http://search.deviantart.com/?q=by:reject4lyf&section=today deviantART RSS for by:reject4lyf en-us Copyright 2009, deviantART.com Sat, 19 Dec 2009 14:40:11 PST deviantART.com http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://s.deviantart.com/minish/widgets/apple-touch-icon-precomposed.png http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/22351446/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/22351446/ Fri, 02 Jan 2009 10:30:32 PST
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]]> ~reject4lyf http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/21836663/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/21836663/ Fri, 05 Dec 2008 18:38:56 PST i dunno, despite this traumatizing fact, i have to say im kind of happy.

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I really wonder sometimes, if I was meant to be alone. it seems to be a reasonable enough answer, because something almost always keeps me away from those who care, or who i care about. and sadly, sometimes it's the fact that THEY don't care that keeps me away from them, that's teh kind of separation that hurts the most. like my mother, that one year that she kicked me out. she kept me away from her because she didnt want me. And Oz. We don't speak because he doesn't want me, (which I'm getting over).

But maybe it's worse, knowing someone cares about you and is probably missing you too, because then you know that they might be in pain too, which hurts worse than knowing someone doesnt want you. maybe. it's a close line.

what do you think? what would hurt worse? being separated from someone because they dont want you, or being separated from them knowing that they do care and probably miss you almost as much as you miss them?

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another thing is school. I'm failing four classes miserably. and I'm going to get kicked out of my classes that are meant to be extra support. That leads to another issue.

My parents want to put my ass on a PINS petition. If you don't know what it is, look it up. It basically means I have a set curfew, have to do well in school, and that i have to meet with a parole officer after school every day, and guess what happens if I'm NOT little miss perfect? I get carted off to juvie hall. sounds like fun, right?

I'm having family problems, CPS is looking for an excuse to rip me out of my home, and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. So yea, life sucks, I'm lonely, and that's about it.

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]]> ~reject4lyf http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/21215862/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/21215862/ Wed, 29 Oct 2008 11:44:56 PDT and is it really love, if you flirt with every other person you possibly can? if you really love someone, shoudlnt that one person be enough to satisfy your needs? im confused, a little sad, and i dont know what im doing anymore.

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]]> ~reject4lyf http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20941073/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20941073/ Sat, 11 Oct 2008 17:35:43 PDT physical

2- Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive


3- Can men and women be " Just Friends?"

yes

4- Dating co-workers?

thats not smart

5- All expenses paid vacation to anywhere?

london


6- On the way to the electric chair - What's your last meal?

sushi and steak



7- The water park..

sucks

8- When you are "In Love" do you notice other people?

sometimes

9- Is flirting cheating?

depends

10- Would you rather have 1 great friend or 5 pals?

one great friend


11- If someone called you a bitch would you be offended?

nope


12- Are you ok with your significant other being friends with an ex?

yea sure

13- Would you live with someone without marrying them?

of course


14- Favorite sport?

shopping


15- Is toilet paper hung over or under?

over


16- Do you squeeze toothpaste from the middle or end of the tube?

i dunno

17- How do you feel about tanning booths?

i dont do it


18- Friends with benefits

sometimes


19- Do you believe in angels?

no


20- Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures?

take them


21- Have you ever flirted with someone you had no interest in?

yup


22 - Ever kissed a random person and then walked away?

yea
23- Would you buy bootleg merchandise?

wait, what's that?


24- What color looks best on you?

green
25- If you could play any sport professionally what would it be?

i wouldn't


26- Ever break up with someone and regret it?

hell yea

27- Are you a jealous person?

yes

28- Would you ever have plastic surgery?

no


29- When do you want to get married?

not sure if i do

30- Who has the sexiest accents?

british


31- Next concert you're attending?

none


32- Favorite song?

savin' me by nickelback

33- Favorite movie?

i dunno

34- What's your occupation?

school


35- What's your sign?

scorpio

36- Are you a beach, country or city person?

none

37- Best vacation spot you've been to?

um...my room?


38- Have you ever had a "secret affair?"

unfortunately

39- If you could own a non-traditional pet which would it be?

anaconda

40- Favorite show as a child?

i dont remember


41- Where do you spend most of your money?

school

42- Are you currently working at a job that you hate?

school, but i like it


43- Have you ever been so heart broken that you called in sick to work

yea

44- Favorite summer drink?

shirley temple


45- Can you change a car tire?

no

46- Favorite cologne / perfume?

mens cologne


47- Favorite candle scent?

peppermint


48- Would you consider yourself adventurous?

hell yea!


49- What is your My Space profile song?

i dont have a myspace

50- Favorite concert attended?

soulfest?

51- Would you date an already attached man / woman?

probably not


52- Would you sing Karaoke in front of co-workers?

maybe


53- Can you shoot pool?

kinda, not really


54- Do you like your siblings' significant others?

my sibs are too young to date


55- Can you drive a stick?

nope


56- When you marry will you wear white?

no, jsut a teeshirt and jeans


57- Have you ever sat and hoped for a phone call?

yup


58- Ever skip school and spend the day at the beach?

no


59- Favorite TV show?

?a haunting

60-What do you think about gay mar... ]]> ~reject4lyf http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20938717/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20938717/ Sat, 11 Oct 2008 14:38:24 PDT
2) Name Backwards: Ahtebat

3) Were you named after anyone?: my middle name is my great grandmothers

4) Does your name mean anything?: gazelle

5) Nick Name(s): Roxy, Fag McMuffin, Tabby, Nymph, Elf, Leprechaun, Shmurf...ect.

6) Screen Name(s):none

7) Date of Birth: 10|28|93

8) Place of Birth: somewhere in michagan

9) Nationality: native american, french, dutch, irish

10) Current Location: home

11) Sign: Scorpio

12) Religion: not sure, i practice witchcraft though

13) Height: 5'1/2"?

14) Weight: 135

15) Shoe Size: ?

16) Hair colour: blue w/ brown/black roots

17) Eye colour: fucking blue

18) What do you look like?: a person

19) Innie or Outie?: my belly button? who's asking?

20) Righty, Lefty, both: Right.

21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other?: bi

22) Best friends?: not sure anymore

23) Best friend you trust the most: my second ex.

24) Best friends {your sex}: i dont know

25) Best friends of the opposite sex: no idea

26) Best Bud(s):i said i dont know!!!

27) Boyfriend / Girlfriend: joe

28) Crush: ya

29) Parent(s):yup. three of 'em

31) Favorite on-line Guy(s): joe!

32) Favorite on-line Girl(s): too many

33) Funniest friend: erm...alan, i think

34) Craziest friend: brittani no doubt about it

35) Advice Friend: alan.

36) Loudest Friend: brittani

37) Person you cry with: brittni switser

Do You Have...

38) Any sisters: yeah, 3

39) Any brothers: 5

40) Any pets: yeah. too many

41) A Disease: depression, anxiety

42) A Pager: no

43) A Personal phone line: Nope.

44) A Cell phone: no

45) A Lava lamp: Nope.

46) A Pool or hot tub: no

47) A Car: i iwsh

Describe Your...

48) Personality: im moody and self centered, but i care about my friends and loved ones

49) Driving: only on a motorcycle

50) Car or one you want: harley motorbike

51) Room: tiny

52) What’s missing?: clean-ness

53) School: socializing place

54) Bed: too tall

55) Relationship with your parent(s): i have no respect for my father, i fell like my mother is my daughter, and my stepmum has a lot of control over me, more than i would like to admit

Do You

56) Believe in yourself: Not really


58) Consider yourself a good listener: Yeah.

60) Get Along with your parents: sometimes

61) Save your e-mail conversations: some

62) Pray: sometimes

63) Believe in reincarnation: yeah..

64) Like to make fun of people: mostly my friends

65) Like to talk on the phone: Yes!!!

66) Like to eat?: hell yea

67) Like to drive: not particularly

68) Get motion sickness: no

69) Eat the stems of broccoli: no

70) Eat Chicken fingers with a fork: ...so what if i do?

71) Dream in color: Most of the time.

72) Type with your fingers on home row: yea

73) Sleep with a stuffed animal? yup! :3

74) Right next to you: laptop

75) On the walls of your room: notes, pictures, and random scribbles

76) On your mouse pad: i dont have one

77) Your dream car: a motorcycle

78) Your dream date: in his/her bedroom

79) Your dream honeymoon spot: again, bedroom

80) Your dream husband/wife: husband....lets not go there/wife: sexy redhead, green eyes and loves me like nuts

81) Your bedtime: 10.

82) Under your bed: a desk, and a mess

83) The single most important question: why?

84) Your bad time of the day: mid day

85) Your worst fear(s): losing the people i love

86) The weather like: cool

87) The time?: 5:31

88) The date?: 10|11|08

89) The best trick you ever played on someone: condoms in a locker with a note saying, "this is for every girl youre never gonna get

90) The weirdest food or drink that you eat: sardines

91) Theme Song: its a matter of trust by billy joel

92) The hardest thing about growing up: first feelings of "love"

93) Your funniest experience: eheheh...we're not going to discuss that

94) Your scariest moment: getting raped

95) The silliest thing you've said: silly goose?

96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of th... ]]> ~reject4lyf http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20938231/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20938231/ Sat, 11 Oct 2008 14:02:40 PDT
]]> ~reject4lyf http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20910020/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20910020/ Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:39:05 PDT 002. Nickname? Tabby Kat
003. Status? taken
004. Zodiac sign? Scorpio (you know, the sex based one)
005. Male or female? female
006. Elementary? no
007. Middle School? no
008. High School? 10th
009. Smart? Not really
010. Hair color? blue
011. Long or short? short
012. Loud or Quiet? both
013. Sweats or Jeans? jeans
014. Phone or Camera? Camera phone, what now?!
015. Health freak? Not quite
016. Drink or Smoke? drink
017. Do you have a crush on someone? yes
018. Eat or Drink? food
019. Piercings? ears
020. Tattoos? Not yet

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing? ears
024. First best friend? Casey youns
025. First award? Spelling bee
026. First crush? A kid named andrew
027. First pet? My kitty simba
028. First big vacation? Michagan/texas
030. First big birthday? 3rd

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating? nothing
050. Drinking? nada
052. I'm about to? Get really sad
053. Listening to? news
054. Plans for today? Call my bo later
55. Waiting for? My bf to come home so I can call him

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids? yea
059. Want to get married? yea
060. Careers in mind? actress

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
068. Lips or eyes? Lips on girls, eyes on guys
070. Shorter or taller? Taller guys shorter girls
072. Romantic or spontaneous? Romantic guys, spontaneous girls
073. Nice stomach or nice arms? Stomach on girls, arms on guys
074. Sensitive or loud? Sensitive guys, loud girls
075. Hook-up or relationship? Relationship.
077. Trouble maker or hesitant? Trouble maker


HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts? don't have them
081. Ran away from home? kinda
084. Broken someones heart? yea.
085. Been arrested? Not yet
087. Cried when someone died? Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself? Not really, I'm just a figment of my imagination
090. Miracles? yes
091. Love at first sight? NO
092. Heaven? no
093. Santa clause? no
094. Sex on the first date? no
095. Kiss on the first date? yea

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? ya
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? no
099. Do you believe in God? Not sure
100. Post as 100 truths and tag? tag, ur it

]]> ~reject4lyf http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20893851/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20893851/ Wed, 08 Oct 2008 17:06:34 PDT
school: im failing half of my classes again. im too lazy to do homework, too lazy to do even some school work. im too focused on the computer. however, (and this is th epart i didnt want to put up) on the bright side, Oz is talking to me. Normally, like a friened would. and that makes me ahppy, yet it also depresses me considering things can never be the way they used to be, and seeing his face reminds me of how things were.

home: im living with my stepmothers mom. we dont get along the greatest. sandra is still in the hospital with summer, who still hasnt come home, so im stressed out. my friends also got in a fight with my grandmother so i cant go out with them anymore. meanwhile at my mothers house, i havent been there in a while. oh yea, and i kind of doubt my party will work out, so that is really depressing.

online: my boyfriend is off flirting with other girls. i think thats all i really need to say to express my mood. ive put up with it once, i really dont want to deal with it again. but i cant dump him, id be hurting myself even more.

thats all, thanks for hearing me whine if anyone got this far.

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]]> ~reject4lyf http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20632662/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20632662/ Tue, 23 Sep 2008 09:22:28 PDT I feel bad considering he knows I love someone else, but he doesn't seem to mind. I kind of wish it had been a girl, but i'm fine with what i have.

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]]> ~reject4lyf http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20423446/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20423446/ Wed, 10 Sep 2008 13:43:48 PDT It's strange really, brittni and i don't talk so much anymore, we hardly see each other, we're falling apart, this should upset me, but I'm still happy. i don't have a deep meaningful relationship with anyone, yet i still feel light as air. I have friends, but not BEST friends like I did with the fantasmic four, i should be disappointed, yet i feel over joyed.
hormones? perhaps, but something tells me there's more to this than even I know, a good sign for the future. things are going to get better for me i can feel it.

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]]> ~reject4lyf http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20326654/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20326654/ Thu, 04 Sep 2008 15:33:46 PDT [link]

]]> ~reject4lyf http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20323752/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20323752/ Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:49:45 PDT
I saw both Brittni/Brittani's.
Ran into Alan and talked to him a lot.
Saw this old friend of mine named Niko, that was awsome, I missed him over th esummer...
let's see...I saw Anthony....
Lawrence. I cut class with Lawrence for the first 20 minutes or so of last period, but he didn't seem in a god mood, so we didn't really talk much.
ummmmm..... I saw.... some old friends from eighth grade, but I didn't see Maggie! I was wondering where Maggie was but I didn't see her.
I ran into Felicia too.
I don't want to leave anyone out but that's all I can think of right now.
Oh yea! And Josh. He's the only person I know in any of my classes so far, and that doesn't really count because we're not really friends.

So yea, I saw a lot of people, school seems a little difficult, but I guess I want a challenge right now, so I'll try hard to do well. Speaking of which, I have homework, so see y'all later!

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]]> ~reject4lyf http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20288128/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20288128/ Tue, 02 Sep 2008 11:07:53 PDT and besides, age is but a number right? what's wrong with being with someone twice your age, does it really matter? And why the hell is it just me who thinks almost any kind of relationship is okay?
I have no problem with cousins liking cousins (dani dont freak out im talking about jamie, not you) I have no problem dating a thirty five year old, and dammit Alan Rickman is still sexy in his sixties no matter what you say!
this is me and my famous rant, I hope you enjoyed yourselfs

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everyone says i would be more accepted if my hair was longer, well, now i can test that theory.

it comes a little past my chin in front, and goes up to about th emiddle of my neck in back, but th ebest thing of all is the color. turquoise.

it's shiny and smooth and so much nicer than my real hair, my real hair is rough and dry and scraggly from all the dying i do to it, so its nice to have smooth soft hair for a change.

i think im going to wear it every day, i may even shave my head so i dont have to worry about my real hair poking through. i dont need my real hair now that ive got a wig.

my mum wants to buy me a new color every holiday, thatd be nice. i really liked this dark purple one i saw too.

anyway, it looks real, and i can hide behind it, i like it...so...yea

~ Tabetha

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1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
8a. Away
9. Drive
9a. Cut
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
16a. Spit
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
18a. Under
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
21a. War
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
23a. Distasteful
24. No Time
24a. Want
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
26a. Europe
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
29a. Urban
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
33a. Wrath
34. Stars
34a. Moon
35. Hold My Hand
36a. Walk
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
40a. 4:29 PM
41. Teamwork
41a. Citric Acid
42. Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
45a. Two Guns
46. Family
46a. Drop
47. Creation
47a. Dirt
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
49a. Preservatives
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
52a. Old
53. Keeping a Secret
53a. Desecrate
54. Tower
55. Waiting
55a. Need
56. Danger Ahead
56a. Biohazard
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
60a. Desert
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
62a. Voodoo
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
64a. City
65. Horror
66. Traps
66a. Snow
67. Playing the Melody
67a. Drum
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession
72. Mischief Managed
72a. Mislead
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
79a. FUCK
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
82a. +
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
84a. Cold
85. Spiral
85a. Sick
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
87a. Hunger
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
92a. Rape
93. Give Up
93a. Iron
94. Last Hope
94a. Soft
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation
100a. Gone

]]> ~reject4lyf http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20235334/ http://reject4lyf.deviantart.com/journal/20235334/ Sat, 30 Aug 2008 11:59:18 PDT Things arent as stressful as last time though. Things are kind of nice. I feel needed here, too. I remember that feeling, and i love it now.
theres a lot of responsibility here, a ton of babysitting and a lot of cleaning, but every ounce of work is worth being here with everyone.
so y'all have seen every bit of my journey, from the beginning of a year and a half ago when i left my mothers house, im glad some of you could journey with me to a year and a half later when i could see them again. its been a rough adventure, but i think it made me stronger.

]]> ~reject4lyf