http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:rebeldork&section=today deviantART RSS for by:rebeldork en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 09 Dec 2009 09:00:16 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/27731953/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/27731953/ Mon, 12 Oct 2009 17:55:57 PDT
I'm going through a lot of problems in my life right now, but they're the kind that sound silly in print but nevertheless are affecting me. If you care to talk, message me and I'll send you my email address. If you have some other way of contacting, go ahead and message me. I want to talk to you. I want to talk to people. I need to, and I know that.

So, goodbye. I'll continue writing and making art, but I'll find some outlet to share it. I probably will be on occasionally, but for sure a lot less often. Thanks to everyone who's supported me on here.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/27327415/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/27327415/ Sun, 20 Sep 2009 19:20:07 PDT
They're mostly simple, and none are writing related, that I can recall - they're just things like Wear a red dress (I apparently had never done this) and Fall in love.

Oh, the joy of cleaning my room. Discovering old stuff randomly.

And, speaking of writing from March, old journal! It's an interesting thing. March was a really tough month for me, especially the beginning, for various reasons I won't detail. February was the one-acts and so that was intense but fun, and April was relaxing and fun for a variety of reasons; March was the in-between.

From March 8, 2009:
But by the time spring break starts (Friday) I will start a novel, whether it is a brilliant sparkling new idea or one I have to dredge up out of the nothingness of my imagination. Normally, my imagination is something I’m proud of. You know those questionnaires you fill out about yourself on MySpace sometimes? Shoe size, have you ever been in love? I would put something like “my eyes” for my best feature, but really, I always thought my best feature was my imagination. Now, though, it feels like slush. I’ve thought too much, written too much. It’s all used up, stretched out like gum that’s over chewed. That’s a pretty pathetic thought, but right now it’s true. Heck, I feel like that poor piece of gum, all gross, can’t even keep hold of myself.

March 8 was also the day I started the 100 things list. Not a coincidence, really. Oh, and I never did start that novel, although I started on several weeks later (Quartet).

I wish I could give past-me a hug!

I guess the point of this is that I feel like that journal entry now. Lately I've been really bad, emotionally. I don't typically talk about my emotions in dA journals - anymore - but I can't help it. This week, this month, I've been a wreck. I don't know what I need but I need something. I don't understand it. I feel sane but I cry all the time. One day I'll cry if I have to stay home alone all day, and the next I'll cry if I can't. I'm alternately loving and hating people. It's disturbing, and I don't like it! Today was a "hating" day, and I didn't leave the house for that. And I haven't written anything in a really long time. I'm planning NaNo, but I don't know how that will work, even. I'm freaked out

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/26997233/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/26997233/ Thu, 03 Sep 2009 13:56:28 PDT
It's not possible.
I know this.

Oh well.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/26825336/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/26825336/ Tue, 25 Aug 2009 20:37:52 PDT They're all on my family's desktop computer. It's broken.
...Yeah, whatever.

I'm drifting again. I feel lost.

I want to be who I used to be. I'm changing. Not good or bad but different. I can't stop it.
I want to stop it.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/26658702/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/26658702/ Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:13:14 PDT
Real name: Cecilia
Nickname: Ceci
DeviantArt name: ~rebeldork
Gender: Female


FAVORITES.

Color: sky blue/orange
Food: chocolate!
Drinks: I dunno, lots.
Reading at the moment (1 only): How to Read Literature Like a Professor (for school)
Song at the moment (1 only): "Islander" by Nightwish
TV Program (1 only): Firefly
TV Channel (1 only): NBC
Book: The Hero and the Crown
Ice cream flavor: Cake batter!

VERSUS.

Sweet or spicy?:
Sweet

White chocolate or dark chocolate?:
Dark. Or milk. Either's fine.
(Although I recently had some Estonian white chocolate that I really liked...)

School or mall?:
Mall. Why is this even a question?

Desktop computer or laptop?:
Laptop

Ice cream or cake?:
Depends on what kind. Ice cream usually.

Anime or cartoons?:
Cartoons! Although I supposed a lot of the cartoons I watched as a child (Pokemon, Digimon) were actually anime, but I didn't know the term. Hn.

RnB or Pop?:
Pop, I suppose.

DEVIANART

What is your most favorited deviation in your gallery?
"Josephine" [link] with 17

Who is your first watcher?
~Jen042184

How many watchers do you have right now?
72

How many deviations do you have?
208

At the moment, how many are your page views?
9,943 (almost 10k! More on this below)

Who of your watchers do you talk to the most?
~Frayu-Typo or ~vikingjon

Are you a subscriber?
No, and not likely to be.

When did you start using DeviantArt?
June 2007

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

I'm almost at 10,000 views!
If you catch it, you can request something.

Almost anything.

And it shall be made into art!

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/26557042/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/26557042/ Wed, 12 Aug 2009 20:42:23 PDT But I'm writing again!

I'm sure these things are directly related. Boredom does that.

I was going to do this story for AugNo, but I got lazy (and busy) and so put it off. It's got a good 2000 words of outline, though, and a main character I really like. I planned out a lot of the plot stuff with my good friend Curt (if you know him you will find humor in that; but, trust me, he is ridiculously good at coming up with ideas for novels) but the character stuff's all mine. About 2.2k of it done so far, all done in about the last hour and a half.

It makes me happy.

Oh, and my fingernails are this amazing shade of turquoise. In a childish, girly way, that makes me similarly happy.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/26463218/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/26463218/ Sat, 08 Aug 2009 11:35:11 PDT
I reread "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock".

[link]

The narrator's insecurity creates his hell while he still lives because he is too scared of others' opinions to truly act as he wishes.

Now I'm wondering if this is me.

I'm at that kind of place in my life, to wonder that.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/26199119/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/26199119/ Sun, 26 Jul 2009 20:49:44 PDT
I have a new blog now: [link] . It's really nothing yet, but I hope that someone will join me there. You can read more about what I'm trying to do.

I would ask anyone who likes poetry at all to come and take a look. I don't want to be elitist, and really, the more the merrier.

Thanks!

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/25990007/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/25990007/ Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:44:11 PDT
~Frayu-Typo did this, so I'm taking it from her, as I often do with these things.

[TEN things you want to say to TEN different people].
1. I acted like a coward around you and your family, and I wish I could undo that; but somehow I know I'm never going to see you again.

2. I wish we were as close as we once were - I haven't found one to replace you.

3. Yes, you do scare me, and I should not have been so forgiving.

4. I've never met you, never talked to you, and I don't know your reasoning, but I think I forgave you a long time ago, if you even want to be forgiven.

5. Am I really that much worse than you?

6. I'm sorry for pushing you toward him if you don't want to be pushed; you're such a good friend of mine, I would never want to hurt you.

7. I love when we talk, and it makes me so happy you can open up to me as you do. I'm sorry if our conversations are banal sometimes.

8. You are freaking awesome. I don't care if hardly anyone else sees it - you don't even see it. But you're so cool!

9. When I talk about you like I do, I mean it with all love possible. You are one of my best friends, and when I say those things it means I'm comfortable with you.

10. You mean much more to me than any other person, more than I thought any person could mean to me, so: thank you.

[NINE things about yourself].
1. The yellow ring within my eyes is hereditary - I got it from my paternal grandmother.
2. My hair is almost entirely its natural color now, which is rare.
3. I wish I had freckles.
4. My mental health is almost always correlating directly to how much art I'm making.
5. I learned to whistle when I was 3.
6. My lucky numbers are 6 and 17.
7. My boyfriend and I are born on the same day (January 17) one year apart.
8. I wrote my first novel when I was 13.
9. I am a coward.
10. I irrationally fear bees.

[EIGHT ways to win your heart].
1. Show an interest in my art.
2. Be kind, gentlemanly even. That whole thing about chivalry, etc. etc.
3. Like me for me.
4. Let me get involved in things you like doing.
5. Try to get involved in my hobbies, too.
6. Flowers!
7. Food!
8. Beautiful scenery! [My mind died, so these last three are not entirely serious.]

[SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot].
1. food.
2. characters
3. things I can set up as photographs (and this is really random; I'll just think, "That's so pretty! Wish I had my camera!" completely out of the blue.)
4. my friends/boyfriend
5. memories from my childhood
6. synesthesia
7. poetry (I quote it a lot)

[SIX things you couldn't live without].
(I'm thinking, besides the necessities)
1. Good food
2. Beautiful scenery
3. Quiet
4. Being around people I love
5. Familiar things
6. Physical comfort

[FIVE turn offs].
1. People who gossip
2. Rudeness
3. Bad hygiene
4. Anger problems
5. Conceit

[FOUR turn ons].
1. Like I said, that whole chivalry thing. It shows someone's paying attention to me, and it's highly underrated.
2. People meeting my eyes. I don't really realize how nice it is until someone stops meeting my eyes; that bothers me so much.
3. Someone showing genuine interest in me.
4. When I learn more about someone - what makes them tick - and I really get to know them. I like that.


[THREE smileys that describe your life].
1.
2.
3.

[TWO things you want to do before you die].
1. Write a novel I am proud of enough to show others.
2. Have a child.

[ONE confession].
1. I am more scared of death than I realize, I think... sometimes I wonder what I would do to escape it. When it comes down to it, I really am cowardly. And that saddens me.
<... ]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/25792522/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/25792522/ Tue, 07 Jul 2009 09:37:20 PDT

On July 13th (Monday), I'm leaving on another vacation, this one much longer. My family's doing the "Circle Tour" (I have learned it's called such) around Lake Superior, and I won't be back until almost the end of July, the 28th or so. I expect to be taking a lot of pictures when I'm there, and I might also be on the computer a little - I know that one of the places we're staying at has wi-fi (although no cell phone service to speak of, oddly enough).

So, while I know I haven't been taking as many pictures as I should - I did start this account for photography, after all - that should hopefully change soon. I'll see you all again on the 28th, if not sooner!

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/25324517/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/25324517/ Mon, 15 Jun 2009 08:41:52 PDT
I'm not doing anything special for my two-year, but I would like to show a few of my "firsts" on this site, because back then a lot of my current dA friends didn't know me.


The person who got me into this site: ~Frayu-Typo
My real-life best friend and partner in crime and art, she encouraged me to start an account here to post my photography.

My first deviation: [link] "Lake Superior Sunset"

My first watcher: ~Jen042184
It made me happy that even just a couple hours after I joined, people would be encouraging me and helping me out so much with my art. She was the best for this, and I appreciate her help so much. She's also an amazing photographer.

My first non-photography deviation: [link] "The Colors in the Music"
A sestina, by far not my best work (not even my best work at the time, I write in the description) about losing my synesthesia as I grew older.

My first silhouette portrait: [link] "Inner Colors"
The character, named Shadik, wasn't one of my more memorable or fun to write; I'd just drawn a good silhouette and I didn't want to ruin it with my unrealistic sketching. Look what it started.

My most favorited deviation: [link] "Josephine"
I don't know why, but hey, that's still cool.

My favorite deviation of mine: [link] "Sparkle"
It's the background on my laptop, actually, and this picture just makes me happy.

So, everyone: Thanks for the 8,813 views on me and 11,351 on my deviations (those numbers blow my mind), and for all the comments and watches and favorites and everything.

IT IS SO COOL

I am not that popular but this is more than enough!

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/24966675/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/24966675/ Tue, 26 May 2009 18:05:03 PDT Feeling poetic? Put your mp3 player (or iPod) on shuffle and write down the first line of the first 21 songs that play to form a "poem". No skipping songs! (unless they happen to not have lyrics) Don't cheat! It can say a lot about you based on the music you like!

I've never been in love before
Love, I'm aching to believe
When marimba rhythms start to play
In a way, need a change from this burned-out scene
What language do you speak...?

Candy talks to strangers
Take me back, Josephine
The emotion, it was electic
Broken sticks and broken stones
Circling your head
You are far...
Soon as my eyes shut, the light show begins...

You know how us Catholic girls can be
In the party
Console me in my darkest hour
Baby's born on the bathroom floor
Tell me, what's the use

I remember hearts that beat
Driving away from the wreck of the day
I'm like the rain in a downpour

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/24923242/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/24923242/ Sun, 24 May 2009 11:38:17 PDT
And, also, I was talking to someone I know personally (but who doesn't have a deviantArt account) and I showed him several of my pictures on here, and he said something about a commission. A commission? The fact that anyone would even pay anything for artwork of mine is just phenomenal. I know I'm not at that point yet, so I told him I wouldn't do a commission - but I'll do a request.

It's open to anyone. Just note me with a description (the more detailed the better), a name, a bit about their personality, and how you want me to draw it (silhouette portrait, pen, colored pencil, whatever), and I'll do my best. It might take a while - the school year is coming to a close, and there are finals and speeches to worry about - but even if I don't get through the list I'll try to do at least some. Also, if you have a reference you want me to draw from, send that with.

Thanks!

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/24823826/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/24823826/ Mon, 18 May 2009 14:31:10 PDT
This might seem really random, but the music is, at this point, one of the main reasons why I'm staying in band next year. (It's certainly not the teacher, and my closest friend in band, Ben, whom I share music with, is graduating.)

We have 3 songs we're playing right now, "Rhythm Danse" (no, I don't know why it's spelled like that), "City Rain," and "Plymouth Trilogy" (which has three movements).

For some reason, the colors are vivid on these songs - I don't know if it's the act of looking at the music and playing (because notes and keys have colors for me, in addition to timbres of instruments) that makes it so powerful. But on these songs I feel closer to my old synesthesia than any other songs.

Rhythm Danse has the most diversity of color - the entire thing is very interesting because it doesn't really change keys but the different sections have very different feelings and patterns and colors. It has an almost wild feeling, and for some reason the beginning and the end are this soft reddish-purple, and then the middle turns yellow, and later the low brass (I play euphonium, if anyone doesn't know), we have this amazing blue riff that we play for a million measures. It's lots of fun. The ending goes all drum-happy and wild again. The piece is in 5/4, which is a pretty unfamiliar time signature for me, and it gives it a different feeling. [link] - there's a video of the song, but please note that this is NOT my band playing it, and I don't know the band in the video.

City Rain is a very weird song, and also our newest. It's blue, which I guess is sort of expected, but the beginning (the woodwind part - we don't play, we clap) is light, airy blue, and later it's dark, and towards the end our entire part turns a bright green. That's my favorite part of the song, because, well, it's the only time the euphoniums have a clear melody, and I like having the melody/countermelody. (Couldn't find it online.)

Plymouth Trilogy (the title is a mystery) is my favorite, because of the second movement. The first movement is fast and in 2/4, and it's entirely light green except for this little bit at the end that's gold/yellow. The third movement is weird, sort of ragtime-ish, and very red with some big white spaces in there. But the second is dark green, with this glittering gold trumpet part at the beginning and some yellow notes towards the end. The last chord is haunting and lovely and really just this vivid forest-green.

I wish that everyone saw the colors. They would all be in band, too.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/24132968/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/24132968/ Wed, 08 Apr 2009 16:26:31 PDT
Total it took a little more than an hour, with probably 45 minutes of that being straight questions, but ugh, was it ever difficult. I kept my composure the entire time, until he asked, "How did you feel when you had the gun pointed at you?" and then I just lost it. I started crying like mad and I couldn't stop or control it at all. And essentially I've had tears behind my eyes ever since - even the slightest thing, like writing this now, makes me wonder if I'm going to start crying again. I'm close.

The trial is on Tuesday. Hopefully, I won't screw up - hopefully things will be better once that's over with. I don't know.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/24027437/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/24027437/ Thu, 02 Apr 2009 16:57:05 PDT felt like spring, and I like that.

So I was planning on doing ScriptFrenzy this month. I had a plot planned and everything! The only problem was, the more I looked at my idea, the less it seemed like a script to me. This one wanted to be a novel. So I'm writing it that way - 3500 words last night, and I'm off to write soon now. As for plot, let's just say it's really cliche and involves a vampire, but it's cliche more in the vein (no pun intended...) of Dracula, rather than Twilight. And the vampire (there's only one at this point) is female.

-=-=-

I have to ask: Why do I keep writing lesbians??
I am myself straight. I have several not-straight people as my close friends, but I don't think that influences me so greatly. But since January 2008, I have written virtually no long story that doesn't have lesbians in it. (Unnecessary Wings was the one exception, but I actually didn't write much of it.) Why do I do this? I don't understand!

It's not a bad thing. It's just what's coming easily to me at the time. I suppose this is akin to my phase back in 2005-6 of having characters get limbs amputated, but that didn't last nearly as long and really didn't affect the writing like this. It's just kind of strange that, being straight, all of my characters go the other way. Anyone have an answer for this?

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/23708257/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/23708257/ Sun, 15 Mar 2009 09:10:22 PDT
No. Didn't happen. I had no ideas.

Yesterday I started working on a silhouette portrait, but I had an amazingly novel-like dream last night. A lot of things were different - and I mean a lot - but essentially I was Terae.

So I'm going to examine that story more closely and see if I maybe want to write it. The thing I dreamed would make a very interesting novel. I'm just not sure it's at all like the one I already wrote about her. That's okay; I'll work through.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/23615858/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/23615858/ Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:49:58 PDT
And I have a feeling one of them will get a lot more comments than the rest. Any questions, I'll explain.

I only changed little details like streets and cities... nothing else. Some of these (93, 81) I've done before and want to do again. Some I've never done. And yes, a lot of them do revolve around writing, I know.

I'm going to print the list off and cross them off when I complete them. Maybe I'll update it on here when I do, too.


1. Write a million words.
2. Fall in love.
3. Write a second draft of a book - and, if it’s not good enough, keep writing drafts, and stick with it.
4. Submit something to a publisher.
5. Get a rejection letter or two or three.
6. Have something published.
7. Get a manicure or pedicure.
8. Learn guitar.
9. Learn another song on the piano.
10. Write a full-length play or movie.
11. Take something full-length I’ve written and have it performed or recorded.
12. Be able to run a mile in under 10 minutes again, and then stay in shape.
13. Become decent at a language besides English and German.
14. Go back to Europe.
15. Choose a college.
16. Get a degree.
17. Marry.
18. Have a child or children. If this is not possible, then adopt or foster.
19. Submit a secret to PostSecret.
20. Get a pet bird.
21. Start volunteering again.
22. Write letters to my closest friends telling them exactly how much they mean to me, and then send them.
23. Swim in the ocean.
24. Learn how to properly French braid.
25. Reread my favorite books from my childhood.
26. Write a song.
27. Write a novel in a different genre than fantasy.
28. Write a letter to an artist I admire telling them what they mean to me.
29. Write a novel I like well enough to let my family read.
30. Get a tattoo.
31. Audition for something that’s not school related.
32. Go to a bar or nightclub.
33. Sell a piece of visual art.
34. Paint a room.
35. Sew an outfit or costume myself, with minimal help, then wear it (or have it worn).
36. Build a tree house.
37. Go to a continent besides Europe or North America.
38. Grow my hair long enough to braid.
39. Cut my hair shorter than it’s ever been before.
40. Find the town in Sweden, Germany, etc. from which my ancestors came.
41. Live by myself.
42. Get a vegetable garden or fruit trees.
43. Go camping.
44. Visit the east and west coasts of the U.S.
45. Volunteer for a political campaign.
46. Drive to that pretty hill I always look at and take pictures of it.
47. Sit someplace with a camera, doing nothing but observing and taking pictures as the day progresses.
48. Create a self-portrait I am satisfied with.
49. Meet someone face to face that I have only talked to online.
50. Keep a diary, at least for a little while.
51. Ride a horse bareback.
52. Get a puppy or kitten.
53. Go skydiving, bungee jumping, or hang gliding.
54. Go surfing, scuba diving, or water-skiing.
55. Go hiking or rock climbing in the mountains.
56. Find and keep a large shell from the seashore.
57. Know what it feels like to be thin again, even if it’s only for a little while.
58. Find another person with synesthesia and meet face to face.
59. Learn how to tango.
60. Dye my hair a color it’s never been.
61. Catch a firefly.
62. Write a book that’s nonfiction (possibly autobiographical).
63. Tell the first person I fall in love with my feelings, even if I’m scared.
64. Learn how to knit.
65. Play another game of Pokemon cards.
66. Play a full game of Risk or Monopoly.
67. See a dolphin, whale, or shark in the wild.
68. Confront someone who’s hurt me and tell them exactly how.
69. Try on a suit and tie, just to see what I look like in it.
70. Wear a ballroom dress to some occasion and go completely all out in preparing.
71. Buy another typewriter or other old, lovely, useless item.
72. Attend a performance of Elisabeth or another musical I really, really love.
73. Write a letter to an elected official.
74. Hold a “funeral” before I’m dead so those I’ve known can say things they want to before I’m gone.
75. Write a letter to a columnist - any kind (advice, political, informative, etc.)
76. Look at the heavens through a powerful telescope.
77. Fall asleep on the beach.
78. Write a m... ]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/23467695/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/23467695/ Sun, 01 Mar 2009 10:35:20 PST
There's a lot of stuff happening in my life right now relating to one person, and I'm not going to get into it now but if you're reading this I just want to say it's not you because he doesn't go on deviantart so I know he won't read this. So don't worry, none of you are the one I'm angry at, heh. Anyways, yeah, there's a guy who keeps pissing me off by one minute telling me how much I mean to him, and the next telling me he doesn't want to talk to me on the phone or anything like that. I hate it, it's hurting me, and I'm trying to get away from that. A few of my friends have been helping out, and thanks for that. If you want to talk to me about this, I'll definitely talk about it - I want to talk about it. (He denies his behavior towards me is changing at all... So it's not like I can talk to him about it; he accuses me of blowing everything out of proportion.)

Anyways.

I logged on yesterday and saw I had 30 messages! That doesn't happen all the time! What's more, twenty-one of them were activity messages: one watch and twenty favorites. Crazy cool! So I'd like to give a big thanks to ~13-15-15-14-10-1 for watching me and for a whole bunch of favorites/collectings. :] And thanks to everyone else who has added a picture of mine to their faves or collections, or who's chosen to watch me, ever. I really appreciate it!! I do, even if I can't give thanks in a more personal manner.



]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/23437718/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/23437718/ Fri, 27 Feb 2009 17:30:46 PST What you'd like to do
Be a published novelist

What's stopping you
The fact that a) I haven't ever finished editing a novel, b) my stories aren't good enough to publish, and c) I don't know if I have the dedication to work at it.

Who will judge you
If I fail or succeed? If I fail, no one really will, but if I succeed, everyone who reads my books will (hopefully not entirely unfavorably!)

Why will they judge you?
They will have read my books and of course they'll have opinions.

Why you want to do it
It's one of the only things in life I'm sure about. I love doing it. I know that if I work hard enough I can do it. I love writing novels more than anything else in the world.

If you want to do this (feel free):

< b>What you'd like to do < /b>
< b>What's stopping you < /b>
< b>Who will judge you < /b>
< b>Why will they judge you? < /b>
< b>Why you want to do it < /b>

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/23192769/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/23192769/ Sat, 14 Feb 2009 10:12:26 PST
I'm almost at 7000. I doubt anyone will catch it. If someone does, cool. If not, that's alright too.

I hate this time of year. There's not enough snow for anything, but it's still cold and slushy and just generally gross. I don't like taking pictures of anything this time of year, not until all the snow is gone and the leaves are growing once more. I just want to escape, to go to somewhere warm and beautiful...

So yeah. My week was incredibly long. And tonight I've actually got plans (surprising, I know), but I don't know how it'll go... It's a sort of double date with a guy I'm not all that close to, and our mutual friends who've been dating for about nine months (and aren't shy about it). But I did get chocolate today (from my dad) so that made me happy.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/23004592/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/23004592/ Wed, 04 Feb 2009 14:58:01 PST
I wear BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm JAMICAN so I must smoke weed.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a stuck up whore.

I wear skirts a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big peter.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I HAVE BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I’m CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate gay people.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I watch PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be an obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blonde blue-eyed lesbian.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I don’t CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I'm SWEDISH, so I MUST be WHITE.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I’m RUSSIAN, so I MUST love Vodka and Caviar.

~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22718610/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22718610/ Wed, 21 Jan 2009 17:11:54 PST
...Or laugh or cry or think or become suddenly reassured in humanity. I need it today. I'm messed up. I feel tired and strange and "ahhhhh!!" and all over NOT pleasant. I'm not in that bad of a mood, really (yeah, figure THAT one out!) but it's like I'm in a rut again.

Soon I will be writing. I am going to rewrite The Princess and the Swan, or at least parts of it, from the point of view of another character (Tatif); and I will plan like mad and it will be good.

If anyone wants to read parts of it when I am done, I am open to that. Actually I'm wanting it. If you want a summary, go ahead and ask!

Plus:
Poem of the week.

Everyone needs more poetry in their lives; I am just getting you started.

The first stanza of my favorite Poe poem ("The City in the Sea"):

Lo! Death has reared himself a throne
In a strange city lying alone
Far down within the dim West,
Where the good and the bad and the worst and the best
Have gone to their eternal rest.
There shrines and palaces and towers
(Time-eaten towers that tremble not!)
Resemble nothing that is ours.
Around, by lifting winds forgot,
Resignedly beneath the sky
The melancholy waters lie.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22628332/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22628332/ Sat, 17 Jan 2009 07:22:23 PST
I don't feel different, but it really got me thinking. One more year of high school after this one - not much longer till I have to start making decisions about colleges - and a lot of responsibilities, too.

But 17 is an age I've always wanted to be. :] I hope it's as good as it already feels!

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22478392/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22478392/ Thu, 08 Jan 2009 20:41:52 PST
1. What is more difficult: looking into someones eyes when telling how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they tell you how they feel?
I always look into people's eyes when they speak, and almost always when I do. It's just a habit. So I guess they're both equal.

2. Think of the last time you were angry. Why were you angry?
A lot of things make me sort of angry. For instance, I was angry at myself today for guilting someone into doing something. I was angry at my band director for messing things up. I'm angry in bits and pieces, rarely all at once.

3. You will die in three minutes. Last call?
LOTS of little ones. Elyssa. My mom and dad and Eva. Actually, I think that's it. I'd just say, "I love you... Please don't forget me." And say how much they all mean to me. This is depressing.

4. If you could do anything OR wish anything, what would it be?
I would wish for wings with which I could fly.

5. You can have one of the following two things: trust or love.
Love... love is something I want to experience more. And love isn't light or transient, either. Trust can be earned, but sometimes love cannot be.

6. You are walking to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss told you if you are late one more time youre fired. Do you save the dog?
Of course!

7. Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
Sometimes, I think, the ends justify the means... I hope I never have to, though. (I would blackmail someone... to do GOOD! )

8. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do you do it?
No... unless it was Percy Shelley. Then I might, just to meet him. (Or Freddy Mercury... to give one last concert. That'd rock.) But I never met those people, so it doesn't count...

9. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
We'd clash and constantly fight and be offended by each other.

10. Does sex=love?
No, but they are (or should be) closely related.

11. Are you old fashioned?
I am a mix of crazy newfangled ideas and old beliefs. It's weird.

12. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex?
No, I wouldn't... marriage for me would be, on some level, about raising children... I guess it depends wholly on circumstances, and I can't really speak when I've never been in love, but if I couldn't have a child I wouldn't marry that person.

13. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?
I honestly don't know. Both are difficult.

14. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up?
My memories. Memories are all we've worked for in this life... to give them up would be to revert your mind back to the day you were born, but your body would be aged... it'd be hell.

15. Romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?
I never have.

16. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you have "no regrets" what would you change?
I would've gone straight from trumpet to euphonium!

17. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window.
A SAMURAI.

18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?
Yes, or I'd scream till I found someone who could! (Or call an ambulance... that works too.) But I am certified! So I could.

19. You are holding onto your grandmother's dying hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other which one would it be?
Er... I don't know. That's an awful choice to have to make.

20. When and how was the last time you told someone how you REALLY feel?
After a really emotional conversation I called Elyssa up and told her how glad I was we were friends. I think it's good sometimes to just pull people aside and say how much they mean; it makes them feel really appreciated. :]

If you had three months to live:

21. Do you tell anyone or everyone you are going to die?
Everyone. I'd want people to be honest with me, or at least treat me with respect. (I am not above using that to g... ]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22400464/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22400464/ Sun, 04 Jan 2009 17:57:24 PST Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answers to the following questions.
Post the first definition it gives you.
Tag 3 people.


1.) Your name?
Cecilia
.A mysterious Heartbearker. An unknown person u see that you think is hot.

2.a Traviesa. A naughty girl.
1.That Cecilia Over there? u see heR? who is she?

2.I am totally lusting for that Cecilia.

a frickin amazing kid.
who usually wears nerdy clothes and is still loved by all.
and no matter what you always have fun with a cecilia
the cecilia is one cool cat!
cecilia=spiffy.

you know.
all that jazz.
I like the second definition more

2.) Your age?
16
(n.) in rap, one verse or "sixteen" lines
Drop that 16 for us.

or

He had the hottest sixteen on Track 2.
...chosen because the others were not appropriate to post...

3.) One of your friends?
Elyssa
A gorgeous girl. Who has great style and a beautiful sister that everyone loves.
Her sister is myspace famous, and she is trying to be.


Elyssa: Ilove you
Random person: Ilove you <3
Wow, Elyssa, I so didn't know that...

4.) What should you be doing?
nothing
Actually means "something," but is used when you don't feel like explaining.
Hey, whatcha doin'?

(clearly working on something complex and important) Nothing.

5.) Favorite color?
orange
Noun:
1. A bold color, a cross between yellow and red.
2. A spherical citrus fruit of this color.

Adjective:
1. of or relating to the color orange
2. of or relating to the flavor of the orange fruit.

Random:
1. A word you'll never see at the end of a line of a rhyming poem.
2. Punchline of a grade school knock-knock joke.

The plural form is "oranges," which is also a sweet poem about a first date by the author Gary Soto.
Orange soda doesn't taste like oranges, but at least it's the right color.

...Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

6.) Birthplace?
Minnesota
Minnesota: an upper MidWest state, populated by Nordic descendants (hence the Vikings NFL team) and Native Americans. Located on the edge of the flat and seemingly endless praire, the state gets blast-chilled by polar winds for most of the year. The bulk of the people live in the Twin Cities (hence the MN Twins MLB team) and the surrounding cookie-cutter sprawl, while the rest of the state is scattered with God-forsaken iron mining towns (up north) or small, Lutheranesque farming communities that produce wheat and soybeans, which later get moved around by unsightly, rectangular barges down the Mississippi river or shipped to far-away places from the Duluth harbor. The state is characterized by high taxes, high welfare levels (possibly Scandinavian influences), strong economy (scores of large co.'s are HQed here, incl. Gen Mills that made the cereal you are for breakfast, 3M that made your lint roller, Medtronic that made your grandpa's pacemaker, Hormel that makes the Spam you grew up on, Polaris that made your uncle Duffy's snowmobile, Target, whose repulsive target-eye dog seems to be everywhere, etc.), changing demographics (growing Latino, Somali and Hmong enclaves), changing politics (a pronounced shift to the right). Vacationing generally means "goin' to the cabin up Nort'" for fishing and boating, while the winter is spent is super-luxurious ice fishing shacks with TVs and bunk beds, drinking the local Grain Belt beer. The people are overall Minnesotah-nice, meaning that anything that they disapprove of is glossed over as "oh, that's different". The state's public radio service (recently renamed AMerican Public Media) produces some of the most popular national programs, such as Prairie Home Companion, Marketplace, Speaking of Faith, St Paul Sunday, Futuretense, etc. Quite a feat for a semi-frozen swath of land that has about 5 mil people in it.
Minnesota frequently makes it on the last page of your daily hometown paper as the coldest place in the nation.

I *like* this definition, except it blasts my home state.

7.) Month of your birth?
January
Nantional Hangover Month. Because of the recent holadays and masive partying the general population spends the month hungover
"Crap I have to go back to work. Wait, Its January which means my bose will be hung over too


8.) Last person you talked to?
Eva
H... ]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22370546/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22370546/ Sat, 03 Jan 2009 09:37:20 PST
If everyone says, "everything is well," what do you say?
"Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" (Phantom of the Opera)

What best describes your personality?
"Clair de Lune" - I'm quiet and dignified??

What suits you today?
"The Phantom of the Opera" - No, I'm not in a particularly angry mood...

What is your goal in life?
"The Ballad of Sweeney Todd" - wtf is up with all these songs??

What is your motto?
"World" - Sick Puppies - okaay....

What do your friends think of you?
"Rebell" - that's good, I guess?

What do you think about often?
"Written in the Stars" - I think about destiny. True, true.

How much is 2 + 2?
"House of Wolves" by MCR... o_O

What do you think of your best friends?
"The Sky and the Dawn and the Sun" - my friends are everything to me. I guess that's what it's saying?

What do you think of the person you like?
"Cross my Heart" - Um? Good?

What is the history of your life?
"Disenchanted" - That is DEPRESSING.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Roboter" - what?

What will you do when you meet the person you like?
"Dreams for Plans" - I will exchange my dreams for plans for the future?

What do your parents think of you?
"Easy as Life" - This doesn't sound like a GOOD thing...

What will you dance to in your wedding?
"I Guess You're Right" by the Posies

What music will play during your funeral?


What is your pastime?
"Glen Scene Opening" - God, half my songs have been from musicals... I'm a nerd

What is your biggest secret?
"One Voice" - Yes. I ONLY HAVE ONE VOICE. Ohmygod now you all know...

What do you think of your friends?
"All in Love is Fair" - but didn't we already have this question?

What is the worst thing that could happen?
"Reflection" - now this is just not true.

How will you die?
"The Color of Blue" - drowning???

What is the only thing you regret?
"Act 1" - yeah, try to make some sense of THAT...

What makes you laugh?
"Penelope's Song" by Loreena McKennitt - no, that makes me sad.

What makes you cry?
"Anywhere but Here" - Yes, actually.

Who will you marry one day?
"Your Work" - I won't be married, I'll be working too hard?

What scares you the most?
"Rent" from RENT - sure...

Does anyone like you?
"Under Pressure" - WHAT? I don't understand... stupid phone's lack of fortune telling capabilities! SPEAK TO ME!

If you could go back in time, what would you change?
"Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life for Me)" - Exactly. I would be a pirate. *smashes phone*

What hurts you now?
"Hear Me"

What will you name this post?
"Ein Kompliment"

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22312668/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22312668/ Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:44:55 PST And, of course, a meme.


Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more?
I didn't make any resolutions. I usually don't. Maybe this year I will. (I have 3 1/2 hours to make up my mind, in any event.)

Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, not that I'm aware of.

Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank goodness.

What countries did you visit?
I stayed in the U.S., thanks.

What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Decent hair, a finished (REALLY finished!) novel, a published book..? I can keep going!

What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory?
June 30th.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Probably writing a zillion words. I wrote a *lot* this year.

What was your biggest failure?
I'm not sure. I don't like dwelling on the negative.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not physical...

What was the best thing you bought?
I didn't buy it, but - my new phone, in June. Awesome little thing

Whose behaviour merited celebration?
A lot of people's!

Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Sarah Palin is actually the first person who came to mind. And a lot of my friends disappointed me. I won't say "appalled," that's too strong a word, but I have two in mind right now who I am deeply angry at, even though we're still friends. I've just had my trust shaken.

Where did most of your money go?
Clothes, probably. I'm so cliche.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Most recently, semi! But also NaNoWriMo and every Wrimo actually

What song/album will always remind you of 2008?
Anything by Within Temptation.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder: Not either. I still have a lot of the same problems.
Skinnier or fatter: ...Heh.
Richer or poorer: Richer. I did hold a job for 3 1/2 months.

What do you wish you’d done more of?
Saved more money! I spent a lot of it.

What do you wish you’d done less of?
Watched TV, or just sat around doing nothing.

How did you spend Christmas?
One day with my dad's family, the next with my mom's. Lots of food and family time.

Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
Elyssa, probably. I've been having conversations with one friend recently I've never talked to on the phone before, and it's nice.

Did you fall in love in 2008?
No. Crushes, yes. But I've never really fallen in love.

What was your favourite TV programme?
Firefly! And, The Office, 30 Rock, Sailor Moon (with my sister), etc. etc.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate? No. But I distrust several.

What was the best book(s) you read?
For the first time, it'd probably be Lord of the Flies. I reread a lot of good books, too, though.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Pandora.com!

What did you want and get?
A laptop!! I love it, and named it Betsy.

What did you want and not get?
Well, I suggested a camcorder if my parents didn't want to get me a laptop, but they did so it didn't matter.

What were your favourite films of this year?
Oh goodness. I don't even know. Yes, I do: Wall-E!

What did you do on your birthday?
I had rehearsal for the one-act... I didn't really celebrate that day. But mine's coming up again soon

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
GETTING PUBLISHED.
Oh, you mean something possible? I don't... ]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22299821/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22299821/ Wed, 31 Dec 2008 10:12:03 PST Of course, I added some more questions and took out those I didn't like, as is my habit.

1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most.
2. Make them answer the following questions.
3. Then tag three people.
4. Feel free to go ahead and add some questions yourself!!

So. . . who's doing the quiz?
(All girls)
Terae (in her 20s)
Lark (about 17, the most recent version of her)
Dess (18)
Nora (15)
(These last two have never been written, meaning this might be a tad difficult. They're the MCs of the novel I might be starting soon. Nora is Dess' daughter, but obviously I'm doing it at different times of their lives.)

1. What's your favorite food?
Terae: I don't really have a favorite food - but my favorite drink is wine, red wine.
Lark: Everything but what they serve at the camps!
Dess: Fresh things, fruit and vegetables and the like.
Nora: What kind of a question is this, anyhow? Does it matter? Does any of this have to do with me?

2. Are you a virgin?
Terae: No, of course not.
Lark: That's my business, and not yours!
Dess: Yes, since I'm unmarried.
Nora: Yes, I am. But that's way too personal of a question!

3. What kind of movies do you watch?
(This is if movies existed...which they don't in my characters' world)
Terae: I would like romances, but then I'd always get into the bad habit of comparing my life to the movie and I'd get sad about it.
Lark: I'd probably like war movies, and then rant about how unrealistic they are.
Dess: I wouldn't like movies very much. I don't like sitting around.
Nora: Something with a decent plot. Or comedies!

4. Are you married?
Terae: No. The one person I fell in love with was married, and not to me, so that was out of the question. And I honestly cannot imagine myself marrying anyone else.
Lark: Marriage, me? That's funny!
Dess: No, not yet. Not sure if I ever will be, but that's not really something that bothers me.
Nora: Is it even possible to get married in such a small town?! I'd have to go to the city to even meet a husband!

5. Have you ever gotten drunk before?
Terae: No, not really - tipsy maybe.
Lark: Yes. But that was to escape the pain of amputation. It was for a reason.
Dess: No, but it was always scary when people did, at the Central Tower... I mean, none of us were ever used to alcohol, and then it was all we could drink.
Nora: No. We don't have alcohol at my house.

7. Your embarrassing moment?
Terae: Er... I try not to dwell on that sort of thing.
Lark: When Joseph mistook me for a boy. That's always an interesting story to tell!
Dess: Um...
Nora: Pass!

8. Who are your best friends?
Terae: Ellen and Vrie - they'd be there for me no matter what.
Lark: Joseph and Paul were, but Paul abandoned me and Joseph... Joseph died. So now I'd have to say Jillian is.
Dess: I'm not close to anyone, really.
Nora: I have none! We live way too far away from every other person in this place to even talk to people more than once a month. I hate it!

9. What was the low point of your life?
Terae: Either the day Myrren left... or the day he died.
Lark: When Jeremy found out that I was female.
Dess: When I was seven and my sister...
Nora: Something stupid. I've been spared from most of life's tragedies so far, heh.

10. If you saw a shooting star right now, what would you wish for?
Terae: I would wish Myrren would come back to me.
Lark: To experience love. Or else for money.
Dess: I would wish to be able to spend the rest of my life out by the ocean, without ever having to come back inside.
Nora: To live in the city.

11. What is your favorite word?
Terae: Love.
Lark: Fire.
Dess: Water.
Nora: I probably can't say it here...

12. What song was sung to you when you were a child as you went to sleep?
Terae: Ianese children's songs - and I can't speak Ianese.
Lark: That's a funny thought!
Dess: I don't really think anything. My parents weren't big music lovers.
Nora: Lots of things. I don't remember any of them.

13. What was the best day or moment of your life?
Terae: Those days Myrren and I were staying, worry-free, in the castle in Areen... best days of my life.
Lark: I honestly don't know. I don't have any in particular.
Dess: The day I first saw the ocean.
Nora: My life has been unendingly dull... I don't really have any high points or low points. At all.

14. How would you describe your voice?
Terae: I am a good singer. Or at least I'm decent enough to make a living off o... ]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22259236/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22259236/ Mon, 29 Dec 2008 11:20:36 PST
If anyone wants to write with me, I'd love to have a buddy. We could keep in touch and help each other out, that sort of thing. Maybe read each other's stories afterwards, if they're decent.

The story I'm planning on writing is a really, really old idea (August 2006 - coincidentally the same month I started Unnecessary Wings - it was actually a bit of a tossup between the two stories) but I've expanded it. Basically it's a coming-of-age story. I don't feel like getting into any more detail that that, unless anyone really would like to know.

I want to write because I'm in a bit of a rut in my life, and this at least will give me something to do!

And I got a laptop for Christmas, so I'll be using that

Oh! I wanted to show you all something I really like. One person (Limyaael) made a zillion "rants" on LJ, and they're incredibly helpful to writers looking for advice. Here's them, in alphabetical order: [link] . (The pencil icon leads to the LJ page for them). If you're looking for help on any part of novelling (they're geared especially towards fantasy but I think can help anyone), I would definitely recommend them.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22108862/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22108862/ Sun, 21 Dec 2008 18:48:15 PST I don't know who but that's okay!

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22082298/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/22082298/ Sat, 20 Dec 2008 09:42:40 PST
1. I am completely over the guy I liked before, and I'm GLAD. Because he sort of scares me now. Well, no; I just pity him.

2. Dancing is fun. I danced like I've never danced before, and my feet were so swelled afterwards I couldn't put my shoes on. But it was a lot of fun and I decided I like being crazy. :]

3. Life is complicated... relationships are complicated... but song lyrics are easy to memorize!

I understand no one gets that last one but me... but I'm so danged tired right now I just couldn't care... GAAH.

Anyways, my ears are still clogged-feeling and ringing, because of course the music was too loud... there's a reason dances only happen once in a while... but I want to go to the next one, especially if I get to wear a pretty dress!

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21976447/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21976447/ Sun, 14 Dec 2008 08:22:08 PST
(I could be poetic and say love or art or peace, but although those are true, they're not what I'm talking about.)

I think it's human contact. Our culture cuts off people's interactions, and that really does affect us in a negative way. Sure, we've got email and texts and phone conversations, and those can be great, but what we all really need, I think, is to get closer to each other, other human beings.

I was at a party last night and at the beginning it was a normal party: loud music, Twister, games, tasty-but-unhealthy food. Then, somehow, we started giving each other backrubs, and soon all of us were doing that - either giving or receiving massages. And we did that for a long time, I'm not sure how long, but it was probably more than an hour. We even turned off the Spanish-language rap and turned on some semi-New Age relaxation music.

It was the weirdest thing - seven or so hyperactive, caffeinated teenagers, listening to soft piano music and giving each other massages, completely ignoring everything else in the world. It was the weirdest thing, as I said, but it was also the awesomest thing. No one felt awkward.

And we immediately started planning the next time we'd get together to do this. :]

So I'm going to try to reach out to more people now. Even if it's not a massage, there are more ways, simple things like hugs or face to face conversations or compliments. And it helps, it really does, even if you can't have your own backrub party like I did.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21817718/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21817718/ Fri, 05 Dec 2008 13:52:52 PST [link]) was fired last spring, and this year we have a new director - Brenda. That's something I will not get into, but she is domineering, inexperienced, and incompetent in many ways.

Now she's taking over the one-acts, and, as you know, I'm directing one this year: "Pirates vs. Ninjas: The Musical". Now, that's going fine (auditions finished up today, and it looks like a great cast!), but what has me all riled up is that Brenda pulled Kali (my co-director) and me aside to tell us we are not allowed to have any violence in the show whatsoever, because apparently a dramatic final fight scene "glorifies violence". What?! My play is a comedy, violence isn't glorified, and even if it is, it's got no more than a movie rated G or a light PG. There's no contact, no mortal wounds. She's not even allowing us to have plastic swords.

If that's not censorship, I don't know what is!

For the play last spring (with Tim), we performed "The Crucible". Anyone familiar with that? Hanging, witchcraft, people being put to death? It's an award winning play, and it's not a watered down version of anything - it would be stupid watered down like that. There was even a fake gun onstage during it, and it was pointed at someone, also. Guys and Dolls (with Brenda), someone was punched in the face onstage (fake-punched, of course), there was a fight, and there were prostitutes.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS?!

It seems like Brenda is trying to squash my play before it can even get off the ground, and part of me wants to give up now (I'm crying as I write this), but a bigger part of me wants to get off my feet and - figuratively - punch her in the face.

We're going to get this thing done, and we're going to do it right!

^{Yes, I am already thinking of things we can use instead. My dad suggested something like scarves, to imply swords, and several classmates said I should go above Brenda's head and talk to the administration about this.}

***EDIT!***

I talked to Brenda, the director, and we negotiated a deal. Here's what's different:

-The title is "Pirates and Ninjas" etc. (Thanks, Jon, for the idea!)

-The fighting will be *very* choreographed, with no one stabbed.

-Not all of the pirates and ninjas will be fighting. Some will be trying to stop the fighting. (I'm not sure why, but this is what did it for her - after I said this, she said it would be all right. I guess the whole "not glorifying" bit.)

In addition, she said she'll personally talk to the administrator in charge of drama to see if we can use some form of fake weapons - platic, maybe cardboard. She told me a fight with no weapons (or the stylized weapons, ribbons or something similar, like my dad suggested) would be "too hokey". XD

So it's not exactly like I thought, but it's something, at least!

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21785301/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21785301/ Tue, 02 Dec 2008 14:57:26 PST
I decided that now that NaNoWriMo's finished and I'm going to start looking at my work more seriously, a good way to stay involved in writing (but not, at the moment, actually write) would be worldbuilding.

December seems like a good time for that


[link] - I started a thread on the NaNo forums yesterday; at this point it's got 11 replies besides myself - so far, so good.


I am using this map I made about 3 years ago as a starting point: [link] . With that, I'm taking all of the countries listed there, plus the continents of Okuun and Camaia - so, 24 places - and the nonhuman species of my world.

I'm going to try and write a page a day for the rest of the month.

Now, is anyone with me??

I'd love to stay in touch with a few others who are worldbuilding and we could help each other out.

If you've never done anything like this before, I'd start with making a map. [link] is a great web site, too, and I find a lot of Holly Lisle's pages to be helpful to writers.



]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21687703/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21687703/ Wed, 26 Nov 2008 22:00:43 PST sort of.

I finished my novel, The Fires Within Us. Three parts of it.

(There were originally 5. Three of them, I just didn't do, I wasn't that into them and I didn't plan them out well enough. I added one just a couple of days before NaNo began - inspired by, of all things, a driver's ed instructor.)

Ashes: 16,188 words
Fallen: 10,397 words
The Princess and the Swan: 65,213 words. I consider this my real novel, and the other 26k just practice, however strange that sounds.

IF THIS SITUATION CONFUSES YOU, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I am greatly confused also.

AND I'm starting a part 4. It starts a couple months after The Princess and the Swan lets off, but with different main characters. It is tentatively called The Killer and the Queen, because, OH MY GOD, Quaith and Daiaan stole my novel, dang them! I introduced them yesterday, I was intending for Quaith (the queen) to be the antagonist and Daiaan (the killer) to be killed, but hey, I'm letting them do their own thing, as characters are apt to do.

Last sentence of TPatS:

"And there, in that palace in the mountains, lived the fighter and the girl with wings – the princess and the swan; for one moment, they could forget their pain, forget their wealth, their species, their color, their names, and lose themselves in each other, like falling into the sea or soaring through the sky."

CHEESY.

--=-=-=-=-=-=-=--

Enter 's contest, "Edgar Allen Poe: The Master of Dark Romance"! Open to all mediums, with a subscription as a prize. I'm a judge; I'll really appreciate your participation. The deadline is Christmas, and we really need entries.

I'll also be doing an article on the winner's piece, and I'm planning on putting a lot of work into it - more of an evaluation on how awesome it is, a really neat feature in my opinion - and there's lots of other cool prizes and things. Check it out!

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21587767/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21587767/ Thu, 20 Nov 2008 19:12:29 PST
A good friend of mine has been talking to me about crazy mood swings he's been having for a while now, and we researched it. He told me that he thinks he's bipolar, and the more I look into it, the more it seems like it. But he won't get treatment or even talk to anyone but me about it. I don't want to go behind his back and tell someone about it, because that would be violating his trust... but the Mayo Clinic website and other places I've researched said that someone should seek help immediately, because it won't get better with time, only worse...

How can I help him? Is it possible, when he doesn't want to help himself?

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21524479/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21524479/ Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:59:17 PST 's journal, but there were way less than 100 questions, and nobody seems to know why... so I am FILLING IN THE BLANKS with questions of my own. Yeah, I know...

See if you can find the ones I made up.

100 TRUTHS:
001. Name - Cecilia, and I hate it
002. Nickname - Ceci
003. Status - Single, if that's what they're asking for...
004. Zodiac sign - Capricorn
005. Male or female - female <3
006. Elementary - Elementary school? um...
007. High School - ---
008. College - I don't know yet.
009. Smart - I think so.
010. Hair color - Naturally it's light brown, now with pink streaks
011. Long or short - medium, but usually it's short
012. Loud or Quiet - quiet but I can be loud
013. Sweats or Jeans - jeans
014. Phone or Camera - camera I love my camera!
015. Health freak - No, not at all
016. Drink or Smoke? - No, but I plan to become a wine freak when I turn 21. (That's kind of an inside joke...)
017. Do you have a crush on someone? - Yeah, but I'm almost going to give up on it completely.
018. Eating or Drinking - eating plz
019. Piercings - 2 in each ear but I don't like them really
020. Tattoos - As soon as I hit 18.
021. Can you sing? – No. Honestly, no.
022. Can you dance? – Even worse than I can sing!

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing - 7 years old
024. First best friend - Jesse
025. First award - Uh, I don't know the first one
026. First crush - 11 years old. The guy was an idiot xD
027. First pet - Fingers the cat, way older than I was, died when I was 6 or 7
028. First big vacation - Arizona, age 4
030. First big birthday - 5? I had a clown...

[Here it skips 19 questions... so I added another section]

FAVORITES:
031. Animal - tarantula
032. Color – orange or sky blue (or both, together)
033. Place to vacation – DEUTSCHLAND.
034. Book – The Hero and the Crown, Jane Eyre, or a zillion others
035. Movie – V for Vendetta or The Lives of Others (it’s a crazy-awesome German movie; watch it)
036. Actor – Johnny Depp. He is fantastic.
037. Actress – Natalie Portman, because I sure as hell would not get my head shaved on camera
038. Novelist – Ohh, too many… Robin McKinley?
039. Poet – Percy Shelley
040. Artist – I like Annie Leibowitz…
041. Style of artwork to make – realistic? Photography?
042. Word – “erhaps”. I overuse it a ton.
043. Sport – volleyball, I guess. No, knowledge bowl! XD
044. Type of music – Symphonic metal. Really. Within Temptation/Epica/Nightwish/Sirenia for the win.
045. Singer/band – Within Temptation, Loreena McKennitt
046. Time of day - …I just got “My Time of Day” stuck in my head. (And, morning.)
047. Number – 6.
048. Letter – Hm… I like “M”. And “S”. But “C” isn’t bad…

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating – just had soup
050. Drinking – Grape juice
052. I'm about to – get kicked off the computer
053. Listening to – “Haunted,” Evanescence.
054. Plans for today – I want to write until like 11pm. I had a 6k day today but I’m rolling well.
055. What have you done so far today – I’ve gone driving (woo!), eaten soup, written a lot

YOUR FUTURE:
056. College? – Yes, I plan on it
057. What kind of car? – ideally, motorcycle or small car
058. Want kids? – Yes, definitely
059. Want to get married? – If I find the right person…
060. Careers – Novelist, photographer, something to do with German

WHICH IS BETTER WITH OPPOSITE SEX?
068. Lips or eyes? – Eyes
069. Muscular or thin? – Thin
070. Shorter or taller? – Taller, but not too much so. Height’s not that important.
071. Serious or funny? – Funny, I think. Serious can be so boring…
072. Romantic or spontaneous? – Spontaneous. Both, actually.
073. Nice stomach or nice arms? – Both?
074. Sensitive or loud – S... ]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21323243/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21323243/ Tue, 04 Nov 2008 17:44:17 PST
1. I keep following the same patterns in my life, year after year after year, and I'm hurting myself by it.

2. I have to stop living for what people think of me and start living for myself.

3. I do know what love is, I have experienced it, even though I've never "fallen in love" with anyone. I have friends, and I love them so much.

==-=-=-=-=-==

tagged by

You'll be given a letter by the person who tagged you. List 10 things beginning with that letter that you love. Mine is "M".

1. Memorizing things. 16 stanzas of Oscar Wilde's "Ballad of Reading Gaol". All of Mary Warren's lines in The Crucible. Pretty much every song from all of the musicals I like. Half of V's speech in V for Vendetta. I like memorizing things and reciting them at inopportune times! (Although one of the above led to the other - I recited "TBoRG" at my audition for The Crucible and got a kickass part!)

2. Minnesota. I love my state! It's the home of the Mall of America, Prince, and a lot of other famous/insanely cool people I'm way too tired to think of! Plus we're the only state that's voted Democratic in every election since Nixon. (We'll see if that stays, eh?)

3. Mornings. The best time of day in many respects. If I wake up late and don't get much morning time, I feel bad. It's beautiful, not too hot and not too cold, and sunrises are beautiful. From a photographer's point of view, too, it's the best time of day.

4. "Mayerling Waltz" from Elisabeth. [link] It's a really cool stage suicide sequence, it involves crossdressing, it's from a German-language musical, and introduced Sylver to Elisabeth - good, good stuff!

5. Mann. Juan Mann, I mean. The FREE HUGS guy! He's absolutely inspiring and amazing and I want to hug him. A friend of mine and I are doing that in about a month, and I'm super excited. Go to youtube and type "free hugs" to see the video.

6. Milton. I'm sorry, John Milton, that I could not read "Paradise Lost" all the way through. But I tried, and it's beautiful.

7. "Mont Blanc" by Percy Shelley.
[from stanza 3]
Some say that gleams of a remoter world
Visit the soul in sleep,-that death is slumber,
And that its shapes the busy thoughts outnumber
Of those who wake and live. -I look on high;
Has some unknown omnipotence unfurled
The veil of life and death? or do I lie
In dream, and does the mightier world of sleep
Spread far and round and inaccessibly
Its circles?... [link]
...yeah.

8. Mysteries. What's the fun if everything is known? I like reaching into places no one understands, questioning things people will never figure out. I really love not knowing anything. If I knew everything I think I'd die.

9. Mistakes. Obviously, I don't WANT to make them... but if they're already made (and people will make them, undoubtedly) we should grow from them. Constructive criticism=win.

10. Me. Yeah, it's dumb, it's cheesy, but I actually kinda like who I am.

IF YOU WANT A LETTER, POST! I'll give you one.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21254823/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21254823/ Fri, 31 Oct 2008 19:42:37 PDT
But I'm not going to be heeere ~
I am writing novels.
[link]

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21129994/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21129994/ Thu, 23 Oct 2008 17:50:17 PDT 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
4. Tag your friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the note from.

- With comments because if you know me you know I like commenting on stuff -
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"I Saw Him Once" from the Les Mis original London cast recording - whaa?

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"To a Brand-New World" from some random Sailor Moon musical - I guess you could read *something* into that..

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"Search for Your Love" from Sailor Moon - I guess I have to earn their love. I don't like people who like me, is that it?

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Down Once More/Track Down This Murderer" from Phantom of the Opera - yep, that's pretty accurate actually...

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"One Voice" by the Wailin' Jennys - I want to sing? NOT REALLY.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Queen - Yes. That is my life's motto. I understand now.

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy" by Queen - I HOPE NOT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Reflection" from Mulan soundtrack - yeah, I do reflect a lot. This one fits. Unlike the one above...

WHAT IS 2+2?
"I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance - I could read this really deep. I'm not going to, haha.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Deliverance" by Sick Puppies - a really dark song. Not accurate, although she DID introduce me to this band.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Dog Eats Dog" from Les Mis London cast - no, I'm sorry, that's not true...

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"One Day More", Les Mis. Why all the Les Mis? I don't understand.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"Your Embrace" by Shakira - I want to be hugged?

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"On My Own" from Les Mis OBC - THIS IS SO TRUE, oh my goodness.

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Wait" from Sweeney Todd OBC - Again, I'm not going to read into it. My brain hurts D=

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"March of the Witch Hunters" from Wicked OBC - ??? REALLY? That's really pathetic...

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"By the Sea" - ST OBC - hahahahahahaha...

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Killer Queen" by Queen - I like breaking men's hearts.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson

WTF? That's my biggest secret?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen - Yeah, they're great

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"We Will Rock You" - I think V-Cast is seriously stuck on Queen D:

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Finale" from Sweeney Todd - I WILL BE MURDERED D= or something

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
"Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" from PotO - Sad. This almost makes sense...

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
"Brain Damage" by Pink Floyd - Hopefully I'm not THAT insensitive...

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
from "Romeo and Juliet" by some random dude whose name I am NOT going to spell [ballet] - Yes, tragic romances does make me cry.

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
"True to Your Heart" from Mulan - Aww this DOES make sense

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
"Somebody to Love" by Queen - "Can anybody find me somebody to love?" This isn't true but there is meaning there I should do this for a character, I really should! Then I can invent a story about it!

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
"Dirty Harry" by The Gorillaz - um?
~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21065951/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21065951/ Sun, 19 Oct 2008 15:23:03 PDT
I also bought a new sketchpad and oil paints. I haven't painted yet, but I've been drawing quite a bit recently.

What I'm doing now:
* Reading The Book Thief
* Working on a new silhouette portrait, started yesterday (for an equally new character, named Krara, and I LOVE HIM TO DEATH)
* Planning out Part Five (of five) of my NaNoWriMo novel (I'm working backwards), titled The Princess and the Swan
* Cleaning, hanging posters, that sort of deal
* Just generally chilling for NaNo.

PLEASE DO NANOWRIMO. Seriously. I cannot express how cool it is. Just, go to nanowrimo.org and sign up if you haven't already. And tell me! I'll friend you

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21023123/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/21023123/ Thu, 16 Oct 2008 20:19:05 PDT

ANYWAYS!

If you get my 5000th pageview, I'll give you...

something shiny?

I don't know. A request. ^{I haven't finished my 2000-view request yet...} sorry .

Oh well. I'll think you're cool and all that. Try for it.



]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20991774/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20991774/ Tue, 14 Oct 2008 18:58:20 PDT 1.) The complete Unnecessary Wings is posted on fictionpress.com. [link] This is remarkable because while this is not the first novel-length (it's 46k, which I suppose is novel-length enough) story I've finished, it is the longest novel-length story I've been brave enough to polish up and post online in its entirety. It's really not terrible, even if I did write a lot of it when I was 14/15 (it was started more than two years ago).

2.) My dad was on the TV show "Forensic Files". I watched the episode with him. It was cool. Apparently they had to powder his head TWICE because it was too shiny. If you know my dad, you'll understand. (It's not as bad as DDA - say it aloud, you'll know who I mean [if you know him] - but it's bad. Funny bad.)

3.) If you go to my school and you're brave enough to lurk your way to Mr. N's room after school for Knowledge Bowl, you'll find BROWNIES! Baked courtesy of me

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20816693/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20816693/ Fri, 03 Oct 2008 21:52:50 PDT choices. If you don't understand what I mean, please keep reading - it's not all negative, I promise.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Okay. One quirk about me is that I have weird dreams, but I almost never have recurring dreams, except for one, which I always get when I'm stressed out. I consider it the one of the few nightmares that I've had since leaving childhood. Basically I dream that people (sometimes strangers, or friends, or, in one case, the entire stage crew) are watching me while I sleep.

This is also a great fear of mine - that people are spying on my sleep.

So I'm sure you can understand why Twilight is terrifying to me.

The book has been so-so. I was expecting worse, and it's not really bad. But it scares me really, really badly, and I'll tell you exactly why in one word and one word only:

Edward.

Yes, Edward Cullen. Oh, he's perfect! fangirls all over gush. Wonderful. The ideal guy. Didn't they have a huge fuss over who was going to play him in the movie? Edward Cullen is the "ideal man," and therefore impossible to duplicate in real life, right?

Do none of you realize that Edward Cullen is probably the most posessive, bullying "hero" character in any sort of modern literature? To treat him not only as a tragic, brave figure, but also as the ideal man, is truly terrifying. I am not exaggerating.

For one thing, it is shallow. It seems the only difference between Edward and the other boys (at least at the beginning) is, you know, Edward's "smoldering" eyes and muscular yet somehow slender frame. Why the hell is she so fascinated with him? Okay, there's one other explanation, and that's that Edward is the only guy in the school who hasn't asked her to the dance/hit on her/thought about how freaking hot she is (Can anyone say "Mary-Sue"..?)

For another, I can't imagine how Bella, or any sane female for that matter, can allow a man, any man, no matter how stunningly gorgeous, mysterious, and amazing in every way he is, to control her life. Would you? Would you let someone control you like he does?

I started to step around him, heading for the driver's side.... His arm created an inescapable snare around my waist. (284)

She's trying to drive. Her own car. And he won't let her.

This is the second time that this has happened so far in the book. In addition, he seems to want to find out every little fact about her life while not divulging ANYTHING about his own. He has a strong aversion to her questions. When he does answer, it's vague or unhelpfully short; the chances aren't good he'll give an answer at all. The questions he likes and does not like seem wildly unpredictable, and he reacts with anger. However, he pesters her with questions constantly:

While he walked me to English, when he met me after Spanish, all through the lunch hour, he questioned me relentlessly about every insignificant detail of my existence. (229)

Charming, no?

Oh. And, the best part. He watches her while she's sleeping. Because she's "interesting" when she sleeps. Oh, and he stalks her, because of his apparent ability to make himself invisible.

What's more disturbing, if possible, is Bella's attitude towards all of that. Initially she's embarrassed that her "ideal man" (*cough*) is following her around and watching her while she slumbers. I would be too, surely. But that soon fades:

"You spied on me?" But somehow I couldn't infuse my voice with the proper outrage. I was flattered. (292)

Flattered? Yes. I suppose that's natural as well, to some extent, for some things. But I think this goes beyond that.

Here's my point: A hero that tries to control the life of anyone, much less the girl he supposedly loves and would give his life for (looks more like give HER life for), is not a hero in my eyes. He is scary. He is someone I would break up with immediately. I know that I'm not like Bella Swan - I don't memorize Shakespeare or read Wuthering Heights repeatedly for fun (though I have read it of my own free will, but nothing about it was fun), and I certainly am not as subservient or self-depricating as she is. But still - can she please have a backbone? Passive protagonists are no fun to read about, anyway. I would rather read the exploits of someone who won't let the world control them, but who tries to control it. Bella is in no way shaping her own destiny.

I think that the relationship dynamic displayed in Twilight is an awful thing to aspire to. Honestly I thought I'd come away laughing after reading this, or, possibly, amazed that I was wrong; I'm more scared, really.

-.-.-

Okay. That's the negative. I... ]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20688911/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20688911/ Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:09:26 PDT

NANOWRIMO 2008.
The site is up. A full week early!
[link]

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20637088/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20637088/ Tue, 23 Sep 2008 14:39:51 PDT
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it that night out of Chicago when I saw you sit on Donald Duck. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that your pimples are at the last stage. I'm returning your memories from the military service to you, but I'll keep the oil stocks as a memory. You should also know that I told in my confession today about a new life as a clone.

With ease,
Ceci

IF YOU READ THIS, you're TAGGED!

>. [link] .<

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20371393/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20371393/ Sun, 07 Sep 2008 08:54:44 PDT
I'm trying to make a decision, though. Tablet or no tablet? There is no halfway on this - either I pay around $200 for a beautiful piece of equipment that I might use a lot, sporatically, or not at all, or I stick to the same things I've always done, colored pencils and paper and the like.

I don't know. I don't know. And I'm stressed out from other things too - namely, I love theatre, and I want to do it more than anything else right now, but I need to keep working and I'm taking driver's ed this fall as well, and I wouldn't have time. Sacrifices and all that. It SUCKS. I guess this is kind of what being an adult is like. I hate school so much - it saps 7 hours of my day and it doesn't teach me anything, it seems.



]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20214823/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20214823/ Fri, 29 Aug 2008 08:00:18 PDT
Rules:
* Choose a singer/band/group.
* Answer using ONLY titles of songs by that singer/band/group.
* Tag 6 more people to do so and let them know they've been tagged.

Are you male or female?
Helena


Describe yourself!
Teenagers


What do people feel when they're around you?
It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Death Wish


How would you describe your previous relationship?
I Don't Love You


Describe your current relationship?
This is the Best Day Ever


Where would you like to be now?
Welcome to the Black Parade


How do you feel about love?
The Sharpest Lives


What's your life like?
Dead! just kidding


What would you ask for if you had only one wish?
Sleep XD


Say something wise.
Famous Last Words

...in other news, school in 4 days.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20117691/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/20117691/ Sat, 23 Aug 2008 17:48:04 PDT It's not real yet, but I'm planning it out for a one-act for next year's festival!

I think it's going to be a blast. I'll write the script and direct, my sister will write the music, and my mom already volunteered to help with costumes.

So, all of my RL friends who have dA: this is not definite, but at this point it looks very likely... and if you want to help out in some way, please please tell me! I'll you.

vs

Who will win?

I don't know, what do you think? Pirates or ninjas?

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19758422/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19758422/ Sun, 03 Aug 2008 19:16:07 PDT . I seriously *cannot* wait; it just seemed to enter my mind recently that it was even nearby. And now it seems just around the corner, and I can'tcan'tcan't wait!!!

Here are a few of my deviations that have photos from this place:

[link] - the theme last year (and this) is pirates. This is a rowboat that they decked out to look like a pirate ship. Pure awesomeness

[link] - taken two years ago, I just think it's a really lovely picture.

[link] - also taken two years ago, it's my friend Madeleine.

[link] - me, two years ago. It's boy!Ceci with short short hair, haha

[link] - the sunsets are so lovely

I'm going to get sunburned skin and lots of muscles, and (hopefully) come back with a ton of photos.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19709206/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19709206/ Thu, 31 Jul 2008 22:43:50 PDT
You catch it, cool. I'll give you something.

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19612359/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19612359/ Sat, 26 Jul 2008 19:22:29 PDT This might be really confusing, but I was inspired by someone (I forget who)'s "wheel of crack pairings" or the like. It was for Avatar but I thought it might be cool to do one for original characters, since 's meme was so much fun and it got me thinking.

1. Choose six characters. They can be anyone's, as long as you're familiar enough with them. They don't have to exist in the same world or story as each other, either, and it might even be better if they don't.
A. Terae
B. Myrren
C. Selene
D. Paul
E. Pan
F. Lon

2. Answer the following questions for each combination of characters listed.

-Describe the characters' personalities in as few words as possible.

-Describe what their relationship with each other is as it exists in the story, if applicable. If not, skip.

-Describe why the two would make a good pairing.

-Describe why the two would not make a good pairing. "They don't exist in the same world!" or "They're mortal enemies!" does NOT count. Pretend that they met each other under ideal circumstances. Why would they NOT end up together if that was the case? (If you cannot think of a reason besides stupid ones, you should just go and write a fic with them paired together, and see if there really are no problems.)

-If you want, make up a cute name for this ("___shipping")

-Tag some people, if you liked doing this and want to spread the madness.

Character A & F

Character B & E

Character C & D

(add more, if you want. I'm just doing three pairs to start.)

Terae/Lon
(it feels like I'm writing fanfiction for myself )

Their personalities:
Lon: quiet, determined, posessive, physical, duty-bound, loyal, slightly creepy and stalker-ish at times
Terae: Emotional, physically strong but emotionally dependent, bored easily, brave, reckless, not demanding, won't stand up for self

Don't exist in the same world... They'd make a good pairing because they would be willing to work together. Lon wouldn't be mean to Terae, and she would benefit from having someone be that loyal to her. Terae would probably start the relationship because Lon would be too shy to.

It would be bad because Lon would be too cold - Terae would want someone much more open and warm. She would eventually lose interest in it when she's not satisfied, and possibly cheat on him.


Myrren/Pan

Okay, first off, this is the creepiest pairing ever.

Myrren: Emotional, open, sensual, sexual, free, honest, good actor, few qualms about any relationship (he cheated on his wife with a woman half his age)
Pan: immature, childish, needy, loving

Why it would work: Uhh... well, they're both emotional people, so they would be open with each other. Pan is open to all sorts of different people, so I don't see her getting turned off of Myrren right away.

Why it wouldn't work: She is 14-16. He is 35. It is creepy as hell. Not to mention he probably has vastly different ideas about what is meant by a relationship. A good name for this? Um, "Lolitashipping" maybe?


Selene/Paul

Selene is a good actress, cold, calculating, loyal only to herself, an optimist, and a lover of beautiful things. Paul is willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good, open with others, honest, dutiful, a soldier.

They actually exist in the same story. Paul doesn't know Selene well at all, though. Selene is a not-close friend of Lark, and Paul is a former lover of Lark's. They've only met once.

It would be a good pairing: opposites attract? They'd want to try to understand each other, at least. And they're both physically attractive....

It wouldn't work: they're too different, and have completely contrasting values and beliefs. They'd get equally frustrated with each other.


Heh, that was so much fun. I want to go and randomly pair up other characters http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19571171/ Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:02:03 PDT !

1. Choose a few of your own characters.
2. Make them answer the following questions.
3. Feel free to go ahead and add some questions yourself if you want to.
4. Tag three people.

It sounded fun to me, and I have enough characters rolling around in my brain... xD

I choose:
Lark
Jillian
Selene
Alaine

(These are the four main characters in my current novel, which is really the *sequel* to my novel Lark's War. They're all from the same story, and are all friends in it as well.)

Who/What are you?
Lark: I'm a girl, although some people don't know that. *grin* I used to be a soldier in the Adryonian army, but after my arm had to be amputated I was sent back home.
Jillian: I'm a teenaged girl, living in the city of Speartip.
Selene: I'm human. I'm female. There's not much else to say.
Alaine: I'm a woman and I'm living in Speartip, when I'm not over in the branching with Ecanus.

Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Lark: An older sister named Claire, and a younger brother, Cory.
Jillian: I have brothers, but they don't live with me any longer.
Selene: I'm an only child.
Alaine: I have no siblings.

What's your height?
Lark: About 5'9".
Jillian: 5'6", give or take.
Selene: 5'6", 5'7", somewhere in that area.
Alaine: About 5'4", although sometimes I wish I was taller.

How old are you?
Lark: Seventeen or eighteen.
Jillian: About fifteen.
Selene: Seventeen.
Alaine: Seventeen.

Are you a virgin?
Lark: ...No.
Jillian: Yes, and I'd like to keep it that way for a long time!
Selene: Yes, although sometimes I wish I wasn't.
Alaine: No, not anymore...

Who's your mate/spouse?
Lark: I don't have one, and I'm likely never to marry. Boyish girls aren't popular, and destitute, one-armed girls are even lower on the list.
Jillian: No one. I never want to marry a man.
Selene: Thiel is my fiancee, and I hope to be married this winter.
Alaine: Ecanus. Although I'm sure we'll never properly marry, I don't want to be with anyone in the world except for him.

Do you have any kids?
Lark: Oh hell no. I'd be the worst mother ever.
Jillian: No, although I'm not against the idea of being a mother. (Although seeing as how I'm against the idea of sleeping with a man, that's probably not going to happen.)
Selene: No. Having children would probably kill me because of how damaged my body is already.
Alaine: ...Not yet. I'm pregnant, though. (Although none of the others know this...)

Have you ever killed anyone?
Lark: Yes, in battle. I didn't think much of it; I was doing my duty.
Jillian: No, and I think I'd be very squeamish about it, and feel guilty.
Selene: No, and I don't expect to ever have that experience.
Alaine: No, but I would be willing to kill for those I love.

Do you hate anyone?
Lark: I'm mostly indifferent. Hatred's too strong a thing to bat around lightly.
Jillian: I hate anyone who thinks they can control me, or thinks they're better than I am.
Selene: No, I try not to.
Alaine: I hate anyone who would try to pull me apart from the one I love.

Do you love anyone?
Lark: Nahh, and I'm beginning to think it's not possible for me to love anyone. That's not how my mind works.
Jillian: Yes, Lark, although I'm not sure if it's love.
Selene: I'm beginning to think I'm in love with the man I'm going to marry, which may just be the thrill of being loved by someone. Either way, it makes me happy.
Alaine: I love Ecanus more than I could have ever imagined.

What is your job?
Lark: Former soldier. Now I'm living off my benefits and mooching off of my rich friends. Heh.
Jillian: I'm a woman. Women don't have jobs.
Selene: My family is rich enough to not have to work.
Alaine: Job? Not a job, per se, but I do whatever I have to do to keep myself alive.

What do you do to relax?
Lark: I sleep a lot.
Jillian: I love reading, and I can get deep into any book, no matter how boring. It's how I forget the world.
Selene: I use the magicstone. Its power is comforting, and I really love having that sort of control.
Alaine: I don't really relax - it's best to keep myself alert, especially nowadays.

There's a person who's teasing you; what could you do?
Lark: Depending on who, I'd either punch them in the face or ignore it. Some people aren't worth my time.
Jillian: What do you thin... ]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19525264/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19525264/ Mon, 21 Jul 2008 19:42:49 PDT
Ugh. Really not looking forward to it. Wish me luck!

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19280773/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19280773/ Mon, 14 Jul 2008 15:47:41 PDT
The winner gets a request - art or, preferrably, writing. A note about art requests: I've had an inability to get anything decent done lately. You're much surer to get something done if you choose writing. A poem, short story, I don't care, just less than 3000 words please or I'll fall behind on my novel majorly.

Here it is.

1. Characters I've performed as in plays include a ditz and a verbally abusive mother.
2. My hair currently is the longest it's been in over three years.
3. I have never read a Harry Potter book in one day, despite starting at midnight on several occasions.
4. I was hypnotized in front of a crowd a few summers ago at a party, and I've regretted that ever since, for various reasons.
5. I don't like my name because it is too elegant and yellow to fit my personality.
6. The most words of a novel I've written in a day is roughly 11,000.
7. I have the strange ability to sense when people turn on or off TVs in the house. Even if the volume's off, I can feel it.
8. I've gotten so sunburned that I've been physically sick because of it.
9. The first song I ever memorized how to play on the piano was Pachelbel's Canon (the one that plays at nearly all weddings).
10. I've changed a character's gender because I felt uncomfortable writing them as a female.



It's number 4! I've been hypnotized once, but that was only by my sister. Nothing strange happened. However, I do vaguely know how to hypnotize people - I learned it from my sister, and I used to call it "putting people in a trance" but that's not really what it was. Never been hypnotized in public, and certainly nothing embarrassing has happened.

The others are all true.

, please either send me a note or post your request somewhere. Thanks everyone!

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19238370/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19238370/ Sun, 06 Jul 2008 15:41:25 PDT , as basically all of my quiz things are.

If you intend on doing this, don't read the end part until you answer the questions.

1. You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. Who is with you?
My boyfriend


2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal?
An egret, one of those large water birds that looks like a heron but is white.

3. What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
I come up to it and pet it, and it lets me, although it's nervous that I'm there.

4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing, and before you is your DREAM house. How big is it?
It's not especially large. Kind of like a log cabin, but covered in moss and plants. The door is open but there's no fire or anything coming from inside.


5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
No, it's surrounded by a sprawling garden and dirt and stuff.


6. You enter the house. You walk into the dining room and see the dining room table. What do you see on AND around it?
The table itself is really large and wide, with a bunch of stools set around it. It has no tablecloth and is made of a kind of splintery wood. But on the table are porcelain/gold plates and crystal goblets, and silverware and napkins and everything. No food though.


7. You exit the house and a cup is on the ground, what kind of cup is it?
It is simple and stone or clay.

8. What do you do with the cup?
I put it in my bag and save it for later.


9. You walk to the edge of the property where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water. What kind of body of water is it?
It is a very wide lake, not still, not deep, quite blue and windswept and very pretty but not pleasant to go in or around.


10. How will you cross the water?
I'll get a boat and go across, since it's too cold to swim.


If you intend to do this, DON'T read below!
***********************************
1. The person who you are walking in the woods with is the most important person in your life.

...Perhaps at the moment, I don't know. He's pretty much the only one of my friends I see at all, since the rest are on vacations. Plus we actually DID go for a walk through woods yesterday... maybe that's why I thought of him. xD

2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems.

Not sure how that works out. Egret-sized problems sounds really random. Maybe it has more to do with the fact I saw egrets yesterday? and they're like my favorite animal?

3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems.

I pet my problems. They're afraid of me though xD

4. The size of your dream home is representative of the size of your ambition to solve your problems.

Err, I guess I'm lazy and cowardly and stuff. Not sure if that's wholly accurate, but I defintiely let my fear get the best of me on occasion.

5. A lack of a fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You'd prefer people not drop by unannounced.

This actually isn't completely accurate. Maybe my garden is really an attack!garden.

6. If your answer did NOT include food, flowers, or people, then you are generally unhappy.

?

7. The durability of the material with the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship

Solid? That's good, at least. The first good thing on this quiz... xD

8. What you did with the cup is representative of your attitude.

I put it away to use on later occasions? Well, okay then...

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire.

Um...

10. The way you cross the water is representative to how easy or hard you expect your life to be.

This is actually ver... ]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19046956/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/19046956/ Wed, 25 Jun 2008 21:14:54 PDT 1. Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2. Italicise those you intend to read.
3. Underline the books you love.

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger - just because everyone says it's bad
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy - even though I know the ending. Who doesn't?
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini - a slightly disturbing book...
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding - yes, I really loved this. It's my favorite book I've had to read for school
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath - parts of it, maybe most
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo - the viciously abridged version.... ]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/18595314/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/18595314/ Sat, 31 May 2008 14:50:10 PDT Unnecessary Wings?

It got updated.

Ten months after I last wrote it, I wrote another chapter, which is kind of like whoa. Never thought I'd do that again.

I stopped posting chapters here a while back but if you'd like, it's here: [link] Just in case anyone would like to know

]]> ~rebeldork http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/18490931/ http://rebeldork.deviantart.com/journal/18490931/ Sun, 25 May 2008 08:09:25 PDT
So, I guess I lost this one.

It's times like this that make me want to move to an island in the middle of nowhere and become a hermit.

Sometimes I hate humans.

]]> ~rebeldork