly ever did. And I blamed her for that.

But,
I cannot leave her. I know how she feels and that she denies things to herself. I will be there for her, maybe not as a girlfriend (but that's undecided up and till now) but at least as a friend. She is afraid of losing me, but I assured her she won't.

I asked a hard question. It was quite mean to do so. But I had to.
Are we, or are we not together?

She didn't know. Really didn't know. So I gave her time. And said I'd accept the choice she'd make. I want her to choose independantly. If she stays with me and isn't sure, we'd be in the same position soon again, and hurt only more. If she says to break up entirely, then so be it. It'll hurt. I know that. So I won't keep my hopes too high. But the main part of me, is hoping, wishing, praying that she'll see how she feels and wants to be with me.

I returned home 4 at night. Took me a while to get asleep , and my alarm rang again at 6.45..

*sigh*
My mind is so full.

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27487387/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/27487387/ Tue, 29 Sep 2009 14:29:57 PDT



ok, serious now.
I got dumped. Like.. an hour ago..

I'm not mad at her. I couldn't be. I still love her. But we're jsut.. not together anymore. It hurts. It hurts so much, since she couldn't even say it to my face. That probably hurts me the most. She couldn't say it. She couldn't say it was over. She didn't want it to. But we both knew, if it would have continued we'd end up even more hurt. We both knew this was coming up. But didn't want to admit.

And, I'd have to say.. If I could chose, I would do it again. Every single part of it. The pain weighs up to the good times we've had. But hey, life goes on. And I'll have to keep going on as well.

There will be some depressed art I guess. I'll have to let it out somewhere. I am willing to share it with you, so it'll be coming up.

The last thing I want to say is that I love all you people. , , , http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/26887323/ Sat, 29 Aug 2009 01:07:03 PDT
Introduction at an art-collage.

My body is wrecked, but I had soo much fun! Can't wait till I get some pictures of it. (I look HORRIBLE) I was dressed up almost the entire week, make-up, schmink, .. Anything. We had to perform in school about 3 times. AND we walked in a parade though Arnhem. My voice is really bad now.

I got home everyday past eleven p.m. exept for the first day. And I slept over at a new friends' place at thursday.

Anywho, I got little sleep, had to do alot in a short period of time .. But it was worth it.

I hope to be able to upload some things soon!



x
Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/26819072/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/26819072/ Tue, 25 Aug 2009 14:54:06 PDT
I've been dressing up, having makeovers, photoshoots, catwalk and I even walked around in my underwear at school. And that in two days time! (mainly today though). Can you imagene?

I'll explain more about the underwear-sitch and I hope to get some of the photos real soon I wonder if you even recognise me. (my friends there didn't do so.. ) It took two times to wash everything out of my hair.



I'm just letting you know I'm very busy now. I hope it'll settle down for a bit next week. But I cannot promise you that. I'm doing the best I can to stay active here I love school though. Really, it's awesome.

Love you all,

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/26279350/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/26279350/ Tue, 18 Aug 2009 12:34:55 PDT I am a girl and I love my girlfriend.

just letting you knowwww. hahah

She's beautiful,
she's super sweet,
she's really sexy,
she's been helping me fix myself.. with succes,
she's great,
she's always there for me,
and
she's mine.

I'm lucky.

Who can still not approve two people to love eachother, when they're from the same sex? No guy can ever make me feel this way. Look at me, and how happy I am with her. What could be wrong?


Edit:
She made a DA page. <3


And this is what she wrote to me the other day:

A day will come that I'll not think about YOU. It'll be in about 100000 years!

"Zutphen 15-08-09 04:00 am

You know, what I just wrote at the front of this is true. 1000% truth.

Never will there be a day when I don't think about you. I don't know why but I feel very attracted to you. And it turned out well. I really love you. Last time, with Raisa, Fleur and Daniëlle was really amazing. Thank you for the wonderful evening. Thank you for always being there for me and thank you in advance for all the beautiful moments that are yet to come.

You're my inspiraton/
motivation
You're my biggest support

but the most important thing:

You're mine

With big, big love,
Suus,


p.s.I don't know when you'll read this. But, if we might be not together anymore, let me know whe you read it! (I really do hope by the way that we're still 1)"

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/26182249/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/26182249/ Sun, 26 Jul 2009 01:24:17 PDT

I've taken two hours to go though all the pwetty deviations that were submitted by the people I watch. Makes me happy. I wantz my animals back today. Taylor has been a bitch.. *sigh* She cannot stand it when I'm not around because everybody is too afraid of her to give her attention. Hellbunny

Hmm.. what more to say?
I'll go upload my drawings now :3




x
Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25998040/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25998040/ Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:57:15 PDT
I'm sorry I don't really have time to check all your beautiful deviations and comments and journals. But Ill do that when I'm back home.

For now I'm still in Italy, at the Gardalake. It's 35 degrees celcius here, too warm for my liking. But I'll manage. Italy sure is a beautiful country.

Though I'm really eager to go home. Yet I still have a week to spend here. We'll move to the coast tomorrow. But I wanna go home. Not because it's not fun here, but I don't feel well. I have much pain in my body and I miss my friends, girlfriend and animals.

But hey, let's keep it up and enjoy it while I'm still here.

I miss you all too,


x
Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25840820/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25840820/ Thu, 09 Jul 2009 14:18:31 PDT
I'm off to Italy for two weeks. Starting tomorrow. I'm thinking of bringing my laptop, so I might still be active. Just wanting to let you know, in case I'm not as active as I wish to be.

oh and, I'm feeling quite a bit better than before. I've cried alot, and talked to my girlfriend, and hugged her so much. Let's just focus on the good things, right? *smile*

<3 u all


Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25776506/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25776506/ Mon, 06 Jul 2009 14:34:55 PDT
So, I'll have to change my behaviour. Or I have the choise between living at my dad's (which I'm really not into.) or go look for a room for myself somewhere around. Then I'll have to work more, and I'm starting art collage this year. That is a nearly impossible option.

I really don't know what to do. I'm crying, typing here. Not even knowing WHY. I just need to write it all off. I honestly don't know. I'm confused, having pain in my entire body. And this day sucked. Sorry to bother you like this.



--- Edit
Now my favourite fish died too. why does this keep happening?! ---

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25753732/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25753732/ Sun, 05 Jul 2009 13:02:07 PDT
I've been to Rock Werchter, a rockfestival in Belgium. Sadly I had to miss the first day (because of my graduation .. lol). But I've been there friday and saturday. I've seen the White Lies (who rocked), Amy Mcdonald (was ok), Elbow (okay), Blocparty (<3), THE KILLERS ( LOVE LOVE LOVE) and... LADY GAGA (WHOOHOO) I didn't expect her to be this good, she really rocked on stage. But I went there alone, because my friends didn't like her. During her concert, a drunk dude was really scary.
He was standing very close to me, ok, it was crowded so he couldn't help it. But he constantly pushed me, take pictures of me and evem started touching me. I really really freaked out, and I hit him. My elbow in his stomach and my fist in his face. And he was gone. I hardly ever get agressive, but I couldn't take this. Lucky for me, two really nice Belgian girls helped me, and I had a great time for the rest of the concert.

The next day, saturday, I had to endure yet another busy, warm day. And I freak out more and more lately. I've seen Regina Spektor (surprisingly good), the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (awesome!), I heard Franz Ferdinand (goooood), and the highlight of my day: KATY PERRY (She surprised me the most at RW). I've seen some live performances of her on youtube, and she was always off key and sucked. But I gave her a try and went anyway, because I like the music. And it was awesome! She sung really good, and entertained the public. I love her! I even wore my tshirt at her concert , which says: 'I kissed Katy Perry and she wrote a song about it'. hahaha. And after her concert we saw the Kings of Leon, who were good as always.

But why, WHY do I feel like this then? I feel .. bad. I had to leave the festival early, because I couldn't take any more. Fysically and mentally. And that frustrates me so much. I am constantly stressed with so many people around. My entire body hurts and I feel like breaking apart. None of my friends could see how I feel I guess. My fear, my pain. I can't blame them. I left because I wouldn't be in their way. They couldn't have seen the Kaiser Chiefs from four meter distance if I would have been with them.
I don't know why I feel so sucky.
I even cried at the festival.

Three of my fish died this weekend. Of the warmth. Lucily my three favourite and my guppies still live. I'll go buy new fish tomorrow I think. And I'll draw, and I'll paint. And I'll go to my girlfriend.


Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25619863/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25619863/ Mon, 29 Jun 2009 01:25:57 PDT And after the day shopping there, we went just a little further by train, and swam in the sea. We took the train 7.15 am and returned about 10 pm. God we were wrecked, but we had fun. And ofcourse she stayed over, the perfect ending of an awesome day spent together.

And I bought a nintendo DSi I graduated from highschool, with my highest grade for Art. and I got some money for it. So... hahhah And I got Pokémon mystery dungeons explorers of darkness, spore and BLEACH <3
HOw can the weekend be better?

Now I'm going outside, kick Byakuya's ass on my DSi while lying in the grass with my bunny.


Luv you all

x
Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25365181/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25365181/ Wed, 17 Jun 2009 02:42:48 PDT
Prague was beautiful! But I'm glad to be home.
I got out of the bus after a twelve hour drive, smelled the Dutch air and it felt so good. I really love my country.

I've taken quite some pictures, and uploaded some. Haven't been drawing much there.
I have drawn something back here. But I'm not sharing it with you. It's a horrifiying drawing, not technical, but the image is. I'll draw something that I'll upload

Oooh and in Prague I've finally bought the cd of Die Happy <3 Bitter to better. *loves*

Love you~

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25194263/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/25194263/ Mon, 08 Jun 2009 09:20:09 PDT
I'll be off for a week, to Praque with

I do hope I'll be able to draw alot. Sorry for my lack of creativity and activity lately. you'll be hearing from me again soon.
As some of you might have noticed, I've updated my fanfic. More chapters are coming up.

I love you guys and girls,

x

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/24628615/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/24628615/ Thu, 07 May 2009 01:34:31 PDT

well, I love DA. It has been such an important factor in these two years. I've gotten some of the best friends here, developed my art and am being able to express myself more.

2 years;
805 deviations;
81 watchers;
11,431 pageviews;
1,389 favourites;
and 100% fun,love and friends.



]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/24506585/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/24506585/ Wed, 29 Apr 2009 23:19:08 PDT
Taylor discovered something this morning. I lay in bed, already awake (I sleep very little, so that's no surprise) and she suddenly jumped on bed. Really, my bed is about 50 cm high. Half way up my upper leg. That's quite high for a bunny who is as small a rugbyball. But it was fun, haha. (:

Anyway, as you could see, I've got a tattoo! <3 Finally. I've had this idea for years. It just took me some time to make the sketch and actually do it. It didn't hurt that bad. Yeah, in the beginning a bit. But later on it actually tickled. Here's a pic of it [link] .

So, what more interesting *cough* things do I have to tell you? This is just a chit-chat journal. I'll be going to the farm today, with a friend. I hope Urziena does a bit better than last time I saw her. Oh, and Nono is going to be sold. I'm gonna miss her. It's just that I do not have space for a donkey, or I'd have gotten her myself. But then again, what would a 18-year-old student have to do with her own donkey? Besides riding it. lol. I don't have the time and attention she needs. ):

Oh yea! I'm totally addicted to Strawberry Panic! I LOVE THAT ANIME. Shizuma = <3 You'll be seeing drawings of those characters in my gallery soon. ^^ Aaah, the sweet yuri. lol

Ok, well. If you've read all this.. Congrats? I think I'm quite boring in this journal. But hey, you decided to read it. I only spammed your inbox with this.

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/24326190/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/24326190/ Sun, 19 Apr 2009 13:12:30 PDT We ( , Josien, Sander, Ninge, Rik, Suus and I) had a movie night. I am the only one who did not sleep AT ALL. bhahaha.
I had some breathing difficulties again. And I had a fight with my bestest friend. Well, more then best friend I'll say. I even ran away into the woods in the middle of the night.
How fucked up it may seem, we talked it out a bit. Suus shouted at me, she slapped me in the face and I finally cried. And I kept apologising.

I told her, how I am a project to most of my friends. I know this hurts to tell, but I am not good at trusting people. I've learned the hard way.
But she is someone who makes me feel different.

I am not a project. I'm an actual person.

I know I've made promises to friends to draw something for them, but it'll be delayed a bit. I'm too busy in my mind at the moment. ): I'm so sorry.

Then, this weekend my bike got stolen. You all know how much my bike means to me. THe things I value the most are my bike, my mp3player, my animals and friends.
:'( so I miss my bike. But I got a new one. And fixed it up (needed to, because it was a reeeaaally cheap one..).

Well anyway, thnx for reading all the way down here.
I do not feel like talking sometimes, but I do write it down on Livejournal.
I love you all, my dear dear friends on DA.

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/24202778/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/24202778/ Sun, 12 Apr 2009 14:15:02 PDT I haven't been active lately!

AND I"VE REACHED THE 11K ALREADY I didn't know it went that fast! I owe you guys so much!
<3 I love all of you!



Well, Like I said, I haven't been active that much. I've been drawing but not uploading or anything. And I've been drawing depressed and negative things. And I did not make progress as an artist. So .. Yah I don't know.
I feel like :shit: sometimes.

I almost chocked yesterday.
We were at the local cinema, playing pool as usual.
I started to feel pressure on my lungs and played really horrible that last match. I went to sit at the table and felt myself getting really warm and oppressed. I went outside, my best friend followed suit. Dennis called me, accidentally. We had a laugh-kick outside. My best friend went inside again for something. Then it went wrong. I got stuck in that laugh-kick before and my breathing became fast and shallow.
The muscles around my upper body kept contracting each time I tried to breath. My breathing stopped, and I had to force myself to take a breath. I sat alone when it got really bad. I tried to get myself under control. My muscles got overworked the day before yesterday, so that was hard.

I did not get enough time. When I was progressing a little, my friends came outside and we went back to our bikes. I did not want my little sister and Dennis to know. Though they've probably seen it.
Biking went really bad. I could not take the effort of biking and the consequence of it on my breathing. Dennis and my sister went home. My sister had to get some sleep. She looked horrible (no offense here). My best friend and I went to sit near the river.

She helped me breath normally again. Well, helped.. Made me more likely. The biking had done too much damage which I couldn't take on myself at that time.
Later my muscles hurt so bad. My belly, my back, my shoulders all hurt from this experience and my knee felt bad from standing too much and I've done too much the day before yesterday to.

anyway, it sucked.


If you read it all the way here, well congrats. Have an easter egg.

pfsh.
There's too much on my mind. I'm sorry guys and girls, for letting you down.
I'll get myself back on track.


Kiss from Taylor , Amy and me
x

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/23670242/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/23670242/ Fri, 13 Mar 2009 02:37:25 PDT But yeah, my knee is bothering me so much. And I walk different because of it, which messes up my hips and back. Soo.. Now my entire back is slanted. =_=

Well, lets hope this works.
I've been playing around with a piece of metal chain with small links and a metal ring. And made a necklace similar to the one Rangiku Matsumoto has. *proud*

And I made a cool new collar for Taylor too now mah bunneh is very cool. (cooler than she already was)

Hmr, whats the use of this journal? Idk. Nothing probably.
Well, see ya guys! I'll go horseriding tonight~

*skips away*
Raeven


----------------

Clubs I'm in:


]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/23541482/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/23541482/ Thu, 05 Mar 2009 14:11:56 PST
25 weird facts about me taht you didnt want to know... or you do. idk


1. I just got back from work. Yush. I work at a local supermarket.
2. and I are drinking Baileys now.
3. This is how it feels
4. I wrote Gomenasai on my left hand today. With a dark green pen.
5. I honestly can't type with this keyboard of my sister and a drawing in front of me and .. Maybe the liquor had something to do with it. .. nahhh
6. I just helped Raisa with her drawing. Had to fix the hands.
7. I ordered tickets to a festival today! Rock werchter here I come! <3
8. The tshirts I ordered in from the USA are in now ( I live in Holland, and they said it'd take 2-3 weeks. It only took them 1,5
9. I'm gay and proud of it. (I'm so happy I really found myself now)
10. I have a livejournal and update it regularly.
11. I just thought: this is number eleven already!
12. My favourite song is She walked away by Barlowgirl. And others I like are: Broken - Amy Lee & Seether, Come down to me - Saving Jane, Hello tomorrow - Zebrahead, Lullaby - Dixie Chicks, I don't believe you & Family portrait - P!nk, Nine crimes - Damien rice, Seaside - the Kooks, the Dark - Anouk and more.
13. I reached the 10K paigeviews at the 24th of February 2009
14. Its almost a year ago my cat Jildou died.. 18th of March. I still don't believe she's gone.
15. I have difficulties with numbers. Though I always say it right in English. I use to reverse 89 and 98.
16. My knee hurts more lately
17. I can handle alot of alcohol without getting drunk. I've never been drunk in my life.
18. I'm going horseriding tomorrow. And next week friday we're going jumping
19. Music saved my life, and I want to get a tattoo dedicaded to it. <3 And I want it soon.
20. I already have in mind what I want as tattoos hahaha
21. I've got tagged by the sweet ^^
22. I'm not really into holidays like Christmas, Valentinesday and such , too much attention to it.
23. I am a horrible singer.
24. You know I could be just like you .. I don't talk easily. Paula recently said to me, (wait she said it yesterday) that she sometimes has to pull the answers out of me. yeah..
25. I noticed this is the last fact, and that this questionnaire is full of bullcrap. awesome ain't it? ok, lets think of one more thing.... eh.. I love all my friends here at deviantart! you mean the world to me!

Raeven

Now I'd have to tag 25 ppl?
I'll see how far I'll get.

http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/23376449/ Tue, 24 Feb 2009 06:28:44 PST
The awesome got it on printscreeen
I'm so happy, couldnt do it without ll my friends and awesome people here on DA who support me and believe in me. ILY~

And well, I think this is the right time to start about this. Cuz.. well I just feel like it.

I've been talking with my menthor at school, friends, my mother (yeah crazy huh?) , my sister and my pets (yeah, they've been a help..)
And, well I dont think this'll come as a surprise, for the ones who know me a bit. Look at my art and its OBVIOUS.
Well, here it goes. I'm gay. Not bi. But really truely one way, only girls, lesbian, gay. And proud of it.

Its weird, I've kept myself believing I could fall in love with a guy. I've had some,, bad, expierience with my first boyfriend. I wanted to give men a chance, even if he screwed it up. But when becoming serious, I am honestly not interested in guys.
so..

I think this was my coming - out at Deviantart?


Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/23336496/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/23336496/ Mon, 23 Feb 2009 07:43:00 PST 10 K <3
I'd never thought it would go this fast

Anyway, I'd want to thank all of you who visit/visited my page in advance. I luv you all!



Raeven



---------------------------------------------------

I am tired and my body feels like its falling apart.

But the Kings of Leon sure rocked! I went to their concert in Amsterdam yesterday. They were mindblowing! AND THEY PLAYED CLOSER (I like that song the most <3)
We ( , Cindy and me and some more people) just made the train to get back. I was home at about 01.30 or so. Earlier than Thursday, when I went to see the Five o'clock heroes at Utrecht.
This week off of school is a busy week, two concerts! and friday was my only free day, and I had horseriding and went to town with . And we played Bleach on the wii at midnight.
So I didnt get much sleep, because I rarely sleep till late in the morning. I just wake up at 9.

And there's some more I've been thinking about. (and talked about with some friends.. much love and thanks to specially and )
But its a different subject and I'll make a journal about it soon. Still thinking about it.

x
Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22905218/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22905218/ Fri, 30 Jan 2009 13:54:49 PST

I wanted to be safe, concidering my art study and appliance exams, so I did two.
I got applied at ArtEZ in Arnhem. <3
and now I got in at Windesheim in Zwolle too!


I have a luxury problem! I didnt think I was good enough to even get applied to one
I'm choosing for ArtEZ, I fit in there better. Ghehe, all those ppl are crazy! I feel so at home there bhahaha

<3

And I want to thank the ones who truely believed in me, that I could do this. All your support made me releax in such stressing times.

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22775708/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22775708/ Sat, 24 Jan 2009 06:45:45 PST
I"M AN ART STUDENT NEXT YEAR.

Well, student for teacher of art and design



I'm soooo exited <3

just wanted to let you know,

I"M GOOD ENOUGH
YEAH

This, my ( ) friend, requires much and a

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22713716/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22713716/ Wed, 21 Jan 2009 13:20:46 PST
Gerrit is/was the old farmer at the end of the road of Marijke's farm. I used to go to him often, because the sheep of Marijke are in his meadow and in the winter the horses are too.
And the carriage is stored there.

I used to chat with him every once in a while. Once a week most of the time. End of 2008 he got a new hip. He was so happy that he could walk better, even with the crutches. Just last week he walked without them.

He even gave me money for my birthday, to buy ice skates.

And now, in a period when I feel bad, he dies of a heartattack.

Gerrit Müller, you meant alot to me, were like my grandfather. A great friend, may you rest in peace.


Ilonka who, hours after hearing the news, finally cries.

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22625956/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22625956/ Sat, 17 Jan 2009 02:17:08 PST
Where is your cell phone?
In my pocket , right one.

Boyfriend/Girlfriend?
no

Your hair?
blonde, just been cut. A symmetrical.

Your favorite thing?
hm that’s a hard one hmmm.. Gifts from friends ! <3

Your dream last night?
Something with cookies, but my bunny Taylor woke me because she was active from 3.15 till 3.40, so I don’t remember the rest.

Your favorite drink?
Blue Curaçao & tequila & Rum & whiskey & chocolate milk & water & ice tea

Your fear?
To lose a friend.

Where were you last night?
at work.

What are you doing right now?
Being at school, discovering I still had this quiz and filling it in now on my own laptoph.

Do you like muffins?
Yeeaaahh <3 chocolate ones.

Where did you grow up?
First in a small town named Barneveld, now in Zutphen.

The last thing you did?
Painted at school during my art classes?

What are you wearing?
Mah new vest! <3 <3 <3 (iz birthdaypresent)its black & green, with pointed hoodie and dragon print on the back! And my grey skinny’s with green star on them. My black&green DC shoes (guess what are my fav colours?)

Your TV Show?
Kim Possible, Teen titans, Avatar, Bleach, Ghost Whisperer.
Your pet or pets?
Amy (female guineapig) , fat and sweet. Taylor (female bunny) curious and weird. And my three fishies.

Your computer?
Is a laptop! Yiihaa

Your Life?
What about it?

Your Mood?
Mah, I’m ok. Thoughtful mostly. I have my good moods and my sucky ones.

Missing someone?
Sort of

Your vehicle?
A bike !!!

Your work?
I work at a supermarket.

Like someone?
Don’t know, not really?

Color of choice?
BLACK and GREEN.. doy

Last time you laughed?
when my sister just showed me a pic

Last time you cry?
Few days ago. Fighting parents eh?
I don’t cry easily, but sometimes I just have moods when I cry a lot.

How many people do you trust?
just a few

A song?
She walked away - barlowgirl

5 songs that remember you 5 of your friends?
1. Seaside – the kooks . Marije ofcourse!
2. hitohira no hanabira – stereo pony . Raisa!
3. 5 years time – Noah and the whale. Josien
4.
5.

A song that makes you cry?
Family Portrait – P!nk

Why?
It hurts how much its like the truth. It just reminds of the past.

Your first kiss?
First first that went the wrong way, or my real first kiss that I wanted?

With who?
My first real love

The last time you kissed someone?
Newyears eve

A month?
august-september

Why?
The grass in the meadows gets cut and fills the air with its smell of hay, late in the evenings when I go horseriding or biking. Its just awesome.

Morning, afternoon or night?
Night and morning

Sunset or sunrise? why?
Sunrise, its so pretty and new and clean.

Black or white?
Black

sun or moon?
Moon

IN 2008........

1) Did you kiss anyone?
Yes

2) Did you date anyone?
Nope

3) Are you going to kiss someone when the ball drops?
say what? I dontknow

4) Did you lose any friends?
Yes

5) Did you gain any friends?
Yup, most awesome ones.

6) Did you do something new?
I do always something new when I get the chance.

7) Did anyone important to you die?
yes

8) Did you change?
Si, mucho

9) Are you happy with the year overall?
half

10) Are you happy the year is almost over?
It already is, but I don’t care

11) Are you going to change something about yourself next year?
Not on purpose

12) Do you think 2009 will be a better year than 2008?
probably not ¬¬

13) Did you go on a summer vacation?
Yes! Zandvoort and Mexico

14) Did you lie to your parents?
many I guess

15) Did you get into a fight?
yush . I don’t swim from Europe to Mexico.

16) Did you leave the country?
multiple times

17) Did you have a good birthday?
my 17th in 2008 or my 18th in 2009? 18 was awesome http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22588204/ Wed, 14 Jan 2009 23:51:54 PST I HAVE 9000 Pageviews

Thank you! <3
I love you!

I was having some issues (fights) at home, and my english exam (which I think went well), so I wasnt focused on it. I could've held a contest or so. nah, just wait till I reach the 10K. BHAHAHAHAH

<3
raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22279698/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22279698/ Tue, 30 Dec 2008 12:41:30 PST
I had fun at my 17th birthday, have lots of great friends. Da has been going good, I celebrated my first year here.
Da also had its 8th birthday.

I added Taylor and my fishies to my family.
But 2008 is the year I lost Jildou.

Even when I type this down I have tears in my eyes. She'll never leave my mind.

I have been stressed about Urziena's life. She had her ups and downs. I have had so much sorrow in the time she was doing aweful. I'm so glad the blacksmith came with a solution and saved her life.


2009 will be the year I hope to graduate from school. And I hope to be accepted for collage. It may also be the year I might be moving.
Yeah , I think this is the time to tell you guys. There have been (are) massive fights about me getting 18 on January 3rd and financies. My parents are so ****ed up about it. I might move to my dad's house. But things are uncertain still. Its just stressing.

2009 will be the year of many Deviations and happy times with my DA and reallife friends.

I love all of you, and wish you a happy 2009
Please be careful with that firework. Mkay?

<3

Ilonka

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22239482/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22239482/ Sun, 28 Dec 2008 08:51:59 PST everythings going so great at home.





oh that was funny..


well anyway, said I should do this, so here we go.

1. Smoked. [ ]
2. Consumed alcohol. [x]
3. Slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex. [x]
4. Slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex. [x]
5. Kissed someone of the same sex. [x]
6. Had sex. [ ]
7. Had someone in your room other than family. [ ]
8. Watched porn. [ ]
9. Bought porn. [ ]
10. Done drugs. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 4

1. Taken painkillers.[x]
2. Taken someone else's prescription medicine. [ ]
3. Lied to your parents. [x]
4. Lied to a friend. [x]
5. Been to rehab. [ ]
6. Done something illegal. [ ]
7. Cut yourself. [x]
8. Hurt someone. [ ]
9. Been to a club. [x]
10. Seen someone die. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 9

1. Missed curfew. [ ]
2. Stayed out all night. [x]
3. Eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself. [x]
4. Been to a therapist. [x]
5. Snuck out of the house. [ ]
6. Dyed your hair. [x]
7. Received a ticket. [ ]
8. Been in an accident. [ ]
9. Wished someone to die. [ ]
10. Been to a bar. [x]
TOTAL SO FAR: 14

1. Been to a wild party. [ ]
2. Been to a Mardi Gras parade. [ ]
3. Drank more than four beers in a night. [ ]
4. Had a spring break in Florida. [ ]
5. Sniffed anything. [ ]
6. Wore black nail polish. [x]
7. Wore arm bands. [ ]
8. Wore t-shirts with band names. [x]
9. Listened to rap. [ ]
10. Owned a 50 Cent CD. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 16

1. Dressed Gothic. [x]
2. Dressed prep.[ ]
3. Dressed punk. [ ]
4. Dressed grunge. [ ]
5. Stole something. [ ]
6. Been too drunk to remember anything. [ ]
7. Blacked out. [ ]
8. Fainted. [ ]
9. Had a crush on a neighbor. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 17

1. Snuck into someone else's room. [ ]
2. Had a crush on your friend. [x]
3. Been to a concert. [x]
4. Dry-humped someone. [ ]
5. Been called a slut. [ ]
6. Called someone a slut. [ ]
7. Installed speakers in your car.[ ]
8. Broken a mirror. [ ]
9. Showered at someone of the opposites sex's house. [x]
10. Brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 20

1. Consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper. [ ]
2. Seen an R-rated movie in theater. [ ]
3. Cruised the mall. [ ]
4. Skipped school. [x]
5. Had surgery. [x]
6. Had an injury. [ ]
7. Gone to court. [ ]
8. Walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping. [ ]
9. Caught something on fire. [x]
10. Lied about your age. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 23

1. Owned/rented an apartment.[ ]
2. Broke the law in the police's presence. [ ]
3. Made out with someone who had a gf/bf. [ ]
4. Got in trouble with the police. [ ]
5. Talked to a stranger. [x]
6. Hugged a stranger. [x]
7. Kissed a stranger. [ ]
8. Rode in the car with a stranger. [ ]
9. Been harassed. [ ]
10. Been verbally harassed. [ ]
TOTAL SO FAR: 25

1. Met face-to-face with someone you met online. [x]
2. Stayed online for 5 hours straight. [x]
3. Talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight. [ ]
4. Watched TV for 5 hours straight. [x]
5. Been to a fair. [ ]
6. Been called a bad influence. [ ]
7. Drink and drive. [ ] -
8. Prank-called someone. [ ]
9. Laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex. [x]
10. Cheated on a test. [x]

TOTAL SO FAR: 30

-If You Have Less Then 10.. write [I'm a Goody Goody.]
-If You Have More Than 10.. write [I'm still a goody goody.]
-If You Have more Than 20..write [I'm average.]
-If You Have More Than 30..write [I'm a bad kid.]
-If You have more than 40..write [I'm a very bad influence.]
-If You Have more than 50..write [I'm a horrible person.]

I'm avarage
well, ok. not. got too many.
I'm a bad kid.

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22077721/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/22077721/ Sat, 20 Dec 2008 01:03:15 PST My mom asked me and my sister two days ago if we wanted one, and if so we could get one ourselfs. And we said no(picture two not too tall girls on bikes with a tree.. Not a good idea right?) it is too late for a tree anyway, in my opinion. She asked it on the 18th, well I dont think thats worth it.
But we dont even have Christmas lights or ANY Christmas mood in the house or garden. Not that I want fancy things, lights everywhere and such. And I know my mom is too busy. But,, yeah I get jelous at people over it.

Families, happily together around these days. Being nicer towards each other. Watching a movie or talking around the table. Well, spending time together.
My parents are divorced, thats not a big deal anymore, but it reminds you around Christmas. But thats ok.
But my mom is away alot, she works and she does a study (which is really good of her and she's nearly finished but she's gone much of the time). My sister goes to her best friend, where there are Christmas lights and a tree, and she fits in with the family as if she belongs there.
I sit behind my laptop. In my room. Accompanied by my three fishies, guineapig and bunny.
I don't want to sound sad, I watch movies with friends ocasionally and we do fun stuff. Or hang around DA. <3

Raeven

And, im pasting this in my journal. Got it from

10 SERIOUS REASONS WHY GAY MARRIAGE IS WRONG

...

1) Being gay is not natural.
And real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning, tattoos, piercings and silicon breasts...

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay.
In the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior.
People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract. Lamps are next.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all;
Hence why women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed;
And we can't let the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children.
So therefore, gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our population isn't out of control, our orphanages aren't full yet, there's no kids out there who want to be adopted, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children.
Since, of course, straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion.
In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home.
Which is exactly why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms.
Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Re-post this in your own journals if you think marriage should be based on love.

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21879979/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21879979/ Mon, 08 Dec 2008 11:06:40 PST I don't wanna become 18.


I have to grow up in less than a month. Well, at least my mom says so. I have to act more like an adult when Im 18.
But I just want to be filled with 'childlike wonder' like Ron from Kp (yeah, its in the movie for the ones that dont know)
And well, there's just too much fuss about being 18. I can get my drivers licence here in Holland (yeah , here in Europe you have to be 18. I knooow) But I'm not going to get it. Honestly, I can go everywhere I want by biking for.. well, most of it just 10 minutes. Or when I want to go to a bigger city I'll go by train. So why drivers licence? I dont even like cars.
1 Horsepower is enough for me

So.. well, its just coming awefully close, my 18th birthday. Less than a month away!

psh

Oh,
and I found such an awesome spot here in Zutphen, to ride with Urziena. And , I have to go there with my camera someday soon, its beautiful! <3

Ok, Im busy again.
Sorry for not uploading that much, I have a whole bunch of sketches here taht I still have to upload. But I'm just too lazy to scan them all. Im (still) working on 's birthdaypresent as we speak. But its near completion

well,
i love you guys and girls

x
raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21777115/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21777115/ Tue, 02 Dec 2008 01:42:45 PST (For the ones who dont know; in Holland we get grades from 1 to 10 (10 being the highest) )
So I'm satisfied with that. Though it brings my avarage of a 9.2 down

And
the 5th of December (at the Dutch feast of Sinterklaas) My dad will be back in Holland He was with his girlfriend in New Zealand for vacation. And I miss him. I didnt see him in a month! Well, ok, normally I only see him one weekend every two weeks, but hey, its still my dad.

x
Raeven

oh, i think taylor wants to say hi..
here she comes.

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkdjjm ';
'[o

ok. that was it. bye!

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21708036/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21708036/ Thu, 27 Nov 2008 23:12:32 PST THANK YOU FOR THE 8000 PAIGEVIEWS

Didnt do a little contest now, because I'm too busy
But next time there will be one On to the 9000! And then, the big 10! <3

I love you guys and girls.

My best friends: (no special order)

and my sister ofc

And I love all of you who read it , I cant put everybody in this journal, I feel blessed with so many friends <3

Love
Raeven



-----


aaaand because I got tagged by my socalled 'friend' ahaha

Put a 'x' in the one your worth and once your finished with the quiz it all of your points together to see what your total is....

Hair Color:

[x] Blonde = $100
[] Brunette = $50
[] Red = $75
[] Black = $15
[] Bald = $5
[] Other=$2

(100)

Eye Color:

[x] Blue- $150
[] Green - $75
[] brown $50
[] Hazel $100
[] Other - $15

(250)<... ]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21630610/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21630610/ Sun, 23 Nov 2008 12:32:53 PST really, I did. On friday, in the horrible weather, I went to the petting zoo where I used to work. And got one of the bunnies they have that are brought in by people who cant (or wont) keep them.

The reason I got a bunny, is because Amy (my guineapig for the ppl who dont know that yet) was FREAKING OUT. Honestly! The little animal went crazy! She paniced alot and ran around suddenly. She had a wound on her back , which she caused herself. She broke of bits of 3 of her 4 front teeth. She ate bad, drank near to nothing.
I think she was feeling lonely.

Now that I have Taylor , a small, female, white-brownspotted bunny; she acts normal. Just.. Normal.
After half an hour that I put them together, they were sniffing eachother and were perfectly ok. Now (two days on) they're licking eachoter.

I'll take some good pictures of her when I have time, for now you'll have to settle with this one.
[link]


Ehrm *thinks of more info to tell.*
Its snowing! <3 <3 <3
But it sucked that I couldnt go horseriding.
And for the news on my art:
Ill have to upload some sketches


one of the most massive edits i've done:
Congrats ! <3
My dear friend has seen a lot of winters already, and added another one WITH SNOW HERE IN HOLLAND I MAY ADD.
<3 happy birthday big buddy!


luv you all
Raeven

----------------------------------------

clubs I'm in:

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21430891/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21430891/ Tue, 11 Nov 2008 00:03:59 PST Amy gót a baby. And it was huge.
Too large for a guineapigbaby at least. But it was still too early.
So the baby didnt make it through the night. But thankfully Amy is alright.

I dont think I'll try again. She has to rest for a bit, and if I want to have a male guineapig with her again I'd have to wait till .. hmm.. march 2009 or so? And Amy isnt the youngest anymore.

The baby was a pretty one though. Straight hair like his mother, not the spikyness like Ozzy. And almost entirely black with a white stripe over it and some brown spots.
But it had a hole near his hind legs, that looked like an open wound. You could see its kidneys. So it didn't have a big chance at survival.

Its sad, but its life.

x
Raeven

----------------------------------------

clubs I'm in:

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21203575/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21203575/ Tue, 28 Oct 2008 14:55:02 PDT I am sooo busy lately. Today I went to school and had to buy a plant for my fishies (one of them died two days ago.. so I had to clean the tank and get some new green for them). And I had to eat a pizza in record time, then bike to work, and work for 4,5 hours. And so continues my week.

I am sure Amy (my guineapig for the ones who do not know yet, or forgot) and Ozzy (the male one) did some magic, so I hope she finally gets some babies.

AND ... I am so happy! I have 60 watchers! My 60th watcher is my great friend <3 I love her to pieces. ANd I'm glad you all appreciate me and my art so much!

OhOHohohohoh! I have the admission thing for my new school I want to attend I want to do the study of art teacher <3 So I'll have to do admission tasks ( i really dont know if im saying it right this way.. I hope you understand.) ANd I hope I'll pass. Im nervous!

What more to say... hmm..
I dont know.

Love you all!
x
Raeven

----

clubs I'm in:

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21075001/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/21075001/ Tue, 21 Oct 2008 08:10:48 PDT

As you have probably noticed from my pictures, Urziena is doing great thanks to the new irons! So thats more reason for me to go riding whenever I can Hahahahah.
And I draw mostly during school, so in this week off I havent drawn as much as usual. Though I still have to upload some sketches.

I'm (still) working on Song for . My first try utterly failed, so i've to try again. The sketch is finished, now I have to watercolour it

I cleaned out my room today, (which it needed badly). And ehm. Studied for my English test tomorrow. And before all that I walked with the baby donkey Dodo. Who I still have to put up for sale.. Ok thats the next thing I'll do.
Marijke is selling him, because he's a stallion (which isnt really useful in a group of mares, when he gets at age) and we already have two donkeys.

Any interested (Dutch) buyers? lol. ok i'll go put an advert on internet now.

--editttt--
I sold Dodo People who contacted me on the advert for the donkey. And came looking today. (they drove from far!) and , bought him He'll get a good home. With some other horses and cattle. And they bought one of the white goats too. ^^
just to keep you updated.

x
Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20702773/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20702773/ Tue, 30 Sep 2008 08:12:42 PDT Evil tag!
I got tagged by

Dear

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your sister. I think I realized it that night in your apartment and I saw you drive out my best friend. I'm sure you're Senile enough to understand that there is no solution to this. I'm returning the pictures from LA to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I always have felt dirty before our friendship.

Your everlasting enemy,
ilonka

I tag

and here's the [link]

-------
the features

Because the awesome featured me, I'll do this in my journal too.

The first ten persons who comment on my journal will be featured <3

1 my good friend great to see u again!
[link] this is just so important *tear*
[link] She's such a good writer! GO READ !
[link] brilliant!

2 , believe me, I can do this without a subscribtion
[link] Salem is a great photographer!
[link] sailing trip? *drewl*
[link] and a very good colourer!

3. who has been really active lately.
[link] which shows that she has improved!
[link] cuz i love her dog and the angle of the photo
[link] rose !

4. !
[link] fiery!
[link] *melt*
[link] experimenting with colours ís art!

5. my friend <... ]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20599047/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20599047/ Sun, 21 Sep 2008 09:43:37 PDT got my 6666th paigeview!
So sweet So she just has to say what she'd like for drawing.
OH and her art is awesome

There was the Chocolate festival today in Zutphen . SO MUCH FUN
CHOCOLATE EVERYWHERE

<3

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20487161/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20487161/ Sun, 14 Sep 2008 10:40:26 PDT
I went out with Awaz, Manon and Paula. Who are three awesome girls. First we went to a couple pubs/cafes and Paula and I played a game of pool.
We met two guys around midnight, Martijn and Caspar. So we started talking and decided to go dancing all together . After we waited for their friend Joris to join us, we headed to the Boulevard (danceclubdiscothing here in Zutphen) and danced the night away. It didnt take long for Paula to start kissing with Martijn (which surprised us much, but was cool). And later Awaz and Caspar kissed too.

They were all stuck to eachoter and Manon, Joris and I were like: now what? Manon started off as a joke: Well, why do we stay behind eh? So, we kissed just to get reactions. Which left Joris alone, poor guy. Awaz was like : OMG FTW?! and the guys were like :
We laughed sooo hard
I really dont care what anyone thinks. It was our night, after dancing with everybody and having one last drink we split up again, Paula, Awaz, Manon and I biking for half an hour to Awaz her place, Manon biking a bit further to her own.

Yeah, I just had to tell u about last night

-----
Muhahah

The person, who catches my 6,666th pageview will be rewarded with a pic !

I think it'd be fun to catch it
Y'all still know how it works right?

you see the pageviews, click th ebutten ' prt scr' and paste it in , well paint for example

Good luck!

x
raeven

--------

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20447912/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20447912/ Thu, 11 Sep 2008 23:22:36 PDT
There's too much on my mind. Besides the usual school/friends/homework/horses and everything, i'm constantly in fights at home. Somehow my mom and I keep fighting over everything lately.

She comes home and yells at me to clean things up or something. I'm just doing my homework on the pc!

I'm glad I have the horses, my bike, listening music and my drawings. They're my escape. And I've learned myself to shelter emotions. So I dont have to feel them.

And this is soooo one of my favourite songs, keeps stuck in my head forever.
"She Walked Away"

She couldn't take one more day
Home was more her prison now
Independence called out
She had to get it

A fight was all she needed
To give her reason
She slammed the door with no goodbye
And knew that it was time

Now she's driving too fast
She didn't care to glance behind
And through her tears she laughed
It's time to kiss the past goodbye

I'm finally on my own
Don't try to tell me no
There's so much more for me
Just watch what I will be

She walked away
Couldn't say why she was leaving
She walked away
She left all she had believed in
She walked away

Not a day goes by
For the one she's left behind
They're always asking why
And thoughts of her consume their mind

God please let her know
The love we tried to show
We'd promise anything
If you'd just bring her home

Tell her we love her
Tell her she's wanted
One more thing God
Tell her please come home
Please come home

The choice is yours alone now
Tell me how this story ends

[spoken:]
While the son was still a long way off
His father saw him, and felt compassion for him
and ran and embraced him and kissed him
"Let us celebrate for this child of mine was dead
and he has come back to life,
He was lost and now he is found"
and they began to celebrate
[Luke 15:20 and 24]

because of this amv [link]
---------

Muhahah

The person, who catches my 6,666th pageview will be rewarded with a pic !

I think it'd be fun to catch it
Y'all still know how it works right?

you see the pageviews, click th ebutten ' prt scr' and paste it in , well paint for example

Good luck!

x
raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20374312/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20374312/ Sun, 07 Sep 2008 12:01:26 PDT



And he's not even for me!

Ok I'll explain.
Amy (my guineapig) had stayed over at the farm with the male guineapigs quite some time ago, with the goal to get her pregnant. But it seems she isnt pregnant. Cuz she would have given birth already if she was. Sooo, I took one of the males home with me today, and now he's staying over.

He's kinda punky and threecoloured. But since they dont get a name on the farm, he still has to have one. I though, since I named Amy after a singer (amy lee from evanescence) I want to name him after a singer too

Damien (damien rice)? or, hmm.
You say it!
What's a cool singer name?


---

Muhahah

The person, who catches my 6,666th pageview will be rewarded with a pic !

I think it'd be fun to catch it
Y'all still know how it works right?

you see the pageviews, click th ebutten ' prt scr' and paste it in , well paint for example

Good luck!

x
raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20282059/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20282059/ Mon, 01 Sep 2008 23:57:42 PDT The only channel where I could watch teen titans (here in holland that's net 5) changed it for Punk'd

I rose at 6.50 am each monday, tuesday, wednesday and tursday to watch TT and now its only on at Monday! HOW COULD THEY?! I dont want stupid punk'd!

I'll have to watch TT on youtube, bad quality.
*sigh*

-----------------------------------

Muhahah

The person, who catches my 6,666th pageview will be rewarded with a pic !

I think it'd be fun to catch it
Y'all still know how it works right?

you see the pageviews, click th ebutten ' prt scr' and paste it in , well paint for example

Good luck!

x
raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20245502/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20245502/ Sun, 31 Aug 2008 00:51:10 PDT

The person, who catches my 6,666th pageview will be rewarded with a pic !

I think it'd be fun to catch it
Y'all still know how it works right?

you see the pageviews, click th ebutten ' prt scr' and paste it in , well paint for example

Good luck!

x
raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20212317/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20212317/ Fri, 29 Aug 2008 02:45:34 PDT I'm almost finished writing my fanfiction.
Shall I begin uploading already?
I decided to write it entirely before I upload, because if I write chapter by chapter it wont work. I tend to change things often

x
raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20185804/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20185804/ Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:25:04 PDT Im glad I like doing this :3 *whispers: that was a fact already* muhahah
ok going crazy now.

Rules:
1. Post these rules
2. People tagged must post 8 facts about themselves
3. Tag 8 people and post their icons in the same journal
4. Go to their page and send them a message saying they've been
tagged
5. No tagbacks

ehm ehm ehm ehme hme m Got tagged by.... *dum dum dum*

1. yeah it starts with one. Ehm. I got tagged by my sister!. booyaah!

2. There are too many random facts! I AM random! No wait, everybody is cool. I'm not I'm .. well what am I? .. Myself! YEAH ... though I'm not always happy with that -___-;

3 anyway this is 3 already. Im talking crap. But hmm.. hmm uhm. erhm. eh? Oooh yes I got paid for the first time at my new job thats fun ahhaha.

4. btw, its just another job at the supermarket. Nothing special. Oh yes, fact four, almost forgot. The belt I'm wearing is child-size, so its tight . bhaha interesting.

5. Oooh! I met a co-worker today who I like! I saw her and I was like:
hah stunned hm yeah.

6. aaah six already? I can go on like this for 56 more! I have some fantastic friends here on DA and they are: all of you! <3 And my friends here are awesome too *loves everybody*

7. I'm having troubles with numbers.. not in english, but I always say things wrong in dutch. I mix 65 and 56 up and such. Its hard..

8. I got two new manga books, so you'll be overloaded with uploads from me trying manga the first two are with Starfire
[link]
[link]

I think of more and more random, useless, uninteresting and pointless facts now
but I'll save them for another time.

I tag: Hey themightylemon got tagged by my sister! no fair NOO AND FLOWERMUSE TOO O_o
but I got 1. Muahahaha
and 2. ! NO WAIT RAZIAS GOT HER TOO. well .. be tagged twice then. puh.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

yeah Im finished. 8 is for... ]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20141199/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20141199/ Mon, 25 Aug 2008 02:23:55 PDT
AND I HAVE 6,000 PAIGEVIEWS

Thank you all so much !
*hyper happy*
I hit the 6k!
, We're going for the big 10 together

<3<3<3<3<3

Love you all

Hyper raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20126539/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20126539/ Sun, 24 Aug 2008 08:37:49 PDT
and I had my last one just.. hmmm.. 13 hours ago?

AND I HAVE SO MUCH TO UPLOAD..
Art, photos, drawings and everythign!

Specially my gift for my special friend <3

And I drew Teen titans, Kigo , Avatar and so much more! Pff.

It feels gooood to be back in Holland. I liked Mexico very much, but no place like home. It was SO WARM in Puerto Vallarta! O_o 32 degrees celcius.. Here in Zutphen its like hmm 17 or so

AND I MISSED YOU GUYS SO MUCH!
Glad to be home, Deviantart is my home too
With all my great friends here!

<3 u all

Prepare for deviation shower from me!

x
Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20029842/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/20029842/ Mon, 18 Aug 2008 19:44:17 PDT
Honestly.
I hardly get angry. Ok Im not amused by somethings sometimes (mostly my mom or somethng) But Ive never felt this before.

We were in the city center of Guadalajara, with my mom, my sister ( :iconraias: ) and friends ( Alicia and her boyfriend Henk and her daughter Eloisa).

Alicia and my mom said we would go for a carriage ride. And as you'll probably know im crazy for horses. But I reeeeeeeeeaaally didnt want to go.
The horse had to walk all day without breaks, hardly food or water. He clearly didnt enjoy walking in front of the carriage and when we petted him, his nose had some wounds and he didnt liked to be pet, becaus he thought we were going to hit him. When he noticed we were nice to him it was ok, but it was so sad.

I do not want to go in such a carriage. It goes against everything I feel for horses. So I said no. And my mom got angry. I'm not a hard child most of the time, and Im ok with everything most of the time. But I really didnt want to go. Let her be angry, Im not going.

So, Raisa, Eloisa and I said no, and the parents were all pissed. But we didnt go. And after 10 minutes I apologised and explained to my mom and it was ok.

But even when I think back to that poor horse, my eyes hurt with tears.

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/19918414/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/19918414/ Tue, 12 Aug 2008 15:06:18 PDT

I´m here in Mexico, in San Miguel de Allende to be exact.
Im sorry I cant read any of your messages yet. O.O
AND I MISS YOUUUU
hmm what more to say. Mexico city was great! And so were the piramids Teotihuacan (or however you write it.. )
Ehmm well I´m very exited for the rest of the trip, but also to be back home and upload photos and drawings and to talk to all you guys again. <3

Adios

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/19781115/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/19781115/ Tue, 05 Aug 2008 13:16:53 PDT
I'm going on holiday to Mexico with my mom and I'm very exited! I'll be off from the 8th of August till the 23rd of August. So I have to miss you all for 2 weeks!

And when I'm back , I bet there will be a shower of art

love you guys <3

x
Raeven

GOtz tagged!
Dear
I don't really know how to tell you this, but our horoscope doesn't match. I think I realized it that night in women's clothing and I saw you drive out my Kid Rock-collection. I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that there is no solution to this.
. I'm returning the couch cushions to you, but I'll keep the results of your blood-sample as a memory. You should also know that I always will remember a new life as a clone.
Your everlasting enemy,

Ilonka

Dear -name person-.
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.
___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home... ]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/19720155/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/19720155/ Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:16:28 PDT BUT NOW ITS MY TURN muahaha
I got to make some great shots and a few drawings

I went with my dad, his girlfriend and my little sister to a campsite in the south of Holland. Amy, my guineapig, went along and she had the time of her life, eating and eating and eating all day long. Did I mention she ate alot?
Anyway, I got sunburned the very first day, and not just a little bit, but BIG TIME. I was red. Reaaaally really red. And now blistering. And it hurts .. But well, I'll live.

And in a few days, I've got to miss you guys again, but this time quite a wile
Cuz I'll be on holiday to Mexico, with my mom! I bet it'll be fun, but I reaaally hope I can get internet somewhere and get some acces to Deviantart *addict*

<3 u guys
I'll upload some art tomorrow

x
Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/19493402/ http://raevenilonka.deviantart.com/journal/19493402/ Sun, 20 Jul 2008 02:08:55 PDT I'm sorry, I have a slight set-back. Not as much as I used to have. That was worse.

Thinking about the happy things in life. Trying not to think of certain things in the past, but they always seem to emerge. I really dont get myself. My summer break is great, I had loads of fun with friends and the horses. I discovered I like icecappuchino and I got to ride on Urziena again. So, how could I let this happen?

*sigh* sorry guys, for the rant.

Raeven

]]> ~raevenilonka