http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:redxena&section=today deviantART RSS for by:redxena en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Wed, 09 Dec 2009 15:35:22 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/27390009/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/27390009/ Thu, 24 Sep 2009 10:44:34 PDT
It is soon time to break the silence, as I had put down my camera for awhile. My fav. camera is going to cost $245.00 to fix, the shutter needs replaced. My other camera is okay, but I feel like I lost my best friend. Have to save up for the repair. Silly right?

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/23536896/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/23536896/ Thu, 05 Mar 2009 08:18:20 PST
]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/22354609/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/22354609/ Fri, 02 Jan 2009 13:19:27 PST To live from my heart, a life of emotional honesty with myself and those I love. Amid the cloudy days, I will look for the blue skies.
I will believe in the sun even when I don't see it shinning.
I will believe in love, even when I do not feel it.
I will believe in God, even when he seems silent..

I will remember to dance as if no one is watching, and to love like it is never going to hurt....

Last year I spent a great deal of time waiting for the other shoe to drop. Living in fear, this year I choose to live in faith.

So it's day 2 of the New Year.... I hope to be able to say this on December 31, 2009...

Blessings, love and peace to you and yours!

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/21137147/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/21137147/ Fri, 24 Oct 2008 08:29:19 PDT Campfires, good coffee, wonderful kayaking, hikes, perfect location to capture the autumn beauty.
A bit crisp out, a little cool, however the weather was perfect to bring us close for warmth.
The time we shared in the woods was my birthday gift. I have never received a better gift in my life.
Perfect timing for the trip...I am filled with peace, and hopefully will keep this feeling. Coming down from the mountain is difficult, but I hope to maintain the love, gratitude and peace I received.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/20792573/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/20792573/ Thu, 02 Oct 2008 12:30:27 PDT
Amazing looking back the past ten years and seeing the changes we all go through....

Will be doing more creative work in the up comming months. I don't know how many sunrises, and sunsets a person can take...

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/20534247/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/20534247/ Wed, 17 Sep 2008 08:58:14 PDT The change of season from summer to fall is starting in my area.

Fall is one of my favorite times because of the explosion of colors. I took Miz V's photo last night as the sun was going down. The light and her smile reminded me of changing of the seasons, and also the changes that I have been overjoyed to be a part of as she has grown into a intelligent, beautiful young woman.

It is so difficult to believe in only two years Miz V. will be leaving high school and starting a new cycle, a new season in her life.

It is as if you blink your eyes and ten years pass. Time truly does not wait for anyone.

I looked in my mirror and saw my mother,
I looked at my daughters and see maturing adults.

One IUP Graduate-teaching for 2 years, getting married in June.

One a Senior at IUP and going off to grad school next fall.

The baby a Senior in High School, looking forward to graduation next spring....

For myself it doesn't seem so long ago that I was preparing for marriage.

Reflecting today about life and the seasons we live. I believe I am in the early September of my life when the summer is a not so distant memory, the chill is in the air, beauty will abound, a time for harvest. I am appreciating this season, before the crisp winter days and night begin.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/20334832/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/20334832/ Fri, 05 Sep 2008 03:57:25 PDT I have not be taking photos with my own cameras for a few weeks. I would decide at the last min. not to take my equipment. I just wanted to enjoy being in the moment instead of trying to get the perfect shot... I have to step back sometimes because I become frustrated and then the experience is as good...

This weekend I will bring my equipment along, and I will just relax and remember how much I love photography. Going with the flow of the weekend.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/20180407/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/20180407/ Wed, 27 Aug 2008 08:07:07 PDT Last night my love, and best friend went with me to place flowers on Carrie's grave.
I rode on the back of my beloved's motorcycle, threw the lush farmland. How bittersweet the ride was, feelings of love, and sadness at the same time. When we arrived at the location the colorful balloons at her gravesite seemed so out of place. I hesitated however I took the hand of my love and we walked to the site.

As I prayed, and sat there I was struck with so many emotions at once. How grateful I am to have loved Carrie. I also was so thankful for the lessons that I have learned through her loss.

Loving others costs each of us. I sat at her gravesite with tears streaming down my face realizing how much love cost. We each pay a price when we love deeply. There are no guarantees how long we will have with those we love.

My largest regret did not know the last time that I saw her, that it would be the last time.
There were no goodbyes. Just hugs, and kisses with a promise that we would get together soon.

I was thinking how each of us would give anything to have just 5 min. with those we have loved and lost. My hope is that I am changing and becoming a person who keeps short accounts. You know how easy it is to slip into old patterns. Patterns that do not love, and shed no light.
Patterns of selfishness instead of selflessness.

I must remember each day to honor the day and those who are in my life. I must remember that love costs us everything and not to be afraid to love fully. I must remember to keep short accounts and to value each person, and each situation that enters into my life.

I must remember to see the lessons, and not the trials or struggles. Most of all I must show gratitude to God for never leaving this prodigal child, as I struggle to learn to love, and to live from my heart, to live in faith, and to let go of fear, I must remember that I am never, nor have I ever been alone.

The year was not easy, in fact it was one of the most difficult I have lived. I am grateful for those who continued to love me when I was most unlovable, when I was lost, and when the darkness seemed to overshadow the light.

I am so grateful for my beloved for he has taught me over the years what love truly is, standing by me when it was not easy, and loving me in spite of my imperfections.

I thank those of you who have inspired me throughout the last year. I found beauty in so many of your works, and so many of your words.

So many lights that broke through the darkness of grief, showing me beauty in the world, and beautiful individuals when I could not find the light on my own....

Peace and light....

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/19715186/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/19715186/ Fri, 01 Aug 2008 09:14:00 PDT
Newest Lesson: The River Of Life.....

Paddling down the river conditions change.
We must look in front of us to avoid dangers.... rocks,tree limbs, shallow waters, raging waters..

When I am paddling I adjust position, and change paddling styles....

If I continue to operate as I would on still waters, I could very easily capsize....

The force of the water if I am not aware can fill my kayak, cause imbalence and flip me.

I am not afraid on the water, I am prepared for dealing with what is around the next bend.

When I try to fight winds, and am fighting the current, I weaken... At these times, I can change direction, or I practice perseverance and know that the pace will be slow, and paddling will be more difficult. I will get to where I am going at a slower pace, and that is okay.

Life and time on the rivers have a great deal in common.
I needed the reminder to go with the flow, deal with the changes that are around the next bend, perserverance when up against strong forces, and most of all to enjoy the ride.

Lakes offer stillness and time to take photos, and to explore...

Rivers offer challenges because the conditions are ever changing.

Rapids get your heart racing and put you up for a test of skills.

Oceans I have not paddled on yet, but I look forward to the time when I do.

Each experience on the water is like each new day that I live.

Today I will remember to go with the flow, and to enjoy the journey.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/19657597/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/19657597/ Tue, 29 Jul 2008 09:20:47 PDT Could use some inspiration!!!

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/19591115/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/19591115/ Fri, 25 Jul 2008 13:24:37 PDT
I believe in the sun, even when it is not shinning.
I believe in god, even when he seems silent.
I believe in love, even if I am not feeling it.

Faith, Hope, Truth and Love sustains me.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/19463458/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/19463458/ Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:27:17 PDT
I don't know what others think but here is a quote that found me and it is so true.

“Look and think before opening the shutter. The heart and mind are the true lens of the camera.”

It is true that a picture speaks 1000 words.
I am finding many times that words do not capture moments, however photos do.

I appreciate each of you for posting your photos.
No matter what is going on in my life, I find beauty on DA.

I am grateful for the messages of hope through art, I am reminded of the beauty that is in this world, each time I log on.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/19161594/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/19161594/ Wed, 02 Jul 2008 08:43:00 PDT In stillness, my answer came.

The statement God uses the seemingly foolish to confound the wise, has taken on a new meaning.

today i rest.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18906149/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18906149/ Wed, 18 Jun 2008 06:40:08 PDT
]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18759876/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18759876/ Tue, 10 Jun 2008 03:33:25 PDT
“Look and think before opening the shutter. The heart and mind are the true lens of the camera.”

Yousuf Karsh

Truth is a subject that has been surrounding me as of late.

I was thinking of late, how many truths do I live by that are not real. The other day I had an experience, and realized that often times I have and do accept others truth as my own.
Not always wise to do...

I had a dream recently in which I asked someone if they wanted to know the truth. The person paused and said, I don't think so, well only if it can hurt me, or someone else... Exact words in the dream. When I woke up I realized the person I was speaking to in the dream was me.

Growing, and changing, learning about my own shortcommings, and how many times I fall short and am not living a life of integrity.

Truth is powerful and it prevails.
Sojourner Truth




just some thoughts.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18743478/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18743478/ Mon, 09 Jun 2008 07:14:53 PDT
]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18685549/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18685549/ Thu, 05 Jun 2008 18:45:06 PDT Biggest lesson I learned tonight is to practice seeing what's there and not what I know.....

Wow... Great concept in art, and in life......

I did not erase and go insane about being perfect.... New Concept for me... Well I got a little nervous when I had to cover my hand with a paper and draw...

But I did it and did not peek.... Who knows where the classes will lead me, but I am deciding to go with the flow....

Tryin to get exhaust pipes for the left hand side of my bike...
Anyone know of a place that sells used bike parts for a Honda 650 CB 1982?

I did not know finding the pipes would be so difficult...
I am in Harley Davidson Country, and today as I was making calls, it was amusing to me how several individuals had a problem with me
because I have a Honda...

Diehard Harley Davidson country... I did not even think that people would have an attitude when I mentioned my Honda......

I learn something new everyday.... But I must say that I did speak to some helpful people who did not treat me poorly because I do not ride a Harley.... Funny when you are on the road riding, people will do the biker wave to you, and it doesn't matter what your riding....
Makes me go Hmmmmmmmm......

Blessings to one and all even to the Die Hard men that had to speak to a chick about her Honda and were not happy about it.....






]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18657596/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18657596/ Wed, 04 Jun 2008 07:14:41 PDT Stepping out a little....

I don't think I will be the worlds best, and I may even stink at drawing, however the reason that I am taking classes is to recapture the enjoyment, and to take the class for the sake of enjoyment.

Trying to overcome my own critical judgement of myself, and to just do something for the love of doing it.....

I have been taking photo's but I have not been doing a great deal with them.... Found that I am being hyper critical of myself and can not be satisfied with my attempts to edit my photos, or to be satisfied in any photo's I take....

Got to get back to basics, taking photos for the love of taking photos.

Simplifying my beliefs, It's okay to do something, and I do not have to be perfect or even great at it. I can do things just for the enjoyment... wonderment..... and joy of it....

Getting back on my bike and taking the parking lot tour of PA...
Still have to practice so I can be a safe rider... No more spills....
")

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18627960/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18627960/ Mon, 02 Jun 2008 13:38:07 PDT
The women had a delightful time... As our faces were covered in a Chocolate Mask, I had to give a presentation on self hand massages.

We have pictures, I will have to post... Not perfect by any means, but very funny.....

We did facials, hands, and feet scrubs, and massages....
We used fruits and vegtables and all the products were made from items in the kitchen...

What a joy to participate with these dear, dear ladies, and to be able see the delight, and hear the laughter.

So many funny comments... Like-"Are my wrinkles gone? Do I look 40 years younger now?

Thank you for the good wishes, positive energy and prayers!
They made a difference.. On friday night I just did not know how I would get through saturday... I not only got through Saturday, but enjoyed every moment!!!

The women felt blessed by this time, but it was I who was blessed!

I thank each of you!

-sonja

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18574997/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18574997/ Fri, 30 May 2008 10:52:23 PDT
Saturday will be a spa day for the widows group, healing hearts grief support group. My friend who lost her husband started the group, and I met so many incredible woman... Many are 70 plus years old.... I gain inspiration from these beautiful woman.. The group started as a widows group then became a grief support group called healing hearts.

I am giving each woman a head, hand and foot massage. For many this will be a new experience.

I hope that I can offer comfort and peace through music and touch....

The biggest fear from the ladies, "We don't have to take our clothing off do we?" This is a fear that I have heard often....

My mission is to share the healing principles of touch, giving the time to God to touch each person for their highest good.

It's amazing how the older generation is a little hesitant but once I have massge them once or twice, they are no longer threatned, and realize touch is healing and not sexual...

I am always blessed when I see relaxation and peace come upon the people I massage. Going to retreat this evening and rest myself so that I can be used as an instrument of peace and healing.....

If you could send some prayers, and positive thoughts my way for saturday, it will be greatly appreciate.

tough week..... thanks

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18555703/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18555703/ Thu, 29 May 2008 06:52:31 PDT
I am finding shelter in the warmth of the sun, enjoying the beauty...
Would love to take the kayak out and hang out on the river.

Or better yet have my bike fixed and take off....


How do we get quiet in the midst of turmoil, trying to bring peace, and serenity to my day....

As I am in the office and sit in front of the cpu screen....
Had to visit deviant art to celebrate the beauty created by like minded souls....

peace to each of you....

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18499402/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18499402/ Sun, 25 May 2008 18:28:48 PDT
I am happy that I past. My daughters were thrilled and said how proud they are of me..... Fantastic words.... I just have to remember that if I spill the bike, to get back on, learn my lessons, and ride....

Thank you for your support! I will post my photos of my bike when I get copies of the photos I took. On Rich's digital camera, did not bring mine. Why? Just decided not to, and then of course I regret that decision when I decided I need to take some photo's.

Will remember to pack my camera, no matter what.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18412753/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18412753/ Tue, 20 May 2008 10:00:40 PDT Passed the written portion of the test last night.
One down, One to go......

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18396053/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18396053/ Mon, 19 May 2008 09:25:47 PDT
Sunday it was raining, and in the late afternoon the sun came out. I had been studying for the written part of my motorcycle test and was excited about getting on my bike and riding.

So I called my bf and ask if I could come over and practice riding.
My bike is bigger a Honda 650 and I am learning to ride on a Kal 250... But I was determined.

I decided to practice in a parking lot stopping, turning, and shifting gears. So I geared up started the bike and started to ride.

Everything was going okay as I was getting use to the clutch, the brakes, the weight of the bike.

Well everything was going okay until one stop, when I did not have my handle bars completely straight and I wasn't completely straight on my bike. Down I went. Yet I wasn't afraid, over 400 pounds falling to the left. Rich came running over to see if I was okay, and I was.

I laughed and said well you should have had a camera what ashame that you didn't, and then told him how right he was about getting a used bike. He had told me learning to ride with a used bike was smarter because when you learn to ride you take some spills.

So I got back up and began to ride again, learning a new lessons.

I got to thinking this am, when you ride you are to stay balenced, keep your eyes open, look to where you want to go, know your limits (don't do anything to put yourself in danger) have confidence and enjoy the ride.

Kind of like life. Starting out on a smaller bike I had to learn how to handle the bike. Upgrading to a more powerful bike I have to learn how to handle the more powerful equipment.

It's like living we continue to grow into new experiences and we have to learn to operate in a new way.

So I am learning lessons, persevering, and am grateful for the love and support of others.

To some learning to ride may sound silly, but for me it is realizing a dream and learning to live in a new way.

I know it will take some time, having only riden 3 times for less than 6 hours, but I am on my way.

Looking forward to each step, will get there one mile at a time, one day at a time.

Blessings and lessons come in the most unexpected ways, from the most unexpected sources.

It's not in the falling down that the problem lies, it is in the not getting up, or worse yet getting back up and doing the same thing over and over again.

Wow what a concept!

blessings, and peace to each of you who read this.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18348931/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18348931/ Fri, 16 May 2008 09:02:57 PDT
I got off to a rough start during the field exersise.

However, with the patience of the instructor, I was able to actually stay up, brake, change gears, and ride.

There was a point when I was afraid and thought, you know I am just going to park the bike and leave.

The instructor looked at me and ask are you going to do this, we have to get this part down in order to move on. So, I offered up a quick prayer, well it was more like a groan, please God I want to do this, please don't let fear stop me.

It amazed me that all of a sudden I just knew that if I tried again it would be okay.

I think sometimes I over think things and I try to hard. You know how it is when you want something so bad that you screw it up.

The instructor said he was proud of me, and so did a few of my class mates.

I often do this, trying to hard, instead of relaxing and going along for the ride.

It is raining and the class is rain or shine.
So even if the rain continues, I will just have to suit up in a rain suit, do my best, listen and learn.

I will offer up a prayer again, cause I am realizing that no matter what I am doing, where I am, the situation at hand, I am never alone.

God is with me, so how can I be afraid?
Faith instead of Fear.

Lesson that I learned while I am learning to ride.
Where the mind goes, the man follows.

My negative thoughts give power to the negative.
Positive thoughts give power to the positive.

Trying to learn new lessons, one day at a time.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18316545/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18316545/ Wed, 14 May 2008 07:03:22 PDT
I appreciate all the support he gives me.
My car is in the shop, so he is letting me use his today.

Tonight is the first night that I will be on a bike and learn how to use it.

I just have to remember the throttle is for gas and on the right hand side.

I am looking forward to the class, yet I am a little nervous.

I am blessed to have such a wonderful man in my life that supports me. My hope is that I will be sucessful in the class, and that we can ride off in to the sunset, and explore new things.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18237036/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18237036/ Fri, 09 May 2008 04:52:53 PDT I got my motorcycle permit yesterday! Took the test and passed. Monday I start Motorcycle Safety Classes, I have a bike that runs now and hopefully by the end of next week I will be a lisc. rider, and can ride. I just can't figure out how to take photo's while I am riding the bike.

Tee Hee, I am bad I keep my camera in the car and take photos while I am driving.
But of course only at slow speeds or when I am stopped. Okay well that's the story and I am sticking with it.

I am a little afraid, but I will not let it stop me. I think I am more afraid of not passing, you know fear of failure... But hey, However long it takes.... I want to be a safe driver.....

Very cool.... My bike is an 1982 Honda 650...I am looking for someone to do a combo photo of red sonja and red xena, a sexy warrior, to have painted on the gas tank....

Any one who has an interested in having your art work displayed on my bike, I would love to display your work around town, I went to an art show last week, and will post some of artwork on display, on others motorcycles.... Oh and I have a helment too.....

peace to each of you, I am excited!

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18113620/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/18113620/ Thu, 01 May 2008 07:32:50 PDT
46 years of May 1st. Just stopping to think of how many seconds, days, weeks, months, and years have passed.
How so many fears or difficulties that I did not think I would ever get through I do not even remember.

46 years of spring days, watching new life sprout from a tree, a bush that looks dead.

46 years of sunshines, rainy days, love, joy, confusion and doubt.
I am thinking after 46 years of experience in life, today I will sit with the knowledge that whatever is causing me discomfort will pass.

46 years waking up, today I think I will let fear go....
after realizing how may May 1st, have come and gone, I believe that world will turn, the sun will shine, and love is the answer to whatever the question that is being ask of me.

I do not have anothers answer.
I can not take away anyones pain.
But what I can do is, like I did a little while ago, wrap my arms around a grieving widow, say I am sorry, the only thing I can to is wrap my arms of love around her, and let her know that she is not alone.

Instead of shying away, I gave to her the only things I knew, prayer, and love.... I suppose when I look at my list of things to do, or the mistakes it seems that I make daily, It is easy to get down.

I am grateful once again that I listened to the still small voice in my heart that said, love her, words are not what is needed.

Why is it so hard to share honest moments with others? Is it because we risk looking the fool, or are afraid that we will be rejected.
Hmmmmmmmmmm

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17956122/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17956122/ Mon, 21 Apr 2008 08:57:13 PDT It was late in the afternoon, I wanted to watch the sunset from the lake. So I took the kayak off of the car, put my paddles into the boat, and went to move my car.

While I was sitting in my car, I was trying to send a text message from my phone. I was in the car about 5 min.

When I walked down to waters edge, an older woman, called me over to her. She hugged me and said, I was wondering where you got to. I was starting to worry and was going to come looking for you. I want you to know that you are not alone, that others care for you, you just don't know it.

I was shocked because I had been feeling alone.
You know how you may start to think that your life really doesn't matter. The condition of being human. I had tears in my eyes and I thanked her.

I got in my kayak and pushed off, and when I looked back she wasn't there. It was as if she was sent to remind me of what I had forgotten. Touched my heart in a big way. Just sharing...

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17917544/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17917544/ Fri, 18 Apr 2008 19:25:16 PDT Well not exactly, but to know the truth.Many times lately, I am ask to believe what someone else wants me to believe, except things don't ring true in my heart or my mind....

I suppose I will just have to pray through it, and what will be will be.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17793522/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17793522/ Fri, 11 Apr 2008 10:25:03 PDT
Many times I make the same mistake over and over, until struck down with a lightening bolt.

How wonderful life would be if we could edit, like we do in photography... Unwanted powerlines, stuff that screws up a photo, edit.

I wish there was a Photoshop for life sometimes....

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17759518/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17759518/ Wed, 09 Apr 2008 06:59:30 PDT
We choose, we are prisoners of our own minds, We can choose to break free, and live life, or endure life.

I choose to remember today to live, love and laugh as if my life depends upon it, wait my life does depend upon it.

Blessings and Peace to all!


I can still hear her voice as she says;
"live life well and love to the fullest"

Dreams aren't worth having,
if your afraid to live them.
Not those elusive ones.......
that fade with the break of day.

I speak of the ones that catch us up
and, steal our breath away!
When we're younger........
Its always, "when I get older"
When we're "in the middle" its always,
When I can find the time.
And when we are "older",
To often we say its too late

When I am "OLD"
and my hair is gray;
I want to be able to honestly say
Oh Man, do I remember the day!

Its is never too late!
Dare to dream.
Dare to take a good look around.
Dare to challenge yourself daily!
Dare to walk upon moon beams!

Life shouldn't be a balancing act!
I choose to live it,
with a catchers mitt.
I choose to catch all that
comes my way,
saving some for a rainy day.

The rest?
Well I can toss it away
or choose to play
But at least
In the end I can say
I've lived life to the fullest
I've done it my way!

©2005 Tina Clark

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17732809/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17732809/ Mon, 07 Apr 2008 14:14:02 PDT
Today at the office, I was dealing with an elderly gentleman.
He was in his late 70's. He came into the office, I had a smile plastered on my face, I silently groaned inward....

Yes I must admit that many times I pre-judge people.
I decide in advance that this meeting would not go very well, based on prior meetings...

As the meeting unfolded, an amazing thing happened.
I suppose I was the person, and this was the right time.

He shared with me burdens he was carrying for over 55 years.
Not the poor me kind of conversation. Two people from different generations, different sexes communicating in only what I can say a true God moment....


With tears in his eyes he thanked me for just listening, for not turning away, and for giving him the courage to admit to someone, what he has never been able to admit to himself...

I don't know what the outcome of this time shared will be.
I suppose I will never will know....

I am the one who feels honored, and unworthy of the gift this man gave me today.

Lessons that I will not soon forget.....

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17716350/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17716350/ Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:35:14 PDT
Had a weekend of exploration with my bf, and cousin steve.
Fantastic time.
I only took 279 photos friday night and saturday....

Love, and laughter.... How wonderful it was not to have to rush anywhere, I appreciate you R for taking the day off.
We explored and experience new people, places and things.
We did not go far, joy many times is found in our own backyards.

Fantastic time! Loads of pictures to work with. (like I needed 279 more)

So many angles, so many different shots to take.....
Endless possibilites.... How greatful and lucky I am for my love, and his love of photography, oh and for cousin steve too!

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17633323/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17633323/ Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:26:07 PDT To live, to love, to laugh without fear, what a challenge...


This is love: to fly toward a secret sky,

to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.

First, to let go of live.

In the end, to take a step without feet;

to regard this world as invisible,

and to disregard what appears to be the self.



Heart, I said, what a gift it has been

to enter this circle of lovers,

to see beyond seeing itself,

to reach and feel within the breast.

-Poems of Rumi

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17505959/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17505959/ Tue, 25 Mar 2008 08:40:37 PDT The grass had a light covering of frost.
It is still chilly, however I am seeing signs of spring.
Beautiful flowers starting to push through the hard, cold ground.
The sun is shinning, and of course spring fashions are in all the stores.
My daughters are heading to the stores for new, bright and cheery colors.

I appreciate the signs of spring, reminding me that warmer days are just around the corner...

New Life, Dazzling Colors, winter will soon be a distant memory.

I am thankful for the changing seasons in our world, but also in my soul.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17375458/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17375458/ Mon, 17 Mar 2008 08:19:26 PDT I experienced an incredible moment, when my friend Patti called me this weekend. Less than a 1 percent chance of living 2x's and she calls me on Saturday Morning. The tears we cried, the joy to my soul. I visited Patti on Sunday, hugging her and we both were crying happy tears of love, devotion, and thanksgiving. She being the wiser of the two of us, had to remind me to breath.

I can not explain to you the incredible moments we recieved.

Not one miracle, but two miracles!!!!

The pain was incredible when I thought we had lost her, the joy so amazing when she recovered, and I got to see her and hug her.

I have such love in my life, and have been very fortunate to have my friend back.

I had an incredible weekend sharing time with those I love.
My bf, My bf mother, Jordan, Valerie, Jessica, speaking to my older daughters, Patti and Jim.... I just want to give God the glory.....
Yes there are many moments of despair, and there have been many times I have walked in the valley, walked in the shadows...

Not everything turns out okay in life. I am celebrating this day, and all that has taken place over the weekend!.....

Miracles do happen, and Joy does come in the morning.

I just wanted to share how my faith was restored to me, by my dear friend... She stated to me, I will go through anything I must in life, for others to know god, and to know the strength of love, faith and God....

The most unselfish, incredible woman I have ever known....
How lucky I am, Just sharing!

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17312825/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17312825/ Thu, 13 Mar 2008 08:24:16 PDT The cause of the attack still a mystery. Doctor's were stunned and amazed.

Flash forward to last wed. Patti was once again lifelined to Hershey Medical, Intensive, Intensive Care. Critical Condition, the cause of this attack to her body, unknown. As before we thought we lost her.
Miracle #2. She regained consciousness, and as of yesterday, sat up in a chair with help, walked to the bathroom, and ate a meal.

Prayers do get answered!!!

I honor my friend because of the life she has lived, how she loves, and who she is. Her illness yet again has effected so many people for the positive. Patti is filled to overflowing with light, love, joy, peace, kindness, acceptance and a love for god that is not just words but actions each day. My favorite thing she says to me each time we get off the phone.. I love ya girl... I have heard this for over 30 years.

Patti taught me how to love myself, love god and to love others.
I thank god publically for answered prayer, for my friends life, and for miracles that have come in the last week.

She's my bud, and I am so grateful we will continue to have time to create more memories.

If you have a mind to pray, please pray for her continued healing.
Praise be to god!

Miracles do happen, more than once!

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17271935/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17271935/ Mon, 10 Mar 2008 13:52:24 PDT Being in the moment, and not miles away in my mind.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17207910/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17207910/ Thu, 06 Mar 2008 10:39:38 PST
Today I wanted to look at happy moments. Found Katie's birthday photos from the end of the summer.

Tiny little independent child.... Thinking about this day makes me smile.

Love to remember how much fun I had this day.

Sometimes the heaviness of certain days clouds out the beauty I have experienced in my life. Looking back I remember how Katie smiled and laughed.

Good Memories, relaxing day, fun celebration....

I love children, and am reminded of the wonderment in this world, when I pause and look through the eyes of a child.

Magical

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17207869/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17207869/ Thu, 06 Mar 2008 10:35:05 PST
]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17177726/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17177726/ Tue, 04 Mar 2008 10:05:40 PST The day ended well..... Two of my daughters and myself went to look at bridesmaid dresses. The first one was it.... Sent a photo to daughter Jamie at IUP, she loved it!

Imagine 3 daughters, one grandmother, one mother of the groom, and one mother of the bride, all liking the first dress....

I am thrilled for Nikki, she is excited, we have 16 months until the big day, the cool thing is the snapshot moments, that are leading to the big day.....

I sucked up my blah mood, and today it seems as if the mood is lifting ..

I don't like to feel blah, so its up to me to refocus and see the beauty in the day, and to stop moping.

I believe that I do have spring fever, and can not wait to see the sights the sounds and smells of spring...

Instead of moping about things that seem off, I am going to look at what is right....

I love the sunshine, and need to accept gray days for what they are.
Passing....

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17160982/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17160982/ Mon, 03 Mar 2008 08:09:11 PST It's been awhile since I had one of those rainy day monday's.
Oh well, at least there is only one in the week....

We purchased my daughters wedding gown this weekend.
Such a WOW moment, on my list of top moments in my life.

Many wow moments in my weekend.......

I will just have to suck it up, and get on with the day.

I need to remember, I believe in the sun when it is not shinning.
I believe in love even if I do not feel it.
I believe in God even when he seems silient...

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17100523/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17100523/ Thu, 28 Feb 2008 09:51:07 PST I forget sometimes that the sun does come out, and we do have blue skies again.

Want to show my appreciate for da and the artists. During gray sky days I was able to look at beauty, passion, and pain, and feel a connection through the arts.

All though we come from different countries, different artistic styles the common theme is art.

I have gained a greater appreciation for various media's and subjects, and have found profound beauty in photo's I would not have expected. Prior to my exposure to DA, I believe I was a art snob.

Now I can appreciate each artist, and the work that comes from their hearts and souls.

I appreciate comments on my photos, since I have a learning curve and I am not a professional, it is awesome to have tips, and remarks of the work I post.

DA challenges me to find the passionate artist that lives within me.
DA challenges me to soar higher, attempt more, and to create outside of the box...

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17053996/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17053996/ Mon, 25 Feb 2008 08:15:54 PST Perfect moments, many not caught on film...
Wonderful way to start the week filled with gratitude, and adoration....

The King reigns, the queen was dethroned.... Only temporarily however...

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17053956/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/17053956/ Mon, 25 Feb 2008 08:10:49 PST
]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/16945239/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/16945239/ Mon, 18 Feb 2008 12:07:35 PST
The best thing about the trip was watching the sunset each night over the Gulf of Mexico.

I loved falling asleep to the sound of the waves, and waking to the beauty that surrounded me.

I am glad to be back, I missed my daughters and Rich.
I wish I could pack all my friends, daughters and BF and take them all along.

I however believe I needed the time just to rejuvenate so I could come back a more sane person.

I did not realize how necessary the break was.

So I am back, slowly looking at photos I had taken, each night a new sunset, but I don't want to post mega photo's of sunsets.

Valentines day was wonderful. Looking forward to working on my Christmas gift. Motorcycle from my boyfriend, needs a good amount of work, and looking forward to learning to ride.

Hopefully this summer we can take off on our bikes for some great photo adventures....

I am at peace and celebrating simple pleasures in my day.
The sound of my bf voice on the phone.
Hanging out with my daughters.
Eating a good burger.
Listening to a choir of high school kids during their winter concert.
Just living and enjoying simple moments, and simple pleasures.

I believe by going away I found my way back home....

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/16639936/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/16639936/ Wed, 30 Jan 2008 07:30:28 PST I was going to cancel the trip because the closer it came the more I was afraid to go.

I thought of situatiions that could happen if I went. By taking time out to be renewed, I was some how being selfish.

I believe this trip is exactly what I need to get a little distance from the grief it seems that I have been stuck in.
I was feeling guilty, how can I go and have fun when there are so many people I love hurting over the death of my niece.
I had a car accident a few weeks ago when I hit a deer coming home from shooting pictures of an abandoned train with my boyfriend, and good friend.

I have physical therapy, and appointments that I had to change.
I kept on saying why are you doing this. The answer came today.

Life goes on. We will have heartache, we will have negative circumstances that come into our lives. But life has beauty also.
I got stuck in the negative, and fear and forgot that life is to be lived.

Lived with passion, and boldness. Not fearing each day, but remembering to see through the eyes of a child. See the beauty in the possibilites, to have the wonderment of a child, to embrace life as it is and not how I want it to be always.

I think of my niece and remember how she loved florida. How she would be saying Aunt Sonja are you crazy, its 33 degrees where you are now, go, walk the beach, drink wine, play in the surf, laugh, and don't forget the sunscreen.

So I decided to embrace this time of rest, and to not feel guilty for the good that comes into life.

I have been stuck in fear and grieving, but today I remember that life is to be lived, not out of fear, but with passion.


So I will pack up my suitcase, grab my cameras, and rediscover the beauty of life. I will remember that beauty comes from ashes.
I will remember how fearless Carrie was, how happy, loving, and adventurous she was. I will remember also how others spoke of carrie being a mini me. I will honor her life, and the love we shared by living once again with passion. More faith, less fear......

Carrie taught me how fragile life was and is. She taught me to love more, forgive more, and to be grateful for the lives of others.
To never be afraid to tell someone that I love them or appreciate them. In her life she taught me lessons, in her death she continues to teach me the value of life.

Life is to be lived, not to be feared. Live each day as if it is my last, and not to live with regret.

When I get back I hope that my photo's reflect love, rest, beauty and passion.... Okay I will settle for photos that are infocus, hehehe....

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/16521677/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/16521677/ Tue, 22 Jan 2008 13:47:45 PST It is just that when I focus on the bad, I don't look for the light in the darkness.

I think the news story of the man who threw the toddler from the window of his car while driving, did it for me. The harshness in this world blows me away.

My photos are not anything spectacular, I see beauty in this world.
Sometimes you have to look very hard to find it, sometimes the beauty surrounds us filling our hearts with joy.

My hope is to bring more light into this world, rather than darkness.
More love, and less hate
More forgiveness, and less bitterness
More laughter, and fewer tears.....

I suppose if each of us look for the light and beauty we can change our world one person at a time, starting with ourselves.

Life can make us bitter or better..... Choose Better........

Peace, and Love-Thank you for the beauty each of you display and share. Brightens up my days!

-sonja

Just remember when you fall down, get back up....

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/16327516/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/16327516/ Wed, 09 Jan 2008 09:45:31 PST I find when I make resolutions I then become focused on that which I ban myself from.

This year my goal is to live a life of integrity, and to allow myself to heal.

Last years journey was filled with losses, and in the midst of the journey I lost who I was. I became a person, that I don't even know, timid, frightened, hiding for fear of another loss to painful for me to live through.

Well as Dr. Phil would say, and I am not a Dr. Phil fan, but I like this statement...Is it working for you.... Well, no it has not.

Healing takes time, Grief is messy......

No rushing through it, no reading everything there is to know about it and applying step a, b, and c to have the hurt and pain go away.

I learned that you can never shield yourself from loss, hurt or pain.
Something I knew but forgot....

Love does not end, it may change but never, ever ends.....
Those who love much, grieve much.

Those who hurt, feel.....

I suppose that is life, we hurt, we feel, we love, we laugh.
I believe that it is better to love much, and to feel, that is who I am...

It's not so much in life what others do to you, it's more how I choose to accept, live, love, and believe anyway...

My faith was shaken, but god in his wisdom never, ever left me.
Faith and hope sometimes is all I really had, and I guess this is all I really need, to begin again, and again
blessings and peace to each of you this year.
Thank you for the beauty you add to my days.
I can never be sad when I look at the creativity, and beauty that each of you creates.....

-hope, peace, faith, and love to you and yours this year....

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/15478852/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/15478852/ Mon, 12 Nov 2007 12:53:22 PST Health stuff, to much on my plate stuff, you know how it gets sometimes.

So I thought Hmmm why don't you find a way to use your photo's to help others.

I found Healing Art Works on-line.

Healing Art Works is a non-profit organization committed to providing original art for patient spaces at hospitals and medical centers in order to facilitate emotional and physical healing through art.

I thought wow this is what I want to do.

website is [link]....

I am looking for photos for the Project 2007
The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.

You must submit an application and an 8 x 10 photograph of the donation piece, include a biography.

Mediump are watercolor, oil, acrylic, colored pencil, pastels, fabric, and photography. Other mediums must be approved by the hospital.

Hope all of you are doing well. I just started taking photos again a few weeks ago, and will be posting new photos soon.....

Blessings to each of you!

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14967149/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14967149/ Mon, 08 Oct 2007 08:18:56 PDT I love her soon to be husband, and I am so happy for them both.

Can you imagine the photos I will be taking.
Working on engagment photos, have any suggestions for non traditional photos of the happy couple.

Clouds come in, storms crash down, the sun comes out.
I suppose its not so much what happens in life, as it is do we choose to live through the sad, knowing that joy is there, or do we stay in our grief and have it completely color our world.


Who knows the answer, just thinking out loud.
Visiting my daughter Jamie, all 4 Hicks woman will be together this weekend at IUP. Watch out world! Here we come!

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14897271/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14897271/ Wed, 03 Oct 2007 10:34:34 PDT Supporting and loving him and his family through it.
The funeral is friday.....

It would be wonderful if there was no illness, and no death in the near future.

I am getting kind of afraid to answer the phone.

My Mom's bf sister, died on his birthday last tue.

Could use some prayers.

Looking forward to the grey skies going the heck away sooner, than later I hope......

I miss the old fart....
Come on birth's, engagments, weddings, sunshine, love, peace, joy, fun, and laughter.....

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14812949/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14812949/ Thu, 27 Sep 2007 12:18:28 PDT Leaving York, PA and having some fun in the city......

Yes, no reflection, just loud music, and dinner.....

I am so excited..........

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14686838/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14686838/ Tue, 18 Sep 2007 12:11:45 PDT I recieved a Canon EOS 10 Digital Camera, a stabilizing lens, filters, filters, filters, and and telephoto lens that blows me away.

My BF, his cousin, jordan and valeri, suprised me after an incredible scavenger hunt. What fun.


Went to Eastern State Pen this weekend and took lots of photos.
Only problem with the camera, no manual.

So my baby just sent me the 183 page manual, and now all I have to do is get the printer not to crap out after 10 pages.

I went to my youngest daughters field hockey game last friday, and with the camera equip. people came up to me and asked if I worked for the newspaper. No I stated. I did not add I am just an amateur photographer here to snap a few picture of my daughter playing.

It's funny I took both my camera's to eastern state pen.
The equipment makes me look like I know what I am doing.

Little do they know that I learned how to turn it on and off, where the flash is, playing with the filters, and lighting, and really don't know what I am doing yet.

Any suggestions on top features to use let me know.
I am currently loving taking pictures of shadows. Any kind of shadows. I have not take a decent photo at night and don't really know how to get a good one. Flash isn't the answer.

Wish me luck....

Thank you Queen Toast for reminding me to have fun!
I needed to hear that my friend.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14578509/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14578509/ Mon, 10 Sep 2007 16:49:12 PDT even when it is not shining.
I believe in love,
even when I don't feel it.
I believe in God,
even when there is silence."
-Words scratched on the walls of a cellar in Cologne, Germany by a Jew hiding from Nazi persecution.

I will believe for you, if you will believe for me.
Together, maybe we can see that the best is yet to be.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14575818/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14575818/ Mon, 10 Sep 2007 13:44:33 PDT
Don't know wether to celebrate or stay in bed.

This day became very difficult to celebrate after September 11, 2001.

Don't feel like doing the birthday reflecting deal this year.
Not a good year, some great moments, but the 44th year was filled with to many trials.....

hope 45 is a lot better.

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14516453/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14516453/ Thu, 06 Sep 2007 12:54:59 PDT Trying to remember to count my blessings in each day.
Care Bear taught us so much in life, and tremendous amounts in death.

500 people at the viewing, and around 650 people attended her funeral.... over 600 messages left on her my space, and pages, upon pages left on the obituary guest book....

She was that special.....

Not counting my days anymore, making my days count.
You never know how your life effects others.



A Life Poem

Life can seem ungrateful and not always kind.
Life can pull at your heartstrings and play with your mind...
Life can be blissful and happy and free...
Life can put beauty in the things that you see...
Life can place challenges right at your feet...
Life can make good of the hardships we meet...
Life can overwhelm you and make your head spin...
Life can reward those determined to win...
Life can be hurtful and not always fair...
Life can surround you with people who care...
Life clearly does offer its Up and its Downs...
Life's days can bring you both smiles and frowns...
Life teaches us to take the good with the bad...
Life is a mixture of happy and sad...

So...

Take the Life that you have and give it your best...
Think positive, be happy let God do the rest...
Take the challenges that life has laid at your feet...
Take pride and be thankful for each one you meet...
To yourself give forgiveness if you stumble and fall...
Take each day that is dealt you and give it your all...
Take the love that you're given and return it with care...
Have faith that when needed it will always be there...
Take time to find the beauty in the things that you see...
Take life's simple pleasures let them set your heart free...
The idea here is simply to even the score...
As you are met and faced with Life's Tug of War

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14516452/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14516452/ Thu, 06 Sep 2007 12:54:57 PDT Trying to remember to count my blessings in each day.
Care Bear taught us so much in life, and tremendous amounts in death.

500 people at the viewing, and around 650 people attended her funeral.... over 600 messages left on her my space, and pages, upon pages left on the obituary guest book....

She was that special.....

Not counting my days anymore, making my days count.
You never know how your life effects others.



A Life Poem

Life can seem ungrateful and not always kind.
Life can pull at your heartstrings and play with your mind...
Life can be blissful and happy and free...
Life can put beauty in the things that you see...
Life can place challenges right at your feet...
Life can make good of the hardships we meet...
Life can overwhelm you and make your head spin...
Life can reward those determined to win...
Life can be hurtful and not always fair...
Life can surround you with people who care...
Life clearly does offer its Up and its Downs...
Life's days can bring you both smiles and frowns...
Life teaches us to take the good with the bad...
Life is a mixture of happy and sad...

So...

Take the Life that you have and give it your best...
Think positive, be happy let God do the rest...
Take the challenges that life has laid at your feet...
Take pride and be thankful for each one you meet...
To yourself give forgiveness if you stumble and fall...
Take each day that is dealt you and give it your all...
Take the love that you're given and return it with care...
Have faith that when needed it will always be there...
Take time to find the beauty in the things that you see...
Take life's simple pleasures let them set your heart free...
The idea here is simply to even the score...
As you are met and faced with Life's Tug of War

]]> ~redxena http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14375010/ http://redxena.deviantart.com/journal/14375010/ Tue, 28 Aug 2007 04:05:24 PDT
]]> ~redxena