http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:razorsleavescars&section=today deviantART RSS for by:razorsleavescars en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 05 Dec 2009 22:16:00 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/27899449/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/27899449/ Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:53:36 PDT
I suppose I'll be putting more things up, all in due time.

A few tidbits of news:
I'm now married, I've moved, and I'm 22. The end.

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/22976183/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/22976183/ Tue, 03 Feb 2009 01:59:58 PST
And remember - you CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

. Your Name:
Rachael

. Famous Artist/Band/Musician:
Ramones

. A song:


. 4 letter word:
Rape

. Color:
Red

. Gifts/present:
Red Fire Truck

. Vehicle:
Ram

. Animal:
Rat

. TV Show:
... can't think of one

. Location:
Rome

. Boy Name:
Ray

. Girl Name:
Ray

. Drink:
Rum

. Occupation:
Rapist

. Sport:
Running

. Flower:
Rose

. Celebrity:
Rachel Ray ( )

. Food:
Rum Cake

. Something found in a kitchen:
Rice

. Reason for Being Late:
Rabies

. Something You Shout:
Run!

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/20309177/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/20309177/ Wed, 03 Sep 2008 14:39:24 PDT
I went to the winery with my mother and step father today. It was awesome. I like dry wines.

Happy birthday to me.

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/20244605/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/20244605/ Sat, 30 Aug 2008 23:05:55 PDT You keep pulling me down
Way up high
Im drowning

I feel the wind
the breeze so gentle
in your hair
you shield your eyes to the strength

dream a thousand dreams
of you
me
drifting through an ocean of
energy
watching life swim by
fly by

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/20047613/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/20047613/ Tue, 19 Aug 2008 18:52:46 PDT
I've been thinking, pondering the circumstances, and I realize where I have gone wrong. It does seem that a lack of trust in people causes much error in any relationship, however hard it is to trust that person. I try as hard as I can to trust, and eventually I will reach that point when I'm able to give myself up and just let go.
I love someone deeply, without love in return.

I am driving myself insane, but that's okay.

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/18439694/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/18439694/ Wed, 21 May 2008 22:49:01 PDT
]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/17958383/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/17958383/ Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:52:17 PDT
I feel dead.

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/17403154/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/17403154/ Tue, 18 Mar 2008 22:11:03 PDT
Yesterday, March 18, at 4:15 in the morning, my cousin Janisa died in a car accident in Dallastown. She was driving a friend home (or so it's been said) and she lost control of the vehicle and crashed into a telephone pole and a parked car. She died on impact. Investigators said that there were no skid marks on scene and thus she made no attempt at slowing. She was probably asleep at the wheel. I'd like to think that Janisa had given up on her drinking and drug use, and I hope that she just fell asleep at such a late hour. Luckily, either way, her being unconcious meant that she saw nothing coming and there was no way that she felt anything.
My Aunt (her mother) wants to see her again, for closure, to say good-bye to her. It's going to take a while though.
One of the sadest things about the whole situation is how Janisa has three children. (she's 26) Her oldest daughter is with her father, and in a good environment (a possitive) but her two younger children are not so lucky. My family would take them in, but my step father cannot have children around him (under 5 years of age) for quite some time because of his condition at the moment. So these kids will probably go to their father who has been in and out of jail for the longest time. I don't feel good about that, especially with Janisa's youngest child being so sick with cystic fibrosis.

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/16854607/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/16854607/ Tue, 12 Feb 2008 19:25:57 PST That sounds delicious!!!!!

*spray spray*

OHHHHH!!!! I was wrong, I was HORRIBLY wrong!!!!!!!

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/16544525/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/16544525/ Wed, 23 Jan 2008 22:40:51 PST
Johnny bought a copy of a top-selling violent video game over the summer break before high school. Johnny would play all day long until his parents came home from work. Shortly after school started back up in September, Johnny stole his fathers 9mm handgun and stored it away in his locker feeling that it would better protect him from the “bad-guys” at school. One day, triggered by the taunting from his “evil” classmates, Johnny pulled out the 9mm and proceeded to wipe out all of the “evil” in his school.
The general consensus would be that the actions that Johnny took (only months after buying a violent video game) were not normal. However, many people would entirely blame the event on the video game alone; believing that the violence in the video game was the sole contributor to the actions Johnny took at school. However, there is little evidence found that backs up that thought, and no court cases where games were found to be a contributor to adolescent aggression.
There have been many studies that take into account the adolescent’s own view of their aggression levels after playing these violent games, however, there have been other studies that have been inconclusive as to raised aggression due to the games, and studies where the findings were the complete opposite—games can decrease aggression levels by providing a release. In some studies, although the findings of high aggression positively correlated with the duration of violent video game play, the findings were inconclusive once all other environmental factors are removed. (Griffiths 205)
One of the most cited experiments was published in 2000 by Craig A. Anderson. Although the findings of the study indicated that violent video game play increases aggression levels by "… priming aggressive thoughts. Longer-term effects are likely to be longer lasting as well, as the player learns and practices new aggression-related scripts that can become more and more accessible for use when real-life conflict situations arise." (Anderson) This particular study relied on the experiment that used college students, one group playing the violent game Wolfenstein, the other playing the puzzle game Myst. Although the students were measured as to their aggressive tendencies beforehand, the experiment only involved a twenty minute game play session of two entirely different types of games. Such studies state that there is a positive correlation between game play and aggression levels, “But such studies do not demonstrate that [video game] violence causes aggressive behavior, only that the two phenomena exist together.” (Sternkeimer)
“Theoretically, video games might have the capacity to promote aggressive tendencies (as predicted by social learning theory) or to release aggressive tendencies (as predicted by catharsis theory).” (Griffiths 204) In a recently published article in Psychology, Crime and Law; it is stated that both aggressive and cathartic effects from violent game play “…are mediated by the player’s feelings immediately prior to game play and labile temperament—one predisposed to aggression—and that these variables predict people’s reactions with an average 73% concordance rate.” (Unsworth)
“If a parent looks at the ratings and ignores…significant violence, strong language, sexual themes, and buys that game anyway, I’m sorry, that’s not…a failure of ratings, that is a failure of parenting” said ESA president Douglas Lowenstein on “NewsHour.” When people against violent video games speak out, they tend to create this image of millions of violent games on every shelf. In all actuality, games that require an M (mature) rating are in the minority of produced games. There is a wide array of appropriate game choices available for every age group. Considering how the violent video games that are generally in question are M rated, how can it be such a problem when the average gamer is not under 18, but in his/her thirties!
I recently conducted my own “experiment” through Counter Strike: Source (a violent first person shooter) where I questioned people throughout their game play over the semester. Throughout the semester I questioned my “subjects” as to how their day was, how aggressive they were during the day, how aggressive they felt immediately prior to game play, their aggression during play, their aggression immediately following play, and their general aggression levels. I used 3 people as my subjects for this experiment (I will use their ages for privacy). 33 Year old male reported that he had low aggression levels on average. He stated that his days were usually good, sometimes boring. Whenever he had a “bad” day, he stated that he felt calmer after playing. He stated that his aggression had decreased significantly from when he signed on till midway through game play. 14 Year old male reported that he had average aggression... ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/14469668/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/14469668/ Mon, 03 Sep 2007 10:25:17 PDT
]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/14356788/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/14356788/ Sun, 26 Aug 2007 22:00:13 PDT
I'm really not looking forward to having surgery tomorrow, but that's cool...them bastards need to come out.

Surgery: 10:45am report to hospital
sometime later, after they dose me with the not letting me screamy pills
--I sleep
--they drill
--I wake
--all done?
I hope so.

Complications involve:
The possible loss of toe(s), foot, leg, or other.
Other? what the hell else are they gonna remove? my fucking hand?

haha

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/14318773/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/14318773/ Fri, 24 Aug 2007 12:14:05 PDT Psych Student, Artist
2. What color are your socks right now?
An earthy rainbow
3. What are you listening to right now?
System of a Down
4. What was the last thing that you ate?
One of them Uncrustables things, and no...my sister just handed it to me
5. Can you drive a stick shift?
Sorta-ish
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Blue!!!!! But one of those crayola blues with a weird name
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Michael (I don't count hospital staff)
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
You mean stole it from, right? Yes, Dani is awesomeness.
9. How old are you today?
19 still... *whines*
10. Favorite drink?
Mountain Dew (Pitchblack or Game Fuel) or Ramune
11. What is your favorite sport to watch?
uhhh...Extreme Basket Weaving!!!!
12. Have you ever dyed your hair?
Many many times.
13. There was no question for 13, how weird is that???? very weird
14. Pets?
Sugar, the bishon-shitzu doggy monster and Confucious (the awesome all knowing fish)
15. Favorite food?
sushi, cookies, or...pasta!!!
16. What was the last movie you watched?
A Scanner Darkly (weird as hell)
17. Favorite day of the year?
Guy Fawke's Day, or Pi Day....both amuse me greatly
18. What do you do to vent anger?
I beat up my brother and sister....lol
19. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Sticks and rocks
20. What is your favorite fall or spring?
Autumn
21. Hugs or kisses?
uhm....hugs when it comes to candy, both when it comes to physical-ness
22. Cherries or Blueberry?
uh....raspberries?
23. Do you want your friends to email you back?
I don't use my email, bitches!
24. Who is most likely to respond?
Nobody...didn't you read the above?
25. Who is least likely to respond?
Damned questions
26. Living arrangements?
Mother, Stepfather, Sister, Brother, and half of a brother
27. When was the last time you cried?
When they didn't give me the Klondike bar no matter what I did.
28. What is on the floor of your closet?
Lots of shit!!!
29. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending this to?
No one, I'm just posting this
30. What did you do last night?
Sleep, I'm pretty sure that's what most people do at night.
31. Favorite smells?
What kind of question is this??? I dunno, Vanilla or Tea
32. What inspires you?
Stuff
33. What are you afraid of?
If I told you, you'd know.
34. Plain, cheesy, or spicy hamburgers?
wtf is a spicy hamburger? cheesy, I suppose.
35. Favorite dog breed?
Husky or that little midget husky thing, or a wiener dog, cuz them's damn funny
36. Number of keys on your key ring?
3, I think
37. How many years at your current job?
hahaha....alot?
38. Favorite day of the week?
that day when I get to f'ing sleep
39. How many states have you lived in?
2
40. Favorite holiday?
Look at favourite day of the year.
42. Ever driven a Motorcycle or heavy machinery?
nope
43. Who's your favorite NFL team?
I don't like football
44. Do you have a house phone that is NOT cordless?
Yeah, actually...we just don't use it.
45. 10 inches of snow or 100 degree weather?
the snow, oh god please give us the snow!!
46. If you could have any occupation in the world, what would it be?
The kind where I don't have to answer these damned questions

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/14295335/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/14295335/ Wed, 22 Aug 2007 21:33:18 PDT
The Red Badge of Courage
Sarah, Plain and Tall
Where the Red Fern Grows
The Catcher in the Rye
Nine Stories
Frannie and Zoey(sp?)
American Gods
Anansi Boys
Neverwhere
Coraline
Stardust
Psyche
The Color of Water
As I Lay Dying
Everything's Burning
Night
Romeo and Juliet
Julius Caesar
MacBeth
Hamlet
A Midsummer Night's Dream
The Grapes of Wrath
Of Mice and Men
Metamorphosis
Bridge to Terabithia
Memoirs of a Geisha
Shattered Mirror
Gingerbread
Cut
The Good Earth
The Scarlet Letter
Don Quijote de la Mancha (read it in spanish, dumb asses)
Don Juan (I think that was the name of it)
Go Ask Alice
The Black Chalice
Huckleberry Finn
The Hot Zone
The Crucible
The Three Theban Plays (Oedipus, Antigone, that one in the middle of them)
Siddhartha
One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest
The Secret Garden
Communist Manifesto
Ethan Frome
The Hatchet
To Kill a Mockingbird
The Call of the Wild
White Fang
The Inferno/Dante's Inferno
Many tales and poems of Edgar Allen Poe
Christmas Carol
The Waste Land
Legend of Sleepy Hollow (I grew up near there )
Grimm's Fairy Tales (alot of them anyway)
The Black Pearl (or something to that extent)
The Hobbit
Sliver
Rosemary's Baby
some stuff by stephen king when he used that penname of his :/
and more....hehheh
to be continued, losers

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/14288840/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/14288840/ Wed, 22 Aug 2007 13:36:22 PDT
Uhm...dunno what else to say here.

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/12889686/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/12889686/ Tue, 08 May 2007 15:31:17 PDT
they put three screws in meh leg. One in my ankle to hold the bone there that completely broke off and two going from the tibia to the fibula, and I've got a clamp on that one bone to hold it together.

basically my doctor screwed me three times and I still can't walk.

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/12160628/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/12160628/ Mon, 12 Mar 2007 18:36:44 PDT I have not yet signed anything, but I'm trying to get into shape first so that they don't have to make me get into shape.
Yeah...hopefully I'll get into Crytologic Tech. as an Interpreter; that would be so freakin' awesome!
mmh hmm

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/11907027/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/11907027/ Wed, 21 Feb 2007 10:56:47 PST
series:
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Great Teacher Onizuka (GTO)
Dragon Ball Z (funny, I know)
Sailor Moon (also amusing)
Escaflowne
Pokemon (hilarious)
Digimon (equally hilarious)
Card Captor Sakura
Tenchi Muyo
Tenchi Universe
Gundam Wing
Gundam 0080
Outlaw Star
Record of Lodos War
Speed Racer (fuh-nnee)
Now and Then, Here and There
Serial Experiments Lain
Cowboy Bebop
Hamtaro (I don't know why)
Elfen Lied
Trigun
Hellsing
Excel Saga
FLCL
Inuyasha (until I got bored of it)
Magic Knight Rayearth
Neia-7
Candidate Goddess
Paranoia Agent
Ronin Warriors
Rurouni Kenshin (for a while)
Witch Hunter Robin
Wolfs Rain
Yu Yu Hakusho
movies:
Akira
Perfect Blue
Blood the Last Vampire
Vampire Hunter D
Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust
Char's Counterattack
Cowboy Bebop: Knocking on Heaven's Door
Escaflowne
Evangelion: Death & Rebirth
Evangelion: End of Evangelion
Evangelion: Revival of Evangelion
Spiritied Away
Kiki's Delivery Service
Ghost in the Shell
Cat Soup
Grave of the Fireflies
Jin-Roh: Wolf Brigade
Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz
Mononoke Hime
Ninja Scroll movie
X
Yu Yu Hakusho movie

there might be more, and there probably is more...

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/11575353/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/11575353/ Fri, 26 Jan 2007 11:41:18 PST College: 1st year-Messiah College 2nd year-HACC 3rd year-don't know yet where I'll be
.:. Favorite soda: Mountain Dew
.:. Favorite band(s): The Cruxshadows, The Beatles, Throwdown
.:. Favorite animal: fishes
.:. Favorite weather: Either snow or a thunderstorm

Do You:
.:. Have a girlfriend/boyfriend: yes, Cory
.:. Like someone: I like people...but you mean do I LIKE someone...so yes, and it's Cory
.:. Want more piercing: yes...alot on my ears, on the back of my neck, and to the right of my right eye
.:. Want a tattoo: I have one, and I want more.

Last:
.:. Person talked to in person?: My mom's boyfriend, John.
.:. Person talked to on the phone?: My mom
.:. Person you hung out with?: Cory
.:. Last movie watched: Empire of the Sun
.:. Last Movie Saw In theater: Children of Men and Happy Feet (saw it a few days before)

Have you:
.:. Ever cried over a girl or boy: Yes.
.:. Ever been arrested: Almost.
.:. Ever had a friend die: Hmm....well, a cousin and my sister died
.:. Ever used a gun: Yes, I'm a pretty good shot.
.:. Ever finished a puzzle: Yeppers.
.:. Ever got surgery: Had my tonsils removed.
.:. Ever hated someone: Yes.
.:. Blue or red?: I love Blue.
.:. Spring or Fall?: Autumn. (I prefer the dead of winter though)

Random stuff:
.:. Criminal record?: Uhm, fine-ish.
.:. Braces: Never had 'em, and I'll never need 'em.
.:. Do you have any pets?: My family has a tarantula and a doggie.
.:. Mood: Was confused, but now I feel better.

Level 1
Shoplifted? yes, I do it too much too!
Been fired? never
Been in a fist fight? almost

Level 2
Snuck out of your own house? Once.
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Nopers.
Gone on a blind date? Never.

Level 3
Had a crush on a teacher? Nope. My mom thought I did though.
Skipped school? Yeah.
Slept with a co-worker? Hell no.

Level 4

Been to Canada? A few times.
Been to Mexico? Never, but I want to go.
Been on a plane? A few times, I love flying.

Level 5
Eaten sushi? I love sushi...I eat it as often as I can.
Been surfing? Nope.

Level 6
Been in an abusive relationship? I suppose so.
Taken painkillers? Yep.
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yeah.
Made a snow angel? Mmh hmm.

Level 7
Had a tea party? Yep. want to have another one
Flown a kite? Once.
Built a sand castle? I tried to.
Gone puddle jumping? Yeah! Hell yeah!
Played dress up? All the time, baby!

Level 8
Jumped into a pile of leaves? Yeah.
Gone sledding? Yeah.
Cheated while playing a game? Who hasn't? Jesus?
Been lonely? Yes.
Fallen asleep at school? All the time.

Level 9
Used a fake ID? Never had to.
Watched the sunset? I love to do that.
Felt an earthquake? I actually saw stuff fall off of a shelf when that really big one happened the other year....so, yeah?
Touched a snake? Yes.

Level 10
Been tickled? yes
Been robbed/vandalized/had anything stolen from you? yes


Level 11
Won a contest? Yeah.
Suspended/expelled from school? Never, only got detention once. (I'm such a good girl)
Had detention? Oh...once.
Been in a motorcycle accident? Nope.

Level 12
Had braces? Nope.
Had deja vu? Yeah.
Danced in the moonlight? Yes.

Level 13
Hated the way you looked? Yes.
Witnessed a crime? Yes.
Questioned your heart? Yes.


Level 14
Barefoot through the mud? Yes.
Been lost? No.
Been to the opposite side of the country? Yes, both of them.
Swam in the ocean? Yes.

level 13
Cried yourself to sleep? I do that too much, it sucks.
Played cops and robbers? I don't think so.
Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers? Yeah.
Sang karaoke? Once.
Paid for something with only coins/ what coin? A random assortment that consisted of mostly pennies.

Level 16
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yeah.
Made prank phone calls? Yeah.
Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose? Yeah.
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes.

Level 17
Written a letter to Santa Claus? Yeah...I was stupid.
Been kissed under a mistletoe? No...he wouldn't kiss me.
Looked up at the stars with someone you cared about? Yes. ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/11562915/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/11562915/ Thu, 25 Jan 2007 09:32:07 PST
Happiness...I hope you've felt it before.

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/11507310/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/11507310/ Sat, 20 Jan 2007 15:29:18 PST
remember that.

I kinda feel like removing my sex organs....

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/11218319/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/11218319/ Thu, 28 Dec 2006 03:02:12 PST Would be enough
If I could find it

I would give anything
Everything
To feel now
To be
Now

Mechanical
And I don't care
I just don't give a fuck
If it's not you there

I just need that touch
Even if it's cold
And dead

I'm disappearing
And there's no coming back

I would give the world
My life, even
If I could have you now
But I can't

Some things are better
When they're cold
And I know that's how
It's supposed to be now

Cold
Icy cold
So I can be warm tonight

........

Scarred and broken
She's nothing clean
She's seen how it is
She knows how it goes

She'll lead you there
You wont have to find
The way there
No one knows better than her

There's nothing new
Nothing she's not seen
Nowhere she hasn't been
And no one hasn't had a taste

Spoiled and rotten
But they always beg
They fucking beg for more
On their knees

She'll be there
Waiting
When you need your fix
She'll have it for you

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/11206553/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/11206553/ Tue, 26 Dec 2006 22:53:33 PST
Tell me a story.

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/10981149/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/10981149/ Thu, 07 Dec 2006 08:08:25 PST AGE:: 19
SEX ::Female
SEXUALITY:: Bi
BIRTHDAY:: September 3rd, 1987
BIRTHPLACE:: A Hospital? (Horton Hospital in Middletown NY)
CURRENT LOCATION:: Hanover, PA
HERITAGE:: From Greatest to least: Irish, Native American, Swedish, British, Greek
EYE COLOR:: Green
HAIR COLOR:: Naturally Blonde
HEIGHT:: 5'5"
PIERCINGS:: My ears were pieced...I want to get them done more.
TATTOOS:: 1 on my wrist.
WHAT COLOGNE/PERFUME DO U WEAR:: Stuff that smells like candy. I do like POISON though.
TAG LINE:: I'm currently addicted to calling people DOUCHE


*FAVORITES*

COLOR:: blue
MUSIC:: Rock of some sort.
SPORT:: Archery
HOLIDAY:: Guy Fawkes Day (it makes me giggle)
FOOD:: Sushi and soup


*THIS OR THAT*

HUGS OR KISSES:: Depends on who it's coming from
PEPSI OR COKE:: I don't like colas, but I like Pepsi products.
MCDONALDS OR BURGER KING:: Burger King, if I had to choose.
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA:: Vanilla
LOVER OR FIGHTER:: A little bit of both.
FRIENDS OR FAMILY:: I consider my true friends to be family.
LOVE OR MONEY:: Love
LISTEN TO SOMEONE TALK OR TALKING:: I like both.
PERSONALITY OR LOOKS:: Personality.


*IN A BOY/GIRL*

EYE COLOR:: Blue
HAIR COLOR:: Dun Care
SHORT OR LONG HAIR:: Longish
HEIGHT:: Taller than me.
STYLE:: Unique.
PIERCINGS OR TATTOOS:: I don't care about them.
HOT OR CUTE:: Both.



*FRIENDS*

WHOS UR BEST FRIEND:: Other than Cory, it's Dan. (HI DAN!!!)
WHOS THE LOUDEST:: hmm...Maggie or Lauren
WHO HAVE U KNOWN LONGEST:: Dan
WHOS THE SHYEST:: I think that would go to Becca.
COOLEST FRIEND:: They're all awesomely awesome.
PRETTIEST FRIEND:: Eh...Lauren is hot...
WEIRDEST FRIEND:: I don't know.


*LOVE*

ARE U IN LOVE:: No
IF YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE NOW, HAVE U EVER BEEN:: Yeppers
DO U BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT:: No
LONGEST RELATIONSHIP:: (year and 1/2)
WOULD U GO OUT WITH SOMEONE JUST FOR THEIR MONEY:: Never.
DO U GO ON "PITY DATES":: No
KISS ON THE FIRST DATE:: I did.
SEX ON THE FIRST DATE:: No


*RANDOM QUESTIONS*

DO U DO DRUGS:: I did a few times, they're overrated
DO U DRINK:: Very rarely, but I don't get drunk.
DO U WANT TO GET MARRIED:: Yes
DO U WANT TO HAVE KIDS:: Yes, 1
DO U BELIEVE IN URSELF:: I think I'm real, but I might just be like santa.
DO U THINK UR ATTRACTIVE:: sometimes
WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE U SAW IN THE THEATER? WAS IT GOOD:: SAW III or Man of the Year..they were both good.
CAN U HANDLE THE TRUTH:: Usually
BIGGEST WEAKNESS:: I'm not trusting
BIGGEST FEAR:: Dark rooms where the door is open
MOST MISSED MEMORY:: That day I went for a walk alone in the rain on campus.
FIRST THOUGHT WAKING UP:: What time is it? Am I late again?
IF U DONT RECOGNIZE THE NUMBER ON UR CALLER ID, DO U ANSWER:: It depends.
HOW DO U WANT TO DIE:: I don't.
DO U GET ALONG WITH UR PARENTS:: With my mom.
DO U SWEAR:: Off and on, Bitch.
NUMBER OF PAST THINGS U REGRET:: I don't regret anything.
WHAT TIME IS IT:: 11:06am

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/10496208/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/10496208/ Tue, 24 Oct 2006 10:39:46 PDT

Will you come?
Please?


Okay, I understand.

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/10113487/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/10113487/ Mon, 18 Sep 2006 16:24:21 PDT ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/10089972/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/10089972/ Sat, 16 Sep 2006 10:39:44 PDT ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/10008701/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/10008701/ Fri, 08 Sep 2006 12:24:06 PDT That I'm more than you think
That I'm just too dead tired
Of how you fail to see

I wish you could hold me
Like you used to do
But you just take me
For granted

I'm nothing to you anymore
Nothing at all

I'm all alone when I'm with you
All alone without
You never give me a second
And that's all I need

Just a brief moment here and there
Just a fleeting glimpse

I want to see that you still love me

But not with someone else. ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/8671513/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/8671513/ Thu, 04 May 2006 12:01:29 PDT
My itinerary for this summer:

May 9th--take last finals
--sell last of books
--reapply for menial job
Later in May--Work for cheap (but more than most other people there )
-- Be with the one I love
Early June--uhm...work and stuffs
June 13th (I think) -- Go to Newfoundland
The rest of June and early July -- Do Canada stuff

July 13th ish--Return to US
End of July--uhm...work?
-- Painting and shit like that
August-- Same?
Sept. 6-- Start classes at my community college place



I know I've left out alot of stuff that will be going on in there...but those of you who know of such things know that I know. Or you pray that I do. Oh yeah.... Happy early Birthday Cory. Happy Early Birthday!!!!!!!!

and also, to my brother, happy early 14th...don't worry, it's not much longer till fifteen.

]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/8579461/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/8579461/ Tue, 25 Apr 2006 09:17:27 PDT ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/8571173/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/8571173/ Mon, 24 Apr 2006 12:59:41 PDT

How does the world see me?
Scars of Time - Yasunori Mitsuda

Will I have a happy life?
Born - Nevermore

What do people really think of me?
Children in Black - The Cruxshadows

Am I attractive?
Mistress - Disturbed

Do people secretly pine after me?
You Eclipsed By Me - Atreyu

How can I make myself happy?
English Fire - Cradle of Filth

What should I do with my life?
I Am The Walrus - The Beatles

Will I ever have children?
Take My Hands - Yoko Kanno - Escaflowne

What is some good advice for me?
A Sai En - Yoko Kanno - Macross Plus

What do I think my current theme song is?
Prayer - Disturbed

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Self - American Head Charge

What's really my current theme song?
Dance of Curse II - Yoko Kanno - Escaflowne

What song will play at my funeral?
Burn - Throwdown

What type of men do you like?
Stigmata Martyr - Bauhaus

What is my day going to be like?
Blackbird - The Beatles

Why am I here?
Coffin Fodder - Cradle of Filth

What will people remember me for?
Invasion of Torushina - Yoko Kanno - Escaflowne

What song will I get stuck in my head tomorrow?
Hurt - Johnny Cash's Version

Are there people outside waiting to take me away?
Ex Nihilo - Becoming the Archetype

What will this year be all about?
Ghost of Perdition - Opeth

What will be my next boy/girlfiend like?
Gilded Cunt - Cradle of Filth (Damn, I'm glad that I wont be having a next.

What will be my tomorrow dinner like?
Bad Dog - Macross Plus Soundtrack

Am I good at kissing?
My Acid Words - Nevermore

Should I go on a diet?
Under the Weeping Moon - Opeth

How will I die?
The War Machine - Zao

What will be the next important person I meet in my life?
Quelqu'un M'a Dit - Carla Bruni

What do my friends think of me?
Americunt Evolving into Useless Psychic Garbage - American Head Charge

What will be my next party like?
Abysmal - The Haunted

Will I ever change radically?
White Wedding - Murder Dolls

Will I be rich?
No Compromise - The Haunted

What will I do when I'm older?
Walk Away - American Head Charge

Is anything good for you?
Dragostea Din Tei - The O-Zone

Should I be religious?
Angels Fall First - Nightwish

Is there such thing as karma?
Sanity Assassin - Bauhaus

Should I give to strangers?
Strawberry Fields Forever - The Beatles

Should I invest in the stock market?
Into Oblivion - Becoming the Archetype

Is this random song thing any use?
Bloodline - The Cruxshadows

Does money grow on trees?
Harvest - Opeth

Should I keep doing this?
Devil Woman - Cliff Richards

Does my art deserve more attention?
In These Times Of Silence - Zao

Should I recycle?
Forever - Throwdown

Am I 1337?
Lilium - A. Elfen Lied

Will my art be a success?
Penny Lane - The Beatles

Name a Japanese Song.
Dakishimenai De - Escaflowne (Just freaky)

I'll stop doing this now shall I?
No need for song title...I'm fucking done with this shit. ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/8518700/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/8518700/ Wed, 19 Apr 2006 08:19:41 PDT
Uhm...I have no fucking idea of what I should talk about. Yeah. I'm fucking bored, but happy. I'm sitting here with bear , staring at the monitor like an idiot .

I love you, Cory. yay! ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/8121132/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/8121132/ Fri, 10 Mar 2006 12:09:12 PST who stole it from

My name is: Rachael
-nicknames: Veotz; You, hey, You!
-sex: Female
-birthday: September third
- color: blue
-star sign: Virgo
-place of birth: Middletown, NY
-current residence: 1/2 Grantham, PA 1/2 Hanover, PA.
-hair color: black and red naturally=brown.
-eye color: green
-height: 5'5"
-writing hand: Mostly my right hand, but I can use my left also.

-BODY ILLS + SKILLS-

-do you bite your nails: Only when a nail breaks.
-can you roll your tongue: No
-can you blow smoke rings: No
Can you blow spit bubbles: No
-can you cross your eyes: Yes
-tattoos and where: None at this time, maybe later.
-do you make your bed daily: Sometimes
-what’s sexiest on a guy: Personality (but that doesn't matter)
-what’s sexiest on a girl: Personality (but that doesn't matter)
-do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it: I twirl it...
-what utensils do you use eating pizza: Uhm...if it's messy I use a fork and knife.
-do you cook: When I need to. I can though.

-GROOMING-

-how often do you brush your teeth: Usually twice a day.
-do you shower/bathe: Yes.
-how long do these showers last: 5-30 minutes. It all depends.
-hair drying method: I towel dry it then I let it air dry.
-do you swear: More often than I should.
-do you pee in the shower: That's disgusting. No, I don't.
-what color is your bedroom: Grantham, white....but with lots of crap on it. Hanover, white....just white.
-do you use an alarm clock: I guess you could say that.
-name four things or people you're obsessed with:
1. Cory
2. uhm...anime, or I used to be.
3. Music
4. Cory
-What’s your sleeping position: I sleep on my side.l
-in hot weather do you use a blanket: I use a sheet.
-do you sleepwalk: I used to.
-do you talk in your sleep: Sometimes...or maybe frequently.
-how about the light on: I can sleep with the light on, but I prefer to have it off.

-WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU-

had sex: That's no one's business.
watched bambi: I don't know...12 years ago?
cried: The other night.
talked on the phone: This morning.
read a book: Heh.... I should read my books for school at least, shouldn't I?
-MUSIC-

is music important to you: No
do you sing: Yeah.
what instruments do you play: Bass guitar, somewhat.
what do you think of Eminem: I don't think of Eminem.
in your opinion what band is the best of all time: Uh...The Beatles are really good. But I don't know if they're the best of all time....

DO YOU LIKE-

pop music: I like some foreign pop.
rock music: Yes.
punk music: Some of it.
rap music: Not at all.
hip-hop/RB: Not at all.
country: Ha ha ha.... No.
jazz: No
classical: Yes.
new age: Uhm....I don't know.
hardcore: Yes, that I do.
indie rock: I probably like a little bit of it.
emo: A small amount of it.

-WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX-

What do you notice first? Personality. (not that it matters)
Do you have a crush on anyone: I suppose that you could say that. (I love you, Cory!)
Easiest to talk to: Uhm.... What?

-DO YOU/ARE YOU-

Could you live without the computer?: I could, I have, I'd rather not.
What’s your favorite fruit?: Ooooooooooo I like all kinds of fruit, uhm....mango and kiwi and pomegranate...and and and....
What hurts the most? Uhm...painful stuff?
Trust others way too easily? Nope.

-NUMBER-

Of times you have had your heart broken? 0
Of hearts you have broken? I think 1.
Of girls kissed? None of your business.
Of boys kissed? None of your business.
Of drugs taken illegally? 2 or 3
Of tight friends? 3
Of CD's owned? That I didn't steal?
Of scars on my body? I lost count a long, long time ago. But they no longer grow.

-OTHER THINGS-

I know: What child abuse does to people.
I want: To live a wonderfully happy life with Mine.
I have: A wonderful lover.
I wish: I could be with him now. (Only about two hours away from now I'll get to see him though.)
I hate: This doesn't matter, if you know me, you already know this.
I fear: Losing my Love.
I hear: Right now I hear music and some unmentionable thingi... ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/8095380/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/8095380/ Tue, 07 Mar 2006 16:15:58 PST How could someone turn to God when they are told that they'll burn in Hell because of their sins.
*sighs* I mean, these people never mention God's love.
Just His wrath.
That wont win people over, they'll think it's just another Shiva, or something, and then they'll continue on with their ways just to bother you.....
They'll think that the fakes were telling them about God's judgement just to put them down, to make them out to be lower than the fakes.
And you know what?
Those Fakes are sinning worse than the nonbelievers.
They don't see God for who He really is because of the fakes.
They're deceiving them.
And therefore, their punishment will be worse.
I know that's mentioned in the New Testament somewhere, about people who profess to be Christian, but they're faking it.
A perfect example, in most cases, of a fake Christian is the televangelist. I suppose they go into it for a good reason, I mean, you can reach so many people at once. But they end up serving money.
"You cannot serve both God and money."

And that was my rant. ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/7954988/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/7954988/ Mon, 20 Feb 2006 16:46:10 PST
I'm alone.

I can't quite remember what I'm supposed to do with myself now. I think that I'm supposed to cry now, I can feel that I'm supposed to cry now, that these tears should be here. I think I should go somewhere...find something.

Something.

I think I'll go away,
For just one more day. ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/7785410/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/7785410/ Thu, 02 Feb 2006 21:01:39 PST
Life is so fragile. I've heard it a million-fold. I don't think that anyone can truly comprehend life's weakness until they witness the end of it.

Why is she gone?

I know that I was not ready, but why? It still hurts me to know that it very well might have been my one and only chance.

I just had to speak of it. I had to. Venting can be good. ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/7242701/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/7242701/ Tue, 06 Dec 2005 21:51:21 PST <-- Visit him, you know you want to!


is great! Go visit his page and give him los muchos pageviews!


Click the icon! ---->


(Cory ga aishiteru.) ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/7029062/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/7029062/ Sat, 12 Nov 2005 17:02:51 PST ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/7013550/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/7013550/ Thu, 10 Nov 2005 21:37:58 PST ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6993130/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6993130/ Tue, 08 Nov 2005 17:45:07 PST
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

i'm so fucking bored...somebody look at my shit please! ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6956021/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6956021/ Fri, 04 Nov 2005 17:48:29 PST Name: Rachael Marie Brower
Birthday: 3/Sept./87
Birthplace: Horton Hospiral...Middletown, New York
Current Location: Grantham, Pennsylvania USA
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Light Brown now (used to be blonde) with colours, gonna be black
Height: 5'5"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Mainly right, but slightly ambidexterous
Your Heritage: Eh, Irish, Swedish, Native American, English, Greek...
The Shoes You Wore Today: Big Black Boots
Your Weakness: My left little toe...damnit, now you know
Your Fears: Dying in a car, my father, spiders (I'm getting better), Dark rooms with opened doors (dunno why)
Your Perfect Pizza: A white pizza with broccoli and tomato...you know, with ricotta cheese instead of sauce.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Get good grades in college to keep my scholarships
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: I don't have one.
Thoughts First Waking Up: Where'd everything go?
Your Best Physical Feature: I'm told my eyes are nice, and I sometimes like them too.
Your Bedtime: Whenever I'm tired.
Your Most Missed Memory: Being with Mine.
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi I guess, just because I like Mountain Dew.
MacDonalds or Burger King: Burger King, though both are bad for me.
Single or Group Dates: Single.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino.
Do you Smoke: I used to.
Do you Swear: Not too often.
Do you Sing: Sometimes.
Do you Shower Daily: Yeah, unless I'm incapacitated.
Have you Been in Love: Yes, am now.
Do you want to go to College: I am in college.
Do you want to get Married: I'm more than married as it is.
Do you belive in yourself: nope
Do you get Motion Sickness: No.
Do you think you are Attractive: Not at all.
Are you a Health Freak: Nope.
Do you get along with your Parents: With my Mother.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yes, I love them.
Do you play an Instrument: I'm learning to play the bass-guitar.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: No, never have and never will.
In the past month have you Smoked: Yes, but I've quit.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Nope.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: I guess that's what you could call it.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Yes, I love sushi.
In the past month have you been on Stage: No.
In the past month have you been Dumped: No.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: I'm sure I have, I'm kinda klepto.
Ever been Drunk: No.
Ever been called a Tease: By Mine.
Ever been Beaten up: No.
Ever Shoplifted: Yes.
How do you want to Die: Sleeping.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Funny question.... I'm gonna go into art and psychology.
What country would you most like to Visit: I want to go to Ireland and Germany.
.:In a Boy/Girl:.
Favourite Eye Color: Blue.
Favourite Hair Color: Dark hair, like Mine's.
Short or Long Hair: I like Mine's hair.
Height: Taller than I am.
Weight: More than I weigh, and a good weight for their height. Like Mine.
Best Clothing Style: What Mine wears.
Number of Drugs I have taken: ? eh...probably about 5 or 6, but that includes prescription drugs.
Number of CDs I own: Alot.
Number of Piercings: My ears, for now. I wanna get my tongue, nipples, more on my ears, and my bellybutton pierced.
Number of Tattoos: None yet.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: I regret nothing, I wouldn't be who I am, or where I am if I regretted anything. ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6942751/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6942751/ Thu, 03 Nov 2005 08:25:04 PST ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6914836/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6914836/ Mon, 31 Oct 2005 10:07:45 PST
I'm taking my pills again, though I don't really want to. I guess everyone is right in that I should be taking them, I'm not normal without them.

Well, today's All Hallows Eve (Halloween for you idiots reading this.) and I dressed up. Bet'cha can't guess what Veotz is today, can ya? ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6897208/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6897208/ Sat, 29 Oct 2005 06:53:40 PDT ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6872300/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6872300/ Wed, 26 Oct 2005 10:40:04 PDT ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6807464/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6807464/ Wed, 19 Oct 2005 08:06:39 PDT ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6793389/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6793389/ Mon, 17 Oct 2005 15:44:05 PDT ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6788684/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6788684/ Mon, 17 Oct 2005 03:49:53 PDT ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6733967/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6733967/ Mon, 10 Oct 2005 19:50:45 PDT
I'm really bored right now, and I'm slowly realizing that school work isn't fun at all. I tried to convince myself that it was, but it's not at all. ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6667796/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6667796/ Mon, 03 Oct 2005 10:51:50 PDT ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6635759/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6635759/ Thu, 29 Sep 2005 16:21:57 PDT
I hope that that is right, I don't know german. ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6550681/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6550681/ Mon, 19 Sep 2005 22:46:20 PDT
-vyc ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6538751/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6538751/ Mon, 19 Sep 2005 20:21:32 PDT --Slipknot

Always and Forever, Mine. A perfect toy with which to play...I love the way.
Mine. ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6483228/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6483228/ Mon, 12 Sep 2005 06:51:45 PDT
Onto serious shit.

Maybe the reason I'm alive at all is simply just to fill space. Honestly, what good could I amount to anyway? I suppose I could occupy my niche well, but I prefer to destroy it. It's cold here, but it's always like that.

And I give up on this.

I'm considering leaving DA...but where would I go? I don't know.... ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6475807/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6475807/ Sun, 11 Sep 2005 10:41:47 PDT
I'm cold, dangerous, painful, and easily unnoticed (though for a different reason).

I should put something philosophical up here...but not now, i guess ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6450007/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6450007/ Thu, 08 Sep 2005 12:26:54 PDT
In a way I suppose that we all deserve what does befall us. I am no better than all of mankind, not even slightly better. I am also no worse. To say that I am anything but average would make me some sort of animal. I think I'm disgusting....

I just want to go away. ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6442081/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6442081/ Wed, 07 Sep 2005 14:45:44 PDT
No...that's not me thinking. That's not what I think at all. I don't know why I have to bee so fucked up. I just sit around and revel in my shit, the filth I created. I admit that it's all my fault, but why must it fill my head with such violence?

I want to cry. I just want... ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6417068/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6417068/ Sun, 04 Sep 2005 19:59:44 PDT
If I'd only...
Then I'd be...
If they...
If you...

this is simply regretting the past. How can one expect to live with fulfillment if one is constantly questioning past motivations and actions? Can one truly find happiness in anything if they have regrets? I highly doubt that true happiness, or joy will ever be attained as they regret some action in life that got them there.
By stating that I regret ever meeting a certain cruel individual, I am denying that anything good, whether direct or indirect, ever came from knowing them.

If I'd only died
Then you'd be happy.

If I'd died, we never would've met in the first place.
How can I say whether, or not, you'd be happy? I can't. For all I know you might've actually been happier without ever knowing me, but I cannot be sure, and neither can you. From what you've said, I've assisted in bringing out the real you, what no one else knew about, something you thought to be totally unique.... You knew it was there, but I allowed it, I related to it.

to be continued... ]]> ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6385174/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6385174/ Thu, 01 Sep 2005 06:35:54 PDT ~razorsleavescars http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6346088/ http://razorsleavescars.deviantart.com/journal/6346088/ Sat, 27 Aug 2005 21:28:09 PDT I want to cry.

I had a nice day today...very fucking nice. I have the wounds to prove it! (not self-inflicted and not sarcasm)

I made a friend, Lauren, she's on here somewhere, but I don't recall her name. I'll figure that out though.

There's so much more that I've written, but nothing really seems to be my work. I don't understand. I'm just not appropriately inspired right now, that's all.
Right?

We've discovered that I am not human at all. No one could possibly heal as quickly as I do and still be human. I cut yesterday, really bad... the blood...yeah. It was about a 1.5 cm wide...and that's pretty bad, but now it's maybe a mm wide, already, and sorta healing over. I wonder what I am. If you know, please tell me. ]]> ~razorsleavescars