deviantART: by:rebeccaxx

deviantART: by:rebeccaxx http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:rebeccaxx&section=today deviantART RSS for by:rebeccaxx en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Tue, 22 Dec 2009 16:37:59 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png I don't believe in god, but I do believe I'm evil. http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28853791/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28853791/ Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:59:12 PST "Hey there, miss, remember me?"
"We used to have a ball."
She tells me she's excited
And agrees that we should talk

Yes
Let's have a drink
Let's have a talk
Let's meet at your place at nine
So we do
We drink some wine
We talk about old times
Then she cries
Says she's sorry
I tell her that it's fine
I move in close
I hold her tight
I tell her to relax or

If
she
moves
I'll
break
her
neck

This is for
Everything
Anytime
Anything
Breaking me
Leaving me
Stealing keys
Comes to an end

She
Cries
Stop
But
I don't see
Why I should
When she
Didn't for me

I
Say
Fine
But
It's
Too late

-----
updates on the weekend.

]]> ~rebeccaxx the ocean and the sun http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28849296/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28849296/ Wed, 09 Dec 2009 16:16:09 PST We are taught to think of our success in terms of numbers
If touching one persons life is a good thing,
then touching one thousands people lives must be a great thing,
ItÂs easy to see where we learned to think this way
Our whole society revolves around mass production
The more units we can move
The more customers we can serve
The more boats we can get
The more money and the more stuff we have, the better, right?
Maybe itÂs not possible to touch one thousand peoples thinking,
or as powerfully as one person.
Maybe itÂs not really so revolutionary after all,
to have one person out of a group of twenty, tell everybody else whatÂs right.
WouldnÂt it be better if we tried a decentralized approach
where everyone works closely with those around them,
instead of a few people waiting in anonymous mass?
Do you have to save the world all by yourself,
why donÂt you trust someone else to do it with you?

]]> ~rebeccaxx we are entirely smooth... http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28781559/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28781559/ Sun, 06 Dec 2009 07:43:59 PST "I can tell you thin who dwarf my pain
I cling to the genuinely broken and poor
and I cling to the Before
The spirit face behind the face
yearning for light; the water and the light
and I am flowing back to the Before, the infinite years
which transpired while I was not
here, and did not know I was not
hereÂ
I came just like you: from inconceivableness, the eternal
before-we-arrived, flowing
from GodÂs mouth, and come here to day
this world and
God, as if they needed names
And what lies beyond is no doubt the beginning
what lies beyond this loneliness and panic
I call dying, time, remorse, this cold
and purifying fire, which hurts so much, which burns
away the world and all I was
who walked and breathed and spoke
how real it all seemed for a few years, but I was always
immortal and will be again,
when I return to the infinite time which elapsed before I was conceived;
when the heavenward face is burned away
and its scared eyes and its tears
and its euphoria, which no one can imagine
(wrong: someone in love can imagine)
And I have heard GodÂs silence like the sun
now I long to return to it
no matter my infantile clinging
to this gorgeous material of such early wisteria and lilacs, the wind
in the redbud and luminous new heart-shaped leaves
music visible is completely unheard, IÂll return
The angelÂs going to raise his arms and sing that time is no more
and tears, that numbered sea of them is gone-
now there is a new sea, a new earth, a new sky-
and I will know what to say at the end: What end?
I can say I found this world sufficiently miraculous
For me, before IÂm changed."

]]> ~rebeccaxx spinning like a weathervane....... http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28753605/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28753605/ Fri, 04 Dec 2009 19:32:40 PST "If my steps turn from the path, or if my heart has been led by my eyes, or if my hands have been defiled, then may others reap what I have sown."

----------
No time to think about anything, no time to do anything. No time to second-guess, no second thoughts. Things are just happening. I have lost all control of the 'forces of my life', and I am no longer being guided in one direction. People are just people. Love is just a feeling. Everything is just something.

]]> ~rebeccaxx - http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28718234/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28718234/ Wed, 02 Dec 2009 20:07:42 PST So picture me smiling on top such tall buildings;
Such tragic endings for bad luck, bad timings.
I hope they let me slip.
I get so fed up with my own selfish self.
I keep bluffing away on shitty hands that I am dealt -
It's romantic, but it's cheap.

]]> ~rebeccaxx spent. http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28680743/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28680743/ Mon, 30 Nov 2009 20:42:25 PST Sleeping is so... 2008, and life is just plain weird.

]]> ~rebeccaxx o, porcupine http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28656873/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28656873/ Sun, 29 Nov 2009 17:28:23 PST but you can't yet appreciate harmony."

]]> ~rebeccaxx untitled http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28597181/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28597181/ Thu, 26 Nov 2009 18:55:28 PST You watch me like a ten car highway wreck with detached, vulgar curiosity. This looking down at the tops of the hats of us passers-by from your 7th floor balcony... from such a height you missed creatures too small for sight carry on covert conversation and the misguided insects crowned me their grasshopper king with a dance of celebration! After years with their crown on my head I've grown
overfed, unconcerned, and comfortably numb kept busy indulging in pleasures of the wealthy (someone make me afraid of what I've become!) At the first sign of possible sorrow I turned my heels and ran, oh, I'll never learn. My life's a cup of sugar I borrowed before time began and forgot to return. It was a matter of time - I always said I could see now I'm going blind, it was a matter of miserable time -- but I heard somewhere there was a cure for useless eyes?
__________________

Naivety is the new black.......
I am so annoyed..

]]> ~rebeccaxx ha... yeah, it got pretty bad. http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28537410/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28537410/ Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:14:07 PST For I believe these fields divide
The other world
We timeless horse employ, envoy
How do you know?
Where did you go?
Solar, I can't see anything
Collide with me
In the corners of your eyes
I'll stretch the sky in blue
And I'm thinking we knew no better
And I'm thinking

]]> ~rebeccaxx baby don't go away, come here http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28516132/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28516132/ Sun, 22 Nov 2009 18:37:20 PST and it only feels worse when I stay in one place
so I'm always pacing around or walking away
I keep drinking the ink from my pen
and I'm balancing history books up on my head
but it all boils down to one quotable phrase
"If you love something give it away"
A good woman will pick you apart
a box full of suggestions for your possible heart
But you may be offended, and you may be afraid
but don't walk away, don't walk away
We made love on the living room floor
with the noise in the background from a televised war
And in the deafening pleasure I thought I heard someone say
"If we walk away,theyÂll walk away"
But greed is a bottomless pit
And our freedom's a joke we're just taking a piss
And the whole world must watch the sad comic display
If you're still free start runnin' away
'cause we're comin' for ya
I've grown tired of holding this pose
I feel more like a stranger each time I come home
So I'm making a deal with the devils of fame
Sayin' let me walk away, please
You'll be free child once you have died
from the shackles of language and measurable time
And then we can trade places, play musical graves
till then walk away walk away walk away walk away
So I'm up at dawn, putting on my shoes
I just want to make a clean escape
I'm leaving but I don't know where to
I know I'm leaving but I don't know where to.

]]> ~rebeccaxx there was this woman and she was on an airplane... http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28514866/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28514866/ Sun, 22 Nov 2009 17:36:54 PST We must blend into the choir
Sing as static with the whole
We must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul
And in this endless race for property and privilege to be won
We must run, we must run, we must run
We must hang up in the belfry
Where the bats and moonlight laugh
We must stare into a crystal ball and only see the past
And in the caverns of tomorrow
With just our flashlights and our love
We must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge
And then weÂll get down there, way down to the very bottom of everything
And then weÂll see it, oh weÂll see it, weÂll see it, weÂll see it
Oh my morning's coming back
The whole worldÂs waking up
All the city buses swimming past
IÂm happy just because
I found out I am really no one
__________
I got a lot done today, there is still much to do though.

]]> ~rebeccaxx guess what? http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28497963/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28497963/ Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:51:11 PST You've been acting awful tough lately
Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately
But inside, you're just a little baby
It's okay to say you've got a weak spot
You don't always have to be on top
Better to be hated than love, love, loved for what you're not
You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable
You are not a robot
You're loveable, so loveable
But you're just troubled
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
____________

I just got back from Brand New.. I am in love but feeling awfully nostalgic
and tired, and sweaty.

[link]
^ This is very true.

]]> ~rebeccaxx overwhelmed http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28455861/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28455861/ Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:34:19 PST ^{If you let me have my way I swear I'll tear you apart.} ]]> ~rebeccaxx my heart is a headache part II http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28440249/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28440249/ Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:34:30 PST A compelling or constraining influence, such as a moral force on the mind or world, pressure. To be undecided or skeptical, to tend to disbelieve and distrust; to regard as unlikely, thatÂs doubt. The condition of being insufficient or falling short, decline in strength or effectiveness, failure. The instinct to run, to back away, or give up; to need, want, reach, steal. The feeling to always want more, and to take more. The loss of breath at the sight of a car accident, to drive by, never being able to feel satisfied, and to reject anyone who tries- and this is my life.

]]> ~rebeccaxx my heart is a headache http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28421317/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28421317/ Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:05:00 PST I'm taking that girl to the bank
I'm dancing all night
These knives by the way you abuse them
Are glowing like ice
I'm back and I love everyone
I color between all the lines
My stomach is red rosy cinnamon
And baked into pies
Badadadadbadadadbada

]]> ~rebeccaxx I hope they let you sleep http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28400587/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28400587/ Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:46:54 PST "I scream in my sleep, I moan and I yell
I long for a potion; I ache for a spell
to rid me of this terror, these endless nights of horror
I wish I remembered that night when I fell
You condemned the whole city, you plagued us to hell
I thought you were just joking
I swore "She must be joking"
How could I forget
You in sunsets
Your soft silhouette
The spell that you said
Big sunglasses
Vanilla milkshake
Cherry lipstick
The look that you gave
You summoned the ghosts
Well now you've got 'em
Your heart's cold revenge
For your head's little problems
I hope they let you sleep
So I can get some sleep
The spell books and candles
The potions in bottles
You spoke yourself ill
Despite what's in common
With your rational behavior
Sarcastic tone and nature"

]]> ~rebeccaxx don't call me by my full name. http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28383370/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28383370/ Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:34:20 PST hfjkdhfksdhfdsuivyaihpsk;lm.fdnhvjasoyc ijalknv,

]]> ~rebeccaxx I don't mean to close the door but.... http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28360795/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28360795/ Sat, 14 Nov 2009 19:06:54 PST I had my job interview today and was hired on the spot, which is awesome. I'm actually really content about this right now, I start training on Tuesday... and it seems like it's almost too good to be true (hopefully it isn't). I feel good. Life is good, for the most part.
Tonight, I watched Rudolph with Taylor... now I wish it was Christmas. I just uploaded 500 pictures off my memory card, so expect me to upload some new stuff tomorrow.

]]> ~rebeccaxx bad luck http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28334453/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28334453/ Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:42:25 PST Then I realized God doesnÂt work that way, so I stole
one and prayed for forgiveness."

]]> ~rebeccaxx it'll take more than bad luck just to kill me. http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28319493/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28319493/ Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:06:05 PST I am drowning in work... because I have been procrastinating..
but not actually procrastinating, just not completing things as quickly as I would like to.
I have been practically living at my school and spending 14 hour days there... the next two weeks are going to be d00m.
I'm not going to be online very much over the next week or so, but I will try to upload some new shots on Sunday if I'm not drowning in work. I have a job interview on Saturday... I'm hoping that this will work out because I am in dire need of money and I need to save for France. It's 9:05pm now, I'm going to sleep.

]]> ~rebeccaxx arrow http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28255870/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28255870/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:30:04 PST I'm going to be living at the school for the next four days so ..I will post ...new things later
but I can't help but say : things are really fucking weird right now.
Time to sleep.. I haven't done that in a while.

]]> ~rebeccaxx free journal skins? http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28242228/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28242228/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:52:32 PST

]]> ~rebeccaxx Devious Journal Entry http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28242139/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28242139/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:49:59 PST The skin's header goes here

]]> ~rebeccaxx all I see scares me http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28242054/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28242054/ Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:47:43 PST The skin's header goes here

-

]]> ~rebeccaxx thank you everybody for the birthday wishes http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28223099/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28223099/ Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:07:16 PST Let's have a drink, let's have a talk
Let's meet at your place at nine
So we do; we drink some wine
and we talk about old times
Then she cries, says she's sorry
I tell her that it is fine
I move in close, I hold her tight
I tell her to relax or
If
she
moves
I'll
break
her
neck
This is for
Everything
Anytime
Anything
Breaking me
Leaving me
Stealing keys
comes to an end.

]]> ~rebeccaxx off, off, off with your head http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28208199/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28208199/ Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:42:57 PST
]]> ~rebeccaxx I hate where I live. http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28188595/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28188595/ Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:22:24 PST Me, disrespectful? Disrespectful is you, throwing up my name with any and every chance you get. Stop talking shit, I thought you were my 'friends'? Maybe if you fucking heard my side of the story instead of judging me based on somebody else's, just MAYBE you would take my fucking name out of your mouth. This has escalated too fucking far, and I have lost so much fucking respect for all of you. Your naivety is repulsive, and the fact that you don't go out of your own fucking way to hear my side of the story makes me want to personally punch both of you in the face. You don't fucking control my life, stop trying to guide my decisions and tell me that I'm wrong. I have a fucking brain, I have a fucking soul attached to my body; I am human, I am not your machine, I am not you. I can make my own decisions and I don't need you to fucking judge me for them. As for me, 'getting my nose into other peoples business and fucking people over', get your fucking facts straight. I'm enraged. I hope you all fucking choke on your words. As for you, the maker of this; what the fuck are you trying to prove?
thanks for being bffs of the year guys!L>!?

]]> ~rebeccaxx tamas soma chortir gamaya http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28155043/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28155043/ Thu, 05 Nov 2009 05:00:38 PST It's cold outside
Just like fate
It's cold right here
Where is your heart
Someone get me out of here
Alive

Take my hand
Trust this smile
It's just one smile
I'm getting caught in softer parts of you
It's killing me too
It's killing me too

It's cold outside
Just like steel
It's cold right here
Just like blades

Someone get me out of here
Alive

Take my eyes
And cauterize my heart
Because it's killing nothing
It's killing nothing
I'm getting caught in the same soft parts
Of you

Watered down and feel the cool
Winter creep up your spine
These are mine, these are mine, and these are mine
This mouth bleeds

]]> ~rebeccaxx hardcore superstar http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28147445/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28147445/ Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:08:39 PST before the yearning song of flesh on flesh,
young hearts burst open wounds bleed fresh.
a young brother skinny and tall my older walks
oceanward and somber, slumber sleeping
flowers in the water, but i'm just his daughter.
walking down an icy grave leading to my
schizophrenic father, weeping willow won't you wallow louder
searching for my father's power
I'm a shake you off though
get up on that horse and
ride into the sunset;
look back with no remorse.

PS: 7,500 views... 500 in just over two weeks? You guys are awesome.

pps:.......that's disgusting.

]]> ~rebeccaxx luca http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28131624/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28131624/ Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:39:43 PST We could leave it alone, I'm sure there's someone who knows, where you've been.
You never worked well with our group; not with the faults we found
So we fixed you with cement galoshes, no one can save you now
Unless you have friends among fish there'll still be no air to breathe
You could drink up the entire ocean, I'll still find someone to be everything we know that you'll never be

]]> ~rebeccaxx Devious Journal Entry http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28120702/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28120702/ Tue, 03 Nov 2009 07:54:28 PST
]]> ~rebeccaxx i think in decimals and dollars http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28109422/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28109422/ Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:45:50 PST Today I made my down-payment on a trip to France in May. I'm stoked; but there goes money that I don't have. Oh well, I don't care anymore.

]]> ~rebeccaxx seven loves you so much http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28084728/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28084728/ Sun, 01 Nov 2009 10:53:03 PST but do me a favor baby, don't reply
'cause I can dish it out, but I can't take it.

(it's november... the worst month of the year)

]]> ~rebeccaxx h1n1 http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28034644/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/28034644/ Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:19:25 PDT but then I will buy this to make myself not angry
[link]

]]> ~rebeccaxx What could I have done but let you down? http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27989657/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27989657/ Tue, 27 Oct 2009 05:09:48 PDT I feel extremely zen.. and nice.

]]> ~rebeccaxx imma shake you off http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27984201/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27984201/ Mon, 26 Oct 2009 18:49:49 PDT
]]> ~rebeccaxx ha...ha....ha.....ha http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27961069/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27961069/ Sun, 25 Oct 2009 14:00:04 PDT I hope you enjoy living in my shadow.

]]> ~rebeccaxx i woke up near the sea http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27926788/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27926788/ Fri, 23 Oct 2009 16:45:48 PDT my motivation to take/post new pictures has been overridden by my lazy-i-haven't-slept-in-three-days-and-i'm-really-cold-right-now...ness.
expect new pictures tomorrow?

ii.
edit* the uploader keeps failing on me.

]]> ~rebeccaxx - http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27867730/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27867730/ Tue, 20 Oct 2009 07:52:42 PDT but anger, and her skin makes them sick in the night (nauseous, nauseous, nauseous)

]]> ~rebeccaxx my misery is so addictive http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27853222/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27853222/ Mon, 19 Oct 2009 12:41:12 PDT
]]> ~rebeccaxx my head is spinning tonight http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27823768/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27823768/ Sat, 17 Oct 2009 20:23:00 PDT ÂThe greatest mystery the universe offers is not life but size. Size encompasses life, and the Tower encompasses size. The child, who is most at home with wonder, says: Daddy, what is above the sky? And the father says: The darkness of space. The child: What is beyond space? The father: The galaxy. The child: Beyond the galaxy? The father: Another galaxy. The child: Beyond the other galaxies? The father: No one knows. You see? Size defeats us. For the fish, the lake in which he lives is the universe. What does the fish think when he is jerked up by the mouth through the silver limits of existence and into a new universe where the air drowns him and the light is blue madness? Where huge bipeds with no gills stuff it into a suffocating box abd cover it with wet weeds to die?"

(the people that I watch have all been deleted, I hope I can find all of you again.)

]]> ~rebeccaxx thank you for the 7000 views. http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27819262/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27819262/ Sat, 17 Oct 2009 15:52:21 PDT I'll never have to buy adjacent plots of earth.
We'll never have to rot together underneath dirt.
I'll never have to lose my baby in the crowd;
I should be laughing right now.

]]> ~rebeccaxx Devious Journal Entry http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27751119/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27751119/ Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:45:27 PDT
]]> ~rebeccaxx part my ribs like the sea. http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27714201/ http://rebeccaxx.deviantart.com/journal/27714201/ Sun, 11 Oct 2009 19:27:42 PDT and make stone beat, then there's no hope for me
unless the east never meets the west
unless you set my sin between your shoulderblades
and forget
part my ribs like the sea and change me
'cause stone doesn't beat
and rock hearts don't pump anything
but i've grown not to mind because at least
stone doesn't sling like blood
or spill like guts across the floor
where the bloodsuckers want more and more and more

]]> ~rebeccaxx