http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:rankleatedot&section=today deviantART RSS for by:rankleatedot en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Thu, 03 Dec 2009 11:55:36 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/25040453/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/25040453/ Sat, 30 May 2009 20:52:41 PDT I'm sad to say that I abandoned art. I've done a few pieces over the past few years but not as many as I wish. The real world has been so... busy. I left school for a while and worked full-time at a job I hate. (still there) I haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up and that was like... 5 years ago. So I need to be doing that soon. :sigh:
I will try to be a better artist. Well, I can't help the talent, but I will produce more and practice more. I'm promising myself!
So, hello again my friends. I hope you are all well.

]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/15393107/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/15393107/ Tue, 06 Nov 2007 14:37:12 PST i was looking at my stuff and deviants with whom i used to be friends, and i realized that regardless of our relationship status i will always love their work. thinking about lost friends and loves is rough and troubling for someone who hangs on to memories like i do. i miss the times we had, the laughs, the tears, the secrets shared. sometimes i wish things could go back to the way they were before, but the i remember the present and am happy and content, for the most part, in my life. if things hadn't changed would i still be happy now? i don't think i would be.
i was out of school this semester. it wasn't the smartest thing for me, but it made me think about what i want to do. i definitely like being in school better than real life. lol. but i want to do art. all the time. and working at my crappy dead end job i never have time to do anything. i have all of these art supplies and no time to use them. as well i have all these friends and no time to see them. is that what being an adult is? if so i want to be something/do something that has to do with art so that it is in my life. anyone else feel happy or like they can do anything when they're working on a piece?
anyway. this update was just supposed to be a short "hi again" entry but it turned into a thought-filled ball of nonsense.
i hope everyone is great, the work i've been looking at and catching up on it amazing (as usual) and i look forward to seeing more! who knows, maybe i'll do some of my own.

miss you guys.

]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/5698855/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/5698855/ Sun, 19 Jun 2005 21:36:01 PDT But blah.... that's me right now. If you want anymore updates go to my xanga site, there's stuff there.
p.s. MIke... email me ok? ok, good. ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/5295989/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/5295989/ Sat, 07 May 2005 18:32:12 PDT Miss me much?
Yeah... I hear ya.
I checked this site and looked through 184 news pictures and such. I commented on some, don't hate me if I didn't though. I realized how much I miss this place and all of the beautiful things that I get to see from everyone. It's just been crazy here at school. With spring break then getting back and working like a crazy woman and then finals started.... oye. it's a little nutz.
I've kept my xanga site updated for the most part. So I'm gonna that addie on here and if you'd like to know what's been doin/what's new then you can check that out.
[link]
Otherwise... I'll be home in J-town in 3 days, I'll update a lot then. Plus, I have a bunch of artworks to put on here that I think are pretty good, and 14x17. I just lack a digital camera. So maybe my putzie baby can help me out with that when i get home? pwease.. i love you. hehe

ok, so it's movie night in my sama's room...... lol, again. So I'm out!

Much love to all!!!!!!
Lemme know how you've been doin!


Rachel ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4965659/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4965659/ Thu, 31 Mar 2005 22:55:52 PST
Please no comments/answers to this one.... it's just the question on my mind.



:sigh: ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4961830/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4961830/ Thu, 31 Mar 2005 14:41:26 PST so life has been crazy for a few weeks, ups and downs and back ups.
I feel like I'm pushing all of my friends away from me and I don't know why.
I'm scared about the end of this school year.
I don't know what the summer holds for me, and I feel like I'm running out of time to get my grades where they should be.
Emotions are crazy as usual.
My family is a bunch of nutcases, nothing new.
I'm getting anxious for color guard/marching band/some steady nice weather.
I'm a very jealous person and it's probably not a good thing that I am.
Blah- I miss my mom but she makes me cry so much.
Being sick sux.
I hope everyone is doing well.
I like choppy short sentences and such today.



Much love- holla' ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4777421/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4777421/ Thu, 10 Mar 2005 13:02:30 PST
I haven't posted on here in a while so I decided to uupdate you a li'l bit, lol, warning: it's another long'n:


Midterms were last week, and they frazzled me. I was so worried about them that I didn't go to art for a whole week so i could study for my math exams. Then after the math exams I actually was in a pretty great mood. They were, to me, alot of fun. I know, I'm a nerd.

Last Thursday after all of my exams were finished and I was hyper and happy and such, I went with Sam and Heather to the CAC to work on Becky's guard solo. (sam's sister) I always have fun playing color guardy, especially sine after I play around for a while my arms are all like toned and shtuff. But ya know, when Neena came in a did her normal "rachel's not existent" routine, my mood plummetted below the ground. It boggles my mind as to why I care so much as to how she treats me when I know why she does it, and I knew in advance that is was going to happen. What can i do ya know? oh well-o.

But after that week of Hell was over came the ever-so relaxing weekend. I slept Friday night from 11:30 p.m. to 3 p.m. on Saturday, ah the power of tylenol pm. lol. I vegged out and around the dorm, then Heather came back Saturday night and I went to this really well performed jazz concert featuring this tall cartoon looking guy Conrad Herwig. Apparently he's like Nationally known and all this. I just liked watching my outdoor band's drum major, Shawn Cookus, 30-ish with a beard, play the flute. hehe. Sunday my mom came up with Jerry and Joe and George, but Joe was asleep so only my mom and jerry came up to visit. They could only stay for a lil short while But I miss them, so it was good. Then later Chase-a-McKhoury came by and we had dinner with Sam and Heather and then we just talked for a long while. That was good to see him, he hasn't been up here since before my birthday.

Then Monday came today, it reminded me of that song on this commercial ... "Monday morning, came too soon..." Cause it freakin did. I was up til late Sunday working on a couple papers (3 am), and then I got up at 7am Monday to get up, eat, and go to classes. But I took a nap so I'm okay now.

Off the chronological b.s. of my life, some good news that I think I should post is that Sama Lee and I are gonna be roomies next year. I'm excited, and a li'l nervous. I'm scared that her and Heather might get sick of me being around and shtuff and I don't want that to happen. But I'm happy and hopeful nontheless. Also, according to my trusted source KatiePutz 'Harry Potter''s new book will be out this July! I know, stupid dorky Rachel, but seriously- if I could go to Hogwarts, I would. I love the series and though I don't like the author at all, stupid British ass, she knows how to write some good books. yupyup.

In other news, Spring Break will be starting this Friday night for us Shepherd University folk... and Sama, Heathers, Amy, and I are supposed to be heading to Baltimore's Inner Harbor for 2 days/1 night of thunder. lol, good song-ish. But that will be this coming Sunday into Monday, I hope everything works out well- I'm looking forward to this trip. yupyup.

Anything else I should be covering? hmmm....
I'm sad peeps.

lol, I'm really greatful of the fact that I have Sam and Heather as such close friends and that they're here at college with me- but sometimes I still get lonely. I miss Thomas, and seeing them together just makes me wish I could be with him like that right now. Blah... It's okay, Our Spring break's are back-to-back so maybe we'll get to spend some good long fun times together then. I hope I hope I hope....
:sigh:

Anywayz.... I'm done. I think that all the importants of my week have been covered. I love you all, and I hope that you've enjoyed these couple of nice days we've had... cause they're leaving tomorrow. I was liking this tank top and jeans weather. Oh well though... hasta all.



p.s. I loathe English alot, whole heartedly with a passion, it needs to die alot. grr ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4695792/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4695792/ Mon, 28 Feb 2005 18:20:27 PST I don't know why I'm sad anymore. I know that I lack happiness, but I don't know why exactly. Is it because the love of my life is 2.5 hours away? Is it because I hate school, and dread classes? Is it because I want to be with my mom? Is it because my grandparents, the only solid thing in my life, are now divorcing? Am I scared to be with someone because I fear in 45 years we'll seperate too? Is it because ny mother cries everytime she talks to me, and there's nothing I can do? Is it because my only friends at school are either happily together or never around?
I'm scared of being with someone. I'm scared of not being with someone. I cannot imagine my life without Thomas in it, but I can't imagine a future with him in it either. I don't know whether to let go so he can be free, or to hang on for dear life knowing that he loves me.
The only thing I want out of college right now is guard, friends, and freedom. I don't care about my future. I don't care if I go to class or not. I don't want my mom disappointed in me, I don't want to break a promise to Thomas, Heather, and myself that I would do my best. But in reality, I'm not doing my best. I'm just doing enough to get by and maybe pass.
This is not who I am. Rachel Suzanne Fello cares about her future. She has always wanted to go to college and make something of herself. She has always wanted to do her best to prove to herself that she can. But I'm not her anymore. I just want to cry and sleep and hide from the world.
Why? ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4681784/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4681784/ Sat, 26 Feb 2005 22:39:19 PST i just want to hold him and never let go but no

sorry

waste of an entry and your time

but i'm sad

]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4615061/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4615061/ Fri, 18 Feb 2005 13:43:53 PST I just want to sleep and draw all the time.
No classes.
No homework.
No eating.
Blah.
Why does life make you happy then take it away?
Stupid living, who needs it anyhow?!
Grrr. ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4556813/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4556813/ Fri, 11 Feb 2005 18:44:47 PST Last weekend:

My mom and brother picked me up Friday and took me back to my house. We hung out for a while and got Outback.... mmm, I love outback fooodz. Then my momma took me up to the high school to see my KatiePutz baby and Kelly. I gave Kelly her Christmas/birthday presents finally- and she seemed to be really pleased and surprised. A rifle, equipment bag, and guard gloves. I hope she's on the rifle line next season with me, though I don't doubt her talents. And she gave me a really pretty blouse for my birthday ... i like it. AND KatiePutz got me peanut butter candy and a pickle card which, is in my tummy and on my wall (respectively)

So the game was pretty aight, MM, Katie, and I were being silly at times and we were goofy- oh, and I kissed Katie's nose *hehe* And then at the end of 4th quater, I looked up and there was Thomas walking towards me with 2 dozen red roses in his hand. Do know, he told me that he couldn't make it back for my b-day. I was really kinda hoping that he was lying and would randomly show up, but I knew that he didn't have a car or any way of getting home. But surprise on me: he found a way.

After hugging him the rest of the game and then some, we said night to his partner in crime KatiePutz- I love you. Then he was like, "you wanna go to charlestown?" and i was like "uhhh..." cause i was floating on cloud 9 there people, I wasn't registering anything. So we stopped by my house to grab my coatcause it was chilly and tell my mom i was going out and put my beautiful roses in water. Then we were off...

We got all the way there, and while we were walking to the door he asked me, "you do have your ID right?" and I was like "oooooooohhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiit!!" So of course I felt horrible for making him drive all the way there just to turn around and go all the way back. But I liked the driving/riding with him- talk time and "be"ing time.

Then, as he laughed at me, and made fun of me the whole way home- we just went to his house and watched Pirates of the Carribean til late and then I went home. I was so happy just to be with him, he was the first person I saw/ first person that wished me a happy birthday saturday morning.

Then of course I went home late and slept til late. THEN I went out with Katie and Kelly and Thomas to see Phantom of the Opera again. I LOVE THAT MOVIE!! And I highly recommend it, 5 thumbs up ya'll. Thomas also gave me a really pretty necklace chain for me to put his ring on. Bets birthday I tell ya.... After the movie Kelly and Katie dropped Thomas and me off at his place and I watched TV with him and his parents for a long time. His parents are nutz, the good kind though. His mom makes me laugh alot, and his dad's snoring makes me double over from laughing- snorting including. hehe

But then he had to take me home cause it was getting late and we were both beat and had early/busy days. I definately did not want to leave him at all, let alone say good bye for another couple of months.

I hate saying good bye to him, I always cry- as soon as he left my driveway I broke down and cried. Kinda like when he left my dorm a few friday's back- I was a mess. But I'm nutz I guess.

Blah- I miss Katie and Thomas like nobody's business..... ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4501632/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4501632/ Sat, 05 Feb 2005 06:57:55 PST I'm so happy.... This has been the bestest birthday ever, and it's not even 10 am yet
I love my katieputz baby!!! Yupyupyup... she's the most awesomest cool person in the world!!
And I'm in love with the sweetest person alive. I am..... but I'll update more when i get back to school tomorrow!! I'm sure lots of good things will need to be told!!!


for katie putz

for thomas


]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4478534/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4478534/ Wed, 02 Feb 2005 10:03:42 PST Besides the fact that I knew this was coming, well not this specific thing this soon, but I knew she was pulling away. I loved being her roomie last semester. This semester she was just not there, like physically she was, but mentally she wasn't. She wouldn't talk to me or sam and heather, and she wouldn't eat with me anymore. So I guess I knew something big was up, but I didn't think it was gonna hit me this morning.
But oh well, this is what she wants/"needs". Maybe she will be happier over in Miller with the other Honors people. Maybe I didn't study enough for her roomie compatability standards. *sigh*
I'll always love her, and I hope she really is happy over there and knows that she's welcome back here anytime.
Blah
I need to go do something. ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4447175/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4447175/ Sat, 29 Jan 2005 17:19:16 PST It's strange being at school again, but then again everything feels perfectly normal. I've been back at Shepherd for 3 weeks, it feels like I've been here for a day and other times it feels like I never left. This semester is a work load. Even though it a few credits less than last semester, I feel the classes take more time. Mondays and Wednesdays I only have music and english, but tuesdays and thursdays I have Drawing for 2 hours, then Statistics for over an hour, directly followed by Trig- also over an hour. So my day doesn't end until after 3. I am so not used to that.... I haven't had a real class after 1 pm since 10th grade.
Oh well though. My first weekend here was a lil rough. I was very lonely and Mandy wasn't here and I spent all of Friday night crying with the door locked and the phones off. A few of my best friends got a little worried about me though. And so Saturday Katie and Thomas came to go get me , and took me back to J-town with them. I had so much fun with those two that saturday and sunday. And after they brought me back sunday and then Thomas left, Katie stayed with me til Monday. Monday morning katie, sam, heather, and I went to the bakery and had fun. Twas a good ending to a weekend that started off really crappy then turned wonderfully wonderful. The following weekend I stayed at school and Thomas came up Friday during the day and we got to hang out until like 9:30. That was an amazing day, lol, though Mandy and Mike were also here for some of the time But nonetheless, it was good just to be with him. And this weekend, I am here alone. Mandy, heather, sam, and neena all went home for the weekend. But it's ok cause chase came to visit me yesterday, i got to see my mom and joe today, and chase is gonna come again tomorrow to do the sunday morning bakery run with me. So for the most part, I think my weekends have been fairly decent.
On another note: I miss alot of people. Katie, yep- miss her a whole hell of alot, Thomas- man oh man do I wish I could see him everyday, Chase-a-mcKhoury- I wish we could spend some more time together to cheer each other up, my family- i know they get on my nerves while I'm home, but I still miss them alotalot, Kelly- I do wish that I could give her present already, by the time it gets to her she probably won't want it - and pretty much everyone else that I don't get to see or talk to nearly half as much as I would like to.
But ya know, my birthday is next weekend , and I'll be going home friday afternoon until sunday to be pampered by my family and loved by my friends. I'll miss heather and sam and mandy though, i probably won't get to see them that weekend which sux. But I dunno. Maybe it'll be fun to go home for a weekend, cause when it starts to snow and ice all the time i probably won't get to even if i wanted to.
And kids, so you know- I am happy. Though I don't have many friends at school, I have a few really great ones. I don't know how I'd make it without sam, mandy, heather, or amy. hehe even though heather and i are gonna get kicked out of english together
Oh, that reminds me.... Heather decided to drive sam to work last monday since it was icey and dangerous... so I went to keep her company while sam worked... she took me to see 'Phantom of the Opera', and that was an awesome freakin movie ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4397949/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4397949/ Sun, 23 Jan 2005 21:06:09 PST ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4253243/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4253243/ Thu, 06 Jan 2005 10:22:42 PST I start my first college art Drawing class Monday. I'm a little nervous, but so excited at the same time. Though I'll have 2 hours of art, it'll be directly followed by 3 hours of Trig and Stat. This semester will determine whether or not I want to teach art or math or both. I'm looking forward to working harder this semester, I was bored last semester and I don't do well at all when I'm bored. So, *crosses fingers*, I hope i hope i hope I do well. I promised Thomas and Katie that I would try hard, so for my future and my friends, I will be a good girl. But hopefully when my art class starts I'll have more to put in here. Sorry about not adding new shtuff recently, the digital camera/scanner I use is my roommates at college and I've been home for a month now. Blah.... But I'm gonna go start packing up my room to go back Sunday.
It's weird, I can't wait to go back to see Mandy, Sam, Heather, Greg, Anna, Amy, and my friends at school ... but at the same time I'm gonna cry alot because I'm gonna miss my friends from home and my family a whole bunch.
*sigh*
Later muh peeps ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4224499/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4224499/ Sun, 02 Jan 2005 20:52:18 PST lalalalala
I'm so happy
Oh so happy
So happy and cheery and happy again, lol
I am kids, I am happy. Though break is almost over and I go back next weekend and I have a scary doctor's app and a dentist app and a lovely shithole of a visit with the father's side of the family, I'm GREAT!!!
I've spent the past few days with some of my favoriteist people in the world. Chase, Thomas, Chase and Thomas, Thomas and Katie, Katie and Thomas again, lol, and probably s'more Thomas and Katie this weeke again- I hope I hope I hope. yupyupyupyup

lalalalala lalalalala
I don't even think I can describe to you my mood... maybe I can give a few helping words (thanks to thesaurus.com):

agitated, bouncy, brash, buoyant, chipper, chirpy, effervescent, effusive, elated, excited, exhilarated, exuberant, frothy, gushing, high-spirited, irrepressible, vivacious, zestful, zippy,captivated, charmed, ecstatic, elated, enchanted, entranced, excited, fulfilled, gladdened, gratified, joyous, jubilant, overjoyed, pleasantly surprised, pleased, thrilled, athrill, beatific, blissful, cool, crazy, delirious, dreamy, elated, enraptured, enthusiastic, entranced, euphoric, far out, fervent, flipped out, floating, flying high, frenzied, gone, high, hopped up, in exaltation, joyful, joyous, mad, out, overjoyed, rapturous, ravished, rhapsodic, sent, spaced out, stoned, sunny, thrilled, tickled pink, transported, turned on, upbeat, weird, weirded out, wigged out, wild, animated, aroused, blissful, cheered, delighted, ecstatic, elevated, enchanted, enraptured, euphoric, exalted, excited, exhilarated, exultant, fired up, flying, flying high, gleeful, high, hopped up, in heaven, intoxicated, joyful, joyous, jubilant, looking good, overjoyed, proud, puffed up, roused, set up, transported, turned-on. . .

I think that's enough, sorry for repeats, but I ain't goin through that figuring what's the mode.
But yeah.... I love Katie Putz!!!! ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4224497/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4224497/ Sun, 02 Jan 2005 20:52:05 PST lalalalala
I'm so happy
Oh so happy
So happy and cheery and happy again, lol
I am kids, I am happy. Though break is almost over and I go back next weekend and I have a scary doctor's app and a dentist app and a lovely shithole of a visit with the father's side of the family, I'm GREAT!!!
I've spent the past few days with some of my favoriteist people in the world. Chase, Thomas, Chase and Thomas, Thomas and Katie, Katie and Thomas again, lol, and probably s'more Thomas and Katie this weeke again- I hope I hope I hope. yupyupyupyup
:woot:
lalalalala lalalalala
I don't even think I can describe to you my mood... maybe I can give a few helping words (thanks to thesaurus.com):

agitated, bouncy, brash, buoyant, chipper, chirpy, effervescent, effusive, elated, excited, exhilarated, exuberant, frothy, gushing, high-spirited, irrepressible, vivacious, zestful, zippy,captivated, charmed, ecstatic, elated, enchanted, entranced, excited, fulfilled, gladdened, gratified, joyous, jubilant, overjoyed, pleasantly surprised, pleased, thrilled, athrill, beatific, blissful, cool, crazy, delirious, dreamy, elated, enraptured, enthusiastic, entranced, euphoric, far out, fervent, flipped out, floating, flying high, frenzied, gone, high, hopped up, in exaltation, joyful, joyous, mad, out, overjoyed, rapturous, ravished, rhapsodic, sent, spaced out, stoned, sunny, thrilled, tickled pink, transported, turned on, upbeat, weird, weirded out, wigged out, wild, animated, aroused, blissful, cheered, delighted, ecstatic, elevated, enchanted, enraptured, euphoric, exalted, excited, exhilarated, exultant, fired up, flying, flying high, gleeful, high, hopped up, in heaven, intoxicated, joyful, joyous, jubilant, looking good, overjoyed, proud, puffed up, roused, set up, transported, turned-on. . .

I think that's enough, sorry for repeats, but I ain't goin through that figuring what's the mode.
But yeah.... I love Katie Putz!!!! ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4196820/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4196820/ Thu, 30 Dec 2004 20:37:01 PST ~Cabbage
~Ham
~Potatoes
~Black-eyed peas
Why do they call them black-eyed peas?? They do not taste like peas. They taste like shiot. BUT the dinner pieces all have meaning to them for the upcoming year. Cabbage=wealth, Black-eyed peas=good health, and I dunno the rest... I'll give you an update after the dinner.
But on today- I got to see my cousin Robbie and hang out with Jessie. She's actually a really cool person. She's funny as crap and silly like me and though she listens to rap, has a 1.5 year old while being 6 months younger than me, is with my brother, and smokes... she's really cool to hang around. Although, I feel like crapola. I've been sick with the stomach virus since Monday, and I thought I was getting over it so I hung out with them... but ya know what? When I was over there, and when I got back home, I felt like the worst part was here. And my fever's back up again. Blah, blast my sick bad immune system all to hell. But hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow because a)i don't wanna go to the quacks b)i have a lunch with chase tomorrow c) i wanna go out tomorrow night. I've been either sick, hurt or depressed the past 3 New Years' nights. What I wanted to do was watch the ball drop with my best friend, but that ain't gonna happen... so I'm probably gonna go over to Paul's apartment and hang with Jessie, Robbie, Paul, and maybe their neighbors, though i hope not cause i don't wanna be around them. But I haven't decided if I'm going to drink or not. I won't be around anyone I don't trust, Jessie won't be drinking cause she can't, I don't really care anymore- I just wanna not be here anymore for the most part, and why not? I'm almost 19. Blah. But then again, I know I shouldn't, I won't feel well at all afterwards, my mom might kill me, and if they're smokin j's in the apart. I'll anxiety attack and heart spasm to death. Though I don't think they will cause Jessie can' handle that crap either. People think of her as a whore or a druggy, but she just works all day, makes good money, takes care of her son, and doesn't drink or do drugs, and the only guy she's been with is my brother. Soooo... what's so wrong with her? I dunno. But whatever. I feel crappy so I'm gonna sleep now I think
Night ya'll....
And if you're partying tomorrow night, be safe! But everyone have a great New Year!!!
]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4171902/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4171902/ Mon, 27 Dec 2004 18:40:33 PST Why is it that every time I fight with my best friend I feel like crawling in a hole and never leaving it? Somehow I get sick whenever we're not getting along. Maybe my body knows that I'm sad and just goes along with that.
It's cool when people want to talk to you because they miss you and/or they have a problem and you're the best person to listen and offer advice. But that rarely happens.
I have a problem kids, I can't put it in here because only 3 people know about it... and they don't read this. I wish I knew what to do. It's not that I'm confused or anything, I just- blah.
And I've got good present ideas/presents for everyone but Thomas I think I want to get the perfect gift, so nothing seems up to par.
I wish things were stable and ok and easy and not so damn complicated and grrr.
But yeah.... I love Katie Putz alot. ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4130365/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4130365/ Wed, 22 Dec 2004 18:57:21 PST Today was alot of fun. lol, I did absolutely nothing in the morning, and at 3:00 Chase picked me up and we went to pick up Thomas, and then we headed to Hagerstown's Valley Mall. The intention was to see my friends from school, Greg and Sam, but I didn't see either of them working while I was there but it's ok... I still had alot of fun lookin and shtuff and hanging with my boys. lol, muh homefries. 'Cept the problem with Valley Mall is I see twelve million and one things that I want for myself, and this is the Christmas season so I'm not allowed to do that. lol
But right now, I'm a lil pumped about my part in January, but scered at the same time. What if they don't like their gifts or their ornaments? or i bore them? Oh well, what will happen will happen and they will like lol, only kiddin. But I think we'll all be okay, hopefully there'll be enough room for everyone.
to katie putz cause she's leaving me But yeah......
to everyone... IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!! ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4114473/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4114473/ Mon, 20 Dec 2004 20:03:19 PST
I know I seemed to be a li'l depressed or something in my last entry, but I'd like to let you all know that I am ok. I made up with my best friend, and I went to kelly's birthday party with my bestest friends from home I talked to kelly's parents and it turns out that her mother was going to get her what i already got her for her christmas/birthday present. I can't wait to give it to her!!! Grr.... it's getting hard not to tell her. Everyone else knows, and I hope noone told her, but yeah- I'm excited. I really really hope that Thomas, PK, Kelly, and Katie can come to partay with me in January for my mini-after-christmas-late-mandy,kelly,ka tie-early rachel birthday party, lol. I got everyone an ornament that's gonna go on a tree for each of them individually. hehe, and lil presents and stockings. I'm excited... I'm probably the only peron who wants it to be a christmas party but meh- it's my room!!! oh well.... know that i'm happy and okay and mentally sane.... but i'm gonna go finish the million and twelve things i have to do tonight. bah ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4079196/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4079196/ Thu, 16 Dec 2004 08:27:05 PST
[link] ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4014513/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4014513/ Tue, 07 Dec 2004 20:21:37 PST I am home in Jefferson, Md. for a whole freakin month. But my fears from last time I was home are surfacing to be true. I do miss Mandy already, and my Sam hugs and my Heather 'shut-up buttfaces' and my Neena 'it's all about me' shtuff. I miss Greg and Anna and Ed and the rest of my peeps from guard and Sabrina (how funny is that?!) and I don't know.... the freedoms I have at college. Hopefully this break will be fun and relaxing and I'm hoping with everything that I have that I'll get to see my friends more than once or twice each. AND I hope beyond hopes that Mandy and I can go see Sam and Heather, and maybe even Neena , at Sam's 'Cookie Party'. I'm excited about it. Sam, Mandy, and Heather are 3 of my best friends. Hopefully next time we go to Chuck E. Cheese's Mandy can come too. hehehe But yeah.... I'm better after finals week. I still feel failurish but there's nothing I can do about it right now. So I think I'm gonna go sleep some. I'll write you guys's later.

me ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4002360/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/4002360/ Mon, 06 Dec 2004 11:30:13 PST I can't stop shaking and I feel like the littlest thing could set me off into a homicidal rage.
I don't care if I look like a scrub, no make-up, my comfy jeans and hoodie
If people don't like- they can go
aaaaahhhhhhhhhh
I just want to scream alot
My brain is choppy and I'm paranoid
I dunno
I'm gonna finish eating now
I'll write cheery shtuff later when I'm back to normal
Bye ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3990893/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3990893/ Sat, 04 Dec 2004 21:40:21 PST
"
It's been a really great weekend.... I love my Kelly and Katie and Heather and Sam and Mandy babies.... Thursday night tv make-up on Friday night with pizza and 'acquired' cake O, mall shopping, eating, parade'ing, night-time photo shooting of Shepherdstown, midnight giggles about Mandy (hehe, "sit-ups?") , "stupid girl" talk with Thomas but I was the one saying that.. yup, it's been a revalation- lol, bakery in the morning with Kelly, Katie, Heather, Sam, and Mandy, and I got to talk to them all this weekend and yeah- I love them.
But we're sleeping right now.... night all.



and p.s. I am pretty, beautiful in fact. Atleast I think so. But Yeah :-P
oh, and p.p.s. Kelly's the secret snorer- hehe :-D
"









i make them

we're all people


<




we're all tired so we're ('cept I'm )
nighty

I wanna be btw ... hehehehe ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3973901/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3973901/ Thu, 02 Dec 2004 16:30:59 PST Rankle and vacillate were SAT vocab. words in my 10th grade english class. Every time I heard either of those words in class I laughed out loud. Rankle reminded me of the phrase "penis wrinkle" and vacillate reminded me of vaseline which then made me think of anal sex. lol, don't ask. My mind is very silly, especially when I was in high school. But I told my friends Thomas and Cody this one day, and they thought it'd be funny to make me giggle all the time. So then Rankle and Vacillate became like nicknames for me. Eventually the only person calling me these was Thomas. And in truth, he's the only one that I will not hurt for calling me those names today. But to be silly and clever he came up with Rankleate. I liked that, it made me feel special.
Now, what about the rest? you ask. Well, Dot was my color guard nickname when I was a junior in high school. Everyone in guard had to have a nickname appointed to them by our "instructor" Leora (pron. Lee-or-uh), a.k.a. Le'whore'a. I was a very hyper and animated person, especially during guard time. So she named me after the animaniac sister Dot. I liked it, Thomas hated/hates it. But I will forever be known as Dot to the girls who were in my junior year's guard.
And so, in conclusion, RankleateDot is what I got by combining my favorite nicknames given to me.

I'm really insane, I promise. ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3963128/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3963128/ Wed, 01 Dec 2004 10:00:50 PST

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahooooooooooooooooooo ooo ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3881659/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3881659/ Sat, 20 Nov 2004 20:57:33 PST I hope her family isn't driving her nutz. If we had room here, and I was going to be here the whole break I would have offered her a room. And Neena's stuck up at school doing that stupid play orchestra. Blah....... I'm gonna go to sleep now I think. I'm sad cause dreams are not of me. Oh well-o... night


p.s. for katie putz and her throat feel better baby ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3870904/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3870904/ Fri, 19 Nov 2004 12:37:48 PST Oh, I think I'm going to switch my major when i get back to school after break. I can't do this much math just to teach algebra to 13 year olds. This place sucks all of the fun out of math
Blah... but back to the topic. Hopefully I'll have time this weekend/week to see my babies from high school and maybe see Thomas next weekend. I have to go to my aunt's house sunday to tuesday to help decorate my grammie's nursing home room and bake cookies with her..... i dunno how i'm gonna do with 3 days with my aunt. It's gonna be Hellacious. But what's gonna be even more tortuous is when I come back to school, I have finals. But from today, only 3 weeks til Christmas break. We get a month off. That will be nicer for me because I won't feel so rushed to see everyone in a week. But still sad cause a whole month w/o heather or neena or sam?@#$
Blah- I need to finish cleaning so we can pass inspection to leave. lol, funny huh? No ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3856345/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3856345/ Wed, 17 Nov 2004 10:21:52 PST


"Wait For Me"

All these miles, haunting questions linger in my mind.
And all the while, making bad decisions out of line.
Still I've tried, to let go of the danger in my life.
It's alright, when that's the only thing I've left behind.
And there's still time...


Wait for me. There's so much more of life for us to see.
You must believe, it's not because of you I've had to leave.
Wait for me. I only hope that you'll remember me.

At this time, I'm counting all the reasons I should stay.
Bottom line. I'm missing all the things I gave away.
I remind, and see your face every single day.
Still I'm blind. I wish that there was something I could say
To make things right...

Wait for me. There's so much more of life for us to see.
You must believe, it's not because of you I've had to leave.
Wait for me. I only hope that you'll remember me.

Just hold on a little bit longer.
Thoughts and memories will be enough
My need for you is only growing stronger.
I know you don't understand it much
But it doesn't mean I have to care about you any less
It doesn't have a thing to do with that.
There's still so many questions that are gonna' be addressed
I'm sorry that it had to be like this.
But there's still time to make things right.

Wait for me. There's so much more of life for us to see.
You must believe, it's not because of you I've had to leave.
Wait for me. I only hope that you'll remember me. ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3840015/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3840015/ Mon, 15 Nov 2004 09:44:12 PST This week - Thanksgiving Break week - One week - then finally finals week
It's gonna be nutz and busy but I get to see my babies when I go back home for a while. Good thoughts ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3837592/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3837592/ Sun, 14 Nov 2004 23:13:32 PST Kind brings your mood up ya know?
But my babies in BHMR (Brunswick High Marching Railroaders) got 15th place tonight at ACC's (marching band championships in scranton, pa) I am so incredibly, undescribably proud of them... I only wish I coulda been there huggin em. But anywayz...... it's 2:14 and I have classes in the morning... yay. Nighty all

I loved it when Cheer Bear petted my head when I was crying ]]> ~rankleatedot http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3831982/ http://rankleatedot.deviantart.com/journal/3831982/ Sun, 14 Nov 2004 10:06:38 PST ~rankleatedot